Original subtitles

(Achoo!)

Cliff, What's The Matter?

I Have What You Have.

The Andalusian Flu?

Every Fiber Of My Body.

Oh, No.

You Cannot Be Sick.

You Can't.

I Can't?

No, I'm Not Well Yet.

Ah-Huh.

Tomorrow I'll Be Better And You Can Be Sick Then.

No, I'm Sorry.

My Teeth Hurt.

I'm Hot, I'm Cold.

This Is It.

It Gets Worse.

Why Did You Give Me This?

I Didn't Mean To Give It To You.

I Caught It From The Children, Who Probably Caught It

From One Of Those Little Sickly, Snotty-Nose Kids In School.

We Should Track That Kid Down And Shake Him.

Yeah.

Then We Should Find Out Where His Parents Live

And Sneeze On Them.

If They Have A Dog, We'll Sneeze On It.

Hey, Dad, I Found...

What's Wrong?

Your Father's Sick With The Andalusian Flu.

Whoa.

Forget The Next 36 Hours.

Don't Worry.

I'll Take Care Of You.

You Will?

Sure.

You Took Care Of Us Last Week.

You'll Watch Vanessa And Rudy?

Sure.

Who's Going To Watch You?

I'm 16. I Can Handle It.

Give Me A Chance.

Okay.

Cliff: Okay.

All Right.

Aren't You Taking Lana Herman To The Movies?

Oh, Yeah.

I'll Have To Tell Her We Can't Go.

If You Need Anything, Just Let Me Know.

He's Giving Up

Going Out With Lana Herman To Look After His Parents?

What A Lovely Boy.

You Know, There Is A Positive Side To All Of This.

What's That?

You And I Can Spend

The Day Together In Bed.

(Achoo!)

Maybe.

If Janet Calls

Tell Her I Left.

Where Are You Going?

To Janet's.

You Can't.

Now Dad's Sick, Too.

Oh, No.

I'm Going Up There.

They Need Me.

Don't Bug Them.

Are They Okay?

They're Fine.

They Just Need Bed Rest For A Few Days.

A Few Days?

Yeah.

Who Will Cook?

We Will.

Who Will Put Me To Bed?

We Will.

Who Will Pay The Bills?

Calm Down.

They've Been Sick Before.

Not Together.

We'll Have To Pull Together And Run The House Ourselves.

All Right, Pizza Every Night.

See, Right Off That's The Wrong Attitude.

We've Got To Be Responsible.

Which Means We Eat Stuff We Don't Like.

Yeah, I Guess You're Right.

With Some Teamwork, Everything Will Go Smoothly.

What's First?

You Two Make Lunch.

Rudy, You Empty The Dishwasher.

Vanessa, You Clean The Kitchen.

I'll Make A Work Schedule.

What Will You Do Besides The Work Schedule?

Lots.

Plan The Meals, Decide When To Eat...

Figure Out What Chores Need To Be Done.

I'll Do Everything Mom And Dad Do.

In Fact, I'm Doing The Job Of Two Adults.

I'd Appreciate Some Support From You Two.

I'm With You.

Me, Too.

I Know We Can Do It.

Go, Team! Go, Team!

Let's Go Team. Let's Go Team.

Cliff?

Yeah?

I'm Thirsty.

So Am I.

Who Will Get Us Water?

You.

I Can't Get Water, I'm Sick.

So Am I.

So Am I.

So Am I.

Theo Said If We Needed Anything We Could Call Him.

Go Ahead, Call Him.

I Can't, My Head Hurts.

My Head Hurts, Too.

Okay, Let's Call Him Together.

Okay.

On The Count Of Three.

One, Two, Three.

Theo. Theo.

Theo. Theo.

I'm Yelled Out.

Do You Think They'll Ever Come Up And Check On Us?

I Don't Think So, Dear.

They Have Us Right Where They Want Us.

How Are We Going To Get The Water?

I'll Get It.

Dear, I'm Going To Need Some Help.

Okay.

There You Go.

Cliff?

Hmm?

Are You All Right?

Yeah, I'm Just Taking A Little Nap.

Vanessa.

What?

There's More Table Under Those Magazines.

Nobody Sees That Part.

I Will If I Pick Up A Magazine.

Then Don't Pick Them Up.

You Wouldn't Be Sloppy With Mom And Dad Here.

All Right, All Right.

Good.

When You Finish That, You Can Start This.

I'm Through After Dusting.

Wrong.

I Told Janet I Would Come Over.

When You're Sick

Do Mom And Dad Take Off To Their Friend's House?

No.

Then We Should

Show Them The Same Consideration

And That's Going To Take Teamwork And Sacrifice.

A Chain Is Only As Strong As Its Weakest Link.

Don't Be That Weak Link.

Theo, Don't Give Me That.

It's Obvious That You Don't Want To Pitch In And Help

For Mom And Dad's Sake.

All Right.

And Here's A Grocery List, Too.

I Have To Go To The Store, Too?

What Are You Doing?

Plenty.

I Have To Finish Dusting, Organize The House...

I'll Go To The Grocery Store.

And Pick Up Some Carnations For Mom And Dad.

You Probably Want Me To Grow Them, Too.

Hi, Rudy, How's It Going?

Almost Finished.

Good.

Here, Remember To Separate The Whites.

I Can't Do Laundry.

I'm Not Allowed To Use The Machine.

You Could Still Take This And Separate The Clothes.

I'm Going To The Store.

After That, Do The Living Room Floors.

That's Your Job.

When You Were Sick Last Week

Mom And Dad Took Care Of You.

It's Time To Return The Favor.

That Means Some Sacrifice.

A Chain Is Only As Strong As Its Weakest Link.

Don't Be That Weak Link.

Understand?

I Understand--

You Want Me To Do Your Work.

I Don't Need This Sarcasm.

I'm Sorry.

(Doorbell)

Hey, Mr. Lucas, How Are You Doing?

This Is My New Assistant.

Warren L. Davis.

Your Father Recommended Him.

Really?

I Worked At The Hospital

For 20 Years, But They Gave Me The Boot.

Sorry To Hear About That.

Don't Be.

Working For Mr. Lucas

Is The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me.

Hiring Mr. Davis Is The Best Thing I Ever Did.

When It Comes To Fixing Things

Mr. Lucas Is A Genius.

Thank You.

You're Welcome.

What Are You Here To Fix?

The Bannister.

It Is Loose.

It Won't Be After Mr. Davis Finishes With It.

Thank You.

You're Welcome.

I'll Tell Mom And Dad You're Here.

Thank You.

You're Welcome.

(Knocking)

Come In.

Mom...

What's Dad Doing

On The Floor?

He Went To Get Water, But Didn't Make It.

Why Didn't You Call Me?

We Were Too Weak.

I'll Get Some Water.

Let's Get Dad Back In Bed.

Dad, Let Me Get You Back In Bed.

Who Are You?

Theo.

It's The Fever, Son. He Has 102.

He Must Be In Bad Shape.

Get Under The Covers.

Who's She?

Your Wife.

She Is?

She's Nice.

I'll Get The Water.

No, No.

Don't Look At Me. I'm Sick.

Could I Have Your Number?

Here You Go, Mom.

Thank You, Son.

Here's Your Water, Dad.

Water?

What For?

To Drink.

Oh, Good, Because I'm Thirsty.

Dad, I Don't Want You Getting Out Of Bed, Okay?

Yes, Theo.

Keep The Covers On.

Yes, Theo.

I'm Getting A Whistle.

If You Need Me, Blow It.

Mr. Lucas And Mr. Davis Are Fixing The Bannister, Okay?

Yeah, That's Fine.

I'll Be Right Back.

Yes, Theo.

Lovely Boy.

Yes, He Is.

I Wish I Had A Son Like That.

You Do.

Really?

What's His Name?

Theo.

Ah, Same Name As The Boy That Just Left Here.

Cliff, Go To Sleep.

(Hammering)

Come In.

No, That's Downstairs, Honey.

That Must Be The Work On The Bannister.

Make Them Stop.

I'll Get Theo.

(Feeble Whistle)

More Air.

(Piercing Whistle)

(Weakly) Aahhh...

I'm Sorry.

He Probably Can't Hear Because Of The Hammering.

Cliff, Go Downstairs And Tell That Man To Stop.

I Can't Go, Dear.

You Go.

I Can't Go. I'm Not Decent.

I Don't Want The Workman To See Me In Pajamas.

Clair, You Really Don't Look That Good, Anyway.

Excuse Me?

Okay, I'm Going.

(Hammering)

Hey, There, Dr. Huxtable.

Where's My Bannister?

All Over The Place.

I Had To Take It Out.

Do You Have To Hammer?

No, But I Wouldn't Feel Right

If I Got Paid For Just Standing Here.

Mrs. Huxtable And I Are Very Sick People.

What's Wrong With You?

Andalusian Flu.

That's Bad.

Your Head Feels Like It's Smashed Between Semi Trucks.

You Get This Shooting Pain Between Your Eyes--

Like A Woodpecker's Been Tapping On You.

You've Had It?

No, Sir. I Never Get Anything.

You Don't?

As Soon As I Feel Something Coming On

I Drink Quinine And Seltzer.

That Wipes Those Germs Right Out.

Dr. Huxtable?

Dr. Huxtable?

I Think You'd Better Go Back To Bed.

Yes.

Thank You.

Mm-Hmm.

Oops!

Lana, What Are You Doing?!

She's Helping.

I Don't Mind.

Lana, I Mind.

Rudy, Why Are You Doing The Floors?

That's Vanessa's Job.

Vanessa Told Me To.

Where Is She?

In The Kitchen.

Excuse Me, Lana.

I'll Be Right Back.

Rudy, Come With Me, Please.

Vanessa, Why Was Rudy Doing The Living Room Floor?

Because I Went To The Store.

She Gave Me The Laundry, Too.

Vanessa!

I Just Asked Her To Load Them.

You Just Turned It On.

I Did More...

No, You Didn't!

Yes, I Did!

Guys, What's Happening To Our Teamwork?

Remember, We're In This Together.

Right. Rudy And I Work, And You Watch.

Yeah, Mr. Big Shot.

If That's How You Feel

I'll Increase My Share Of The Work.

Good.

You Got The Flowers. Great.

I'll Just Give These To Lana.

Lana?

Yeah.

I Went To The Store

To Buy Flowers For Your Girlfriend?!

Half Are For Mom, And Half Are For Lana.

She'll Love These. Thanks.

He Tricked Me Into Buying Flowers For His Girlfriend!

Yeah. She's Sitting In The Living Room.

I Can't Go To Janet's

But He Brings His Girlfriend Here.

I've Had It With Him.

Me, Too.

He Never Lets Us See Mom And Dad.

I Bet He's Telling Them

He's Doing All The Work And We're Goofing Off.

That Stinks!

I'm Tired Of Him Bossing Us Around.

Theo Is A Dictator.

Right.

And You Should

Overthrow A Dictator.

Let's Throw Him.

These Flowers Are So Beautiful.

If I Could

I'd Give You Flowers Like That Every Day.

That's So Sweet.

Theo, It's Really Neat

The Way You're Taking Care Of Your Parents.

I Can't Let Them Down.

I'm The Oldest In The House Now.

That's So Mature.

I Bet You'd Make A Great Dad.

It's Not That Hard.

You Just Have To Be Good At Organizing.

Hey, How's It Going, Team?

What Are You Guys Doing?

You're Overthrown.

We're Not Taking This.

Hello, Lana.

Hi, Vanessa.

You've Given Your Last Order, Theo.

You're Out, Pal!

Excuse Me, Lana.

There Must Be Some Misunderstanding.

I'll Go Into The Kitchen And Talk To My Sisters.

I'm Not Going With You.

Please, Let's Talk About This Somewhere Else.

I'm Telling Mom And Dad What You've Been Doing.

I'm Telling, Too.

Don't! They're Sick!

When They Hear This, You're Going To Get It.

Let's Go.

Wait!

I Command You To Stop!

Now!

Theo: You'll Wake Them Up!

Vanessa: You Just Don't Want To Get In Trouble.

(Everyone Shouting)

(Piercing Whistle)

(Weakly) Aahhh...

I'm Sorry.

Who Are They?

Your Children.

Why Are They Making This Noise?

What's The Problem?

Theo's A Dictator.

I Am Not!

Yes, You Are.

He's Giving Us The Work.

He Does Nothing But Boss Us.

I'm Delegating Responsibilities--

Like You And Dad Do.

I Have A Blister.

Rudy, Get Off!

They're Sick!

(Whistle)

That's It.

Starting From This Moment And Forevermore

I Declare Myself Well.

How Can You?

I've Got To

Or These People Will Tear Up My House.

Theo, You And Vanessa Go To The Kitchen

And Await Further Instruction.

You Come With Me

And I'll Fix Your Finger.

Things Will Be Different Now.

Have A Rough Time, Son?

I Tried To Be A Good Leader.

I Just Had The Wrong Followers.

Come Here, Son.

Sit Down.

I'll Explain It To You.

Are You Sure, Dad?

You Need Your Rest.

What I Have To Say Is Important.

A Long Time Ago, When I Was A Little Boy

My Grandmother Said To Me...

"Chew Your Food 22 Times A Day..."

Dad, Maybe We Should Talk About This Later.

No.

We'll Talk About It Now.

"...It's Important To Brush Your Teeth

Before You Cross The Street."

Okay, Dad.

"...And If You Meet A Stranger With A Candy Bar

Tell Him You'd Rather Have Water."

Yeah, Dad.

Dad?

What Was I Saying? Where Was I?

You Were...

You Were Saying

That I Should Get A Sports Car For My Birthday.

A Sports Car?

Yeah.

Every 3,000 Miles...

You Change The Oil.

You Know...

Maybe We Should Put This Sports Car Thing In Writing.

Whatever You Say.

Just Sign The Bottom.

I'll Fill In The Rest.

Dad...

Don't Fall Asleep On Me Now, Dad.

Dad...

Dad, Don't Fall Asleep.

Huh?

What's The Matter?

Hey, Dad.

Huh?

Theo.

Oh, Man...

I Was Having This Terrible Dream That I Had A Horrible Son

Who Was Trying To Get Me To Sign A Piece Of Paper

So That He Could Get A Sports Car.

You're Kidding!

No...

But I'm Happy To See You.

Yeah.

Thank You For Looking After Me.

No Problem, Dad.

Okay.

Hey, Dad?

Dad?

Phew!