Original subtitles

Rudy, How Many Times Have I Told You?

You Can't Move Sideways.

Why Not?

It's A Rule.

I Don't Like That Rule.

It Doesn't Matter What You Like.

You Asked Me To Teach You Checkers.

You Have To Play By The Rules.

Okay.

Take Back Your Move

And Move Again.

Ha Ha!

No Fair!

Give Those Back!

That Was A Legal Move.

You Can't Yell Every Time I Jump Your Men.

Learn To Be A Good Loser.

What's That?

Are You Guys Almost Finished?

Almost.

Hurry. I've Got People Coming Over.

This Won't Take Long.

Your Move, Rudy.

Wait, Rudy. Rudy!

I Win!

You're Not Playing By The Rules...

Come On. Move Upstairs. I Won!

Whoa, Hey, Ho!

What Is The Trouble?

Dad, Listen... I Need... I Won...

No, No.

( Gibberish )

One At A Time.

I Need The Living Room.

Two Girls From The Pep Squad Are Coming Over.

They Want Me To Help Them Write New Cheers.

Then Use Your Room.

We Need Room To Practice.

These Are The Two Most Popular Girls In The 8th Grade.

If I Get On The Pep Squad, It Could Change My Life.

Would You Please Take This Stuff Upstairs

So That Your Sister Can Change Her Life?

Or We Could Not Play At All.

Theo, You Promised To Teach Me.

Dad, You Must Have Something For Me To Do?

'Fraid Not, Old Boy.

Okay, Come On. Get This Stuff Up.

Rudy, I Was Winning!

Now We Have To Start Over.

I Guess That's Right.

Cliff: Upstairs.

I Will Make This Up To You.

Yes, I Know You Will.

Well... Dad.

Well... Vanessa.

Aren't You Going Back Down To Your Office?

And Miss The Opportunity

Of Meeting The Two Most Popular Girls In The 8th Grade?

Please Don't Embarrass Me.

Don't Act Silly Like You Usually Do.

I'll Try To Control Myself

But I Do Know Something About Cheers

And I Could Help With The Rhymes.

Two Bits, Four Bits

Six Bits, A Dollar

Clean My Shirt And Don't Forget The Collar!

Hey, Now!

( Doorbell )

Dad, That's Them.

Go, Please?

I'll Just Let Them In.

Okay?

No Rhyming?

You Don't Have To Worry. I'll Be In A Hurry.

Dad?!

I Told You I Could Rhyme.

I Do It All The Time.

How Do You Do? Welcome To The Zoo.

Hi.

Hi.

My Dad Likes Jokes.

All Over Town, Jokes Around.

Dad, This Is Paula Young

And This Is Cindy Stephens.

How Do You Do? I'm Dr. Huxtaboo.

Nice To Meet You.

I Hear That You Guys Are On The Pep Squad.

Yes, We're The Captains.

Well, Pardon Me.

I Have To Get My Hat, I Won't Be Able To Chat

But If You Need Some Cheers, Just See Me Down-Steers.

Bye, Dad.

Is He That Funny All The Time?

I Tried To Get Rid Of Him.

Vanessa, This Is A Beautiful House.

You Really Like It?

Yeah.

Thank You.

This Painting-- I Saw It In A Book.

My Mother Bought It At An Auction.

Bet It Was Expensive.

Yeah, $11,000.

$11,000?!

My Mom Really Wanted It.

It's Painted By Her Great-Uncle, And My Parents Both Love Art.

Want To See The Rest Of The House?

Yeah. Love It.

I'll Show You All The Upstairs Bedrooms

Except For My Brother Theo's.

No One Outside The Family Is Allowed To See It.

Cliff, What Are You Doing?

I'm Looking For The Remote To The Tv Set.

Why Don't You Go Over And Turn The Television On?

Because After I Turn It On

I Don't Want To Get Up And Walk Back Over To It

To Change Channels.

You Are Hopeless.

Aha-A-A!

I Found You, Little Buddy.

Where Have You Been?

( Car Tires Screeching )

Tv Chef: Today, I Got A Recipe Of Cooked Chicken All Kind Of Ways.

Many Kind Of Chickens, Capons, Rooster...

Chicken In Dumpling

Chicken A La Juice Down--

Which Should Be All Juiced Down.

Chicken... I Don't Know.

( Gunshot Ricocheting )

Tv Narrator: I Hope It Will Be Experimental For You.

There's Always Been A Mystery About The Drum.

The Drum Is The Father Of The Percussion Section.

Cliff?

Turn It Back To The Cooking.

( Drum Roll )

Chef: That One Cup Of Wine.

That Two Cup Of Wine.

White Wine.

Two Cup Of White...

Narrator: Next We Go To The Bass Drum.

( Beating Bass Drum )

And From The Bass Drum, We Go To The Tom-Tom.

( No Audio )

Aha!

It Won't Work For You.

I Want To See The Cooking.

No, You Can't See The Cooking.

He Needs New Batteries.

Come On.

I Just Put New Batteries In It.

It's Broken, It's Broken! Cliff's Toy Is Broken!

Neh, Neh, Neh, Neh, Neh, Nyeh!

And I'm Still Here!

Now You'll Have To Get Up

And Turn That Channel With Your Bare Hands.

No, I'm Not.

I'll Go Down To Jake's Appliance Store

And Buy A Brand-New One.

You Are An Electronic Gadget Junkie

And Jake's Appliance Store

Is Not A Good Place For A Man Like You.

I Am Going To Go Down To The Store And Buy A Remote

And That's It.

You Say That Now

But Once You Get Down There

Those Gadgets Will Be Sitting On The Shelves

And They're Going To Beckon, "Cliff, Buy Me.

If You Take Me Home, I'll Light Up Just For You."

I'm Going To Buy A Simple Remote Control

And Maybe A Satellite Dish.

Hello, May I Speak With Jake, Please?

Hi, Jake.

This Is Clair Huxtable.

Cliff's Wife.

He's On His Way Down To Your Store Right Now.

Jake, Don't Get Excited.

No, No.

No Matter What He Asks For

Sell Him Only A Simple, Basic Remote Control.

What's Taking So Long?

I'm Thinking.

You Need My Help?

No, I Don't.

You Could Move There.

If I Did, You'd Double Jump Me.

Maybe I Would, Maybe I Wouldn't.

King Me! King Me!

Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.

You're Worse Than Dad When You Win.

Come On, Move Again.

How Did You Get So Good?

I Have A Good Teacher.

Hey!

The Person I Wanted To See.

I Don't Want To Play Checkers With Rudy.

Please?

I Can't.

I Have To Write Cheers Tonight.

I'm On The Pep Squad.

I'll Write Your Cheers, If You Play Rudy.

I Want To Play With You, 'Cause You're More Fun To Beat.

Vanessa: Bye.

Have Fun.

Whose Move Is It?

Yours.

Clair: Theo?

Yes?

Could You Come Here?

Gladly.

Got To Go, Rudy.

You're Coming Back, Aren't You?

Yes.

♪ I'll Be Waiting. ♪

Yeah, Mom.

I Found This Note.

Isn't This Your Handwriting?

Yeah.

What Does It Say?

I'm Sorry, Mom. Rudy Was Pulling On My Arm.

"Jake Called. Emergency. Everything's Okay."

What's Okay?

Dad Is.

Jake Said Dad Wanted To Buy Everything He Saw

But Jake Wouldn't Let Him.

Good Old Jake.

Then Dad Started Begging And Pleading.

He Was Offering To Pay Regular Prices

For Stuff On Sale.

Hello.

Hey, Dad.

How Did Shopping Go?

I Got Exactly What I Was Going To Get.

A Simple, Basic Remote Control?

No More, No Less, My Dear.

You Didn't See Anything Else That Interested You?

No, But You Know Those Guys At Jake's.

They Try To Shove All Kinds Of Things

And Push Stuff At You.

I Told Them:

"Get Those Gadgets Out Of My Face."

How Do You Do It, Dad?

You Have To Have An Inner Strength.

It Comes With Age And Maturity.

I'll Have To Remember That.

You Weren't Tempted At All?

No. I Said, "Give Me The Simplest Remote You Have"

Put The Money Down--

Bam! Walked Out.

( Chuckling )

Jake Called.

Jake? Jake Who?

From The Appliance Store.

According To Him

There Was A Man In The Store Who Looked Like You

Who Was Begging Salespeople To Sell Him Anything.

Jake Said That?

Yeah, The Guy Was Offering

To Pay Regular Prices For Things On Sale.

I Saw The Guy...

And He Was Wandering Around The Store.

I Went Over And Talked To Him 'Cause I Felt Sorry For Him.

It Wasn't You?

No. The Guy Looked Like Me.

In Fact, I Pulled Him Aside

And Said: "What Seems To Be The Problem?"

So He Started Telling Me

About How He Had This Very Wicked Wife

Who Had Called Ahead And Told Everybody In The Store

Not To Sell Him Anything.

So Then He Started To Cry.

And I Said, "You Really Shouldn't Cry.

"You Should Go To Another Store

Where Your Wife Doesn't Know Anything About It."

And You Know What?

He Did.

I Forgot Batteries. They're Upstairs.

Excuse Me.

Wait. I Want To Know What This Man Bought.

He Went Out And Bought A Lot Of Stuff.

It's In The Trunk Of His Car.

Charged It All To His Wife's Credit Card.

Hey, Vanessa.

Hi.

How Was School?

Not Good.

What Happened To You?

Nothing. Where Are Mom And Dad?

They Went To The Store With Rudy.

Were You Playing Football?

I Was In A Fight.

What?! Where?

At School.

Vanessa, Wait.

Tell Me About This.

Vanessa!

You Actually Got Into A Fight?

Yes.

With Who?

These Two Girls.

Two?! Whoa!

Who Were They?

Two Girls S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S You Got Into A Fight

Your First Day On The Pep Squad?

Yeah-- Right Before The First Meeting.

That Must Be A School Record.

It Wasn't My Fault.

They Called Me Names.

What Did They Say?

"Rich Girl."

Okay.

What Do You Mean, "Okay"?!

They Called Me "Rich Girl" In Front Of Everybody.

You Fought Over That?

Vanessa, That's Stupid.

No, It's Not.

I Would Love For Someone To Call Me Rich--

Especially In Front Of Maxine Kirkwood.

I'd Be Set For Life.

I've Got To Talk To Mom And Dad.

You're Telling Them You Were In A Fight?

Sure. It's Their Fault.

They're The Ones Who Made Us Rich.

Vanessa, Did You Fall On Your Head?

( Knocking )

Vanessa, Have You Seen...

Theo, Time For Checkers.

No, Rudy. I Think We've Played Enough.

One More Game?

I'll Beat You Fast.

Okay, One Game.

Where Are Mom And Dad?

In The Kitchen.

I'm Going To Talk To Them.

What Happened To Her?

She Fell On Her Head.

Thank You, Dearie.

You're Welcome.

Mom, Dad, I Need To Talk To You.

What Happened?

I Had A Fight.

A Fight?!

Did You Win?

Vanessa, What Happened?

Two Girls At School Were Picking On Me.

What Did They Do To You?

They Called Me A "Rich Girl."

And?

When Paula And Cindy Were Here Yesterday

I Showed Them The House.

Today At The Pep Squad Meeting

They Told Linda And Donella About The Nice Things We Have.

Linda And Donella Said

Anyone Who Would Pay $11,000 For A Painting Is A Show-Off.

How Did They Know The Price?

Paula And Cindy Asked. I Told Them.

Why Did You Do That?

They Were Interested...

And They're On The Pep Squad And I Like Them.

You Wanted Them To Like You.

Yeah... But Paula And Cindy Didn't Start The Fight.

Linda And Donella Were The Ones

Who Said I Think I'm Better Than Everybody Else.

I Tried To Explain Why We Bought The Painting.

Then They Said Nasty Things Like "Stuck-Up Rich Girl."

I Told Them Not To Say That.

Suddenly, We're Rolling Around On The Floor.

You Took Both Of Them On?

I Didn't Mean To. It Just Happened.

All Right!

Mr. Morris Pulled Us Apart And Made Us Apologize.

If Mr. Morris Hadn't Stopped You

Do You Think You'd Have Beaten Both Of Them?

Paula And Cindy Were The Ones Who Got Me On The Pep Squad.

Now They Won't Want To Talk To Me.

None Of This Would Have Happened

If We Weren't So Rich.

Let Me Get Something Straight, Okay?

Your Mother And I Are Rich.

You Have Nothing.

You Can Tell Your Friends And Your Enemies That, Okay?

Your Father And I Aren't Rich.

We're Not?

No, Rich Is When Your Money Works For You

Not When You Work For The Money.

We Work Hard For The Money.

We're Proud Of What We Have

And We're Happy To Share It With You.

I Think I'd Be Better Off

If We Didn't Have So Much Money.

You're Using The Word "We."

If You Don't Want The Money, Tell Us That

And We Won't Give You Any.

Just Pay Us Back The $100,000 You Owe Us

And We'll Be Even.

I Have To Go To School With These Girls.

They'll Talk, And No One Will Want To Be My Friend.

Would You Make Friends With Someone Who Had More Than You?

Yeah.

How About Someone With Less Than You?

Yes.

You're Not The One With The Problem.

Friends Like You, Not For What You Have

But For Who You Are.

Do You Understand?

I Guess So.

Vanessa, I Hate To Tell You This

But Yes, You Are Rich.

She Is?

Not Because Of Things

But Because You Have A Family Who Loves You.

Thanks, Mom...

But When I Grow Up

I'm Not Going To Have So Much Money.

That Way, My Kids Won't Have Problems.

Vanessa?

Yeah?

These Poor Children

You're Going To Have

Please Don't Send Them Over To This House Begging.

Okay, All Set.

Go Get Dad.

Tell Him No One Will Play Checkers With You.

Can You Look Real Sad?

Yes.

Daddy, No One Will Play Checkers With Me.

Perfect!

Got It.

Go Get Him.

Cliff: Hey.

What Is This Face?

Rudy: Daddy, No One Will Play Checkers With Me.

Cliff: Oh... Peaches.

You Want Daddy To Play With You?

Okay. Daddy Will Play.

Don't Look So Sad.

My Goodness.

The Board's All Set Up.

You Playing?

Yeah.

Can I Watch?

Help Yourself.

You Get A Chance To Watch An Expert At Work.

Go First.

Thank You.

(♪ Humming ♪)

(♪ Humming ♪)

You Did This, Didn't You?

Did What?

You Set Me Up.

Dad, All I Can Say Is Good Luck.

It's Your Move.

I Know It's My Move.

(♪ Humming ♪)

Will You Look At That?!

There's A Robin Red Breast.

That's Nice.

He's Standing On The Head Of A Purple Alligator!

Yeah.

They're Getting Ready To Sing.

They Have On Tuxedos.

You're Not Interested?

Nope.

Hi, Mommy.

Thought I Saw Her.

King Me! King Me!