Original subtitles

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[PRINTER WHIRRING]

[JET PASSING OVERHEAD]

MAN: G'day, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to Australia.

As you know,

Australia is an island which has been isolated

from many dangerous animal and plant diseases.

The cabin area is now being sprayed

by quarantine officers.

This is an essential precaution against the insects

which might otherwise introduce

human or agricultural diseases into Australia.

Please ensure that you remain seated

until the spraying is completed.

If you experience discomfort from aerosol sprays,

we suggest you place a handkerchief

over your nose and mouth.

Thank you for your attention.

[BECKER SNEEZING]

[PRINTER WHIRRING]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[MACHINES BEEPING]

WOMAN: A gentleman to see you.

Uh, Frank Hunter?

Becker.

Atlanta, Georgia, USA.

Who from where?

Becker.

Atlanta, Georgia.

Straight from the airport.

Just dropped my cargo bag and stuff off at a hotel

and came right here.

This is beautiful.

I'm pleased to meet you, Becker.

What can I do for you?

I was to report to you today, wasn't I?

- Telex just arrived. - Uh, thank you.

Excuse me.

Sit down, please.

Ah, yes.

It's all here.

You beat your assignment papers.

I like a man who arrives before his print-out.

I just never understand

why these telexes always arrive damp.

Well, Becker, they call you,

for my eyes only,

"a brilliant trouble-shooter."

That's about right.

My only problem is I'm not aware

that we're in any kind of trouble.

Well, that's why I'm here.

I'm sorry.

I guess everybody has trouble.

BECKER: We have a month.

What for?

To get a job done.

To find firstly, where the trouble is,

secondly, why it is,

thirdly, devise a strategy,

and four, act.

It sounds simple.

It is.

You'll see.

Can I offer you something, coffee, tea?

Yes, please.

Well, which would you like?

Coffee or tea?

Yeah, that's fine with me, coffee or tea.

Thanks.

[WHISTLE BLOWS IN DISTANCE] [MARCHING BAND MUSIC]

How are you, little guy?

[MOUSE SQUEAKING]

Okay, little guy.

Sssaah!

Sssaah!

Sssaah sssaah sssaah sssaah!

Whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo!

Whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo!

Sssaah sssaah sssaah sssaah sssaah!

Hai eee,

Hoooh!

Shee!

Boi shee!

Whoo, whooo, whooo, whoo!

Your breakfast, sir.

Welcome to Australia.

Everybody's happy to see you here, sir.

I won't say who or why, according to instructions.

Take care of your jet lag, sir,

and have a very, very nice day.

What the hell was that?

WOMAN: I took about six hours straight through.

MAN: Buy your Australian here! Get your Australian here!

What d'you wanna, what d'you wanna buy?

What are you reading? Get your Australian here!

Get your Tatts lotto weekly numbers!

[MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

Uh, excuse me, sir,

do you, uh, sell American newspapers here?

American newspapers?

This is Australia, mate.

We sell Australian papers, hmm.

Well, that would be appropriate, yes.

MAN: Right on.

Take it or leave it.

I'll leave it. Thanks.

- G'day, Mr. Becker. - Hello.

MAN: Have a nice day.

TERRI: Mr. Hunter told me

I'll be working as your secretary while you're here.

Well, that's just fine.

It's almost nine o'clock.

I'll see you at the office.

TERRI: Oh, right.

See you.

- Frank, can we talk now? - Come in, Fred.

Shut the door.

Frank, what's going on?

Our advice from headquarters

is "Listen to him.

Don't get angry.

Don't get scared, either.

And do not be surprised."

How am I supposed not to get surprised

when he walks into my office

and asks can he borrow a Bible?

They call him "whiz kid."

They advise don't try to understand him.

They don't.

They just know he doubles and triples sales in no time.

He asked me if I'd ever heard anything

I'd call an Australian sound.

Hmm.

Did you?

And you should know, Coca-Cola is sold

in 155 nations across the world,

and it is the same drink everywhere.

[TERRI HUMMING]

We have more markets than the United Nations.

Well-

Every day, 260 million people

pause for that moment of refreshment,

that unparalleled moment, underline unparalleled.

Whoops.

Well, if you don't want to understand

what my point is.

Okay, what's your point?

If men and women are gonna work together,

something might happen.

I don't want to hear that.

Let there be no misunderstanding.

Our policies and strategies

will be dictated by the needs and desires

of the consuming public.

"Needs and desires,"

Needs and desires of what?

Maybe you're just not interested in women.

[DIDGERIDOO MUSIC]

Do you hear that sound?

It's a very specific sound.

MAN: Get your truth here.

Get your truth here.

Words on every page.

Girls and news.

Girls and news.

Cartoons and girls.

Cartoons, girls, and news.

[DIDGERIDOO DRONING]

Excuse me, sir.

I would love to have your picture,

click, click click, click,

and your sound.

You're going to use me in the movies?

Yes!

Movie.

My phone number.

If I'm not here,

the fellows know where to find me.

Ring me agent.

Mr. Joe.

Yeah. - Thank you very much.

[BLOWING INTO MICROPHONE]

You may be asking yourselves,

"What is an ex-marine doing on this side of the globe?"

Well, as you may or may not know,

marines fall on every continent on the face of the earth

except Australia, so here I am.

First, we have to ask ourselves

do we need to explain our product to the public?

Last year in Rome,

I had a chance to talk with one of the top guys

in the Jesuit hierarchy, and he told me,

he said they consider us,

excuse me, miss, your feet belong on the floor,

they consider us, in bringing God's business

of good will and good news to the people,

no less than second to themselves

in this whole wide God-fearing world.

Yes.

They see us as the smart guys

who distribute and sell the miracle of America.

And that's exactly what we are.

When you have a product with charisma,

you don't have to explain a goddamn thing, no.

Here you go, honey.

You need only bring it to the people.

Good catch.

[CHUCKLING]

Try to analyze it,

and you'll end up

with, uh, "dark color, cold, wet, and bubbly."

Come on.

That is no way to explain

what getting in touch with the American way of life

really means to billions of people.

[SODA FIZZING]

Listen, the sound of Coke.

[SODA FIZZING]

Mmm!

Dark and bubbly.

Why our dark and bubbly liquid is so loved

by all those Eskimos and other Canadians

we don't need to know.

We need only just to bring it to the people.

All right.

PROJECTIONIST: Okay, here we are.

Oh, sorry about that.

It won't take a sec.

Whenever you're ready, Mr. Projectionist.

PROJECTIONIST: Just getting the focus.

HUNTER: This is quite a pretty effect, Daryl.

We're working on it. [CHUCKLING]

Let us take a look at available charts

of crosscheck points and social activities

of our selling outlets, shall we?

Excuse me, please.

DARYL: Sorry, boss.

[COMPUTER BEEPING]

Frank, have them take it back again.

Take it back, Fred.

Well, how far back do you want?

As far as it takes, Fred.

Could you take that back, please, Daryl.

[COMPUTER BEEPING]

Fred, give me a break.

The other way.

The other way.

- More. - More.

- More. - More.

- More. - More?

- Stop. - Stop!

BECKER: Frank, what is that wide gap there?

Is that a per capita consumption chart?

Yes, that's right.

Um, I don't know what's there.

Must be a national park or maybe a desert.

Mm-hmm.

Well, we should be selling

in national parks and in deserts.

People tend to get thirsty in deserts, Fred.

Maybe it's uninhabited.

I have a hunch there must be somebody there.

All right, take me in for a closer look.

Give me churches,

schools,

bars.

Oh, that would be Anderson Valley.

Playgrounds, supermarkets, cemeteries.

See?

There is a living population there.

A few thousand maybe.

It's pretty isolated.

Well, they must have throats.

I mean, they must drink something.

There used to be a soft-drink man

down there, but, um,

[CLEARING THROAT], that was a long time ago now.

Well, what the hell is he, Frank,

a Pepsi man?

Frank, I asked you a question.

There's no Pepsi or Coke in Anderson Valley, I'm afraid.

How come she knows that and you don't, Frank?

I come from there.

I know the man.

Is she telling me that this man

makes his own soft drink, Frank?

Since the beginning of time.

Good ones.

And he sells where we can't?

Fred, I want you to get me

all the data on that place.

I want to know why, in the whole goddamn world,

that we don't sell a single bottle down there.

He owns Anderson Valley.

He owns the people.

He owns the birds and the trees.

Rent me a 4-wheel-drive for tomorrow morning,

please, will you?

Now.

Sure.

I want to see this Anderson Valley.

Uh, right.

Uh, Fred, what are you doing for the next couple of days?

Frank, I want to go alone.

He might prefer to go alone, Frank.

Take a gun.

[CHUCKLING] "Take a gun."

Projectionist,

would you see to it that those tapes

end up on my office desk, please.

Okay.

She'll be right, mate. - Thank you.

She's right, China.

Say what?

Anytime.

Frank, have you seen the projectionist?

The guy is wearing a fucking Pepsi t-shirt.

Well, I wouldn't worry about it.

He's just having us on.

It's Australian humor.

It's product disloyalty is what it is, Frank.

Oh, come off it, Becker.

I mean, look at it this way.

There's probably a guy over at Pepsi

wearing one of our T-shirts.

And he called me China.

Now why in the hell

would he call me China?

I don't know.

Maybe it's your squinty eyes.

Frank,

I didn't expect to find anything like this

on the floor in the office.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I was feeding the fish.

I don't want to see

anything like that again, miss.

Terri.

The name's Terri.

Yes, ma'am, I know what your name is.

[TYPEWRITER BEEPING]

Speaking of the significance

of personal disorder,

J.F.K., John Fitzgerald Kennedy,

he used to comb his hair 15 minutes

before leaving Air Force One.

His aides were, of course, complaining.

And what did he say?

He said, "It is not Jack Kennedy

that's going to walk off this plane,

but the United States of America."

Hmm,

Okay, Becker.

Let's call it a day, shall we?

I'll see you in the morning.

[PENCILS RATTLE]

Excuse me, sir,

is there anything I can do for you?

Excuse me, sir.

- Where's my alimony? - Kim!

You shouldn't have come here. [SIGHING]

Wait a minute.

Where's the 227 bucks for our daughter?

Look, I'm telling you,

just get out of here.

- You know I still love you. - Hello, security.

[ALL CHATTERING]

Why isn't anybody there?

Thank you, security.

Who is this?

Cleaning lady!

Kim, Kim!

Get off!

Thank you, cleaning lady.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Excuse me, sir,

I hate mixing into family affairs,

but I recommend you start behaving right now.

What are you, her new protector?

Beep-beep. [LAUGHING]

That's a nice tie, eh?

[KIM HUMMING]

Please, stop.

[MEN GRUNTING]

KIM: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

I only came here for my alimony!

Security!

Okay.

You sit real still.

Security!

[MEN GRUNTING]

Have you got him?

All right. Take him.

Take him.

He's yours, he's yours.

Yeah.

Terri, call the police, please.

[MEN GRUNTING]

KIM: Whoa, ohh, whoa-ho!

I still want a family, you know.

Excuse me, miss.

What are you doing? - What does it look like?

Well, it looks like you're making

photocopies of your face.

That's what I'm doing.

Yes, ma'am.

No. What I meant was,

what are you doing in this office?

I come here all the time.

I'm DMZ.

That's what my parents call me.

It means demilitarized zone.

When they throw things at each other,

I'm off limits.

You have a seat right there.

What's your name?

TERRI: Rebecca?

You can call me the Coca-Cola Kid.

- Rebecca! - Okay?

- Oh, look, I- - Hi, mommy.

I'm really sorry.

I, Look, sorry,

that was Kim, my ex-husband.

He's, um, he's very political,

and he's dedicated to his beliefs.

You see, he makes his own vodka.

It's, uh, something from potatoes

and chopped wood, I believe.

It messes him up real bad.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, let's just see to it

that's not repeated, shall we?

Oh, no.

Look, it won't be repeated.

He never does the same thing twice.

Bye, Coca-Cola kid!

[SOFT MUSIC]

[PLANE ENGINE ROARING]

And what the hell are you doing?

Sorry, mate.

Must have scared you shitless, eh?

Uh, yeah, you did.

Um, look, I'm really sorry.

I...

Got some water in the tank.

Are you hurt, ma'am?

PILOT: He means you.

Are you hurt?

No, no.

It's Duncan.

It's Duncan.

Poor soul.

He fell down the well.

He's broken his arm.

BECKER: Aw, he's all bunged up.

Looks like I got some trouble with the plugs.

Can you help us?

You put your hands around my neck

and fall back.

There you go. That's all right.

You know, this is what marines are for.

Oh. Oh, you're a dear.

Just imagine, no man has carried me in his arms

since 1945, and I like it.

Oh, thank you, young man.

JULIANA: You're pretty strong for someone so cute.

I'm Juliana.

Mr. Marine.

Uh, my name's Becker, Atlanta, Georgia, USA.

JULIANA: This is my aunt Mrs. Haversham.

How do you do, Mrs. Haversham?

JULIANA: We're just taking Duncan to the vet.

I'll have you there in no time.

Here.

I believe this is yours. - Great.

Sweetie, Duncan.

How's he doing, Mrs. Haversham?

Oh, he's wonderful. He's so patient.

Grab this.

- Hi, how you doing? - All right.

MAN: Hey, Lofty

Did your missis get those roses

and the cow manure I sent over?

[XYLOPHONE RINGS]

Hello.

My name is Becker.

You need a doctor, sir?

No.

I need a room.

Let me get some medical attention

for you, sir. - No. Oh, oh, oh.

Well, you're not gonna believe this

if I tell you, but I was driving my Jeep,

and this plane comes overhead and lands

right in from of me.

This little lady was sitting there.

I, uh, I took a fellow to a hospital.

Oh, I see.

I need a room.

Just put your name there, sir.

Mm-hmm.

What's your, uh, what's your business?

Coca-Cola International.

Oh, you must be here to see T. George, then, eh?

No, not at all.

Why?

Who's T. George?

Everybody knows T. George, sir.

And every year some fellow comes from Coca-Cola

to talk to him.

Heh.

And they're never heard of

or seen again, right?

Heh heh.

Straight across, sir.

May I speak to Mr. McDowell?

- Who's calling, sir? - Uh, my name is Becker.

I'm visiting from the United States.

- Mr. Becker? - Yes, ma'am.

WOMAN: Is this a tourist visit, sir?

Heh heh.

Why, no, ma'am.

This is not a tourist visit.

I'd, uh, I'd like to arrange a meeting with Mr. McDowell

to discuss some business, if I might.

WOMAN: Mr. McDowell isn't available at the moment.

Say what?

WOMAN: I'm sorry.

Mr. McDowell is very busy at the moment.

Well, I understand that Mr. McDowell is very busy.

WOMAN: Can I take a message for him?

[SOFT MUSIC]

[DOG BARKING]

MAN: You got it!

Move it across here.

MEN: One, two, three, four, up!

[ALL LAUGHING]

Everything's apple pulp.

[DOG BARKING]

[HORN TOOTING] [DOG BARKING]

WOMAN: Justin!

[SHUTTER CLICKS]

[DOG BARKING]

[GUN FIRING]

[BIRDS SQUAWKING]

[ENGINE REVVING]

How you doing tonight?

I'm sorry, sir.

You aren't booked in here anymore.

Like hell I'm not.

Is this your luggage, sir?

We thought, uh,

the boss said that, uh, you were checked out.

Well, you can tell the boss

I'm checking in again, okay?

Shh.

There aren't any rooms.

It looks to me like

there's plenty of keys for rooms.

There are keys, sir,

but there aren't any rooms.

Jesus Christ.

What the hell is going on?

I could let you have a steak

or a cup of tea or something?

It'll calm you right down.

T. George.

T. George.

I didn't mention any names, sir.

Please.

Shh, shh.

Something to eat, sir?

Are there any other motels or hotels

in this friendly town?

- Afraid not, sir. - Mm-hmm.

That's nice.

Best in the West, sir.

It ain't that goddamn good.

Let that be a lesson to you.

You can't come in here.

It's the inner sanctum.

Hmph.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[BIRD CAWS]

Morning.

Morning.

The last thing I ever expected to see up here

was a camel.

I was riding a wombat up till this morning.

Broke a leg and had to shoot him.

Push down. - What?

[CAMEL GROANS]

Hold it there.

I'll get to you over tea.

[CAMEL GROANING]

Settle.

What are you doing?

Tea for two.

Far away from home, eh?

Yeah.

I can't understand people who can't stay home,

looking for trouble,

taking risks they don't need.

Look, I appreciate your tea, but, um,

you can keep your advice, okay?

Oh, you shouldn't listen to an old fart like me.

You're an American.

You should know better.

You bet.

It's good tea.

What's your point, mister?

Well, you see, around here,

I'm like the Lone Ranger.

Special constable.

I got to move you on.

And what if I don't want to move?

[FIRE HISSING]

[MAN CLEARING THROAT]

This is getting very serious.

[DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

Hey, McDowell. - That's me.

BECKER: Here's your boy.

What can I do for you, sir?

- Nothing, I'm afraid. - Yankee bastard.

I like a tenacious man.

Come, I'll show you the plant.

[MACHINERY RUMBLING]

15,000 bottles a week and nine varieties,

and I crush my own fruit.

Well, not many operators still crush their own fruit,

that's for goddamn sure.

I am the last.

Started in 1924 at 18 years of age.

You will note this was before refrigeration.

BECKER: Yes, sir.

MCDOWELL: Have you ever tried selling soft drinks

when there is no refrigeration?

- No, sir. - We started with crushed ice.

I brought crushed ice to this country.

Nothing man has invented

will ever be better than ice.

Ice is silent.

Ice does not destroy, it preserves.

For your face, kid.

Thank you, sir.

It is related to life, not death.

Oh, your compatriot,

the late Mr. Walt Disney,

is preserved on ice.

Well, let's hope it does him some good,

Mr. McDowell.

Oh, T. George.

Call me T. George.

Thanks.

What the hell is this doing here?

That is the woman of my life.

Say what?

Thelma,

The girl from Hobcoppin, Mississippi.

Oh, she was all over the town

during the famous rotary convention

I attended in St. Louis.

So you stole her from Coca-Cola?

Once I had seen this beautiful woman,

I couldn't rest

until I had found and, of course, married her

and brought her back here.

She never understood, ice.

She bore me a child

and soon afterwards killed herself,

and I've never forgiven her.

[DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

Uh, this is an original Eckersley carbonator.

I can't believe it.

And still in perfect working condition.

Uh, Mr. McDowell, uh, T. George,

I must confess,

you run an impressive operation,

but I don't imagine

your profit margin's overwhelming.

Oh, we're in the black.

Yeah, but you must be barely surviving.

Sir, the quality of my drinks is still the same

as 60 years and 27 international awards ago.

Uh, T. George.

Hmm?

I'm interested in helping you

move into modern times.

What do you say?

[UPBEAT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

I'm sure your help must be needed in some places.

And you should find those places

and help them as much as they'll let you.

Uh, Mr. McDowell,

there's something I'd like to impress on you.

I am the one who decides who needs my help.

[UPBEAT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

Well, I'm afraid my time is over.

That would be your choice, sir.

Your car is waiting.

Good-bye.

[DOG BARKING]

[BIRD SQUAWKING]

Which one do you think he'd like?

Who?

The Coca-Cola Kid.

I want you to take

some cookies to him at work.

TERRI: He doesn't like sweets.

He's not a sweets person.

Don't you like him, mommy?

He likes you.

No, he doesn't.

He doesn't like me at all.

Here, pop back a sec.

I think he likes you a lot.

You can tell by the way he looks at you.

[BIRD SQUAWKS]

What did I tell you?

You work on the weekends?

Nights, too.

You okay?

Certainly.

Mr. Becker, I'd like to work with you.

Look, I'm from the United States.

Okay?

I am American.

I know.

CIA.

You know, Frank,

he's got a real class operation.

It's like stepping back

into the goddamn 1920s.

Did you get your tires slashed?

No.

But I could well have come home

with a few holes in me.

Check this out.

FRANK: I didn't have the courage to tell you.

Thought you should find out for yourself.

- Thank you, Frank. - Well, Becker,

you're a miracle-maker.

You flushed him out.

Your pants are showing.

FRANK: Mr. McDowell has invited himself up to see us.

[ALL LAUGHING]

WOMAN: It's my turn to go to the post office.

- You always do. - I do not!

Terri!

What's all the racket?

[DOOR THUDS]

What the hell are you doing?

Hiding from my past.

Be professional.

Will it work, Mr. McDowell?

We can but try.

Ready, girls?

Come.

That's my girl.

FRANK: I think Mr. McDowell

has a proposition to put to us.

Why don't we go into business together?

I beg your pardon?

You market your drinks in my territory,

and you market my drinks internationally.

Is that so?

Well, uh, what do you think, Becker?

Fascinating.

We could avoid a trade war.

I'll put my proposition to you

as one marketing man to another.

May I?

Thank you.

Feel free.

I propose to call the line,

McCoke.

[BELLS JINGLING]

♪ Old McDee and Coca-Cola ♪

♪ Found a new brand, brand-new cola ♪

♪ Every bloke should drink McCoke ♪

♪ Every bloke should drink McCoke ♪

♪ Did you ever try that taste ♪

♪ You know right away it's great ♪

♪ Every bloke should drink McCoke ♪

♪ Every bloke should drink McCoke ♪

♪ What about our mountain well ♪

♪ Here our drinks sure taste swell ♪

♪ Every bloke should drink McCoke ♪

♪ Every bloke should drink McCoke ♪

[ALL CHATTERING]

MCDOWELL: Aren't they lovely?

Very nice.

- One for you. - Go ahead, try it.

It's a stronger combination than Coke,

but then, I like a drink

that hits the palate strongly.

Yep, 15,000 bottles a week in nine varieties,

cola, black currant, passion fruit, cream,

lemon-lime, orange, ginger ale, grape,

and, of course, tutti-frutti.

MAN: Thanks, love, I'll have that green one.

Is there an office in here

with a window facing north?

Look at that.

[UPBEAT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

The pilot is an old friend of mine,

George Scribner.

I owe part of my success

to the use of his skywriting,

especially at country shows.

[UPBEAT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

FRANK: Fascinating presentation.

Please, drink up.

I sense your resistance.

Well, I'm too old a salesman,

been on the road too long

not to know when I've met resistance.

I sense your amusement at an old man's ideas.

Well, gentlemen,

may I ask you to sleep on it?

Well, I always say

there are 3 sides to every question,

your own side, the other fellow's side,

and, uh, the right side.

Uh, Mr. McDowell,

I'll be down your way very soon.

Hmm.

Thank you for coming.

MCDOWELL: Come, girls.

Congratulations, Becker.

You got him.

Jesus, Frank,

the man has his pride.

Christ, Becker, don't be so damn serious.

I just don't think it calls for

a goddamn comedy routine, that's all.

FRED: He's still up there.

He's still writing it up there.

Fred,

I should get back to work.

FRED: Silly old bugger, spoiling our view.

McCoke!

I'm so sorry, I,

I have something I have to tell you.

I'm not interested!

But the thing is-

I am not interested, okay?

Now, whether you're on something

or just plain crazy

is none of my business.

Yeah, but-

Let's just part our ways amicably, okay?

Yeah, but the thing is-

Shut up, you half-wit!

I'm sorry.

Good God, girl, you are a mess.

If, uh, if you resign from your job

for, uh, personal reasons,

it will save you from getting fired.

Now, get your things together.

[DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

My daughter wanted me to give you this.

Thank you.

[TERRI SNIFFLES]

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Dee dee dee ♪

[BOTH LAUGHING]

It's getting really long.

Do you think my hair will grow

as long as Rapunzel's?

- Who? - Rapunzel.

You remember, that girl who grew her hair long.

And, and the lady was jealous,

so she put her up in a tower

as a prisoner,

and then the prince came and rescued her

because she let her long, long hair down

and he climbed up.

- And then what? - Then they went

to the palace.

And then

they got married.

And then they lived happily ever after.

[MOUSE SQUEAKING]

[WHISTLE BLOWS IN DISTANCE] [MARCHING BAND MUSIC]

[SOFT MUSIC]

How you doin' there, good to see you. Hi, how you doing?

JOE: Thank you.

Uh, which one of you is the leader?

Looks like it's me.

- How you doing? - Hi. I'm Phillip.

Phillip, what is this?

You sing for the labor party?

Yeah, it was a wash-out.

We did it just as a gig.

It was, you know, it was well-paid.

We're not political.

Well, I can't use you if you're anti-American.

We're not anti-American.

We're very positive.

We don't even eat meat.

Peace.

- Anti-nuke? - Not at all.

We're the people of the sound.

No opinions.

We play for money.

We're very good, sir.

Use your ears, sir.

[LIGHT PIANO MUSIC]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[WHISTLES] Now.

See, what we're after here is,

The Australian sound.

What that is, hell knows,

but that's what I'm paying you for.

Right, fellas?

Now, when you say sound,

do you mean musical sound or anything at all?

[GUITAR MUSIC]

I don't know, Phillip.

But then, I don't have to know, do I?

I just have to know who can do it

and pay 'em to do it.

Come on, guys.

Here's the sound.

Coo coo coo.

Coo coo coo coo coo coo kaa kaa.

Baaa.

[ALL IMITATING ANIMALS]

How was that, Mr. Becker?

Well, you tell me.

Is that the Australian sound?

I mean, do we have the Australian sound here?

I'd say that was easily as Australian

as, um, well, a barbed-wire canoe.

As Australian as, um, a shit sandwich.

That's great, that's great.

Let's, uh, lay one down, shall we?

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ Ow ♪

♪ Don't want to go where there's no Coca-Cola ♪

♪ You've got ♪

♪ Life by the throat when you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Choke back the tears when there's no Coca-Cola ♪

♪ You've got ♪

♪ Life by the throat when you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Under the hot sun ♪

♪ When the day is done ♪

♪ And you're dying of thirst ♪

♪ There's only one drink, it's universal ♪

♪ Don't want to go where there's no Coca-Cola ♪

♪ You've got ♪

♪ Life by the throat when you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Choke back the tears when there's no Coca-Cola ♪

♪ You've got ♪

♪ Life by the throat when you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Life by the throat when you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Life by the throat when you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ keeps you up 'cause there's nothing like Coke ♪

How's that, Mr. Becker?

Well,

I say we go again.

Let's go for that extra mile, okay?

[LIGHT PIANO MUSIC]

[LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

Can I buy you a drink?

Nope.

I like you, you know,

even though I got the sack.

That's good, Terri,

because you ain't comin' back.

I'd like to be left alone, please, ma'am.

Just a friendly drink, nothing else.

BECKER: I'd like to be left alone.

[VIDEO GAME BEEPING]

Listen, Phillip,

don't ask me why.

Just bring Becker to my party,

dead or alive.

Okay.

Now, look.

How should I talk to him?

Like a woman? - Oh,

just be natural, Marjorie.

It's fabulous.

[SOFT ROCK MUSIC]

That's great, it's great.

He's coming!

Hi.

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ Nobody knows to wait for me ♪

♪ I'm on the way ♪

Hi.

I'm Marjorie.

Uh, my name is Becker.

Becker.

Becker, want to dance?

Uh, I'm, uh, not a very good dancer.

That's okay.

I'll tell you everything you need to know.

You know, Becker,

the best thing for jet lag is dancing.

Well, I'm long over my jet lag.

I'll tell you something.

Foreigners, when they come to this country,

they never lose it.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

You know, Becker,

you are really good-looking.

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ Nobody knows the difference ♪

♪ Between the bite ♪

♪ And the bark ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ Nobody's out of danger ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ The spaces will be filled ♪

Phillip?

♪ 'Cause the night is right ♪

Excuse me, Marjorie.

Thank you very much. - My pleasure, Becker.

♪ Tonight, the night breaks ♪

Oh, look, man,

it's really kinda late and been one hell of a day.

Look, I should be home in bed.

As a matter of fact, I should've been in bed

hours ago.

Relax, man.

Have some fun.

Have some fun.

Come on, man. - Have a drink.

Uh, Phillip, are, uh, these girls girls?

They're all girls.

Mr. Becker?

- Yes? Ohh! - Fancy you being here.

It's my secretary.

Terri, uh, it-it's an error that I'm here.

It's a terrible error.

Look, I hope you'll be discreet about this.

No, why is that?

Is this what you're into?

No, I'm not!

So, you're the Coke dealer, aren't you?

Get away from him!

God!

God damn! Ohh!

♪ Strange night ♪

♪ These thoughts are not too hard to find ♪

♪ Strange night ♪

- What's going on? - You're leaving.

That's what's going on.

Hey, who asked you?

Who asked me? I did.

Oh, Hawaiian dress on, huh?

I don't want these freaks near my daughter!

Come on, leave!

Get out, you perverts!

- This is my place! - Look, I don't want them

around my daughter.

Get out!

You start with Coca-Cola,

you end up with perverts and junkies!

Hi.

This is so embarrassing.

KIM: Get out of here!

I'm so embarrassed.

TERRI: Stop telling me what to do with my life!

REBECCA: Don't cry.

[DISTANT SHOUTING]

[PARROT SQUAWKING]

I just can't wait for you to fucking get out!

You fucking get out of my life!

Don't worry about them.

They're like that all the time.

Are they?

TERRI: You, you!

KIM: Please. Listen, stop it!

I'm quite capable of sorting it out.

I can have a good life-

You can have a good life?

It was going pretty well until you came along!

- Was it really? - Yes.

[PARROT SQUAWKING]

Thank you.

It's all right.

[DISTANT SHOUTING]

[GLASS BREAKS]

[PLATE SHATTERING]

Ha ha ha!

TERRI: Get out!

[GLASS SHATTERING]

She's a dangerous woman, your mother.

She's an unhappy woman.

TERRI: Get out!

She's peculiar.

She is.

KIM: Hey, hey, hey!

[GLASS BREAKS]

TERRI: Get out!

[GLASS BREAKS]

Thanks.

TERRI: Uh, get out!

Well, um, I'm going to go break this up.

[GLASS BREAKS]

Get out!

- Uh, Terri- - Uh, they're my plates,

you know.

Out!

All right, now look. I think-

[PLATE SHATTERING]

[KIM LAUGHING]

KIM: Now look what you've done.

Hey.

All right.

Let me give you a lift.

Come on.

No, no, no.

It will be my pleasure.

- I can walk. - No, come on.

Uh, I got you. I got you.

I'll just help you down. - I can walk.

- Yeah. - My head hurts.

Come down here, mate.

Oh, God.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[THUNDER CRASHING]

Here we go.

Hoo!

[BECKER SHIVERS]

I am not having a good time.

Jesus!

She is an incurable star-fucker.

Say what?

The woman we're both in love with.

I'm not in love with her.

Not even close.

I've seen the way she looks at you.

It's "I want you, I don't want you."

If you want her, just go for it.

I tell you what, man.

You can keep her, okay?

Ah, shit.

I'm going to need stitches.

Oh, man.

Oh, I need a fucking umbrella.

[BECKER LAUGHING]

Oh, shit.

Hey.

What do you think of, uh,

what do you think of Australian beer?

Hmm.

What do I think of Australian beer?

I think it's fucking good, man! [LAUGHING]

Everything already delivered

has been very useful.

We need more of the same.

I won't say what or when, as instructed.

You're out of your mind.

You understand now?

100%.

I'll never betray your confidence, Mr. Becker.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Look, man, I'm not armaments.

I'm in beverages, okay?

Sure, sure.

[PHONE RINGING]

Say who?

OPERATOR: Reverse charge from America.

Yeah, sure. I'll accept the charges.

- How's my baby? - Hi, mom.

- I need to know if- - Hold on just a second.

Am I gonna get my bag of ice or what?

Yes, sir.

Don't get angry, please.

MOM: Why don't you write me a postcard?

Oh, no, ma'am.

I haven't had a minute to myself

to send anybody a postcard.

- Don't you realize- - Uh-huh.

MOM: How lonely it is without my boy.

I don't know, mom.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll call you as soon as I know

when I'll be home for Christmas, okay?

MOM: Are you wearing warm underwear?

Love you, too.

Bye-bye.

More of the same?

When you cough up some cash, we can talk, okay?

It was always for free.

Well, not anymore.

We got new guys running the show now,

and they believe in the good, Christian habit of sharing.

Hmm. - How much,

How much are you talking about?

50,000, cash.

I'll need a few days.

Take your time.

Take your time.

What the fuck am I doing here?

Oh, God.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ Ow ♪

♪ Don't want to go where there's no Coca-Cola ♪

♪ You've got ♪

♪ Life by the throat when you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Choke back the tears when there's no Coca-Cola ♪

♪ You've got ♪

♪ Life by the throat when you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Under the hot sun ♪

♪ When the day is done ♪

♪ And you're dying of thirst ♪

♪ There's only one drink, it's universal ♪

♪ Don't want to go where there's no Coca-Cola ♪

♪ You've got ♪

♪ Life by the throat when you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Choke back the tears when there's no Coca-Cola ♪

♪ You've got ♪

♪ Life by the throat when you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Life by the throat when you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Life by the throat when you're drinking Coke ♪

♪ Keeps you up 'cause there's nothing like Coke ♪

Attention, attention.

This is your employer speaking.

Most of you have been with McDowell Industries

a good many years.

I put a strong proposition to Coca-Cola.

Now they are coming to me.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ Ow ♪

♪ You've got ♪

[SINGER VOCALIZING]

MAN: Lunch time!

The drink that answers the call of millions.

Refreshment time!

It's a pleasure to see you.

Likewise.

I have brought you a new fleet.

I can't afford it.

No problem.

You've got a 10-year loan

with payments starting three years from now.

But it says "Coca-Cola" on the trucks.

Yes, sir.

Congratulations.

You've got the franchise

for Anderson Valley.

It takes two to tango, kid.

I took it for granted you could dance.

Ooh, a beauty.

30-aught-30.

Winchester, I believe.

Under the scheme we propose,

you will triple your profit

in the first year alone.

I don't need so much.

Well, I wouldn't like to mention

the unpleasant possibilities,

such as, um,

someone could buy up all your glass.

I'll stay in business until my last bottle breaks,

then I'll make my own glass.

[CHUCKLING] Well, someone could,

and believe me, sir, someone would

buy up your entire sugar supply.

I'll grow my own sugar.

Why do you want to break my balls,

T. George?

Do you know the shortest speech in the world?

No, sir, tell me.

"If it is to be, it's up to me."

Hmm, that's nice.

You should copyright that.

T. George, your trucks are falling apart.

But the children love them.

And they also like to see

my picture on our cars, our trucks,

and our outlets.

And would you be so kind

as to remove your vehicles from my factory?

[ALL SHOUTING]

Go on!

Come on, mate.

[TRAIN HORN TOOTING]

[DOG BARKING]

- Going home, eh? - Be seeing ya!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC] [TERRI CRYING]

I'll ask you one last time.

Do you want the franchise,

Or do you want the fight?

I want to take you to our rotary dance.

I insisted on him coming here today

to show him that we are Rotarians first

and competitors second.

Fellowship comes above profit.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

Welcome to Anderson Valley.

Thank you.

People of Anderson Valley,

fellowship does come above profit, indeed.

Those are stirring words.

We at Coca-Cola have extended our hand in friendship,

but Mr. McDowell has chosen not to accept it.

Well, so be it.

Coca-Cola is proud to be part of life

in this free country.

Every day, Coca-Cola makes new friends in new places.

- Anyone for a drink? - Do you know that

we have already received applications

for bottling franchises on the moon.

But still, the Earth will not be truly free

until Coke is available everywhere.

MAN: Try a Coke.

My new, dear friends of Anderson Valley,

I would like to invite you

to join us in worldwide fellowship.

Thank you very much.

My boy, a very impressive dissertation.

I haven't heard speechifying like that

since the St. Louis rotary convention.

Hit it, Charlie.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ I've got a Coca-Cola for you ♪

♪ Drink it all up ♪

Coke for you, sir?

MAN: Not in front of T. George.

♪ Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong ♪

♪ Under the shade of a coolibah tree ♪

♪ And he sang as he sat ♪

♪ And waited till his Billy boiled ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me ♪

♪ Waltzing, Matilda ♪

♪ Matilda, my darlin' ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me ♪

♪ Waltzing, Matilda ♪

♪ Leading a water bag ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me ♪

♪ Along came a jumbuck and he drank from the billabong ♪

I've had a change of heart.

I'd, uh, I'd like to talk to you

about this proposition of yours.

Any time.

How about midnight at the factory, eh?

That would be lovely.

Good.

Then it's settled.

♪ Waltzing, Matilda, Matilda, my darlin' ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me ♪

♪ Waltzing, Matilda ♪

♪ Leading a water bag ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me ♪

♪ Down came the squatter mounted on his thoroughbred ♪

♪ Down came the troopers, one, two, three ♪

♪ Who's that jolly jumbuck you've got in your tuckerbag ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me ♪

♪ Waltzing, Matilda ♪

♪ Matilda, my darlin' ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me ♪

♪ Waltzing, Matilda ♪

♪ Leading a water bag ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me ♪

♪ Up jumped the swagman and he leapt into the billabong ♪

♪ You'll never catch me alive said he ♪

♪ And his ghost will be heard as you pass by the billabong ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me ♪

Jesus Christ!

[LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

Okay.

What kept you so long?

What the hell are you doing here?

I was tired.

"I was tired."

What the hell are you doing here?

Well, when you asked for volunteers to be santas,

I volunteered.

BECKER: Who allowed you to volunteer?

TERRI: Well, I thought it was a chance

to pay the old town a visit.

Okay, listen.

I did a semester of hotel-motel management.

And hotels and motels are supposed to have

two things going for them.

See, first, the customer must feel

that no one

has been in the room before them.

This makes people feel like they're walking

into a hygienic and virginal space.

And second-

Let's go to bed.

Wait a minute.

And second, and this is the most important,

no one, that is absolutely no one,

should be allowed in the room

in the customer's absence.

It is to be treated as one's sanctuary.

But it seems so logical

you and I should go to bed.

Look, honey, you know what I mean.

It is getting very late.

You're making this hard.

I hope so.

Jesus Christ, woman!

Do not start undressing here.

Put the boot back on.

Let's not be childish.

Put the boot back on.

If we got sex out of the way, we could relax.

[CAMEL GROANS]

[SOFT MUSIC]

[CAMEL GROANS]

[LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

Oh, Terri.

I have to tell you something about T. George.

God damn it!

T. George!

I was supposed to meet him an hour ago.

Oh, he'll be gone by now.

You can see him in the morning.

[LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

- I guess you're right. - Mm-hmm.

BECKER: I just didn't want him

to change his mind, is all.

He'd never do that.

BECKER: I'll be kind of sorry to see him go.

I mean, he's a stubborn old bastard,

but he runs one hell of a smooth operation.

Mm-hmm.

BECKER: He was married to a Coca-Cola poster girl.

Did you know that?

- Uh-huh. - She couldn't take it here

so she killed herself.

Ooh.

Heh heh.

Must have been tough on the old bastard.

Shut up.

Kiss me.

Where is he?

Who, sir?

Who do you think I mean, father Christmas?

Actually, I've got six staying here

at the moment, sir.

I'm talking about that kid from Coca-Cola.

Uh, he's in the regal suite

around the corner, sir.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

- Who is it? - It's T. George Mcdowell!

Good morning, Mr. Becker,

I mean, I mean, Mr. McDowell.

A few too many at the dance, eh?

Uh, yes, sir.

And, as you can see,

the place is a bit of a mess.

You'd probably be much more comfortable

waiting in the lobby, sir.

You didn't come last night.

Come, sir?

Our appointment!

I waited all night!

My apology.

Uh, see, well,

to tell you the truth, sir,

I have company.

I beg your pardon?

I have company.

Oh.

Heh heh. - Hmm.

Well, in that case, I'll,

my god, Terri!

There seems to have been an unfortunate collision

of circumstances here, sir.

Indeed there has.

I thought you came here

for an honorable fight, Mr. Becker.

I didn't expect you to go below the belt.

Oh, leave him alone, dad.

I came of my own accord,

to save you from him,

or him from you.

I don't know which anymore.

What?

I-I-I don't know, sir.

CLERK: Your champagne, sir.

There is good authority for the proposition

that the child knows no affection

for the parent.

Oh, cut the crap, dad.

[CORK POPPING]

Give it to him.

I've always loved you,

damn it,

in spite of everything.

MCDOWELL: You're just like your mother.

She never understood the importance of my work.

Your work!

You never cared about anyone but yourself.

Now, look, that's not true.

And I'll tell you something.

When I go, you'll have everything I own.

Oh, don't bother leaving it to me.

I'd only give it away.

Terri, Terri!

You're not gonna leave me now, are you?

The child owes no natural affection

to the parent.

[DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

DRIVER: Good news!

The kids love it!

One of the teachers had one.

They threw me out!

MAN: Good-bye, sir.

MAN 2: We've got them, boss.

You know something?

I haven't seen my daughter for seven years.

I'm sorry, Mr. McDowell.

- Thank you, Iris. - Seems you made

the front page today. - Mmm!

What are we celebrating?

That was a bit unorthodox.

Well, I guess if you want to break an omelet,

you've got to lay a few eggs.

Congratulations.

[DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

See you, Frank.

Did this McDowell guy die?

Got nothin' to do with me, mate,

but you owe me 60 cents, eh?

Two papers?

Don't think I'll be able to change a 20, though.

It's okay.

REPORTER: Mr. McDowell said recently-

MCDOWELL: It's not how many square miles

that makes the country great,

heh, it's how many square people.

REPORTER: Last night, in Anderson Valley,

the McDowell soft-drink factory

was burnt to the ground.

As the buildings blazed,

Mr. McDowell successfully blocked factory entrances

to the fire brigade, and told police to leave,

claiming the right to do what he wanted

with his own property.

Mr. McDowell has left the stage

with a resounding bang.

[JET FLYING OVERHEAD]

May I speak?

No.

This is for you.

We're very pleased.

I gave your name to our group leader,

and you can get us the stuff.

I tell you what you do.

[MAN GRUNTING]

You get my name back from your leader.

Okay?

I am not CIA.

I am not AT&T.

I am not TWA.

I am not IBM.

I'm not even Coca-Cola anymore.

Fruit and flowers!

Man!

The other half on delivery.

[JET FLYING OVERHEAD]

[LIGHT PIANO MUSIC]

Freedom!

Freedom!

Freedom!

Freedom!

- Hey, want a lift? - Thanks, man.

- Here you go, mate. - Thanks.

Hi, Coca-Cola Kid.

How you doing, DMZ?

Good.

Ah, where's your mama?

She's gone looking for a job.

We're broke.

What's in the funny bag?

A surprise.

It's not real.

It is, too. Every bit of it.

[BECKER CHUCKLING]

Mouse!

What's its name?

- Guess. - Mickey?

Rebecca?

Rebecca?

[LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

We've got a new tenant, mommy.

Can I offer you something?

Coffee?

Tea?

Yes, please.

[LIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]

♪ Home ♪

♪ I'm lookin' for a home ♪

♪ A place where I'll be safe ♪

♪ And warm ♪

♪ Home ♪

♪ I'm lookin' for a home ♪

♪ A home for my heart ♪

♪ Down the alleyways and up the street ♪

♪ Restless people wander to the beat ♪

♪ Of a discontented drum ♪

♪ Keep it down till morning comes ♪

♪ Living in a world that's hot and cold ♪

♪ Searching for a way back to the fold ♪

♪ Slippers by the fireside ♪

♪ Welcome on a winter's night ♪

♪ Home ♪

♪ I'm lookin' for a home ♪

♪ A place where I'll be safe ♪

♪ and warm ♪

♪ Home ♪

♪ I'm lookin' for a home ♪

♪ A home for my heart ♪

♪ Home ♪

♪ I'm lookin' for a home ♪

♪ A meadow for my soul ♪

♪ To roam ♪

♪ Home ♪

♪ I'm lookin' for a home ♪

♪ A home for my heart ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Everything is foreign to these eyes ♪

♪ Destination always out of reach ♪

♪ I'm homesick for the place I've been ♪

♪ Only in my wildest dreams ♪

♪ Home ♪

♪ I'm lookin' for a home ♪

♪ A place where I'll be safe ♪

♪ And warm ♪

♪ Home ♪

♪ I'm lookin' for a home ♪

♪ A home for my heart ♪

♪ Home ♪

♪ I'm lookin' for a home ♪

♪ A meadow for my soul ♪

♪ To roam ♪

♪ Home ♪

♪ I'm lookin' for a home ♪

♪ A home for my heart ♪

♪ I'm lookin' for a home ♪

♪ I'm lookin' for a home ♪

♪ A meadow for my soul ♪

♪ I'm lookin' for a home ♪

♪ Lookin', lookin' ♪

[LION ROARING]