Original subtitles

♪ Strangers In The Night ♪

♪ Exchanging Glances ♪

♪ Lovers At First Sight ♪

♪ What Were The Chances ♪

♪ Da Da Da Da Da ♪

♪ Da Da Dee Da ♪

Rapping: ♪ Strangers In The Night 'Cause I'm A Stranger ♪

♪ Put Me On A Range, I Can Be The Lone Ranger ♪

♪ I'm Theo In The Place To Be ♪

♪ You Can Call Me T.H. Or Call Me H.T. ♪

I'm Theo... Whoa!

Oh, Ouch, Man!

What's The Matter?

Hey, You All Right?

Dad, I Was Taking A Shower

And This Tile Fell Off The Wall Into The Tub.

It Probably Heard You Rap And Wanted To Drown Itself.

Where's Your Toolbox?

I'll Glue It Back On.

There's A Right Way And A Wrong Way To Do That.

I Know The Right Way.

I'll Do It.

Hi, Theo.

Mom, We're In Trouble.

This Tile Fell Into The Tub.

Dad's Going To Get His Toolbox To Fix It.

Is It Just This One Tile?

Yeah.

It's Not A Problem Then.

That's The Kind Of Job He Can Handle.

We Let Him Do The Small Jobs.

He's Happy And Doesn't Tear Up The House.

Mom, This Is Why You're Mom.

So...

I Hear You're Going

To Fix A Tile.

That's Right.

You're Looking Mighty Cute In That Tool Belt.

I've Got One In Suede, Too.

Not Much Of A Challenge, But I'm Up To It.

Theo, I Want You To Pay Attention.

Sometime, You May Get Married

And Have To Do Something Like This.

Grab A Little Of The Glue.

Give It A Little Tap Here.

Tap, Tap, Tap, Tap.

Just Like They Do On Tv.

Make It Look Smooth Like That?

Put This In Like This.

And You Place This In Like So... Gently.

Give It A Little Firm Uhh.

Now Comes The Big One.

Pull Him On Out.

Look Out.

You Just Work It Nicely.

Don't Worry About Anything.

Just Like They Do On Tv.

Wait A Minute, Just Push That Back Up.

And We Don't Panic.

If Something Falls Out, We Just Go Ahead And Do That.

Come Over This Way And Put That Back Like That.

You See How Smooth That Is, Son?

We Reach Over And We Grab This.

Smooth It Right On Out.

Don't Worry About Anything.

Just Like They Do On Tv.

Just Don't Worry.

And You Knock It In, See?

It's All Set.

You Know What The Problem Is Here?

I'm Going To Tell You Exactly What The Problem Is.

There Is A Leaky Pipe Back Here.

That's What's Causing All Of This.

What I'm Going To Have To Do Is Bust Through Here

To Get Back To The Leaky Pipe.

You're Not Thinking Of Doing That By Yourself?

No, I'll Get Theo To Help Me.

All I Have...

I Need Theo's Help In The Kitchen.

I'll Do It Myself.

All Right.

I May Have To Get My Suede Belt For This One.

Did You Hear What He Said?

He's Going Into The Wall.

He's Never Gone Into A Wall Before.

We Must Stop Him Before He Tears This House Down.

You Never Know, Mom.

Maybe Dad Can Do The Job.

We Better Stop Him.

Thank You.

This Is What We're Going To Do.

We'll Get The Plumbers.

Go Down To Your Father's Office.

Call Everybody On The List.

How Do I Know Who's Any Good?

Call Everybody On The List.

Hello, Apex Plumbers?

Could You Please Come Over And Stop My Husband?

This Is An Emergency.

How Much Are They Paying You?

I'll Pay You Double.

This Is Taking Too Much Time.

I'll Call You Back.

Hey.

How's It Going?

Everything's Going Fine.

I'm Just Trying To Remember Where I Put My Sledgehammer.

Sledgehammer?

Yeah.

It's At Jeffrey Engels' House.

Jeffrey Engels Went On Vacation.

No, He Didn't.

I Saw Him Picking Up A Newspaper Today.

I'll Be Back.

And Then, Whammo!

( Ring )

Yes, Plumber?

Oh, Sondra.

Honey, I'm Sorry.

I Can't Talk Now.

We Have A Family Crisis.

Your Father Is Getting Ready To Go Into The Wall.

It's A Plumbing Problem, Sondra.

It's A Leak.

Yes, Dear, I...

I Know That, Sondra.

Darlin', This Is Not The Time For Wilderness Psychology.

What I Need Is A Plumber.

Friends Of Yours?

Are They Reliable?

Give Me The Number.

I'm Sorry, Sondra.

I'm Warning You.

My Dad May Not Be Too Receptive To You.

But For The Rest Of Us, Thank You.

We Haven't Done Anything Yet.

Yes, You Have.

You're Here.

These Are The Three Professionals

Who Have Come To Do The Work.

Hi, I'm Jennifer.

Andy.

I'm Ted.

We're "The Home Healers."

You're Professionals?

That's Right.

We're Friends Of Sondra And Elvin's.

We Graduated With Them.

From Princeton?

Yes.

I Didn't Know

Princeton Had A Plumbing Major.

What Was Your Major?

Art History.

And What Do You Do?

Welding And Fixture Installation.

What Was Your Major?

I Majored In Psychology, Minored In Anthropology.

I Do The Plumbing.

I Have A Masters Degree In Electrical Engineering.

At Least You Do The Electrical Work?

No, I Do The Plastering.

I Guess You'd Like To Get Started.

I'll Show You.

Okay, Great.

I Like These People, Cliff.

Let's Tell Them To Get Started Right Away.

Okay, But If They Mess Up, I Want You To Give Me

The Opportunity To Go Behind Them And Do It Right.

Okay.

May I Have My Sledgehammer Back?

No, This Stays With Me.

Hi.

Hi.

Do You Mind If I Watch?

No, Not At All.

All Right.

I Cut Out That Bad Pipe.

I'm Replacing It.

Couldn't You Stop The Leak With A Clamp?

That Would Stop It Temporarily.

This New Pipe Is Much Better.

Yeah, That's What I Would Have Done.

I Just Have To Put This Elbow On The Pipe.

That Doesn't Look Easy.

It Looks Like A Two-Man Job To Me.

It Could Be A Two-Man Job

But It Also Could Be A One-Woman Job.

I Hear You.

You Know, I Could Use An Assistant.

Really, Well I Can Go Get My Stuff Right Away.

Great.

Be Right Back.

Rudy... Please.

Thank You.

Stop!

Stop What?

I'm Just Drinking My Milk.

No, You're Not.

You're Trying To Bother Me.

No, I'm Not.

It's Your Imagination.

Rudy, You Have Been Pestering Me All Day.

Now I Want You To Stop.

But I'm Bored.

Of Course You're Bored.

You're A Boring Person.

Why Don't You Try To Develop Some Interests?

Read A Good Book.

Do Artwork.

Go To A Museum.

Look At Me.

I'm A Well-Rounded Person.

Yeah, But You're A Frog Face.

I'm Not Even Going To Dignify That With A Reply.

Okay, You're Going To Get It!

Dad!

Dad, Vanessa Just Threatened Me

And I Wasn't Doing Anything.

Listen To Me!

I Came Down Here To Get My Pipe Wrench

Because I Am Needed Upstairs.

Whatever It Is You All Are Doing To Make Each Other Angry

Stop It.

Yes, Dad.

I Have Work To Do.

Back!

I Like Your Belt.

Yeah, I Got One In Suede, Too.

What Should I Do?

I'm Finished.

It Was A Lot Easier Than I Thought.

I'm Going To Clean Up Now.

Andy's Coming To Put In New Fixtures.

Fixtures?

I'm Good At Fixtures.

Ask Him If He Needs Your Help.

Yeah, All Right.

Fixtures, Jack.

Do Up Some Fixtures.

All Right.

So...

You Were Friends With Sondra At Princeton.

We Were In Some Psychology Classes Together.

Yes, Yes, Sondra Majored In Psychology

And Just Like You

She's Not Doing Anything In Psychology, Either.

Yup, And I Think We Both Made Smart Decisions.

But Don't You Think That It's Strange That You Would Enter

A Presitigious College, Not To Mention, An Expensive One

And That You Would Study In A Field That Is Rewarding

Yet You Threw It Away?

I Didn't Throw It Away.

I Just Decided To Become A Plumber, Not A Psychologist.

I Don't Believe That A Person

Can Find Fulfillment In Life

If They Focus On One Field Of Study.

I Wanted To Be A Doctor, And I Am Still A Doctor.

My Wife Wanted To Be A Lawyer, And She's Still A Lawyer.

And We Feel Fulfilled...

I Know Some People Who Didn't Go With Their Fields

And They Did Okay.

Like Who?

Like Gandhi.

Gandhi?

Gandhi Studied Law.

Gauguin, He Was A Banker Before He Was A Painter.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, He Was A Doctor

Before He Wrote Sherlock Holmes.

All Those People Are Dead.

All Right.

What About Shirley Chisholm?

What About Shirley Chisholm?

She Got A Master's In Elementary Education

And Then She Became A Congresswoman.

And Even You.

You Became A Doctor

And I See That There Is This Plumber In You

That Just Wants To Get Out.

Well...

If I Decided

To Quit My Practice, Would You Hire Me?

No.

I Have Seen Your Work.

I Want To Know Why You Can't Fix That Shower Head.

Dr. Huxtable, It's 18 Years Old.

I Know That.

I Put It In Myself.

I Know.

You Did A Great Job.

Shower Heads Have Come A Long Way Since This One.

I Can Give You One That Has Five Spray Settings.

I'll Show You When I Bring The Pipe In.

What Else Do You Have?

We Have Everything.

Really?

I'm Talking Pipes

Torches, Portable Pumps...

I Even Have A Three-Speed Pneumatic Drill.

Can I See The Drill?

You Want To See The Drill?

Yeah.

Let's Go.

Are You Going Somewhere?

Yes, I'm Going To Janet's.

Can I Come?

After What You Put Me Through Today?

No Way.

Come On, Please?

Get Out Of Here!

When I Get Married

I'm Not Going To Name My Children After You.

I Don't Care.

I Wouldn't Even Name My Dog After You.

I Wouldn't Name My Children Or My Dog After You

Because Rudy Is A Silly Name.

If A Dog Looked At You, It Would Run

Because You're A Frog Face.

Okay, That's It.

What...

Daddy's Not Here To Protect You.

Come On, Stop It.

You Deserve This.

Vanessa, Stop It!

Daddy, Look What Vanessa Did To Me.

She's Been Pestering Me All Day.

Untie Your Sister.

( Phone Ringing )

Cliff: Hello?

Yeah.

How Far Apart Are They?

Okay, I'm On My Way.

Daddy, Vanessa Hit Me.

Stop, Stop.

Go Read A Book.

Yeah, I'll Be Right There.

( Dance Music )

Oh, Hi.

How Are You?

Georgette: Hi, Doctor.

How Are You?

Ladies, Here Are Your Sandwiches.

Oh, Thanks.

Thanks.

Ladies, I'll Be Right Back.

Where's Your Pants?

I Know What You're Thinking

But That's Not What's Going On.

I Knew While You're Away, You Want Someone To Supervise.

So I Turned On Some Music, Made Some Sandwiches

And They're Doing A Beautiful Job.

I Thought Ted Was Supposed To Be Doing The Plastering.

No, Ted's Doing The Tiles.

Nina And Georgette Do The Plastering.

Well, I'm Going To Go Back In The Bathroom

And Finish Supervising.

I Think You Need To Supervise Putting Your Pants On

And Supervise Yourself Going To The Library.

Well!

Oh, Hi.

Sorry We Took That Extra Day.

We Wanted To Make Sure We Got It Right.

It Is Very Clean.

Thank You.

Have A Closer Look.

I Want You To Make Sure You Got What You Wanted.

Yes, I Think You've Done A Fine Job.

Thank You, Mrs. Huxtable.

Time For The Unpleasant Part Of The Job.

I Have To Give You Your Bill.

If It's Unpleasant, Why Give It To Us?

That's A Good One, Dr. Huxtable.

Listen, You Two Look It Over.

If You Have Any Questions, I'll Be Downstairs.

Thank You.

Thank You Very Much.

Ohh...

Mm-Hmm.

How Much Did They Pad It?

It's Not The Price They Quoted.

They Ran It Up.

It's 20% Under The Estimate.

Now Would Be A Good Time For You To Go Downstairs

And Apologize To These Young People.

For What?

You Were On Their Cases

Since They Walked In.

You Doubted Their Ability.

You Stood Over Them

Breathing Down Their Necks While They Worked--

Pestering Them About Throwing Their Educations Away.

I Was Checking Our Work, And It's Good.

All Right!

How's It Look Up There?

We Are Very Satisfied.

While I Write The Check, My Husband Has Something To Say.

No, I Don't.

I Want To Thank All Of You, Really.

The Job Is Beautiful.

I Apologize.

You Didn't Have To Say That.

Yes, I Did.

Here You Are, Paid In Full.

Thank You.

We Should Get Going; We Got Another Job To Do.

If You Ever Need Us Again, Please Call.

Enjoy That Shower Head.

Yes, Sir!

Bye.

Good-Bye, And Thank You.

I Am Very Proud Of You.

Did You See Their Little Faces When They Left?

Especially When They Got The Money.

Now...

Can I Have My Sledgehammer Back?

If You Can Find It.

Well, You Know Where I'm Going To Look.