All language subtitles for s1-5 enldmÇ

Straight through to the restroom please,
Gavin, Linda. Straight through please.

I'm sorry I'm late Mr. Brittas.

Never mind, Colin.
Straight through to the restroom, please.

Right, Mr. Brittas.
-You've closed us down again?

I shall be explaining that, Laura.

It's the fourth time this month!

If you'd just like to go
straight through to the restroom, please.

The restroom, Colin.
I said the staff restroom.

I need the toilet first, Mr. Brittas.

I've been taking lot of fennel
recently to help purify my system.

Alright Colin.

Unfortunately seems to put my kidneys into
spasm and give me this hyperactive bladder.

Just join us when you can Colin, will you.
-Right, Mr. Brittas.

Here you are, Mr. Brittas.
-Ah. Thank you Angie.

What do you want
the Polaroid (instant camera) for?

All will be revealed Angie.
All will be revealed.

So the facts are these.

During the course of yesterday afternoon,
Carol had to leave her baby -Ben

Ben, in his carry cot
here in the staff restroom.

My mother would have kept him
but she's back in hospital, you see?

Thank you, Carol.

Her body's rejected the hip replacement.

We're all very sad to hear that Carol. Now.

Sorry about that Mr. Brittas, but it can
be quite painful if I don't -- you know!

If you'd just like
to take a seat, please, Colin.

Now, Carol hid the £5 that she'd borrowed

down beside the mattress
here in the carry cot.

I know it was silly,
but I needed the money

for a cassette of womb
music to help him sleep.

So Carol hid the £5 in the carry cot.

He's has a lot of trouble sleeping.
So do I actually.

Carol. -I haven't had
a good night's sleep since I...

Carol!
-Sorry, Mr. Brittas.

Now, as some of you are
undoubtedly aware £5 is a lot of money

to Carol and paying me back
is not going to be easy for her.

I'm sorry, Mr. Brittas.

Once more should do it!

But I think there's
a much more serious issue here.

Staff morale. If we're ever going
to work together as a team,

we have to be
able to trust each other.

And that is why I've decided
to close the Centre this morning.

But are you sure
that's absolutely necessary, Mr. Brittas?

I think it's vital, Laura.

Well, I know it's serious
but we are covered by insurance

and it was only 5 pounds.

Unfortunately, it wasn't only £5.
£5 is just the tip of a very ugly iceberg.

Last Tuesday when Patrick came
in here to wash his hair,

he found that his sachet of shampoo
had been removed from the shower area.

Wednesday afternoon,
this very same room,

Gavin's soap on a rope
mysteriously disappeared.

Sorry about that Mr. Brittas.
I feel so much better.

And on Friday when I came
to check the staff coffee money,

I discovered that
3 biscuits were unaccounted for.

Somebody must have forgotten, Mr. Brittas.

How could anyone forget
Carol? It couldn't be simpler.

You either put your 2p in the honesty box,
or you sign your name here in the book...

OK, who's stolen the biscuit pencil?

Right, that's another thing,
the biscuit pencil.

Mr. Brittas? -Perhaps you should
move in there for the day, Colin.

No no no, I've been thinking, Mr. Brittas.
Perhaps it isn't a thief. -What?

I saw this television
programme the other night.

It was about a postman and he
used to drive round in his little van

and when people kept missing things in
his village, it turned out to be a bird.

A what?

I saw that. It was a jackdaw.

That's right.
A jackdaw could be taking everything.

That's jewellery Colin.
Jackdaws take jewellery.

It's not going to fly off with
Gavin's Soap on a rope, is it?

It wouldn't fit its beak.

No, well, no, no, I realise that, but...

I think Colin's right.
-Pardon?

I mean, I just can't believe it was
anyone here. I mean look around.

We all know each other. No one in this
room is going to steal 5 pounds from Carol.

Looks can be very deceptive, Laura.

I mean you wouldn't know
necessarily just by looking,

that someone in this room had
a criminal record, would you?

Have they? -I thought no one was
supposed to know about that.

What? -The person with a criminal record.
I thought no one was supposed to know.

They don't, that information is
completely confidential and always will be.

So how come you've
just told everyone.

I didn't. All I said is someone in
this room might have a criminal....

You said they "had", actually!

Did I? Well, I'm very sorry. I apologise,
that's not what I meant to say.

It's a bit late isn't it?
I mean, everyone knows who it is now.

They don't. I've named no names, Danny.
-Of course they do!

Alright, so I went to prison, but that
doesn't mean I stole Carol's 5 pounds.

I happen to have got involved in what
was technically a bigamous marriage.

You know I've done me 3
months and if anyone here

wants to make anything out of it...

Look, Danny, Danny, Danny. I had
no idea you had a criminal record.

I wasn't even talking about you.
-No? -No, I was talking about Mandy.

He promised he wouldn't.
Why did you have to go and say it?

Mandy, I'm sorry. Could we all
please leave that off the record?

You try to go straight. You try to make
a fresh start. They never let you forget.

Now that is exactly
what I'm worried about.

That's an excellent example of what
can happen when the trust is eroded

and you lose all team spirit. One
bad apple and that sort of heartache

and suffering is the result. Laura,
I want you to hand these out, please.

I think the best thing we can do is find
out where everyone was yesterday afternoon.

So if you like to fill in,
in the spaces provided, where you were,

what you did,
when you left, who you saw there,

and anyone who might
have seen you. Alright?

Now, this is purely a formality.

I don't want anyone to
feel they're under suspicion.

But if you'd like to--

press firmly with a ballpoint or biro

so the automatic copies are
clear for cross referencing. Alright?

So Mrs. Brittas, you want some
more Valium, is that it?

Yes, please.

Are you feeling particularly
depressed at the moment?

Yes, very.

Would you like to tell me why?

Well, I've run out of the pills.

Well, I'll need a little more than that,
if I'm to make a diagnosis, Mrs. Brittas.

How are things at
home for instance?

If I could just have some more pills.

Well, that's not the way I like to work.

Doctor Burton used to
just write out a prescription.

Yes, well, I don't like using purely
chemical solutions, Mrs. Brittas.

They only alleviate
the symptoms.

Sounds fine to me.

I see here from
Dr. Burton's notes that things

haven't always been
easy with your husband.

Are things difficult at the moment?

Not especially.
He's always like that.

There's no new problem then?

Not especially.

Well, yes, yes I suppose there is.
You see, I've been seeing a--

friend in London for some time now.
Simon.

And he --
doesn't want to see me any more.

Oh, I see.
-Thank you.

Does your husband know about Simon?

No no. There's no problem there.
Gordon trusts me completely.

Mrs. Brittas,
has it occurred to you,

that a lack of honesty in your
relationship with your husband

could be what's causing
this depression? -No.

You see, I think the two of
you should be talking about this,

if necessary with a third person.

You mean some sort of marriage guidance?
-Yes. Well why not?

You've never met my husband, have you?

Perhaps I should?

And if you'd rather, I'd be quite happy

if the suggestion of
marriage guidance came from me.

Is that the only way I'm
going to get more pills?

I wouldn't put it quite like...
-Alright, when do I bring him in?

Sometime next week.

No! -No?
-It has to be today.

I've only got 2 pills left and
Gordon will be home at 4:00.

Well, I suppose...
-I'll be back in an hour.

Well, there are one or two little
discrepancies here, Tim, between

what you say you are doing and what
Gavin is written about your movements.

What do you mean?

Well, for instance, he says
you left him in the canteen at 3:04

and Patrick says you
didn't arrive at the pool til 3:09.

Yes?

Well, I've timed the
walk between the canteen

and the pool, Tim and it
takes just under 2 minutes.

Yet it seems to have taken you nearly five.

Perhaps I made a mistake. We're
only talking about a few minutes.

A few minutes, yes, Tim.

Now tell me, I gather
you were a rather

useful middle distance
runner while at school.

Yes, alright.
Look what's all this about?

Now, Tim, I've also timed the
distance between the canteen

and that window up there

and allowing one minute to
climb in and climb back out again,

it is in fact possible for
the above average sprinter,

Tim, to do the whole thing
in just under 5 minutes.

So you think I took the fiver
is that it?

I'm not saying that.

Yes, you are.
You're accusing me.

I am definitely making
no accusations at this point.

All I'm saying Tim is
there is an inconsistency

here that may or may
not have significance.

Perhaps I left the canteen a bit later?
-Ah, so now you're changing your story?

Mr. Brittas?
-What is it, Carol?

Something you ought to know.
-Yes?

It's about the missing biscuits.

Yes, come in.

Mr. Brittas?
-Yes, Gavin?

I'd just like to say that, that Tim is one
of the kindest, gentlest people I know.

And, and the idea that
he'd steal 5 pounds is, is...

He wouldn't do a thing like
that, not in a million years.

Well, not from a baby, anyway.

That's all I wanted to say
really. -Gavin, Gavin, Gavin.

Not so hasty my young
friend. I wasn't accusing Tim.

He's a very sensitive
person, you know?

He, he's talking about packing it
all in and and leaving and going

back to live with his
mother in Cheshire.

Don't worry, Gavin. I'll be
going over all this this evening.

It's just that whoever
took it, it wasn't Tim.

Look, Gavin, I don't
want to give away

too much at this early
stage, but I will say this.

I have a plan which will ensure
that by the end of this evening,

we'll all know who the real culprit is.
-Can I tell him not to worry then?

Gavin, if Tim is innocent,
he has nothing to fear from me.

Thanks, Mr. Brittas.

Everything all right, Carol?

Yes, Mr. Brittas.

Is everything alright, Mr. Brittas?

Yes Laura, just clearing out this locker.

I see.

Oh, look somebody's left their
wallet on the table. It's yours! -Is It?

Well, it's got your name
and address inside it.

Yes, Laura, thank you. If you'd just
like to leave it where it is please.

Are you sure?
-Quite sure.

It doesn't seem very safe.

I mean, if you don't mind
me saying so, isn't it rather

silly to leave money lying
around when there's a thief about?

Laura, this, if you must know, is the
bait which is going to catch our thief.

Really?

Yes, there's £100 in 20 pound
notes in there and if I'm ever given

the chance, I'm going to hide in
this locker and watch who steals it.

This is the staff
changing area Mr. Brittas.

I shan't be watching any of that, Laura.

I just want to see who takes my wallet.

But that's spying on people.

Surveillance, I prefer to call it, Laura.

Sometimes, unpleasant
things have to be done.

Well I hope none of the others find out.

What do you mean?

Well, I'm just not sure
how the staff will react

to having someone taking
Polaroids from inside a locker.

I just don't think it
will be very popular.

Have you got nothing to do, Laura?

Well, as a matter of fact
I was going to have a shower,

but I think
I've changed my mind now.

Mr. Brittas?

Mr. Brittas?

Yes! What is it?

Oh, there you are, Mister Brittas, Laura
said you were hiding in one of the lockers.

Message from Angie. Your wife
is waiting for you in your office.

My wife, are you sure?
-That's what she said.

Oh look, someone's left their wallet.

Thank you, Linda.

This is asking to be
stolen left out like that.

Oh, it's yours, Mr. Brittas.
-Is it, Linda? Thank you.

Lucky I found it.
You want to be careful.

Are you not supposed
to be on duty in the pool?

No, this is my break I just ...

Well, go and see if Colin needs a hand.
-Right, Mr. Brittas.

Hello darling, what a nice surprise.
I thought you were at Uncle Simon's today.

I didn't go.
-What happened?

I changed my mind.
Look, Gordon...

Is he alright though? He's 73 years old
and bedridden. He relies on you, you know.

Uncle Simon doesn't
want to see me any more.

Doesn't want to?

What about all those weekends?

The bed baths.
The clean underwear.

Apparently someone
else is doing all that now.

I see. Well, I have to say
darling, I'm rather relieved.

What?

I always thought it took
far too much out of you.

You come back home from
a day flat out at Uncle Simon's,

and I think to myself that
poor woman is exhausted.

Is the new person younger?

I think so.

Good.

Look, Gordon, I came in to say the
doctor wants to see you. -The doctor?

Yes, he wants to talk to both of us before
he'll give me anything for my depression.

Well, anything to make
my little lady happy.

Let's see now.
When are we free?

No, it has to be now!

Ooh, a bit tricky, darling.

I'm supposed to be hiding
in a locker in the staff changing room.

Oh, God!

You are a bit down,
aren't you, darling?

I'll tell you what, why don't I go
and find someone to hide for me

while you pop
down to the cafeteria.

Cheer yourself up with some
hot chocolate and a doughnut.

I haven't got my purse.
-No problem, darling.

Ah. I'll tell you what.

get Angie to do you something
from petty cash, alright?

And I'll see you
downstairs in 12 minutes.

You could look after someone else.

What?
-Instead of Uncle Simon.

I'm sure we can find you some old person
in need of a bed bath and a bowl of soup.

For when you get the urge...

Thank you, Gordon.

Attagirl.

Mr. Brittas?
-Not now, Angie.

Where's he gone now?
-Oh, God knows.

He's just left this downstairs

Someone just found it
lying out on the table.

Oh, thank you.

You should tell him to be more careful.
-Yes. -Are you alright?

Can I get you a cup of coffee or something?

No, no. I'm going to cheer myself up with
a cup of hot chocolate and a doughnut.

I'm with you, Mister Brittas.

You want me to get into this locker?
-Precisely -There's just one problem.

It's not difficult Colin. Just look
through the grille as I explained.

Right Mr. Brittas, it's just...

And make a note of everyone
who comes in and the time.

It's just...
-Come on, Colin. It's only for one hour.

I'm not sure I can last that long.

What? -Well, you remember, I explained
this morning about my hyperactive bladder?

Ah! I'll tell you what, Colin,
take this milk bottle.

Is that alright? -Well...
-It's only for an emergency, Colin.

I'm just not sure one
milk bottle will be enough.

Well, if you need any more, put a
note in it and stick it outside the door.

Now, have you got everything Colin?

Notebook. Watch. Camera.
-Yes, Mr. Brittas.

Right. Just make sure you keep
an eye on the wallet, alright? -Right.

What wallet?
-The wallet on the table, Colin.

That's the whole object of the exercise.
You've got to watch that wallet...

It's gone!
-What's gone?

A wallet! I left a wallet
on here with £100 in it and it's gone!

You left your wallet on the table?
-Yes.

If you don't mind me saying so,
Mr. Brittas, that wasn't very sensible.

It was meant to be taken,
Colin, just not yet. Get in there.

Ah Mr. Brittas, they said you'd be in
here. Your wife asked me to give you this

Did she Tim? -and to say
she's waiting in the car.

Thank you, Tim.
-She said, someone gave it to Angie.

Did they, Tim?

I was thinking. You want to be
careful leaving your wallet lying about,

especially if you think
someone's trying to steal it.

Yes. Well, I'm not too interested in your
theories just at the moment, thank you.

Well, I can't do
anything right today, can I?

Can you see that clearly, Colin?
-Yes, Mr. Brittas. -Right, good luck.

I'm definitely gonna need another bottle.

I don't believe it. He's not stupid
enough to do anything like that.

I know, but I tell you, he is,
he's in there at the moment.

Mr. Brittas? -Yes.
-In the locker?

Yes, Laura saw him getting in.

You're right.
He is in there!

Could hear him pouring a drink.

It's despicable.

It's spying, that is.

I mean people come in here to get
changed and, and all sorts of things.

I'm going to tell him exactly what I think.

Hang on a minute.
I've got a better idea.

Well thank you both for coming in.

Not at all Doctor and
may I say how glad we all are to see

some fresh blood in the practise
now that old Dr. Burton's dead.

I'm not usually one to criticise, but he
was definitely gaga in his final years.

Half blind. Pill-happy.

He was Doctor Grey's father in law, Gordon.

Oh, well you know what
I'm talking about then.

Mr. Brittas.
-Gordon please.

Your wife came to see me earlier,
Gordon, about her depression.

Now you know about this?

Oh yes, she's been getting depression
ever since I've known her really.

Yes, well. -I can usually jolly her out of
them, but one doesn't always have the time.

Mrs. Brittas. Do you have any
idea what causes these depressions?

I think it's all in the mind, really.

You see, Mrs. Brittas has what you and I,
doctor would describe as a poor self image.

I keep telling us her
she's worth the world to me

but she still gets a bit
down, don't you darling?

Some mornings she can hardly
persuade herself it's worth getting up.

Have you ever considered
Marriage Guidance, Mr. Brittas?

Funnily enough, I have, yes.
-Good, because....

But in the end I decided to
train as a Samaritan instead.

Mr. Brittas. I think it
would be very helpful

if you and your wife were
to talk about why she's depressed

with a third person? -Ah!
Do you think that would help Mrs. Brittas?

I think talking always helps, yes. As
long as you're completely honest about it.

You must have honesty in a relationship.

I was asking your wife what she thought.

Oh, she agrees. You can ask her yourself.

We've always thought
that married couples

should talk things
through. Haven't we darling?

Mr. Brittas, I do wish you let your wife
answer for herself.

Oh, it's alright, I knew
what she was going to say.

Mrs. Brittas, is there anything
you'd like to say at this point?

Not really.

Would you like me to go ahead
and organise a preliminary session?

I think the best thing to do is.

You're doing it again Mr. Brittas.
-What?

I asked your wife a question
and you answered for her.

Did I?
So I did.

Keep pulling me up on that one,
darling. will you? I didn't even notice.

Well spotted, Doc.

Yes, well, I'll be in touch when I've
organised something, Mrs. Brittas.

Well, thank you very much indeed
Doctor and good luck with the practise.

And don't worry, I'm sure people
will start to come back eventually.

Mrs Brittas? -Yes?
-This is your prescription.

Please call back
when you need some more!

Thank you.

And these--

are some slightly stronger ones.

For the really bad days.
-Thank you -- so much.

Tell me, did he really train with the
Samaritans? -Oh yes. -And they let him in?

Oh, just the one evening.
Black Friday they call it.

They lost four in an hour and a half.
-Four?

One of them was just a wrong number.

But he was watching!
That's disgusting! What are we going to do?

It's alright Gavin's already
doing it. -You ready? -Right.

What's that then?

It's alright, I got it from
a friend of mine who's a vet.

Mr. Brittas?
-Yes, Carol?

Look at this Mr. Brittas.
-It's a nappy Carol!

Not "just" a nappy, Mr. Brittas.

Ben's not blocked any more.

No, I can see that, Carol.

I've found what was causing
the trouble. Look there. -Carol?

Do you recognise the signature,
Mr. Brittas? -I beg your pardon?

It's the Governor of the Bank of England.

Is it?

He swallowed it.

What?

The £5. Nobody took it.
Little Ben ate it.

So the fiver wasn't stolen?

This is why it wasn't in
his carry cot, I'm so happy.

So no one took the fiver?
-No.

So I've spent a large part of
my morning accusing people

of stealing things that have in
fact been eaten by your baby?

I'm sorry Mr. Brittas.
I promise you'll get your money back

I will wash the pieces.
I will sellotape them. -Alright Carol.

Of course, it might take
a few days before we get it all.

I think it might be easier, Carol,
if I took it out of your wages.

Now if you will excuse me. I must go and
tell everyone it's been a false alarm

Oh, Mr. Brittas? -Yes?
-Danny handed in your wallet.

Did he? Well done Danny.

He found it on the table in the restroom.

If you don't mind me
saying so, Mister Brittas?

I don't think it was a terribly
safe place to keep it was it?

I mean, 80 pounds is a lot of money.

If I could just have the
wallet please, Carol.

How much?

Eighty.
I had to look to see who it belonged to.

£80!

I've been robbed.

However, what the criminal
did not know is that my apparent

carelessness had a reason
which I shall now reveal.

Every one of those 20 pound notes
was coated with a phosphorus powder

invisible to the naked eye,
but which, under ultraviolet light

shows up as a bright blue,

enabling me to see who handled the
money and thus name the guilty party.

So if you like to form a queue and
run your hands under the light, please.

Nice and thoroughly,
please, Angie. Thank you.

Thank you very much Laura too.

Yes, Gavin, Danny, Phil, Linda, Mandy.

No blue hands.

Well, we're obviously dealing with a
criminal far cleverer than I first thought.

We don't know that Mr. Brittas.
-What? -About nobody having blue hands.

Yes, I saw quite clearly, Gavin.
There was no trace.

You haven't done everyone yet.

Yes, I have, Tim.
-Not quite everyone.

I was very careful Laura.
I checked every individual.

You haven't done yourself, have you?

No, you were standing behind the light.

Well there's not a lot of point me
checking my own hands is there now?

Why not?

You said that no one was above suspicion
-I realise that Laura,

but as I'm the one
who set the trap in the first place,

I'm hardly likely to have
walked into it, am I?

Perhaps it was part of your plan?

Do you mind, Carol?

She's not saying that you
did plant it, Mr. Brittas.

She's just playing devil's
advocate aren't you? -Yes, exactly.

What possible motive could I
have to steal my own money?

Perhaps you want to claim it back on the
insurance. You could have been desparate.

No. Don't be ridiculous.

You think that I would... You want to
see me put my hands under the light? -Yes!

Alright my hands -- light -- satisfied?
Blue. Blue.

Well of course they're blue.

I had to paint the damn things, didn't I?

I had to take them out and put them in
my wallet. Of course I got it in my hands.

Anyway, it's my money.
-No it wasn't!

What?

I was just saying, Mr. Brittas,
it wasn't your money.

Most of it was from petty cash.

Part of it was from
petty cash. Yes, part of it,

but it could easily be my
20 pounds that was stolen.

I think we should call the police.

No one's calling anyone, just 'cause
I've got a bit of dye on my hands...

No, no, I think Gavin's right.
Just to -- sort it out.

Right. Of course. Colin.
-Colin?

The person who took the money,
and presumably they were wearing gloves,

would have been seen by Colin.

Colin?

I took the precaution earlier
of hiding Colin in a locker.

So he will have seen precisely
what time the money was taken,

and precisely by whom.

Okay, Colin, you can come out now.

Colin, come out now.

Are you in there, Colin?

All right, who's stolen Colin?

Colin?
-Mr. Brittas!

Good grief.
What are you doing up there?

Colin, are you still inside that thing?
-Yes Mr. Brittas.

Poor Colin.
Both legs.

No, I think he'll be alright physically.
The doctor said they were clean breaks.

No, I was thinking more of -- is he
fitting in properly. That sort of thing.

I mean, that's what's important
if he's going to be part of a team.

Do people like him --

when they hang him up on the fire escape?

They filled your car with cement.

Ah, that's different, darling.
New Boy, practical jokes.

But I think in the case of Colin.

I mean, I'm just not sure he's popular.

Part of it, of course, is the flatulence.

I think what I'll do is I'll
pop in tonight in the hospital.

Have a tactful word with him about it.

Speaking of which, you
look rather better my darling.

Sorry?

More like your old self. Did the
doctor give you some sort of tonic?

Yes.

My day wasn't too bad actually.

All in all, I think it went quite well.

What?

At the Centre. Never a very
pleasant business, pilfering.

but I think if we can weather a storm like
that, we may end up with a leaner team,

but I think will be a stronger
team at the end of the day.

I thought in the end
there wasn't any pilfering.

What?

Well, I borrowed the £20.
Carol's baby ate the Fiver.

They found the biscuit pencil
down the back of the radiator.

There was the shampoo.
And Gavin's soap on a rope.

But, in the end I narrowed
it down to four people.

And oddly enough, they
were part of a little group

that handed in their notice
at the end of the meeting.

What, all of them?

Yes, I'm not sure they
weren't working as a team.

Anyway, they've all gone now.

That's alright then.
-So hopefully no more pilfering.

I thought there were six of these?

Of what?
-Kit Kats.

There's one missing?
Was it you darling?

I don't think so.
-Are you sure?

Well, fairly sure. I've got these.

There was definitely 6 this morning.

I think I'd better
have a word with the children.