Original subtitles

Ooh, What A Day, What A Day.

Hmm?

Mmm.

Hmm.

Mom?

Yes, Sweetheart.

Can I Borrow Your Stapler?

What Do You Need It For?

I Want To Staple These Pages.

I Wrote A Story.

Okay.

Want To Hear It?

Sure, I'm Always Up For A Good Story.

Okay.

Come On.

Where Are We Going?

Apart.

Oh.

Okay.

Now, You Have To Pay Attention.

Right.

And Don't Talk Until I'm Finished.

You Got It. We Won't Say A Thing.

You Can...

Hmm?

You Can Hold That.

All Right.

I'm Holding It.

Oh, Wrong Side, Sorry.

Oh, It's Beautiful.

Thank You.

Okay, The Title Is

"A Story By Rudy Huxtable."

Uh-Huh.

"Once Upon A Time, There Was A Happy Land.

"It Was A Very Beautiful Place

"With Many Beautiful Things To Look At.

Everybody Who Lived In This Land..."

Hi.

Hi.

Go Ahead, I'm Listening.

You're Supposed To Be Awake.

I'm Awake.

I Heard Everything.

What Did I Say?

"Once Upon A Time

"There Was A Frog.

"He Kissed A Princess Who Turned Into An Ape.

And They Lived Happily Ever After."

You Weren't Listening.

Read On.

Start From The Top.

"Once Upon A Time..."

Once Upon A Time!

"There Was A Happy Land..."

Happy!

"It Was A Very Beautiful Place"

With Many Beautiful Things To Look At.

Everybody Who Lived In This Land

Was Happy All Day Long.

The Leader Was A Wise Man, Named Mr. Mayor.

Oh, What A Lovely Day.

Actually, It's Always A Lovely Day In This Happy Land.

There Was Also A Farm.

It Belonged To Mr. And Mrs. Farmer.

They Grew A Special Food That Everyone Loved To Eat.

It Was Called Flooberoo.

My, What A Great Flooberoo Harvest We've Had.

There Are Flooberoos As Far As The Eye Can See.

Honey?

We've Been Working Hard All Day.

I Think We Deserve A Flooberoo Break.

You're Right.

Ummmm! Ummmm!

Delicious! Delicious!

There Was Also A Man Who Told People All The News.

The News Was Always Happy.

Now Listen All You People To What's Going Down.

Things Could Not Be Much Better In This Good-News Town.

So Come On, Party People, And Check It Out

To Find Out What The Good News Is All About.

Is All About.

Everyone In The Land Liked To Sing Songs.

The Song Leader Was A Beautiful Maiden.

♪ Tra La La La La ♪

♪ Tra La La La La ♪

♪ Tra La La La La La La La ♪

Oh, I Forgot.

There Was A Sweet

And Pretty Flower Girl Who Liked To Grow Flowers

And Give Them To Everyone.

Every Day There Was A Parade.

The Parade Was Led By The Town's Band Leader.

It Was A Small Parade.

But Everyone Liked It Just The Same.

In This Land, There Were Lots Of Toys For Everyone.

Each Day Mr. Mayor Handed Them Out

For All The People To Play.

School Was Never Inside.

It Was Always Outside.

There Was No Homework, And Between Lessons Everybody Sang.

All Right, Everyone.

Today We're Going To Sing The Official Song Of Our Land.

And...

Five, Six

Five, Six, Seven, Eight.

♪ It's A Beautiful Day ♪

♪ It's A Beautiful Day ♪

♪ And We're Happy To Say ♪

♪ And We're Happy To Say ♪

♪ Everyone In This Place Has A Smile On His Face ♪

( Humming )

♪ We Love Living Here ♪

♪ Yes, We Love Living Here ♪

♪ And We're Sorry You're There ♪

♪ So Sorry You're There ♪

♪'Cause If You Were With Us ♪

♪ We Know You'd Be Happy, Too ♪

♪ Be Happy, Too ♪

The People In This Land Liked Each Other Very Much.

But There Were Other People

In A Different Land Not Far Away

Who Didn't Like Them.

They Didn't Like Much Of Anything.

(Trumpet Fanfare )

Hey!

Hey, There You Are.

Announce Me, Or You're Fired.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

Announcing His Royal Kingness--

The Most Feared Man In The Land--

The Man Not To Mess With.

That's Better.

( Trumpet Fanfare )

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

Announcing Another Rotten Person...

The Duke Of Doom.

You Got It.

What Mean Things

Have You Planned For Us Today, Your Ugliness?

I Like Bossing People Around.

Let's Go To War.

Yeah, War.

Now You're Talking.

What People Should We War Against, Your Meanness?

I Can't Know Everything.

Get The Wizard.

Wizard, Cometh Forth!

Cometh Forth, Wizard.

Here Comes The Wizard.

(Coughing )

Greetings, Your Majesty!

So Tell Me

What Would You Have Me Conjure For You Today?

I Want A War.

You Find Somebody To Fight.

Well, Let Me Look In My Crystal Ball.

Don't Tell Me Less, Don't Tell Me More

Just Tell Me Who We Should Fight In War.

Wait A Second.

It's Kind Of Fuzzy In Here.

This Ball Must Have Been On The Radiator Too Long.

I Can't See Anything.

Off With Her Head!

Wait!

I See Something.

I See A Land Near Here Where Everyone Is Happy.

I Hate Happy People.

They Think They're Hot Stuff.

Happy People Are Not Too Bad.

Some Of My Best Friends Are Happy People.

Off With His Head!

Oh, No.

Well, Happy People Stink.

Actually, I Think We Should Waste Them.

Tell Me More, Wizard.

Their Land Is Across The Ocean And Past The Desert.

They Have Toys For Everyone, And They Like To Sing.

They Sound Like Wimps.

That Does It.

I Hereby Declare War!

War It Is, Your Highness

And Your Most Horrendous Attackedness.

First, Let's Sing Our Song.

♪ We Don't Like The Day ♪

♪ We Can't Stand The Night ♪

♪ We Really Hate To Play ♪

♪ We Only Like To Fight ♪

♪ And We'll Do It In Your Face ♪

♪ Crummy Day ♪

♪ We Can't Stand The Night ♪

♪ We Really Hate To Play ♪

♪ We Only Like To Fight ♪

♪ And We'll Do It In Your Face ♪

So They Sent The Duke Of Doom With A Message.

Farmer: Look!

In The Distance.

A Stranger.

Mayor: Let's Make Him Welcome.

I'll Give Him A Flower.

Hello.

Who Goes There?

I Am The Duke Of Doom, And Don't You Forget It.

Would You Like A Flooberoo?

Doom: No!

Song Leader: Nice To See You.

Why Have You Come?

Because You're In Big Trouble.

Read This.

What Does It Say?

It Says, "We Declare War On You.

"We Will Be Attacking At Noon Tomorrow.

Signed, The King Of Nasty."

Well, Isn't That Nice.

They Want To Have War With Us.

What Is War?

I Don't Know.

Mr. Mayor

You're The Wisest.

Do You Know What War Is?

I Know What A Door Is And A Store Is

But I Don't Know What A War Is.

That's All Right.

We'll Just Look It Up In The Dictionary.

"War: Open-Armed Conflict Between Two Parties."

Hmm?

Open-Arm Parties?

All Right.

Party Down, Open Arms!

How Do You Do That?

You Go Like This.

You Open Your Arms And You Par-Tay!

That Looks Like Lots Of Fun.

Mayor: Let's All Do It.

Yeah.

( Laughter )

This Is Going To Be A Great War.

( Laughter )

Tum Tum Tadum.

War Tum Halt Tum Halt.

Wizard, Do Some Magic

To Protect Us In Battle.

No Problem, Your Majesty.

Oh, Before We Fight On This Battlefield

Protect Us All With An Invisible Shield.

Ka-Zam!

It Is Done.

I Don't See Anything.

That's Because It's Invisible.

But Trust Me, We're Totally Protected.

Nothing Can Touch Us.

Ouch!

That Star Hurt!

Oh, I'm Sorry.

We're Supposed To Have A Shield.

You've Been Doing Magic All Day And Nothing's Been Working!

Here Comes Those Happy People.

Hi, There, Neighbors.

Ready For War?

We've Been Looking Forward To It All Day.

Let's Go To War.

All Right, War.

I've Never Seen A War Like This One.

What Should We Do?

Draw Your Swords.

We Don't Want To Fight If You're Using Those.

In The Name Of His Horrendousness

We Declare This Land Conquered.

Now This Land Is Ours.

So The Nasty People Took Over The Land.

Soon Everything Was Lousy.

After The War Ended, Things Got Bad Right Away.

Okay, Listen Up.

There's Going To Be Some Changes Around Here.

I'm Your New King.

Your Majesty

Why Don't You Let Me Change Them All Into Frogs?

You Can't Even Change A Dollar.

Your Majesty, Should I Read Them The New Rules Now?

Yes.

Ah-Ha-Ha.

"Having Lost The War

"You Are Henceforth Subject To Our Rules.

"They Are As Follows.

"Rule Number One:

"All Your Toys Are Now Our Toys

And You Can't Play With Them Ever Again."

That's Not Fair.

"Rule Number Two:

"From Now On

Farmers Will Only Be Allowed

To Grow Broccoli."

What About Our Flooberoos?

We'll Be Eating Those.

"Rule Number Three:

"Whenever You Pass One Of Us

"You Must Stop And Say:

'You Are A Fabulous Guy.'"

I Won't Stand For This.

As Mayor, I Protest The Treatment Of My People.

Why Don't You Let Me Imprison Him In My Crystal Ball?

Excellent.

Very Nasty Idea.

Oh, This Mayor Who Has Such Gall

It Is Time For Him To Fall.

Now In Front Of One And All, Put Him In My Crystal Ball.

What Happened?

Oh, No, Where's Our Mayor?

(Wicked Laughter )

Oh, No!

I Said "Ball," Not "Wall."

You're Pitiful.

And So The People Had To Live Under The New Laws

And Nobody Was Happy.

Okay, These Are All My Toys.

Thank You For Such A Lovely Gift.

"Gift"?

You're Making Me Give Them To You.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

You Watch Your Mouth, Sporty.

Let Me Ask You A Question.

You Took Our Toys.

What Is Everybody Supposed To Play With?

You Want To Play?

Yeah.

Play With Those Rocks.

( Wicked Laughter )

A Wonderful Idea, Your Grooviness.

You Guys Are Disgusting.

You Forgot Something.

What?

Rule Number Three.

Oh, Yeah, I Forgot.

You're A Fabulous Guy.

Thank You.

You're A Fabulous Guy.

Thank You.

I'm Going For A Walk.

All Right, Your Grooviness.

What Are You Doing?

Picking Flowers.

You're Not Allowed.

There's No Rule Against Picking Flowers.

Now There Is.

Rule Number 12: No Picking Flowers.

Hey, Aren't You Forgetting Something?

What?

Rule Number Three.

Tell Me I'm A Fabulous Guy.

Okay, You're A Fabulous Guy...

Bud.

( Quiet Singing )

Ah! These Toys Are Heavy.

Well, Song Leader

That's A Very Beautiful Dress You Have On.

Your Notes Are Looking Mighty Sharp.

I Cannot Say Good Morning You.

I Don't Speak To People

Who Conquer Us And Make Up Terrible Rules.

I Don't Make The Rules.

These Are The King's Rules.

If I Didn't Follow Them, I'd Lose My Job.

But You Don't Have To Follow Them.

If I Don't, He'll Fire Me

And Who's Going To Pay For My Condo?

So You're In This Just For The Money?

Well, No, Of Course There Are Other Benefits.

I Have A Wonderful Health And Dental Plan.

And Then There's Two Weeks Out Of The Year

That I Get To Go On Vacation And Cruise And Pillage.

And If You Played Your Cards Right

You Could Come Along And Pillage With Me.

I'd Rather Sit On A Cactus Plant.

We Could Do That, Too, If You'd Like.

(Dance Music )

So The People Had To Live By The Rules.

They Really Didn't Like It

But The People Who Took Over The Land Liked It A Lot.

They Had A Party Every Day.

How Do You Like That?

We Do All The Work, And All They Do Is Party.

Yeah, It's Not Fair.

It Looks Like A Stupid Party.

I Wouldn't Go In If You Paid Me.

Whoa, Check Her Out.

Don't Even Look At Her.

She's With Them.

Hey, I Think She Likes Me.

Don't Pay Any Attention To Her.

Ha-Ha. Catch You Later.

Wait A Minute.

You Can't Dance With Them.

They're The Enemy.

With Enemies Like That, Who Needs Friends?

I Remember When That Rainbow Had Many Colors.

It Will Have Colors Again.

I Don't Think So.

We'll Never Sing Our Songs Again.

We Will.

No, We Won't.

We'll Probably Eat Broccoli

For The Rest Of Our Lives.

What A Tragedy!

This Is Awful.

I Can't Imagine A Worse Thing Happening.

What?

The Town Crier

Has Gone Over To The Enemy.

He's There Now, Dancing.

This Is The End.

Don't Say That.

There's No Hope For Us.

We Can't Fight.

Their Weapons Are Too Strong.

I'll Be In This Wall Forever.

Mrs. Farmer: We'll Just Have To Get Used To The Way Things Are.

The Flower Girl Hated To See How Sad Everybody Was.

She Wanted Things To Be The Way They Used To Be.

So She Decided To Do Something About It.

Stop!

What?

I Said Stop.

And?

And What?

What Happened Next?

That's It. The End.

What Happened After The Flower Girl Said Stop?

Everyone Stopped.

Stopped What-- Stopped Dancing?

No, Stopped Everything--

Stopped The Rules And Stopped Being Mean.

Well, What About The Duke Of Doom?

Stopped.

And The Evil King?

Stopped.

And The Henchman?

Stopped, And The Wizard Stopped, Too.

But I Don't Understand.

Why Did Everyone Stop?

Because The Flower Girl Told Them To.

That Is A Very Interesting Story You've Written.

I Love What The Flower Girl Does In The End.

I'll Do That, Too, When I Become President.

You're Going To Become President?

Yes, President Of The World.

Ah.

I'll Get On The Bullhorn

And Tell All The Bad People To Stop It.

And I'll Tell Them

To Throw All Their Bombs And Guns In The Ocean

So There Will Be No More Fighting.

Stop It.

Stop It.

Newscaster #1: And 17 People Were Wounded In The Attack.

That's The Fourth Terrorist Action To Take Place In The Last Two Weeks.

The Military Government Announced That They Will Use Any Force Necessary...

Newscaster #2: Eight Separatist Rebels And One Soldier

Were Killed During A One-Hour Gun Battle Outside The Embassy

At Noon Today.

Newscaster #3: The Helicopter Was Strafing A Village

When It Was Shot Down By A Heat-Seeking Missile.

We Have Tape Of The Crash.

Rudy, You Better Hurry Up And Become President Of The World.

We Need You Right Now.

Please.

Newscaster #3: In Other News

The First 150 Megaton Nuclear Warhead

Was Tested Successfully At An Underground Sight Yesterday.