Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ love exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ love is life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ love won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ welcome aboard, it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

♪ welcome aboard, it's love ♪

♪ ♪

Hello.

Oh, welcome aboard, Mr. Stanton.

You know me?

Of course, a captain has to be well-informed.

And it helps that the new magazines have arrived

and your picture happens to be on the cover of one of them.

I never miss an issue of new millionaire.

I was on the cover of big business.

-I never miss that either. -[ Laughs ]

What a success story.

You invented a computer that made your rich and famous.

Well, all it takes is a lot of hard work,

a little luck, and a stroke of genius.

Are you working on any new million-dollar ideas?

Well, uh, right now I'm working on a big merger in Mexico.

Well, what industries?

Uh, petrochemicals, uh, textiles?

Marriage.

Oh, well, congratulations.

We've kept it a secret to avoid publicity,

but I'm meeting my fianceé in mazatlaán,

and we're finally tying the knot.

I'll share a little inside info with you.

Be careful -- I've had four of those mergers,

and I'm still trying to buy out my partners.

[ Laughs ]

Let's see, Nancy brown, aloha 224.

Thank you.

Oh, you're welcome.

Listen, we have a lot of activities on this cruise.

There's a gym, a pool, a lot of deck games to play.

I know exactly what I want to do on this cruise

and with whom.

Thank you.

Of course, a lot of people just like to wing it.

-Hello. -Hi.

I'm Mrs. Roland Whitney.

Welcome aboard, Mrs. Whitney.

Let's see, Whitney.

There must be some mistake.

You and your husband are booked in a single cabin.

Oh, that's correct,

but I'm not traveling with my husband.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought that man you were speaking to was Mr. Whitney.

Oh, no. I just met him.

You see, my husband is --

oh, please. You don't have to explain.

Explain?

When you're raised on a cruise ship,

you grow up fast.

Uh, let's see.

You are on the aloha deck in cabin 238.

Enjoy your cruise.

Well, thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, have a good time without your husband.

Right through there. Have a nice cruise.

Hi, welcome aboard.

I get the picture of a rat.

I beg your pardon?

No, no, it's a -- it's a groundhog.

Gopher?

That's it!

That's amazing. That's my name.

Oh, I'm delighted to meet you.

I am Leila Kane.

Well, how did you --

you're Leila Kane?

Yes.

Oh, you're the psychic from the world informer.

I read your column all the time.

[ Laughs ]

I bet you read it at the checkout counter

at the supermarket.

You know, I have never met anybody yet

who admitted buying it.

I subscribe.

You are kidding?

Mnh-mnh.

I was very impressed with the way you predicted

mount St. helens to the exact minute.

Oh, thank you.

You bet.

Hey, goph.

Oh, Ms. Kane,

I would like you to meet our ship's photographer.

Hello, ace.

Did you see that?

What?

With her incredible psychic power,

she figured out your name.

Wow.

Wow.

And I thought she just looked at my name tag.

[ Laughs ]

Gary Samuels, Samuels -- ah.

Here you are, Mr. Samuels.

You are on the promenade deck in cabin 318.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, has Rhonda Whitney come aboard yet?

Rhonda Whitney -- yes, she has.

Uh, how long ago?

You just missed her.

Great timing.

"Timing"?

Uh...you got here before the ship sailed.

I love it. Life is just like a soap opera.

I wonder what's going on.

With whom? What are you talking about?

Uh, I'm sure I don't know, ace.

But even if I did, it would be none of my business.

[ Air horn blows ]

♪♪

Woman: Four and five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Ms. Kane, cablegram for you from the world informer.

Oh, well, thank you, but I already know what it says.

Of course you do.

I bet you save a lot of time never having to read your mail

that way.

No, I've got five cables like this,

and they always say the same things.

"You better come home immediately and do your column."

Yes, but you're on vacation.

Uh, actually, I didn't notify them.

Oh, well.

Doesn't matter.

Nothing matters now.

Sure. Life is a cabaret, right?

No.

Come on, gopher. Sit down.

Oh.

I'll let you in on something big -- something very big.

Nicaragua?

Aliens? -No.

What is it?

I had this dream

where I saw this red glow surrounding the earth,

and eventually the glow

enveloped the entire earth until it was gone.

I don't get it.

Gopher, tomorrow at 3:00 P.M.,

the world will come to an end.

The end of the world?

Yes.

So, you see, we might as well enjoy the little time

we have left.

That only gives me a day to make something out of my life.

Every time Joan and I planned to get married, something came up.

She's an international banker,

and it seems she always had a monetary crisis to deal with

or I was fighting takeover bids.

Still, if my fianceée was in mazatlaán,

I'd be flying there to meet her.

And I wouldn't need an airplane.

[ Chuckles ]

Well, there's no rush.

Joan is attending a symposium on friends of the peso.

She's gonna be tied up for a couple of days.

Ah.

So you decided to take a slow boat to mazatlaán, huh?

Eh, I thought a little time by myself would be nice.

It'll be my last chance.

Good. There you go.

Why do they always put umbrellas in those drinks?

Because a raincoat won't fit.

I asked a silly question.

I'll have the same, hold the umbrella please.

Certainly.

This may sound corny, but you look familiar to me.

Have we met before?

Nancy brown.

-Jim Stanton. -Nice to meet you.

-Oh, excuse me. -Excuse me.

Rhonda!

Gary? Gary Samuels?

I don't believe it.

You look terrific.

Well, so do you.

How long has it been -- 15 years?

At least.

It -- it -- it's so good to see you.

Oh, look out.

Sorry.

We better get off this field before they start

using those things as frisbees.

Yeah, um, uh... How's Roland?

Oh, you didn't hear?

Roland passed away 6 months ago.

Oh, Rhonda, I'm so sorry.

-He'd been sick for some time. -Aw.

Changing ends.

So, uh, tell me, uh, how you been doing?

-Are you making it okay? -Mm-hmm.

I'm doing -- doing all right... -Excuse me.

...besides for Roland.

He thought 6 months was enough time to mourn,

so he left instructions with our lawyer.

Two weeks ago,

I got the ticket for this cruise in the mail --

a ticket and a dozen roses.

No kidding.

He had arranged for everything in his will.

Roland always was a long-range planner --

a romantic long-range planner.

Two and two. Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, you know, I always liked Roland,

even though he stole my best girl.

Oh, your best girl?

Aw, Gary, you went off to Europe.

I didn't hear from you for a year.

I had to find myself.

Rhonda, you could've waited for me.

Well, "see you," wasn't exactly commitment.

Anyway, you knew I was dating Roland, too.

Yeah, but I didn't know about his long-range plans.

Oh.

Uh, we don't seem to be having too much luck here.

Uh, you want to go someplace else?

-Sure, where? -I don't know.

Uh, maybe the board room is less crowded.

Here you go. This is the Isaac eye-opener.

Drink it slowly.

-Isaac. -Yeah?

You know that psychic, Leila Kane?

Mm-hmm.

She predicted the world's going to end

tomorrow afternoon at 3:00.

That's ridiculous.

-Yeah, that's what I said. -Yeah.

Yeah, I mean,

the fact that she predicted the exact number of votes

that Ronald Reagan got in the last election

doesn't mean she's right all the time.

I was really upset at the time.

You got back from Europe and never tried to win me back.

Sure I did -- plenty of times.

When?

That night at Emilio's restaurant.

Emilio's? I don't remember.

Sure you do. You were there with Roland,

and I was there with a big group of people.

Remember, I kept trying to pull the tablecloth

from under the dishes?

Oh, yes.

What was that all about?

Well, I was just trying to show you

how much fun you were missing.

I was touched when you sent the wine over to Roland and me.

Well, that was to show that I also had style and flair.

That was the night Roland proposed.

Oh, sure -- my wine put him over the edge.

Oh, don't blame yourself.

I'm sure Roland would've proposed without the wine.

So...how come you never got married?

Well, I guess I never got around to it, uh...

Well, you make marriage sound like cleaning out your garage.

Well, I guess I'm --

I guess i'm just a one-woman man, Rhonda.

Say, uh, hows about dinner tonight?

-Well, I don't think -- -come on.

Let's pretend it's Emilio's.

Maybe I'll get it right this time.

Okay, but no more pulling tablecloths off the table.

I've gotten better at it.

Now, I take the dishes off first.

[ Both chuckle ]

♪♪

All right, here we go.

Big smiles.

That's it. Great.

Okay, ladies, look for this in the ship's

paper tomorrow. -Okay, thanks.

Ace, ace, I am worried about gopher.

-Why? -Leila Kane, the psychic,

predicted the end of the world tomorrow at 3:00,

and I think he believes her.

Gopher believes anything.

Isaac, these psychic things are all fake.

Ace, she also predicted every winner

at last year's academy awards.

You read that stuff?

Well, only in the checkout lines.

-Mm-hmm. -Hello, Isaac, ace.

-Hi. -Hi.

Good news, gentlemen.

You are going to get into some money.

Bye.

See what I mean?

We're gonna get into some money?

Come on, we're in the middle of the ocean.

Where is this money gonna come from?

Here we go, fellows, your paychecks.

Oh, there's a company bonus this time.

Every single Oscar?

And the country music awards.

Vicki, why do you suddenly need a car?

Because Marsha belman's father's buying her a car.

Marsha belman lives on land.

[ Scoffs ] So?

So Marsha belman needs a car to get around.

You have a ship to commute in.

Next time I go to the market, I'll take the ship.

Problems?

Adam, I just don't understand teenagers.

One day, they're sweet.

The next day, they learn how to drive.

Then it's downhill from there.

I may be able to put your problem into perspective.

Gopher says there's a psychic onboard

who predicted the end of the world tomorrow at 3:00.

Ms. Kane said that? [ Chuckles ]

Well, she's gonna feel pretty silly tomorrow night, isn't she?

Yeah, we'll all have a good laugh.

She was dead wrong about last year's world series.

Well, there you go.

Well, you'd expect her to miss one

after nailing it 10 years in a row.

Well, Adam, uh, don't tell Vicki about this.

You know how impressionable young people are.

Mnh-mnh-mnh.

10 years in a row?

♪♪

Well, hello again.

It looks like we've been assigned to the same table.

Oh, I thought I was eating alone.

I have some things to think about.

Oh, well, I don't want to intrude.

I'll find another table.

No, please.

I've been sitting here for 20 minutes

and I haven't thought of a thing.

Maybe what I need is someone to talk to.

Well, it would be better than mumbling to yourself.

Would you like some wine?

Oh, that would be nice, thank you,

but I'm allergic to red wine.

I know that.

How did I know that?

What else do you know about me?

Well, let's see --

you have brown hair and, uh, blue eyes.

And, um -- and that's about it.

Well, what a relief.

I was afraid you knew about my tattoo.

[ All laughing ]

Oh, looks like our business tycoon

is trying to make the cover of real romance.

Judy: He's stolen one heart already.

Do you know she asked to be seated at his table?

Do you know he's engaged to be married?

Merrill, you're a captain, not a marriage counselor.

Besides, by tomorrow at 3:00, it may all be academic.

[ Knocking ]

Can I talk to you a minute?

If it's about that silly prediction, I'm not interested.

Okay, I don't believe that stuff either, all right.

Okay.

Just makes you think, that's all.

Just makes you think about the stuff

you've done in your life.

Makes you think about the stuff you've left undone.

That's all.

I think I'm gonna send my mother a dozen roses.

So you want to borrow $40 from me, right?

Here.

That's it?

I ask you for money, and you give it to me?

Hey, gopher, I don't have time to lecture you.

I ask you for money, and you give it to me?

I know that I have been tough on you, gopher, at times,

but that's because I don't want to see you messing up,

just like I don't want to see my kid brother messing up.

You don't have a kid brother.

But I always wanted one.

See, when I was a little boy,

I used to pretend like I had a little brother

and that he would get into trouble and come to me.

And I'd help bail him out, kind of like you're always doing.

That's very touching.

Well, thanks for sharing that with me.

Wait.

I want you to get a dozen roses for my mom, too.

And it's not because I believe in the prediction.

It's because I love her.

Oh, okay.

I understand.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Thank you.

Cheers.

Say you're in a situation that will change your life.

It seems right, but there -- there's

something wrong, something missing.

What would you do?

Well, based on the wealth of information

you've just given me,

I'd say I'd try and find out what was missing.

You've tried. You haven't been able to.

Is this one of those riddles where the murder victims

turn out to be goldfish?

I wish it were that simple.

Well, you'll know what to do when the time comes.

I'm sure of that.

♪♪

-32 red. Winner! -Ah!

How did I know 32 was your lucky number?

Well, it's probably a lot of people's lucky number.

Change, please.

You know, it's funny how things work out.

I thought it would be nice to spend some time alone,

and the reverse seems to be true.

Well, we can always lock the door

from your cabin if you like.

This will do very nicely, thank you.

You know, it's such a lovely evening.

Why don't we take a stroll on the deck?

-Uh, that could be dangerous. -Why?

This is one of those nights they promise you

in the travel folders -- tropical moon, balmy breezes,

a hint of Jasmine in the air. -Jasmine?

Well, I thought that was only on the Mississippi cruises?

Let's go find out.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, it's wonderful running into you again.

It must be kismet or Karma or coincidence.

One of those "k" words.

I don't know what I would've done if I hadn't.

The idea of cruising for guys really didn't appeal to me.

You know, I've missed you all these years.

You know, Roland was always jealous of you.

Uh, really, uh...

Well, I guess that trick with the, uh, tablecloth

wasn't a total waste of time.

He knew how much I liked you,

and he was glad when you took off.

A major mistake in my life.

What's wrong?

It's just that Roland's gone,

and here I am alone in the moonlight with you.

I feel guilty.

Well, I think Roland would've understood.

I mean, isn't that why he bought you the ticket --

so you could go on with your life?

I know.

And I loved today.

I feel like I'm 20 again.

But?

But I feel like I'm betraying Roland by being happy.

I know it sounds crazy.

No, it sounds like a woman who was

very much in love with her husband.

Rhonda, we've got a whole lot of time.

And I am not going back to Europe again.

Thanks, Gary.

Uh, can I walk you back to your cabin?

Better not.

I'm afraid of what might happen

if I find myself alone with you in my cabin.

Uh, well, how about, uh, breakfast tomorrow?

You see, I'm afraid of what might happen

if I have to eat alone.

I'd like that.

♪♪

-Doc, doc. -Hmm?

Did you hear about this lady --

yeah, tomorrow at 3:00. It's improbable.

You mean impossible?

No, improbable. I'm a man of science.

I have to accept that anything is possible.

Well, I'll see you later.

I have to send these cables.

What are they for?

I've written to all my ex-wives, telling them all the things

i never had a chance to say when we were married.

You do believe we're gonna buy the farm tomorrow.

Well, let's just say I'm not prescribing

any time-release cold pills.

Oh, good evening, Mrs. Whitney.

Oh, good evening.

Mr. Samuels found you all right?

Gary's been asking for me?

When was this?

During boarding, he came on right after you.

I thought our meeting was supposed to have been a coincidence.

Uh, as far as I'm concerned, that's all it was.

Don't worry, your secret's safe with me.

These kind of things happen all the time on cruise ships.

Not with me, it doesn't.

Excuse me.

Listen, don't worry. I won't tell anybody.

I've got a terrible memory.

Me and my big mouth.

Nancy: There it is, as advertised,

one tropical, gorgeous moon.

You know what I always thought the moon sort of resembled?

Together: Jackie gleason.

Incredible.

I thought I was the only one who thought that.

Maybe we were in another life together.

Well, we certainly are on the same wavelength.

That's for sure.

In Mexico, they call it simpatico.

So I'm feeling pretty simpatico right now.

♪♪

Why did you stop?

I'm -- I -- I didn't want this to happen.

Why not?

Because I -- I better just go.

Jim?

I, uh, usually don't interfere in situations like this,

but, uh, maybe I can save you a little heartbreak, Ms. Brown.

What do you mean?

Jim is engaged.

When we reach mazatlaán, he's getting married.

Well, that's impossible. He can't.

Why not?

Because Jim Stanton is already married, to me.

♪♪

[ Knocking ]

Rhonda?

How dare you?

How dare you take advantage of me that way --

pretending that we met accidentally

when all along you knew I was on the ship?

Rhonda.

What do you do,

check obituaries so you can date grieving widows?

Rhonda, please.

I can explain.

I don't want to hear it.

I don't ever want to see you again.

[ Door slams ]

Ace?

I've been looking for you all over the ship.

I thought the mermaids had a late show tonight?

We just finished.

Gopher told me about what's gonna happen tomorrow.

Mm.

You believe it?

I'm not sure.

Do you?

I didn't at first -- thought Ms. Kane was a phony.

Then she predicted I was gonna get a raise,

and I did, and...

I wish we had more warning.

I know what you mean.

There's so many things I'd like to do.

When I heard the news,

you were the first person I thought of.

Huh.

I guess I never realized how much I cared for you.

This is crazy, but I feel the same way about you.

What do we do now?

We make up for lost time.

♪♪

First, Jim Stanton tells us he's gonna get married.

Then Nancy brown tells me he's already married.

But if Jim Stanton is married to Nancy,

why are they behaving like they've just met?

People are complex, merrill.

You never know what you'll find when you turn over a rock.

Hmm, I'll stick with navigation.

It's simple, uncomplicated.

Port is port. Starboard is starboard.

And the big Dipper is always in the same place --

up there somewhere.

A wise decision.

[ Knocking ]

Come in.

Captain stubing, I hope it's okay for me to be here.

I feel like I owe you an explanation.

Well, that's not necessary, Ms. Brown.

No, I want to tell you.

You see, Jim,

which is what he calls himself now --

you mean his name isn't Jim?

No, it's ed -- ed brown.

We were married right after he got his mba.

We spent a couple of wonderful years together.

What happened?

One night his car was found wrecked by the side of the road.

The police think that ed --

Jim wandered off in a state of amnesia.

I never stopped looking for him.

For 5 years, I didn't know whether he was alive or dead,

and then about a year ago I saw an article about him

in the paper.

The name was different,

but as soon as I saw the picture,

I realized it was him.

So you're just waiting for the right moment

to tell him that he's married to you?

Oh, I was hoping he'd fall in love with me all over again.

See, I --

i want us to be together because we love each other,

not because of some legal piece of paper.

Look, I know this is none of my business,

but if I were you, I'd go to him,

tell him the truth.

Thank you.

Before 3:00.

Now let me make sure I've got this all down correctly,

"to the editors of world informer, bug off.

Sincerely, Leila Kane."

That's it.

And when we get to Mazatlan,

I am going to shop like there is no tomorrow

because there isn't.

You sure about this prediction?

I mean, after all, you do make mistakes, don't you?

Well, I -- I did predict

that the Olympics are going to lose money.

Oh, that's good.

No offense, just nice to know you're not all that reliable.

It's your mother.

[ Telephone rings ]

Hello?

Hello, mom.

Bye-bye.

Oh, good. I want to talk to you.

I know.

You're going to tell me that I'm irresponsible,

that I do not know how to manage money,

and that I'm a slave to the latest trends.

Wrong.

You don't think that?

I do think that.

I wasn't going to say it.

Oh.

Vicki, your happiness is the most important thing

in the world to me, especially at this time.

Especially at 8:00?

Sweetheart, you can have a car.

Aah! Thank you!

Thank you. I love you. You're the best.

Oh, I love you too, Vicki.

And I want us to be close.

Oh, me too.

And I want us to say what's in our hearts,

even if it sounds corny.

And if there's anything you've been waiting to say to me,

please say it.

Well, there is something.

Yes, sweetheart?

Can I have a convertible?

Susie.

Mmm!

Hey, we can't go on this way.

We need food.

We can't waste what little time we have left on eating.

Oh, can't we just waste a few minutes

on a liverwurst sandwich?

You like liverwurst?

See, I didn't know that.

There's so little we know about each other.

What's your favorite color?

Mmm. Mmm.

Red.

You're a Leo, right?

Gemini?

Ares? I know you're an Ares.

If you'll give me a minute,

I'll tell you why I did what I did.

Okay.

Maybe you'll listen to your husband.

Roland's attorney sent me this letter.

It's part of his will.

"Dear Gary, on the advice of my doctor,

I have spent the past month putting my affairs in order.

Soon Rhonda will be alone,

and though I have provided for her financially,

I would like to do more.

I know"...

"I know how very fond of Rhonda you were,

and I have learned that you are still unmarried.

I am enclosing a ticket for a cruise Rhonda will be taking.

If you still care for her, use it.

If not, cash it in

and use the money to have your head examined.

[ Chuckles ]

Sincerely, Roland."

Gary, I'm sorry.

Rhonda, I am here because I want to be with you.

But why did you let me think it was a coincidence?

What would you have me say --

"I got a letter from your husband.

He told me to take a shot at his wife"?

It's just like Roland.

He was always so thoughtful, so understanding.

He didn't have a selfish bone in his body.

Well, he brought us together again.

At the very least, the man deserves a statue.

Buenos diías, ladies and gentlemen,

and welcome to the glorious port of Mazatlan,

famous for its sun-drenched beaches and romantic hideaways.

Enjoy your day, and remember we sail at 9:00 tonight.

If you're not back by then, you're a permanent resident.

[ Knock on door ]

Come in.

I'm glad you called.

I -- I wanted to see you before I left the ship.

Jim, there's something I have to tell you.

Before you do, there's something

I haven't told you that might clear everything up.

The truth is, I'm getting married this afternoon.

Yes, I know.

You know?

[ Scoffs ] Then you must really think I'm a jerk,

leading you on last night.

No, I don't, Jim.

I'm in love with you.

Oh, please don't do this to me.

I -- I've been up all night trying to sort this out.

I've decided that I have to go through with my plans.

But there's something about us that you don't understand.

There's plenty I don't understand,

but I've known Joan for two years

and I've made a commitment to her.

You can't ask me to walk out on that, can you?

No, I can't.

I'm sorry.

I wish I'd met you first.

Taking a break, huh?

Yeah.

Me too.

Some coincidence, us taking a break at the same time, huh?

[ Chuckles ] Yeah, sure is.

Yeah, sure is.

Hi, guys.

Hello, Judy.

Hi, Judy.

Just thought I'd look for a quiet place

to work on the pairings for the shuffleboard tournament today.

Good idea.

Hey.

Hi.

Hey, susie.

Hi.

Hi, Patti.

Well, we just thought we'd come up and watch the sun set.

It's not for another 3 1/2 hours.

Well, we want to see it all.

Dad, I think we should go for the luxury package.

I mean, it's only $750 more,

and it will increase the resale value on the car.

Whatever you say, dear.

Oh, you're here too.

Hey, merrill.

This is it.

I love you all.

Vicki, merrill.

Doc, it's only 2:59.

Your watch is fast.

Oh, I better have it fixed, maybe.

Are we throwing a surprise party for somebody?

Do you realize this is the first time

we've all been together in months?

We shouldn't allow ourselves to drift apart.

We mean too much to each other.

What's the big deal about being together?

I mean, we work on the same ship.

We'll probably be here for another 10 years.

From your lips to god's ears.

Ace, the clock.

10 more seconds.

All: 9...8...7...6...5... 4...3...2...1.

[ Bell dinging ]

Is that clock all right?

Well, I had it set this morning with the atomic clock.

Well, my break is over.

I got accounts to balance.

I'm gonna do some inventory.

Looks like I have one more spot in the expert division.

Anybody interested?

Well, I might be.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

Well, I have work to do. Carry on.

Excuse me, dad, um, what just happened here?

Happened?

Nothing.

Thank heaven.

Look, susie --

uh, I'm late for rehearsal.

Uh, about last night.

We just got to know one another a little better, that's all.

Of course, but it's no reason to throw away the last 24 hours.

What do you mean?

Well, I think it's possible

we may have stumbled upon some profound feelings

for each other.

Oh, I -- I don't think so.

It was just the fear of death that drove me into your arms.

You've been sweet.

We are now leaving Mazatlan.

We hope you enjoyed your stay.

Our next stop will be the port of Los Angeles.

Hello.

Oh, Ms. Kane.

I'll bet you're glad that this is one time

when you were wrong, hmm?

Oh, yes, yes, gopher,

but I was so sure.

Hmm.

Well, at least you still have your shopping to comfort you.

Oh, yes, but I have to return them all.

You see, I never expected to have to pay for them.

I went crazy with my credit card.

Oh, well. It was fun while it lasted.

Mm-hmm. Oh, by the way,

you got another cablegram from the world informer.

Mm.

You know, I think I better read this one.

Oh, my.

What's the matter?

The paper has gone bankrupt.

The world informer won't be published anymore.

Will I get a refund for my subscription?

Wait a minute?

That's it, my prediction.

What do you mean?

I mean they're going bankrupt today.

My dream wasn't about the end of the world.

It was about the end of the world informer.

So you were right.

Yes.

But now I'm out of a job.

Hey, if you want to look on the dark side, I'm out 40 bucks.

[ Both chuckle ]

May I join you?

Yes, of course.

Thank you.

You didn't tell him, did you?

No.

Why not?

You have the proof.

You know he has some feelings for you.

He started a new life with a new woman,

and I don't belong there anymore.

This was Roland's favorite song.

I didn't know he was such a music lover.

This is his sixth favorite song tonight.

Well, they remind me of Roland.

Rhonda, everything we've seen or done all day

has reminded you of Roland.

That's not true.

The pinñata reminded you of him.

He like candy.

The taxi driver reminded you of Roland.

He liked to talk with his hands.

You even bought him three shirts in Mazatlan.

Those were for you.

They were his size.

Force of habit.

[ Sighs ] Look.

I think it's time we stopped kidding ourselves.

You are still in love with Roland.

Well, I can't compete with a memory.

That Roland is some kind of a guy.

Even when he's gone, he's taking you away from me.

[ Drum roll ]

Ladies and gentlemen,

the international lounge is proud to present the mermaids.

♪♪

♪ dance ♪

♪ I've gotta shake my shoulders ♪

♪ dance ♪

♪ I've gotta move my buns ♪

♪ dance ♪

♪ I've gotta keep on groovin' ♪

♪ as long as my motor runs ♪

♪ I can jump ♪

♪ stomp my feet♪

♪ unh, unh, unh ♪

♪ blame it on the rhythm and the heat of the beat ♪

♪ 'cause I can't lose it ♪

♪ how 'bout you ♪

♪ when I dance ♪

One lousy cable, can you believe that?

After all I've done for those women,

only one bothered to answer.

Well, I guess I should be grateful that someone cares.

What does it say?

"Your alimony check is late."

♪♪

♪ hot ♪

♪ ooh ♪

♪ so hot ♪

♪ ooh ♪

♪ so sopping wet, healthy sweat ♪

♪ unh, unh, unh ♪

♪ moving now, get your best bet ♪

♪ move our bodies ♪

♪ use our legs and dance ♪

♪ dance ♪

♪ dance ♪

♪ Dance ♪

♪ dance ♪

♪ dance ♪

[ Applause ]

Seven out.

Ah, well, maybe you'll be lucky in love.

I don't think so.

I'm in love with a woman

who can't stop thinking about her husband.

[ Chuckles ] Maybe you should just forget about her.

I would if I wasn't sure she loved me.

She loves you, but she's hung up on her husband.

Yeah.

She thinks that the most romantic thing he ever did

was to set me up with her.

The guy set you up with his own wife?

Yeah, he even paid for this cruise.

Is he onboard too?

Hardly.

He's gone. Why doesn't she realize that?

Well, maybe she's hoping he'll come back.

Not much chance of that.

You never know.

I know.

How can you be so sure of that?

He's dead.

[ Cheers ]

Oh, look. Somebody rolled a seven.

Better go get my camera.

I'm back.

Jim.

Oh, you remembered.

Remembered what?

Strolls through the redwoods,

the summers on Cape Cod, my heart-shaped birthmark.

I don't know what you're talking about.

But why did you come back?

Because I'm in love with you.

Isn't that enough?

Yes, of course it is.

Joan and I had a long talk,

and we decided to call the whole thing off.

I realized what was missing in our relationship.

I wasn't in love with her.

Well, welcome back.

What heart-shaped birthmark?

You'll see.

Oh. Uh, Gary.

Gary Samuels, I don't believe it.

Rhonda, what are you up to?

[ Chuckles ]

I guess I'm trying to start over, Gary.

Uh, Rhonda, what's the use?

It'll just end the same way.

I thought a lot about Roland tonight,

about the wonderful life we had together.

Suddenly, I realized it was all in the past.

There wouldn't be anything more.

My life with Roland is over.

I cried when I realized that.

Rhonda, I didn't want you to give up your memories of Roland.

I just wanted you to make new ones with me.

I still do.

I want that, too.

Here you go.

You know, gopher, uh,

that prediction made us reveal things about ourselves

that we wouldn't normally want people to know about.

Well, then why don't we just make it our little secret.

Uh, specifically I'm referring to my little brother.

Forgot.

The important thing is it just brought us closer together.

Great. Okay, good.

Uh, about that money that I loaned you for the flowers...

I'm gonna pay that back with my next paycheck.

All right.

And in the spirit of our new friendship,

I will charge you interest compounded weekly

instead of daily.

Merrill: Now, come see us again.

Man: Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Captain, doc.

I want you to be among the first to know

I've asked Nancy to marry me.

Congratulations.

Getting married?

Didn't you tell him?

There's plenty of time.

Well, congratulations.

We better get going, Nancy.

Thank you.

Good-bye.

Bye-bye.

This has not been one of my better cruises.

I think I ruined a perfectly romantic vacation

for two of our passengers.

Oh, don't feel too bad.

Some romances are doomed before they begin.

There she is. Hide me.

Ace, Vicki, it was a lovely cruise.

Thank you for everything.

Oh, you bet.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Honey, are you ready to go.

[ Both chuckle ]

Good-bye.

Bye-bye.

I didn't ruin it.

In fact, I probably even helped.

Sure would like to know what I helped with.

Believe me, Vicki, you don't want to know.

Wait a minute. You know?

Oh, now, ace, come on.

Ace, you can't leave me in the dark like this.

Ace, I'm gonna tell everybody that susie dumped you.

So, what're you gonna do now, Ms. Kane?

Well, either I'm going to work for a presidential candidate

or a TV network or a buzzer service.

Oh, so you've had offers.

No, but I'm going to get them next Tuesday.

I see a man in a dark suit.

And so do I -- the captain.

Oh.

Thank you so much.

Mm-hmm.

Bye-bye.

Dad, dad, come on, let's go.

I can't believe it.

I'm going to be the proud owner of a convertible.

A convertible?

Yes.

Uh, Vicki, I wasn't definite about a convertible.

That's all right, dad. I mean, you've been so generous

in spending all that money on me anyway --

now, about all that money.

When we get to the car lot, I want to do all the taking.

And when the salesman quotes a price,

I want to act shocked and pretend to walk away.

Well, that's fine, dad, as long as you don't walk too far.