All language subtitles for s3-4 enthetye

(BRITTAS) And finally, every visitor to
our centre on this special day,

will receive one of these...
(TOY TRUMPET)

a paper hat, a sparkler, a balloon

(BALLOON BURSTS)

and a special anniversary badge,
which has a spike on the back of it.

Sorry, Mr. Brittas...

Now, these items will be
presented in a special anniversary

Whitbury fun-bag, which will serve

as a souvenir of what I'm sure
will be a memorable day.

You're sure about the badge?
-Pardon?

I just wondered if it was
a good idea, in view of the misprint.

What misprint?
-Well, mine says,

"I've been to Whitbury Leisure Centre
and swum in the poo."

So does mine!
-It's on Linda's as well!

That is pool.
-It's on all of 'em!

It says "pool." The L's just got
pushed round the corner a little bit.

Well, it definitely says "poo" on mine!

It's perfectly clear what
it's meant to say, Julie.

We know that, Mr. Brittas.
It's just a bit embarrassing to wear!

We've had 5,000 printed.
We wear them, right?

Now, visitors get presented

with this fun-bag when they
come through Reception.

But the most important thing
they get is what, Carole?

Sorry, Mr. Brittas?

What is the most important thing
our visitors get when they come in?

Oh, a smile, Mr. Brittas.

And perhaps we could have
a little example, Carole?

I'm sorry, Mr. Brittas. It's the
twins, they never seem to stop feeding.

Alright Carole...

I've got these two cracked nipples.
and I can't do anything with them.

Just do the best you can,
will you please, Carole?

So, today we have a busy schedule.
We have the kiddies' party,

the pig roast, the fireworks,
the swimming gala...

You're planning to use
the pool then, are you, Mr. Brittas?

It's a bit difficult to have
a swimming gala without it, Colin.

In that case you'll probably want
to do something about the heating.

What's wrong with the heating?
-There isn't any. We've run out of oil.

That's impossible! We had
a delivery on Thursday.

Bit of a mystery that one, Mr. Brittas.

Why didn't anyone tell me?
Alright, to your places everyone!

Please, let's try and look
as if we're enjoying ourselves.

No, tomorrow is not good
enough! Nor is this afternoon.

I need 350 gallons of domestic
heating fuel and I need it now!

Within the hour please.
Thank you...I heard that!

Oh, Mr. Brittas, these gentlemen
were enquiring about membership

to the Privilege Club.

Were they indeed? Splendid!

I think you'll find it has
several advantages, quite apart

from the members' bar and toilet.

Forms please, Carole.
-Yes, but er...

I don't know if my
receptionist explained,

but due to tightening of security,

we do require two separate
pieces of identification.

Oh yes, we've got those.
-And the passport photos!

Excellent! Just the forms
then please, Carole.

It is both of you I take it?
-Actually, there's thirty-six of us.

Thirty-six?
-Yes, we've brought a party.

From Guildford.
-We've come over for the day.

And you all want to join?
-If that's alright?

It certainly is. In fact,
I can help you out a bit there.

You see, anything over thirty-five is
technically speaking a coach party.

so I'll need just the one
form, a Q17 please Carole,

to be filled in by the group leader, and
that covers membership for all of you.

Ah! Suddenly realised, we're actually
only going to be thirty-four.

Are we?
-Ian and Christine weren't well, remember?

They wanted to stay on the coach.
-Oh yes.

We'll have to fill in the individual
forms after all, I'm afraid.

Well, I don't want to inconvenience
you if you've come all the way...

No, no, we quite understand.
-Rules are rules, after all.

Mr. Brittas! We haven't
got thirty-four forms.

Ben spilt his Ribena and it seeped
through from the drawer above.

Well, get Julie to run off some
more please, Carole, will you?

Now, I don't know if you've
seen the programme of events board...

Thank heavens I've found you!

What is it, Colin?
-I've found what's happened to the oil.

What?
-Gordon?

Just one moment, my darling.
What's happened to the oil?

There's a little hole in the tank.
Linda's got her finger in it

at the moment
but it's been leaking away.

Gordon, Horatio's outside.
He just wants to say goodbye.

He said goodbye this
morning, my darling.

Well, I suppose he
wants to say it again.

Well, I'm rather tied
up at the moment...

How long's it been leaking for?

Linda reckons it's about
one pint every five minutes.

So if there were three hundred
gallons, that would mean...

I'd better take a look, Colin.
-But what about Horatio, Gordon?

Two minutes, my darling.

Hello Helen, time for a coffee?

He said two minutes.
Time for several I'd have thought...

I'm on to a thumb now, Mr. Brittas,
but it's still getting through.

It's only two years old.
How can it have a hole in it?

It's rust Mr. Brittas, from the pub.

The where?
-The pub!

You see, this is short of a shortcut
from the Wheatsheaf to the town centre.

Colin, what are you burbling about?

Well, that's what causing the rust.
They've had a few pints of lager, you see,

and this is the first
private spot they come to.

I should imagine it's a great relief!

Linda, that oil is
leaking out onto the ground.

Well, I don't want to touch it if...

Linda, do you realise what will happen
if that stuff soaks into the water-table?

The damage to the local ecology?

Small children poisoned from
inadvertently drinking the water

while swimming in the canal? To say
nothing of the waste to one of the

earth's most valuable
and dwindling resources.

Linda, stick your thumb in it.

Yes, Mr. Brittas.

Right Colin, I want
you to get a bucket,

collect any remaining
oil that comes out.

I'll go and ring someone to make a repair.
When that's done, I want you to pour

the oil back into the top. Alright?
-Right, Mr. Brittas.

Don't be long, will you, Colin?

They're very alike, aren't they?
-Who?

Mr. Brittas and his brother.

They may not look like twins

but they have a very
similar outlook, don't they?

Do they?
-Yes.

The Reverend Brittas has
a dream too, you know.

Not another one?
-No, no, it's the same one apparently.

He was telling me about it yesterday
after he blessed the new vaulting horse.

They worked it all out together
when they were children.

Oh, I could have coped normally, Laura.

Even with two of them I could
have coped, but it's just

I'm under quite a lot of strain at the
moment, managing without the pills.

Doctor's told me to cut
down while I'm pregnant.

Ohh.
-God knows why.

I'd have thought a good supply
of Valium in the bloodstream

was just what a baby
in our house needed.

Still, Horatio's going this
afternoon. Four-thirty, Heathrow.

I booked the taxi two
hours early, just in case.

What's he planning to do there exactly?
-Where?

In the Lebanon?

Oh, I'm not really sure. Just sort
things out, I think, politically.

Gordon says it's a very
exciting challenge. He thinks

it's high time someone went out there
and banged a few heads together!

Are you sure it's a good idea?

I think it's vital, Laura.
I'll go mad otherwise.

He's got to go today.
-No, no, I meant going to the Lebanon.

Oh, I think so.
It's a sort of promotion.

He's going to be Dean of Beirut.

I'll look forward to reading about it.

Excuse me...

Oh Horatio, you've
seen Gordon, have you?

Er, no. He hasn't come back yet.

Oh, I'd better take you to
his office then, hadn't I?

We don't want you missing your flight.

Good luck, Mr. Brittas.
-Sorry?

Just wanted to wish you
good luck, in the Lebanon.

Oh, that...yes, thank you.

Come on then.

Yellow Pages, please Carole.
-Yes, Mr. Brittas.

Perhaps you could help sort this out?
-l am rather busy at the moment.

We got a few problems with
the lunches, Mr. Brittas.

What?
-I'm afraid three of us are vegetarians.

And there are two vegans
as well, if that's possible?

Well, as long as the kitchens have the
details in writing before 11 o'clock.

In writing. Thought it'd have to be.

Could I just ring down, Mr. Brittas?

Safer to fill in a
form I think, Carole.

Saves confusion in the long-run.

Yes, it's just that Ben
had a bit of a runny tummy

and the forms are a little well...

Ah, here we are, Whitbury Welders.

I'll ring down,
see if Julie's got some more.

We were also wondering if you could
possibly find time to talk to us?

Sorry?
-As a group, some time in the day.

If you were free.

Talk to you? What about?
-Well, anything really.

That's up to you. Health, safety...
-Your management philosophy...

Your dreams, perhaps?
-If you have any?

Just one moment, please.

Well, I might be able to
organise something, but not now.

I'm actually dealing
with a slight emergency.

An emergency?
-You mean like a crisis?

There's nothing to be
alarmed about at this stage.

Just one of those small things
that has to be dealt with now,

before it grows into
something more serious.

Well, you carry on with your emergency,
that's much more important.

Indeed. Ah, hello.

Whitbury Welders? Excellent.

I'd like someone to repair
an oil tank, please.

Can I help you at all?

Yeah. That should see you
through the weekend, mate.

What?
-350 gallons.

There's a surcharge I'm afraid,
for special delivery.

You've put 350 gallons of oil in there?

There's your receipt.
-Well, we don't want it!

Well, it ain't what your boss said.
-Mr. Brittas?

He was very insistent.
-Oh, I see.

Will we need any more buckets, Colin?

Quite a few I should think, Linda.

Sorry Horatio,
it's just one of those days.

Julie gave you a coffee, I hope?

She said she was too busy.

Right. So, you wanted to talk?

Yes.

Helen said there was something
you wanted to ask me?

Yes.
-Well?

It's just I've been thinking...
-Good. Good.

Gordon?
-Yes?

Have you ever wondered all
the things you believed in,

all the dreams you had, all the ideas
which you based your life on were...

were, well, wrong?

No.

You've never thought that maybe, possibly,
although what you wanted to do

was make things better, make people
happier, what you actually did

was to make things worse?
Quite often a lot worse.

No.

I shouldn't have bothered you.
You've got all your celebrations today...

Hang on a minute. Do I sense
a certain undercurrent here?

It's not important.
Honestly, I know you're...

You're trying to tell me
something, aren't ya bruv?

It doesn't matter...
-Oh yes it does!

If there's something
bothering my brother.

I wanna be the first to know
about it. Come on, let's have it!

Hey, you know those lost property forms

that Brittas always tries
to get people to use?

Well, you're never gonna believe it!
Somebody's actually filled one in,

for a two pence coin
they found in the changing rooms.

You'd better put it with the rest.
-What? What's all this?

Lost property forms.
Thirty-three of them!

I don't believe it!
One piece of string?

Brackets, "possibly from a
child's swimming trunks?"

"One Opal Fruit, green. NB, possibly
should not be returned even if owner

comes forward due to location
found and possible health hazard."

What's going on?

It's that coach party from Guildford.
-They seem to like filling in forms.

I spent most of the morning running
off spares of everything we've got.

You know that notice
in reception that says

"The terms and conditions of
liability are available on request.

Well, they've all requested them!

One of them complained because
his was missing the page on

"What happens in the
event of an earthquake?"

Do you think they're here
to cause trouble?

(KNOCK) Sorry to disturb you...
-Yes?

We just wondered where Mr. Brittas was?
-I'm afraid he's busy, can we help?

It's just that we saw someone
trying the handle of a car

in the car park and we wondered
if the police should be called.

The police?
-Yes.

They did look rather suspicious.
-I think if Mr. Brittas knew...

That's alright, I'll check
it myself later, thank you.

You're right, troublemakers.

No, they're not. It's a competition.
-A what?

They are from the leisure centre in
Guildford, and this is their staff outing.

They chose to come here?
-God knows how they got onto it,

but they all have one of these.
-"I spy Brittas"

The one with the most
points gets a prize.

Do they get points for filling in forms?
-Yep, fifteen for each one.

Hey, and they get fifty points
if they get him to call in the police!

Oh, there's a page of gestures here.

You get five points if you
get him to do one of these...

you get ten points if he does this...

and a whole twenty points
if you get him to go like that...

This is brilliant!
We should have one of these!

There's a star bonus as well. You get
one hundred points if you get him to say.

Don't worry, I'm dealing with it!"

Sorry to trouble you again, it's just
the girl on the desk

has run out of forms for joining
the Friends of Whitbury Sports Hall.

Oh right, I'll get some for you.
There's also a supplementary form

if you want to be on the
mailing list for a newsletter.

Really?
-You want thirty-six of them, I suppose?

Well...

Just the two, please.
And could you not tell the others?

Is that the tank?
-What?

The one with the hole?
-Oh, thank goodness. Yes!

Fix it as soon as you can, please.

You want me to weld a patch on that?
-Oh yes, please.

We've used all the buckets.
This is the last of the milk bottles.

There's two hundred
gallons still in it, right?

Well, I think so. Linda thought there
might be a little bit more but...

Are you going?

Are you not gonna fix it?
-Strange isn't it? Call it instinct,

call it intuition, but there's something
about 200 gallons of heating fuel

and the naked
flame of a welding torch!

I've just gone right off the idea.

I see, you want us to empty it first!

Eh, now there's an idea!

Linda! Linda!
-Coming!

I think we're going to need
the margarine tubs after all.

You see, I want to help,
I want to make things better,

but if you look at the facts, what
actually happens is, things get worse.

You've gotta take the
broad overview, Horatio.

Six parishes in four years, Gordon.
All requesting I be transferred.

New ideas always generate hostility.
I've had the same reaction in this place.

It shouldn't be like that.
You know I get hecklers in my sermons?

I've had godparents try to
throttle me against a font!

3 weeks ago, someone fired a shotgun
at me just as I was announcing a hymn.

We all have little setbacks you know.

I'm just beginning to wonder
if I'm really up to the job.

Not up to the job? My brother?
Have you talked to anyone about this?

Yes I have, and they agreed!

They what?
-They said it was very sad,

but I was just one of
those unfortunate people

with an innate capacity to
get up other people's noses.

I don't believe it!
Who was this...this person?

The Bishop.

I asked him if there was anything
I could do about it, any sort of therapy.

But he said no, he didn't think so.

But what about your work?
What about the Lebanon?

Yes, well, that's what I've
come to tell you really.

What?
-I've decided not to go.

Not to go? I cannot believe I'm
hearing this, Horatio. All we ever...

What's that smell?
-What?

Smells like petrol. Don't go away.

Colin, what are you doing?
-Nearly finished, Mr. Brittas!

What's going on, Colin?
What have you got there?

It's the oil.
-Oil?

From the heating tank.

Good God! How much of this
stuff have you got in here?

370 gallons, Mr. Brittas.
It's been quite a job!

370! What's it doing in here?

Well, we couldn't leave it outside,
not with a thunderstorm forecast.

I mean, a bolt of lightning hits one
of these margarine tubs and whoomp!

Are you alright, Mr. Brittas?

I've brought his luggage, Gordon.
-Luggage?

Horatio's. I've asked the taxi
to come here instead of home.

Time's getting on and we don't want
him missing his flight, do we?

Ah, you haven't heard then?
-Heard what?

He may have decided not to go.

Who?
-Horatio, we've been talking it over.

Gordon, someone will be catching that
plane to the Lebanon this evening.

Just remember,
it'll be either him or me.

You can't go...

Ah Laura, a moment of your time...
-Yes, Mr. Brittas?

I wondered could you
quietly spread the word?

We have a quantity of heating fuel
upstairs in the old weights room.

Quantity? What sort of quantity?

It's about 370 gallons.
-What?

It's alright Laura, as long as
we take a few sensible precautions.

You can't be serious? Storing
heating oil inside the building?

There's no need to get hysterical.
What else can I do?

I can't put it back in the tank.
I can't leave it outside.

But it's a fire hazard.

It's only for a couple of hours, Laura.
What can happen in a couple of hours?

I'm just taking the fire-eater
up to the weights room.

Who?

Mr. Volcano for the children's party.
He wants somewhere to practice...

Outside please, Carole!
Preferably the other side of the car park.

Er, Gavin, where are
you going with that?

It's for the press photo, Mr. Brittas.
They wanted a picture of the cake.

We thought standing in front of
the machines in the old weights room.

Stay right where you are, please
Timothy and blow those candles out now.

What do you want me to do with
the fireworks, Mr. Brittas?

I thought they were safest
up in the weights room.

Right, nobody move!
Nobody move a muscle!

Laura, go to Colin and tell him to close
and lock the door of the weights room

and not let anyone within
fifty feet without my permission.

Yes, Mr. Brittas.

Those stairs are now out of bounds
until further notice. Understood?

(ALL) YES!

Right. Julie, come with me.

There's nothing wrong, is there?

What?
-We couldn't help overhearing...

Slight emergency, but don't
worry, I'm dealing with it.

(BOTH) Yes!

Fifty feet Colin, stay alert!
-Wilco, Mr. Brittas.

Well, where do you want them then?
-On the desk please, Julie.

And if you could make sure there are
no disturbances for the next half hour.

Right bruv...
-Yes?

You can put those down

and come over here.

Now, tell me if I'm
talking out of turn,

but I think it's about time
I reminded you of something.

Yes?

Of two young men starting
off in the world?

One going to theological college,

the other going to Loughborough
College of Physical Education.

Yes.
-And before they went, they wrote down

on a bit of paper what their
aims in life were gonna be.

I know.
-I've still got my copy.

On my paper it says,
"Working towards the dream."

Yes.

We had fourteen simple aims:

Setting up of a world government,

promoting team spirit,

building a sense of community and
belonging, join in with me,

abolition of crime, fairer
allocation of the world's resources,

a...
-a religious revival,

the end of war...

Rather a lot for one person, eh bruv?

Which is why we decided
to -- share the work.

Body and soul, Horatio.

I look after the body, the physical
side of our culture's development,

while you take-care of the...

Spiritual.
-Indeed!

Yes, I know we said that, Gordon
but, you don't think it's a bit silly?

The abolition of poverty, silly?

My goodness, the head's
fallen off your horse alright!

What?

Your rocking horse! It's fallen on
the floor of the nursery with a thump!

I don't quite understand.
-It's a metaphor, bruv!

All I'm saying, is at times
like this, you've got to remember,

there's room on my horse for two!

Get back! Get back for goodness' sake!
-What?

Mr. Brittas says no-one has to come
within fifty feet of this door!

Why? -Because of the oil.
He's worried it might catch fire.

Oh, I'll throw this away then.
-What?

This, it's just
the last bit of oil from the tank.

No, you can't do that! Remember
what he said about the water table?

You haven't got any naked
flames around you, have you?

What?
-Matches? Flints? Cap guns?

Er...no!
-Come on, come on!

It should be alright...

I'd like to believe you,
Gordon, I really would.

So why don't you?
-Well, it's just that you're...

Well, the same sort of things
happen to you, don't they?

What?

You try to draw people
together, the same as me.

But it never works out
like that, does it?

Helen...Helen's told me
about the murder attempts,

the petition in the local paper,
your togetherness classes being cancelled

because they take up
too much police time.

We have the odd trouble-maker,
Horatio, just like anyone else.

But, you can't judge a place by a couple
of headlines in the national press.

What matters, is what Mr. Squash
Court, Mr. Average Citizen thinks.

He knows what we're
doing's worth while.

Does he? If only I had
your faith, Gordon.

If only...if only He'd give
me a sign or something.

A sign? You mean like a comet
whooshing across the sky or something?

Well...

I'm afraid comets whooshing across the
sky are in rather short supply, bruv.

But I have a more practical suggestion.
-Yes?

Don't take Gordy's word for it.

Go and ask the ordinary people
who use this centre every day.

Ask them if they think
what we're doing is wrong.

If we ought to jack it in and go home.

I think you'll get a pretty dusty
answer and no mistake.

Go on. Ask them!
(FIREWORKS)

(FIREWORKS;

(FIREWORKS)

(EXPLOSION)

Excuse me?
-I'm sorry, yes?

Can I do anything for you?

I wondered...could you
give this to Mr. Brittas?

Yes, yes of course.

You'll make sure he gets it
before closing won't you?

Yes, yes I will.

It's the booking form for July.
-What?!

You see, you have to give
three months' notice for a coach party

otherwise he won't let you in.

You're coming back?

After this? Of course we are!
-But you're injured!

You've broken a collarbone.
-It'll heal.

It's all part of the experience, isn't it?
-All part of the Brittas magic!

Magic? You don't think
he should give up?

Give up?
-Don't let him do that!

He's the whole reason we come here.
-He has a dream ...did you know?

Yes...yes I did.

He wants to bring the people
of the world together.

You make sure he doesn't leave.
Don't let him give it up.

Oh look! Here he comes!

Three cheers for Mr. Brittas!

(ALL) Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

It's a good job we
weren't injured, eh, Gavin?

Yes, Mr. Brittas.

Don't worry Mrs, Roberts, I will get
someone to take Fido for a walk.

Horatio! With you as soon as I can.

I know your busy, Gordon. My taxi's
arrived. I just wanted to say goodbye.

Say goodbye?
-Yes. And thank you. -Oh?

I was feeling a bit down earlier,
I don't know if you noticed?

I did actually.

But today has helped me
get a few things straight.

Reminded me what it's really all about.

I hope you don't think
this is the norm?

You were right Gordon. My horse
had been shot from underneath me.

I was lying on the battlefield,

wounded and dying. But from the ranks
ahead, I heard a familiar voice...

Right?

Did you think I would
leave you dying?" it said

"when there's room on my horse for two?

Climb up here, we'll soon be
flying, back to the ranks so blue!"

Oh that!

It's a question of inner certainty.
-I suppose it is, yes.

Whatever happens, you have to
hold on to the things inside you.

You have to -- you have
to hold the dream.

Yeah, you do.

To the airport, driver.
I have a plane to catch!

Has he gone?
-Yes. Yes, he's gone. -Good!

Are you alright, Gordon?
-Fine, my darling. Absolutely fine.

It's so wonderful, isn't it? When...

when things go right.