Original subtitles

[Theme music]

Dionne Warwick: (Singing) Love, love exciting and new.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you.

And love, love is like sweetest reward.

Let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat soon will be making another run.

The love boat promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance.

And love, love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

The love boat soon will be making another run.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

Well, no damage done, as far as I can tell.

Oh, right, no damage if you don't count mt.

Everest back there or the fact that my keys are gone.

They probably dropped out of your pocket

when you cracked your head.

Or somebody took them at edfu.

Oh, don't worry, goph, they're bound to show up somewhere.

[Music playing]

Egyption Cruise - Part 2

Mr. Sawyer, my staff informs me that miss Grant and Mr.

Richmond didn't report at edfu.

Do you know anything about this?

Well, they taken some time off to work out some problems.

They'll find alternate transportation

and meet us in aswan.

Alternate transportation?

I wish you'd look at what this vegetation is

doing to my dress. - No problem.

I'll take care of it.

How many times do I have to tell you I'm sorry?

I'll let you know when I've heard it enough.

[Music playing]

You know, Vicki, i'm glad I invited Helen.

She's having a good time and So am I.

She brings back a merrill stubing I almost thought never

existed.

Well, I'm kind of partial to the one I grew up with.

Dad, I know you're trying to make up for lost time.

Mm-hm.

But i-- I just hope you're not both trying

to make up for something else.

What are you talking about, Vicki?

You both miss frank branigan very much.

It's like when you're together, telling old stories

and reliving old times, he's almost here with you.

Well, what's wrong with that?

He does seem to be with us.

And Helen feels it too, and it makes her feel good.

Believe me, Vicki, if there was anything

I could do to bring frank back, I'd do it in a minute.

But you can't, dad, and neither can she.

He's gone.

He was my best friend ever since the seventh grade.

We were on the same football team in high school together,

college.

I tried not to think about it.

I tried to keep too busy to let it sink in so I

wouldn't have to say goodbye.

Maybe Mrs. branigan is clinging

to you for just that reason, so she won't have to say goodbye.

You still hungry?

I'm starved.

What is that?

Well, it's Egyptian bread, some vegetables, assorted

spices, and, uh, mystery meat.

Don't you think you could saute

me a nice little steak with some mushrooms or something?

How much money you got left?

You know I don't carry cash.

Well, I'm about out too, so we'll have

to make every dollar count.

I paid good money for this.

You eat it or I will.

No one talks to me like that.

I mean, look at my dress.

I can do something about that, ma'am.

Hold on.

Sir, may I have something nice and wonderful for the lady.

I got to be uh, uh, cheap.

Ah, beautiful.

Here, look at this.

Hm?

What do you think?

I think I wouldn't be caught dead in it.

It has no shape, no form, no label.

It's hideous.

Miss Grant, this man is very proud of his work

and rightfully so.

This isn't Hollywood.

This is Egypt.

Manners are important here, and the sooner

you get that through your head the easier

this trip is gonna be.

Now, you can remain in your dusty, dirty dress

or you can slip into this nice fresh, clean galibier.

The choice is yours.

It's beautiful.

I'll take it.

It's the strangest thing.

Half my supply of bandages has disappeared.

[Pounding]

Did you hear something?

A pounding from inside the mummy's cabin?

No, I don't hear anything.

What's going on?

Whatever it is, it's going on in there.

Well, it's too bad I don't have my passkey,

or I could go right in there.

Well, looks like we're in luck.

Gopher: Lucky us.

[Faint moaning]

[Screaming]

It's adu.

And my missing bandages.

Go get the light.

[Screaming]

Carrie?

Oh, hi, doc.

I heard noises.

And when I opened the door, someone rushed past me

and knocked me down.

And that's when I found your ankh.

What were you doing hiding in the corner?

I'm an undercover agent for the Egyptian

department of antiquities.

You're what?

And I believe that that sarcophagus and this ankh

are connected to an undiscovered treasure somewhere in the area.

And I'd like to take custody of this until we know for sure.

Shouldn't you have a warrant or something for this?

Ah, look, I'd rather not make this that public.

If you don't mention this incident to anyone,

then I won't have to bring in the department, yet.

[Music playing]

[Sighs]

I hope you're satisfied.

Very.

You look good.

Well, I'm still hungry.

Well, I hate to suggest it, but, uh, I did save that lunch.

That Egyptian thing?

At least it's filling.

[Music playing]

You know, you, uh, you really are

very beautiful in that robe.

Well, it's not exactly what I'm accustomed to,

but, well, it's comfortable enough.

Actually, the stitching is quite marvelous.

All by hand.

How can that man afford to sell

such workmanship for so little?

I mean, how do these people live out in a--

a desert like that?

Different way of life, friendlier, more relaxed,

life on the human scale you might say.

Well, it's change.

I'll give you that.

It's so quiet.

I grew up in country like this,

farmland along the Ohio river.

People there, they come to a kind of balance.

They knew what was important.

I'm from New York.

I don't think I ever thought anything was important.

Don't you dare quote me on that.

I-- I won't, I promise.

You say that almost like you mean it.

Yeah, I do.

[Music playing]

How does that old saying go?

A penny for your thoughts?

Oh, I was thinking about this river, how it never changes.

And all this history.

Thousands of years, it makes time seem insignificant.

Helen, I was talking to Vicki earlier.

Oh, she's wonderful, merrill.

What a sweet, beautiful girl.

You must be very proud of her.

Oh, I am.

Anyway, she said something today,

and it got me to thinking about us.

Helen, all the time we've spent together has been--

like the old days, I know.

You can't imagine how much that means to me

now, picking up where we left off.

You know, just like frank, you are so much a part of me.

It's like nothing's changed, like nothing ever will.

Announcer (on pa): We're cruising into aswan,

Egypt's winter vacation land.

Be sure to see philae temple, and a short one-hour flight

away, the towering monuments at abu simbel.

Hey, doc.

I'm sorry to have put you on the spot last night with Carrie,

but you know that archaeologist that got on in Luxor?

He thinks that she might be a thief who's after your ankh.

No, she's just after my heart, Isaac.

You heard her.

Carrie barton is with Egyptian antiquities.

She says she's with what?

Egyptian antiquities.

This is the guy, doc.

Hi.

Jason Matthews, upper Egypt reconstruction.

Adam bricker.

Nice to meet you.

I work with every antiquities agent in this area,

and I've never laid eyes on her before.

Uh, tell you what, here's the number of the department.

Give them a call.

Check her out.

Well, sure.

And let me know.

Ok.

Antiquities department.

Guys, have you got a Carrie barton working for you?

I know no one by that name.

I have a list of employees right here in front of me.

But no, no Carrie barton.

Don't you think you're overdoing the shopping a bit?

Oh, you haven't promised to bring back as many souvenirs

as I have.

I think Charlotte would love one of these.

Besides, everything's so expensive.

Fine.

That is just no reason to buy everything in sight.

Greg, what is the matter with you?

I just can't--

I just can't do it.

I just can't go racing around the globe buying every basket

and trinket, thumbing through a guidebook trying

to figure out which ancient king built

which ancient pile of rocks.

I know this is important to you, but I have

work that needs my attention.

I have people who are depending on me.

I depend on you, too, Greg.

Only you are never there anymore.

You haven't been there for a long time.

What's happened to us?

22 years of marriage.

I'm going back to the ship.

I'll take these and this.

Were you warm enough last night?

You forget, I had the camels to cuddle up to.

Well, you gave me all the blankets.

Well, your producer would crucify me if I brought

his star home with laryngitis.

[Laughs]

Sawyer really needs you for his movie, you know?

I know.

Look, Mr. Richmond, I'd like to thank you for all your help.

That doesn't really come easy for me, but well, I mean, i'm--

I'm not accustomed to, uh--

you're welcome.

Hey, lady, need a boat?

Hi.

No thanks.

I-- I've already got one.

Oh, not one that'll take you where I want to take you.

And where's that?

Secret place, known only to me and a few guide books.

What do you say?

Ok.

[Music playing]

Oh, you're not working today.

Well, all work and no play makes nabil a pain in the neck,

as our good captain put it.

Besides, a place like this is good for the soul.

And we do have a rain check.

Perhaps a tour of the island?

You don't take no for an answer, do you?

But I'm remarkably open to yes.

[Laughs]

All right.

Philae temple was built late in the new kingdom

as a shrine to the goddess Isis, a faithful wife

who kept the spirit of a dead husband alive, even--

I'm terribly sorry.

I didn't mean--

I'm sure you didn't Mr. Al-masry, but you

don't know what it's like.

You just don't know.

I know how I felt when my wife died, alone, empty.

That was years ago but--

I'm not alone, Mr. Al-masry, and my life is far from empty.

It's full, full, full of friends,

full of work, classes, full of friends.

I know the symptoms.

I found myself working 18 hours a day, expanding the business,

building the Alexander, hanging on to old friends.

Perhaps I could help.

No.

I don't need your help, Mr. Al-masry.

I don't need anyone's.

Philae temple.

I wish I could have built it for you.

Somebody beat me to it.

Oh, Chris.

I don't know what to say.

What's left of the great temple hathor.

It flourished around the time of Christ.

How do you know so much?

I had a great teacher.

If only you paid this much attention in class.

I'm paying attention now, or haven't you noticed?

Chris, no.

This is wrong.

I have a son almost your age.

I know, I know.

You have a son four years younger than I am.

Well, I'm not 15 anymore, and you're not my teacher.

You are a beautiful woman.

Your husband may not see it any more but I do.

Please, leave Greg out of this.

I can't and neither can you.

That doesn't matter.

What matters is I love you.

You what?

You're not serious.

Yes, I am.

I love you, Laurel.

I don't think he does.

I-- I think we should--

i-- I have to get back to the ship.

Any word from miss Grant yet?

Not a phone call, not a telex.

Thought she was going to meet us in aswan.

That's funny, I find myself actually concerned about her.

[Chuckles]

Hello!

Well, will you look at that.

Michael!

Hello, ace!

Hello!

[Laughs]

Oh, Michael.

Oh, I thought we'd never see you again.

Oh, but Wayne took very good care of me.

I almost don't want it to end.

Oh, and look.

Look at this incredible robe.

Well, he found it in this charming

little Egyptian village.

Oh, and the people, oh, they were marvelous.

They didn't even know who I was.

Oh, but let me freshen up, and I'll tell you everything.

Oh, and Michael, have that contract ready.

And-- and if you still want me, well, I would

love to be your Cleopatra.

Ok.

What did you do with the real Deborah Grant?

Oh, that was the real Deborah Grant.

Want me go back and get the other one?

No, no, no, no, no, no no.

[Music playing]

Abu simbel, one of the true wonders of the ancient world

was rescued from the rising waters of lake nasser by one

of the true engineering wonders of the modern world.

The temple at ramses at abu simbel

was carved by hand from a solid sandstone cliff.

These statues guard the temple ramses ii built to the god

amun-ra and to ramses ii.

Good grief.

He must have been long on pride and short on humility.

Not like frank, he's just the opposite.

Oh, the other figure is queen nefertari, ramses' wife.

Definitely not a feminist.

She looks so dependent.

Maybe she's leaning too hard on the past.

Why shouldn't she, if her past was full of happiness?

What about the present?

What about us?

Helen, I don't want to pinch hit for frank.

Frank is part of us.

You can't just turn your back on the past

as if it never happened.

I'm not saying forget the past, just let it go.

Please, let go of frank.

You don't understand.

If I let him go, he's gone.

He's already gone, Helen, and I won't take his place.

We can't live in the past, at least I can't.

And I won't go on helping you do it anymore.

Please, frank.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean that.

Everything's going to be all right.

No. How can it ever be all right?

We were married for 30 years.

How can I start over now?

I don't want to do that.

I can't.

Now, ramses built this temple for his wife nefertari.

Her name means most beautiful.

Well, he must have loved her very much.

Oh, yes.

Well, judging from the size, not near as much as he

loved himself.

But that was ol' ramses for you.

What about Wayne Richmond?

How does he feel about me?

For a guy that makes his living with words,

I'm at a loss.

Well, let me tell you how I feel.

I didn't believe you when you said that missing that boat

was an accident.

I was sure that you were trying to get back

at me for the wine at dinner that night,

or maybe you were arranging an angle for your article.

Why don't we go on over there?

No, no, no, please, please, let me finish.

You had no reason to be civil to me, let alone nice

but you were both.

What I'm saying is I misjudged you.

I've probably been more wrong about you than any other man

I've ever known.

[Music playing]

Hi, Mr. Richmond.

Listen, gopher wanted me to tell you

that your paper telexed and wanted to know when you'd

be sending them something.

Well, I have some pages for him to send this afternoon,

ace.

Thanks.

Is that the article?

I can't wait to read this one.

It's the article I was gonna write,

but I won't be publishing it.

No longer applies.

I was a whole person before I met frank,

and I know I'm a whole person now,

but I wish I could feel that.

Frank took a part of me along with him, too,

Helen, but he left us even more, and that's the part to hold on

to, the good things, the love.

You're right.

He was special.

But i-- I have to let him go.

I'm afraid it'll take some time, more time than I thought,

I guess, but I will.

I'm sure you will, but if there's anything you ever need,

I'll be as close as a ship-to-shore phone call.

Thank you, merrill.

I'm afraid I've leaned on you too much already.

Don't you know that's what old friends are for?

[Music playing]

Greg.

I wonder where our dinner companion is tonight?

No idea.

Probably abandoned us for some young girl.

I'm sure every teenybopper on the ship's been after him.

Greg, I'd like to talk.

About what?

About us, about what's happened to the high school

sweethearts who married young and settle down before we

knew what it was all about.

Do you love me?

What are you trying to say?

I am trying to say that, Greg, our marriage is in trouble.

Oh, my god.

All because I have to do a little reading this trip.

A wall has gone up between us, and you refuse

even to acknowledge that.

Could you keep it down, please.

I mean, people are starting to look.

Let them.

Let them look.

Let them take a good look at the two of us,

a marriage dying due to your lack of interest.

Wayne?

How about some dinner on me?

Wayne?

Hello?

[Music playing]

Chris.

Good morning.

Hi.

You weren't at dinner last night and i--

we were worried.

I, uh, thought it might be awkward for you.

Oh.

I saw your husband leaving the ship.

Oh, yes.

He went into town for the day.

He has to arrange to send some manuscripts back to Seattle.

Uh, may I come in?

Uh, sure.

That outfit might do ok for the costume party tonight,

but I don't know what the folks at karnak are going to say.

Well, i'm, uh, i'm not going out today.

I, uh, I've seen enough temples for one cruise.

Then, do you mind if I stayed in with you?

Chris, I'm afraid.

You don't have anything to be afraid of.

Leave it to me.

[Music playing]

Karnak temple and Deborah Grant,

that's a great combination. Ok.

Yeah, yeah. That would be perfect.

Hold on a second.

Let me get her.

Ok.

Miss Grant, we're ready for you.

Ok.

Just a minute.

Well, there you are.

I've been looking all over for you.

Have you?

Anybody ever tell you, you look especially wonderful

in that light.

I'm paid to look wonderful.

It's part of the contract.

It's in the job description when you're in the public eye,

and I am in the public eye, aren't I, Mr. Richmond?

Mr. Richmond?

What is this?

This is goodbye.

I enjoyed our little adventure, but I am no longer amused.

Amused?

You were amused?

I thought you changed.

Obviously, I misjudged you.

Well, that's the thing about people, you know?

Sooner or later, they all live down

to your worst expectations.

Ace, can we get this over with?

By all means, ace.

Get it over with.

Thanks. Ok.

Hop on up there.

Take a pose similar to what we have here.

All right.

Here we go.

[Camera shutter clicking]

Miss Grant, are you all right?

I'm fine.

Ok.

Here we go.

[Camera shutter clicking]

Every pharaoh who ever ruled made a contribution

to karnak temple, usually a new building,

sometimes treasure or servants.

Well, what about the guy whose sarcophagus

is back on the ship?

He, too.

I'm sure if we looked, we could find his cartouche.

His signature?

Yes.

On a wall around here, somewhere.

Ah, this is the sun god, ra, the giver of life.

See how the rays are shown ending in human hands.

And here's the ankh.

The ancients believe that one's

breath was the key of life.

See how the ankh is always held to the pharaoh's nose.

This is fantastic.

Hm.

Hm.

It's not always held to the pharaoh's nose.

And here's that cartouche again.

You've been upset all day.

Anything you want to talk about?

Something between you and Richmond?

Trust me, there is nothing between Mr.

Richmond and myself.

I found that article he wrote documenting

his private adventure with, how did he phrase it,

the Hollywood ice queen.

You read that?

Yep.

[Laughs]

Miss Grant, I think there's something you should know.

I talked to Richmond.

[Music playing]

Greg!

I'd like to talk to you about this, Mr. Peters.

I want you out of here!

Greg, please let me explain.

Get out!

Not until we talk.

I'm in love with your wife, and I think she's in love with me.

Oh, Greg!

Stop!

No don't, don't!

Chris, get out of here. - Laurel.

Please, just leave now.

Out!

Get out!

Oh, Greg.

It-- this is the first--

this is the only time.

Why, why don't I believe that?

It is the truth.

It's the truth, Greg.

This is the only time.

Listen, uh, we're just going to forget about this.

We have to discuss this now.

We are never gonna mention it again, ever.

Greg.

Vicki (on pa): Calling all pharaohs, mummies,

and high priests, join us for costume

night in the ship's lounge.

Hi, Chris.

Not in the partying mood?

Guess not.

Wanna talk about it?

Judy, what do you think about younger men with older women?

Well, I'm personally in favor of it.

As the years go by, I like the idea more and more.

Look, Chris, she's married.

Not happily.

That's a choice she has to make, isn't it?

[Applause]

I think you were born to play Cleopatra, Deborah.

You look wonderful.

I wish I felt wonderful.

What good is Cleopatra when Mark Antony left the barge

without a word to anyone?

Ace is looking for Richmond.

He'll find him.

This ankh has caused nothing but trouble.

You know, doc, the pharaoh who owned

that cartouche sure got around.

I saw it again this afternoon on a wall at karnak temple

with a whole bunch of hieroglyphic treasure chests,

and it was--

wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

I want to tell you that this is quite possibly the biggest

thrill of my life, no, really, sharing

a dance with Deborah Grant.

I'm flattered, Mr. Smith.

Thank you.

Gopher, I think I figured it out.

You gotta come with doc and me.

Wait a minute.

Can't it wait 32 bars?

Excuse me.

[Speaking Egyptian]

Where is the nearest shade?

I never did find out where it was.

I always said the question right,

but I never could understand the answers I got.

Pity I wasn't there to translate for you.

Well, there is one phrase I would like to know.

How do you say, "may I have the next dance?"

[Speaking Egyptian]

What about merrill?

Merrill and I are good friends,

too good to risk that friendship with my dancing.

But maybe you would like to chance it?

[Speaking Egyptian]

I would be delighted.

[Music playing]

Isaac: Come on you guys.

Come on.

Let's go.

Gopher: Do we have to do this now?

It's dark and creepy in there.

Doc: Don't worry, gopher.

We'll make sure nothing falls on your head.

Gopher: Funny, doc, very funny.

Come on, you guys.

Here, right here.

Look.

See, this cartouche is the same one that is on your ankh

and on the sarcophagus.

So?

So this is our pharaoh, and the sun

should be holding the ankh next to its nose but it's not.

Oh, well that explains everything.

Doc, let me have the ankh.

Ok.

Here.

You know, this key of life may also be the key

that unlocks the treasure.

Shine your light up here just a second.

It really works!

I don't believe it.

Oh, no. I'm not going in there.

I'll take door number two.

Wow.

Look at that.

Congratulations, gentlemen.

It's what we've all been looking for.

Ok.

Let's have a look.

Miss Grant?

You don't have to tell me, ace.

You didn't find him.

I didn't think you would.

I'm sure he caught the first plane

to Cairo and with good reason.

It was a mistake.

How could you have known he wasn't going to publish

those pages you read?

Sometimes I feel like I've spent my entire life jumping

to conclusions, racing around trying

to get everywhere faster and be better than everybody else.

But Wayne, he taught me what was important.

Wayne: And I'd like to keep right on teaching if I may.

Wayne.

What do you say, sweetheart.

Is it me?

Well, I'll be inside if you guys

need me for anything, which I think is a remote possibility.

I heard you were looking for a Mark Antony,

and I wondered who I had to kiss to get the job.

Luckily, I've insisted on cast approval, at least

in my personal life.

I've been on the trail of this treasure for seven long years,

following clues I've found in temple after temple.

Once I translated the hieroglyphics

on that sarcophagus, everything fell into place.

I knew right where to look for this, pharaoh's ransom.

You're behind this?

So Carrie does work for the government after all.

Boy, did I get a wrong number.

And thanks to you three, all this is mine.

With you out of the way, this stuff will bring

a fortune on the black market.

I'll reseal the room, and maybe somebody will find your bodies

in another 3,000 years.

3,000 years?

We could be dead by then!

[Screaming]

Get the gun!

Don't let him get away. - I got him.

Hold it. Hold it.

Carrie, I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

Oh, that's all right, doc.

You have the whole rest of the cruise to make it up to me.

Doc, do you really think this is

the time or the place for that?

This may not be the place but doc

always seems to find the time.

Chris, what are you doing?

Laurel, our breakfast is getting cold.

Chris?

I'm getting off here.

I'm taking the next train back to aswan

and then maybe the red sea, I don't know.

I wish you'd come with me.

You know I can't.

Young man, don't you think you've caused--

why don't you do it?

Why don't you take a chance?

It could mean a new life for both of us.

You oughta be ashamed of yourself.

No.

You oughta be ashamed of yourself

for not treasuring every minute with this woman.

You may not want to face the truth, but I love her.

And I would like to spend the rest of my life with her.

Chris!

Laurel?

He's a kid.

What happens when he meets somebody

young, somebody his own age?

What will happen to you then?

I-- I won't be put in a position

to fight for my own wife. Let's eat.

No, Greg.

Let's not.

Laurel?

Chris!

I wanna go with you.

Well.

I know it's crazy, but right now,

it seems like the sanest thing I've ever done.

[Theme music]

How are you doing, Mr. Sawyer?

Well, looks like my film is off again.

Aw, did miss Grant back out?

Only for two weeks, it's the honeymoon

clause in my contract.

Hey, congratulations.

Wonderful,

you think your paper will make you cover your own wedding?

Oh, no.

When Richmond takes Grant it's going

to be a very private affair.

That's great.

And this is from the antiquities department

expressing its thanks in helping us recover a pharaoh's ransom

in ancient artifacts and for helping

us capture a major dealer in black market antiquities.

And this is from me.

What's he got that we haven't got?

The girl.

Bye-bye now.

Oh, bye-bye, Mrs. Branigan.

I hope you enjoyed your cruise.

I did.

Thank you, Vicki.

And thank you, merrill, for everything.

Where will you be going?

Well, actually, I'm staying in Egypt for a few days.

Nabil has promised me a personally guided

tour of Cairo's landmarks.

Well, since this is the city of 1,000 minarets, I'm sure

it will take you a while.

I can only hope, my friend.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

[Theme music]