Original subtitles

It's Here.

What?

Some Things I Ordered.

Did I Get Mail?

No, But Look What I Got: "Bag-O-Gags."

What?

"Bag-O-Gags."

This Magazine Ad

Showed All These Tricks You Can Pull On Your Friends.

It's Funny Stuff.

Look At This.

What Is It?

A Fly In An Ice Cube.

People Will Think A Fly's In Their Drink.

That's Not Funny.

Yes, It Is, Rudy.

You're Just Too Young To Understand.

Look, I'm Sorry I Said That, Rudy.

Aah! ( Buzzing )

It's A Joy Buzzer.

That Wasn't Funny, Either.

Are You Kidding?

This Was Hilarious.

The Ad In The Magazine Was Right.

I'll Have Hours Of Fun With This.

Beautiful. Do You Know What This Is?

Chewing Gum.

That's What You're Supposed To Think.

This Is Actually Trick Gum.

It Tastes Like Dirt.

Eww!

Vanessa: Theo!

Down Here.

We'll Give Vanessa Some Gum.

Now That's Funny.

Pretend You're Chewing.

I'm Having Trouble With Algebra Problems.

Could You Help?

Sure. Isn't This Gum Good?

Delicious.

Want Some, Vanessa?

What Flavor?

It's Spearmint/Peppermint

And It's Sugarless.

I'll Have Some.

Isn't This The Best Gum You've Ever Tasted?

Absolutely.

Eww!

Vanessa: It Tastes Like Dirt!

What Is Wrong With You People?

This Is So Immature.

You Should Have Seen Your Face.

"Eww! It Tastes Like Dirt!"

Wait. Where's Mom?

She's In The Kitchen.

You're Not Giving Her That Gum?

No, I Got Something Better.

Hi, Mom.

Hi.

We Were Just Saying You're A Great Mom.

Really?

We Appreciate You Taking Us To The Movies.

You're Welcome.

You're An Excellent Mother.

We Look Forward To Many Years As Your Children.

Well, Thank... Ooh!

( Buzzing )

That Was Tremendous!

I Admit, You Got Me Good.

It's From The "Bag-O-Gags" I Ordered.

We Should Get Dad.

Yeah! Theo: Yeah!

Let's Do It!

Cliff?

Cliff: Hey!

Could You Come Downstairs?

Be Right Down.

Give Him The Gum That Tastes Like Dirt.

You Have Gum That Tastes Like Dirt?

Yeah, It's Awful.

It's Perfect.

You Know What To Do.

Yeah.

Should We Have Fish For Dinner?

Yeah, That's Fine With Me, Dear.

Isn't This Gum Good?

Delicious.

Dad, Want Some?

Okay, Thank You.

I'll Just Take A Half A Stick.

I Already Have Some.

Me, Too.

Vanessa?

I Had Some.

It Was Good.

Clair?

Oh, Thank You.

I'd Love Half.

Uh-Huh.

Aren't You Going To Chew It, Dear?

I'm Saving It For Later.

Mm-Hmm.

Yeah.

Ah-Ha!

Ha!

Okay, Let's Have The Story On The Gum.

Does It Turn Your Teeth Green?

Does It Explode In Your Mouth

Or Is It All Hot Peppers Inside?

What Is It?

It Tastes Like Dirt!

You Are The Saddest Bunch Of Sorry People

I've Ever Seen In My Life.

Think You Could Pull Something On Me.

You'll Never Pull Nothing On Me

Because I'm Smart, That's Why.

Dad, You're Right.

You Better Believe It.

We Never Should Have Tried This.

That Is Correct.

No Hard Feelings?

Of Course Not.

Put Her There.

All Right.

This Is Sad.

This Is Really Sad.

I Had These Things 39 Years Ago, Man.

You Can't Fool Me With This Stuff.

You Knew He Had It?

I Know All And I See All.

You All Can't Fool Me.

Oh, Look At This.

They're In Your Bulbs!

Ah, Ha, Ha!

I Got You. I Got You, Got You.

I'm So Good

I Don't Know What To Do With Myself.

Are You Ready?

Ready.

Mom! Dad!

Clair: Sondra...

Elvin, What Are You Doing Here?

We Thought We'd Just Visit.

I'm Glad You Did.

Is Dad Here?

No, He's At The Hospital.

We'd Better Wait.

Wait For What?

We Have Something To Say

But We'll Wait Till You're Together.

Is It So Bad You Want To Wait?

It's Good.

Okay.

Why Don't You Take Your Things Upstairs?

And I'll Make Some Tea.

I Can't Wait.

You'll Have To Tell Me Now.

But Dad Isn't Here.

I Don't Care.

Tell Me Now.

We're Engaged.

Sondra...

I Knew It!

Oh, My Baby, My Baby, My Baby.

Oh!

I'm So Happy.

Oh, Mom, I'm So Happy.

Oh, I'm So Happy.

I'm So Happy, Too.

Oh!

Oh, Elvin.

Where's The Ring?

It's Still In The Box.

I Wasn't Going To Wear It Until We Told Our Parents.

Have You Told Your Parents?

Yes. We Just Saw Them.

My Mother Cried.

Oh, I'm Going To Call Your Mother Now.

Rudy: Sondra! Elvin!

Vanessa: What Are You Doing Here?

Well, We Just Came Home To Announce Our Engagement!

You're Getting Married?

Oh, That's Unbelievable!

I Know.

Elvin, Congratulations.

Thank You.

( Buzzing )

I Got You! I Got You!

Hey, What's Going On?

Sondra And Elvin Just Got Engaged.

So?

Theo, Aren't You Excited?

They're Getting Married.

It's About Time.

Theo!

I'm Just Kidding, Sondra.

Congratulations, Sis.

Thank You.

Elvin, Congratulations.

Yeah... Hmm.

Rudy Got Me.

Real Good.

Listen, Francine, We'll Get Together Very Soon.

We Have A Lot To Talk About.

Bye-Bye.

I Can't Wait Till We Tell Dad.

Dad Doesn't Know?

No.

What?

We Finally Know Something Dad Doesn't.

Yeah!

Wait. We Can't Keep This Information From Your Father.

For Once We Know Something He Doesn't.

We Can Use This To Get Even With Him.

What Are You Talking About?

Dad Said We'd Never Fool Him No Matter How Hard We Tried.

And He Called Us A Bunch Of Sorry People.

You Want To Use Our Engagement

To Try To Trick Dr. Huxtable?

Yeah!

I Think It's A Great Idea.

Clair: Wait A Minute, Now.

This Is A Good Time For Our Family.

It's Precious. We Should Cherish It.

We Can't Use This To Play A Trick On Your Father...

Although We Could Get Him Real Good.

Yeah! Yeah!

Let's Do It!

Okay, Listen.

Dr. Huxtable.

Elvin.

I Need To Speak To You.

What's On Your Mind?

This.

It's A Ring.

An Engagement Ring.

I'm Already Married.

It's Not For You, Sir.

It's For Sondra. Really?

My...

My Little Sondra.

Yes, Sir.

I Want To Propose To Her Tonight.

What Do You Think?

I Think That Sondra Is A Wonderful Woman

And I Think That You're A Good Man

And You Have My Blessings.

Thank You...

Dad.

Now, About Mrs. Huxtable.

What About Mrs. Huxtable?

In The Past I've Said Some Pretty Stupid Things To Her

About Men Being Superior To Women.

Yes. Yes, You Have.

They Made Her Very Angry.

That Was A Long Time Ago, And You've Changed Considerably.

I Think Mrs. Huxtable Will Let Bygones Be Bygones.

Maybe, But I'm Still Afraid To Ask Her.

If I Say Something Stupid Now, It Could Really Ruin Things.

That's Why I Came To See You.

You Have To Get Mrs. Huxtable's Blessing For Me.

You'll Know The Right Thing To Say To Her.

You Know Everyone In This Family So Well.

Sometimes You Amaze Me.

I Do?

Yes, You Possess A Tremendous Amount Of Wisdom.

Elvin, You Made The Right Move When You Came To Me.

I Know How To Handle Mrs. Huxtable.

There's A Special Little Thing I Do.

I Take Her Feet And I Massage Them.

You Ought To

Let Me Handle It.

I'll Pave The Road For You And Sondra.

Can You Do It?

I'm Sorry, Sir.

Is There Room On The Sofa For Me?

I'll Make Room For You.

Thank You.

What Are You Doing Way Over There?

You Know What-- Put Them Up Here.

And To What Do I Owe This Lovely Pampering?

Just Credit It To The Fact That You Are Beautiful.

Keep Talking.

I Was Thinking About Elvin.

What About Him?

Well, I Was Just Supposing...

What Would Happen If He Asked Sondra To Marry Him.

Never.

Never?

Would I Allow Such A Thing To Happen!

Yeah, But...

Not While I'm Living.

Not Even When I'm Dead.

Yeah, But, Hon...

No, No, No.

I've Spent My Entire Life

Waiting For Sondra To Dump That Boy.

But You Haven't Spent Your Entire Life With Elvin.

Come On.

It Feels Like It.

His Attitudes Towards Women Are Downright Primitive.

He Thinks The Man Is The King.

The Woman Is Supposed To Sit There

And Fulfill His Every Wish.

But The Boy Has Changed Considerably Since Those Times.

And Look How You Changed Me.

I Do Not Want Sondra To Go Through What I Did!

But I Wasn't...

I'm Just Saying Suppose.

You Can Suppose All You Like

But If That Boy Ever Asks My Daughter To Marry Him

They Will Be His Last Words.

Hey, Dad.

Did You Talk To Mrs. Huxtable?

I Think You Better Elope.

What's The Matter?

Just Give Mrs. Huxtable More Time.

How Much?

More Time Than You Have

I Would Imagine.

You Said You Could Handle It.

You Said You Knew Her Better Than She Knew Herself.

I Do, Except When Your Name Comes Up.

Then I Don't Know My Wife At All.

I'm Sorry.

Dr. Huxtable, I Hate To Say This

But You Really Let Me Down.

Yes, But There's Got To Be Something We Can Do.

I'm Going To Stand Up To Mrs. Huxtable.

I Don't Think You Want To Do That.

I'm Asking Sondra To Marry Me

Whether Mrs. Huxtable Likes It Or Not.

Okay, Come Here.

Sit Down, Son.

Sit Down Here.

I Think There's Something That We Could Do.

We've Got One Last Shot Before Dinner.

I'll Do Anything.

How Do You Really Feel About Women?

I Need The Truth.

They're Equal To Men.

Do You Believe A Woman Could Be President Of A Corporation?

Could Be President Of The United States?

Of Course.

No Problem With That?

No, She Could Be An Astronaut--

By Herself.

I Don't Understand.

Fly To The Moon By Herself.

By Herself, Yes!

Come On Now.

We're Going In Here,

And We'll Tell Mrs. Huxtable.

Dear, You Should Have Heard The Things

This Young Man Was Saying.

Go Ahead, Tell Mrs. Huxtable What You Were Saying.

I Firmly Believe In The Equality Between Men And Women.

There You Go. Really?

Yes.

And What Else?

It's Also My Sincere Opinion

That A Woman Can Do Anything On Her Own.

What Else?

A Woman Can Fly To The Moon Without The Help Of Any Man.

Elvin, Thank You

For Sharing This Attitude With Me.

It's From The Bottom Of My Heart.

I'll See You At Dinner.

Cliff: All Right, Elvin.

Now, Wasn't That Wonderful?

And Sincere.

Sincere.

I Am Amazed.

Yes, Good.

I'm Amazed How That Boy Could Lie To My Face.

He Is Nothing But A Big Fake...

No...

And You're With Him.

I'm With Him?

Let The Record Show

That If The Boy Opens His Mouth At Dinner Tonight

I'll Throw Him So Far From This House

He'll Forget The Address.

How's Everybody?

Fine.

Where's Dad?

At The Hospital.

You Should Have Seen Him Before He Left.

He Was Begging Me To Give Elvin My Permission.

Begging.

Theo: This Is The Greatest Thing We've Done.

Vanessa: Dad Will Be So Faked Out.

Sondra: I Can't Wait To See Dad's Face At Dinner.

Elvin: I Did An Excellent Job Of Faking Him Out.

At Dinner Tonight, Everybody Remember

You Must Keep A Straight Face.

Do Not Laugh.

We Don't Want Him To Suspect A Thing.

Sondra: This Is Going To Be Unbelievable!

He'll Be Sorry He Ever Called Us Sorry.

Right Before I Serve Dessert Elvin Will Propose To Sondra.

I'll Stand Up And Say

"Never Will I Allow This Marriage."

Then Sondra Will Say, "But, Mom, We're In Love."

Sondra: I'll Make It Real Emotional.

Elvin: Maybe I Should Start Crying.

That's Perfect!

Then When I Throw You Out, Dr. Huxtable Will Feel So Bad.

Maybe We Shouldn't Do This-- It's Awfully Cruel.

But He Deserves This!

All: Yeah.

After I Throw Elvin Out

We'll Turn To Your Father And Say, "Gotcha!"

Clair: Okay, Let's Get Ready.

Remember, Keep A Straight Face.

Theo: This Will Be A Night Dad Will Not Forget.

Excellent Meal.

Yes, It Was One Of The Finest I've Ever Had In This House.

Everybody, Dessert Is Served.

Dessert, Too?

Yes, Homemade Apple Pie.

Oh, No, I Don't Have Room For Apple Pie.

I'm Going To Go Out And Walk This Off.

Dad, You Can't.

What Do You Mean?

We Can't Have Dessert Without You.

It Wouldn't Be The Same.

Please?

Well, I'm Touched By This--

That My Family Would Want Me Here.

Clair: I'll Serve.

Before You Do That, There's Something I'd Like To Say.

Sit Down. Sit Down.

Pardon Me?

Sit Down.

But I Was...

No, Sit Down And Shut Up!

Now, I Have Something To Say.

This Is A Very Sad Occasion

Because Something That Was Supposed To Happen

Isn't Going To Happen.

Dr. Huxtable...

Shut Up.

You've Been Coming To This House For A Long Time

And Every Time You Come Here

You Bring Nothing But Turmoil And Havoc.

But Thanks To Mrs. Huxtable

Who Was The Only One Who Could See Through

Your Little Trifling Ways

And Because Of Her...

I Can See Clearly...

Wait, Cliff...

Shut Up!

Dad, Wait A Minute.

You Have A Problem?

I'm Telling You...

In Fact

You Are Leaving This House Right Now.

Let's Go.

You're Leaving!

You Want To Know Why?!

Because I Gotcha!

Ha, Ha, Ha!

I Gotcha!

All Of You!

Ha, Ha, Ha!

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!

"We're Going To Get Dad!"

You'll Get Nobody!

Bam!

Now, Come On.

My Boy.

Come On, Sit Down

And You Propose To My Daughter

And Do It Right.

You Were Listening.

No, A Little Birdy Told Me.

Go Ahead And Propose To My Daughter.

All: Oh...

Sondra...

Will You Marry Me?

Yes.

Oh, Elvin, Welcome To The Family--

If You Still Want To Be A Part Of It.

I Definitely Do.

I Have Something To Say.

Oh, My Goodness.

Here We Go.

You Are Marrying My Oldest Child--

The One Who's Been With Me The Longest.

You're Getting A Very Special Person Here.

But What Really Makes Me Happy

Is That Sondra Is Getting A Very Special Person, Too.

Thank You.

Dr. Huxtable, I Hope You're Not Too Angry With Me

For Trying To Pull That Joke On You.

Oh, No, Elvin.

It's All Right.

( Buzz )

Gotcha!! Gotcha!!