Original subtitles

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[DOOR SLAMS]

>> CLIFF, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? >> UH, JUST CELEBRATING THE MORNING OFF, DEAR.

>> UH, JUST CELEBRATING THE MORNING OFF, DEAR. >> CLIFF, IT'S 6 O'CLOCK.

THE MORNING OFF, DEAR. >> CLIFF, IT'S 6 O'CLOCK. >> GOOD, THAT MEANS I'VE ONLY

>> CLIFF, IT'S 6 O'CLOCK. >> GOOD, THAT MEANS I'VE ONLY USED UP A HALF HOUR.

>> GOOD, THAT MEANS I'VE ONLY USED UP A HALF HOUR. >> OH, THAT LOOKS GOOD.

USED UP A HALF HOUR. >> OH, THAT LOOKS GOOD. >> WAIT UNTIL I PUT ON

>> OH, THAT LOOKS GOOD. >> WAIT UNTIL I PUT ON THE GOOSEBERRY KIWI JAM.

>> WAIT UNTIL I PUT ON THE GOOSEBERRY KIWI JAM. MMM, MMM, MMM.

THE GOOSEBERRY KIWI JAM. MMM, MMM, MMM. MMM, MMM.

MMM, MMM, MMM. MMM, MMM. >> ARE YOU GONNA SHARE?

MMM, MMM. >> ARE YOU GONNA SHARE? >> NOPE.

>> ARE YOU GONNA SHARE? >> NOPE. >> OH, MAYBE.

HE-HE-HE-HE-HE! >> THANKS A LOT. >> EAT UP.

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, YOU KNOW THAT? HM-HM-HM-HM-HM!

YOU KNOW THAT? HM-HM-HM-HM-HM! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

HM-HM-HM-HM-HM! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! >> CLIFF.

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! >> CLIFF. [GROWLING]

>> CLIFF. [GROWLING] WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE,

[GROWLING] WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. I'M GONNA BE LATE FOR WORK.

WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. I'M GONNA BE LATE FOR WORK. >> NO, I WANT TO KISS YOU

I'M GONNA BE LATE FOR WORK. >> NO, I WANT TO KISS YOU UNTIL IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO

>> NO, I WANT TO KISS YOU UNTIL IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO TO WORK.

UNTIL IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO TO WORK. >> BUT I'LL BE LATE.

TO WORK. >> BUT I'LL BE LATE. >> YES, BUT AT LEAST YOU'LL

>> BUT I'LL BE LATE. >> YES, BUT AT LEAST YOU'LL GO TO WORK WITH A SMILE

>> YES, BUT AT LEAST YOU'LL GO TO WORK WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE.

ON YOUR FACE. >> YES, BUT EVERY TIME I GO

>> YES, BUT EVERY TIME I GO TO WORK WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE,

TO WORK WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE, EVERYBODY KNOWS WHY I'M LATE.

EVERYBODY KNOWS WHY I'M LATE. OH, WELL, I GUESS I COULD

OH, WELL, I GUESS I COULD ALWAYS SNEAK IN THE BACK WAY.

ALWAYS SNEAK IN THE BACK WAY. >> YOU FOOL, THERE IS

>> YOU FOOL, THERE IS NO BACK WAY.

NO BACK WAY. [KNOCKING]

>> WHO IS IT? >> IT'S RUDY. >> WHAT DO YOU WANT, RUDY?

>> IT'S RUDY. >> WHAT DO YOU WANT, RUDY? >> I'M UP.

>> WHAT DO YOU WANT, RUDY? >> I'M UP. >> GOOD.

>> I'M UP. >> GOOD. >> IT'S SNOWING OUTSIDE

>> GOOD. >> IT'S SNOWING OUTSIDE MY WINDOW.

>> IT'S SNOWING OUTSIDE MY WINDOW. IS IT SNOWING OUTSIDE YOURS?

MY WINDOW. IS IT SNOWING OUTSIDE YOURS? >> YES.

IS IT SNOWING OUTSIDE YOURS? >> YES. >> CAN I SEE?

>> YES. >> CAN I SEE? >> UH, HON, LISTEN IT'S EARLY

>> CAN I SEE? >> UH, HON, LISTEN IT'S EARLY IN THE MORNING.

>> UH, HON, LISTEN IT'S EARLY IN THE MORNING. >> CAN I SEE MOMMY?

IN THE MORNING. >> CAN I SEE MOMMY? >> THERE'S MOMMY.

>> CAN I SEE MOMMY? >> THERE'S MOMMY. >> GOOD MORNING, RUDY.

>> THERE'S MOMMY. >> GOOD MORNING, RUDY. >> MORNING, MOMMY.

>> GOOD MORNING, RUDY. >> MORNING, MOMMY. >> WHO WANTS TO PLAY?

>> MORNING, MOMMY. >> WHO WANTS TO PLAY? >> YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE

>> WHO WANTS TO PLAY? >> YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE PLAYING RIGHT NOW.

>> YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE PLAYING RIGHT NOW. >> NO YOU'RE NOT!

PLAYING RIGHT NOW. >> NO YOU'RE NOT! >> LISTEN, COME HERE A SECOND.

>> NO YOU'RE NOT! >> LISTEN, COME HERE A SECOND. IT'S EARLY IN THE MORNING,

>> LISTEN, COME HERE A SECOND. IT'S EARLY IN THE MORNING, HONEY.

IT'S EARLY IN THE MORNING, HONEY. YOU KNOW THAT LOVELY BOOK THAT

HONEY. YOU KNOW THAT LOVELY BOOK THAT DAD BOUGHT YOU WITH

YOU KNOW THAT LOVELY BOOK THAT DAD BOUGHT YOU WITH THE PICTURES AND SOME

DAD BOUGHT YOU WITH THE PICTURES AND SOME OF THE WORDS?

THE PICTURES AND SOME OF THE WORDS? WHY DON'T YOU GO READ THAT

OF THE WORDS? WHY DON'T YOU GO READ THAT IN YOUR ROOM, OKAY?

WHY DON'T YOU GO READ THAT IN YOUR ROOM, OKAY? >> OKAY.

IN YOUR ROOM, OKAY? >> OKAY. >> BYE-BYE.

>> OKAY. >> BYE-BYE. AND NOW.

>> BYE-BYE. AND NOW. NOW I WAS KISSING YOU UNTIL

AND NOW. NOW I WAS KISSING YOU UNTIL IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO

NOW I WAS KISSING YOU UNTIL IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO TO WORK--

IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO TO WORK-- >> LOOK AT--CLIFF,

TO WORK-- >> LOOK AT--CLIFF, LOOK AT THAT, YOU GOT A RIP

>> LOOK AT--CLIFF, LOOK AT THAT, YOU GOT A RIP IN YOUR PAJAMAS.

LOOK AT THAT, YOU GOT A RIP IN YOUR PAJAMAS. >> YOU'RE KIDDING.

IN YOUR PAJAMAS. >> YOU'RE KIDDING. >> WELL, THERE GOES.

>> YOU'RE KIDDING. >> WELL, THERE GOES. >> HONEY, WHY YOU ALWAYS

>> WELL, THERE GOES. >> HONEY, WHY YOU ALWAYS WEARING THESE OLD PAJAMAS?

>> HONEY, WHY YOU ALWAYS WEARING THESE OLD PAJAMAS? >> 'CAUSE THEY'RE COMFORTABLE.

WEARING THESE OLD PAJAMAS? >> 'CAUSE THEY'RE COMFORTABLE. I LIKE 'EM.

>> 'CAUSE THEY'RE COMFORTABLE. I LIKE 'EM. >> BUT WHY DON'T YOU EVER WEAR

I LIKE 'EM. >> BUT WHY DON'T YOU EVER WEAR THE NEW ONES I BOUGHT YOU

>> BUT WHY DON'T YOU EVER WEAR THE NEW ONES I BOUGHT YOU FOR FATHER'S DAY?

THE NEW ONES I BOUGHT YOU FOR FATHER'S DAY? >> YOU GAVE ME THOSE

FOR FATHER'S DAY? >> YOU GAVE ME THOSE SILK PAJAMAS.

>> YOU GAVE ME THOSE SILK PAJAMAS. I DON'T LIKE SILK BECAUSE

SILK PAJAMAS. I DON'T LIKE SILK BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'M SLIDING AROUND

I DON'T LIKE SILK BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'M SLIDING AROUND IN 'EM.

I FEEL LIKE I'M SLIDING AROUND IN 'EM. >> YOU KNOW, YOU NEVER WEAR

IN 'EM. >> YOU KNOW, YOU NEVER WEAR THAT BATHROBE I BOUGHT YOU

>> YOU KNOW, YOU NEVER WEAR THAT BATHROBE I BOUGHT YOU FOR FATHER'S DAY EITHER.

THAT BATHROBE I BOUGHT YOU FOR FATHER'S DAY EITHER. >> NOW YOU WANT TO KNOW

FOR FATHER'S DAY EITHER. >> NOW YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THAT BATHROBE?

>> NOW YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THAT BATHROBE? IT'S SO SHORT, I FEEL LIKE

ABOUT THAT BATHROBE? IT'S SO SHORT, I FEEL LIKE A ROMAN SOLDIER.

IT'S SO SHORT, I FEEL LIKE A ROMAN SOLDIER. >> YOU KNOW, COME TO THINK

A ROMAN SOLDIER. >> YOU KNOW, COME TO THINK OF IT, YOU NEVER WEAR ANY

>> YOU KNOW, COME TO THINK OF IT, YOU NEVER WEAR ANY OF YOUR FATHER'S DAY GIFTS.

OF IT, YOU NEVER WEAR ANY OF YOUR FATHER'S DAY GIFTS. >> THE REASON WHY I DON'T WEAR

OF YOUR FATHER'S DAY GIFTS. >> THE REASON WHY I DON'T WEAR 'EM, DEAR, IS BECAUSE WHEN YOU

>> THE REASON WHY I DON'T WEAR 'EM, DEAR, IS BECAUSE WHEN YOU GO TO GET ME PRESENTS, YOU GO

'EM, DEAR, IS BECAUSE WHEN YOU GO TO GET ME PRESENTS, YOU GO TO GET ME THINGS THAT YOU WANT

GO TO GET ME PRESENTS, YOU GO TO GET ME THINGS THAT YOU WANT TO SEE ME IN.

TO GET ME THINGS THAT YOU WANT TO SEE ME IN. YOU DON'T GET ME THINGS THAT

TO SEE ME IN. YOU DON'T GET ME THINGS THAT I LIKE.

YOU DON'T GET ME THINGS THAT I LIKE. >> CLIFF, THAT'S NOT TRUE.

I LIKE. >> CLIFF, THAT'S NOT TRUE. >> YES, IT IS TRUE.

>> CLIFF, THAT'S NOT TRUE. >> YES, IT IS TRUE. YOU SEE, FATHER'S DAY HAS BEEN

>> YES, IT IS TRUE. YOU SEE, FATHER'S DAY HAS BEEN LIKE THAT FOR A LONG,

YOU SEE, FATHER'S DAY HAS BEEN LIKE THAT FOR A LONG, LONG TIME.

LIKE THAT FOR A LONG, LONG TIME. THERE ARE FATHERS ALL OVER

LONG TIME. THERE ARE FATHERS ALL OVER THE WORLD WHO GET PRESENTS THAT

THERE ARE FATHERS ALL OVER THE WORLD WHO GET PRESENTS THAT THEY CAN'T USE AND DON'T WANT.

THE WORLD WHO GET PRESENTS THAT THEY CAN'T USE AND DON'T WANT. NO, I'M SERIOUS.

THEY CAN'T USE AND DON'T WANT. NO, I'M SERIOUS. FROM DAY ONE, WHEN EVE

NO, I'M SERIOUS. FROM DAY ONE, WHEN EVE AND THE BOYS GAVE ADAM THE FIRST

FROM DAY ONE, WHEN EVE AND THE BOYS GAVE ADAM THE FIRST SOAP ON THE ROPE.

AND THE BOYS GAVE ADAM THE FIRST SOAP ON THE ROPE. >> OH, CLIFF, COME ON.

SOAP ON THE ROPE. >> OH, CLIFF, COME ON. >> I'M NOT KIDDING.

>> OH, CLIFF, COME ON. >> I'M NOT KIDDING. LISTEN, HONEST ABE.

>> I'M NOT KIDDING. LISTEN, HONEST ABE. I HAVE A CLOSET HERE THAT IS

LISTEN, HONEST ABE. I HAVE A CLOSET HERE THAT IS FULL OF PRESENTS THAT THEY SELL

I HAVE A CLOSET HERE THAT IS FULL OF PRESENTS THAT THEY SELL ONLY ON ONE HOLIDAY,

FULL OF PRESENTS THAT THEY SELL ONLY ON ONE HOLIDAY, FATHER'S DAY.

ONLY ON ONE HOLIDAY, FATHER'S DAY. NOW LOOK AT THIS, I GOT A CHEST

FATHER'S DAY. NOW LOOK AT THIS, I GOT A CHEST FULL OF STUFF HERE, AND I SAVED

NOW LOOK AT THIS, I GOT A CHEST FULL OF STUFF HERE, AND I SAVED THESE THINGS BECAUSE I KNOW

FULL OF STUFF HERE, AND I SAVED THESE THINGS BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ONE DAY I WILL BE ABOUT

THESE THINGS BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ONE DAY I WILL BE ABOUT 70 YEARS OLD, AND MY CHILDREN

THAT ONE DAY I WILL BE ABOUT 70 YEARS OLD, AND MY CHILDREN WILL COME TO ME AND SAY,

70 YEARS OLD, AND MY CHILDREN WILL COME TO ME AND SAY, "WHERE'S THE GIFTS I GAVE YOU

WILL COME TO ME AND SAY, "WHERE'S THE GIFTS I GAVE YOU FOR FATHER'S DAY?"

"WHERE'S THE GIFTS I GAVE YOU FOR FATHER'S DAY?" AND IF I DON'T HAVE 'EM,

FOR FATHER'S DAY?" AND IF I DON'T HAVE 'EM, THEY'LL BEAT ME UP.

AND IF I DON'T HAVE 'EM, THEY'LL BEAT ME UP. LOOK AT THIS, SEE THESE TIES?

THEY'LL BEAT ME UP. LOOK AT THIS, SEE THESE TIES? NONE OF THEM GO WITH ANY SUIT

LOOK AT THIS, SEE THESE TIES? NONE OF THEM GO WITH ANY SUIT I HAVE.

NONE OF THEM GO WITH ANY SUIT I HAVE. I HAVE DEODORANTS HERE,

I HAVE. I HAVE DEODORANTS HERE, ENOUGH TO HAVE ME SMELLING

I HAVE DEODORANTS HERE, ENOUGH TO HAVE ME SMELLING LIKE ANYBODY YOU WANT TO MEET.

ENOUGH TO HAVE ME SMELLING LIKE ANYBODY YOU WANT TO MEET. PIPE TOBACCO.

LIKE ANYBODY YOU WANT TO MEET. PIPE TOBACCO. I DO NOT SMOKE A PIPE.

PIPE TOBACCO. I DO NOT SMOKE A PIPE. MY CHILDREN HAVE NEVER SEEN ME

I DO NOT SMOKE A PIPE. MY CHILDREN HAVE NEVER SEEN ME SMOKE A PIPE.

MY CHILDREN HAVE NEVER SEEN ME SMOKE A PIPE. AND THE CHILD THAT GAVE ME THIS

SMOKE A PIPE. AND THE CHILD THAT GAVE ME THIS PIPE TOBACCO DIDN'T BUY ME

AND THE CHILD THAT GAVE ME THIS PIPE TOBACCO DIDN'T BUY ME A PIPE.

PIPE TOBACCO DIDN'T BUY ME A PIPE. ON TOP OF THAT, THE CHILD

A PIPE. ON TOP OF THAT, THE CHILD DIDN'T EVEN WRAP IT.

ON TOP OF THAT, THE CHILD DIDN'T EVEN WRAP IT. JUST TOOK A MAGIC MARKER

DIDN'T EVEN WRAP IT. JUST TOOK A MAGIC MARKER AND WROTE "DAD" ON IT.

JUST TOOK A MAGIC MARKER AND WROTE "DAD" ON IT. ALSO I HAVE THE FAMOUS SOAP

AND WROTE "DAD" ON IT. ALSO I HAVE THE FAMOUS SOAP ON THE ROPE, WHICH I HAVE NEVER

ALSO I HAVE THE FAMOUS SOAP ON THE ROPE, WHICH I HAVE NEVER LEARNED TO USE PROPERLY BECAUSE

ON THE ROPE, WHICH I HAVE NEVER LEARNED TO USE PROPERLY BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR FEET...

LEARNED TO USE PROPERLY BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR FEET... I'VE NOT BEEN ABLE

IF YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR FEET... I'VE NOT BEEN ABLE TO GET UP THERE YET.

I'VE NOT BEEN ABLE TO GET UP THERE YET. >> OH, CLIFF.

TO GET UP THERE YET. >> OH, CLIFF. OH, LOOK AT THIS.

>> OH, CLIFF. OH, LOOK AT THIS. I HAD FORGOTTEN--WAIT,

OH, LOOK AT THIS. I HAD FORGOTTEN--WAIT, TRY THIS, PUT THIS ON.

I HAD FORGOTTEN--WAIT, TRY THIS, PUT THIS ON. >> OH, NO.

TRY THIS, PUT THIS ON. >> OH, NO. I HAVE PLENTY OF THINGS THAT

>> OH, NO. I HAVE PLENTY OF THINGS THAT WILL LIGHT UP.

I HAVE PLENTY OF THINGS THAT WILL LIGHT UP. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

WILL LIGHT UP. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I'LL PUT THIS ON.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I'LL PUT THIS ON. >> PUT THAT ONE ON.

I'LL PUT THIS ON. >> PUT THAT ONE ON. >> GET THOSE--YOU KNOW I HAVE

>> PUT THAT ONE ON. >> GET THOSE--YOU KNOW I HAVE SUSPENDERS OVER THE THERE

>> GET THOSE--YOU KNOW I HAVE SUSPENDERS OVER THE THERE THAT SONDRA GAVE ME.

SUSPENDERS OVER THE THERE THAT SONDRA GAVE ME. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE CHILD WAS

THAT SONDRA GAVE ME. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE CHILD WAS DRINKING AT THE TIME.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE CHILD WAS DRINKING AT THE TIME. >> OH, YES, OKAY.

DRINKING AT THE TIME. >> OH, YES, OKAY. WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE,

>> OH, YES, OKAY. WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. I LOVE THIS BECAUSE THE LITTLE

WAIT A MINUTE. I LOVE THIS BECAUSE THE LITTLE MEN'S EYES LIGHT UP.

I LOVE THIS BECAUSE THE LITTLE MEN'S EYES LIGHT UP. >> YOU KNOW, I TELL YA,

MEN'S EYES LIGHT UP. >> YOU KNOW, I TELL YA, THIS IS MORE FUN.

>> YOU KNOW, I TELL YA, THIS IS MORE FUN. WE OUGHT TO DO THIS

THIS IS MORE FUN. WE OUGHT TO DO THIS IN THE MORNING OPENING

WE OUGHT TO DO THIS IN THE MORNING OPENING THE CHILDREN'S GIFTS.

IN THE MORNING OPENING THE CHILDREN'S GIFTS. OH, BOY.

THE CHILDREN'S GIFTS. OH, BOY. HOW AM I LOOKING?

OH, BOY. HOW AM I LOOKING? >> GREAT.

HOW AM I LOOKING? >> GREAT. >> YOU KNOW, I LOVE IT

>> GREAT. >> YOU KNOW, I LOVE IT WHEN YOU DRESS ME.

>> YOU KNOW, I LOVE IT WHEN YOU DRESS ME. >> OH, SHUT UP.

WHEN YOU DRESS ME. >> OH, SHUT UP. >> BOY, OH, BOY.

>> OH, SHUT UP. >> BOY, OH, BOY. >> NOW, OH, OH,

>> BOY, OH, BOY. >> NOW, OH, OH, LET'S NOT FORGET THIS.

>> NOW, OH, OH, LET'S NOT FORGET THIS. >> OH, THEO GAVE ME THIS TIE.

LET'S NOT FORGET THIS. >> OH, THEO GAVE ME THIS TIE. MY SON.

>> OH, THEO GAVE ME THIS TIE. MY SON. ISN'T THIS WONDERFUL?

MY SON. ISN'T THIS WONDERFUL? >> AM I LOOKING WONDERFUL

ISN'T THIS WONDERFUL? >> AM I LOOKING WONDERFUL OR WHAT?

>> AM I LOOKING WONDERFUL OR WHAT? >> OH!

OR WHAT? >> OH! >> HUH?

>> OH! >> HUH? >> OH, YEAH, THE YO-YO.

>> HUH? >> OH, YEAH, THE YO-YO. AM I LOOKING WONDERFUL?

>> OH, YEAH, THE YO-YO. AM I LOOKING WONDERFUL? >> YOU'RE LOOKING GREAT.

AM I LOOKING WONDERFUL? >> YOU'RE LOOKING GREAT. ARE THESE SERIOUS PRESENTS?

>> YOU'RE LOOKING GREAT. ARE THESE SERIOUS PRESENTS? FATHER'S DAY.

ARE THESE SERIOUS PRESENTS? FATHER'S DAY. I'M TELLING YOU, LAST YEAR,

FATHER'S DAY. I'M TELLING YOU, LAST YEAR, I SAT IN THE LIVING ROOM

I'M TELLING YOU, LAST YEAR, I SAT IN THE LIVING ROOM ALL FATHER'S DAY.

I SAT IN THE LIVING ROOM ALL FATHER'S DAY. CHILDREN WALKED PAST,

ALL FATHER'S DAY. CHILDREN WALKED PAST, "HI DAD, NICE TO SEE YOU."

CHILDREN WALKED PAST, "HI DAD, NICE TO SEE YOU." "HELLO, DAD."

"HI DAD, NICE TO SEE YOU." "HELLO, DAD." SOMEWHERE AROUND 4 O'CLOCK

"HELLO, DAD." SOMEWHERE AROUND 4 O'CLOCK SOMEBODY SAID,

SOMEWHERE AROUND 4 O'CLOCK SOMEBODY SAID, "IS THE MALL STILL OPEN?"

SOMEBODY SAID, "IS THE MALL STILL OPEN?" >> OH, CLIFF.

"IS THE MALL STILL OPEN?" >> OH, CLIFF. OH, IT'S NOT THAT BAD.

>> OH, CLIFF. OH, IT'S NOT THAT BAD. >> LOOK CLAIR, I'M TELLING YOU,

OH, IT'S NOT THAT BAD. >> LOOK CLAIR, I'M TELLING YOU, IT IS THAT BAD.

>> LOOK CLAIR, I'M TELLING YOU, IT IS THAT BAD. YOU MOTHERS KNOW HOW TO WORK

IT IS THAT BAD. YOU MOTHERS KNOW HOW TO WORK MOTHER'S DAY, SEE?

YOU MOTHERS KNOW HOW TO WORK MOTHER'S DAY, SEE? FIRST THING MOTHERS DO IS THEY

MOTHER'S DAY, SEE? FIRST THING MOTHERS DO IS THEY TELL THE CHILDREN HOW THEY

FIRST THING MOTHERS DO IS THEY TELL THE CHILDREN HOW THEY CARRIED 'EM ALL THAT TIME.

TELL THE CHILDREN HOW THEY CARRIED 'EM ALL THAT TIME. AND THEN THEY SAY TO

CARRIED 'EM ALL THAT TIME. AND THEN THEY SAY TO THE CHILDREN, "AND I BETTER GET

AND THEN THEY SAY TO THE CHILDREN, "AND I BETTER GET GOOD PRESENTS BECAUSE YOU KNOW

THE CHILDREN, "AND I BETTER GET GOOD PRESENTS BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHO GAVE ME THESE BLUE VEINS

GOOD PRESENTS BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHO GAVE ME THESE BLUE VEINS IN THE BACK OF MY LEGS?

WHO GAVE ME THESE BLUE VEINS IN THE BACK OF MY LEGS? >> I DO NOT, CLIFF,

IN THE BACK OF MY LEGS? >> I DO NOT, CLIFF, I DO NOT DO THAT.

>> I DO NOT, CLIFF, I DO NOT DO THAT. >> AND THAT'S WHY YOU ALL GET

I DO NOT DO THAT. >> AND THAT'S WHY YOU ALL GET GREAT PRESENTS, CLAIR, BECAUSE

>> AND THAT'S WHY YOU ALL GET GREAT PRESENTS, CLAIR, BECAUSE YOU ALL PROMOTE YOURSELVES

GREAT PRESENTS, CLAIR, BECAUSE YOU ALL PROMOTE YOURSELVES BETTER.

YOU ALL PROMOTE YOURSELVES BETTER. BUT I DON'T SAY ANYTHING

BETTER. BUT I DON'T SAY ANYTHING AND LOOK AT ME.

NOW I'M GONNA SHOW YOU SOMETHIN'. YOU THINK I'M KIDDING.

SOMETHIN'. YOU THINK I'M KIDDING. THIS IS ONE OF THE HIGHLIGHTS

YOU THINK I'M KIDDING. THIS IS ONE OF THE HIGHLIGHTS OF MY LIFE.

>> OH, CLIFF.

[MUSIC]

>> I LOVE IT WHEN IT SNOWS. >> MAYBE WE CAN MAKE A SNOWMAN BEFORE SCHOOL.

>> MAYBE WE CAN MAKE A SNOWMAN BEFORE SCHOOL. >> MAYBE THERE WON'T BE SCHOOL.

BEFORE SCHOOL. >> MAYBE THERE WON'T BE SCHOOL. >> THEO, IT HAS TO SNOW A LOT

>> MAYBE THERE WON'T BE SCHOOL. >> THEO, IT HAS TO SNOW A LOT MORE THAN THAT BEFORE THEY'LL

>> THEO, IT HAS TO SNOW A LOT MORE THAN THAT BEFORE THEY'LL CLOSE SCHOOL.

MORE THAN THAT BEFORE THEY'LL CLOSE SCHOOL. >> YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM

CLOSE SCHOOL. >> YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS?

>> YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS? YOU LIKE SCHOOL.

IS? YOU LIKE SCHOOL. YOU'D GO ON WEEKENDS IF YOU

YOU LIKE SCHOOL. YOU'D GO ON WEEKENDS IF YOU COULD.

YOU'D GO ON WEEKENDS IF YOU COULD. >> AND YOU'D DO ANYTHING TO GET

COULD. >> AND YOU'D DO ANYTHING TO GET OUT OF IT, LIKE THE TIME YOU

>> AND YOU'D DO ANYTHING TO GET OUT OF IT, LIKE THE TIME YOU ASKED MOM IF YOU COULD STAY

OUT OF IT, LIKE THE TIME YOU ASKED MOM IF YOU COULD STAY HOME FOR THE JEWISH HOLIDAYS.

ASKED MOM IF YOU COULD STAY HOME FOR THE JEWISH HOLIDAYS. >> HEY, WE'RE ALL BROTHERS.

HOME FOR THE JEWISH HOLIDAYS. >> HEY, WE'RE ALL BROTHERS. >> HI.

>> HEY, WE'RE ALL BROTHERS. >> HI. [LAUGHING]

>> HI. [LAUGHING] >> WHOA, GET DOWN, DAD.

[LAUGHING] >> WHOA, GET DOWN, DAD. >> ALL RIGHT.

>> WHOA, GET DOWN, DAD. >> ALL RIGHT. >> YOU LOOK LIKE TIMES SQUARE.

>> ALL RIGHT. >> YOU LOOK LIKE TIMES SQUARE. >> DAD, YOU OKAY?

>> YOU LOOK LIKE TIMES SQUARE. >> DAD, YOU OKAY? >> SURE.

>> DAD, YOU OKAY? >> SURE. >> DAD, YOU LOOK FUNNY.

>> SURE. >> DAD, YOU LOOK FUNNY. >> WELL, THANK YOU.

>> DAD, YOU LOOK FUNNY. >> WELL, THANK YOU. >> YOU'RE WELCOME.

>> WELL, THANK YOU. >> YOU'RE WELCOME. >> GOOD MORNING.

>> YOU'RE WELCOME. >> GOOD MORNING. >> GOOD MORNING, DENISE.

>> GOOD MORNING. >> GOOD MORNING, DENISE. >> WHAT'S GOING ON?

>> GOOD MORNING, DENISE. >> WHAT'S GOING ON? >> OH, NOTHING.

>> WHAT'S GOING ON? >> OH, NOTHING. >> DADDY, ARE YOU GOING

>> OH, NOTHING. >> DADDY, ARE YOU GOING TO WORK LIKE THAT?

>> DADDY, ARE YOU GOING TO WORK LIKE THAT? >> WHY NOT?

TO WORK LIKE THAT? >> WHY NOT? >> IT DOESN'T LOOK VERY

>> WHY NOT? >> IT DOESN'T LOOK VERY PROFESSIONAL.

>> IT DOESN'T LOOK VERY PROFESSIONAL. >> DADDY, WHY ARE YOU DRESSED

PROFESSIONAL. >> DADDY, WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE THAT?

>> DADDY, WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE THAT? >> BECAUSE I WANT TO TALK TO

LIKE THAT? >> BECAUSE I WANT TO TALK TO ALL OF YOU ABOUT FATHER'S DAY.

>> BECAUSE I WANT TO TALK TO ALL OF YOU ABOUT FATHER'S DAY. >> FATHER'S DAY?

ALL OF YOU ABOUT FATHER'S DAY. >> FATHER'S DAY? >> YES.

>> FATHER'S DAY? >> YES. IT'S 2 WEEKS BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

>> YES. IT'S 2 WEEKS BEFORE CHRISTMAS. >> IT I'M GIVING YOU

IT'S 2 WEEKS BEFORE CHRISTMAS. >> IT I'M GIVING YOU 6 MONTHS' NOTICE.

>> IT I'M GIVING YOU 6 MONTHS' NOTICE. I WANT BETTER PRESENTS.

6 MONTHS' NOTICE. I WANT BETTER PRESENTS. >> HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, LAST

I WANT BETTER PRESENTS. >> HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, LAST YEAR WE CHIPPED IN WITH MOM,

>> HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, LAST YEAR WE CHIPPED IN WITH MOM, AND WE GOT YOU THAT WALKMAN.

YEAR WE CHIPPED IN WITH MOM, AND WE GOT YOU THAT WALKMAN. >> AND I ENJOYED WATCHING MY

AND WE GOT YOU THAT WALKMAN. >> AND I ENJOYED WATCHING MY WALKMAN WALK AROUND

>> AND I ENJOYED WATCHING MY WALKMAN WALK AROUND WITH YOU ALL.

WALKMAN WALK AROUND WITH YOU ALL. I WANT SOMETHING FOR ME.

WITH YOU ALL. I WANT SOMETHING FOR ME. >> WE GAVE YOU LOTS OF HUGS

I WANT SOMETHING FOR ME. >> WE GAVE YOU LOTS OF HUGS AND KISSES.

>> WE GAVE YOU LOTS OF HUGS AND KISSES. >> OH, YES YOU DID.

AND KISSES. >> OH, YES YOU DID. AND HUGS AND KISSES,

>> OH, YES YOU DID. AND HUGS AND KISSES, MM-MM-MM!

AND HUGS AND KISSES, MM-MM-MM! I LOVE 'EM TO DEATH.

MM-MM-MM! I LOVE 'EM TO DEATH. >> DADDY, IT'S HARD TO SHOP

I LOVE 'EM TO DEATH. >> DADDY, IT'S HARD TO SHOP FOR YOU ON FATHER'S DAY.

>> DADDY, IT'S HARD TO SHOP FOR YOU ON FATHER'S DAY. >> WHY?

FOR YOU ON FATHER'S DAY. >> WHY? >> BECAUSE IT'S SO CLOSE

>> WHY? >> BECAUSE IT'S SO CLOSE TO YOUR BIRTHDAY.

>> BECAUSE IT'S SO CLOSE TO YOUR BIRTHDAY. >> FATHER'S DAY IS JUNE 16TH.

TO YOUR BIRTHDAY. >> FATHER'S DAY IS JUNE 16TH. MY BIRTHDAY IS IN OCTOBER.

>> FATHER'S DAY IS JUNE 16TH. MY BIRTHDAY IS IN OCTOBER. >> YEAH DAD, BUT THAT'S TWO

MY BIRTHDAY IS IN OCTOBER. >> YEAH DAD, BUT THAT'S TWO PRESENTS PRETTY CLOSE TOGETHER.

>> YEAH DAD, BUT THAT'S TWO PRESENTS PRETTY CLOSE TOGETHER. IT CAN WIPE YOU OUT.

PRESENTS PRETTY CLOSE TOGETHER. IT CAN WIPE YOU OUT. >> NOT IF YOU PLAN WELL.

IT CAN WIPE YOU OUT. >> NOT IF YOU PLAN WELL. LAST YEAR I FOUND A SHIRT

>> NOT IF YOU PLAN WELL. LAST YEAR I FOUND A SHIRT AND A TIE THAT CAME IN THE SAME

LAST YEAR I FOUND A SHIRT AND A TIE THAT CAME IN THE SAME PACKAGE.

AND A TIE THAT CAME IN THE SAME PACKAGE. I GAVE HIM THE TIE FOR FATHER'S

PACKAGE. I GAVE HIM THE TIE FOR FATHER'S DAY, AND I SAVED THE SHIRT

I GAVE HIM THE TIE FOR FATHER'S DAY, AND I SAVED THE SHIRT FOR HIS BIRTHDAY.

DAY, AND I SAVED THE SHIRT FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. >> AND THE SHIRT WAS TOO SMALL.

FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. >> AND THE SHIRT WAS TOO SMALL. AND THEN RUDY TOOK MY TIE

>> AND THE SHIRT WAS TOO SMALL. AND THEN RUDY TOOK MY TIE AND USED IT FOR A JUMP ROPE.

AND THEN RUDY TOOK MY TIE AND USED IT FOR A JUMP ROPE. >> DAD, IT'S REALLY NOT NICE

AND USED IT FOR A JUMP ROPE. >> DAD, IT'S REALLY NOT NICE TO DEMAND PRESENTS FROM YOUR

>> DAD, IT'S REALLY NOT NICE TO DEMAND PRESENTS FROM YOUR CHILDREN.

TO DEMAND PRESENTS FROM YOUR CHILDREN. >> ALL I'M ASKING YOU ALL TO DO

CHILDREN. >> ALL I'M ASKING YOU ALL TO DO IS THINK.

>> ALL I'M ASKING YOU ALL TO DO IS THINK. >> THINK.

IS THINK. >> THINK. >> THINK ABOUT WHAT?

>> THINK. >> THINK ABOUT WHAT? >> I DON'T KNOW.

>> THINK ABOUT WHAT? >> I DON'T KNOW. >> ABOUT WHO I AM

>> I DON'T KNOW. >> ABOUT WHO I AM AND WHAT I AM.

>> ABOUT WHO I AM AND WHAT I AM. YOU ALL HAVE LIVED WITH ME YOUR

AND WHAT I AM. YOU ALL HAVE LIVED WITH ME YOUR WHOLE LIFE, AND YOU BUY

YOU ALL HAVE LIVED WITH ME YOUR WHOLE LIFE, AND YOU BUY PRESENTS LIKE YOU JUST MET ME

WHOLE LIFE, AND YOU BUY PRESENTS LIKE YOU JUST MET ME YESTERDAY.

PRESENTS LIKE YOU JUST MET ME YESTERDAY. YOU'VE GOT 6 MONTHS.

YESTERDAY. YOU'VE GOT 6 MONTHS. SEND AWAY FOR CATALOGS.

YOU'VE GOT 6 MONTHS. SEND AWAY FOR CATALOGS. GO TO TRADE SHOWS.

SEND AWAY FOR CATALOGS. GO TO TRADE SHOWS. LOOK AROUND.

GO TO TRADE SHOWS. LOOK AROUND. AND MAYBE IF YOU SEE TWO THINGS

LOOK AROUND. AND MAYBE IF YOU SEE TWO THINGS AND YOU'RE CONFUSED ABOUT WHICH

AND MAYBE IF YOU SEE TWO THINGS AND YOU'RE CONFUSED ABOUT WHICH ONE TO GET, DON'T TORTURE

AND YOU'RE CONFUSED ABOUT WHICH ONE TO GET, DON'T TORTURE YOURSELF, GET 'EM BOTH.

ONE TO GET, DON'T TORTURE YOURSELF, GET 'EM BOTH. >> YEAH, BUT DAD?

YOURSELF, GET 'EM BOTH. >> YEAH, BUT DAD? ARE YOU SERIOUS ABOUT THIS?

>> YEAH, BUT DAD? ARE YOU SERIOUS ABOUT THIS? [LAUGHING]

ARE YOU SERIOUS ABOUT THIS? [LAUGHING] >> LOOK AT ME.

[LAUGHING] >> LOOK AT ME. NOW WOULD YOU GO OUT

>> LOOK AT ME. NOW WOULD YOU GO OUT IN THE STREET LOOKING LIKE THIS?

NOW WOULD YOU GO OUT IN THE STREET LOOKING LIKE THIS? >> NO.

IN THE STREET LOOKING LIKE THIS? >> NO. >> SEE, THERE'S THE DIFFERENCE.

>> NO. >> SEE, THERE'S THE DIFFERENCE. I WOULD.

>> SEE, THERE'S THE DIFFERENCE. I WOULD. I WOULD GO OUTSIDE

I WOULD. I WOULD GO OUTSIDE LOOKING LIKE THIS.

I WOULD GO OUTSIDE LOOKING LIKE THIS. WHY?

LOOKING LIKE THIS. WHY? BECAUSE MY CHILDREN BOUGHT THIS

WHY? BECAUSE MY CHILDREN BOUGHT THIS FOR ME, AND I LOVE 'EM.

BECAUSE MY CHILDREN BOUGHT THIS FOR ME, AND I LOVE 'EM. NOW ONE DAY YOU'RE GONNA

FOR ME, AND I LOVE 'EM. NOW ONE DAY YOU'RE GONNA BECOME A FATHER.

NOW ONE DAY YOU'RE GONNA BECOME A FATHER. YOU'RE GOING TO GET

BECOME A FATHER. YOU'RE GOING TO GET ALL OF THESE THINGS

YOU'RE GOING TO GET ALL OF THESE THINGS FOR FATHER'S DAY.

ALL OF THESE THINGS FOR FATHER'S DAY. WHY?

FOR FATHER'S DAY. WHY? BECAUSE I'M COMING OVER TO YOUR

WHY? BECAUSE I'M COMING OVER TO YOUR HOUSE AND I'M SELLING THESE

BECAUSE I'M COMING OVER TO YOUR HOUSE AND I'M SELLING THESE TO YOUR CHILDREN.

HOUSE AND I'M SELLING THESE TO YOUR CHILDREN. >> DAD, I'D LIKE TO GET YOU

TO YOUR CHILDREN. >> DAD, I'D LIKE TO GET YOU BETTER THINGS, BUT I JUST DON'T

>> DAD, I'D LIKE TO GET YOU BETTER THINGS, BUT I JUST DON'T HAVE THE MONEY.

BETTER THINGS, BUT I JUST DON'T HAVE THE MONEY. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT A LOT

HAVE THE MONEY. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT A LOT OF MONEY.

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT A LOT OF MONEY. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT

OF MONEY. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT AN APARTMENT BUILDING

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT AN APARTMENT BUILDING OR A TRAILER HOME, JUST A SIMPLE

AN APARTMENT BUILDING OR A TRAILER HOME, JUST A SIMPLE BOUQUET OF FLOWERS.

OR A TRAILER HOME, JUST A SIMPLE BOUQUET OF FLOWERS. >> OKAY, I'LL GET YOU FLOWERS.

BOUQUET OF FLOWERS. >> OKAY, I'LL GET YOU FLOWERS. NO, DAD, I UNDERSTAND.

>> OKAY, I'LL GET YOU FLOWERS. NO, DAD, I UNDERSTAND. AND DAD, SORRY ABOUT THAT TIE.

NO, DAD, I UNDERSTAND. AND DAD, SORRY ABOUT THAT TIE. >> IT'S ALL RIGHT, SON.

AND DAD, SORRY ABOUT THAT TIE. >> IT'S ALL RIGHT, SON. SOMEWHERE THERE'S A SUIT

>> IT'S ALL RIGHT, SON. SOMEWHERE THERE'S A SUIT THAT GOES WITH THIS TIE.

SOMEWHERE THERE'S A SUIT THAT GOES WITH THIS TIE. BUT DON'T GET THE SUIT.

>> YOU KNOW, DAD'S RIGHT. WE HAVEN'T DONE A VERY GOOD JOB FOR FATHER'S DAY.

WE HAVEN'T DONE A VERY GOOD JOB FOR FATHER'S DAY. >> YEAH.

FOR FATHER'S DAY. >> YEAH. MOM ONCE GAVE ME $20 TO BUY HIM

>> YEAH. MOM ONCE GAVE ME $20 TO BUY HIM A PRESENT.

MOM ONCE GAVE ME $20 TO BUY HIM A PRESENT. I BOUGHT MYSELF A BRACELET

A PRESENT. I BOUGHT MYSELF A BRACELET FOR $16 AND GOT HIM SOME

I BOUGHT MYSELF A BRACELET FOR $16 AND GOT HIM SOME $4 CUFF LINKS.

FOR $16 AND GOT HIM SOME $4 CUFF LINKS. >> OH, COME ON YOU GUYS,

$4 CUFF LINKS. >> OH, COME ON YOU GUYS, DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELVES.

>> OH, COME ON YOU GUYS, DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELVES. ALL KIDS ARE LIKE THAT

DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELVES. ALL KIDS ARE LIKE THAT ON FATHER'S DAY.

ALL KIDS ARE LIKE THAT ON FATHER'S DAY. >> WELL, I SAY WE CAN BE

ON FATHER'S DAY. >> WELL, I SAY WE CAN BE THE FIRST KIDS IN HISTORY

>> WELL, I SAY WE CAN BE THE FIRST KIDS IN HISTORY TO ACTUALLY GET OUR FATHER

THE FIRST KIDS IN HISTORY TO ACTUALLY GET OUR FATHER SOMETHING HE CAN REALLY USE.

TO ACTUALLY GET OUR FATHER SOMETHING HE CAN REALLY USE. >> YEAH, WE'LL BE LIKE

SOMETHING HE CAN REALLY USE. >> YEAH, WE'LL BE LIKE PIONEERS.

>> YEAH, WE'LL BE LIKE PIONEERS. WHY DON'T WE START LOOKING

PIONEERS. WHY DON'T WE START LOOKING TODAY?

WHY DON'T WE START LOOKING TODAY? >> ARE YOU KIDDING?

TODAY? >> ARE YOU KIDDING? >> COME ON, DENISE,

>> ARE YOU KIDDING? >> COME ON, DENISE, IT'S A GREAT IDEA.

>> COME ON, DENISE, IT'S A GREAT IDEA. >> ALL RIGHT.

IT'S A GREAT IDEA. >> ALL RIGHT. I'LL GO ASK MOM IF SHE'LL TAKE

>> ALL RIGHT. I'LL GO ASK MOM IF SHE'LL TAKE US SHOPPING AFTER SCHOOL TODAY.

I'LL GO ASK MOM IF SHE'LL TAKE US SHOPPING AFTER SCHOOL TODAY. >> I'M GETTING HIM TENNIS

US SHOPPING AFTER SCHOOL TODAY. >> I'M GETTING HIM TENNIS BALLS, AND I DON'T CARE

>> I'M GETTING HIM TENNIS BALLS, AND I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY COST.

[MUSIC]

>> MOM, YOU LOOK TIRED. >> WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHY I SHOULD LOOK TIRED.

>> WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHY I SHOULD LOOK TIRED. I'VE ONLY SPENT THE LAST

I SHOULD LOOK TIRED. I'VE ONLY SPENT THE LAST 3 HOURS CARRYING 4 KIDS

I'VE ONLY SPENT THE LAST 3 HOURS CARRYING 4 KIDS IN AND OUT OF EVERY STORE

3 HOURS CARRYING 4 KIDS IN AND OUT OF EVERY STORE IN NEW YORK CITY.

IN AND OUT OF EVERY STORE IN NEW YORK CITY. >> MOM, YOU GOTTA GET PSYCHED.

IN NEW YORK CITY. >> MOM, YOU GOTTA GET PSYCHED. YOU'VE GOT TO THINK OF THE LOOK

>> MOM, YOU GOTTA GET PSYCHED. YOU'VE GOT TO THINK OF THE LOOK ON DAD'S FACE WHEN HE GETS

YOU'VE GOT TO THINK OF THE LOOK ON DAD'S FACE WHEN HE GETS THE PERFECT GIFT.

ON DAD'S FACE WHEN HE GETS THE PERFECT GIFT. >> MAY I HELP YOU?

THE PERFECT GIFT. >> MAY I HELP YOU? >> WHERE ARE YOUR TENNIS BALLS?

>> MAY I HELP YOU? >> WHERE ARE YOUR TENNIS BALLS? >> WE DON'T CARRY

>> WHERE ARE YOUR TENNIS BALLS? >> WE DON'T CARRY TENNIS BALLS, HONEY.

>> WE DON'T CARRY TENNIS BALLS, HONEY. SCHMIDDAUER'S IS MORE

TENNIS BALLS, HONEY. SCHMIDDAUER'S IS MORE OF A SPECIALTY STORE.

SCHMIDDAUER'S IS MORE OF A SPECIALTY STORE. >> WE'RE LOOKING FOR SOME GIFTS

OF A SPECIALTY STORE. >> WE'RE LOOKING FOR SOME GIFTS FOR MY HUSBAND.

>> WE'RE LOOKING FOR SOME GIFTS FOR MY HUSBAND. >> DID YOU HAVE SOMETHING

FOR MY HUSBAND. >> DID YOU HAVE SOMETHING IN MIND, OR WOULD YOU LIKE ME

>> DID YOU HAVE SOMETHING IN MIND, OR WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SHOW YOU SOME OF OUR MORE

IN MIND, OR WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SHOW YOU SOME OF OUR MORE POPULAR CHRISTMAS ITEMS?

TO SHOW YOU SOME OF OUR MORE POPULAR CHRISTMAS ITEMS? >> OH, THIS IS

POPULAR CHRISTMAS ITEMS? >> OH, THIS IS FOR FATHER'S DAY.

>> OH, THIS IS FOR FATHER'S DAY. >> AVOIDING THE RUSH?

FOR FATHER'S DAY. >> AVOIDING THE RUSH? >> I THINK WE'LL JUST BROWSE.

>> HEY, EXCUSE ME, HOW MUCH IS THIS? >> $299.50.

HOW MUCH IS THIS? >> $299.50. >> FOR A TOOL KIT?

>> $299.50. >> FOR A TOOL KIT? >> IT IS THE COMPLETE

>> FOR A TOOL KIT? >> IT IS THE COMPLETE HOME TOOL KIT.

>> IT IS THE COMPLETE HOME TOOL KIT. >> NOW I SAW THE SAME THING

HOME TOOL KIT. >> NOW I SAW THE SAME THING ON TV FOR $19.95.

>> NOW I SAW THE SAME THING ON TV FOR $19.95. >> THE TOOLS ARE $19,95.

ON TV FOR $19.95. >> THE TOOLS ARE $19,95. THE SCHMIDDAUER NAME IS $280.

>> THE TOOLS ARE $19,95. THE SCHMIDDAUER NAME IS $280. >> I'LL JUST TAKE THE TOOLS.

THE SCHMIDDAUER NAME IS $280. >> I'LL JUST TAKE THE TOOLS. >> THEY'RE NOT SOLD SEPARATELY.

>> I'LL JUST TAKE THE TOOLS. >> THEY'RE NOT SOLD SEPARATELY. >> THEO, YOU'RE NOT GETTING HIM

>> THEY'RE NOT SOLD SEPARATELY. >> THEO, YOU'RE NOT GETTING HIM TOOLS.

>> THEO, YOU'RE NOT GETTING HIM TOOLS. >> I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT.

TOOLS. >> I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT. >> IF YOU DO, HE'S GONNA START

>> I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT. >> IF YOU DO, HE'S GONNA START FIXING THINGS ALL OVER

>> IF YOU DO, HE'S GONNA START FIXING THINGS ALL OVER THE HOUSE.

FIXING THINGS ALL OVER THE HOUSE. >> THAT'S WHAT HE LIKES TO DO.

THE HOUSE. >> THAT'S WHAT HE LIKES TO DO. >> HE ALSO LIKES TO HAVE YOU

>> THAT'S WHAT HE LIKES TO DO. >> HE ALSO LIKES TO HAVE YOU HELP HIM.

>> HE ALSO LIKES TO HAVE YOU HELP HIM. THEO, IN THIS BOX ARE YOUR

HELP HIM. THEO, IN THIS BOX ARE YOUR WEEKENDS.

>> EXCUSE ME, MISS. WHAT IS THIS? >> OH, THAT IS

WHAT IS THIS? >> OH, THAT IS A FOOT-WARMING BAG.

>> OH, THAT IS A FOOT-WARMING BAG. >> DO YOU THINK MY DAD

A FOOT-WARMING BAG. >> DO YOU THINK MY DAD WOULD LIKE IT?

>> DO YOU THINK MY DAD WOULD LIKE IT? >> OF COURSE HE WOULD.

WOULD LIKE IT? >> OF COURSE HE WOULD. >> I'LL KEEP LOOKING.

>> OF COURSE HE WOULD. >> I'LL KEEP LOOKING. >> GOOD GIRL.

>> I'LL KEEP LOOKING. >> GOOD GIRL. >> OH, I SEE YOU FOUND

>> GOOD GIRL. >> OH, I SEE YOU FOUND THE SCHMIDDAUER COMPACT

>> OH, I SEE YOU FOUND THE SCHMIDDAUER COMPACT FISHING KIT.

THE SCHMIDDAUER COMPACT FISHING KIT. >> WELL, MY HUSBAND IS ALWAYS

FISHING KIT. >> WELL, MY HUSBAND IS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT GOING FISHING.

>> WELL, MY HUSBAND IS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT GOING FISHING. >> I GOT ONE FOR MY HUSBAND,

TALKING ABOUT GOING FISHING. >> I GOT ONE FOR MY HUSBAND, AND HE'S VERY HAPPY WITH IT.

>> I GOT ONE FOR MY HUSBAND, AND HE'S VERY HAPPY WITH IT. FISHING RELAXES HIM.

AND HE'S VERY HAPPY WITH IT. FISHING RELAXES HIM. >> OH, THAT'S JUST WHAT

FISHING RELAXES HIM. >> OH, THAT'S JUST WHAT CLIFF COULD USE.

>> OH, THAT'S JUST WHAT CLIFF COULD USE. >> ALBERT'S GOTTEN TO BE

CLIFF COULD USE. >> ALBERT'S GOTTEN TO BE A REAL FISHERMAN.

>> ALBERT'S GOTTEN TO BE A REAL FISHERMAN. SOMETIMES HE'LL CATCH

A REAL FISHERMAN. SOMETIMES HE'LL CATCH A DOZEN FISH.

SOMETIMES HE'LL CATCH A DOZEN FISH. >> GREAT.

A DOZEN FISH. >> GREAT. >> YES, IT IS.

>> GREAT. >> YES, IT IS. UNTIL HE BRINGS THEM HOME.

>> YES, IT IS. UNTIL HE BRINGS THEM HOME. >> I DON'T THINK WE'RE

UNTIL HE BRINGS THEM HOME. >> I DON'T THINK WE'RE GONNA TAKE THIS.

>> I DON'T THINK WE'RE GONNA TAKE THIS. >> HEY MOM.

GONNA TAKE THIS. >> HEY MOM. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

>> HEY MOM. WHAT DO YOU THINK? IT'S AN AUTOMATIC POTATO

WHAT DO YOU THINK? IT'S AN AUTOMATIC POTATO PEELER.

IT'S AN AUTOMATIC POTATO PEELER. >> NOW, YOU KNOW THAT'S

PEELER. >> NOW, YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.

>> NOW, YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA. HE LOVES MAKING HASH BROWNS.

NOT A BAD IDEA. HE LOVES MAKING HASH BROWNS. >> HOW MUCH?

HE LOVES MAKING HASH BROWNS. >> HOW MUCH? >> $54.50.

>> HOW MUCH? >> $54.50. >> NOW I SAW THE SAME THING

>> $54.50. >> NOW I SAW THE SAME THING ON TV FOR $19.95 AND THEY THREW

>> NOW I SAW THE SAME THING ON TV FOR $19.95 AND THEY THREW IN A SET OF KNIVES.

ON TV FOR $19.95 AND THEY THREW IN A SET OF KNIVES. >> OH, COME ON, THEO.

IN A SET OF KNIVES. >> OH, COME ON, THEO. IT PROBABLY WASN'T

>> OH, COME ON, THEO. IT PROBABLY WASN'T THE SAME POTATO PEELER.

IT PROBABLY WASN'T THE SAME POTATO PEELER. >> MAYBE WE SHOULD GO

THE SAME POTATO PEELER. >> MAYBE WE SHOULD GO TO ANOTHER STORE.

>> MAYBE WE SHOULD GO TO ANOTHER STORE. >> MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL THIS

TO ANOTHER STORE. >> MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL THIS WHOLE THING OFF, AND YOUR

>> MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL THIS WHOLE THING OFF, AND YOUR FATHER SHOULD WAIT FOR FATHER'S

WHOLE THING OFF, AND YOUR FATHER SHOULD WAIT FOR FATHER'S DAY JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.

FATHER SHOULD WAIT FOR FATHER'S DAY JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. >> NOW WAIT A MINUTE.

DAY JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. >> NOW WAIT A MINUTE. YOU ARE A NICE LADY, AND YOU'RE

>> NOW WAIT A MINUTE. YOU ARE A NICE LADY, AND YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY A FAMILY IN PANIC.

YOU ARE A NICE LADY, AND YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY A FAMILY IN PANIC. NOW I HAVE BEEN HERE MANY

OBVIOUSLY A FAMILY IN PANIC. NOW I HAVE BEEN HERE MANY YEARS.

NOW I HAVE BEEN HERE MANY YEARS. I CAN HELP YOU.

YEARS. I CAN HELP YOU. >> WELL, WE CERTAINLY

I CAN HELP YOU. >> WELL, WE CERTAINLY COULD USE IT.

>> WELL, WE CERTAINLY COULD USE IT. >> NO PROBLEM.

COULD USE IT. >> NO PROBLEM. I LIKE YOUR KIDS.

>> NO PROBLEM. I LIKE YOUR KIDS. AND I HOPE YOU ALL COME BACK

I LIKE YOUR KIDS. AND I HOPE YOU ALL COME BACK IN JUNE WHEN YOU DO YOUR

AND I HOPE YOU ALL COME BACK IN JUNE WHEN YOU DO YOUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING.

IN JUNE WHEN YOU DO YOUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING. [MUSIC]

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING. [MUSIC] [KNOCKING]

[MUSIC] [KNOCKING] >> COME IN.

[KNOCKING] >> COME IN. >> DR. HUXTABLE.

>> COME IN. >> DR. HUXTABLE. >> OH, MRS. LEE.

>> DR. HUXTABLE. >> OH, MRS. LEE. >> I BROUGHT MY HUSBAND IN

>> OH, MRS. LEE. >> I BROUGHT MY HUSBAND IN SO YOU CAN TALK TO HIM.

>> I BROUGHT MY HUSBAND IN SO YOU CAN TALK TO HIM. >> BEN, THIS IS DR. HUXTABLE.

SO YOU CAN TALK TO HIM. >> BEN, THIS IS DR. HUXTABLE. >> DR. HUXTABLE,

>> BEN, THIS IS DR. HUXTABLE. >> DR. HUXTABLE, THIS IS MY HUSBAND BEN.

>> DR. HUXTABLE, THIS IS MY HUSBAND BEN. >> BEN, HOW ARE YA?

THIS IS MY HUSBAND BEN. >> BEN, HOW ARE YA? >> NICE MEETING YA.

>> BEN, HOW ARE YA? >> NICE MEETING YA. >> GOOD.

>> NICE MEETING YA. >> GOOD. >> WELL, I'LL WAIT OUTSIDE

>> GOOD. >> WELL, I'LL WAIT OUTSIDE SO YOU TWO CAN GET TO KNOW

>> WELL, I'LL WAIT OUTSIDE SO YOU TWO CAN GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.

SO YOU TWO CAN GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER. >> MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.

EACH OTHER. >> MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. >> THANK YOU.

>> MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. >> THANK YOU. >> LIKE SOME COFFEE?

>> THANK YOU. >> LIKE SOME COFFEE? >> SURE.

>> LIKE SOME COFFEE? >> SURE. CREAM, NO SUGAR.

>> SURE. CREAM, NO SUGAR. >> CREAM, NO SUGAR.

CREAM, NO SUGAR. >> CREAM, NO SUGAR. WELL, YOUR WIFE IS HEALTHY.

>> CREAM, NO SUGAR. WELL, YOUR WIFE IS HEALTHY. YOU MUST BE A VERY PROUD MAN.

WELL, YOUR WIFE IS HEALTHY. YOU MUST BE A VERY PROUD MAN. YEAH, WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR

YOU MUST BE A VERY PROUD MAN. YEAH, WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS BABY FOR A LONG TIME, DOC.

YEAH, WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS BABY FOR A LONG TIME, DOC. >> AH, YOU MUST BE TICKLED.

THIS BABY FOR A LONG TIME, DOC. >> AH, YOU MUST BE TICKLED. >> YOU GOT KIDS?

>> AH, YOU MUST BE TICKLED. >> YOU GOT KIDS? >> OH YEAH, FIVE.

>> YOU GOT KIDS? >> OH YEAH, FIVE. >> ALL RIGHT.

>> OH YEAH, FIVE. >> ALL RIGHT. KEEP THEM BAREFOOT

>> ALL RIGHT. KEEP THEM BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT.

KEEP THEM BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT. >> BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT?

AND PREGNANT. >> BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT? >> I'M AN OLD-FASHIONED

>> BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT? >> I'M AN OLD-FASHIONED KIND OF GUY, DOC.

>> I'M AN OLD-FASHIONED KIND OF GUY, DOC. >> I THOUGHT THEY DIED OUT

KIND OF GUY, DOC. >> I THOUGHT THEY DIED OUT A LONG TIME AGO.

>> I THOUGHT THEY DIED OUT A LONG TIME AGO. >> I'VE DONE A LOT OF THINGS,

A LONG TIME AGO. >> I'VE DONE A LOT OF THINGS, DOC.

>> I'VE DONE A LOT OF THINGS, DOC. FOUR YEARS IN THE MARINES,

DOC. FOUR YEARS IN THE MARINES, TWO YEARS UP ON A PIPELINE.

FOUR YEARS IN THE MARINES, TWO YEARS UP ON A PIPELINE. BUT THERE'S NOTHING LIKE HAVING

TWO YEARS UP ON A PIPELINE. BUT THERE'S NOTHING LIKE HAVING A PREGNANT WIFE TO REALLY PROVE

BUT THERE'S NOTHING LIKE HAVING A PREGNANT WIFE TO REALLY PROVE YOUR MANHOOD.

A PREGNANT WIFE TO REALLY PROVE YOUR MANHOOD. >> PROVE YOUR MANHOOD?

YOUR MANHOOD. >> PROVE YOUR MANHOOD? >> I TOLD THE WIFE, I WANT

>> PROVE YOUR MANHOOD? >> I TOLD THE WIFE, I WANT TO HAVE A LARGE FAMILY, LOTS

>> I TOLD THE WIFE, I WANT TO HAVE A LARGE FAMILY, LOTS OF KIDS AND EVERY ONE OF THEM'S

TO HAVE A LARGE FAMILY, LOTS OF KIDS AND EVERY ONE OF THEM'S GONNA KNOW THAT I AM THE BOSS.

OF KIDS AND EVERY ONE OF THEM'S GONNA KNOW THAT I AM THE BOSS. >> WELL, MR. LEE, THE ONLY

GONNA KNOW THAT I AM THE BOSS. >> WELL, MR. LEE, THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH THAT IS THAT

>> WELL, MR. LEE, THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH THAT IS THAT THE MORE KIDS YOU HAVE, IT'S

PROBLEM WITH THAT IS THAT THE MORE KIDS YOU HAVE, IT'S THE MORE PEOPLE WHO WILL TELL

THE MORE KIDS YOU HAVE, IT'S THE MORE PEOPLE WHO WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS.

THE MORE PEOPLE WHO WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS. >> DOC, I'M TELLING YA,

YOU THAT YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS. >> DOC, I'M TELLING YA, I'M THE BOSS.

>> DOC, I'M TELLING YA, I'M THE BOSS. >> MR. LEE, I USED TO THINK

I'M THE BOSS. >> MR. LEE, I USED TO THINK THAT I WAS GOING TO BE

>> MR. LEE, I USED TO THINK THAT I WAS GOING TO BE THE BOSS.

THAT I WAS GOING TO BE THE BOSS. I DON'T KNOW HOW I LOST IT.

THE BOSS. I DON'T KNOW HOW I LOST IT. I DON'T KNOW WHERE I LOST IT.

I DON'T KNOW HOW I LOST IT. I DON'T KNOW WHERE I LOST IT. I DON'T THINK I EVER HAD IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE I LOST IT. I DON'T THINK I EVER HAD IT. >> WELL LOOK, THAT'S NOT GONNA

I DON'T THINK I EVER HAD IT. >> WELL LOOK, THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN TO ME.

>> WELL LOOK, THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN TO ME. >> OKAY, NOW WHEN YOU GO BACK

HAPPEN TO ME. >> OKAY, NOW WHEN YOU GO BACK HOME WITH YOUR WIFE AND YOU

>> OKAY, NOW WHEN YOU GO BACK HOME WITH YOUR WIFE AND YOU STAND IN THE LIVING ROOM,

HOME WITH YOUR WIFE AND YOU STAND IN THE LIVING ROOM, I WANT YOU TO SAY,

STAND IN THE LIVING ROOM, I WANT YOU TO SAY, "I DON'T LIKE THESE DRAPES."

I WANT YOU TO SAY, "I DON'T LIKE THESE DRAPES." >> I DON'T LIKE THESE DRAPES.

"I DON'T LIKE THESE DRAPES." >> I DON'T LIKE THESE DRAPES. >> THEN I WANT YOU TO GO OVER

>> I DON'T LIKE THESE DRAPES. >> THEN I WANT YOU TO GO OVER TO THE TELEPHONE, PICK IT UP

>> THEN I WANT YOU TO GO OVER TO THE TELEPHONE, PICK IT UP AND ORDER NEW DRAPES.

TO THE TELEPHONE, PICK IT UP AND ORDER NEW DRAPES. >> WELL--

AND ORDER NEW DRAPES. >> WELL-- >> AH, YOU CAN'T DO, CAN YOU?

>> WELL-- >> AH, YOU CAN'T DO, CAN YOU? >> NO.

>> AH, YOU CAN'T DO, CAN YOU? >> NO. >> WHY?

>> NO. >> WHY? >> WE HAVE BLINDS.

>> WHY? >> WE HAVE BLINDS. >> BUT NOW YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND

>> WE HAVE BLINDS. >> BUT NOW YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND THAT THE DAYS OF BEING

>> BUT NOW YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND THAT THE DAYS OF BEING THE BOSS, THE BAREFOOT

THAT THE DAYS OF BEING THE BOSS, THE BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT, I MEAN THAT'S

THE BOSS, THE BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT, I MEAN THAT'S 30 YEARS AGO.

AND PREGNANT, I MEAN THAT'S 30 YEARS AGO. THE OLD-FASHIONED MAN IS OUT.

30 YEARS AGO. THE OLD-FASHIONED MAN IS OUT. THERE'S MORE TO THIS

THE OLD-FASHIONED MAN IS OUT. THERE'S MORE TO THIS RELATIONSHIP THAN BEING

THERE'S MORE TO THIS RELATIONSHIP THAN BEING THE BOSS.

RELATIONSHIP THAN BEING THE BOSS. YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS.

THE BOSS. YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS. SHE WON'T BE THE BOSS.

YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS. SHE WON'T BE THE BOSS. THE BOSS WILL BE THAT BABY.

SHE WON'T BE THE BOSS. THE BOSS WILL BE THAT BABY. I'VE BEEN MARRIED 20 YEARS,

THE BOSS WILL BE THAT BABY. I'VE BEEN MARRIED 20 YEARS, MR. LEE, AND EACH DAY MY WIFE

I'VE BEEN MARRIED 20 YEARS, MR. LEE, AND EACH DAY MY WIFE AND I GO GROW CLOSER AND CLOSER

MR. LEE, AND EACH DAY MY WIFE AND I GO GROW CLOSER AND CLOSER TOGETHER.

AND I GO GROW CLOSER AND CLOSER TOGETHER. MAINLY BECAUSE

TOGETHER. MAINLY BECAUSE WE'RE AFRAID OF THE CHILDREN.

MAINLY BECAUSE WE'RE AFRAID OF THE CHILDREN. [MUSIC]

>> CLIFF! >> HEY. >> CLIFF!

>> HEY. >> CLIFF! >> WHAT'S GOING ON?

>> CLIFF! >> WHAT'S GOING ON? >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

>> WHAT'S GOING ON? >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE HOSPITAL MAKING YOUR ROUNDS,

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE HOSPITAL MAKING YOUR ROUNDS, HONEY.

THE HOSPITAL MAKING YOUR ROUNDS, HONEY. >> OH, REALLY?

HONEY. >> OH, REALLY? >> HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.

>> OH, REALLY? >> HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. STOP IT, STOP IT.

>> HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. STOP IT, STOP IT. >> WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

STOP IT, STOP IT. >> WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? >> YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED

>> WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? >> YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HOME FOR 10 MINUTES.

>> YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HOME FOR 10 MINUTES. >> OKAY, WHAT KIND OF TRICK

TO BE HOME FOR 10 MINUTES. >> OKAY, WHAT KIND OF TRICK IS THIS?

>> OKAY, WHAT KIND OF TRICK IS THIS? >> OKAY.

IS THIS? >> OKAY. I WANT YOU TO GO ACROSS

>> OKAY. I WANT YOU TO GO ACROSS THE STREET AND STAND OVER THERE.

I WANT YOU TO GO ACROSS THE STREET AND STAND OVER THERE. AND I'LL WAVE TO YOU.

THE STREET AND STAND OVER THERE. AND I'LL WAVE TO YOU. >> ACROSS THE STREET?

AND I'LL WAVE TO YOU. >> ACROSS THE STREET? >> YEAH, I'LL WAVE TO YOU.

>> ACROSS THE STREET? >> YEAH, I'LL WAVE TO YOU. >> IT'S 18 DEGREES.

>> YEAH, I'LL WAVE TO YOU. >> IT'S 18 DEGREES. >> OH, HONEY, I'M SORRY.

>> IT'S 18 DEGREES. >> OH, HONEY, I'M SORRY. HERE, TAKE THIS, BE WARM.

>> OH, HONEY, I'M SORRY. HERE, TAKE THIS, BE WARM. [KNOCKING]

HERE, TAKE THIS, BE WARM. [KNOCKING] >> DEAR, I MEAN,

[KNOCKING] >> DEAR, I MEAN, WHAT IS GOING ON?

>> DEAR, I MEAN, WHAT IS GOING ON? >> OH, CLIFF, COME ON.

WHAT IS GOING ON? >> OH, CLIFF, COME ON. THE KIDS WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU

>> OH, CLIFF, COME ON. THE KIDS WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU FOR FATHER'S DAY.

THE KIDS WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU FOR FATHER'S DAY. >> THEY DID?

FOR FATHER'S DAY. >> THEY DID? THEY WENT OUT TODAY

>> THEY DID? THEY WENT OUT TODAY AND BOUGHT ME PRESENTS?

THEY WENT OUT TODAY AND BOUGHT ME PRESENTS? >> THEY WENT OUT SHOPPING ALL

AND BOUGHT ME PRESENTS? >> THEY WENT OUT SHOPPING ALL AFTERNOON FROM STORE TO STORE.

>> THEY WENT OUT SHOPPING ALL AFTERNOON FROM STORE TO STORE. >> I HAVE GREAT KIDS.

AFTERNOON FROM STORE TO STORE. >> I HAVE GREAT KIDS. >> YES, YOU DO.

>> I HAVE GREAT KIDS. >> YES, YOU DO. >> WHAT'D THEY GET ME?

>> YES, YOU DO. >> WHAT'D THEY GET ME? >> OH, NO, NO, NO, UH-UH.

>> WHAT'D THEY GET ME? >> OH, NO, NO, NO, UH-UH. QUICK.

>> OH, NO, NO, NO, UH-UH. QUICK. >> OKAY.

QUICK. >> OKAY. >> PUT THIS AROUND YOUR NECK.

>> OKAY. >> PUT THIS AROUND YOUR NECK. >> RIGHT.

>> PUT THIS AROUND YOUR NECK. >> RIGHT. >> OKAY, GET OUTSIDE

>> RIGHT. >> OKAY, GET OUTSIDE AND WAIT 'TIL I CALL FOR YOU.

>> OKAY, GET OUTSIDE AND WAIT 'TIL I CALL FOR YOU. >> IS RALPH EDWARDS

AND WAIT 'TIL I CALL FOR YOU. >> IS RALPH EDWARDS GONNA BE HERE?

>> IS RALPH EDWARDS GONNA BE HERE? >> YOU GET OUT.

GONNA BE HERE? >> YOU GET OUT. OKAY KIDS, HURRY UP!

>> YOU GET OUT. OKAY KIDS, HURRY UP! COME DOWNSTAIRS RIGHT AWAY.

OKAY KIDS, HURRY UP! COME DOWNSTAIRS RIGHT AWAY. >> IS HE HOME?

COME DOWNSTAIRS RIGHT AWAY. >> IS HE HOME? >> NO, BUT I THINK HE'LL BE

>> IS HE HOME? >> NO, BUT I THINK HE'LL BE HERE AT ANY MOMENT.

>> NO, BUT I THINK HE'LL BE HERE AT ANY MOMENT. >> MAN, THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT!

HERE AT ANY MOMENT. >> MAN, THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT! >> OKAY, NOW EVERYBODY SIT DOWN

>> MAN, THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT! >> OKAY, NOW EVERYBODY SIT DOWN AND GET READY.

>> OKAY, NOW EVERYBODY SIT DOWN AND GET READY. >> OH, I FORGOT TO SIGN

AND GET READY. >> OH, I FORGOT TO SIGN HIS CARD.

>> OH, I FORGOT TO SIGN HIS CARD. >> HURRY UP.

HIS CARD. >> HURRY UP. >> I THINK I HEAR HIM!

>> HURRY UP. >> I THINK I HEAR HIM! >> HI.

>> I THINK I HEAR HIM! >> HI. >> SURPRISE!

>> HI. >> SURPRISE! >> HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

>> SURPRISE! >> HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! >> OH, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE!

>> HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! >> OH, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE! >> YOU MADE US.

>> OH, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE! >> YOU MADE US. >> GOLLY, THIS IS

>> YOU MADE US. >> GOLLY, THIS IS REALLY WONDERFUL.

>> GOLLY, THIS IS REALLY WONDERFUL. >> OPEN 'EM, OPEN 'EM!

REALLY WONDERFUL. >> OPEN 'EM, OPEN 'EM! >> OKAY, OKAY!

>> OPEN 'EM, OPEN 'EM! >> OKAY, OKAY! >> AH, BOY.

>> OKAY, OKAY! >> AH, BOY. OKAY.

>> AH, BOY. OKAY. "TO A GREAT DAD ON FATHER'S DAY,

OKAY. "TO A GREAT DAD ON FATHER'S DAY, EVEN THOUGH IT ISN'T.

"TO A GREAT DAD ON FATHER'S DAY, EVEN THOUGH IT ISN'T. LOVE VANESSA."

EVEN THOUGH IT ISN'T. LOVE VANESSA." >> HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

LOVE VANESSA." >> HOPE YOU LIKE IT. >> OH, YOU KNOW I WILL.

>> HOPE YOU LIKE IT. >> OH, YOU KNOW I WILL. THINK.

>> OH, YOU KNOW I WILL. THINK. THINK.

THERE'S MORE! >> YEAH.

>> IT'S THE COMPLETE HOME WEATHER STATION. >> I HAVE NOTHING LIKE THIS.

HOME WEATHER STATION. >> I HAVE NOTHING LIKE THIS. >> DAD, YOU KNOW HOW YOU'RE

>> I HAVE NOTHING LIKE THIS. >> DAD, YOU KNOW HOW YOU'RE ALWAYS ASKING ME WHAT IT'S LIKE

>> DAD, YOU KNOW HOW YOU'RE ALWAYS ASKING ME WHAT IT'S LIKE OUT THERE.

ALWAYS ASKING ME WHAT IT'S LIKE OUT THERE. WELL, THIS IS GONNA TELL YOU.

OUT THERE. WELL, THIS IS GONNA TELL YOU. >> UH-HUH.

WELL, THIS IS GONNA TELL YOU. >> UH-HUH. THANK YOU.

>> UH-HUH. THANK YOU. >> HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.

THANK YOU. >> HAPPY FATHER'S DAY. >> THAT'S MINE.

>> HAPPY FATHER'S DAY. >> THAT'S MINE. >> ALL RIGHT, THIS IS YOU?

>> THAT'S MINE. >> ALL RIGHT, THIS IS YOU? >> YEAH.

>> ALL RIGHT, THIS IS YOU? >> YEAH. >> ALL RIGHT.

>> YEAH. >> ALL RIGHT. "DEAR DADDY, IT'S NOT A TIE."

>> ALL RIGHT. "DEAR DADDY, IT'S NOT A TIE." ALL RIGHT!

"DEAR DADDY, IT'S NOT A TIE." ALL RIGHT! I LOVE [INAUDIBLE]

ALL RIGHT! I LOVE [INAUDIBLE] IT'S NOT A TIE.

I LOVE [INAUDIBLE] IT'S NOT A TIE. ALL RIGHT.

IT'S NOT A TIE. ALL RIGHT. OKAY.

ALL RIGHT. OKAY. >> IT'S AN ELECTRIC ICE-CREAM

OKAY. >> IT'S AN ELECTRIC ICE-CREAM SCOOPER.

>> IT'S AN ELECTRIC ICE-CREAM SCOOPER. >> OH, YEAH!

SCOOPER. >> OH, YEAH! >> SEE THIS PART WARMS UP SO

>> OH, YEAH! >> SEE THIS PART WARMS UP SO YOU WON'T HURT YOUR WRIST WHEN

>> SEE THIS PART WARMS UP SO YOU WON'T HURT YOUR WRIST WHEN YOU'RE SCOOPING THE ICE CREAM.

YOU WON'T HURT YOUR WRIST WHEN YOU'RE SCOOPING THE ICE CREAM. >> OH, THANK YOU.

YOU'RE SCOOPING THE ICE CREAM. >> OH, THANK YOU. >> YOU LIKE IT?

>> OH, THANK YOU. >> YOU LIKE IT? >> OH, I LOVE IT.

>> YOU LIKE IT? >> OH, I LOVE IT. THANK YOU.

>> OH, I LOVE IT. THANK YOU. >> HERE YOU GO, DAD,

THANK YOU. >> HERE YOU GO, DAD, HERE YOU GO.

>> HERE YOU GO, DAD, HERE YOU GO. >> ALL RIGHT, NOW.

HERE YOU GO. >> ALL RIGHT, NOW. ALL RIGHT.

>> ALL RIGHT, NOW. ALL RIGHT. >> READ THE CARD FIRST.

ALL RIGHT. >> READ THE CARD FIRST. >> OH.

>> READ THE CARD FIRST. >> OH. "GONNA BE A FATHER?

>> OH. "GONNA BE A FATHER? IT WILL COST YOU A PRETTY NOTE.

"GONNA BE A FATHER? IT WILL COST YOU A PRETTY NOTE. ROCK A BYE BABY."

IT WILL COST YOU A PRETTY NOTE. ROCK A BYE BABY." >> THEY DIDN'T HAVE

ROCK A BYE BABY." >> THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY FATHER'S DAY CARDS.

>> THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY FATHER'S DAY CARDS. >> ALL RIGHT.

ANY FATHER'S DAY CARDS. >> ALL RIGHT. SLIPPERS.

>> ALL RIGHT. SLIPPERS. >> THEY'RE NOT JUST SLIPPERS,

SLIPPERS. >> THEY'RE NOT JUST SLIPPERS, DAD.

>> THEY'RE NOT JUST SLIPPERS, DAD. YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO

DAD. YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE IN THE MORNING AND GET

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE IN THE MORNING AND GET THE PAPER WHEN IT'S RAINING?

OUTSIDE IN THE MORNING AND GET THE PAPER WHEN IT'S RAINING? >> UH-HUH.

THE PAPER WHEN IT'S RAINING? >> UH-HUH. >> NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO

>> UH-HUH. >> NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS THIS...

>> NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS THIS... RUBBERS.

IS THIS... RUBBERS. >> ALL RIGHT!

RUBBERS. >> ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!

>> ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! RUBBER SLIPPERS, OKAY.

ALL RIGHT! RUBBER SLIPPERS, OKAY. AND WHERE'S YOUR CARD?

RUBBER SLIPPERS, OKAY. AND WHERE'S YOUR CARD? NO CARD.

AND WHERE'S YOUR CARD? NO CARD. ALL RIGHT.

NO CARD. ALL RIGHT. DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA!

ALL RIGHT. DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA! TENNIS BALLS!

DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA! TENNIS BALLS! >> I HOPE THEY'RE

TENNIS BALLS! >> I HOPE THEY'RE THE RIGHT SIZE.

>> I HOPE THEY'RE THE RIGHT SIZE. >> OH, YES, I'M SURE THEY'RE

THE RIGHT SIZE. >> OH, YES, I'M SURE THEY'RE THE RIGHT SIZE.

>> OH, YES, I'M SURE THEY'RE THE RIGHT SIZE. LET ME SEE.

THE RIGHT SIZE. LET ME SEE. >> I LOOKED IN YOUR CLOSET,

LET ME SEE. >> I LOOKED IN YOUR CLOSET, AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE LEFT.

>> I LOOKED IN YOUR CLOSET, AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE LEFT. >> YOU KNOW THEY'RE

AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE LEFT. >> YOU KNOW THEY'RE THE RIGHT SIZE!

>> YOU KNOW THEY'RE THE RIGHT SIZE! >> CLIFF.

THE RIGHT SIZE! >> CLIFF. >> OH, NOW WE'RE COOKING.

>> CLIFF. >> OH, NOW WE'RE COOKING. "DEAR CLIFF, NO GIFT COULD EVER

>> OH, NOW WE'RE COOKING. "DEAR CLIFF, NO GIFT COULD EVER EQUAL WHAT YOU'VE GIVEN

"DEAR CLIFF, NO GIFT COULD EVER EQUAL WHAT YOU'VE GIVEN TO ALL OF US.

EQUAL WHAT YOU'VE GIVEN TO ALL OF US. LOVE CLAIR."

TO ALL OF US. LOVE CLAIR." OH, NO.

LOVE CLAIR." OH, NO. >> IT'S AN EARLY EDITION

OH, NO. >> IT'S AN EARLY EDITION OF THE DEBATES BETWEEN

>> IT'S AN EARLY EDITION OF THE DEBATES BETWEEN ABRAHAM LINCOLN

OF THE DEBATES BETWEEN ABRAHAM LINCOLN AND STEPHEN DOUGLAS.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN AND STEPHEN DOUGLAS. >> OH, THIS IS GREAT.

AND STEPHEN DOUGLAS. >> OH, THIS IS GREAT. THANK YOU.

>> OH, THIS IS GREAT. THANK YOU. YOU KNOW, THESE ARE

THANK YOU. YOU KNOW, THESE ARE THE GREATEST CHRISTMAS PRESENTS

YOU KNOW, THESE ARE THE GREATEST CHRISTMAS PRESENTS I'VE EVER GOTTEN FOR

THE GREATEST CHRISTMAS PRESENTS I'VE EVER GOTTEN FOR FATHER'S DAY.

I'VE EVER GOTTEN FOR FATHER'S DAY. AND THE THING ABOUT IT IS YOU

FATHER'S DAY. AND THE THING ABOUT IT IS YOU ALL DID IT BY THINKING.

AND THE THING ABOUT IT IS YOU ALL DID IT BY THINKING. THANK YOU.

ALL DID IT BY THINKING. THANK YOU. >> HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

[MUSIC]

CC BY ABERDEEN CAPTIONING 1-800-688-6621 WWW.ABERCAP.COM

>> "THE COSBY SHOW" WAS TAPED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.