Original subtitles

- So, where have you been?

I've been trying to call you for weeks.

- I've had a lot on my plate.

- Girl, what's going on with you?

You don't answer your phone.

I've been texting you and everything.

- I forgot to charge my phone.

- Keep it real.

You on that pipe?

- Thanks for stopping by, Lottie,

but I don't have a lot of time to talk right now.

- Oh, hold on.

Did you hear about Karen?

She disappeared after she fired you.

Uh-uh!

Are they keeping you locked up in here?

- I'm sorry to have been out of touch, Lottie.

I've been doing my taxes.

- Bitch, you ain't filed your taxes in 10 years.

Now I know something's got a hold of you,

and you best believe I'm gonna find out what it is.

- I love my mommy so much!

- Hey, honey.

- What's up?

- So, are you gonna let us in or what?

Nice digs.

- I'm Butch.

That there's the mistress.

- You looked a lot more like George Clooney

in your profile pic.

- I get that a lot.

- You can call me Trigger.

- He rides all night long.

Now what about that drink?

- Coming right up.

- Freaky dolls.

You two are dark as fuck.

- You could say that again.

- Hmm, why thank you.

- To world domination.

- Do you guys have our cash?

- We do.

Here you go.

- All right.

Woo, let's party!

- Damn, Mistress, you don't waste any time.

- Don't speak.

- Yes.

- Night-night.

- I'm sorry I was naughty, Daddy.

I promise I'll do my homework.

Please don't punish me.

- You didn't do your studies.

Now it's time to pay.

- Punish me.

Ow, take it easy.

- I'm ready, my Mistress.

- Are you sure?

- Fuck yeah.

Hey, wait.

Where're you going?

- Punish me, Daddy.

Punish me.

Give it to me, Daddy.

Are we gonna do this or what?

- That was a picture of George Clooney.

- Yeah, no shit.

Hey, grab me a beer.

- Hey, let me go!

- Trigger?

- Uma?

Don't be coy.

Come untie me.

- What?

- These people are whack!

They're thinking about pulling a Leatherface on us.

- Well, I'm tied up too.

- What the fuck is this shit?

- It's a bear!

Time for a surprise murder party,

and this is your surprise!

A toast to you!

Drink it down, man whore.

- Let me go!

You guys can have your money back.

I won't tell anyone what you're up to, I swear!

- Yes, yes!

- Let me out!

What the fuck is that?

Trigger?

No!

- Yes!

- No!

- Yes!

- Patty cake, patty cake, dirty whore,

close your mouth 'til you can't no more.

- Hail, Satan.

- Prince of Darkness.

- Losers.

- Sybil Pittman?

Detective Klink.

Let me help you with that.

You are Miss Pittman, correct?

You're missing the Y.

- Missing the Y?

- On your kitty shirt.

You're missing the Y.

- What do you want?

- Well, ma'am,

I work for the family of Miss Karen Kibbler.

Miss Kibbler was your supervisor

at the Homebody Household Complaint Center, correct?

I'm sure you heard the news that Miss Kibbler

has been institutionalized.

- She's alive?

- She was found in the woods, naked, near Lake Erie.

- Naked.

- She had a complete and total nervous breakdown.

She's currently being treated at Bayfield Sanitarium,

her face somehow completely disfigured.

The attendants told me she just sits in her cell,

rambling about a killer baby doll.

- Wow, that is crazy.

- Right?

Well, in this line of business, you see it all.

Tell me, was she acting unusual before she terminated you?

- No, she was very upbeat.

- Upbeat?

- Listen, I didn't know her very well, okay?

I'm not gonna be much help to you.

- Well, if you think of anything out of the ordinary,

would you mind giving me a call?

- Oh sure.

Listen, I got some bacon on the stove.

I'm gonna go check that out.

- Of course.

Oh, one more thing.

While searching for your address online,

I came across your web series.

Beautiful work.

You really know your toys.

- I just ain't got time for that anymore.

- Yeah, I noticed you stop posting.

Little ones really keep you on your toes, don't they?

Well, you have a nice day.

- Cocksucker.

- She has a medical condition.

- My mommy is the best cook in the world.

When does baby get to kill again?

- When you finish your SpaghettiOs.

- No, no!

I want to crack some skulls.

- Where'd you ditch the bodies?

- Uma and Trigger fell down mine shaft and go boom.

- To never be heard from again.

Toy Hell is on the horizon.

- Praise Satan.

- Beware the Toy Master.

Still a total fuck up.

You can't get anything right, can you, Sybil?

Get rid of that doll, you numbskull.

The Toy Master is on the horizon.

- Ray-Ray, did you see that?

- Cuckoo.

- No.

- Hey, somebody's coming.

Fresh meat!

- Now what?

- I need to kill again.

Look at me.

I'm shriveling up.

- There's someone here. Hide her.

- Baby wants to kill. - Sh! Quiet!

- Fuck you, lady.

- Should we? - No.

There's too many people coming here.

Take her downtown and find someone for her to butcher,

and then put her in time out.

- Let's fucking do this!

- Go on, get.

- Bye, Mommy.

- Sybil Pittman?

- Who wants to know?

- Where are my manners?

Skipper Beasley, Twinkle Toys Manufacturing.

- Look, I don't need no more toys, okay?

- Oh, you're so sweet.

No girl, I came here to meet you.

All the way from China.

- What's happening?

- What's happening is I'm your biggest fan,

and I've come bearing super fun gifts,

and a life changing opportunity.

- I love when my daddy

takes me on murder play dates.

After I execute someone,

can we go to the zoo?

- Oh, what a beautiful dream house.

- Look lady, if you're trying to sell some-

- Girlfriend, can we sit down?

You know, keep it 100?

You're going to love what I have to share with you.

Here's the sitch.

I've been the President of Development

at Twinkle Toys Beijing for, oh, six years now,

and I've been following your doll channel for a long time.

Sybil, are you aware your web series has gone totally viral?

People are watching you, girlfriend.

You're a full on influencer.

- I don't do that.

- It's time that the queen of the doll kingdom

started building her brand.

And what I'm telling you is we see you Sybil.

We see you and we want to help.

On behalf of Twinkle Toys Manufacturing,

we would like to offer you the opportunity

to partner with our president, Juan Chung,

and develop your very own line of precious baby dolls.

- Auntie Sybil's Sweet Angel Babies?

- Couldn't you just die?

- Baby dolls sent from heaven above?

- When we are done,

your dolls will be everywhere.

Baby Oopsie will dominate the toy market,

as we mass produce thousands of units

in our state of the art facility in Beijing.

She'll be in every house,

on every playground,

and are you ready for this?

We propose that Oopsie get two new fun friends.

Meet Cowboy Roy and Frownie Clownie,

both completely handcrafted by you of course.

Just think of what you could accomplish

in a world filled with your dolls.

- Where do I sign?

- Yay!

Girls can do anything if they only put their mind to it.

All we need is for you to share Oopsie's designs,

and to build the prototypes for the two new characters.

We'll do the rest!

- Wake up, loser.

Your daddy's still rolling in his grave.

Loser.

- Mitzi?

- Idiot.

I must have told you a hundred times

to get rid of those goddam dolls.

Now look what's happening.

And I thought you hit rock bottom

when you started selling Amway.

Open your eyes, nitwit.

You've been hornswoggled.

Pull yourself out of this

before the Toy Master opens the gates of Toy Hell.

- The Toy Master?

- You ain't evil, Sybil.

You're just stupid.

- Are you two ready to meet Baby Oopsie?

Let's get this rodeo started.

Happy birthday.

- Mommy!

Mommy!

Mommy!

Mommy!

- My daddy's scrapbook.

- Can we go get chicken fingers,

and then kill the drive thru lady?

- Shh!

- They're using you.

- What's wrong, Mommy?

- Hornswoggled.

- Hornswoggled?

- Use your noodle, Sybil.

Played like a fiddle.

- What are you looking at, Mommy?

Uh-oh, Mommy's seeing things again.

- Hey, honey.

Beautiful work.

Using creativity to serve Satan can be so satisfying.

Today we take out the mailman.

- Snitches get stitches.

- Earl?

- Special delivery,

for a special lady?

- Ray-Ray?

- Yes.

He had it coming.

- Well, drive safely?

- Okay, honey.

- I love you, Mommy!

- All the packages I deliver to you

are mailed from Ray-Ray's house.

He's the one sending you all these doll parts.

- Baby footprints?

Miss Pittman.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

are you ready for the rebirth

of the one and only Baby Oopsie?

I'm willing to bet she's going to be

full of all kinds of surprises.

- Same doll.

- And here we go.

Catholic of the Year?

Mitzi was right.

I ain't evil.

- Atta girl.

Now destroy those dolls before it's too late!

- But...

But I can't do it alone.

- Hello?

- Did you locate the cretin with the doll?

- Yes, Mr. Chung.

And she fell for it.

Hook, line, and sinker.

- Well, hello there, my little beautiful friends.

Ready to raise a little hell, honeys?

- Breathe some life into them, Daddy.

- Does she suspect anything?

- No, she's extremely gullible.

- Continue to befriend her.

When you get the opportunity,

you will take them and return to Beijing.

- Yes, Mr. Chung.

- In the meantime,

take as many photos of the dolls as you can,

just in case you fail your mission.

- I won't fail.

- I hope for your sake you don't.

- Don't worry, Mr. Chung.

You'll be selling Baby Oopsie knockoffs

in a matter of weeks.

- It's you that should be worried, Miss Beasley.

Just get me the dolls!

- I call upon Satan to animate these dolls.

- Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

- What the fuck are you up to?

- Mommy, Mommy.

What are you doing, Mommy?

- Oh hell no.

That's it. Bye y'all.

- Howdy, little mans.

Yeehaw! - Fuck!

- My bread basket!

- Fuck off, lady.

Dumb bitch.

- Who you calling bitch?

- Hey, let me give you the stamp of approval!

Let go of me!

I'm a baby.

Ow.

You bitch, I'll snap you both!

- Mother fucking clown.

- Get her!

- You can't resolve your sins unless you confess.

You see, there is no judgment in the house of the Lord.

- I don't even know where to begin.

This isn't exactly a scenario

you can easily wrap your head around.

- Trust me. I understand.

But you must know that there is no story he has not heard,

no sin that he cannot forgive.

- I think this one might surprise him.

- We won't know unless you confess.

- One day somebody sent me a bunch of baby doll parts

and I put 'em together and somehow...

- Yes it's okay. Go ahead.

- The doll came to life

and started killing people.

Hello?

- I'm sorry.

Could you repeat that? - You heard me.

It started killing all my haters

and when it run out of them, it started killing people.

I actually did like.

Heck, some I hadn't even met yet.

Are you there, sir?

- Yeah. Yeah.

Is that all? - No, that ain't all.

Worst part is it was all caused by my satanic neighbor.

He put a whammy on me

and made me think this was all a good idea.

That was until the ghost of my dead stepmother

came to me in a dream.

She tried to knock some sense into me.

- Okay, okay. I think I got it.

- No, I haven't even got to the part

where the toy master takes over the Earth.

- May I ask, have you been placed under any medication

for some form of psychiatric condition?

- Well, yes, but that ain't the point.

The point is this is completely out of character for me.

I was Catholic of the year once.

- Yes, I'm certain.

Do you still take this medication consistently?

- Well, yes.

Well, no.

But listen to me, the doll is real.

- My dear, you need prayer.

Lots of it.

Consider asking the Lord for forgiveness

and if anything and most importantly upping your dosage.

- But...

- And get your medication sorted out.

And I promise you that the Lord will deliver.

My dear, you don't need a priest.

No, no.

You need a doctor.

- Tell me about the doll.

- I was working late at night.

It came out of nowhere.

It could walk and talk all on its own.

She sent it.

- She?

- She sent the doll to kill me.

- You busy?

- Yeah. What's up?

- I'm lost.

Cleveland CPS just sent in an interview

they did with some kid, probably family abuse,

but she's got a pretty whack story.

- What's wrong with her?

- Get this,

she claimed she was attacked by a killer doll.

- Would you like to buy

a box of unicorn girl cookies?

- Mommy? The mean lady opened it again!

- I can't believe they call those damn things pets.

About bit my leg off, piece of shit.

Jesus.

Oh, for the love of Christ!

It does not go here.

Imbecile!

- Hey honey.

- Ray Ray, you snuck up on me.

- Sorry. I was wondering if you could add this to your haul.

- Yeah, sure.

It's a little heavy.

- It's a surprise for an old friend.

- Speaking of old friends,

I haven't seen you since Sybil had her accident.

Did anyone ever figure out how she got so scraped up?

- Poor thing.

She slipped and fell at the workshop.

- Household accidents.

Aren't they the worst?

Tell her I said hi?

- I sure will.

- Thanks.

- Goodbye, Earl.

- Adios muchacho.

- CPS: your mother says you haven't slept in weeks.

Taffy: I'm afraid.

CPS: Of what?

The girl hesitates then says the doll.

CPS: What doll?

Taffy: The one that lives in the mean lady's house.

Get this.

Taffy: It bit me.

She shows CPS a bite on her arm.

CPS: Whose house did this doll bite you in?

- Sybil Pittman.

- How fast can you get me a cop and a search warrant?

- 24 hours.

- Make it 10.

- Yes, sir.

- You can accomplish

all of your goals and dreams.

Nothing can stop you.

Fill your mind with warm positivity.

- Come on, Earl.

- Visualize yourself

in the life you desire, the life that you deserve.

- Pick up the phone.

- You can own that Corvette.

You can live in a lavish house.

- Stand back.

- You can take porn stars.

It's all up to you and your connection to the universe.

- Get outta the way.

Let's do this.

- And when you do come upon

those who try to suppress you,

- Watch it there, missy,

you poked me in the biscuits.

- Stomp them out,

put them in an imaginary box and light it on fire.

- Murder doll,

murder doll, murder doll.

- Before it does you.

- Fuck off, dimwit.

- Always do it

with warmth and kindness.

- This is loading dock, Earl.

- Earl, Bob from the bait shop

says he's missing a package.

- Yeah, let me go take a look.

- Can you check if it's back there?

- Shh!

- I don't see it back here. - Are you sure?

- Yeah, sure.

I'll keep an eye out.

- Keep an eye open. - All right.

- It's important, Earl. - I said I would keep

looking for it.

- You have been losing packages-

- Don't push me, Darlene.

- Surprise!

- Special delivery for a special asshole!

- Reach for the sky.

It's playtime, dickweed.

Sorry hoss, not high enough.

- Just relax.

- Yeehaw! - Just go limp.

Lay back.

- So pretty. - Let's hit the floor

for some deep meditation.

- Hickory, what the hell are you doing here?

- Hey, Sybil.

- You've been laid off for over a year.

Why do you keep showing up?

Better yet, why do you keep raking the same damn pile?

- Well it's, you know, your daddy was always so generous.

- I've heard all that before, Hickory.

Go away.

This is a terrible time for you to be here.

- Look, the truth is,

well, I'm sweet on you, Sybil.

- I'm gonna pretend that I just didn't hear that.

- But it's true.

- You're married to my cousin.

- She doesn't understand me.

Sweet Mistress, I saw your profile

on the Dominate Me dirty app.

We are made for each other, Sybil.

- Hickory, this profile ain't even real.

- Well, it is to me.

Why do you think I've been out here doing all this yard work

without getting paid all this time?

I live to serve.

- Would you get up?

- Yes, Mistress.

- Stop it.

This conversation is over.

- Look, just have lunch with me, all right?

- If you go away, yes.

- Great.

Friday. I'll pick you up, okay?

- What is she doing here?

- What up, girlfriend?

Aren't they to die for?

The Chinese call them ,

which basically means party in your mouth.

- Ain't you gonna have none?

- Oh, I don't eat.

So how are the dolls coming along?

- Skipper, the thing with the dolls ia, I can't-

- Oh, I can't wait either.

This is gonna be big.

Can I see your progress?

- They ain't done yet.

- But you have started building them?

- Yes, I've started building them.

It's just the thing is I can't with the-

- Listen to me carefully.

It's very important that we keep Mr. Chung happy,

very important.

Between us girls, he's famous for squashing people

that break contracts.

Literally.

- It's just- - I hate to be the enforcer,

but it's my job as a strong, young business woman

to make sure that you fulfill your obligation.

You don't want Twinkle Toys on your bad side, girl.

Things can get super ugly

if you don't hold up your end of the bargain.

Don't let my adorable exterior fool you.

I can be all business if I need to.

You signed the deal and you need to follow through.

Trust me.

You don't want any bad blood.

- How's that bad blood, you dumb blonde bitch?

- Sybil?

Now, ready to show me your progress?

- Where are they?

- What do you mean?

- The dolls? They were right here.

- What? Who could have taken them?

- Oh, I forgot.

Silly me.

They're not here.

- Where are they?

- My friend Ray Ray has them.

He's fitting them for their clothing.

- When will he be back?

- Not 'til much later.

Come by tomorrow

and I'll have all three of 'em for you to see.

- Are you fucking with me, Sybil?

♪ Do that thing, do that thing

♪ Do that thing, do that thing

- Father?

- Yes?

- May I speak with you?

- Oh, I'm actually running late for my-

- This is important.

- Well, I guess I can spare a few moments.

- Father, how long have you been a member of the clergy?

- Oh, for the better part of about 15 years now. Why?

- In those 15 years have you ever seen

anything out of the ordinary?

- Such as?

- For instance, subjects unknown,

the paranormal,

possessed killer dolls?

- No. No.

I thought I recognized your voice.

Lady- - Listen to me.

Something very dark sided is unfolding.

- Killer toys?

Yeah. I remember.

Lady, my advice to you stands.

You really need to get your mental health examined.

Okay?

Dolls cannot commit bloody murder.

- These can.

I've seen it with my own eyes.

And worse yet they're about to unleash toy hell upon us.

- Toy hell?

- You have to believe me.

- Tell you what, give me your phone number and address.

Okay?

- Thank you so much.

We're running out of time.

- I wanna recommend you to Father Bailey.

He's a great psychiatrist.

- I don't need a psychiatrist.

I need an exorcist.

Surely you know one.

- An exorcist?

Ma'am, in the history of my priesthood,

I have never seen

nor even heard of possessed, demonic dolls.

- Well, you've heard it now. Okay?

Not only is that doll possessed

but the fella that sent me the doll is possessed too.

- Lady, I really think you just need to-

- Forget it. Okay?

I'll take care of it myself.

But don't say I didn't warn you

when they burn this place to the ground.

- Sybil?

Baby Oopsie, is that you?

Come on out.

I wanna get a look at the world's most amazing doll.

- Oh, sorry about that.

- No problem.

I was just leaving.

- Is Ms. Pittman home?

- No, I'm just the housekeeper.

She isn't here.

- I'm Detective Klink.

Do you have a moment for me to ask you a few questions?

- No, I'm sorry.

I don't have any time.

I have another house I have to clean.

Goodbye.

- Hey, honey.

- Ray Ray, you got them dolls?

- I sure do.

I have a big surprise to tell you.

I cast a locomotion spell on 'em

and they sprung right into action.

- What do you mean?

- I mean, Earl has delivered his last package.

- Earl?

- Yes. Overnighted to an early grave.

- Great!

Why don't you bring those dolls back to my house?

I need to make a few tweaks.

- Sure thing.

Toy hell is upon us.

- Why don't you come over for supper tonight, Ray Ray?

- Will do.

Praise Satan.

I'll see you tonight.

- About the time you came to your senses

- You have got to quit doing that.

- Shut down Ray Ray's operation and I will.

Duh.

I'm stuck in purgatory, you moron.

The sooner you stop all this bullshit,

the sooner I get to pass go.

So pull your head outta your ass and make it happen.

The pearly gates are awaiting, sister.

- Father Glover, excuse me, but do you have a moment?

- Of course, Father McGavin what is it?

- Well, I have kind of an odd question for you.

Have you ever found yourself

dealing in the subject of...

Well, demonic possession?

- Not for some time.

The notion of true possession

is considered archaic these days.

- Right. I understand.

So you've never heard of physical objects being possessed?

- Objects?

- Toys specifically in this case.

- Have you been hitting the rectory wine, McGavin?

- No, sir. I assure you, no, no.

It's just that I was a conducting confessional

and a woman came in and she claims

that she's been tormented by

a demonic doll.

- God bless her.

I assume you recommended a good shrink?

- Oh yes, yes, of course. Yes.

You're probably right.

Thank you for your time.

- You can always go down to the archives and have a look.

Years ago we moved many of the outdated tomes down there.

Some of those books may offer insight

into the church's misinterpretation of evil.

If nothing else, you might have a good laugh.

- Right.

Thanks again, Father.

- Mommy. - Ray Ray!

- Let us out, Daddy. - Just in time for dinner.

- Sorry. I'm late.

The devil's work is never done.

- You can say that again. - Prince of darkness.

- Look, why don't you take them down to the basement

and I'll finish setting the table, okay?

- Okay, honey. - No, I want to do something.

- Goldfish crackers. - Get me out of here.

I want some pork and beans.

- Toy master.