Original subtitles

So, The Centre will be closing a little earlier than usual,

six o'clock, which give us all an hour to get changed

before we meet down in Reception for drinks.

All of which is being kindly organised by -- Laura.

Yes, anyway, we have 40 minutes for drinks, and a few eats and nibbles.

Also organised by -- Laura.

I think now's as good a time as any to show our appreciation.

You're very kind, thank you.

So we have to leave by 7:15, which brings me to the car roster.

Do you want to do this, Mr. Brittas?

I don't think anyone could do it half as well

as you're doing it, Laura, please, carry on.

Right, okay, it is a little complicated,

so I suggest you take a careful look at it.

Linda, on the outward journey,

Mr. Brittas was hoping you'd be able to take Carole and her partner.

Ah yes, Carole's partner,

if I may interject here, please, Laura.

Now, some of you are probably aware

that Carole does not actually have a partner at the moment.

So if anyone knows of someone who could accompany her this evening,

perhaps an elderly person who doesn't get out too much.

I mean, we don't anyone feeling left out

or unwanted just because they don't have any friends, now do we?

Yes, Gavin?

Why can't she go on her own, Mr. Brittas?

This is a dance, Gavin, obviously she's gotta take someone,

and besides which, they're double tickets.

Oh, right.

Well, I haven't got one.

You wish to say something, Timothy?

I was just saying I don't have a partner.

Why, what's wrong?

Well, it's not always that easy, Mr. Brittas.

Gavin, this is a Southern Area Leisure Centre staff gala ball,

you've got to take a partner, he can't wander about on his own.

He could come with me.

What?

Well, as it happens, I don't have a partner either.

What is wrong with you boys?

Well, I think it's a good idea to go together.

I don't mind if Timmy doesn't.

Well I do!

This evening is supposed to be for staff and their guests.

You've gotta take a partner.

Why should he be the only one who's not taking a partner?

What is it, Linda?

I didn't realise we had to bring someone.

Oh, good grief!

But I could ask Edward, I'm sure he'd come.

We were at school together.

Thank you, Linda.

See that wasn't difficult.

Why can't you do that, Tim?

Well, Edward's already going with Linda.

This is serious, Tim.

This is one of the few occasions in the year

when we have the opportunity to bond together as an adhesive social group,

and we're not gonna do a lot of bonding if there's no one to bond with, are we, now?

I'm sorry I'm late, Mr. Brittas. -Sit down, Colin.

Only I had a bit of trouble getting someone to come to this dance.

To be quite honest, I drew a few blanks to begin with,

but I think I've cracked it now.

4:30 this morning, it suddenly came.

I don't think anyone's particularly interested

in the details of your social life, Colin.

I am. Who've you got, Colin?

Well, there's this new milk lady on our estate

and we have occasionally spoken,

and I suddenly thought, why not?

You've asked the milk lady?

I left a message in one of the bottles.

And this morning, along with an extra pint,

there was a little message saying,

"Thank you, I accept gratefully."

Now, this isn't the one with the sideburns, is it?

Well, as a matter of fact, she has got...

Does anyone mind if we get back to the business in hand, please?

This meeting is to make sure that we all have

an enjoyable, relaxing and above all, fun-filled time, this evening, alright?

Now, Laura, you were telling us about the car roster?

I still say something's going on.

I cannot believe it, Tim.

Oh, you saw him at the meeting, Colin,

he's up to something.

"I don't think any of us could do it half as well as you, Laura."

Making us all clap to show our appreciation.

Mr. Brittas is a happily married man.

He wouldn't do a thing like that. Julie will know.

Know what?

Tim is suggesting that there's something going on between Laura and Mr. Brittas.

Oh!

What's he up to, Julie?

Well, it's probably nothing.

Of course it's nothing.

All I know is, that ever since his wife went on holiday,

he's been spending every evening 'round at her house.

Every evening?

He says he's doing the garden.

I knew it!

I cannot believe that a man with Mr. Brittas's personal integrity

is having an improper relationship with, Laura!

Ah, I wonder if anyone's got time to mop up a floor?

Right, if you're all too busy, I'll do it myself.

No, no, we were just indulging in a bit of idle gossip, weren't we, Julie?

What's the problem?

Oh, just some blood on the second floor landing, Colin.

Mr. Brittas has been giving his marriage guidance classes again.

So, what's the gossip?

Well...

It was nothing really. -Just a rumour.

What sort of rumour?

A particularly foolish one, if I may say so, Laura,

with no substance in reality whatsoever.

Laura, Mr. Brittas says, can you go up to his office?

He wants to give you some flowers.

I told you.

Oh, Laura!

I think I've done it.

Done what?

I put an advertisement in the paper this morning

and it's worked!

"Man wanted as dinner-dance partner

by young, attractive, professional career woman."

That's me.

Oh, right.

But then you go on to give your name, age, address

and two telephone numbers.

Someone answered, Laura!

I've got a partner.

Yeah, I think you want to be a bit careful, Carole.

You don't know what sort of man...

But I do know him, Laura, that's the whole thing!

You do?

He was my very first real boyfriend when I was just 16.

Oh, we were so much in love.

We even got engaged.

But my mother made me give back the ring.

She said I could do better

than the son of a rag and bone man.

But then this morning, he saw my name in the paper

and he wondered if I was the same Carole Parkinson he had loved all those years ago.

He never married, you see!

Well, that's wonderful, Carole,

I'm very happy for you.

Are those for me?

Oh yes, I'm sorry...

Mr. Brittas did leave a message for you.

Well, several actually.

At 10:47, would you ask Laura

if she can spare me a moment to come and see me?

10:43, if she's available,

could I please have a word with Laura?

10:52, could Laura pop up to my office, please, no hurry,

it's nothing urgent.

Thank you.

If anyone wants me, I'll be up with Mr. Brittas.

Yes, well, thanks for looking.

If you could just say it was her husband calling again.

Oh, by the way, did you look in the bar?

Right, thanks, bye.

News from Helen?

Not a lot. Every time I call her,

the hotel just say she's gone out.

Yes, apparently this morning she's gone lobster-potting

with someone called Garth.

Still, she's back tomorrow, isn't she?

Yes, she's driving back...

That's a very good point, Laura.

Julie, could you bring me in the car roster for a moment, please?

I'm busy!

Thank you, Julie.

Now, I've got something for you.

It's a packet of seeds.

They were giving them away at the building society.

I thought some of those scattered around your arbour

might look quite nice in a few months' time.

Yes, lovely, thank you.

Oh, that reminds me.

I picked up the photos this morning,

to remind you of all your hard work.

Right.

Yes, that's not bad, is it?

Yes, look at that.

That looks wonderful.

I'm really grateful, Mr. Brittas.

It's not every girl who gets an arbour built in return for a few omelettes.

Rather good omelettes, if I may say so, Laura.

They've been a bit of a treat for me.

I don't want to sound disloyal, but,

cooking's never really been Helen's strongest suit.

Well, have a drink, you deserve it.

I've enjoyed it, I really have.

You know, sometimes when Helen's away with the children, I get a bit lonely,

but this past week has been, well, really satisfying.

Here's to feeling satisfied.

Indeed, bottoms up.

I tell you what, why don't you take a seat

on the edge there, go on?

What?

On the edge, sit on the edge.

Right, how do you work this contraption?

There we go.

Whoops a daisy!

There we are.

I'll tell you what, Laura,

could you just shove up a bit, yeah?

Oops, careful!

Came out rather well, didn't it?

Yes, it did rather.

You can keep that one, if you like. -Could I?

Little memento of all your expertise.

Yes.

Oh, what's this, then?

Just a private photograph, Julie.

What d'you want with car roster, then?

Well, I've just realised that my car will not be available this evening.

I'm not typing it out again!

Unfortunately, our vehicle is still with Mrs. Brittas

down in Cornwall, so I and my partner will need two places in someone else's car.

Just a minute. I thought you said Mrs. Brittas was in Cornwall?

Obviously I shall be escorting another person, Julie.

Gotta keep the numbers right.

So, who's this other person?

That other person will be Laura.

How big are they?

Well, I'm a 36 double D.

No, no, I'm wearing tights at the moment.

I find them more comfortable.

Oh, alright, I'm sorry.

Not at all, goodbye.

Another reply to your advert, Carole?

Someone doing a medical survey, apparently.

They seemed to be asking some very personal questions.

Well, it's someone to talk to, isn't it?

To be honest, it's nice that someone actually listens to what one says.

So often I find myself talking away,

and nobody's taking a blind bit of notice, and sometimes,

Colin?

Michael? Michael, is it really you?

Hi, Colin, Carole.

What are you doing here?

Well, I...

You've come to see Laura. haven't you? -Well, if I can.

Of course you can. -She's on foot bath duty at the moment.

Just you wait here.

I'll go and tell her.

She'll be so thrilled!

You think she'll be thrilled, Carole?

Oh, you reckon she never wants to see me again.

Those are the sort of things she said when she threw those things at you.

I was hoping she'd forgotten about that.

I don't think so.

She still has the "I don't trust men" badge on her locker.

I made a mistake, Carole.

I want to try again.

It's only recently I've come to realise just how much I need her.

Oh, I know what you mean, Michael.

I made a mistake myself with someone very special.

Sometimes if we're very lucky,

that special someone can give us a second chance.

Boss.

Thanks, pal, been waiting a long time for this.

Here, get yourself a taxi.

I'll see you back at the yard tomorrow.

And this time, Carole Parkinson,

I won't take no for an answer.

So hopefully he's going to be here around lunchtime.

Does that biscuit belong to anyone?

Oh, you mean Emily's rusk?

She fell asleep when she was halfway through it,

and I haven't had a chance...

You're not hungry, are you Michael?

It's been a couple of days.

But that's awful!

Go straight up to the canteen and get something to eat.

I can't get anything to eat, Carole,

I haven't got any money.

No money, but you've got millions!

Billions, but not any more.

The old man cut me off.

We had a disagreement.

Oh, but that's awful, what about?

Shoes, mostly.

Shoes?

Well, it was late on a Saturday night,

and the old man starts laying down the law

about how only tight-assed Englishmen wear laces.

So I quietly put him straight with a few statistics

and he starts shouting.

Says - "What do you know about the shoe business?"

And then he tells me to get a job.

And I think, you know, I don't need this, just because he pays my allowance.

So, I quit.

Oh, I think that's very brave of you, Michael.

Yeah, anyway, sitting out on the street, I thought,

you know, if I'm gonna have to live without money,

the one person I might be able to do it with is Laura.

I see.

So if your daughter's finished with that rusk...

Oh, don't be so silly, Michael!

I can lend you some money for food!

In fact, I'll take you upstairs and cook it myself.

Oh, I couldn't take money from you, Carole,

Yes, yes, yes! -No, no, no!

This is enough, is it?

Oh!

You're quite right. Have it all!

I'll settle with Ben later. I'll just write a note to Colin

to tell him where we are, and you come with me.

It's this way.

Scuse me, miss, where's the restaurant?

It's up the stairs, third on the right,

second on the left, and don't have anything with fish in it.

Scuse me!

Colin!

What's the meaning of this, Colin?

Sorry. Mr. Brittas?

Bend down Colin.

Pardon?

Bend down, Colin, and look at the floor from this angle.

Now, tell me what you see, Colin.

What do I see?

What you see, Colin, is a wet floor.

Think.

Right, Mr. Brittas.

What if a disabled person came round that corner

slightly too fast, lost control of his wheelchair,

slid across the floor,

and jammed two fingers up the electric socket?

That would be terrible, Mr. Brittas.

Which is why we have warning signs.

That's what I went downstairs to get.

And I'm afraid I got distracted by this message.

You're not paid to get distracted, Colin,

not when there's a potentially lethal floor

unmarked by danger signs. Go and get them now.

Right, Mr. Brittas, I'll give Laura her message later.

I should've realise this was far more important.

Colin?

Yes, Mr. Brittas?

You have a message for Laura?

A rather important one actually, but that's no excuse.

I can see that now.

What sort of message?

Her husband's arrived.

What, Farrell? Michael T. Farrell?

He's downstairs in Reception waiting to speak to her.

What for? He knows perfectly well how she feels about him.

I think he rather wanted to try...

I don't care what he wants.

I'm not gonna have someone like that pestering a member of my staff.

Go and find him, take him straight up to my office,

and don't take any arguments, Colin.

Right, Mr. Brittas,

I'll just get the signs first in case a disabled person...

Forget about this, Colin, just go get Farrell,

I'll find Laura.

Excuse me? -l am rather busy.

No, it's just there doesn't seem...

If you've got a complaint, put it in the box.

What?

In the box, just like everyone else.

You see, over here, we have a suggestion box

and what you do, is you take this, put it in there,

and I deal with it as soon as I'm allowed a spare moment.

Sunny side up for the egg, Michael?

And not broken this time, if possible?

Right, I'll just go and do another one.

So, you're here to make things up with Laura?

Yeah, that's the idea.

Yes.

Something wrong?

No, no, it's a very good idea.

It's just...

Don't tell me, she's got someone else.

Well... !

Oh shoot, who is he?

Well, it's nothing definite,

she's just been spending rather a lot of time with...

One particular person.

Is it serious?

Well, flowers, dinner,

goes round to her house every evening.

If that's serious.

It's more serious than I've ever been.

What's he like, this guy?

Well, he's not everybody's idea of fun.

He's hard working, honest, trustworthy. That sort of thing.

Yeah, one of those.

She's always had a hankering for that type.

Well, maybe you'll be able to talk her round.

Yeah, maybe.

Well, did you find her, Colin?

Bad news, I'm afraid, Mikey.

She won't see me?

Mr. Brittas wants you, in his office.

Okay, well, I'll just finish this.

I'm afraid my orders are to take you up there now,

by force, if necessary.

Come in.

Ah, it's you.

Gordon, good to see ya.

Sit down, Mr. Farrell.

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave The Centre.

Not now, I've got a couple of things to say to you first.

Alright.

Number one, word has reached me

that you've been borrowing money off our receptionist.

Well, strictly speaking, it was a guy called Ben.

Ben is a three-year-old child, Mr. Farrell,

and Carole is not much better.

It wasn't a lot.

It was to Ben. That was gonna be his Christmas money.

I'd be grateful if you'd reimburse him at your earliest convenience.

And B, I gather you want to see my deputy manager.

Yes.

May I ask why?

It's kinda personal.

Mr. Farrell, the last time you came here,

correct me if I'm wrong, your wife, your estranged wife,

made it very clear to you

she wanted nothing further to do with you.

Yeah, I know...

And that was when you had a considerable income

and expectations of inheriting even more.

You have neither of those things now, do you?

That's right.

Yes, well, she's not going to look at you, is she?

All you're gonna do is upset her,

not to mention friends, some very close friends, she has made on the staff.

What are you gonna say to her?

I thought I'd start by asking her to this dance this evening.

What?

Well, some of the guys were talking about it, and I thought...

You can't do that!

Why not?

Well, it's for couples.

I am a couple. Laura's my wife.

Only in the technical, legal sense.

Anyway, it's black tie. You can't come without a dinner jacket.

Well, that's lucky, because

that was the one thing I remembered to pick up before I left.

Look, Farrell, it's not gonna work.

You've gotta get it into your head.

She's not going to take you back, ever.

I got a message, Mr. Brittas, that you wanted...

Hi, Laura.

Sorry to spring this on you, Laura.

I was hoping you wouldn't have

to go through this nonsense again.

I've been telling him he's wasting his time.

Michael, what are you doing here?

I came to see you.

He's lost all his money.

What?

It's a long story. It's kinda complicated.

He wants to sponge off you, Laura.

Could we talk somewhere?

I don't advise it. Tell him to get out. I did.

Please, can we just have a bit of time?

Alright, five minutes.

I'll wait outside.

Two blasts if you need me, Laura.

Thank you, Mr. Brittas.

Hello? Hello?

I just...

Aha, this'll get you.

I'm so sexy

Scuse me? Hello?

You're always complaining when I do that.

Shh, Julie, this is important!

I can't hear anything.

Yes, it has gone rather quiet, hasn't it?

Get out the way, Julie.

Laura, if there's a prob...

One last one, out, get out!

I told you, Carole. Nothing's gonna keep us apart this time! Nothing.

Nothing!

I'm coming, Carole!

I'm coming!

Yes, I'm trying to locate a Mr. Ronald Sudbury

He's left.

No, it's not important, it's just, he said

he might be here by lunchtime and it's now...

Oh, look, it doesn't matter.

Thank you very much, goodbye.

I'll need a shovel, Carole.

Oh, yes, of course, Mrs. Brittas.

And a couple of bin liners, if you can spare them.

God, what a journey!

Four children, projectile vomiting non stop from St Austell.

Oh dear, were they ill?

I think it was the crab they ate yesterday.

Oh, you have to be so careful in restaurants, don't you?

Oh, they'd've been fine in a restaurant.

This was a dead one they found on the beach.

And then when I finally get here, I discover the dog.

I mean, what sort of a person ties their animal

to the back of somebody else's car?

A dog?

Why didn't he bark or something?

That's the trouble with these guide dogs,

they're too bloody well trained.

You've run over a guide dog in the car park?

Oh, don't worry, not here. St Austell.

I wondered what the bumping was.

Anyway, Gordon can scrape it off, I've had enough.

He's in his office, is he?

Yes, he is, he's talking to...

And he particularly said he did not want to be disturbed.

But as it's you, I'm sure it's fine.

You're taking him back?

Yes.

But why?

I mean, you're intelligent, quite attractive.

Fairly neatly-turned out.

Thank you.

I mean, you could have anyone, anyone you wanted

and you chose him.

I don't understand it.

It's because I love him.

I know it would be much easier if I didn't,

if I loved someone honest, hard working, trustworthy,

but I love Michael.

But he's been unfaithful.

More than once.

He's promised not to do it again.

And you believe him, do you?

Well, all I can say is, he doesn't deserve it.

When I think of all the people struggling through life

without the advantages he had,

trying to hold down a job,

live honestly, not take money from small children,

and what do they get?

I'll tell you what they get.

Helen!

I can't take any more, Gordon,

I've had enough. I've had it up to here.

You're supposed to be down in Cornwall!

Well, I'm not, am I?

I've just driven 300 miles

with two children being sick in a bag,

another one trying to eat it,

and the fourth screaming at me

because I won't play magnetic Scrabble with him.

You can take over now,

and you can start by getting rid of this.

We weren't expecting you back 'til tomorrow.

Well, it was meant to be a surprise.

Surprise?

I wanted to go to the dance with you, didn't I?

I knew how important you think it is to have a partner.

And so I...

Here I am!

Welcome back, Helen.

Hello Laura, sorry if I'm a bit...

Someone's been sick in this.

Only partly. Most of it went in the cassette player.

I'll go down to the children, shall I?

Oh, would you, Laura, thanks,

oh, try not to let them see the dog, though!

Dog?

Oh, not now, Gordon.

Let me get cleaned up a bit first.

God, it smells in here.

I told you, Carole, I'm coming.

I'm coming!

Carole, oh, I may be a bit longer, hang on!

Get you another, Colin?

Cheers, Pauline!

You two?

No, thank you.

I think we're in for a fun evening, eh?

Smashing girl, that.

And what an outfit, eh?

You know, she loves dressing up.

Yes.

Colin?

Yes, Laura?

You do know?

What?

Nothing.

Have a potato chip.

Mr. Brittas, I'd like you to meet Edward.

Who?

Edward. This is Mr. Brittas, my boss.

Pleased to meet you.

I've heard a lot about you.

This is your boyfriend?

Yes.

I thought you said you were taking someone you knew from school?

I am.

He was my headmaster.

We came together through a shared interest in sailing.

Yes, that and the netball.

Yes, of course.

If you'll just excuse me, please.

Would you believe it, eh?

What?

My staff and their guests.

I mean, there's Laura with her lounge lizard,

there's Linda and Grandpa Moses over there,

and Colin, I mean, have you seen who Colin brought?

Gordon, you mustn't tell him.

You haven't told him, have you?

You'd ruin his evening.

I suppose it's marginally better than Gavin and Tim

who couldn't be bothered to bring anyone.

Or Julie and her man. -Oh, I haven't seen him yet.

Well, you won't, he parked a brand new BMW outside,

and promptly got nicked by the fuzz for car theft.

I don't think there's a normal couple here.

Except us, of course.

And as for Carole.

Just a few more seconds, my darling!

Wait for me!

Here I come, Carole, wait for me!

See you on the ice, Mr. Brittas!

Possibly.

You can't go out like that, you'll get soaked.

I don't think so, Gordon.

Rain seems to have stopped.

So it has, and look!

There's a rainbow!

Come on, Carole, you can't stand there all night.

Just a few more minutes, Mr. Brittas.

Just in case he's been delayed.

He hasn't been delayed, Carole, he's not coming, is he?

But he did say on the phone, Mr. Brittas.

Face it, Carole,

if he wanted to be here, he'd be here.

Obviously this wasn't as important to him as it is to you.

It's just I, I know, I'm sure you're right,

it's just, I sort of hoped.

There are some things in life you just can't have.

You gotta make the best of what you've got.

Oh, Colin and Pauline are giving us a lift in the milk float,

they're just clearing the empties off the back.

Coming with us, are you, Carole?

Yes, I suppose I am, Mrs. Brittas.

It's starting to rain again!

Come on, let's party!

Carole!