Original subtitles

Clair...

It's Past 7:00 A.M., Dear.

So?

You Have To Go To Work.

I Quit.

You're A Partner In A Law Firm.

Hit It!

I'll Be A Silent Partner.

Clair, Look Outside-- The Sunshine!

Look At This!

Ta-Dah!

The Birds Are Saying

"Clair, It's Your Day!

"Let's Make A Nest!

Let's Eat A Worm!"

Uh-Uh.

Tonight Would Be

A Perfect Night For A Bar-Bee-Cue!

Cliff, No.

Come On, You'd Love A Bar-Bee-Cue.

Every Time You Barbecue, You Become A Man Possessed.

Any Food In The House Goes On The Grill:

Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, Tossed Salad, Macaroni

Strawberry Shortcake.

Nothing Enhances The Flavor Of Strawberry Shortcake

Like The Smoke Going Through It From The Barbecue.

How Could You Barbecue On A Day Like Today?

It Is November And Freezing Outside.

It Doesn't Make Any Difference.

Professor Foster Is Coming From Hillman.

He Won't Want A Barbecue.

Are You Kidding?

He Loves It.

Denise Is Coming, And We'll Barbecue Outside...

I'll Make A Bargain With You.

You Can Cook Outside

But We Have To Eat Inside The House.

Okay.

Can We Eat On Paper Plates?

Yes.

With Plastic Knives And Forks?

You Got It.

All Right!

Bar-Bee-Cuuue!

Bar-Bee-Cuuue!

Hey!

This Is Something I Like To See--

Open Books, Open Minds

And A Closed Refrigerator.

Hey, Dad.

Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

Walter, Want To Stay For Dinner?

Sure. I'll Call Home.

A Young Man Should Call His Parents For Permission.

He's Not Asking Permission.

He's Finding Out What They're Having.

If Our Dinner Sounds Better

He'll Eat Here.

Uh, Walter...

Just Let Me Say Three Words:

Bar-Bee-Cue!

I'm Eating Here.

I Hope We're Still Hungry After Studying This.

What?

Shakespeare.

You Took That Last Year.

We Did, But He Reappeared.

History Class.

Shakespeare's Part Of History.

Dad, It's Not Fair.

Is He Literature Or History?

He Can't Be Both.

We're Studying Ancient Rome.

We Have To Read About Julius Caesar.

The Teacher Gave Us A Choice--

A Thick Book By Plutarch Or Shakespeare's Julius Caesar

Which Is Much Thinner.

The Class Chose This.

They Didn't Know Shakespeare Is A Drag To Read.

Wait A Minute.

Julius Caesar Is Quite Interesting.

They Have Good Guys, Bad Guys...

And Isn't There A Car Chase?

I Wouldn't Know.

This Isn't Even Written In English.

Well, Brighten Up, Fellas

Because Tonight's Meal Will Take All Of Your Bad Thoughts Away.

What Are We Having?

I'm Going To Go Out.

I'm Going To Bar-Bee-Cue.

Then I'm Going To Make Something

That Goes Right Along With What You Guys Are Studying.

Caesar Salad.

Vanessa, Where's Mom?

She's In The Kitchen With Dr. Foster.

But Don't Bother Them.

They're Talking.

I Don't Know How To Spell "Forest".

I'll Tell You That. F-O-R-E-S-T.

Good. That's What I Have.

What Are You Writing?

A Fairy Tale.

Can I Read It?

No.

Why Not?

Whatever I Show You

You Say It Is Wrong.

Let Me Read It.

I'll Only Say Nice Things.

Okay...

But I Only Have Two Sentences

And They Took Forever.

Well, The First Sentences In A Story

Are The Most Important.

"The Beautiful Princess And The Dragon."

Good Title.

I'm Already Interested.

It Gets Better.

"Once Upon A Time

There Was A Beautiful Princess Named Rudy."

You're In It!

"She Lived In A Magic Forest

"Where There Was A Mean Dragon Named Va...

Vanessa?"

Are You Saying

You Think I'm A Dragon?

No.

Then Why Call It Vanessa?

I Couldn't Think Of Another Name.

Rudy, You're Not Making Me A Dragon.

I'll Write What I Want.

Show Me That

Before You Hand It In.

Maybe I Will...

Maybe I Won't.

Dr. Foster, I Have Married A Strange Bird.

What's He Doing?

It Is Thirty Degrees Out.

He's Standing Over The Barbecue Shivering

And Blowing In His Hands.

Let's Get Him Inside.

Are You Kidding?

Cliff Loves This Sort Of Thing.

The Wind Shifted And Blew The Smoke In His Face.

Arrrrgh!

Clair: How's It Going?

"How's It Going?"

It's Going Fine Is How It's Going.

It's A Perfect Night For A Barbecue.

You Look Up And See The Stars Twinkling.

Thirty Degrees, Huh?

I'm So Excited About The Barbecue

I Forgot How Cold It Was.

I'm Sure That Dr. Foster's Excited About It Also.

I'm Trembling With Anticipation.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Sweetie.

Hi, Dr. Foster.

Hello, Denise. How Are You?

Fine.

I Haven't Seen You.

You Know What Hillman's Like-- Busy, Busy, Busy.

Denise, You Should Take Dr. Foster's Class.

She Did.

She Did? She Did?

Uh-Huh.

We Didn't Know That.

She Was In Class For Only One Day.

One Day?

One Day?

Uh-Huh.

Students Often Drop My Class

After They See The Work Schedule.

You Mean A Certain Person

Who Will Remain Nameless, But Is In This Room

Dropped Out Of Your Class?

After She Saw

The Work Schedule.

Uh-Huh. Uh-Huh.

Dr. Foster's Class Meets So Early

I Was Afraid I'd Oversleep And Miss It

Because Of All My Late-Night Studying.

Uh-Huh.

( Doorbell )

I Think I'll Get That.

Stay In The Heat

While You're In The Kitchen.

There's A Rumor Around Campus

That You're Thinking Of Retiring.

I'm Considering It.

I Promise

I'll Stay Long Enough

For You To Take My Class.

Hey!

Hey, Dad!

This Is Jonathan Lawrence.

My Son, Heathcliff.

Hello, Sir.

Nice To Meet You.

Russell, Here's Your Dollar.

What's That For?

We Smelled Charcoal In The Air

So I Said, "Who Would Be Daft Enough To Barbecue

In Thirty-Degree Weather?"

Okay.

I Said, "Only My Son."

I Didn't Believe Him, So We Bet.

Give Me The Dollar And Stay For Dinner.

We're Having Dinner In The Village.

We're Going To The Blue Note To Hear Some Jazz.

Well, Dr. Foster Is In The Kitchen.

That's Smart--

Keeping A Doctor Around When You Barbecue

In Bad Weather.

No, This Is A Doctor Of Literature At Hillman.

Jonathan Teaches Drama At Columbia.

I Thought They Should Meet.

You're Kidding!

Please Stay For Dinner.

It's Fine With Me.

Jonathan?

I'll Accept.

Follow Me To The Kitchen!

If We're Staying For Dinner

I Should Go Out And Get Some Dessert.

You Don't Have To.

It's Already On The Barbecue.

This Is The Best Indoor Barbecue

I've Ever Had.

Thank You, Sir.

Not A Bad Meal

For A Dollar.

Dr. Lawrence, You Teach Acting?

Yes, Along With Theater History

And Directing.

Maybe I Should Become A Drama Major.

You Still Must Take My Course.

Is Everybody Ready For Dessert?

Count Me And Cockroach Out.

Why?

We Have Homework.

Wait.

You Guys Are Passing Up Dessert

To Do Your Homework?

We Have A Ton To Do.

Are You Showing Off Because There Are Professors Here?

Oh, No.

What Are You Studying?

Shakespeare. Shakespeare.

The Sonnets Or The Plays?

The Play, Julius Caesar.

How Far Are You Into The Play?

We're Up To Where Those Senators

Are Ready To Ambush Caesar.

Where Cassius Is Trying To Recruit Brutus

To Plot Against Caesar?

Yeah.

Well, That's A Marvelous Scene!

The Senators Are Applauding And Cheering Caesar

And Brutus Leans Over To Cassius And Says

"Another General Shout?

"I Do Believe That These Applauses

Are For Some New Honors That Are Heaped On Caesar."

Hit It, Hit It!

Well, Then Cassius Says To Brutus

"Why Man, He Doth Bestride The Narrow World

"Like A Colossus

"And We Petty Men Walk Under His Huge Legs

"And Peep About

"To Find Ourselves Dishonorable Graves.

"Men At Some Time Are Masters Of Their Fates.

"The Fault, Dear Brutus, Is Not In Our Stars

"But In Ourselves

That We Are Underlings."

"Brutus And Caesar

"What Should Be In That Caesar?

"Why Should That Name Be Sounded More Than Yours?

"Write Them Together, Yours Is As Fair A Name;

"Sound Them, It Doth Become The Mouth As Well

"Weigh Them

"It Is As Heavy.

"Conjure With Them

"Brutus Will Start A Spirit As Soon As Caesar.

"Now, In The Name Of All The Gods At Once

"Upon What Meat Doth This, Our Caesar, Feed...

That He Has Grown So Great?"

Vanessa: Yeah!

All Right.

All Right!

Yeah! Ha-Ha!

Dr. Lawrence, Do You Remember Other Speeches?

Well, Caesar Has A Speech

That I'm Particularly Fond Of.

Caesar Spots The Slim Cassius

One Of The Conspirators

And Says To His Friend Antonius

"Let Me Have Men About Me That Are Fat.

"Sleek-Headed Men, And Such As Sleep-A-Nights...

"Yond Cassius Has A Lean And Hungry Look.

"He Thinks Too Much.

"Such Men Are Dangerous."

"Fear Him Not, Caesar, He's Not Dangerous.

"He Is A Noble Roman, And Well-Given."

"Would He Were Fatter! But I Fear Him Not.

"Yet If My Name Were Liable To Fear

"I Do Not Know The Man I Should Avoid

"So Soon As That Spare Cassius.

"He Reads Much, He Is A Great Observer

"And He Looks Quite Through The Deeds Of Men.

"He Loves No Plays, As Thou Dost, Antony

"He Hears No Music.

"Seldom He Smiles...

"And Smiles In Such A Sort As If He Mocked Himself

"And Scorned His Spirit

"That Could Be Moved To Smile At Anything.

"Such Men As He Be Never At Heart's Ease

"Whilst They Behold A Greater Than Themselves

"Therefore Are They Very Dangerous.

"I Rather Tell Thee What Is To Be Feared

"Than What I Fear

For Always I Am Caesar."

Vanessa: All Right, Grandpa!

Yeah.

That's My Father.

Your Father Can't Do That.

Oh, I'm Very Impressed.

It's Easy When You Have Such Beautiful Language.

Shakespeare Was No Mean Writer.

I'm A Writer, Too.

You Are?

Yes.

I Wrote A Fairy Tale

And It's Good.

I Would Like To Read That.

Really?

Yes.

Let Us See

This Young Scribe's Work.

Young Rudith

Run Thither And Yon To Thy Roometh

And Get Thy Writings And Bring Them Downeth To The Meneth.

What?

Go To Your Room And Get The Script.

Theo: Grandpa, When Did You

Learn Shakespeare?

When I Was Traveling With The Jazz Caravan.

Here's My Story.

Dr. Lawrence: Aha!

Now, I Have Seen

Original Manuscripts By William Shakespeare

But I Want To Tell You

They Are Not As Neat As This.

Can You Read It Out Loud, Please?

It Would Be My Pleasure.

I'll Have To Seek The Assistance

Of My Fellow Thespians.

Would You Join Me?

I'll Be Happy To.

No, Cliff, They Don't Need You.

Woman, Go Hide Thyself.

Ladies And Gentlemen

We Would Like To Present The World Premiere

Of "The Beautiful Princess And The Dragon"

By Rudy Lillian Huxtable.

Yay! Yay! Yay!

Whoo!

Once Upon A Time

There Was A Beautiful Princess Named Rudy.

She Lived

In A Magic Forest

Where There Was A Dragon Named Bud.

No.

No, No, That's Bud.

Bud.

That's It.

Thank You.

The Dragon Liked To Walk Through The Forest

And He Would Say To Everyone

"I Am Bud--

"Meanest Dragon In The World.

"I Breath Fire.

I Eat Anything That Moves."

( Grunting )

He Was A Scary Dragon.

One Day, Princess Rudy Walked Up

To Her Flying Horse Named Theo

And Theo Said

( Whinnying )

"Princess Rudy

"You Are The Loveliest Princess In The Land.

Where Would You Like To Fly Today?"

Princess Rudy Said

"Let Us Fly To Canada."

And Just Then, Bud The Dragon--

Bud, The Dragon--

Jumped Out From Behind A Tree.

"Princess Rudy, If You Try To Leave The Forest

I'll Blow Fire On Your Horse And Eat Him Up."

Barbecue!

Theo Tried To Fly Away

But The Dragon Swallowed Him Whole.

( Whinnying )

Gulp, Gulp.

Princess Rudy Was Afraid.

She Ran Into A Cave Made Of Chocolate.

Bud Said

"Princess Rudy, Come Out Or I'll Eat The Cave."

Princess Rudy Yelled

"Leave Me Alone, Bud.

Go Eat Your Feet."

Bud Huffed And Puffed And Said

"I'd Rather Eat Your Feet."

Princess Rudy Ran And Opened The Back Door

But A Witch Was There Named Vanessa.

You Made Me A Witch?

How Could You?

You Said You Didn't Want To Be A Dragon.

I Don't Want To Be A Witch.

Let Them Finish.

So Vanessa Said

"I Am Not A Bad Witch.

I'm A Good Witch."

All Right.

"I Have A Magic Wand, And I Will Save You."

Then Vanessa Hit Bud On The Nose

With Her Magic Wand.

"Ow!"

And When Bud Opened His Mouth

Theo Flew Out.

The Dragon Ran Away.

Theo, Vanessa And Rudy Flew To Canada

And Lived Happily Ever After.

Denise: Yeah!

Whoo!

Denise: Bravo!

Bravo!

Denise: Bravo!

Bravo!

That Does It For Me.

I'm Done.

What Do You Mean?

What Did You Do?

We Had An Agreement.

You Were Cleaning

The Barbecue

And I Was Taking Care Of Everything Else.

All You Had To Do Was Throw The Paper Plates Away.

I'm Going To The Living Room To Watch An Old Movie.

What Old Movie?

Captain Blood With Errol Flynn.

But Captain Blood Is My Favorite Movie.

I Know.

I'll Tell You What.

I'll Leave Those Soaking

Because In The Morning When I Come Down

The Little Bubbles Will Have Eaten The Grease.

Like On The Commercials--

The Little Bubbles Go Eat The Grease.

I'll Watch The Movie With You.

And In The Morning

I'll Find That Nasty Thing Floating In The Grungy Water.

No, Thank You.

Okay.

You Know, I, Uh...

I Thought That A Marriage...

Was, Uh, Something That Was Sharing, You Know?

But, Um, It Seems Like That Isn't What It Is

So, I'll Just Go Back Here And Scrub These Up.

Do You Promise Me That You Will Wash That Thing

First Thing Tomorrow Morning?

First Thing In The Morning.

After The Bubbles Eat The Grease.

Okay, Let's Watch The Movie.

Wait, Wait, Wait!

This Is A Marriage.

We're Sharing.

This Is Marriage.

Sharing. Sharing.

Sharing. Marriage.

Hey.

How Was The Studying?

We're Done.

After What We Heard Tonight

Shakespeare Made Some Sense.

We've Made It Make More Sense.

How?

We Practiced Marc Antony's Speech--

"Friends, Romans, Countrymen."

Want To Hear?

Well, Go With On It.

( Imitating Trumpet )

( Rap Music )

♪ I Say Friends ♪

♪ Let Me Hold Your Ears ♪

♪ And Romans ♪

♪ Let Me Hold Your Ears ♪

Theo: ♪ Say Countrymen ♪

♪ I'm Marcus Antonius; They Call Me Marc ♪

♪ I Didn't Come To Bite, But To Bark ♪

♪ About The Holes ♪

♪ The Brothers Put In Julius C.-- ♪

♪ It Was Cool With Me ♪

♪ Brutus Knew What He Was Doin' ♪

♪ Caesar Was Running Rome To Ruin ♪

♪ 'Cause Brutus Is Cool ♪

♪ Caesar Romanized The World ♪

♪ And Put Bronze In The Palm ♪

♪ Of Every Boy And Girl ♪

♪ But When They Handed Him The Crown ♪

♪ He Turned The Crown Down ♪

♪ Brutus Said Caesar Was Into Greed ♪

♪ That's How He Justified ♪

♪ The Ides Of March Deed ♪

♪ But Brutus Is Cool ♪

♪ I Say Chill, Homeboy ♪

♪ My's Heart's With Dr. J. ♪

♪ Let's Get Busy Till It Comes This Way ♪

♪ Doc, Go Sing It ♪

♪ To The Bridge! ♪

♪ Pam, Pam, Pam, Pam, Pam ♪

♪ Doo Doo ♪

♪ Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo ♪

♪ Now The Last Little Caesar Scene ♪

♪ Before Homeboy Blew ♪

♪ Was To Drop Some Old Gold ♪

♪ On Each One Of You ♪

♪ J.C. Was Your Father ♪

♪ J.C. Was Your Brother ♪

♪ When Comes Such Another? ♪

♪ Great Caesar's Ghost ♪

♪ He's The Most ♪

♪ From Coast To Coast ♪

♪ Great Caesar's Ghost ♪

♪ Great Caesar's Ghost ♪

♪ Great Caesar's Ghost ♪

♪ Great Caesar's Ghost ♪

♪ Great Caesar's Ghost ♪