Original subtitles

WOMAN: Are you sure you're doing it right?

WOMAN: Shush. Shush.

Is it hurting?

Oh, I can take it.

Hold still.

Just like that.

(CAMERA SNAPS)

Oh.

Oh, that is sexy.

I've nailed it.

Mm-mm.

An erotic knotting course.

That's bold even for you, Ginger.

You know I like to try new things.

And did he suggest the course or did you?

Mm. Stupid question.

Don't give me attitude, dude.

You and I are both single at the same time for once,

and I'm being a great role model for you.

I mean, are you sure you should even be on the app

doing all this stuff already?

It's only been, what, a month?

Dickface was fucking women two days after we split.

Why shouldn't I?

You know, I think I broke up with him

way, way before he broke up with me.

In my head, I was just in denial.

You don't want to, I don't know,

spend just a little bit of time thinking about your options?

Oh, um, no.

I understand why you're not rushing into anything.

Ah. Mature choice. Oh, thank you.

But...

..I just want to get out there and do it.

Mm-hm. Huh.

Hm.

Open up. Mmm.

OK.

What about you? Mm.

How's all this, um...dating app doom and gloom going, huh?

(LAUGHS) Oh, my God.

It is really dire.

I have been six months single.

Not one decent hit.

Maybe I should just quit while I'm ahead, huh?

Mm-hm.

OK. OK.

My toast.

Bring it in.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Here's to you.

Breaking the drought with someone who can see just how golden

and awesome and legendary you are...

..until they find out you're insane.

(BOTH LAUGH)

No.

(PHONE TRILLS)

(MUTTERS)

Nine...

Oh, fuck it.

Oh, she's hot.

Oh, it says she's vegan.

She's driving two hours to get here.

Do you reckon I should warn her?

What?

You haven't had sex for five years due to lesbian bed death?

Fuck, no.

Technically, not five years.

You really think that I should do this?

Just only do it if you're ready.

Oh, I'm ready.

I'm ready to fuck. I'm down for it.

I mean, I am...

(SHOUTS) ..down to fuck!

Whoo!

Oh, my God.

(VEHICLE APPROACHES)

Oh, shit.

(KNOCKS ON DOOR) Hey.

Hey, come on in. Hello, how are you?

Good. I... Sorry, I'll get the door.

It's a... It's like a Japanese erotic knotting technique.

OK. Mm-hm.

God, I've never heard of shibari.

Wow.

Does that make me deeply uncool?

Yeah, it does. Yeah. OK, cool.

(LAUGHS)

My best mate, um...

She's into all of this experimental stuff.

Shibari. Moving to the mountains.

I followed her up here,

and now I just live vicariously through her, think.

More? Mm. Please.

Fill it up.

My ex managed to fit our kid into her schedule,

so I can let loose.

Well, that's good.

Mm-hm. Yeah.

Well, cheers to finding someone on the apps

who isn't weird or disappointing.

Yeah, I mean, I, um...

To be honest, I mean, fuck, I wasn't even going to say anything,

but I think I'm a little bit drunk.

You're actually the...

..the first person that I've met on the app.

What?

Really? Yeah.

I've just come out of a 20-year relationship, and...

Wow.

20 years. That's big.

Yeah. So, look, just to be very clear,

I'm looking for something really light and casual.

Yeah, same.

Very light and casual.

OK. Um...

I made dessert.

You did not. Whackadoo. Yeah.

(LAUGHS)

It's carrot cake.

I've absolutely no idea if it's any good, but...

That is so aggressively nice of you.

Oh, you know...

I like cooking.

Mm.

Thank you. Mm.

And it's vegan?

Ah, it's carrot cake.

Yeah, but with eggs?

Oh, shit.

Fuck.

Oh, man. I...

I'm so... No, no, no.

Honestly, it happens. No. I'm... Uh...

I'm not used to the vegan thing, and I...I...

You know, I swapped out the butter and the oil, but I...

The eggs. She didn't think of the eggs. Good.

Fuck.

Oh.

Oh. I have to tell you something before we go any further.

OK.

Sex with me can get a bit hectic.

OK.

It's just like...

It's very...very wet.

I'm a... Oh, you're a squirter.

Yeah. I'm really...

I'm very down with that, so...

Yeah, but...but...but it is, like, water sports.

That's really OK.

(GROANS)

(GROANS, LAUGHS)

(GROANS)

(GROANS ECSTATICALLY)

You're insanely sexy.

This doesn't happen with everyone, you know.

Oh, that's so hot. (LAUGHS)

(GROANS)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)

Hmm.

Hey. Good morning.

Hey. Um... Dress?

Yeah.

I've got an appointment in the city.

OK. It's a long drive.

Last night was great.

I'll message you.

(EXHALES)

(DOOR SHUTS)

(MOANS)

(VEHICLE IGNITION RUMBLES)

Fuck.

(GENTLE MUSIC)

How many litres are we talking?

I don't know. It was a lot.

I mean, I don't know if it was a full litre, but it was a lot.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Where's it come from?

She must get dehydrated.

Yeah, probably.

Did it feel good?

Yeah, it did...did feel good.

Felt pretty good to be on top of someone again.

I wonder if they do squirting courses.

I'd like to know how it feels.

Ow. Well, you come to the right place.

You know, it doesn't happen with everyone, apparently.

(PHONE CHIMES)

Oh... Don't move. You'll ruin it.

Ooh.

It's Lili. What does she say?

Can you tell me what it says?

She's sent a whole lot of squirt emojis.

You jealous?

"I can drive up on Friday night."

I don't know if I want to see her again.

Why not?

I mean, she's nice.

She's clearly into you.

What's the problem?

Oh!

Mama says yes. No.

(EXCLAIMS)

LILI: Hello!

Hey.

I wasn't expecting you till 8.

I'm early.

Mmm. (CHUCKLES)

Whoops! Oh, my God. (BOTH LAUGH)

(LAUGHS)

(BOTH GROAN)

(WATER TRICKLES)

(BOTH GROAN)

(GROANS ECSTATICALLY)

How does it feel to squirt like that?

Ah, it's incredible.

It's like...

It's very mind, body.

Like I...

I need to super turned on and safe for it to happen.

Oh, fuck, you feel good. Mmm.

Mmm...

I feel so connected to you.

So Lili thought all those photos on the fridge were my ex,

which was, you know, an interesting thing.

This cheese is a mouth fuck.

Hey, she wants to come up again this weekend.

Yeah. I told her that she could,

but I don't think I'll see her again after that.

Huh. That's a bums.

Was kind of hoping you'd keep seeing her.

Why?

So that part of your life is sorted.

It doesn't have to be love.

It can just be physical, right?

Yeah, but I don't think it's sex I'm needing.

I mean, you know, I can get off on my own anytime.

I think that...

..I need other things.

Alright, so if you're not going to carry on...

..then don't make her drive all the way up here, dude.

Call her. Save her the trip.

Well, you know, she's organised a kid...

..and she's gunning for it, so...

It sounds like you're using her.

Well, I'll tell her before we have sex, so there's no confusion.

Yeah, sure you will.

I've been looking forward to this all week.

Can we please have a chat...

..first?

Oh, OK. Um...

Yeah, actually, there is something that I've been meaning to tell you.

Oh, OK. Yeah.

Do you remember that, um... that appointment I had in the city?

Um...

No, it was with a, um... a plastic surgeon.

No, not my face. Right.

No, no, we're good. Um...

Have you heard of the BRCA gene?

Uh, yeah, that's the cancer thing?

Um, sort of.

It's a genetic thing that makes you more likely

to develop certain cancers, like breast and ovarian.

And the risk sort of climbs after a certain age.

And the only way to prevent it is surgery...

..which I've decided to do.

A double mastectomy next week.

Shit. Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah. It's obviously not sunshine and rainbows,

so I don't really tell people unless...

..um...

Well, if this is going to be a thing, you sort of need to know.

I totally understand if it's too weird or...

No, God, no, it's not weird at all.

It's just a lot. For you, it's a lot.

Yeah. Look, I mean, I wasn't going to tell you.

No, no, please.

Of course you should have told me.

Yeah, I guess I just...

I wanted you to know that...

..having something to look forward to this week has been everything.

OK.

I'm glad.

(VEHICLE DOOR SHUTS, IGNITION RUMBLES)

(PHONE BEEPS)

(OVER PHONE) Hi, it's Lili. Can't get to the phone right now.

But leave a message after the beep.

(PHONE BEEPS)

Hey, Lili. I just heard you driving off.

Sorry, I slept through.

Listen, I can't stop thinking about what you're going through,

and I just think that you're...

..going to need a hell of a lot of support right now, and I'm...

..just not sure that I can be the one to give it.

Like I said at the start, I just...

I don't think I can do anything serious right now.

I think you're really fucking great.

I just think it's probably best if we leave things where they are.

Um... Good luck with the surgery. I mean that.

And I hope it all goes really smoothly.

(VEHICLE APPROACHES)

Sorry. What the fuck was that?

Did you just dump me on a voice message?

What are you, 14 years old? No, no.

Hey, I didn't dump you. We're not together.

We're fucking. Oh, OK, cool.

You could have told me to my face.

What? I... You were...

Like, I was asleep and you left, and I didn't want to ghost you.

Oh, OK. Thanks.

That's a piece of shit thing to do.

OK. I gave you an out.

If this freaked you out so much, then why...

No, no, that doesn't freak me out at all.

Well, OK, then, what the fuck?

I said it to you in that message.

I can't support you.

I didn't ask for your support.

Cara, I have my friends and family to support me.

OK, well, then why would you... why would you bring this to me

when we'd agreed to keep things casual?

Oh, is that what this feels like?

Yeah.

Yeah. Until all that. Yes, it did.

That is such bullshit. No, we both agreed.

No, no. You clearly have no idea how to be honest.

I'm sorry.

Fuck you.

Fuck off.

(FOOTSTEPS CRUNCH)

(IGNITION RUMBLES)

It's just I was so clear from up front.

Nothing serious. That was the contract.

Show me where she signed. (CAMERA SNAPS)

Oh, and by the way, leaving...

What was it? A voice note?

That was a dick move. I'm not a dick.

No, you ARE a dick.

You don't HAVE a dick.

Oh, great gag, Ginge. Yeah.

Are you angry with me?

No. No.

No, I'm not angry with you.

I'm in love with you, you dumb cunt.

OK. Are you trying to gaslight me now? Is that...

Before you broke up with him, you told me that you had feelings.

Oh. Oh, whoa. OK.

Just because you have feelings,

it doesn't mean you have to act on them or...

..turn it into a whole relationship.

OK, but...

I mean...

Ginge, I mean, the things that you've said

and the things that... that you've done...

We've done weddings, we've done funerals.

We've... We've holidayed together. We've...

..cooked with kids.

We've even fucked, for Christ's sake.

I mean, that is a whole relationship, Ginger.

When did we fuck?

Oh, come on. Don't.

No. Was it the night that, what, I...I got drunk and I...

..and I threw up in Dickface's car so I came to yours?

Yeah. Yeah. That night. Yep. Mm-hm. Yeah.

But I also sprained my ankle climbing onto the garage roof,

and then I...I went home, still drunk,

and fucked Dickface in the morning.

Why...

Why do you have to focus on the one part of the story

that involves fucking you?

Can you please get this off? OK. Stop, stop, stop.

I don't want it... Hey, hey, hey. Hey. Don't. Stop.

Shh. Hey. Hey.

Just...

You're right.

You're right about us having everything else.

OK?

I love you so much, honey.

So, so much.

Our friendship is incredibly special.

But now you're, what, saying...

..it doesn't mean anything unless we make it sexual?

No. I mean...

I'm saying that the reason that it's special is because

I am giving you the whole of me.

(CRIES)

And I don't...

How do I even start to give that to somebody else

while I feel like this about you?

I don't know how to do that.

(AINSLIE WILLS' 'EVERYTHING' PLAYS)

(WATER RUSTLES)

('EVERYTHING' CONTINUES)

# Hands are open wide

# My heart's exposed and wide

# Tell me I'm enough

# Tell me I am everything you are

# I've been here before, so I'll be fine

# The love of my life

(CRIES)

# I'll hold close the memories in my mind

# Ooh, ooh

# Ooh, ooh, ooh

# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh... #

Hey.

Hey, how are you feeling?

Um...

Like a science experiment.

A hot science experiment.

Yeah, I...

I just really wanted you to know that you were right.

I wasn't being honest.

So it was because of all of this?

No. God, no.

No, not at all.

Then it's the squirting.

Um, it wasn't the squirting.

It wasn't the squirting. It was, um...

No. That made me feel like a total rockstar, actually. So thank you.

Mmm...

The best friends?

Yeah. I, um...

I've been pretty distracted for...

..uh, quite a while, actually.

And I was using you, and I'm sorry.

OK.

OK.

Well, um...

..if it makes you feel...

..any less shitty...

..me too.

After I made the decision to...

My ex...

..stopped touching me.

I just wanted to have sex again while I still had them.

So.

I was using you too.

That makes me feel so less shitty.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Oh. Oh. So... So...

(GENTLE MUSIC)

(BOTH TALK INDISTINCTLY)

# I'll keep stumbling over

# Mm, mm

# Tryin' to find my way

# To you

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

# 'Cause I may be hard to please

# I might step on your toes

# And I know I'm being needy

# But I just want you close

# Mmm, mmm, mmm... #

Captions by Red Bee Media (c) SBS Australia 2023