Original subtitles

So 17 year old, Beverly Pearson

of 33, Elm Dene Close, you think you'd like to work here?

Good. So, what is it we are trying to do? -Pardon?

What do you think our work is here at the centre?

Oh, well, I suppose -- you want people to play sport. -Wrong.

What if somebody wants to go for a swim...

Wrong again.

How many tries do I get?

Tell me Beverley, on your way into the centre,

did you notice anything written above the door?

Oh yes. You're not allowed in with certain kinds of shoes.

Above that?

People in leather jackets aren't allowed in either.

Above that, carved over the door Semper omnibus facultas. Open To All.

Oh, that is nice.

It's the most important thing about this centre, Beverly.

We're Open To All and that's not just people who like sport.

In fact, the people I really want to see in here

are the people who don't like sport at all. Who hate the idea.

Can't see the point in it.

Those are the people I really want to see in here, Beverly.

And you know why? -Why, Mr. Brittas? -I'll tell you why, Beverly.

Because in a divided and troubled world such as this

it seems to me that sport is the one thing

that can bring people together. -Oh, I see...

Out there are people fighting, hating, arguing.

I think if we can just get them to come in here

and not fight, but to have a game of badminton instead.

To talk to each other in the shower afterwards.

To share each other's deodorants.

To talk to one another, Beverly.

To, I'm not ashamed to say it --

to love one another.

You see Beverly, in my book, a leisure centre is not for playing sport.

It's a cathedral for the modern community.

Let me give you an example.

Do you know what the pool is being used for this morning?

Swimming?

That's wrong as well, isn't it?

It's being used for a wedding, Beverly.

A young man in the scuba club is getting married in it.

Now, he could have chosen the church or Registry Office, but no,

he decided to come here, and I think that's rather significant, don't you?

You see Beverly, I have this dream...

Excuse me. Brittas.

Yes, Colin? What, actually in the pool?

I'll be right down. Excuse me, Beverley.

Okay, how did it happen?

The service was going fine and the bride and groom

were just giving each other the thumbs up sign.

And then Vic, that's the best man dropped the ring -I think he may have been...

It went down the grating, Mr. Brittas.

And when he swam to pick it up. -He got his finger stuck.

Yes, I know that Colin. That's why I'm here.

Well, Gavin, how's it going?

He's not happy, Mr. Brittas. He gave me this message.

I am running -- His writing's not up to much is it?

He is using his left hand. -He's got his other hand stuck in the grating you see.

Yes, I am aware of that, thank you, Colin.

I am running... Can you see where he's running?

I think it's "out of air" Mr. Brittas.

Air? How do you make "air" from that?

It's not so much the writing. More the colour of his face - sort of purplish.

Vicar, can we borrow your tank? -Oh yes, of course.

Right, Gavin, I've got here a bar of soap. I want you to rub it round his finger.

It might just do the trick.

Now, I have a 5 school swimming gala due in here at 12.

What exactly is our situation?

Have you finished the service? -Oh, yes, they're married alright.

Without a ring?

I think he had a spare one down his trunks, Mr. Brittas.

Good.

Look, do you need us any more? -Pardon?

It's just that I'm wanted outside for the photos.

Oh, I see.

Could you possibly tell Rick that we're having a couple of pints across

at The Bricklayers before the reception, if he'd care to join us.

Right.

Thank you.

It's no good Mister Brittas.

It keeps slipping out of your hands.

It's probably all that water.

Colin. Perhaps you could do something useful,

like clearing the changing rooms and telling Carol

the pool is closed until further notice. -Why?

We cannot take any risks in a situation like this.

What if some small child became entangled in his tail coat?

The legal problems do not bear thinking about.

Gavin. We're going to take that grating out.

You'd better come with me and get a screwdriver.

Just one moment, Mr. Brittas. -What's that? - Here.

Please don't be long. I had the curry last night.

Any idea what's happening?

No idea. There seems to be some sort of problem.

Well, will they be long? -They may be if Gordon's sorting it out.

I've often wondered, how did you and Gordon meet?

You mean why did I marry him?

Well, sort of.

I don't know. I have never been very lucky with men.

Yeah.

We met on the hard shoulder of the M6, just outside Birmingham.

Well, that doesn't sound a very promising start.

No. I was just recovering from a rather messy divorce, and for some

unknown reason, I'd let this ape called Terry take me to the Caravan Show.

Anyway, we broke down on the way home. Engine just died.

And suddenly, from out of nowhere, there was Gordon

clutching his little set of socket spanners.

And you'd never met him before? -No.

And he was marvellous. Took one look at the engine and said

"Someone's not been cleaning those spark plugs properly, have they?"

I'd never heard anyone talk to Terry like that before.

I just laughed. Terry told him to shut up.

And Gordon said he thought perhaps women deserve

better language than that, and it went on from there.

Eventually, Gordon said he thought we should all

sit down, apologise to each other, and shake hands.

And Terry hit him over the head with a tyre lever.

It was that long, hot summer of 83. Do you remember?

And visiting him in the hospital, I really did get quite fond of him.

I mean, he was quite different from how he is now.

Then, he was drifting in and out of a coma with his jaw bound.

I thought he was wonderful

He can be very charming -- sometimes.

And loyal. -Oh, he's very...

well, you know.

He seems to care about things.

Oh, he's...

Yes.

It's our wedding anniversary today.

I thought you looked a bit down.

Screwdriver. Screwdriver.

There we are Gavin. If you'd just like to sign for it there.

Right, Beverly, where were we?

You were telling me all about the centre, Mr. Brittas.

How you wanted people to play sport.

Was I? Are you sure?

Oh no, it's not just meant for that.

Oh, I see. I did wonder.

You've got all those squash courts and everything downstairs.

Let me tell you a story Beverly. When I was a student at Loughborough,

we had a chap in digs, who always had his nose in a book

reading about politics or philosophy. Anything to avoid talking to you.

You know the sort. Now, I used to coach a little football team

for underprivileged lads down in the docks, and every week

I would ask this chap if he wanted to play.

And every week he'd make up some excuse,

like he had exams or something. Or he didn't like football.

But I kept plugging away, until one day, just after his mother died, I think it was,

he gave in and he said, alright, Gordon, you win, I'll play.

And he played one game, and for that one game,

that one game, he was part of the team.

He belonged.

And I don't think he'll ever forget that day, Beverly.

In fact, that's what he told me years later,

when I ran into him quite by accident at a petrol station.

He was polishing cars out in the forecourt.

And when I saw what he made of his life, the shine he was putting

on those bonnets, the pride he must have felt wearing

those General Motors overalls.

That is when I realised that sport can change people's lives.

You see, Beverly,

I have a dream.

They've let down your tyres in the car park again, Mr. Brittas.

Ah, Angie.

And they were trying to push a potato up the exhaust, but Laura stopped them.

She said if you've got a moment, can you pop down to reception?

What now? Well, now that's another thing I've learned, Beverly. The buck stops here.

Coming to work here, are you?

Yeah, well either here or the chemist's.

Choices, choices eh? -Yeah.

I've already done me interview with the chemist. He suggested I come up here.

So what do you make of Head Girl?

Pardon? -Mr. Brittas.

Oh, he's very impressive, isn't he?

He's been telling me all about bringing everyone together.

He's got this dream of World Peace you know? -Yeah.

He has mentioned it.

Imagine what sort of world it would be if everyone was like him, eh?

Hmm. It's quite a thought, isn't it?

They're bailiffs, mother. They can take whatever they want.

Is everything alright, Carol? -Hello, Mr. Brittas. Fine.

I think Laura wanted to see me.

Sorry, I can't talk to you now, mother. Yes, yes, you have a nice day too. Bye.

What's this? -What?

All this water on the floor.

I take it it's those people in flippers, Mr. Brittas.

It's all up hill some days, Carol, isn't it?

How can I help you?

Sorry. I'm sorry, but I cannot let this pass without comment.

There is water all over the floor in there.

Don't you think it's a tiny bit selfish, leaving the place with water slopping

about all over the floor? Other people have to use this centre too you know.

Semper omnibus facultas. Don't you understand what that means?

All right, all right. I know it's a festive occasion

and I don't want to put a dampener on proceedings,

but I will leave you with one final thought. Would you do it in your own home?

Alright? Point taken?

We'll say no more about it then.

Excuse me

Were you the one caught sticking a potato up his exhaust earlier? -Sorry.

Well.

How about trying it again -- with a golf ball?

If only people would realise it's their centre, Carol. It's not my centre.

That's the whole point. It belongs to everyone.

Come on. Out I mean, it out.

Laura? - Come on. All the way. No sneaking back, come on.

Laura, what are you doing?

I'm just telling Mister Appleby he's not welcome in the Centre.

Laura. Laura, I cannot believe I'm hearing this. I'm very sorry.

There's been a slight misunderstanding. You go on in and enjoy yourself.

You're very welcome. Have a nice day. -Mr. Brittas, you don't understand.

I understand perfectly, just because a man's in a wheelchair...

He's drunk! -What?

He's got a 24 pack of Guinness in his shopping pannier. And 18 of them are empty!

You mean he's not disabled at all, he's just pretending?

No no no, he's disabled alright. He gets an allowance.

And he uses it to get drunk. How ungrateful can you get?

I found him in the girl's changing room.

You mean he's some sort of Peeping Tom?

There's no peeping about it.

He was parked there watching me get undressed.

I was too embarrassed to throw him out.

Well, I'm not.

Ah Colin. -Yes, Mr. Brittas?

There's a man down there in an invalid car.

Yes, it's nice isn't it when people like that...

I want you to ask him to leave. -Are you sure?

We don't want his sort in here, just get rid of him, will you.

If you say so, Mr. Brittas.

What is it Gavin?

Well, this doesn't seem to fit the screws on

the grille, Mr. Brittas. We need a Philips. -What?

One of those ones with little criss cross on the end.

Yes, I know what a Philips screwdriver is, Gavin. What's the problem?

We can't seem to find one to unscrew the grille in the pool.

Well, you'd better go and buy one, hadn't you.

I think the centre could rise to the expense of a small screwdriver, don't you?

Alright Mr. Brittas.

Gavin. -Yes? -Not the place in the High Street. -Sorry?

I've never really trusted them. They were difficult about a roof rack I brought back.

So I'd rather you go to Homebase.

Yes, Mr. Brittas.

Gavin, don't forget a receipt. And mind how you go.

Tim? -I just thought you ought to know there's a man

in an invalid car throwing beer cans into the squash court.

Beer cans?

Do you realise we built ramps for people like that.

And then he has this extraordinary self confidence.

Nothing seems to dent it does it, ever?

No. You know when we left the last place, the staff got him this present, which

surprised me for a start. It was a print of General Gordon on the steps of Khartoum.

You know, the one with the spear in his chest.

Very heroic. -And written along the spear in tiny letters it said

From all the staff at Aldershot.

It's one of his proudest possessions. He saw the writing,

and just thinks they were too shy to sign it properly.

So he sees himself as a sort of General Gordon?

No, no, I think he models himself more on Mother Theresa. -What?

They do have a certain amount in common.

I mean they both care a great deal. They want desperately to help.

And they both have this idea that God's called them for some special purpose.

The only real difference is

I don't think God was trying to call Gordon at all.

I think he just overheard a message for someone else.

Gordon's just not qualified to be some sort of Messiah.

He should be somewhere at the back, shouldn't he? Tidying the hymn books.

The only trouble is, if you think Gordon is a bit limited,

what does that make the woman who married him?

So, you haven't any exams?

I'm not interested in academic qualifications, Beverly Pearson.

The sort of people I want are visionaries, dreamers, idealists,

but, who have a practical, no nonsense, down to Earth common sense.

Well, if... -They have to be individualists,

who can think for themselves and work on their own,

but who can still be part of an integrated disciplined team. -Right.

They have to be quiet, caring listening sort of people,

but at the same time, quick witted, resourceful

and able to deal with problems quickly and decisively.

It's no good, Mr. Brittas.

Could you knock, do you think, Colin?

It's no good, Mr. Brittas, I can't catch him.

He's in an invalid car, Colin.

Those things have a maximum speed of eight miles an hour.

He's put a matchstick in the governor, Mr. Brittas.

I reckon he's doing over 30 down the long corridors.

Can't we call the police?

I'm not going to be the laughing stock down at the station twice in one week, Colin.

If 38 staff in a physical training establishment

can't stop one drunk in a wheelchair.

30 miles an hour? He can't keep it up forever, can he?

His batteries will give out.

Yes, but how soon?

Well, it shouldn't be too difficult to find out.

He's half terrified the Roly Poly Club.

Old Mrs Bob Sweetie's still wedged behind the wall bars.

I thought we could raise some sort of trap? -What?

Something to slow him down. You know, like

throwing a load of tin tacks in front of him and bursting his tyres.

You're not thinking it through, Colin.

What if some small child fell on them and poked both its eyes out? What then, eh?

How'd that look in the tabloid press?

Hello, is that Everest Invalid Cars?

No no no no no. I just want to find out how long the batteries last.

That long, eh?

Yes, it is a great step forward.

Up to 18 hours.

Angie, I want you to bring me in the architect's plans.

Now, Colin, where did you last see...

Brittas.

Has he? Whose clothes?

Well, give her a blanket and tell her to keep off the corridors.

Plans, Mr. Brittas.

Right, Colin, I want you to tell me where you last saw him.

Outside the weights room, Mr. Brittas.

Right and Linda said he was last sighted here outside

the showers, which means he's heading this way.

Now, I reckon if we cut him off here. -How do we do that Mr. Brittas?

Some sort of barricade I'd have thought.

You could use cardboard boxes. -What?

Like what they do in the films.

Stack up a lot of boxes and they break your fall.

Well done Beverly Pearson. You're getting the hang of this already, aren't you?

Cardboard boxes, Colin.

Yeah, but what if he comes back around the other way, Mr. Brittas?

Ah, well, he won't be able to, will he, Colin?

Cos what I'm gonna do is cut off these doors

here and here, leaving him trapped here.

He must escaped from the lift, Colin. You take the 2nd floor, I'll look down here.

Hello, Carol. How are things?

Oh, hello Mrs. Brittas. Fine.

I wanted to say, about the lilos... -You keep them till you get your beds back.

You're very kind. I'm afraid you just missed Mr. Brittas.

Oh that's alright. -We came in for a swim but the pool doesn't

seem to be open. -So we thought we might try a game of badminton.

I'm afraid the gymnasium's closed off.

Game of squash? -Could we borrow some rackets, Carol?

Yes, of course.

He must have gone your way, Colin.

You'd better start by sealing off the squash courts,

then close off the fire doors in the conference suite,

make sure the upstairs changing rooms were evacuated,

then ask Gavin to bring the keys down to me, alright?

Everything alright, Gordon?

Oh, darling. I see you persuaded Pat to come in and take my advice.

What advice?

Popping in here to tone up the flab.

Or lose a few pounds is it, Pat?

We were hoping to have a swim.

Ah, unfortunately... -Then, we thought a game of squash.

But you seem to be closing the place down around us,

and we wondered if it was safe to sit on the stairs and read a book. haha.

You're a tonic, you are, darling.

Am I?- Here I am going quietly up the wall and you come in with

a few gentle jokes and put the whole thing back in perspective.

How did I manage that?

Meeting here this evening are we? -I'll be here. -Babysitter organised?

Pam's volunteered, haven't you Pam?

Just checking. Well done, Pat.

You're going out tonight?

The anniversary. Every year he books tickets for a show in London.

Dinner, Hotel... -And you want me to babysit?

No, not really. -No? -No. We never actually get there.

We usually have to settle for a takeaway Chinese.

Oh!

Would you like me to hang around just in case?

A burst radiator pipe? Don't move. I'm on my way.

I shouldn't bother.

Carol, that radiator was leaking rather close to the fuse box.

So close off the solarium and the sauna, alright?

Mr. Brittas. It's the barrier. Cardboard boxes like you said.

Colin, I meant a few cardboard boxes scattered around to slow him down.

This is a -- you can't even see over it.

You can if you stand on the fire step Mr. Brittas. -Fire step?

I thought if we all got up here and we each

have one of these, we could shoot his tyres out.

This is not guerilla warfare. We're not trying to ambush a Nazi patrol.

I've got the screwdriver, Mr. Brittas.

One moment please, Gavin. I think we'd all feel a lot safer

if you brought that thing down here.

Trouble is, I can't get through to the pool.

Gavin, please. -Somebody's has locked the main door.

Gavin, even the best of us can only deal with one thing at a time.

Now, Colin, I want you to get this thing down to a manageable size, please.

Yes but I... -All we're try to do is stop a man

in an invalid car long enough for me to explain to him,

quietly but firmly, that he has to leave.

At the moment we can't even see him coming.

I thought we'd hear him. -How can we possibly hear him, Colin? It's electric.

That's the whole point. They don't make any noise.

If we leave it like this, the first we're going to know about it

is when he comes crashing through there at 30 miles an hour.

You bastard!

You won't get away with this.

Mr. Brittas.

You'll pay for every penny of damage, do you hear me?

Mr. Brittas. -Every penny! What is it Colin?

I think I've shot Gavin.

I was a bit surprised you see,

and I gave a little jump and I think it must have gone off.

Talk to me Gavin. Say something.

Alright, alright Tim, let's see if we can't pull this thing out.

I'm not sure that's wise, Mr. Brittas. He's got barbs... -He's got blood. He's hurt.

I don't think so. He's more sort of pinned.

Alright, come on, let's not get hysterical about this, Tim.

Carol, I think you'd better call an ambulance

and tell the police we've got a maniac loose in an invalid car.

He could be bleeding to death. We can't just wait for an ambulance.

Alright, alright, alright, alright. I'll tell you what we'll do.

Any sign of that ambulance yet, Carol?

Not yet, Mr. Brittas. -Maybe they've boycotted us again, Mr. Brittas.

Good grief, what are you doing?

He got into the antenatal class Mr. Brittas.

Is this one of our doors?

He drove straight in and ran over a demonstration doll.

Mrs. Ferris went into labour with the shock.

It is. It is, isn't it. It's a leisure centre door.

She needs to get hospital straight away.

You can't go round ripping off doors just because a woman is gonna have a baby.

I don't see why she can't have a door. Gavin's got one.

We didn't have much choice with Gavin. He was nailed to the damn thing.

Couldn't you have carried her down? Given her a fireman's lift or something?

You can't sling a pregnant woman over your shoulder, Mr. Brittas!

One jolt and she'd have the baby all down your back.

Ambulance is here, Mr. Brittas.

Alright, Colin. Get them out. Gavin...

Push. Push. Not you, Mrs. Ferris!

What is it Carol? -Linda, she's got a problem.

She's got a problem. Where is she?

Squash court corridor.

That's condensation, Linda.

It's taking the paint off Mr Brittas. -What?

It came from inside the carboys. -What carboys?

They must have got smashed when that man came through.

You mean to say there was something inside those cardboard boxes?

It was Colin's idea. He wanted to give it a bit of weight.

Hang about! This is sodium hypo chloride for the pool.

Well, I think it's alright now.

What are you talking about? How could it be alright?

It seems to have seeped away.

Well, we seem to have had a small spillage.

I wondered what particular precautions we should take?

About 35 gallons.

No, we've already rung the police.

Well, most of it seems to have sort of trickled away.

If it comes into contact with what?

That would make chlorine gas, would it?

Well, it shouldn't be too difficult to find out.

What particular symptoms should I look for?

Coughing and vomiting!

Excuse me, I've got 52 here for an activity session. We're not too early are we?

Right I want you to get those injured people down the fire escape

and into the ambulances, alright?

Phil, organise breathing masks and check the rest of the building.

Laura, set up a first aid station outside the emergency exit. -Right.

Linda, get me a full list of names and addresses of people leaving.

Don't forget compensation forms and damage claims, alright?

Patrick, make sure the car park's clear for the Fire Brigade.

Debbie get on to the hospital, get me a full list of casualties, alright?

Colin. -Yeah? -Put the kettle on.

Now, Angie, when the Chief Inspector arrives, show him straight in.

I filled in the application form, Mr. Brittas.

What? Oh, yes.

To be honest.

I don't know if I'm cut out for this sort of thing. -What?

Well, I thought working here would be about sport, you see.

Didn't realise you'd have to know what to do

if people were gassed or nailed to a door.

Well, don't decide yet, Beverly. Think about it.

I've thought about it, Mr Brittas, and if you don't mind,

I think I'll probably take that job at the chemist.

Not too disappointed, I hope darling?

Why? -About this evening. The anniversary.

No. I've cancelled dinner and the show.

Did you? Good. And you've told Pam? -Hmm?

That we wouldn't be needing a babysitter.

She knows.

Sorry, darling.

Still, plenty more years, eh? -I suppose so.

This thing doesn't seem to be going up at all.

I had a nice girl in for interview today.

For a job?

Young, keen. Just the sort we need, I thought.

She didn't take it, did she?

Well, in fairness to her, she didn't actually say no.

I think I'll call her in the morning.

Had that spark. It's like looking at myself 10 years ago.

This one's not going up either.

Now, I haven't forgotten anything, have I?

Like what?

I'm sure there was something else I meant to do.

Just close the door and let's go home, Gordon.

Doors. What would I do without you, darling? I never rang the builders.

We've got 3 doors missing in the centre.

Never mind, I'll deal with it in the morning.

I thought we might stop off on the way home and pick up a takeaway. That's always nice.

Fine.

I wish I could remember what it was.

I thought you just had.

No, it was something else.

Never mind. It will come to me in the morning.