Original subtitles

They Beat Up On Us Bad.

46 To 18.

Man, Humiliation.

We Are Lucky To Walk Out With Our Sneakers.

Let's Not Let Down On Ourselves.

It's Just Gym Class.

George, Let Me Ask You One Question.

How Come A Tall Guy Is Lousy In Basketball?

Being Tall And Black Doesn't Mean You're Great At Basketball.

You Better Believe It.

People Look At You And Figure You Can Play, Right?

Right.

Tall, Black, Slam Dunk!

So Go Out And Dunk.

That Hurts, Guys.

It's Getting Late.

We Promised Jake We'd Visit Him

At The Hospital Before 5:00.

Yeah, Let's Hurry Up And Take A Shower.

Make Sure You Save Some Hot Water.

I Can't Make It.

Why Not?

I Really Should Study

For That Chem. Test.

You're Going To Study On Friday Afternoon?

Yeah.

You Can't Let A Test

Interfere With Seeing Your Buddy.

I'll Go Next Time.

Forget About Next Time, Theo.

Let's Go, Man.

I Can't.

What's Your Problem?

Cancer Isn't Contagious,

My Dad's A Doctor, So I Know Cancer Isn't Contagious.

So, Come.

Can I Be Honest With You?

Sure.

The Idea Of Having A Friend With Cancer

Is Depressing.

Richard Saw Him Yesterday And Said He Looks Okay.

No Tubes.

It's Not That.

Jake Is In A Hospital Bed With Cancer.

What Do You Say?

Don't Say Anything.

You Could Stand There And Look Depressed.

I Don't Know.

If You Were Sick, Wouldn't You Want Company?

No.

You're Lying, Man.

Let's Go Shower.

Theo, Think About Going To The Hospital.

Jake Wants To See You.

Cliff?

♪ Yeah, What You Gonna Do, What You Gonna Say? ♪

Hi, Dear.

What Are You Doing?

I Have Three Babies To Deliver Tonight.

I Need To Eat Some Dinner.

I Need Some Nourishment.

Just Made Myself Something To Eat There.

What Have We Here?

We Have Carrots.

We Have The Grain Bread, See.

Healthy, Oh So!

Not Only "Oh So," But In Here I Have Lettuce.

Three-Leaf Lettuce Going All Over The Place.

Just With A Touch Of Lemon, No Oil Or Anything Like That.

That's A Lot Of Lettuce.

Can You Eat That?

Oh, Yes, Yes, Yes.

My Body Loves The Roughage.

It Just Goes Along, Roughage, Roughage, Roughage.

It Says, "Look Out, Colon."

You Never Eat That Much Lettuce.

Yes, Well... Yeah, Carrots.

Let Me See.

But Dear, You Don't Need To See The Thing.

I'll Open It Up For You.

There It Is-- Lettuce, All Right!

Two Pieces Of Apple Pie In The Lettuce, Cliff?

That's An Apple Pie Salad.

Hi, Rudy. Hi, Kenny.

Elvin!

Where's Sondra?

She Went To Boston.

Did You Get A Divorce?

No, She And Her College Friends Are Having A Reunion Up There.

You Gave Her Permission?

She Doesn't Need His Permission.

If She Was A Good Wife, She Would.

Sondra Is A Good Wife.

We Respect Each Other And Give Each Other Freedom.

If She Wants To Do Something, She Does It.

You Need To Talk With My Brother.

Why?

He Says The Man Wears The Pants In The Family.

Otherwise, His Wife Walks All Over Him.

Really?

Sondra And I Are Not Like That.

She's Up There Having Fun And I'm Having Fun Here.

Are You Lonely?

Why Do You Ask That?

Because You're Sitting Here Talking To Two Children.

I'm Going To Talk To Mom And Dad.

Are They Home?

Yeah, They're In The Kitchen.

Rudy, Tell Me Something.

Speaking As A Woman

If You Were Married, Would You Go To Boston Alone?

I'm Not A Woman.

Yes, You Are.

Just Like I'm A Man.

You're No Man.

You're Bud.

If We Were Married, Would You Go To Boston?

I'm Not Going To Marry You.

You Would If I Told You To.

No, I Wouldn't.

You Have To Earn My Love.

A Man Doesn't Have To Earn Love.

A Woman Gives It Automatically.

Not This Woman.

Uh-Huh.

Guys, I Didn't Mean To Start Anything Here.

Two People Should Cherish

The Precious Moments They Have Together.

I Try, But This Woman's Like A Hurricane.

You Have A Banana, An Orange, A Pear And An Apple

And The Apple Skin For Roughage.

And This, My Love, Is Your Fruit Salad-Pie-Dessert.

Hi, Mom, Dad.

Hi, Elvin.

Has Sondra Called?

She Called Me Today.

They Are Having A Lobster Dinner As We Speak.

So What Have You Got Planned?

Oh, A Lot.

I'm Making The Most Of This Time.

So Far, I'm Having Fun.

Really?

I've Gone For Walks, Seen A Few Kung-Fu Movies

And Talked To My Buddies On The Phone... Guy Stuff.

So You're Not Lonely?

Me?

No, I'm Fine.

You Came Over To...

To Say "Hello." You Know, Happen To Be In The Neighborhood.

Will You Stay For Dinner?

No, There's A Great Coffee Shop Near Our Apartment.

I Ate There Last Night.

They Make A Great Salisbury Steak.

Salisbury Steak?

Salisbury Steak.

Yum-Yum.

Won't You Join Me Tonight?

Thank You, Elvin, No.

We're Eating Here.

But It's A Shame You're Not Joining Us.

Dr. Huxtable Is Going To The Hospital Tonight.

There's Going To Be An Empty Space At The Table.

Elvin, Don't Breathe On The Meat, Son.

Can I Help You?

Hi.

I Came To Visit Jake Palmer.

Right Over There In Room 238.

Right Over There?

Right Over There.

Here?

There.

You Can Go In If You Want.

Maybe I Shouldn't, He May Be Sleeping.

I Was Just In There, He's Awake.

Oh, Okay.

Can I Ask Your Professional Opinion?

Sure.

Is It Possible

That A Patient In A Certain Condition

Can Have Too Many Visitors?

Yes... But Not In Jake's Case.

Oh, Good.

Are You Going In, Or What?

Did You Say It Was Room 238?

Yes.

Just Double-Checking.

I Wouldn't Want To Walk In

And Surprise A Total Stranger.

That Would Be Embarrassing.

Right.

Just Take Your Time.

I'm Fine, Really.

Jake?

Jake?

Jake!

You Have A Visitor.

Theo Huxtable.

Alight! It's 'Bout Time! Tell Him To Come In.

He's Been Trying To For 20 Minutes.

He's... Hesitant.

I Heard He Had Cold Feet About Coming.

Can I Help?

No, I'll Make Him Feel Better.

Send Him In.

(Moaning ) Oohhh!

Oohhh!

Uh, Jake?

I Hear A Voice.

Who Is It?

It's Theo.

Theo Who?

Theo Huxtable.

From Homeroom.

Now I Remember You.

Theo, Come Closer.

I Want To Tell You Something.

Closer.

A Little Closer

Much Closer.

Kiss Me.

Kiss You?

Yes.

Kiss Me.

Are You Sure That's Going To Make You Feel Better?

No.

But This Will!

Aaahh!

Where You Been, You Creep?

I've Been Busy.

Busy Dodging Me.

Sorry I Didn't Come Down.

You Need Your Rest.

Who Needs Rest?

I Heard You Were Afraid To Face Me.

I'm Here, Aren't I?

Just What I Need, Another Guy.

I've Had Nothing But Guys Visiting.

What I Want Is Some Action.

Go Round Us Up Some Women.

All Right, Women.

Later, I Promise.

So... How You Feeling?

Aside From A Little Cancer, I'm Fine.

Oh.

It Bothers You To Hear That?

No, It Doesn't Bother Me To Hear You Talk About Your...

Your Illness.

The Illness Is Cancer.

Can't You Say It?

Sure I Can.

So Go Ahead.

Cancer!

All Right, Forget That.

Talk About Something Else.

All Right.

I'll Help You Out.

What Was Jill Troy Wearing In History Class Today?

She Had On A Yellow Sweater

She Was Wearing A Tweed Skirt

And I Think She Had Loafers On.

Not A News Report.

Tell Me How She Looked In The Sweater And Tweed Skirt.

She Looked Fine, I Guess.

Fine?

Are You Feeling All Right?

Jill Never Looked "Fine" In Her Life.

Even With Pneumonia, She Looked Unbelievable.

I'm Sorry.

I Was Just Making Conversation.

Stop Making Conversation And Talk To Me.

Pretend We're Not Here.

Pretend We're At Your House.

Okay.

Today At School...

We Ran Track.

How Come You Weren't There?

Hey, Man, I Was In Bed.

After School, I Went To The Mall.

Where Did You Go?

Are You Out Of Your Mind?

Hey, You Told Me To Pretend We're Not In A Hospital Room.

How Am I Supposed To Do That?

Okay, I'm Sorry.

Okay.

So, How's It Feel To Have The Big "C"?

The Big "C"?

Yeah, How's Your Cancer?

Hey, Can't You Be More Sensitive?

No.

Good, That's The Old Theo.

So What Did You Bring Me?

Who Says I Brought Something?

Everybody Who Visits A Hospital Brings Something.

All Right, I Managed To Sneak Something In.

What Is It?

I Went Down To Louie's

And Got You A #3 Sub.

Ah, My Favorite!

Salami, Provolone Cheese, Pepperoni And Pimento Loaf.

See, I Was Thinking About You.

Hey, Man!

There's Nothing On This Bread

But Some Onions And Lettuce.

All The Other Stuff Wasn't Good For You

So I Ate Them.

You Ate Them?

Yeah.

What's The Straw For?

I Had To Wash It Down With The Milk Shake

I Bought You.

Sick People 14, Well People 16.

Sick People Have The Ball.

No, No, No!

Sick People Are Feeling A Little Tired.

You Want To Relax?

Sick People Trick!

It's Up And In, Tie Score!

You Are Low.

Hey, I'm A Survivor.

You're The Lowest Survivor.

Hey, Fellas, How You Doing?

Hey, Dad. Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

Is This Some New Treatment I Don't Know Anything About?

We're Having A Little One-On-One.

Who's Your Doctor, Dr. J?

I Should Be Able To Do What I Want.

I'm A Dying Man.

Are You Dying Standing Up?

Get In That Bed.

You'll Be Around Long Enough

For Me To Deliver Your Children.

Hello, Elvin.

Hi, Mom.

I Finished The Dishes

So I'm Cleaning The Cupboard.

That's Very Nice Of You

But That Cupboard Was Cleaned Three Days Ago.

Cupboards Can Never Be Too Clean.

When I'm Done

I Thought I'd Take Off

The Wax Buildup On Your Floor.

I Have Wax Buildup?

Not Much.

Now's The Time To Nip It In The Bud.

Elvin, If You're Creating All This Work

To Make An Excuse To Stick Around

It's Not Necessary.

I Don't Need Excuses.

I've Got A Lot To Do.

Really? Like What?

Like What?

What Have You Got?

Well... Nothing, Nothing.

I've Got Nothing To Do, Absolutely Nothing.

Mom, I'm So Alone.

I Miss My Muffin.

I'm Lost.

She'll Be Back In A Couple Of Days.

I Don't Know.

Things Are So Bad

There's An Eight-Year-Old Boy Out There

Giving Me Advice.

Call Sondra And Tell Her

She Needs To Be Here With Her Man.

Honey, Why Don't You Call Her Yourself?

If She Knew How Miserable I Was, It Would Ruin Her Trip.

Why Don't You Stay The Night With Us?

You're Feeling Sorry For Me?

Yes.

I Don't Care.

I Accept.

Thank You, Mom.

Score Was Tied, Right?

Sick People Up By Four.

16 To 16, Pal, Come On.

Huxtable Has The Ball.

Coming Down The Court.

What Does He Do?

Time Out, Time Out.

Sick Person Time Out.

I'm Not Falling For That.

I Mean It, I'm Tired.

I'm Tired Of Your Lies.

I'm Not Kidding.

I Need A Break.

Guess You Do Look Kind Of Tired.

What Gets Me Is How Fast I Get Tired.

I Had The Flu Last Month, Knocked Me Out.

You're Comparing The Flu To Cancer?

I Had It For Four Days.

Since I've Had This Relapse

People Have Said Some Dumb Things

But What You Said Could Be The Dumbest, Donkey Breath.

Well, I'm Sorry.

Just Answer Me One Question.

Why Me?

Why Did I Have To Get Cancer?

Why Not The Guy Who Invented Chemistry Class?

You're Going To Make It, Man.

I'll Beat It So Bad, It Won't Know What Hit It.

I Just Wish I Wasn't Always Tired.

Are You Still Tired Now?

Yeah, Sort Of.

Well...

That's Too Bad!

Huxtable Wins, Unchallenged.

Vic-To-Ry!

Wait, Check This Out.

Elvin, Hurry Up.

The Movie's Starting.

Here It Is.

A Little Snack Before Our Movie Marathon.

All Right, Brother-In-Law.

Popcorn, Ice Cream, Soda.

What A Guy.

We Never Had It So Good.

I Hope Sondra Gets Snowed In.

Please, Don't Say That.

Where Did You Get Those Pajamas?

They're Like Dad's.

Your Mom Lent Me These.

They Don't Look Bad On You.

Thank You.

I Feel Like Your Dad In These.

Let Me See If I Can Walk Like Him.

Go, Elvin!

Do I Got It?

Yeah, Do More.

Okay.

Ha Ha!

Hey, Pud!

Now Don't Try To Tell Me What To Do

Because, You Know, I Paid For That Couch You're Sitting On.

You People Owe Me Eights Of Five Thousands Of Hundred Of Dollars.

He Says This, Too.

Ha Ha Ha!

I Am Your Father.

No, No, Let Me Say This.

I Am Your Father.

If It Was Not For Me

You Would Not Be Able To Pay For The Air You Are Breathing.

Why Don't You Two Go And Get A Job

And Get Out Of My House?

And Then

You Will See Me Do

Some Major Dancing On Your Face.