Original subtitles

Hi, Theo.

What's Up?

What Are You Doing?

We're Putting Up Decorations For Denise's Wedding Shower.

Denise Is Getting Married?

Her Friend Veronica Is.

Because Denise Is Maid Of Honor, She's Giving The Shower.

What's A Maid Of Honor?

It's Like The Best Man, Only A Woman.

Why Don't They Call It

The Best Woman?

I'm A Guy.

I Don't Know These Things.

What Is A Shower?

It's Like A Party.

Your Friends Give You Gifts.

Can Men Have Showers?

I Guess So.

Then I'm Getting Married.

Who Will You Marry?

It Might Be You, It Might Not.

I Might Say Yes.

I Might Say No.

Just In Case, We'll Save The Decorations.

Okay. Let's Play Checkers.

See You Later, Alligator.

After While, Crocodile.

Your Brother's Cool.

My Whole Family's Cool.

Oh, Now This Is All Right.

We Can Hang This Above The Stairs.

Hanging? That's All?

I Thought You'd Be More Creative.

You Need Something Like A Big Bow Here To Symbolize

The Tying Of The Knot.

Yeah, I Like That.

It's Symbolic, Yet Festive.

Bold, Yet Artsy-Craftsy.

You Know, This Is Kind Of Scary.

What Do You Mean, Climbing Up The Ladder?

No. Veronica Is Denise's Age.

That's Two Years Older Than Me.

She's Getting Married?!

You're Afraid Of The Age She's Getting Married.

I'm Not Marrying Till I've Had All The Fun I Can--

Go Places I Want To Go--

Be Footloose And Fancy-Free.

Well, That's Fine.

Dad, I've Been Watching You.

You've Been Married For Years.

Your Wife Won't Let You Do Anything.

I Don't Understand What You're Talking About.

You Can't Go Hang Out With The Guys.

If You Go To A Party, You Have To Take Her Along.

She Won't Even Let You

Have A Sports Car.

If I Wanted A Sports Car, I Could Get One.

That's Good, Dad.

Want To Play Another Game?

Not Yet.

I'm Thirsty. I'd Like A Glass Of Juice.

It's In The Refrigerator.

You Should Get It.

Why?

You're A Woman. That's Your Job.

Excuse Me?

You're Supposed To Wait On The Man.

Sondra Says A Woman Shouldn't Spend Her Life Waiting On A Man.

Okay, But The Woman I Marry Will Get Me Some Juice.

It's Not Going To Be Me, Bud.

I Wouldn't Marry You.

Why?

Because You're Evil!

Where Did You Get That?

The Blues.

What Blues?

When My Brother Plays The Blues, The Singer Always Says:

♪ You're Mean And Evil ♪

♪ You Do The Things You Ought Not Do ♪

And That's You-- Evil!

No, It's Not.

Yes, It Is.

No, Donkey Head.

Mashed Potato Head.

Now Hold It!

How Come Every Time You Guys Play, You Start Arguing?

He Called Me Evil.

Because She Is.

Yes, You Are.

No, I'm Not!

Dad Said I Could Take You Skating

But I Can't If You're Going To Fight.

We Won't Fight.

You Promise?

We Promise. We Promise.

Shake Hands And Apologize.

I'm Sorry, Rudy.

Okay, Let's Go.

You're Still A Donkey Head.

You're A Mashed Potato Head.

I'd Rather Be A Potato Head

Than A Donkey Head.

Wow, Theo!

Hi.

Theo, This Is Lovely!

Dad And I Worked On It All Morning.

It's Great! I'm So Excited!

Yeah. Me, Too.

What Do You Wear To Something Like This?

Usually A Skirt And Blouse.

Right. I'll Wear A Tie.

Right.

What's Wrong?

Wedding Showers Are For Women.

Men Aren't Invited.

Are You Serious?

Yeah.

Why Didn't You Tell Us Before We Decorated?

I Thought You Did It To Help Us.

I Thought There Was Something In It For Me.

Oh, There Is.

Thank You, O Dearest Brother, O Thou.

That's It?

No. O Most Precious Number One Son

Your Diligent Work Will Live Forever In My Memory.

Thanks-- It's Nice To Know

You're Laughing With Me And Not At Me.

Right.

Well, Hi, Cliff.

Hey.

Things Are Coming Together Very Nicely.

Did You See My Bow?

Yes, I Did.

It's The Best, And So Are You.

Thank You.

And I Have Something For You.

What Is It?

It's In The Car. It's A Surprise.

It Is You.

What Is It?

Shelves.

Shelves.

Yeah, But Not Just Shelves.

It's A French Do-It-Yourself Kit.

It's What You've Been Wanting For Your Office.

Oh, Well, I'll Assemble It First Thing Tomorrow.

Why Not Start Today?

Are You Trying To Give Me Something To Do

So That I Won't Peek In On Your Little Sad, Tired Shower?

Yes.

Ha!

You Get Upset

When People Are Having Fun And You're Not Included.

Come On!

That's Why I Bought The Shelves--

So You Won't Come Upstairs And Bother Everybody.

Well, I Happen To Be A Wizard With Tools

So I'll Have Finished Assembling Those Shelves

Before Your Little Tired Shower Starts.

Okay. You Can Come Upstairs If You've Finished The Shelves

But They Must Be Fully Assembled.

Deal?

Sure.

All Right.

But After I Finish Them-- And Theo Helps Me--

I May Not Want To Come To The Shower.

I May Just Decide To Go Out

Someplace By Myself.

Good.

I Might Even Go

And Look At Some Sports Cars-- By Myself.

And Eat A Hoagie And Put Extra Mayonnaise On It-- By Myself.

I'm Leaving This Room, So You Can Sit Here

And Continue Talking To Yourself.

That's All Right.

Just Beat Up On Me All The Time.

( Doorbell )

Hey, Veronica!

I Can't Believe How Much You've Grown.

I Can't Believe You're Getting Married.

If I'd Known You'd Turn Out So Handsome

I'd Have Waited.

Really?

You Bet.

At One Time, I Was Really In Love With You.

Why Didn't You Say Something?

I Was Eight.

Veronica!

Denise!

I'm So Excited.

You Look Great.

Charlene's Coming.

Charlene's Coming? Great!

Hey, Hey, Hey!

Doctor Huxtable!

How Are You?

Oh, Great!

Veronica.

Oh, You Are So Beautiful!

Her Dress Is So Gorgeous.

Is It European?

Theo!

Dad!

How Are You?

Look At You!

What Are You Going To Wear To The Wedding?

I Have No Idea.

Let's Go Talk About It.

I Want Something Fun, Not Too Formal.

( Laughing )

They Sure Are Having A Good Time Up There.

They're Not Having As Much Fun As We Are.

But They're Laughing, And We're Not.

Laughing Doesn't Always Mean You're Having Fun.

I Mean, There Are Times

When You Can Experience Joy From Within.

Like The Joy We're Feeling.

That's Correct.

Let's Get Started.

♪ Breaking Up The Shelves, Boys ♪

Dad, Could You Hand Me The Instructions?

Okay.

There You Go.

♪ Breaking Up The Shelves... ♪

Dad.

Huh?

These Instructions Are In French.

They Have An English Version On It.

♪ Breaking Up The... ♪

I Don't See The English Version.

Then You Translate.

Why Me?

You're Taking French In School.

I've Only Had One Semester.

You've Got Nouns, Verbs And Numbers, Right?

Yeah.

Hit It.

♪ Breaking Up The... ♪

"Assemblage."

Hey, That Means Assembly.

The Picture Says You're Supposed To Hold The Vertical Part Up.

Okay, "A L'aide D'un Maillet."

With A Mallet.

Okay.

With A Mallet...

Pound Your Ankle Into Slot A.

It Says "Cheville."

Read On, Please.

"Poser Madriaires Sur Un Chevalet."

Put Your Mother On A Horse.

Thank You, But I Think You All Went A Little Overboard On The Gifts...

Wait A Minute.

There's One More.

Thank You.

It's From Me.

( Gasps )

I Took Some Old Photographs

And Put Together A History Of You And Jim.

This Is Great.

See, There Is Your First Date.

And There's The Prom.

And There's Graduation.

This Is So Special.

I Left Some Blank

So You Can Fill Them In After You Get Married.

You Can Put In Pictures Of Your House

And All The Children You'll Have.

Yeah! Yeah!

I'm Starved.

Let's Eat.

All: Yeah! Let's Eat.

The Dining Room Is This Way.

What Are We Having?

Fattening Foods.

Mmm.

Oh, My God, I Can't Believe...

So, What's Next?

Son!

What's Next?

Sorry, My Mind Was Somewhere Else.

Upstairs, Right?

Upstairs Are The Most Incredible Women.

And They're All The Perfect Age.

What About Girls Your Age?

They Try Too Hard.

The Girls Upstairs Don't Have To Try

Because They Have It All Together.

They Dress Well, Wear Nice Perfume.

They're Better Drivers.

Why Are They Better Drivers?

They Have Cars.

Sorry. I Lost My Head.

I'd Love To Ask One Of Them Out.

Why Don't You?

I Don't Stand A Chance.

I Have The Poise, The Looks And The Moustache For It...

It's Coming In Nicely.

Thank You.

What's The Problem?

I Don't Have Any Heavy Armaments--

The Air Power, The Sea Power...

You Want A Boat And A Plane?

No, I Want A Sports Car.

A Sports Car Would Give Me The Confidence To Ask One Of These Girls Out.

I Think You Should Go Down To A College Campus

Walk Around

Look At The Cars

And The One That You Like--

Lean Back On It.

And Fold Your Arms Like This, And Build Up That Confidence.

You Know, Like That's Your Car.

When You See A Nice Looking Person Come By

You Look At Her And You Say, "Hi."

And Act Like It's Your Car.

I've Tried It. It Doesn't Work.

Hey.

Hi.

You Okay?

I'm Fine.

I Just Wanted To Get Away For A Minute.

That's Okay.

Your Room Looks Different.

It's Vanessa's Room Now.

Maybe We Should Leave.

No, I Still Sleep Here When I Come Home.

I Always Liked This Room.

Yeah, We've Spent A Lot Of Nights In Here Together.

Talking About Boys.

And Traveling All Over Europe.

Then Come Back To New York And Open Our Own Boutique.

Right, Right.

Traveling Will Be Hard To Do Now

Unless Jim Takes Care Of The Baby.

How Is The Baby?

It Must Be Healthy

Because I'm Sick Every Morning.

My Mom Says It Was The Same Way With Me.

How's Your Mom?

She's Been Great-- Very Supportive.

How About Your Dad?

He's Still Upset

But They Are Letting Us Move In With Them.

That's Good.

Denise, Be Honest With Me.

Am I Fat?

No, Veronica...

Look At This.

I'm Starting To Show.

No One Even Noticed.

In A Couple Weeks, I'll Be Out To Here--

The Blimp Bride.

You Guys Will Have To Roll Me Down The Aisle!

Stop. You'll Look Beautiful.

Denise, I Don't Know If I'm Ready For This.

Everything Will Be Fine.

It's Not Working Out Like We Planned.

It Wasn't Planned-- It Just Happened--

But You're Making The Best Of It.

It Didn't Just Happen.

No, You Guys Got Lost In The Passion And Forgot.

I Got Pregnant On Purpose.

Right. Come On, Veronica.

I'm Serious.

We Planned This.

Why Would You Do Something Like That?

Jim And I Always Talked About Getting Married

But My Dad Said We Couldn't Until I Finished College.

We Figured This Would Be The Best Way To Get Permission.

I Don't Believe This.

We Wanted Children Someday--

We Just Thought We'd Start Sooner.

This Is Real Soon.

But We Planned Everything.

We'd Have The Baby

But Still Go To School And Get Part-Time Jobs.

It Sounded Good At The Time, But Nothing's Working Out.

I Can't Get A Decent Job Without A College Degree

And Jim Had To Drop Out To Work Full-Time

And He Hasn't Found A Job Yet.

We Don't Have Any Money At All.

Denise, Everything's Falling Apart.

Come Here.

Everything Is Going To Work Out Fine.

You Really Think So?

Yes, I Know So.

It May Not Seem Like It

But I Am Having Fun At My Shower.

Hi, Mommy.

Hi, Sweetie. How Was Skating?

Fabulous.

Where's Kenny?

I Dropped Him Off At His House.

Are You All Right?

Mom, This Was The Worst Day Of My Life.

Those Two Wore Me Out.

They Fought Constantly

And When They Weren't Fighting

They Were Chasing Each Other Or Running Away From Me.

I'm Sorry You Had Such A Rough Time.

Mom, They're Pigs!

They Ate Everything They Could Get.

I Don't Know How You've Done It All These Years.

Kids Are Rotten.

I'm Just Glad I Wasn't That Way.

Me, Too.

Okay...

This Is It.

And I Am Finished In The Dining Room.

Good.

Mom? Yes?

Veronica's A Really Good Friend.

Yes, She Is.

Do You Think She's Too Young To Get Married?

No

But She's A Little Young To Have A Baby.

You Know?

She Announced Her Engagement, Had Her Shower

And Is Getting Married All In The Same Month.

It Wasn't Hard To Figure Out.

And She's Beginning To Show.

Mom, Don't Tell Her-- She'll Freak.

I Won't Say Anything.

I Told Her Everything Will Work Out

But I Don't Think I Really Believe It.

If This Happened To Me...

This Wouldn't Happen To You.

I Know, But...

It Won't.

But Mom...

It Won't!

Well, Let's Say I Sort Of Planned It.

Are You Telling Me That You Want A Baby?

No, No.

Then Why Are You Bringing This Up?

Promise Not To Tell Anyone?

Tell Anyone What?

Veronica Got Pregnant On Purpose.

What?

She And Jim Wanted To Get Married Now

And This Way, Their Parents Had To Say Yes.

Veronica And Her Boyfriend

Who Do Not Have Jobs

And Who Are Moving In With Her Parents

Decided To Have This Baby On Purpose?

Yes.

If One Of You Pulled A Stunt Like That

I'd Wring Your Neck.

I Believe You.

I Hope You Do

Because That's The Most Selfish

And Irresponsible Thing I've Ever Heard Of.

You Don't Understand...

No, I Understand.

She Hasn't Gone Off On Her Own And Done This.

She's Moving In With Her Parents.

Now It's Their Problem, Too

And I'm Sure They Didn't Plan On Having Another Baby.

Now That Veronica's Done This, She's Really Afraid.

She Should Be More Than Afraid.

I Understand What You're Saying, But Veronica's My Friend.

Whatever She's Done, I Have To Help Her.

I Know You Feel This Way

But You Have To Learn To Care About People

Without Taking On Their Problems.

Veronica Created This Situation.

It's For Her To Deal With, Not You.

I Know.

As Her Friend

The Most You Can Do Is Love Her

And Let Her Know You're Here For Her.

It Doesn't Feel Like It's Enough.

Trust Me.

It Is.

Okay.

Thanks, Mom.

I Thought Life Got Easier As You Got Older.

Why Did You Think That?

Hi.

Well, Hello.

Are You Finished?

No.

We Still Have Not Assembled The Shelves.

I Came To Get A Soda

If It's All Right To Have One In My Own Home.

It's All Right.

I'll Get It For You.

Thank You So Much, Kind Woman.

I'm Very Sorry You Didn't Finish In Time To Join The Shower.

Yes, You Are Sorry

Because If You'd Had Any Intelligence At All

You'd Have Made Sure That It Had The English Version.

I'm Dealing With A Son Who's Had One Year Of French

And He's Got Me

Driving My Mother With A Mallet Through The Ankle.

Let's See...

The English Version.

You Had This The Whole Time, Didn't You?

Oui, Monsieur.

I Didn't Want To Come To Your Old Raggedy Party, Anyway.

Yes, You Did.

No, I Didn't.