Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ love exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ love is life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ love won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ welcome aboard, it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

♪ welcome aboard, it's love ♪

♪♪

-Excuse me. -Mm-hmm.

Uh, can you tell me how to get to the promenade deck?

Yes, sir. Just down through the lobby and up two decks.

Great. Thank you.

Oh, my god. Folks, please.

Give him some room, will you please?

Let me get in here. Sir?

Sir, try not to move.

I'll get you a doctor, okay?

Folks, please, can we have some room here?

[ Applause ]

Hold -- hold it. Hold it. Just a moment.

Hold it. Excuse me.

Do you mean to tell me you're not even hurt?

Of course not. Don't you know who I am?

I'm fearless frank hobbs,

man of 1,000 jumps, the daredevil Duke.

You do this for a living?

Come on. You're puttin' me on.

Didn't you see me on "believe it or else"?

I jumped out of a helicopter into a raft

on the Colorado river.

Nope. Never did.

Sure, since mtv, nobody watches sports anymore.

♪♪

I'll need the figures on the leading economic indicators

on my desk when I get back.

And, uh, please, the results of the poll

we're taking the south on my candidacy?

Do you think they're gonna like me in the south?

I don't know.

Maybe you'd better start eating grits just to make sure.

Well, I'll call you in the morning.

Senator and Mrs. Townsend, welcome aboard.

This is an honor.

Oh, thank you. Thank you, captain.

But, uh, on this trip, it's just felice and Bob.

Well, senator -- uh, Bob, uh,

i guess I'm having a hard time calling a future president

by his first name.

Ah. Well, future president may be a little premature.

The election is still a couple of years away.

Right now, all we want to do is relax

and forget about politics if that's possible.

Excuse me, senator townsend,

would you mind posing for a picture?

No, not at all.

Right over there.

[ Camera shutters clicking ]

I guess you have a lot of admirers.

Yeah.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Hello.

Where do we check in, please?

Oh, right here. Welcome aboard.

Thank you. I'm Anna petrovska, and this is my father.

Dr. Ivan petrovska.

You are on the aloha deck, cabins 352 and 354.

You go ahead, papa.

I will pick up a book in the gift shop.

-Oh, we'll show you the way. -Sure.

Petrovka? I'll bet that's Russian.

No. It's Italian.

I deserved that.

You know, I've always wanted to visit the Soviet union.

Then you should be talking to travel agent.

Nice meeting you too.

[ Foghorn blows ]

♪♪

I have a question.

Why do we always do our dance numbers

in the international lounge?

Because that's where the stage

and the musicians and the audience are.

Hmm.

I always thought it would be fun to do a dance number

right here at night on the lido deck.

At night? In our skimpy costumes?

We'd freeze to death.

I have a better idea.

Why don't we dance in our cabins,

and the passengers can go door to door?

[ Laughter ]

Sure, make fun.

I was just trying to be creative.

Oh.

At last, I've got you alone, all to myself.

Madam, think of my constituency.

Let them get their own senator.

[ Both chuckle ]

Mm.

No committees to share you with,

no caucuses, no emergency sessions.

No press conferences, no policy papers, no reports,

no...

What is it?

There is one report I really should read.

Sam needs my input on this right away.

Oh, come on. Sam can wait.

Oh, is that what you're gonna say when I'm president?

Mrs. Thatcher can wait?

Premier gorbachev can wait?

Fidel can wait?

[ Sighs ]

I don't know why they're called first ladies.

They always come last.

♪♪

No, I still can't quite place you.

I'll give you a hint.

I was on right after the hagler fight.

Oh, I saw that fight. Let me think.

Uh, say, you're not the guy

in the disposable razor ads, are you?

I'm fearless frank hobbs.

I walked across snake river canyon

on the world's largest rubber band.

Oh, that fearless frank hobbs.

Well, if I had my flashy suit on, you'd recognize me.

Excuse me.

Oh!

Oh!

I'm sorry. I didn't see you.

Oh, it's okay.

-Are you hurt? -My leg.

It's a simple fracture. It happens all the time.

Here. Let me help you up. I'm really sorry.

Oh, don't worry about me. I'm a fast healer.

How about a little dining and dancing later

just to test it out?

Is this some kind of joke?

Well, with all the good-looking guys onboard,

I had to do something to get your attention.

Well, you got it.

But now, I'm taking it back.

Bye-bye.

♪♪

Honey, I'm gonna go up and send this telex to Sam, okay?

I'll be right back.

Vicki: Let me just give you some information

on some of tours that you can take.

Excuse me.

Hi, looking for the pool?

Sauna?

Shower?

Well, I guess it's none of my business.

Ashley: Okay, come on. Big smiles.

Come on. That's it.

Great. Got it. Thanks.

No! No! No!

Whoa! Catch!

[ Screams ]

[ Sighs ]

No, thanks.

I'm so sorry.

Just an accident.

It's okay. I must've startled you.

Yes, you did.

You see, um, well,

we would prefer our pictures not be taken.

My father is extremely camera shy.

Well, it won't happen again, believe me.

I can take a hint.

I am sorry.

Well, you could make it up to me over dinner.

I don't think so.

Ah, another hint.

Well, I would, but, uh, I can't.

Well, I better go dry off

before I catch my death of humiliation.

That's a joke.

Good catch.

You need to calm down, Anna.

Incidents like this can only draw attention our way.

Come.

When can we meet?

Not now.

Father, wasn't that him?

It was, yes.

But why didn't you --

now is not the time.

It will happen. Trust me.

♪♪

Hello!

Are you crazy?

What are you doing?

I just wanted to apologize for this morning.

But you're 50 feet over the ocean.

You could get yourself killed.

-I want you to forgive me. -I forgive you.

Now, please climb back up.

You mean it?

Yes.

So, uh, how about dinner?

We'll talk about dinner after you climb up.

No. Tell me now. I'm slippin'.

Okay. All right. All right. I'll go to dinner with you.

Just please climb back up.

Well, what time's good for you?

Anytime.

Just get up there.

Great. I'll see you at 8:00.

Hi.

Well, hello.

Excuse me, miss. You forgot your towel.

Oh, my goodness.

♪♪

Oh, ace! Well, we've just been looking at your pictures.

-Uh, very nice. -Well, thank you, captain.

No water damage at all.

Oh, great. Everybody's heard about it.

Yeah, maybe you should get yourself a camera that floats.

Good idea, sir. Thank you.

Carry on, ace.

Bye.

[ Mockingly ] Bye.

Felice. Felice, listen to this.

I got the results of the poll in the south.

We're running 12 points higher than we expected.

That's nice, Bob.

"That's nice, Bob"? It's terrific, tremendous!

I'm practically the front-runner.

I'm still running behind no opinion,

but it's a start.

Good.

Now, maybe you can relax and forget about it for a while.

I've got momentum, honey. This is no time to coast.

♪♪

Frank, please come down here.

Don't you know how dangerous that is?

I've already agreed to have dinner with you.

Hey, don't worry. I trained three summers

with the flying sabatinis. Now, they were crazy.

Did you know three of them were legally blind?

I'm not taking another step till you come down.

Oh.

All right.

Hey, you're really scared, aren't you?

I'm -- I'm sorry.

I -- I forget what I do scares people.

I -- I just think it's -- it's fun.

What's with you anyway? Why do you do these things?

Because it's exciting and people pay me a lot of money.

And that's worth risking your life?

I don't look at it like that.

Even when I was a kid,

I jumped off jungle gyms and bailed out of swings.

I wasn't the brightest kid.

[ Both laugh ]

I wasn't the cutest kid.

So stunts were my way of getting people to notice me.

Well, that's sad.

You can comfort me later. I really like being comforted.

You know, you're right. You're not too bright.

But you are cute.

I'll settle for cute.

Bright guys don't get that many girls.

[ All cheering ]

Thank you.

Excuse me, honey. Sure.

Well, hello again.

I'm sorry. Have we met?

In the corridor. I still have your towel.

I -- I don't know what you mean, Mr., uh...

Bricker. Adam bricker, the ship's doctor.

And you are...? -Sorry, darling.

Hi, Bob townsend. -Hello.

Dr. Bricker.

Uh, Dr. Bricker seems to think we've met.

Something about a towel?

Oh, well, it all happened so quickly.

I must've been confusing you

with some other person or some other towel.

Well, nice meeting you, doctor.

Senator.

That doctor's very strange.

Well, as long as we stay healthy,

we have nothing to worry about.

This is terrible.

How could such a thing have happened?

Dmitri, please, calm down.

You were very careful. It's not your fault.

Maybe not, but I'll be the one who will pay the price

if copy of this gets into the wrong hands.

Then we must make sure there are no copies.

Mm.

I do have a plan, but I need both of you to help.

All right.

But if your plan doesn't work, the deal is off.

It must.

We can't let this ruin everything we work for.

♪♪

I guess there's not much more to tell.

I went with Alex for 3 years.

And when he asked me to marry him,

I looked at this handsome, intelligent, responsible,

secure man and said no.

Really? Why?

Uh, he was boring.

How'd he take the news?

Like a responsible adult.

He said he understood and that he wouldn't date for 30 days

just in case I changed my mind.

Sounds like a real wild man.

Let's say we go into puerto vallarta tomorrow

and Bury the guy.

I'd love to.

Only, it'll have to be in the afternoon.

At 10:30 in the morning,

I'm jumping 37 pink jeeps on a rocket cycle.

I'm free after that, though.

37 jeeps?

I shouldn't have said anything. Now you're gonna worry,

and there's really nothing to worry about.

See, you know, I plan these things out very carefully.

Hmm. Well, that's very comforting to know.

Well, it's very technical.

But what it boils down to is this --

I get on the rocket cycle, and I go real fast.

And what about the landing?

That's the tricky part.

That's really the only place you could...

Get hurt.

♪♪

[ Knock on door ]

Uh, just a moment.

Ah.

Oh, shoot.

Come on in.

I hope I'm not interrupting.

Uh, no, no. I was just finishing up.

I want to apologize for my behavior today.

Look. Don't worry about it.

What do you say we go dancing?

Dancing? Yeah, that sounds good to me.

Great.

Am I dressed right?

Yes, you are dressed perfectly.

Oh, for a moment I thought gloves were required.

Ah, they're optional.

Shall we?

I'm sorry. I just can't do this.

It's -- it's on my mind too much.

What is it, the Jeep jump again?

It's not the Jeep jump. It's the Jeep jump landing.

Relax. It's just the Jeep-jump jitters.

I'll make you forget.

Frank, I know we've only known each other a short time,

but do you care about me, even a little?

I care about you a lot.

Then please don't do this stunt.

I have to do this stunt.

If that's what you've decided,

I never want to see you again.

Carol, you really don't expect me to believe that, do you?

No.

I just thought it was worth a shot.

I -- I have to do the stunt. I have a contract.

Tickets are sold.

They made t-shirts.

I can't back out.

Okay.

Just promise me you won't get hurt.

Scouts honor.

Cross my heart and hope to --

bad -- bad choice of words.

♪♪

I just can't believe it.

A few hours ago, you were acting as if I was your enemy,

and now...

Well, you know, we Russian girls

take a little longer to warm up to people.

Mm.

It has to do with the long winters.

Oh. I like long winters.

I've never seen so many bad pictures.

We don't have time for a critique.

Let's just find the negatives and get out of here.

♪♪

Evening.

Mrs. Townsend, you've got to stop doing that.

You're a senator's wife.

Look, if you want my vote that badly --

I think I'll take a bath.

A bath?

Oh, I don't think that's a good idea, Mrs. Townsend.

There's no lifeguard on duty.

Oh, not again.

Not here.

I can't take this.

Mrs. Townsend, please. You're a role model.

Where am I?

What -- what are you doing here?

Me? Nothing, really.

We were standing here and you jumped in.

Here, let me help you.

Get away from me.

It's okay. I'm a doctor.

I don't understand.

The last thing I remember, I was in bed.

Felice.

Isn't it a little late to be skinny-dipping.

Hi. Did I mention I was a doctor?

[ Elevator bell dings

[ sighs ]

Er!

♪♪

♪♪

Good morning, passengers.

We are now serving our delicious breakfast buffet

on the starlight deck.

The truth is, I'm innocent.

I'm not having an affair with the senator's wife.

Well, maybe you should go to him and explain.

What am I gonna say?

Your wife keeps taking her clothes off

and throwing herself into my arms but it's not my fault.

Would you believe that?

I barely believe it and I'm your friend.

Adam, I suggest you avoid seeing her

for the rest of the voyage.

She seemed so confused last night.

In the pool she said the last thing

she remembered was being in bed.

What am I, stupid or something?

It's staring me right in the face.

That could explain everything.

Well, I guess talking to me helped, right Adam?

No offense, merrill, but you were no help at all.

This was all me.

I'm brilliant.

I must've helped some.

I'm the captain.

Anna, there you are.

I've been looking all over for you.

You're not gonna believe what happened last night.

What?

Somebody broke into my darkroom and tore it to shreds.

I was up the entire night putting it back together.

That's terrible. Was anything stolen?

Well, that's the weird part.

I didn't think so at first.

And then I went through my negatives

and I discovered that a lot were missing.

With there negatives gone there is no way

of telling what was in those pictures, is there?

Well, that's what someone thinks,

but that's where I've outsmarted 'em.

See, it just so happens that I always run off

a duplicate batch of photos on each role.

-You do? -Yeah, that way

I'm covered if I drop something in the wrong solution.

You know, we photographers work in the dark.

You see, we only have this little red light --

uh, well, anyway.

Look who's in each one of these photographs.

♪♪

Oh, it's the man who is going to jump over the jeeps.

Yeah. But I don't get it.

I mean, why would he want to destroy my darkroom?

Well, there is no real harm done.

Why don't you forget about it?

No way. I'm gonna find Mr. Hotshot daredevil

and tell him exactly what I think of him.

I'll see you.

♪♪

[ Clears throat ] Excuse me, Mr. Hobbs.

Listen, if you wanted an extra copy

of these photographs all you do was ask me.

You didn't have to ransack my darkroom for the negatives.

Uh, look, no offense, but there's really no reason

I'd want any of these pictures.

They're out of focus and badly framed.

Well, the ship was moving.

Look, I've got plenty of pictures.

Uh, thanks anyway.

I've ironed out the snags in the lido deck number --

you see, we do it to this song called "it's raining men,"

and then we get these cute guys to come over and --

come on, you guys. Loosen up.

How can you eat all that?

Aren't you the least bit nervous?

I always eat big before a stunt.

Why, because it might be your last meal?

Carol, relax. It's going to be a great jump.

You're gonna love it.

Mnh-mnh. I'm not gonna love it,

'cause I'm not gonna be there.

What do you mean? I got you a great seat

right next to the landing.

Oh, good. That way I can be the first person

to know when you break every bone in your body.

No, thank you very much.

That's okay, I understand. I'll tell you what.

We'll get together after the jump

and we'll have a great time.

Oh, great.

Now look what I've done.

Well, I can't change suits.

My other one isn't --

isn't what? Fireproof?

Is that what you were gonna say?

My god, I'm never gonna see you again.

This is too much.

It doesn't mean anything.

It's just for insurance.

There's hardly ever any fire.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to romantic puerto vallarta.

We hope you enjoy a memorable visit

to this beautiful Mexican resort town.

♪♪

Uh, senator.

You do well to keep out of my way, doctor.

If you have a minute, I think I can explain

your wife's odd behavior.

Ah, well let's blame it all on my wife

like the true gentleman you are.

There's nothing to blame anybody for.

We're both innocent, please.

You've got 5 minutes.

All right.

What do you know about somnambulism?

-Sleepwalking? -Mm-hmm.

You're gonna claim that's what felice is doing?

Well, that's my theory.

People who sleepwalk seem to be awake

and in control of themselves

when actually they don't know what they're doing or saying.

It's pretty far-fetched.

Well, would you rather believe your wife's unfaithful.

Senator, I'm not asking you to take my word

that your wife's a sleepwalker.

Why don't you stay up tonight and watch her?

Find out for yourself.

If you love her, you owe her that much.

♪♪

He should be here any minute.

I hope he isn't hurt too badly.

To think I had a ticket.

I could've seen this whole thing.

Well, I mean they're bringing him back to the ship.

How bad could it be?

Frank?

Carol.

Frank, are you all right?

I'm fine. I'm fine.

They gave me a sedative, but I don't think it's working.

See, I told you they'd bring him back.

No problem.

Ladies and gentlemen, as we set sail for home

we know you're taking with you many fond memories

of a fabulous day in puerto vallarta.

Enjoy your evening aboard ship.

Ace, my first instinct is to tell you are overreacting.

Overreacting!

Sir, I spent the entire day investigating this

and it all fits together.

Don't you see what I'm saying?

It's hear what you're saying.

And you haven't said anything.

You came into my office, you threw a picture on my desk

and you said high treason had been committed on my ship.

All right. Okay.

This passenger, Dr. Petrovska, works at Stanford.

Get it? Stanford.

Nuclear research?

And here he is exchanging envelopes with another Russian.

And you know who that other Russian is?

Give me a hint.

Is he in the entertainment business?

Sir, I'm serious.

I checked the passenger records.

This is Dmitri kostov.

He's from the Soviet embassy in Mexico City.

Huh? Huh?

He got off the ship this afternoon

and never reboarded.

Huh? Huh?

-Oh. -I'm telling you, sir,

this is espionage at the highest level.

Oh, ace. There must be an infinite number

of explanations for this.

Okay, then how you do you explain the stolen photographs

and the missing negatives? Huh? Huh?

Well, I suppose it is worth looking into.

You take the picture.

Once we get back to port, I'll have an FBI agent meet us,

and they can take it from there.

Okay. All right.

If that's the way you want to handle it.

[ Knock on door ]

Come in.

Oh, frank. I'm so sorry.

Afraid something like this might happen.

Oh, that didn't hurt, did it?

No, actually, it's kinda numb right there,

but it sounded like a great kiss.

Oh, look at you.

Hey, look at the bright side.

I set a brand-new world record out there today --

36 1/2 jeeps.

[ Chuckles ]

What's this?

Something to commemorate the occasion.

I bought it at the hospital gift shop.

An etch a sketch.

I couldn't get the ambulance driver

to stop at a jewelry store.

Let's just be thankful

you didn't get yourself killed today.

Well, this sort of thing goes with the territory.

I got off easy this time.

I'm conscious, and I'm talking.

You're not thinking of doing this again, are you?

So I'll be laid up a couple of months. Big deal.

I'll catch up on my motorcycle magazines.

The Lincoln nosedive off mount rushmore

isn't until November.

There's no sense talking to you, frank,

'cause it's obvious your brain wasn't wearing a seat belt.

♪♪

[ Door closes ]

[ Door opens, closes ]

Hi.

Hi. Mm.

Turned in pretty early tonight, huh?

I'm gonna miss that.

Do you know where you are?

Of course I do, Bob.

Come on. It's bedtime.

Uh, maybe I better take you back to your cabin.

Kiss me, Mr. President.

Mrs. Townsend, please. You'd better come with me.

Uh, I can't leave the cabin dressed like this.

All right.

Then you stay here, and I'll be right back, okay?

Fine, but don't be gone long.

I'm feeling romantic.

I'll -- hello. Um, I'll [stammers]

I'll hurry.

I don't know why the girls won't listen to me.

A dance number on the lido deck isn't such a bad idea.

I can see it.

I really can.

It's so clear.

All: Hi. This your mermaid weather station.

Uh-huh.

And have we got news for you.

Better listen.

Get ready, all you lonely girls,

and leave those umbrellas at home.

All right.

♪ Humidity's rising ♪

♪ mm, rising ♪

♪ barometer's getting low ♪

How low, girls?

♪ According to all sources ♪

What sources?

♪ The street's the place to go ♪

♪ 'cause tonight, for the first time ♪

♪ just about half past 10 ♪

♪ for the first time in history ♪

♪ it's gonna start raining men ♪

♪ it's raining men ♪

♪ hallelujah, it's raining men ♪

♪ amen ♪

♪ I'm gonna go out ♪

♪ I'm gonna let myself get ♪

♪ absolutely soaking wet ♪

♪ it's raining men ♪

♪ hallelujah, it's raining men ♪

♪ every specimen ♪

♪ tall, blond, dark, and mean ♪

♪ rough and tough and strong and lean ♪

♪ it's raining men ♪

♪ hallelujah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ god bless mother nature ♪

♪ she's a single woman, too ♪

♪ she took over heaven ♪

♪ and she did what had to do ♪

♪ she taught every angel ♪

♪ to rearrange the sky ♪

♪ so that each and every woman ♪

♪ could find the perfect guy ♪

♪ it's raining men ♪

♪ hallelujah, it's raining men ♪

♪ amen ♪

♪ it's raining men ♪

♪ hallelujah, it's raining men ♪

♪ amen, it's raining men ♪

Amy. We're on soon. What are you doing?

Oh, just thinkin' about the lido deck number.

Amy, I'm your friend, so I'm gonna be kind.

Your idea stinks.

Mm. I guess so.

♪ It's raining men ♪

♪ hallelujah, it's raining men ♪

♪ amen ♪

♪ it's raining men ♪

♪ hallelujah, it's raining men ♪

Amen

♪♪

She's waiting by the rail.

She's gone. Look.

Oh, we'd better hurry.

She's hasn't got much left to shed.

Come on.

Hello, ace.

Anna.

I thought we could spend some time together.

[ Chuckles lightly ]

If you're after the picture, forget it.

I need that picture, ace.

Over my dead body.

Uh, let me rephrase that.

The picture.

Okay.

But the captain has a copy.

It's not gonna do you any good.

The captain?

He knows about this?

Oh, he knows it all.

He's radioed ahead to the FBI.

They're gonna meet us when we dock.

-No. -Yes.

Your little spy game is over, Ms. Petrovska,

if that's your real name.

-Spy? -Yeah.

What are you talking about?

Don't play dumb with me.

We know that your father's been passing top-secret technology

to the Soviet embassy in Mexico City.

Oh, my god.

Ah!

I've got you covered.

Put 'em up.

Ace, put the gun down. It's not real.

Sure.

What do you think you're dealing with here, a rank amateur here?

Huh? Huh?

It's a cigarette lighter.

[ Chuckles lightly ]

You'd think the kgb would give you a real gun.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Come on, dice. Come on, dice.

Let's do it twice!

[ All cheering ]

I don't believe it. It's a gift.

I don't know where it comes from.

Frank, what are you doin' down here?

You should be resting in bed.

Well, I don't know. I just -- I -- I feel lucky.

Come on, seven! Daddy needs a Walker!

How'd I do?

Snake eyes. It's a loser.

-Aw. -Aw.

Frank.

I guess my streak's over.

I need to talk to you.

Whoa, wait. Hang on. Uh, here, susie, for your trouble.

Thanks. Uh, wait.

My chips, Carol. My chips.

I'm not ca-- hey.

Not important.

5 red.

Place your bets.

-Place your bets please. -Here we go again.

All right.

Excuse me, ma'am.

22 black.

Uh, ma'am, excuse me.

You're on my number, and I just won.

So you think maybe -- maybe you move over

to the crap table, hmm?

Excuse me. Come on, dear.

It's time for bed.

That's still good, right? All right.

Okay. Let's hear some chatter.

♪♪

Frank...

Here it goes.

I think you're a wonderful person.

You know, in 2 days, I've had more fun with you

than the 3 years I spent with Mr. Boring.

But I just can't function this crazy kind of relationship.

I won't live my life always in fear

that you're gonna come back to me in a basket

or maybe not even at all.

I'm sorry, frank.

That's the way it is.

Carol, wait.

Ple-- come back.

Carol. Wait.

Please, come back. Carol!

How am I gonna get back to my cabin?

Oh.

Okay. I believe you're not a spy.

But I still have these photographs of your father,

a doctor at Stanford, passing envelopes to a Russian diplomat.

My father is a doctor, a doctor of physical education.

He coaches the gymnastics team.

Gymnastics?

Those envelopes contain sensitive documents, all right?

Love letters.

Love letters?

To Dmitri kostov?

No, to my mother.

My father came to the United States

on a cultural exchange 2 years ago and defected.

Dmitri kostov is my father's friend,

and he's taking a great risk passing letters

back and forth between my father and my mother,

who is still in Russia.

Hmm. What would the Russian government do if they found out?

Well, it could jeopardize my mother's chances

of joining us here.

So they're forbidden to communicate?

Exactly.

It's a very delicate international situation.

If that picture is made public in any kind of way --

say no more.

This is not at all what I thought it was.

The captain doesn't really have a print.

I was just saying that to save my life.

Thank you.

But I am still a little disappointed, though.

I mean, those kisses of yours were rather convincing.

In fact, you had me fooled.

I guess fooling me is pretty easy.

Now, that one was pretty real.

Hmm?

Ace!

Oh, no!

Not the dom peérignon.

Well... Now, where were we?

Hmm?

[ Knock on door ]

Come in.

Thanks for the ride, Cecil.

Sorry it took me so long, but I was stranded on deck

until Cecil came by.

I'm sorry. I -- I didn't think to --

no. No, that's okay.

Sitting alone up there really gave me some time to think.

And you know what came to mind?

What?

All the times I've been in a cast,

there's always been one spot

I can't reach that really itches.

Maybe it's time I gave up this crazy business.

Do you really mean that?

Yeah.

Something's changed.

That kid who used to jump off jungle gyms

doesn't need that kind of attention anymore

if he's got you.

It's time I settled into a nice, easy routine job.

Oh, frank. That's wonderful.

Yep.

Starting next week, I'm looking for work as a stuntman

in Hollywood.

That's it?

That's your nice, easy routine job?

Well, maybe I'll come home

with a few bumps and bruises now and then,

but I'm more likely to stay in one piece.

That's better, isn't it?

I guess that's better.

I love you, frank.

I love you too.

[ Chuckles lightly ]

It's a miracle. I can walk.

I can walk.

I wonder what else I can do.

[ Chuckles ]

♪♪

♪♪

It's one of those catch-22s, felice.

The more you worried about Bob's overworking, the more anxious

and tense you became, the more you'd sleepwalk.

This morning was the first time

that I woke up feeling refreshed in a long time.

Well, sometimes, potomac fever

can make a man lose sight of what's happening at home.

It was a privilege to have you onboard, Bob.

That's senator now. The cruise is over.

Good-bye. Thank you.

-Bye-bye. -Thank you. Bye now.

Bye.

I like a president with a sense of humor.

Can I get you folks a cab?

No, thank you.

I have my car here.

I'll take frank home.

Not on the freeway.

Ha-- have you seen how they drive out here?

Absolutely no concern for safety.

-Bye. -Bye-bye.

Couldn't we take surface streets.

I'm sure we could get there on surface streets.

Ace, I must apologize for the trouble we caused you.

Oh, hey, I'm always willing to sacrifice some photographs

for the improvement of international relations.

-Thank you so much. -My pleasure.

Thank you. Bye-bye.

Well, I hope that, uh, we can see each other again.

You'll have dinner with us when my mother arrives.

She can cook the chefs at the Russian tea room

under the table.

[ Laughs ]

Mm.

-Bye-bye. -Bye.

Well, well.

Looks like you made quite an impression on Anna.

Oh, I don't know.

Falling into the pool, setting the ship on fire.

I think the guy's trying too hard.

Very funny.

♪♪

♪♪