Original subtitles

Hi, Everybody.

Hi, Vanessa.

Hi, Elvin.

I Didn't Know You Were Coming.

It Was Beautiful Out.

I Thought I'd Take A Walk.

You Live Seven Miles Away.

A Married Man Can Take A Long Walk If He Likes.

Sondra Didn't Want To Come Along.

Sondra Likes To Walk.

Okay, We Had A Fight.

You Found Out.

When People Are Married, They're Going To Fight.

You And Dad Fight?

Oh, Yes, We Do.

And Over The Silliest Things.

Like When My Friend's Wife Died

And He Dated A Younger Woman.

I Want You To Know That If I Die

You Have My Permission To Marry Again.

I... I Have Your Permission?

Yes.

But You're Dead.

Find Someone Who Can Make You Happy

And Help Take Care

Of The Kids.

Thank You.

(Laughing)

Would You?

Would I What?

If I Die, Would You Remarry?

We'll Talk About It When It Happens.

We Can't Talk About It Then.

Okay.

No. The Answer Is No.

I Wouldn't.

Under No Circumstances, If I Die

Would You Marry Again?

You Would Be Single Forever.

Yes.

Would You Date Somebody?

No, I Wouldn't.

Okay, Cliff, I'm Dead.

I'm Gone.

And You're Still In The Bed With Me?

What If You Met A Gorgeous, International-Type Beauty?

Not Interested.

What If You Met A Woman

Who Could Sing Jazz?

Like Lena Horne?

And Can Scat.

Like Ella Fitzgerald?

You Say It.

Not My Type.

Well, What Is Your Type?

You.

Okay, Say You Met Me.

You're Dead.

There's Somebody Out There Just Like Me.

You're Dead?

Gone.

Okay, Now, You're Not Coming Back, Are You?

Cliff, I'm Serious.

You're Not Coming Back, Right?

I'm Not Coming Back.

Then I Meet This Woman Who Looks Exactly Like You.

Exactly.

And You're Dead?

Yes.

Oh, Boy.

Okay, Then What I Would Do Is

I Would Call Her Up

And Ask Her If She Would Go Out On A Date.

Then I'd Court Her And Send Her Flowers And Call Her

And Introduce Her To The Children

And Then I Would Marry Her

And Bring Her In Here.

Would You Keep My Picture Up?

Dear, I Don't Have To Keep Your Picture Up

Because She Looks Exactly Like You.

Good Night, Cliff.

You Need Some Sleep.

That's What I Love About Our Discussions.

They're So Intellectual.

The Part I Like

Is Making Up Afterwards.

(Slow Jazz)

It's Amazing You're Still So Romantic

After 23 Years Of Marriage.

It Isn't The 23 Years That Makes It Amazing.

It's The Five Children.

If You're Going To Have Five Children

You Better Have A Whole Lot Of Stamina.

Let Go Of My Hair, Vanessa!

Let Go!

What's Going On?

Fight! Fight!

Let Go!

Stop, Stop, Stop.

Hey!

Stop, No, Come On.

Stop, Look, The Two Of You...

Daddy, I'm Getting Hot.

I Know You're Getting Hot.

Dad's Taking Off The Clothes

As Fast As He Can.

Okay, Here We Go.

Dad, Can I Get Down?

Dad.

Daddy!

Cliff.

I Didn't Know They Were Hooked To Her, Dear.

Okay, Got The Bucking Horse.

We Have The Championship.

We're In The Last Round.

Here Comes Our Challenger:

Rudy Huxtable

Didn't Do Well The First Two Times Up

But I Know This Time She Will.

You Know The Rules.

Arms Sideways.

All Right, We're Riding.

Arms To The Side.

You're Just Falling Off.

There She Goes.

She's Doing It

And The Horse...

Stay On!

That Was 12 Seconds.

...Going To Ride Good.

And The Bucking--

Oh, Look At Maria Go!

It's Always Interesting.

And She's Doing A--

She's Got The Prize!

Ladies And Gentlemen, There You Go!

There We Go.

You Go Man The Door.

Cliff: All Right.

Hit It!

Ahh!

We Need That Record To Study.

They Won't Throw Them At Dad.

Cockroach: Please, Dr. Huxtable.

Step Out Of The Way.

This Is Dr. Huxtable!

I Delivered Some Of You!

I'm A Parent

And A Taxpayer

And I'm Probably The Only Adult Who Will Sue Little Children!

All Right!

Thanks, Dad.

We Were Laughing With You

Not At You.

Yeah, Liar.

Cliff: Elvin

If You're Going To Become A Parent

It Takes More Than Physical Stamina.

You Need Mental Stamina.

What Kind Of Germs Do I Have?

Oh, Yeah, Well, See, You Have The...

You Have The Triptopenna Permasites.

Tripto Permasats?

See The Trips, As They Like To Call Themselves

They Hang Around Water Fountains And Glasses

And They Just Keep Saying

"Where's The Party?

"I Love To Party.

"I Just Love To Just Get Inside Of A Young Body And Just...

Hmm-Mmm-Mmm, Party."

Why Me?

Well, They Chose You

Because You're Young And You're Cute.

And They Go Inside Your Body And They Say

"Hmm, It's A Lovely Place To Party."

And They Start Moving Around All Fast--

"Mmm, This Is A Hot Party."

And They Bump Into The Corpuscles

And Boogie Down With Them.

"Party, Party, Party.

Party, Party, Party."

Mommy Does An Airplane.

You Want A Single-Engine Or A Jet?

Single-Engine.

Okay. Coming Up.

(Airplane Noise)

Open Up. Open Up.

(Airplane Noise)

There You Go.

Oh, Boy, Huh?

Oh, Looks Good.

Thank You, Daddy.

You're Welcome, Dear.

(Gargling)

(Gargling)

No More Partying In There.

You'll Never Get Into College

With These Grades.

No Problem.

See, I'm Not Going To College.

Damn Right.

I'm Going To Finish High School

Then Get A Job Like Regular People.

Regular People?

Work In The Gas Station, Drive A Bus--

Something Like That.

What You're Saying Is

Your Mother And I Shouldn't Care If You Get "Ds"

Because You Don't Need Good Grades To Be Regular People.

Right.

Okay.

Uh...

Suppose You Graduate From High School--

Let's Say You Just Slide By.

Now, You've Got To Find A Job.

Now, What Kind Of Salary Do You Expect For A Regular Person?

Mmm, $25o A Week.

$25o A Week?

Yeah.

Sit Down.

I'm Going To Give You $300 A Week.

Yes, Indeed, $300 A Week

$1,200 A Month.

All Right?

I'll Take It.

Yes, You Will.

And I Will Take $35o For Taxes.

Whoa!

Yeah, Because, See, The Government Comes

For The Regular People First.

Now, How Much Does That Leave You With?

$850.

All Right.

Now, You've Got To Have An Apartment

Because You Are Not Going To Live Here.

So, An Apartment In Manhattan

Will Run You At Least $400 A Month.

I'll Live In New Jersey.

All Right.

Live In New Jersey

You've Got To Have A Car.

I'll Ride A Motorbike.

You Need A Helmet.

Figure $100 A Month For Clothes And Shoes.

Figure $200.

I Want To Look Good.

Okay, So What Does That Leave You With?

Two Hundred Dollars.

So, No Problem.

There Is A Problem.

You Haven't Eaten Yet!

I Can Get By On Baloney And Cereal.

So, I Got Everything I Need

Plus $200 Left For The Month.

You Plan To

Have A Girlfriend?

For Sure.

You're A Doctor.

Mom's A Lawyer.

You're Successful, And That's Great.

But Maybe I Was Born

To Be A Regular Person And Have A Regular Life.

If You Weren't A Doctor, I Wouldn't Love You Less

Because You're My Dad!

And So...

Instead Of Acting Disappointed

Because I'm Not Like You

Maybe You Can Just Accept Who I Am

And Love Me Anyway

Because I'm Your Son.

Theo.

That's The Dumbest Thing I've Ever Heard In My Life!

No Wonder You Get "Ds" In Everything!

You Are Afraid To Try

Because You're Afraid Your Brain Will Explode

And It Will Ooze Out Of Your Ears.

Now, I'm Telling You

You Are Going To Try As Hard As You Can

And You're Going To Do It Because I Said So!

I Am Your Father.

I Brought You In This World, And I'll Take You Out.

I've Really Enjoyed This.

Someday, If Sondra And I Have A Family

I Hope We Can Sit And Talk As Openly As You Do.

We've Always Encouraged Our Children To Tell Us

Anything And Everything.

Ohhhh.

Mmm!

Mmm...

Let's Just Remember

This Is How We Got The Children In The First Place.

Right.

Aw, Shoot!

(Knocking)

Who Is It?

No, No.

When I Say, "Who Is It?"

It Doesn't Mean For You To Come In.

When I Say, "Who Is It"

You Say Who It Is.

(Knocking)

Who Is It?

Who It Is.

You Must Be Sad That Only Three Of Your Children

Are Still Living At Home.

Your Children Grow Up And Go To College.

You Do Miss Them.

That's Why I'll Keep On Living Right Here.

No, Son, We Want To Experience The Joy Of Missing You.

Elvin.

Hi, Sondra.

After Our Fight, You're Here With My Family?

You Should Be With Your Parents.

I Went Over There, But Nobody Was Home.

Are You Still Angry With Me?

I Feel Pretty Good About Things Now.

You Do?

Every Married Couple Has A First Argument.

I Think Ours Was A Pretty Mild One.

The Fight's Over?

Of Course.

When The Huxtables Get Married

They Stay Married For A Long Time.

She's Right.

It Runs In The Family.

We Figure, After 49 Years Of Marriage

Perhaps The Two Of You Need A Little Romantic Inspiration.

Okay, Now, Here We Go.

(The Blues)

(Lip-Syncing:) ♪ You Know, The Nighttime, Now ♪

♪ Is The Right Time ♪

♪ To Be ♪

♪ With The One You Love, Now ♪

♪ And I Know, Baby ♪

♪ Well, Now, Come On, Baby, Now ♪

♪ I Want To Be ♪ With The One I Love, Now ♪

♪ You Know What I'm Thinking Of ♪

♪ I Know The Nighttime ♪

♪ Oh, Is The Right Time ♪

♪ To Be With The One You Love, Now ♪

♪ I Said, To Be With The One You Love ♪

♪ Oh, Sing Your Song! ♪

♪ Baby! ♪

♪ Baby! ♪

♪ Baby! ♪

♪ Whoa, Baby! ♪

♪ You Know I Love You! ♪

♪ No One Above You! ♪

♪ Hold Me Tight! ♪

♪ Make Everything All Right! ♪

♪ Because The Nighttime ♪

♪ Oh, Is The Right Time ♪

♪ To Be With The One You Love! ♪

♪ Oh, Yeah, Now! ♪

♪ I Say, Baby ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Whoa, Baby, Now! ♪

♪ Oh, Come On, Baby ♪

♪ I Want You By My Side ♪

♪ And I Want You To Keep ♪

♪ Oh, Keep Me Satisfied, Now ♪

♪ I Know The Nighttime ♪

♪ Every Day Is The Right Time ♪

♪ To Be With The One You Love, Now ♪

♪ Well, You Know I'm Right ♪

♪ Yeah, Yeah! ♪