Original subtitles

Up, and hold, and thrust, and together.

Oh!

Mr Brittas? Yes? I thought you'd like to know your piano's arrived.

Yes, yes, yes?

Yes, yes, yes,

yes, I'll tell him.

If you'd just like to take it straight through.

Sorry?

Down the end of the corridor to the far end of the gymnasium,

and if you could just pop it on the platform.

You just couldn't give me a hand down the step, could you?

Oh, right, yes.

I'll take this end, shall I? -Yeah.

Carole, are you sure you should be doing that?

Oh I'm sorry Laura, just that he was all on his own.

It's alright, I'll take care of it.

Thank you, thank you.

I'll be alright, I'll just catch me breath.

Well, you certainly took your time, didn't you?

Sorry?

I was told 10 o'clock, and it's...

What is this?

We think it's a piano, Mr. Brittas.

Laura, we have a man travelling all the way

from the Leningrad Conservatory

to give his first concert in the free world.

I think he deserves something better

than a throw out from the public bar of the "Dog and Duck"!

I was told I was gonna get a concert grand!

I'm very sorry, son...

Don't you "son" me, it's Mr. Brittas

to people who can't deliver the proper piano.

Right, Mr. Brittas.

Is anything wrong?

It's alright, my darling, with you in one moment.

Now did I ask for this piano?

Well, I... -No, I did not.

Gordon?

It's alright, darling.

I want you to put this heap back on your van, and get me a proper one.

Gordon, this is your father.

Dad, Dad!

What are you doing here, Dad?

I'm sorry if I've called at a bad time, Mr. Brittas.

This is my dad, everyone, I don't believe it! What are you doing with a piano?

It's for you, Gordon.

Your mother always wanted you to have it.

I won't have room for it you see,

not now I'm moving into the sheltered accommodation.

Are you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I took it round to your house, but...

But I said you'd much rather have it in your office.

Mum's old piano. Do you know she died while I was playing this?

Got all your music as well Gordon.

Our piano was burnt, wasn't it darling?

Yes, yes it was.

Unfortunately Helen took it out to the back garden to give it a good clean,

and accidentally spilled a bottle of white spirit all over it.

Here, what happened then darling?

We think it was a spark, from the neighbour's bonfire, don't we?

Yes, so it was.

By the time I got back from work, it was just a pile of ashes.

A piano again, that's wonderful dad.

Aw, glad you like it son.

So, this is the new place is it?

You've never been here, Mr Brittas? -No, no, no, I was hoping

Gordon might be able to show me around but,

I can see you probably wouldn't have the time.

Listen to him. Of course I have.

Always got time for me old dad.

I've just gonna make one, quick phone call.

We've got a concert on here tonight.

A concert?

Helen, I think a mug of tea

and a biscuit and I'll be with you in 5 minutes, alright?

That'll be grand, son. -The restroom, I think Helen.

Yeah.

This is Carole, our receptionist.

Salt of the earth, Laura.

Everything I am, I owe to that man.

I must remember to thank him, Mr. Brittas.

Julie, get those piano people on the phone. I want to know what's happening

I've already rung.

So where's my concert grand?

Nobody knows.

It's been stolen from the warehouse in Croydon.

What?

It's alright, they've found you another one,

they've had four men driving all night to bring it from Cardiff.

So why isn't here?

Get me that number.

Apparently, they broke down in Swindon, and had to carry the piano a mile and a half,

to where they could hire another van.

They've had quite a time by the sound of it.

But the man on the phone was very sorry.

Julie I'm afraid being sorry, isn't always good enough.

People do not spend good money on concert tickets, to watch a man being sorry.

Hello, yes Gordon Brittas.

Let me make my position perfectly clear.

In about three hours time

my gymnasium will be filled with several hundred people,

many of them tremendously influential,

expecting to hear a piano recital.

No, you listen to me...

It's arrived. -What?

The piano. They're just backing up the van to unload.

Not before time.

I don't believe it! Can't these people read?

Hello?

Yes, the van's outside.

Well he's just noticed they're using the disabled parking space.

Two days without sleep?

Well I'm sure Mr. Brittas will be careful what he says.

Piano's arrived.

Yeah I know. Do you wanna come and watch?

This should be good.

30 staff? Has he really got 30 staff?

I suppose it must be about that.

And all taking orders from my Gordon.

It's amazing innit?

I think so, yes.

He's certainly come a long way from Jellicoe Mansions, Romford.

You're very proud of him, aren't you Mr. Brittas?

Oh no complaints, Laura.

Both my boys have done well for themselves.

There's another one?

Oh yes.

Twins. -Gordon and Horatio.

I'd no idea.

Of course Horatio went into the Church.

Yes, you probably read about him in the paper, Laura.

The place where they had the knife fight, during the Menton vigil.

Sounds like a rough area.

Little Chubblington?

Wouldn't have thought so.

They're a generous community, though.

Raised a lot of money for missionary work.

Oh yes, that's the fund to send Horatio to Lebanon, isn't it dad?

That's the one.

Do you know what he's done now?

Gavin.

It's unbelievable.

He's refusing to take delivery of the piano

unless they can guarantee it's not made of Brazilian hardwood.

Gavin, this is Mr. Brittas' father.

That man is a complete idiot, I... What?!

This is my father in law, Gavin.

Mr. Brittas?

Jim, please.

Hello.

Some sort of problem is there?

Erm, no, nothing, just erm

somebody's upsetting the piano movers rather a lot.

Ah, tell you what I'd do.

What?

I'd get my Gordon onto that one.

He's your man for sorting things out.

That's it, is it?

We're just gonna leave it here are we?

Just because someone happens to care about the South American rainforests.

I wouldn't be surprised if that keyboard isn't ivory as well.

It's bad news I'm afraid, Mr. Brittas.

What? -About the flags.

I'm extremely busy Colin.

I managed to get the Union Jacks at Rumbelows.

But a Russian flag.... I've tried everywhere.

Well improvise Colin. Make one.

A hammer, a sickle and a piece of red cloth.

Just be grateful he's not from Paraguay.

You don't have to draw an armadillo or something.

Right Mr. Brittas.

The other thing was the shelves.

Colin, I have problems of my own at the moment.

Oh the piano's arrived.

Very observant Colin.

So, what's the problem?

The problem is how a visiting pianist from Leningrad

is gonna play a piano that's stuck on its side

in the middle of the main entrance.

I see.

Where's Gavin?

Ah there you are.

Oh ready when you are son.

Pardon?

I'll just finish this mug of tea, that young Helen so kindly made me.

You're gonna give your father a tour of the building, Gordon.

Yes, dad we're gonna have to put that one

on the back burner for a few more minutes, I'm afraid,

slight crisis outside.

Gavin, could you round up Tim and a couple of others

and bring them out to Reception please?

Yes, Mr. Brittas.

Anything I can do Gordon?

Very nice of you to volunteer my love.

We have to move a piano.

Rather heavy work for the female frame.

Looking after you alright is she dad?

Oh, certainly is. In fact Helen was just saying...

Excellent.

Is it alright if I still go home at 7?

Home, why?

If you remember my, step mother and her two daughters

are going to a rather, grand ball.

And they want me to stay at home and clean the kitchen.

Right. You do realise that will mean missing the concert, don't you?

Could you not touch that please?

What?

Could you not touch the piano please.

It's a rather valuable instrument, and if you don't know what you're doing

you could damage the tuning.

I am Vladimir Petrov.

Yes, well when you learn how to read English,

you'll understand that we're closed today, 'cause we're having a concert...

Mr. Petrov.

Welcome to Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre.

Gordon Brittas.

Not too hot for you, I hope?

What?

Well you're more used to snow aren't you?

In Leningrad, I mean.

Oh.

Yes.

Well perhaps you'd like to come to the gymnasium,

where you're gonna be playing this evening.

Thank you.

Well don't you touch that,

I'll get one of the staff to move that for you. Carole?

How may I help you?

Perhaps you'd like to take Mr. Petrov's suitcase to his dressing room.

Yes, Mr. Brittas. -Please, I am quite able.

No, no, no, you leave that to Carole.

Frankly, between you and me, she needs the exercise.

She's getting a little bit pudgy.

I think she is a most attractive woman.

Who?

Your Carole.

Now that's interesting,

'cause over here we don't see anything attractive in her at all.

Your son's success means a lot to you, doesn't it Mr. Brittas?

Oh, it does Laura.

You see, I never managed to do much with my life.

I've been, well let's be honest,

I've been a failure, haven't I?

Oh you shouldn't say that, dad.

You've, raised a family. You've -- done all sorts of things.

Do you know what I wanted most in the world, when I was a teenager Helen?

No, I can't think.

I wanted to be an astronomer.

Really? -Yeah, I was 15 years old,

and I asked my mum and dad if I could stay on at school

and, you know, and pass an exam or something.

But dad just laughed, "If you want to look at the stars",

he said, "We can fix that".

And that's how you started as a night watchman?

40 years Helen.

40 years I spent, looking after breeze blocks

for Wigmore Concrete Fabrications.

Yes, all very worthwhile but, wasn't my dream was it?

What a sad story.

Yeah that's why I vowed, that I ever had children,

I'd make sure it'd never happen to them.

Our dreams are the most important things we have.

Mr. Brittas has a dream.

You've got to have a dream Laura.

'Cause if you don't have a dream.

How you going to have a dream come true

Precisely.

You know Vlad, I was thinking, when this lot's over

you and I should get together and do a couple of duets.

What do you reckon?

May I?

Certainly.

I think I'll go and sort out your piano now Vlad.

Have you got everything you need?

If you have one, I would like, a rogue.

Sorry?

A rogue.

A rogue? Right.

To sit on.

Oh, yes, I know what you mean now.

In this country we have chairs, you see?

Chairs.

Niet, niet! A rogue.

For stretching, relaxing, on the floor.

Ah, you mean -- individual exercise mat?

Now I'm with you, Vlad. We've got plenty of those.

Here we go.

Individual exercise mat.

Just help yourself, alright?

Mind your fingers, Vlad!

Well, if you're sure there's nothing else?

Vlad, I've got a sneaking suspicion, that you and I are gonna be a big hit tonight.

I can feel it.

There.

Where on earth is Gavin?

He was supposed...

Colin, what are you doing?

I think I've solved your problem, Mr. Brittas.

Which problem?

About, how a man can play the piano, sideways.

Colin, that is a hoist for lifting disabled swimmers out of the pool.

That's right Mr. Brittas and it works, perfectly.

Pardon?

Well you see, he just climbs into that sling,

we press the button here,

up he goes,

where he stops nobody knows.

And there he is, ready to play the piano!

Colin, do I take it that you've spent the last half an hour,

working out how a visiting pianist from Leningrad

can be strung up by his trousers, to play a piano sideways?

Yes, Mr. Brittas.

To think it was so simple.

Was it really?

Yes, and then when he's finished,

we just spin him back out here -- and he takes -- his bow.

I wonder what the problem is now.

Colin, I've a little suggestion.

You know the attic store room on the third floor?

Yes, Mr, Brittas.

I want you to take that dummy up there with a commode and a glass of water.

Yes, Mr. Brittas.

I want you to lock yourself in there and swallow the key,

and we'll see you when nature's taken its course.

Probably about Tuesday.

Gavin, there you are.

What do you want us to do, Mr. Brittas?

I'm afraid we've been rather let down by the removal men.

I thought that was the caterers.

I'm in a hurry Tim.

I want you to take that piano, and put it on the platform in the gymnasium please.

Just the four of us?

Just the three of you. Let me know as soon as it's done, I'll be in my office.

Are you alright Colin?

I know he doesn't mean to, Tim,

but sometimes Mr. Brittas can be really hurtful.

You see, Laura, I never had the money to send them to fancy schools

or anything but, well I've always believed

that the most important thing a parent can give his child is a belief in himself.

Sounds like quite a tall order, Mr. Brittas.

My parents settled for sitting up straight

and having a clean handkerchief.

Praise, Laura.

Sorry?

That's the secret, praise.

Ever since he was tiny, I've always told Gordon

that if he wanted, he could achieve anything,

anything at all.

What do you think?

I've got to present the bouquet at the end of the concert.

Oh Helen, that's lovely.

You look a picture.

Gordon'll be proud of ya.

Yes, yes good.

So, Mr. Brittas, you think that constant praise from a very early age, is enough?

Oh I do Laura, yes.

Start when they're young, carry on year after year,

and they'll go out into life with an unshakable belief

that they can really do something with their abilities.

I see.

Of course you can always tell the ones who didn't get it.

Can you?

Oh yes, see them all the time.

Indecisive, anxious,

dosing themselves up with tranquillisers.

You don't think the bow's a bit too much?

No Helen, really it's fine.

Don't know why I'd said I'd do this.

I hate standing up in front of people.

I know I'll look a complete idiot.

Never know what to say.

Helen what were your parents like?

What?

Oh, pretty average I think.

Think I was a bit of a disappointment to them really.

Why?

Well you see,

my father would have inherited a jam factory if I'd a boy.

But I wasn't.

I was terrible at school, as well.

Only ever really good at one thing.

That got me thrown out, when I was 16.

Never quite sure where to go with your life, were you Helen?

No.

Till Gordon came along.

Gordon, yes.

What's wrong?

It won't fit.

It won't go round the corner.

Not even on its side?

No, we've tried that.

Well I suppose we'd better drag it out, and round to the fire doors now.

Oh what about the oil tanker.

What oil tanker?

There's an oil tanker parked slap in front of the fire doors.

That's terrible. If the piano won't fit in the hall,

what will happen to Mr. Brittas' concert?

Well, I'll suppose he'll have to cancel it.

Oh, I'd better tell him.

Oh poor Mr. Brittas, he'll be so upset.

Yes.

Yes, he will won't he.

Hang on Gavin, I'm coming with you.

I thought Tim and the others were moving the piano?

Well it wouldn't fit in the hall, so they've gone to tell Mr. Brittas.

All of them? -Well Gavin's actually going to tell him,

but the others wanted to watch.

I see.

Carole, I didn't know played the piano.

I don't, it's just that, you know...

I'd no idea.

I used to dream of being a concert pianist when I was little.

But my parents made me give it up.

They said it would be more sensible to do extra -- domestic science.

Oh dear.

They sold our piano, to put me through a "Max Factor beauty" course.

They said it was more important to get a man.

I suppose they were right.

They screw you up, your mum and dad.

Sorry?

Oh no, nothing Carole, look you have a nice evening, alright.

See you tomorrow.

Thank you Laura.

Excuse me. -Yes?

Please, I want, do you have, for, to mend?

A pin?

Of yes of course. If you'd like to come with me.

What is that?

I think that's someone playing the piano.

Not bad is it?

It's magnificent.

The technique is rudimentary, but the passion, the feeling.

To know suffering and pain like that, and to pour it into the music, it's incredible.

Please, who is playing? -I don't know. I'll go and see.

Wait.

First we must listen to see how -- he handles -- the allegro.

Come along Ben, let's get our coats and go home.

What do you mean it won't fit?

Take the legs off and turn it on its side.

No, we tried that, it still wouldn't go down the passage. It's the coffee machine.

Let's use our brains, shall we?

Move the coffee machine. -We can't.

Tim?

You had it welded to one of the steel supports, if you remember Mr. Brittas.

You were worried that the flashing lights

might attract a small child and he would climb up,

pull the machine on top of himself, and be crushed to death.

So what you're saying is it won't go along the corridor?

That's right.

Right let's take it round the outside and through the fire doors.

What about the lorry?

What lorry?

The oil tanker.

It's not still parked there, is it?

I don't believe it.

I specifically told them

we need those doors vitally tonight.

Why would he leave it there?

It's a bit of a mystery, that one Mr. Brittas.

Here's what we do, we jack up the tanker,

take the legs off the piano,

and slide the mainframe under the tanker on blankets.

But Mr. Brittas.

It'll fit Gavin, trust me.

But the doors open outwards.

I know that Julie.

And the lorry's parked in front of them.

Well anyone else got any bright ideas?

Excuse me please.

Yes Vlad, what is it?

The piano.

Yes, we're just sorting it out now, it's under control.

I must know, who was playing it.

What, this piano?

Just now.

The sound was so exciting, so perfect.

You heard this piano, and it sounded alright, eh?

If I could find who was playing it,

I would take them back to the Conservatory, to Leningrad,

to study with me.

Night everyone.

Night Carole.

Good night.

The piano sounded alright in here, eh?

Right, ladies and gentlemen, I've got the answer.

Linda.

I've nearly finished, Mr. Brittas.

Slight change of plan, Linda.

We've decided to hold the concert in Reception.

What?

Why?

Oh nothing for you to worry about,

just stack the chairs and bring them through, alright?

Quick as you can, there's a good girl.

Right Laura, this is the plan.

The most expensive seats up here at the front.

Middle priced seats up the stairs, but with cushions.

And all the rest, down back along the corridor

as far as the toilets.

You won't hear a great deal from down there, Mr. Brittas,

apart from the automatic flushing.

I'll switch on the intercom system, Laura.

They'll pick up most of it on the tannoy.

They've paid rather a lot of money, haven't they?

It's a charity concert Laura.

People don't come to hear the music.

No of course not, silly me.

Come on Linda, further forward.

Much further forward, than that.

Start about here, then make your way back down...

Oh, why's this still here?

Could someone move this piano please?

Ah, dad.

Oh ready when you are son.

We're still a little bit tied up at the moment dad.

Could you give us a hand, by moving your piano?

Oh you show me the way.

Just somewhere out of Reception.

Could I leave that with you?

If you need a hand, just get someone to give you a hand, alright?

Right.

Ah darling, shouldn't you be getting changed?

What?

The concert, remember?

You were gonna wear something special.

Alright everyone. Looking good. Well done, quick as you can.

Linda that's the spirit.

Well done everyone.

Vladimir?

Vlad?

Vladimir, I just thought I'd tell you, you can relax.

Thank you.

Just one small change to the arrangements.

We're holding the concert out in Reception,

but nothing to worry about.

Good.

So, if that's everything? You've got your fruit,

you've got fresh water.

Would it be possible to do something about the noise?

You mean the mood music?

What's wrong with it, exactly?

I find it rather distracting.

That's funny.

You see, in this country we find it very relaxing.

Still, takes all sorts, eh?

Anyone free at the moment?

Colin, where's Colin?

Yes, Mr. Brittas?

Colin, over here as quick as you can please.

I'm a bit tied up at the moment, Mr. Brittas.

Just drop whatever it is Colin, and come here, will you?

Let it go.

Really.

If you're sure?

Don't worry about me.

If my Gordon needs you, you go.

I'll be alright.

Well, if you're sure? -Yes.

Colin, we need to turn off the mood music.

I want you to go to my office, and when you...

Where would you like your father to seat, Mr. Brittas?

Sorry Laura?

Your father.

If you like, I can put him on the front row,

between you and the Mayor.

Very nice thought Laura,

but don't you think he might be a bit uncomfortable?

Why?

Well it's a very smart affair Laura,

I think he'd be much better off in here.

Sitting on a bench, in the rest room?

I think so Laura, yes. He'll hear most of it.

He's a simple man Laura.

I don't think we need to embarrass him

by making him feel out of place.

Right.

Colin, where are you going?

I just thought...

I haven't finished telling you what to do yet.

I just thought your father might be...

I wish people would stop worrying about my father,

we're trying to organise a concert.

I'm just wondering how long he can hold on for.

Colin, go to my office, there's an orange switch...

Hold on to what exactly?

Don't worry, I've got it.

You mustn't blame yourself, dad.

I can't help it, I mean he's not gonna play, is he?

I'm afraid not, no.

Mr. Brittas did ask if he would be prepared to play

with just the other hand for half the fee, but,

he wasn't interested.

Oh, it's all my fault, I mean,

Gordon had organised everything so perfectly.

I'm just a stupid old man who comes along and messes it all up for him.

Come on now dad, don't upset yourself.

Well how can I not be upset, I've ruined everything.

I mean they've had to cancel the concert.

All those disappointed people.

Actually they haven't.

What?

Cancelled.

But they must have. I mean,

who else can he possibly find to play?

So I thought come on, we're all music lovers.

Music's why we're here, and by Jingo,

music is what we're gonna have.

So Colin, lights.

I'd like to start, ladies and gentlemen

with an old favourite of mine,

something that I'm sure will tug a few heart strings

and stir a few memories, eh, Mayor?

Hey girl what you doing down there

He's not?

He is.

Oh no, what does he think he's doing?

It could be my fault.

What, this was your idea?

Well in a way, you see,

we were all standing outside the ambulance

waving good bye to Mr. Petrov.

And Mr. Brittas was saying,

"Where are we going to find a internationally famous pianist

in the next half hour?

And I said "Hey kids, why don't we do the show ourselves?

Oh, you didn't? -Just never thought...

Oh my darling,

knock three times on the ceiling if want me

Gavin.

Twice on the pipe

If the answer is no

Oh, my sweetness

Means you'll meet me in the hallway

Twice on the pipe

If the answer is no

What a man!

You know what you were saying earlier, about how important it is for parents

to give their children every confidence in their abilities, Mr. Brittas?

Oh Jim, please.

Well I was wondering what would happen -- Jim,

if you gave someone an unshakable confidence

in their abilities, when they didn't actually have any?

I think you'd be in trouble there.

That's what I thought.

All together now, last chorus. Come on Mayor,

rattle your chain.

Come on my darling

Knock three times

on the ceiling if you want me

Gavin.

Twice on the pipe

if the answer is no

Oh, my sweetness

All together

In the hallway

Twice on the pipe

if you ain't going to show...