Original subtitles

[Shriek]

Ah ha ha ha!

Yes, that's better.

Oh, hello, boorsandghouls.

I hope you'll excuse me if I don't get up.

I'm a little stiff today.

Then again, I'm a little stiff every day.

Actually, I twisted my neck playingcroak-et,

but it wasn't hurting the way I thought it should,

so I called mychiro-hack-tor.

Of course, some people look elsewhere for their pain,

like the old man in tonight's terror tale.

His idea of ananti-die-otic

was to marry a younger woman.

Hee hee hee hee!

Aah!

[Bones cracking]

Ahh!

I call this plasma play... Strung along.

[Carnival music plays]

Hey, Clyde, what's the matter?

I kind of left my dog here, koko.

You left your dog here?

Hey, Clyde, can't you read?

This is a no barking zone.

Oh, no.

Oh, yeah, kiddo.

I bet the cops collard him.

Well, we better get to the pound.

Well, we better get to the pound.

[Kids yelling]

Hope you had a good time, kids, and remember,

wherever you may go, whatever you may seek,

we'll all get together same time next week.

[Laughter]

[Splashing]

Oh, what a day! It's perfect.

Come on back in.

Oh!

Why don't you get back out?

Why don't you get back out?

[Laughter]

Hi, honey.

I can't get him out of the house.

[Applause]

Radio city music hall presents

Joseph renfield and koko the clown.

O.K., let's give a big hand

for koko the clown

and cowboy Clyde.

Here they are, ladies and gentlemen,

koko and Clyde.

Koko and Clyde.

Want my opinion?

Not especially.

How about taking a little more off the top?

Nobody asked you, koko.

You've carved that head for two months.

You make those cheekbones any higher...

Oh, damn it!

Don't say it.

I don't want to hear "I told you so."

[Sighing]

Koko been bothering you again?

Koko bothering me? Are you kidding?

I brought you your mail.

Why don't you come for a swim?

I don't want to take you away from your friend.

Lucy went home.

For Christ sakes, Joe,

you going to jealous of my female friends too?

I'm sorry, I guess I'm just depressed.

Of course you're depressed you sit in this dark little room

talking to yourself, it's not healthy.

Did you take your medication today?

I feel fine, really.

What color should I wear to your funeral?

If you want another heart attack, go ahead.

Don't be angry with me, kiddo.

I'm not angry with you. I'm just frustrated.

You've got to take better care of yourself.

You've got to take better care of yourself.

She's magnificent, isn't she, koko?

She's a real piece of work, all right.

[Sighing]

What is it?

You won't believe it. This is incredible.

They want me for a tribute

to the golden age of television.

What?

They want me to do one of the old koko and Clyde routines.

Now, wait a minute. Are you up for this?

There's not much notice.

Up to it, why I could do it in my sleep.

This is what I need.

I'm going out of my head.

This could be the beginning of a comeback.

Don't blow it out of proportion.

It's just a tv show.

But who knows?

Maybe it'll get you out of the house.

Oh, yeah...Well, there's so much to do.

There's a ton of people to call.

Kiddo, I've been thinking.

Instead of an old routine, I'll do something new.

Now, wait a minute.

I don't want you pushing yourself.

I won't let you get sick again.

Sick? I haven't felt this good in years.

Let's have Dr. littman check you out in case.

Why? I'm on enough medication already.

All right, no more doctors.

Could we get someone to help you?

Would you do that for me?

Oh, I don't know anybody anymore.

Well, maybe I'll call the trades tomorrow

and place a classified.

Classifieds.

You never know who you'll get from those.

I'll talk to my acting teacher.

He might know someone who could help you.

All right.

What's that all about?

I don't know I guess I feel inspired.

Inspired aye.

And this is Joseph's workshop.

I can't tell you how excited I am.

I grew up on this stuff as a kid.

Didn't we all.

Oh, wow!

Joseph, David is here.

That's funny. He knew you were coming.

Wait here. I'll go find him.

O.K. Thanks.

Don't touch him!

You don't know where he's been.

Who is that?

Who do you want it to be?

How the hell did you do that?

That's for me to know and you to find out.

Joseph, come on out.

There's a guy out here spying on us.

Koko, try being nicer to the young man.

You don't want to scare him away.

I don't frighten easy, Mr. renfield.

For starters, it's not Mr. renfield.

It's Joseph, o.K.?

Yes, sir.

This is a real honor for me.

Did Ellen tell you

kissing my ass was part of the job?

No, sir. Actually, that was my idea.

Uh-huh.

So, how do you know Ellen?

She takes acting class from a friend of mine.

And do you know each other very well?

Actually, we've never met.

I had to stop taking the class.

Oh. In that case,

let's get to the good stuff.

Have you worked with marionettes before?

I have done some work in animatronics.

Uh, mechanical puppets, using remote controls

and computer circuits, that sort of thing.

I've got some pictures I'd love to show you.

No, no. Puppets aren't machines.

They're an extension of the puppeteer.

They're a part of you.

You become part of them.

If that's a problem for you,

you shouldn't do it.

Mr. renfield--Joseph,

I want to learn.

That's why I'm here.

I've got the chance to learn the craft from a master.

I want that chance.

I do.

Great.

Thanks.

I told you I would.

Yes, I know.

We'll talk about it later.

Rick,

I said we'll talk about it later.

I have to go.

Who's that?

A friend from class.

So, how's what's-his-name working out?

David.

I think he'll be fine.

Great.

What?

He just seemed too eager.

You don't like him?

No, he's fine.

He comes highly recommended.

He just struck me as too pushy.

But if he helps you get your show together,

he's o.K. By me.

I'm glad to see you so pleased.

I left some dinner for you.

Where are you going?

Where I go every Tuesday night, my acting class.

Do you have to go?

Why can't we have dinner at home?

It's the only chance I get to get out of the house.

You may like being shut in,

but I don't.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

It depends, koko.

What are you thinking?

She wouldn't do that to us...

Not after things have finally started happening again.

She wouldn't.

[Heart beating]

Tell me you agree with me.

Oh, there you are, Clyde.

I lost you in that wave.

I lost me in that wave, too.

By the way, Clyde,

damn it, I keep getting the strings tangled.

Well, now, it's okay.

Don't get frustrated.

You're using to much wrist.

Now just think of the arms and hands as a long appendage

reaching down through the controller.

Into the puppet's toes.

See, just back and forth really easy.

Like this.

Just don't force it.

It's amazing how you do that.

Thanks, kiddo.

I've been in this business a long time.

It should be amazing.

Oh, I'm sorry, here you try a little.

[Door closing]

Oh, there you are, Clyde.

I lost you in that last wave.

I lost me in that last wave too.

Oh, and by the way, Clyde.

When you get on the board,

you're supposed to yell "cowabunga,"

not "help me, mommy."

Thanks, koko.

What do I yell when the board gets on top of me?

That's when you yell "help me, mommy."

Oh, that's much better, much better.

Come on, come on.

[Door opens]

Hello, darling. Wasn't David great?

Lunchtime.

He learned in two weeks what took me two years.

Did you catch the scene?

Looked o.K.

For her that's a rave review.

What'd you think of the new lines?

They're o.K.

I thought they were great.

David wrote them.

Who told David to do that?

He came up with the idea and I liked it.

Joe, you've been winning emmys for writing

since before he was born.

We hired him to help, not change the act.

All I did was update the material

from the fifties to the nineties.

Great, but the show is a tribute to the fifties.

I suggest you change it back.

The changes work better.

Who's running the show, you or him?

[Heart beating]

[Heartbeat grows louder]

You o.K., Joe?

[Heartbeat fades away]

Yeah, I'm fine.

Want me to go get her?

No, no, I'll be o.K.

Just got to catch my breath.

What's going on, Joe?

Nothing.

Come on this is me, David you can talk to me.

Is there some kind of problem between you and Ellen

you want to talk about?

I think there's someone in her acting class.

You think she's having an affair?

Well, uh, I'm being ridiculous.

Let's get back to work.

I can swing by her acting class

on Wednesday night and check it out.

It'd be no problem.

Wednesday night?

Her acting class is on Tuesday night.

It used to be Tuesday night,

but they changed it a year ago.

That's why I had to drop out.

Oh, yeah.

Sorry, Joe.

Really.

That's okay.

That's okay, I'm all right.

That's okay, I'm all right.

I don't think you should come back tomorrow.

What have you got against me?

I don't understand why you hate me so much.

I'd like to do this as quietly as possible,

but if it's a matter of money,

I'm sure we can come to some agreement.

Is that what you think this is about?

You are disgusting.

Do you know that?

By the way,

how long have you been cheating on your husband?

How dare you!

Stop it, you two.

Did you hear what he said?

I want you to fire him!

I can't do the show without him. I need him.

You need me. I don't want him here.

Joe, it's not worth upsetting you.

The show's the most important thing.

We'll be in touch.

I promise.

David, don't go, please.

What's the matter with you, David is my friend.

Oh, he's your friend, is he?

You can have friends but I can't?

I never said you can't have friends.

That's news, in the past 8 years

I've lost every friend because of you.

I sick of your jealousy.

I'm sick of you controlling me like one of you damn puppets.

Where are you going?

To see a friend.

I never did trust that dame.

[Heart beating]

Take my advice.

All I'm saying is

maybe you should just check into it.

Do it!

Aha!

I should've listened to you koko.

You knew.

You knew.

It wasn't exactly hard to see coming.

She's young and beautiful.

You're just a tired old man.

What am I going to do?

You mean if you were you or if you were me?

I'll divorce her...

Call my lawyer in the morning.

I never want to see her again.

Divorce will cost you.

I say you take matters into your own hands.

No, I...

No. No.

No, I can't. I can't.

Sure, you can.

No.

No.

No, I--

[car engine revs]

[Engine stops]

Koko?

Koko?

Aah!

Aah! Ellen!

Aah! Aah!

[Heart beating]

Ha ha ha!

[Heartbeat grows faster]

[Moaning]

[Heartbeat grows slower]

[Heart beating very slowly]

Sorry, old man.

[Beep]

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Is he dead yet?

Almost.

Joseph, this is Rick.

He's a puppeteer, just like you.

Aren't you, baby?

Mmm.

What do you think, Joe?

I know it's not as graceful

as what you do,

but I think with a little money--

your money--

I think he'll end up pretty damn good.

Bye, Joe.

You should get cleaned up.

Call 911.

Where'd you put the real koko?

He's under there.

Come on. We don't have that much time.

O.K.

Uhh!

Rick?

Rick, what are you doing the paramedics are coming.

Rick, what are you doing?

You have to get out of here.

This isn't funny.

Up here, kiddo.

Aah!

Aah!

You're not going to believe this.

Yeah, I've seen just about everything.

Not like this you haven't.

Ha ha ha!

Koko may have been the puppet,

but in the end,

Joseph was the one who paid formarrying-ette.

As for me, kiddies,

it seems my pain in the neck

was more serious than I thought,

but I'm almost finished with myscare-apy.

One more adjustment, and I'll be out of here.

Any time you're ready, bones.

Hee hee hee!

Now, that's what I call painin full!