Original subtitles

No, No, No. You Guys Come On Over.

You're Welcome.

Clair Has To Teach A Class At The Community Center Tonight

So Come On.

All Right, Dad.

Bye-Bye.

( Mischievous Laugh )

What?

My Father, That's What.

My Father Says To Me

He And Homer Dobson Are Coming Over Here

And They Want Me To Meet One Of Their Old Army Buddies.

Ha, Ha, Ha.

This Wouldn't Have Anything To Do With Pinochle.

Yes.

My Father Didn't Say Anything About Pinochle--

Did Not Mention Cards At All.

But I Know That He And Homer Are Bringing This Man Over

To Help Them Cheat Me.

Why Would They Do That?

Because I Beat Them The Last Time They Played Here.

I'll Bet You This Man Has Never Been In The Army.

He's Probably Some Pinochle Champion From Out Of State.

I'm Glad I Won't Be Here.

When You And Your Dad Play Pinochle, It's Pathetic.

Mom, Can I Ask You Something?

Before She Does, I Want To Say

I've Been Putting This Together For An Hour.

I Think I've Done Good Work.

However, Vanessa's Doubting Me.

Vanessa, That Is A Very Smart Outfit.

Do I Look Good?

You Look Stunning.

Thank You, Mom.

Okay, We Go With This One.

Hey, Wait, Wait.

What About Me?

I'm Sorry, Dad.

What Do You Think?

I Think You Look Bold, Yet Subtle.

I Think You Look Contemporary, Yet Aromatic.

Thank You, Dad.

Where Are You Going In That Thing?

She's Just Going To A Skating Party.

With Who?

With Her Friend.

Which Friend?

Just A Friend.

What Is The Friend's Name?

Tyrone.

Tyrone?

A Boy?

Unless It's Short For Tyronella.

Uh... No, Dad.

It's A Boy.

Aha!

What Time Is This Young Man

Coming Over To Pick You Up?

You Know, Sooner Or Later

He's Got To Come Here To Pick You Up.

And Then He'll Meet Me-- Mr. Charm.

♪ Tyrone, You Belong To Me ♪

Operator?

I Don't Think My Phone's Ringing.

Can You Call Me Back?

Thanks.

( Ring )

Yeah, I Guess It Is Working.

Thanks, Operator.

What's That All About?

I Was Expecting This Girl To Call

And The Phone Never Rang.

Why Don't You Call Her Up?

It's Past The Deadline.

Her Parents Won't Let A Call Come In?

No, Not That Kind Of Deadline.

I Asked Condola Burns Out Tonight.

She Said She Was 99% Sure She Would

And When She Was 100% Sure

She'd Call.

Cockroach Told Me To Use

The Deadline Delivery Method.

The Cockroach...

Deadline Delivery Method.

You Ask A Girl Out.

If She's Not Sure

You Tell Her She Has To Give You An Answer By A Certain Time

Or She Can Forget It.

You Might As Well Go To Bed Now.

( Doorbell )

Ha, Ha, Ha!

Cockroach Deadline Delivery.

Whoa.

Hey, Hello.

How Are You?

Look At You.

Cliff, How You Doing?

Hello, Sir.

Son, I'd Like You To Meet My Dear Friend

Sergeant Major Boswell Stokes, U.S. Army, Retired.

How Are You, Sir?

Nice To Meet You.

Pleased To Meet You.

So, You Were In The Navy?

Oh, Yes.

I'll Try Not To Hold That Against You.

( Sigh )

Well, It's Good To See You Guys.

Thanks For Having Us.

Thank You For Coming Over.

I Haven't Seen You Since We Last Played Cards.

Yes.

I Missed You.

Same Here.

You Know, It's Quite A Coincidence.

This Morning I Was Talking To My Wife

About How People Don't Just Stop By And Visit Anymore

Like They Used To In The Old Days.

Well, That's Why We're Here.

Yes, Indeedy.

Well, Wonderful.

Of Course We Don't Have To Just Sit And Chat.

We Could Engage In Some Entertaining Activity

If We Want.

Does Anybody Have Any Ideas?

Yeah.

I Think We Could Put On Our Coats

And Take A Nice Walk By The River.

We Parked By The River.

We Already Took That Walk.

There Is Something We Haven't Done In A While.

What's That?

Cards.

It's True.

Cards.

Well, That Sounds Fine For Me

But I Don't Know If Sergeant Stokes Here...

Well, A Game Of Cards?

I Think That Would Be Nice.

What Particular...

Pinochle.

So?

That Looks Good.

I Don't Know.

You've Tried On Everything In Your Closet.

You've Even Tried On My Clothes.

Just Go With This.

But How Will It Look

When I Put The Skates On?

Put On Your Skates.

That's A Great Idea.

I Don't Believe This.

Oh, Vanessa, I Love Those Shoes.

You Know, They're Definitely You.

Lay Off, Theo.

I Want To Look Good.

It's Just A Skating Party.

You'll Spend Most Of Your Time Falling, Anyway.

But She'll Be Falling With Her Date

Which Is More Than You Can Say.

Everyone Gets Stood Up Once In A While.

Especially When They Use

The Cockroach Deadline Delivery Method.

We're Working A Few Bugs Out Of It.

Don't Worry, You'll Get A Date Someday.

Ahh.

Say, Homer.

Do You Remember An Old Singing Group

Called "The Diamonds"?

Yeah, I Remember "The Diamonds."

They Sang A Song I Liked.

Do You Remember The Name?

"The Diamonds" Sang A Lot Of Songs

But I Think You're Thinking Of, "I Ain't Got None."

Partner, They're Trying To Cheat Us.

I Don't Know What You Mean.

I Just Hear Two Gentlemen Discussing Their Love Of Music.

As A Matter Of Fact

A Little Later We Should Go To Some Clubs

And Listen To Music.

That's A Good Idea.

How Many Clubs Did You Have In Mind?

About Two.

Hello, May I Speak To Condola?

She's Out?

On A Date?!

Oh.

Will You Tell Her That Theo Huxtable Called

And That I'm Sorry

And That It Was All Cockroach's Idea?

Thanks. Bye.

( Doorbell )

Yes?

Hi, I'm Vanessa Huxtable.

I'm Here To Pick Up Tyrone Baxter.

You Sure About That?

Oh.

I Mean, I'm Tyrone Baxter

And I'm Here To Pick Up Vanessa Huxtable.

You Okay?

Yeah, I Think So.

I'm Theo, Vanessa's Brother.

Come In And Take Off Your Coat.

Thanks, I Appreciate It.

Watch It!

Don't Even Try It!

( Arguing )

Is Somebody Having A Fight In There?

No, That's My Dad And My Granddad

With Their Friends Playing Cards.

If You Want To Get In Good With My Dad

You Have To Play Pinochle Or Chess.

I Love Chess--

And I Can Learn To Play Pinochle, Really I Can.

It's Okay. Relax.

My Dad's The Important One.

Yeah.

First, I Need To Know

What Kind Of Music You Like.

All Kinds, Really.

My Dad Likes Jazz.

I Like Jazz, Really I Do.

Now, Me-- I'm Into Rhythm And Blues, Rock And Rap.

I'm Into All Of It.

Vanessa Likes Funk.

Funk Is My Life, Really.

Tyrone, I Think It's Time You Meet My Dad.

Really? What Should I Say?

How Should I Be?

Just Be Yourself.

How's That?

Tyrone, Don't Worry.

Dad Treats All The Guys That Come In Here The Same--

Like Dirt.

Let's Go Meet My Dad.

Good Luck.

Wait A Second.

What?

Your Father Really Wants To Meet Me?

There's Nothing To Be Nervous About.

You'll Go In There

He'll Say, "Nice To Meet You"

And You'll Say, "Same Here."

Excuse Me, Dad--

This Is Tyrone Baxter.

He's Here To Take Vanessa Skating.

This Is My Dad, Dr. Huxtable.

Tyrone, How Are You?

Same Here, Dr. Hustable.

Same Here?

I Really Meant That.

Don't We Get Introduced?

This Is My Father, Mr. Huxtable...

How Do You Do?

His Close Friend, Homer Dobson...

How Do You Do?

And This Is Sergeant Major Stokes.

How Do You Do?

He's A Professional Card Shark.

You Want Something Cold To Drink?

Sure.

You Got 50 Cents?

How About A Soda?

Yeah, I Like Soda.

Make Sure You Get The 50 Cents.

Uh, Tyrone...

So You're Going To Take Out My Vanessa?

Vanessa Is Very, Very Special To Me.

You Understand?

Mm-Hmm.

I've Always Thought A Boy Would Come

And Take Out My Daughter--

He Would Have To Be Special Also.

And If You Ever Did Anything To Hurt Her

I'd Take This...

Have A Good Time.

Is That All You Want To Ask Me, Dr. Hustable?

I Mean, Is There Anything Else?

What More Did You Want Me To Say?

Oh, Nothing. I'm Fine.

Good.

Now Get Out.

Nice Meeting All Of You.

Good-Bye.

Dad, You Were Pretty Easy On Him.

Are You Okay?

I Don't Have Time To Take Prisoners.

I'm In The Middle Of A War.

Do Me A Favor.

Give Him A Soda And Tell Him Everything's All Right.

Okay.

And Tell Him My Name Is Huxtable.

Cliff, This Is Not A War.

A War Is Where You Fight Battles And Win A Purple Heart.

We Know A Few Men Who Won Purple Hearts.

Mm-Hmm.

How Many Men Do We Know Who Won Purple Hearts?

Oh, I'd Say About Three.

I Only Knew One Myself--

A Little Bitty Fellow.

I'm Serious, Tyrone, Dad Really Liked You.

Really?

He Talked To You-- You're In.

Yeah, But I'm Still Nervous.

This Is My First Date.

Hi, Are You Tyrone?

Yes.

I'm Rudy.

And Vanessa Looks Good.

When Is She Coming Down?

Soon.

So, Tyrone, Tell Me About Yourself.

I'm In The Eighth Grade.

That's Nice.

Are You Going To Kiss Vanessa Tonight?

Do I Have To Answer That?

I Think You Should.

Well, It's Up To Her.

Smart Man!

Hi, Tyrone. Sorry To Keep You Waiting.

It's All Right.

Told You She Looked Good.

You Do, Vanessa, Really.

Hi, I'm Denise.

I'll Be Driving You.

( Doorbell )

I'll Get It.

Hello.

Hi.

Hi, May I Help You?

I'm Aaron Stokes, Sergeant Stokes' Grandson.

I'm Vanessa Huxtable.

My Grandpa Forgot His Glasses.

He's In The Kitchen.

I'll Show You.

Thanks, Vanessa.

Tyrone, I'll Be Right Back.

This Way.

So, Tyrone, What Grade Are You In?

Eighth.

She's Right.

What Grade Are You In?

I'm A Freshman In College.

College-- Oh, I Like College.

I'm Going To Go.

Really, I Am.

That's Nice.

Denise?

Yeah.

I Have To Give You Something

In My Room.

We're About To Leave.

But If I Don't Give It To You Now, I'll Forget.

What Is It?

We'll Be Right Back.

Just Come On.

Sure.

Tyrone, There's One Thing

You Need To Know About Girls.

They Always Need Extra Time Before Going Out.

You Must Know A Lot About Dating.

Oh, Yeah.

In Fact, I Would Be On One Right Now

But I Chose To Stay Home

And Spend Time With The Family.

What Did You Need To Give Me?

Nothing.

That's Not Why I Brought You Up Here.

I'm Confused.

About What?

Aaron-- He's Incredible.

He's Okay.

Did You See His Eyes?

The Way He Moved?

The Way He Wore His Suspenders?

He's Okay.

I Would Love To Ask Him To Go Skating With Us.

Vanessa, Have You Lost Your Mind?

What Do You Mean?

You've Already Got A Date.

Are You Going To Drop Tyrone?

No, I Want Him To Go, Too.

You Have Lost Your Mind.

Try Concentrating On One Guy At A Time.

But Guys Always Do This To Girls.

Look At Theo And Cockroach--

They're Pigs.

You Have A Point.

But It's Still Not Fair To Tyrone.

Okay, Okay.

The Lakers Are Going All The Way.

I Like The Rockets.

Me, Too.

You're A Rockets Man?

You Better Believe It.

All Right.

Sorry For The Delay, Everybody.

Oh, Aaron, You're Still Here.

We Were Just Talking About Basketball.

You've Been Keeping Tyrone Waiting A Long Time.

It's All Right.

The Skating Party Will Still Be Going.

You're Going Skating?

Yeah, You Want To Join Us?

Sounds Like Fun.

I'll Ask Granddad.

Are You Crazy?

What?

Letting Another R R R Me Along.

I Like Aaron.

Who Cares?

He May Go For Vanessa.

You Have To Tell Him He Can't Go.

I Don't Want To Do That.

Why Not?

I'm Already Nervous About This Date.

If Aaron's There, There Will Be Less Pressure.

Yeah, There Won't Be Any Pressure

When You're Skating Alone, Pal.

Granddad Said It's Okay.

Great, Let's Go!

Aaron, I'm Really Glad You're Going.

Me, Too.

Me, Too.

I Can't Believe

Vanessa Has Two Dates.

And She Didn't Even Use

The Cockroach Deadline Delivery Method.

During The War

There Was One Particular Night I Remember.

I Was In A Foxhole And The Bombing Had Stopped.

I Looked Up At The Sky

And Saw Hundreds Of Stars Dancing On Treetops

And I Thought, When Man Stops Fighting

He Can See God's Work.

I Never Saw Any Stars.

Stars?

Is That Another Word For Diamonds?

No, Stars, Stars...

I'm Serious.

I Was In A Tank.

We Both Were.

761st Tank Battalion.

That's Right.

It Was In Those Tanks That We Saw Our Greatest

And Our Most Humiliating Moment.

What Happened?

We Must Have Been The Only Platoon

To Have Captured The Enemy

And The Enemy Acted Like They Were Doing Us A Favor.

Why?

We Had Surrounded

This Platoon Of Nazis With Our Tanks.

After A While, They Came Out Of The Woods

Waving The White Flag With Their Hands Held Up.

When Those Nazis Saw They Had Been Captured

By An All Black American Tank Platoon...

Uh-Oh.

The Looks On Their Face Seemed To Say

"No, No, Not You Guys.

"Anybody

"But You Guys.

"I Can't Go Back To My Hometown

And Tell Them I Surrendered To You Guys."

They Turned Around And Started Walking Back Into The Woods.

No...

We Got Orders

To Fire A Few Rounds Over Their Heads.

That's What Made Them Decide It Wasn't So Bad

Being Captured By Us.

So They Came Back.

They Had To, Didn't They?

Let Me Tell You

When I Was In The Navy We Were On Maneuvers...

Wait, When Was This?

This Is 1958.

I Don't Think There Was A War On

In 1958.

No, You Don't Need A War For Things To Be Dangerous.

Hold It, Cliff.

Where Were These Maneuvers?

We Were In Bermuda.

Russell, Would You Play A Card Please.

Wait A Minute.

We Were...

That's The Wrong Card.

Everything Doesn't Have To Be...

If We Listen To Your Story

Will You Finish The Card Game?

Okay.

This Had Better Be Good.

Now, We're On Maneuvers

And This Is Serious Maneuvers...

Off The Coast Of Bermuda.

Yes, The Coast Of Bermuda.

Now, I'm Lying In My Bunk

And I Hear The Sound Off General Quarters.

There's A Fire In Compartment 1021.

A Fire Can Be Dangerous.

Yeah, But This Wasn't A Real Fire.

This Was A Fire Drill.

We Had The Drill...

It Wasn't Real?

No.

But It's Still Dangerous, Because...

Why Don't We Take That Walk By The River.

I Had To Get Up.

Now, The Compartment Is Here

And Over Here-- This Is Where I Am.

In My Bunk.

Now, By The Time I Got To The Compartment...

( Door Slamming )

Come In!