Original subtitles

Good-Bye, Old Water Heater.

They Just Said, "We Can't Fix Him Anymore."

Been With Us For 20 Years.

Gave Me And My Family Clean Dishes, Clean Clothes

Clean Children.

So Now You're Going To The Big Basement In The Sky.

Au Revoir.

Finally Getting Rid Of This Water Heater.

Yes, Yes.

I Can't Help It Anymore.

What Is The Bow For?

The Bow Is So That These Men Coming By Will Haul It Away.

What Is The Note For?

Read The Note.

Look At It.

"Dear Mr. Sanitation Man:

"I Put A Bow On My Water Heater To Make Your Day

"A Little Sweeter.

"Not Many Appreciate What You Do

"But I, For One, Am A Fan, True Blue.

Your Friend, Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable."

You Know They'll Haul This Away.

The Only Thing That Needs To Go In The Garbage Truck

Is Your Poem.

How About If I Put You Out On The Sidewalk

With A Bow Around You?

Nobody Will Take You Away.

Alfred...

I Remember The Red And Blue Days

When You Stood For Everything That I Love.

Mon Frere, Au Revoir.

( Humming "Taps")

Mom?

Yes, Honey.

I'm Wearing This

To Kelly's Party, Okay?

Okay, Bye.

Just A Minute, Rudy.

Yes, Mom?

Come Here, Please.

What For?

You Know, Just Last Month

We Put That Dress And All Your Summer Clothes In A Trunk.

It's Getting Too Cold For You To Wear Them.

Yesterday Was Hot.

Yesterday Was An Unusual Day.

Today It's 52 Degrees.

It Will Probably Get Hot Later.

No, The Weatherman Says It's Getting Colder

So Put That Dress Back In The Trunk.

But This Is My Favorite Dress.

Can't I Wear It, Please?

Mmm, I Want You To Dress Warm.

I Am Warm.

You're In The House.

If You Go Outside Dressed Like That

You'll Catch Cold.

I Don't Care.

I'm Sorry.

The Answer Is No.

I Want To Wear It.

I'm Sorry, Sweetie, You're Not Wearing It.

Yes, I Am.

Young Lady

Don't Talk Back.

"No" Is "No," Understand?

But Mommy, You're Making Me Feel Bad.

If You Don't Listen, You're Going To Feel Much Worse.

Take That Dress

Back To The Trunk

And Let's Not Discuss It Further.

I Have One More Question.

Yes, What Is It?

Can't I Wear My Dress To The Party This One Time, Please?

No. Upstairs-- Now.

But Mom...

One More Word

And You're Not Going Anywhere.

I Mean It.

Hello, Sanitation Department?

Yes, I'm From The Brooklyn Heights Area.

I'm Calling Again.

Are Any Of Your Trucks Broken Down?

They're Not?

Are They Running On Time?

Okay, Because I Left Two Bulk Items Out There.

Right, No More Than Four.

I Know That.

By The Way, I Know I Told You This Before

But I Voted For The Pay Raise.

And I'm Sorry You Didn't Get More.

Right, Okay.

You're Welcome.

Right.

What?

God Bless You, Too.

( Doorbell )

Yes, God Bless.

Ah, Roberto.

How Are You?

I Came Over To Study With Vanessa.

She's Not Here Right Now Because She Went Down To The Store.

I Know.

I Came Over An Hour Early.

So How's It Going?

Just Fine, Robert.

It's Going Good

With Me, Too.

Dr. Huxtable?

I'd Like To Talk

About My Love Life.

It's Not In Very Good Shape.

The Last Few Weeks

The Girls I've Liked Don't Like Me.

Robert?

I Really Don't Want To Hear This.

I Know.

It Upsets Me, Too.

I Think My Problem

Is I Go With My Feelings, But Girls Go With Theirs.

It's A Matter

Of Fusion Versus Fission.

Hey, Robert, Let Me Tell You...

Vanessa Should Be Coming Home Just About Now.

She's Carrying A Lot Of Bags, And She Could Use Some Help.

So I'd Like You To Sit On The Front Stoop

And Be On Point

So When She Comes, You Can Grab Those Packages

And Help Her.

Then We Can't Finish Our Talk.

What I'm Saying Is

That Because Of The Strength Of Our Relationship

You Can Be Sitting Out There

And Whatever You're Thinking Will Come In And Get Me.

I Hear You.

Downtown.

Downtown.

What It Is.

Rudy: Daddy?

Hey.

Is Mommy Back?

Not Yet, Hon.

I Want To Show You Something.

Okay.

Hi.

Hi.

Do You Think I Look Pretty In This Dress?

You Look Gorgeous In That Dress.

I'm Going To Kelly's Party.

You Think I Should Wear This?

Of Course You Should.

I Have Other Dresses.

Wear That One.

There's No Other Dress As Far As I'm Concerned.

You're Saying To Wear It?

Yes, Wear It Because I Said So.

I Said It's Beautiful, Okay?

I Love You.

I Love You, Too.

Hey, Dear.

Show...

Show Mom Your Dress.

Go On, Spin Around.

Look At This Dress She's Wearing To The Party Tonight.

Why Are You In That Dress?

I Told You Specifically

To Put That Dress In The Trunk.

You're Asking For It.

Daddy Told Me To Wear It.

Don't Try To Use Your Father Against Me

Because He Has No Idea

About Such Things.

I Want You

To Take That Dress Off.

I Want You To Put It In The Trunk

And Don't Defy Me Ever Again.

Do You Understand Me?

Yes, Mama.

All Right, Go.

Cliff, How Could You Look At That Dress

And Tell That Child

That She Could Wear It On A Day Like Today?

You Have Witnessed Three Daughters

Who Have Grown Up In Your House.

Were You Not Paying Attention?

I Paid Attention, But I Was Tricked.

I Didn't Know.

Why Didn't You Check With Me First?

Because I Don't Know All The Time To Check.

See, Just A Little While Ago, If I Would Have Checked

It Would Have Helped Me Not To Let Robert In Here.

But I Can't Check With The Checker

That Checks The Checker The Checker Checks.

I'm Sorry.

You're Right.

Thank You.

You Don't Have To Check With Anybody.

Thank You.

Except Me.

( No Audio )

Hey, Theo.

I Didn't Know You Were Here.

Vanessa And I Were Studying

But Now We're Going To The Mall.

Want To Come?

I'm Kind Of Into The Paper.

We Can Wait Until You Finish.

Then I'll Be Into Something Else.

But You Have Fun.

This Is Probably My Most Important Trip To The Mall.

I'm Interested In This Girl, Joyce Barnett.

Vanessa Invited Her To The Mall

So I Could Meet Her.

Vanessa's Fixing You Up?

Yeah, I've Lost My Confidence.

Every Girl I've Asked Out In The Past Three Weeks

Has Rejected Me.

That Must Be Rough.

You Ask A Lot.

Even When They Say Yes, It Never Works Out.

Twenty-Three Girls Have Broken Up With Me.

Twenty-Three?

How Do You Deal With All This Rejection?

Where Are You Storing All That Misery?

Don't Worry, I'm Not Letting It Build Up.

A Wise Man Once Said:

"Pain Is Like A Lighthouse--

"If You Allow It Into Your Heart

"It Will Guide You To Shore."

That's Deep.

Thank You.

Okay, I'm Ready.

You Look Fantastic.

Thank You.

I Mean That.

It's Impossible For You To Look Bad.

Maybe If Joyce And I Don't...

No, Robert.

We're Friends.

I Don't Want Dating To Ruin Our Friendship.

That's Why I'm Introducing You To Joyce Barnett.

And Robert, Maybe She's The Lighthouse

On The Shores Of The Seas Of Your Heart.

Can I Use That Some Day?

It's Yours.

Thanks.

Come On, Robert.

Okay.

Hi, Rudy. Hi.

Where Are You Going?

To The Mall.

Vanessa, You're Wearing That?

Yeah.

You Wore That This Summer.

So?

But Now It's Fall.

I'm Wearing A Jacket.

What Did Mom Say?

I Don't Need Mom's Permission.

She Tells Me

What To Wear.

That's Different.

Why?

Because You're Eight.

You Don't Know Enough Yet, So You Have To Be Told.

It's For Your Own Good.

See You Later.

Bye.

I Know Enough.

She Doesn't Know Anything.

She's Dumb.

Everybody's Dumb.

Hey, Rudy.

Aren't You Going To Say Hi?

No.

All Right, Fine.

If Anybody Needs Me, I'll Be At Lana's.

You're Wearing That?

Yeah.

You Picked Those Clothes Yourself, Didn't You?

Sure. Why?

It's Not Fair.

What?

You Can Wear Whatever You Want

And Do Whatever You Want.

I Can't Do Anything.

I Wasn't Always Allowed To Do Whatever I Want.

I Was Treated Like A Little Kid For Years.

But Now I'm 17.

My Senior Year In High School.

I'm Practically An Adult.

Plus, I Get Free Room And Board.

One Day You'll Have It Just As Good

But You Have To Wait Your Turn.

Hang In There.

It's Only Nine More Years.

Later.

( Musical Introduction )

Ray Charles: ♪ It's Not That Easy Being Green ♪

♪ Having To Spend Each Day The Color Of Leaves ♪

♪ When I Think It Could Be So Much Nicer ♪

♪ Being Red, Yellow Or Gold ♪

♪ Or Something Much More Colorful Like That ♪

♪ Lord, It's Not Easy Being Green ♪

♪ It Seems You Blend In ♪

♪ With So Many Other Ordinary Things ♪

♪ And People Tend To Pass You Over ♪

♪ Because You're Not Standing Out ♪

♪ Like Flashy Sparkles On The Water ♪

♪ Or Stars In The Sky ♪

♪ You Know Green Is The Color Of Spring ♪

♪ Yes, And Green Can Be Cool And Friendly Like ♪

♪ Oh, Green Can Be Big Like An Ocean ♪

♪ Or Important Like A Mountain ♪

♪ Or Tall Like A Tree ♪

♪ Yeah, When Green Is All There Is To Be ♪

♪ Well, It Could Make You Wonder Why ♪

♪ But Don't ♪

♪ Why Wonder, Why Wonder ♪

♪ I'm Green ♪

♪ And You're Doing Fine 'Cause It's Beautiful ♪

♪ And I Think It's What I Want To Be ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

( Garbage Truck Rumbling )

( Garbage Truck Pulling Away )

Hey, You Forgot The Water Heater!

Hey!

Hey!

The Water Heater!

Hi.

Hey.

You Look Sad.

They Wouldn't Take My Water Heater Away.

I'm Sorry.

What's The Matter With You?

I'm Little.

And When You're Little

You're Nothing.

So You're Nothing?

I Am A Big Nothing.

( Laughing )

If You're Nothing, Then I Can't See You.

And If I Can't See You

Then I Couldn't Do This. ( Giggling )

You See?

Huh?

And If You Were Nothing

You Wouldn't Be Laughing.

Ha Ha Ha.

Then I'll Stop.

This Is Depressing.

I Wonder What We Can Do To Make Life Better?

I Know.

What?

I Could Wear My Dress To The Party.

No, Ma'am, You're Not Pulling That One On Me Again.

No, Indeed.

Mom Got Pretty Upset With Me.

She Sure Did.

Why Are You Trying To Get Me In Trouble?

I Almost Got You Good.

Yeah, Because You're A Crook.

I'm Not A Crook.

You Are A Crook.

And You Don't Seem To Understand

That When You Trick Me Like That

Then I Have To Go Into The Room With Mom

And Mom Talks To Me All Night Long

"Why Didn't You Check With Me?"

And You're In Your Room...

( Snoring )

Next Time You Do That

You're Going In The Room With Mom

And I'm Sleeping In Your Bed.

I'm Sorry.

Good.

At Least You Get To Pick Out

Your Own Clothes.

I Have One Of The Greatest

All-Time Ideas.

What?

Get Up On This Step.

Jump On My Back, And I'll Tell You The Idea.

We're Going To Your Room To Pick Out Some Clothes.

Fall Clothes, Mind You.

Not Summer Or Spring Clothes

But Fall Clothes.

And Make Mom Happy.

Hi, Theo.

Hey.

So How Did It Go?

Well, I Met Joyce Barnett.

And?

We Hit It Off.

All Right.

And Then We Broke Up.

What?

It's True.

The Fastest Break-Up In History.

Robert.

Joyce Couldn't Handle The Commitment.

You Came On Too Strong.

I Introduced Them.

He Said, "Hello"

And Asked Her To The Senior Prom.

Robert, That's Three Years Away.

I Don't Have A Date Yet.

Just The People I Want To See.

Why?

Stay Right There.

Clair, Would You Come Out, Please?

Is Everything Okay?

It's Fine.

I Want You To See Something.

Watch This.

( Instrumental Music )

We Present The Rudy Huxtable Fall Ensemble

Created By The Internationally Famous House Of Rudith.

As You Can See

We Have The Blue Stockings

Which Are Playing Against The Turquoise Skirt.

And As She Is Patrolling There

We Have The Dinosaur

Which Is A Dironomous Sort Of Thing

Which Envelops Around The Black And The Purple.

And Our Model Has On

The Low, Low Moccasin Loafers

Which Are The Thing This Year.

And So With Our Ensemble

We Know That Miss Rudith Is Certainly Saying:

"I Am Autumn."

"I Am Love."

( Applause And Cheering )

Rudy, You Look Gorgeous.

Thank You.

May I Escort You To Your Party?

You May.

Then Shall We?

We Shall.

Mommy, I'm Sorry About What I Did.

You Were Right And I Was Wrong.

Apology Accepted.

But I Still Think I Look Better In The Other Dress.