Original subtitles

Theo, How You Feeling?

I Still Have The Cold

But Nothing Will Stop Me From Going To The Prom.

I Went To The Tuxedo Shop

I Said To Myself, "Money Is No Object.

I'm Going To Get Something To Make Justine Go Wild!"

Looks Like I'm Going To Have To Upgrade My Tuxedo.

Smitty, Come Here.

Just A Second.

Be Right With You.

How About I Pick You Up Around 7:00?

Great, I'll Be Waiting.

When You See This

You Will Want To Kiss Me, Too-- But Don't.

We're Getting To The Prom In Our Own Limousine.

How Did You Score That?

My Cousin Is The Limo King Of Forest Hills.

This Is His Top Chariot.

Quadraphonic Stereo, A Moon Roof

A Television, Complimentary Nuts

And We Get The Family Discount!

How Much?

Regularly $90 An Hour

For Us, $69.99, Tip Included.

With Our Parents Chipping In, We Could Make It.

Smitty, Justine Will Hate You For This.

Once She Spends An Evening In This Limousine With Us

The Rest Of Her Life Is Downhill!

What's Up?

Oh, Gordo.

How Are You Getting To The Prom?

I Hired A Car.

You Can Say We Hired A Car, Too.

Check This Out.

Not Bad.

"Not Bad"?

When Our Car Pulls Up Next To Yours

Your Date Is Going To Jump Out And Dive Through Our Moon Roof.

I Wouldn't Count On That, Guys.

Because Darlene And I Are Going To The Prom

In This.

You Guys Just Got The Standard Limousine.

I've Got The Olympiad Ultra-Stretch.

It's Nine Feet Longer.

Not To Mention Fully Equipped With Large Screen Tv, Vcr

Cd Stereo Player

And A Complimentary Basket Of Tropical Fruit.

See You Guys Later.

Do We Have Any Of Those Things?

No, But We Can Stop At The Market For The Fruit.

Gordon Is Going To Make Us Look Bad.

We May Be Going To The Prom Solo.

We've Got To Find Something To Top Gordon.

How About This?

We Take The Limo To Central Park And Hire

A Carriage To Take Us To The Prom?

No Good.

Neil Dugan Did That Last Year.

Disaster.

His Date Smelled Like A Horse All Night.

What Are We Going To Do?

Wait A Minute.

Of Course, I Got It.

What?

This Is Good.

It's Never Been Done In The History Of Proms.

Don't Leave Us Hanging.

We Arrive At The Prom

In A Helicopter.

A Helicopter?

I Love It.

You're A Genius.

I Know.

Let's Do It.

All Right.

Theo Showed Me

A Picture Of The Limousine He's Taking.

It Has Tinted Windows So You Can't See Inside.

If I Was In A Limousine, I'd Want Everybody To See Me.

Did Dad Take You In A Limousine?

I Didn't Go To My Prom.

Why Not?

Your Father Was At School Taking Final Exams

So He Couldn't Come.

Why Didn't You Take Someone Else?

Nobody Should Miss Their Prom.

I Didn't Want To Take Someone Else.

Your Father And I Were In Love.

So On Your Prom Night

You Sat All Alone And Cried Your Head Off?

No, I Talked To Your Dad On The Phone

And Went To A Movie.

Did You Cry Your Head Off

At The Movie?

No.

Compared To Some Girls I Knew, I Had It Very Good.

One Girl Named Cissy Logan, Her Father Was Very Strict.

He Made Her Go To The Prom With Him.

If She Danced With A Boy, He Stood Next To Them And Watched.

Compared To Cissy, I Had It Very Good.

Rudy, Mom's Holding Back On Us.

About What?

About Being Happy On Her Prom Night.

She Was Miserable.

She's Just Not Telling Us.

How Do You Know?

Because That's What Parents Do.

They Hide Their Feelings Inside To Protect Their Children.

In Reality, Our Mom Has Been Unhappy About This

For 30 Years.

Poor Mom.

Hey!

What's The Matter With You?

Dad, How Could You Let Our Mom Be Miserable For 30 Years?

I Don't Understand What You're Talking About.

You Never Took Her To Her Senior Prom.

Oh.

Listen, I Was Taking Final Exams.

You Could Have Come Back.

No, I Couldn't Have.

These Exams Were Very Important.

I Wouldn't Have Married You.

Clair!

Listen, Your Mother And I Had An Understanding.

She Has Never Showed Me That This Bothered Her.

She Has Been Keeping It Inside For 30 Years.

Dad, You Did Mom Wrong.

It's Time You Did Something About It.

You Should Take Her To Theo's Prom.

No, Theo Would Be Miserable The Rest Of His Life.

I Know.

We Should Throw A Prom For Mom.

What?

Yeah, Right Here In Our Own Living Room.

Are You Guys Serious?

Yeah! Yeah!

Your Mother Didn't Suggest This?

No. No.

Sounds Like A Good Idea.

Yes, We'd Like To Take The Private Helicopter

To The Eastside Heliport.

Then We'd Like To Swing South

And Circle The Statue Of Liberty A Few Times Before We Land.

Also, Is There A Parking Space For Our Limousine?

Okay, Great.

One More Thing.

Do You Have Complimentary Mixed Nuts?

Guys, The Nuts Are Extra.

Go For It.

We'll Take The Nuts.

How Much Is All This Going To Cost?

Sure, I'll Hold.

He's Figuring It Out.

I Can't Believe This Is Going To Happen.

Roxanne Flipped When She Heard.

Before, She Wouldn't Talk To Me.

Today, She Waited At My Locker.

You Should Have Seen Gordon's Face When I Told Him.

He Might Never Recover.

All Right.

Yes, I'm Here.

Okay...

Yeah?

Okay, Great.

Book It.

Thanks.

Gentlemen

We Have Ourselves A Helicopter.

All Right.

How Much?

Well, Rental Of The Helicopter And Pilot: $250.

Fuel Is Another $50.

And There's A $20 Surcharge Per Passenger.

That Comes To...

More Than $400.

How Much Are The Nuts?

We Can't Pay For That.

When I Tell Roxanne There's No Helicopter, She Will Plotz.

We Can't Give Up.

There's Got To Be A Way We Can Pull This Off.

Hey, Hey.

Hey, Fellas.

Look At That.

What?

There's An Ad For Helicopter Lessons.

$89 An Hour.

I'll Take The Lessons.

Theo, What About Us?

You Guys Don't Get It.

When I Go Up For My Lesson

I'll Say I Have Five Friends To Take Into The City.

Will That Work?

We'll Be Stepping Out Of Limousines

Dressed In Tuxedoes.

How Can They Say "No" To Us?

You're Right.

We're In.

Can I Say Something?

Why Be Satisfied With A Helicopter And A Limo?

Let's Think Of Something To Put Gordon Away.

Yeah, Something The Ladies Will Really Like.

Roxanne Told Me She Likes Caviar.

Perfect.

You Know What Goes Good With Caviar?

A Nice, Imported Salami.

Hey, There You Go.

Dad!

Hey, I'm Down Here!

Dad, I Need Your Help.

Whoo, Look Out Now.

Doctor Do-It!

Thanks.

Looking Beautiful. What's Happening?

I Put Everything On That Came In The Box

But I Don't Know What To Do With These.

These Are Garters For Your Socks.

Actually, In The Old Days

Before They Put Rubber In The Socks

You Put Them On

And After You Took Three Steps

The Socks Would Go For Themselves.

So They Wind Up Down Around Your Ankles

And Your Pants Were Up Like This

And People See The Ash

All Up In Here.

So You Don't Need These Now.

But I Want To Put Them On.

Then Go For It.

This Is

A Pretty Exciting Night For You, Isn't It?

It Might Be One I'll Write About.

And You Get To Stay Out As Late As You Want.

I Got A Lot Of Sleep Last Night.

Just Because You Have Permission To Stay Out Late

Doesn't Mean You Have Permission Todo Everything You Want.

Dad, I Won't Be Doing Anything At My Prom Tonight

That You Won't Be Doing At Yours.

Don't Forget.

I'm Married To My Prom Date.

Got You, Dad.

Hey, Everybody!

Hello.

Looking Good! Looking Good!

Not Bad Yourself, Huxtable.

Who Are These Lovely People?

This Is Denny.

These Are Our Dates, Sylvia, Roxanne And Justine.

I Want To Take Your Picture.

Move To This Side Of The Room.

Denny: You're Taking A Picture Of The People

Who May Go Down In History

As The Greatest Prom-Goers Of All Time.

You And Your Friend Move Closer.

I'll Make Sure It's Focused.

What Are You Doing?

I'm Helping.

Can You Wait One Second?

Just Go Down Right There.

Go A Little Further Down.

Okay, Take It.

Say, "Party 'Til You Drop."

Party 'Til You Drop.

( Doorbell )

One More.

I'm Mike, The Limousine Driver.

How Are You?

I Hope I'm Not Disturbing You

But I Like To Meet The Parents.

Thank You.

As A Parent, I Know What It's Like To Wait And Worry.

Yeah.

Here's My Car's Phone Number.

Look It Over.

Oh, No, No.

Have A Sit-Down.

Theo, Do We Have Time To Freshen Up?

Of Course.

There's A Bathroom Down The Hall.

Thank You.

While We're Waiting, Can I Get Something To Drink?

There's Ginger Ale In The Limo.

Yeah, I Know.

But I Want A Drink Now.

Come With Me.

Guys, We Got To Talk.

What's Up?

It's The Caviar.

Did You Get It?

Yeah.

Let's See It.

That's It?

Where's The Rest Of It?

This Is It.

This Cost Me $16.

We'll Use Small Forks To Make It Look Like More.

Thanks For The Water, Theo.

No Problem.

We're Ready To Go.

Ladies And Gentlemen

Your Chariot Awaits!

All Right!

Mom, Dad, See You Later.

Bye-Bye!

Good Night. Have A Good Time.

Well, There's Another Child Off To The Prom.

Yeah, And I Have Something For You.

A Little Surprise For You.

Ha-Ha!

Read That, Please.

"Crestview High, Class Of '58

"Presents The Starlight Memories Senior Prom.

"Date: Today. Time: Tonight.

"Place: The Papaya Ballroom

Of The Hotel Huxtable."

If You Please.

It's My "Sweet Sixteen" Dress!

That's Right.

Oh!

I Can't Get Into This.

Yes, You Can.

I Gave The Tailor The Measurements.

I Did Mine Also.

We're A Little Broader.

We're Going To The Prom?

Please Hit Your Room.

I'll Change In My Office.

Well, Hello.

Is This The Papaya Room Of The Hotel Huxtable?

Yes, It Is.

Please, Do Come In, Miss Hanks.

We're Your Chaperones.

I Am Your Math Teacher, Mrs. Doorwood.

And I Am Your English Teacher, Miss Hall.

It's Nice To See You Again.

Please, Do Join Us.

You Seem To Have Come Without A Date.

I Had One, But I Can't Seem To Find Him.

Lucky For You, There's A Young Man Here Without A Date.

Oh, Young Man! Young Man!

Clair, May I Present Heathcliff Huxtable.

He's A Junior At Hillman College.

He Plays Football And Runs Track.

He Wants To Be A Doctor.

( Whispering: ) But I Don't Think He'll Make It.

Heathcliff, This Is Clair Hanks.

She's A Senior And Gets Straight A's.

We Think She'll Have Lovely Children Someday.

Hello, Heathcliff.

Hi, Clair.

Please.

Miss Hall, It's Time

For The Prom Committee To Retire Upstairs.

No. The Prom Just Got Started.

I Think These Youngsters Would Like To Be Alone.

But We're Their Chaperones.

We Have To Make Sure That They Don't Smooch.

Heathcliff, I Notice That You Have A Corsage For Me.

Oh, Yes, I Do.

Aren't You Going To Pin It On?

I Thought You'd Never Ask.

Oh, Boy!

Please, Let Me.

Thank You.

(Laughing )

Okay.

Are They Fine?

Okay.

Are You Sure They're On Their Way Here, Mike?

I'm Not Upset With You.

Okay, Fine.

What Are You Laughing At?

Your Son.

Is He All Right?

Yes, He's All Right.

Your Son Rented A Helicopter.

Theo Gets In It

The Thing Starts Up And Blows All Their Hair...

The Guys Just Stand There.

Theo Flies Around And Takes His Half-Hour Lesson.

He Lands, They Get In The Car.

The Girls' Hair Is Full Of Dirt And Everything.

So Theo Says

"Let's Have Some Caviar."

They Don't Have Any Crackers.

Smitty Says, "Caviar Is Expensive

And It Should Stand Alone."

They Open The Thing Up, They Have Two Little Hits.

Your Son-- Not Mine-- Throws Up In The Car.

Oh, No!

My Man Mike Wants $50 For A Clean-Up Fee.

They Get To School

Everybody's Leaving The Prom.

The Girls Haven't Danced, They Haven't Done Anything

And They're On Their Way Here Now.

These Girls Arewarm!

How's Everything Going?

Would You Like To Stay?

We'll Have Our Prom Here.

I Sat At The Hairdresser For Four Hours

And My Parents Paid A Lot For This Dress.

We're Going To Enrico's.

But We Don't Have Money.

Well, We Know That.

My Father Gave Me Some.

My Father Gave Me Some, Too.

Cliff: Could You All

Hold One Second?

Come Here, Hometown.

Let Me Talk To You.

Wait One Second.

Mike Told Me What Happened.

I'm Making Out On My Date

Better Than You.

This Might Go Down As The Worst Prom In History.

Yeah, Okay, Let Me Fix This.

Here's The Keys To The Car.

I Want You To Take The Car.

Take The Young Ladies Wherever They Want To Go.

In The Meantime, What I Want You To Do Is Take...

This.

And...

If You Can Talk Your Way Into Taking Them For Something To Eat

That's Up To Whatever They Want To Do.

Thanks, Dad.

Thanks, Dad!

All Right.

Work Hard.

Fellas, Fellas, We've Got A New Life Here.

Got The Keys To The Good Car, Got A Pocket Full Of Money.

Let's Go.

Please!

I Have A Lot Of Things Inside Of Me

That I Want To Say To You

But I Cannot Say Them In This House.

Thank You, And Good Night, Dr. And Mrs. Huxtable.

I've Been Here Before.

Pardon Me, But We Still Have A Prom

That We Are Taking Care Of.

♪ Your Troubles I'll Share ♪

♪ Let Me Know And I'll Be There ♪

♪ I'll Take Care Of You Anyplace And Anywhere ♪

♪ Shake A Hand, Shake A Hand ♪

♪ Shake A Hand, Shake A Hand ♪

♪ Shake A Hand, Shake A Hand ♪

♪ Shake A Hand If You Can ♪

♪ Be Truthful To Me... ♪