Original subtitles

The Troops Are Snoring.

Everything Downstairs Is Locked.

Good.

Cliff, This Planning For Your Parents' 50th Wedding Anniversary

Has Started Me Thinking.

We Have To Do Something Really Special

For Our 25th Anniversary.

But Dear, We've Been Married 22 Years.

What About The 23rd Anniversary?

You Just Don't Want To Whisk By That.

No, I Don't Want To Whisk By It.

You Just Went Right To The 25th.

I Mean, You Had The 23rd In Your Rearview Mirror.

The 23rd Was Sitting There On The Curb

With His Head Down, Just Saying

"I Don't Know Why She Doesn't Like Me."

"Just Because She Can't Divide Me By Five.

"I Mean, I'm An Anniversary

"And I'm A Good Anniversary

So Don't Be Putting That '25' In My Face."

Cliff, I Agree. Every Anniversary Is Special.

That's Right.

I'll Tell You Something Else--

This 23rd Anniversary Will Be The Best One You've Ever Had.

Is This So?

Absolutely.

You Have Something Planned?

That Is Correct.

Something Special.

That Is Correct.

What Is It?

I Don't Have To Tell You Everything.

Anna.

I Must Have Dozed Off.

Yes, You Did.

What Time Is It?

It's One Minute Past Midnight.

Tomorrow Is Today.

And Today Is Our Anniversary.

That's Right.

Happy...

50th Anniversary. 50th Anniversary.

This Is Jasmine.

With A Little Nutmeg.

Oh, Russell, You Devil.

Why? Just Because I Brought You Tea?

You Brought Me Jasmine Tea With Nutmeg On Our Wedding Night

And You Know It.

Yes, I Do.

You Brought It Up To The Room

And You Served It On A Silver Tray

With One Red Rose.

I Was Pretty Romantic That Night.

Ooh... Yes You Were.

Maybe This Time I Get To Finish The Tea.

Maybe Not.

What Time Is It, Dear?

It's Five After Midnight.

All Right.

I'm Going To Call Mother And Father

And Wish Them A Happy 50th Anniversary.

Now? It's A Little Late, Don't You Think?

Yeah, You're Probably Right.

They've Been Sleeping A Long Time By Now.

Listen!

I Just Made Up My Mind.

I Know Exactly What We'll Do On The 23rd Wedding Anniversary.

All Right, Cliff.

What Is It?

First Of All

We Get On The Plane And We Fly To Paris.

Meeting Us At The Plane

Is A Limousine

And Behind The Limousine Is A Truck.

The Truck Is Empty.

We Drive Into The Middle

Where All Of The Shops Happen To Be

And I Give You My Credit Card.

The Truck Follows You

As You Walk Up And Down The Street

Going In And Out Of Stores.

When You Finish With That Card, You Come Back To Me.

I Give You Another Card.

Now...

You've Got A Truck And A Limousine.

We Then Go To A Private Airport.

I Have A Plane That Is Rented.

The Limousine And The Truck Get Into This Plane.

We Then Fly To Italy.

The Truck, The Plane And The Limousine Stay There

While We Just Go To The Trevi Fountain

Take Our Shoes Off

And Walk Around.

Then We Go Back To The Airport

Where A Larger Plane Has The Small Plane, The Limousine

And The Truck.

Cliff, I Don't Need All That.

You Don't?

All I Need Is You.

Aw...

On Our 23rd Wedding Anniversary...

Uh-Huh.

All I Need Is You.

And That Trip To Paris.

Cliff: What Do You Think?

Rudy: Looks Good.

Thank You.

Daddy?

Uh-Huh?

How Come It's Called A "Golden" Anniversary?

It's Called A Golden Anniversary

Because Gold Is A Very Rare And Precious Metal

And To Be Married 50 Years Is Rare And Precious.

I'm Going To Be Married For 50 Years, Too.

Are You?

And Guess What Else?

What?

I'm Getting Married When I'm 23.

23.

And I'm Going To Have Two Children.

One Will Be A Boy And One Will Be A Girl.

All Right.

And I'll Have A Dog Named Tiffany.

And I'll Have A Husband Named Bud.

A Husband Named "Bud"?

Bud What?

Bud Huxtable.

Look Who's Here,

Hi, Denise!

(Zrbbt)

I Zrbbt You.

Right!

And I Zrbbt You...

(Zrbbt)

Too.

How's School?

It's Great.

Where's Sondra And Elvin?

They're Having A Discussion On Where To Park.

You Mean A Fight.

I Took The Bus To Princeton

So I Could Have A Nice Ride Home With Them.

Big Mistake.

They Fought The Entire Way.

They Fought Over Who Would Drive

Which Highway To Take

Where To Stop For Gas

When To Stop For Gas

Who Would Pump The Gas.

You Have To Talk To Them.

I Will.

Where's Mom?

In The Kitchen.

I'm Going To Go Say Hi.

Hi, Dad.

How Are You?

Fine.

Hi, Elvin.

Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

How's School? Fine.

How Was The Trip?

Nice. Nice.

Really?

It Was Wonderful-- A Lot Of Fun.

Excellent.

Probably The Best Trip I Have Ever Had.

How Can You Say That?

Dad, You Might As Well Know.

It Was A Miserable Trip. We Fought All The Way Home.

Yes, Okay.

We Decided Since We Were Visiting My Family

I'd Pay For Gas

But He Wouldn't Let Me Pump It.

Dr. Huxtable, That Is A Man's Job.

Elvin, There's No Such Thing As A "Man's Job."

Why Couldn't I Pump The Gas?

It Wouldn't Look Right.

I See.

I Can't Pump Gas

But You'll Have Me Make You A Sandwich?

That's Different.

How?

Pumping Gas Makes Your Hands Dirty And Smelly.

Women Should Not Smell Like Gasoline.

Women Should Smell Like... Sandwiches.

Elvin, That's Ridiculous.

No, It Isn't.

Yes, It Is.

No, It Isn't.

Yes, It Is.

May I Suggest Something?

Sure, Dad.

Why Don't You Get Away From Each Other For About An Hour

And Give Yourselves Time To Think About Your Relationship

And The Problems That You're Having

And Why You're Bringing Them Here.

All Right.

I'll Just Go Upstairs And Unpack.

Have A Good Time, Honey.

Elvin.

Yes.

Elvin.

Yes?

(Sigh Of Exasperation)

I Know, Sir. I Get On Sondra's Nerves.

You Get On Her Nerves

You Get In Her Nerves

You Get Around Her Nerves.

I Know, Sir, But I'm Confused About My Duties As A Man.

Your Duties?

What I'm Supposed To Do And What I'm Not Supposed To Do.

If I Offer To Take Sondra's Luggage

She Says, "I Can Do This Myself."

But If I Don't Open A Door For Her

She Gets Angry And Calls Me Inconsiderate.

Please, Dr. Huxtable, Tell Me-- What Is My Job?

Your Job Is To Get Out.

Sir?

No. I Don't Mean To Leave The House.

Thank You.

I'm Saying

The Luggage Is There.

You Go To Pick It Up.

She Says, "Elvin, I Can Handle That Myself."

It's Time For You To Go To The Door.

You Go To Open The Door.

She Says, "Elvin, I Can Do It Myself."

You Got It?

Dad? Yes, Dear?

Oh, Hi, Elvin.

Hi, Vanessa.

Mom Needs Help With A Jar That Won't Open.

I'll Do It.

Well, Thanks.

Elvin.

Hello, Mrs. Huxtable.

Hi, Elvin.

I Understand You're Having Jar Trouble.

Allow Me.

It's Like Cement.

That's No Problem.

This Is One Job I'm Not Confused About.

What Do You Mean?

This Is A Man's Job.

What's A Man's Job?

Opening A Jar When A Woman Can't Do It.

Really? I Didn't Know That.

My Hands Must Be A Little Slippery.

Thank You.

Having Trouble, Elvin?

I'm Not Done Yet.

You Know, Elvin

If Opening A Jar Is A Man's Job And You Can't Do It...

Hey, Mom.

Sondra. Hi.

Hey.

Hi. Hi.

What Are You Doing?

I'm Opening A Jar For Your Mom.

He's Been Opening It For Five Minutes.

Well, Let Me Try.

I Can Do It.

No, Come On, Elvin...

Sondra, I'm Perfectly Capable...

There You Go, Mom.

Thanks, Sondra.

You're A Real Man.

Cliff, Relax.

They'll Be Here Any Minute.

Well, That's That.

How's It Going?

We Finished The Salad.

Sondra And I Made A Vow Not To Fight Tonight.

We Discussed Things

And I Promised To Be More Sensitive

To The Way She Feels.

I'm Happy For You.

All Set.

I'll Help Out In The Kitchen.

Wait, Sondra.

What, Elvin?

You Look Stunning.

Thank You.

That Dress Really Accentuates Your Beauty.

I've Never Seen You Look So Radiant.

Elvin...

Yes?

This Is The Fourth Time You've Seen Me In This Dress.

It Is?

Obviously, The First Three Times Meant Nothing To You.

They Meant A Lot To Me.

I Just Don't Remember Them.

Elvin.

I Know, Sir.

I Didn't Go...

No, No, No, No, No.

Elvin, You Never, Never Say You Didn't Remember.

Never.

Never.

Uh-Uh.

Okay.

How Long Do You Think That Relationship Will Last?

Forever.

(Doorbell)

Who Is It?

It's Your Mother.

No, It's Some Old People Married 50 Years.

Happy Anniversary.

♪ Happy Anniversary. ♪

Happy Anniversary To You.

Where Are Our Beautiful Grandchildren?

They're In The Kitchen Cooking Dinner.

I Want To See Them.

Yes.

Listen.

Last Night--

After Midnight--

We Wanted To Call

But We Figured You Were Probably Sleeping.

We Didn't Want To Wake You.

We Were Awake.

Way Past Midnight.

Get Caught Up In One Of Those Late-Night Movies?

Nope.

You Were Playing Cards?

No.

Were You Reading?

Well, What Were You Doing?

Mmm...

Well, Now, Anna

I Want To Know The Truth.

Can I Expect The Same From That One?

Till The Grave.

Wonderful Dinner.

That Shrimp Creole Was Delicious.

Are You Two Ready To Dance The Night Away

To The Count Basie Orchestra?

Yes, But Are We Leaving Now?

We Have To.

We Have Reservations.

As I Recall, Last Year After Dinner

The Whole Family Performed A Song.

We Loved That.

We Didn't Have Time To Put One Together This Year.

Heathcliff, We Want Our Song.

You Heard Clair.

There's No Song.

Now, Get Out.

We're Not Going Anywhere Until We Get Our Song.

You Sit Here.

You'll Have A Fine View When They Start.

Okay, But, Uh...

Okay, Okay, There Is A Song.

I Knew It.

What Is It This Year?

Another Ray Charles Number?

One From "Old Blue Eyes"?

Gene Autry Singing "Back In The Saddle Again."

I Like Him.

It Isn't Gene Autry.

This Year It's Anna's Favorite Singer--

James Brown.

And A One, Two...

One, Two, Three, Four.

(♪Musical Introduction♪)

♪ Ah-Ha-Ha-Ha! ♪

♪ I Got That Feelin' ♪

♪Baby, Baby, I Got That Feelin' ♪

♪ You Don't Know ♪

♪ What You Do To Me ♪

♪ Leave My Heart Heavy And Down In Misery ♪

♪ Hey... ♪

♪ All Right ♪

♪ Ow! ♪

♪ Hey, Hey... ♪

♪ Ow! ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪I Got That Feelin', Baby ♪

♪ Can't Help It ♪

♪ All Right! ♪

♪ Baby, Baby, Baby ♪

♪ Baby, Baby, Baby ♪

♪ Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby ♪

♪ I Got That Feelin', Baby ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Sometimes I'm Up ♪

♪ Sometimes I'm Down ♪

♪ My Heart... ♪

♪ I'm A Rounder Down ♪

♪ I'm Level With The Ground ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ I Said Level With The Ground ♪

♪ Hey, Baby ♪

(Grunt)

(Grunt)

(Grunt)

(Grunt)

♪ Waaaaaa... ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ I Got That Feelin', Baby ♪

♪ Can't Help It ♪

♪ All Right ♪

♪ Baby, Baby, Baby ♪

♪ Baby, Baby, Baby ♪

♪ Baby, Baby, Baby ♪

♪ Baby, Baby ♪

♪ I Want To... ♪

♪ I Want To... ♪

(Grunt)

♪ Oh! ♪

♪ Wa-Wa-Waaaa! ♪

Happy Anniversary!

(♪Big Band Music♪)

Bandleader: Thank You Very Much.

Ladies And Gentlemen, We Have With Us Tonight

One Of The Original Members Of "The Jazz Caravan"--

None Other Than Mr. Slide Huxtable.

(Applause)

He's Here With His Lovely Wife, Anna

Celebrating Their 50th Wedding Anniversary.

(Drum Roll)

Their Son Told Me...

I Assume He's Trustworthy...

That Their Favorite Basie Tune Is "Shiny Stockings."

We're Going To Play That Tune

If The Huxtables Will Lead Off In The Dancing.

(♪"Shiny Stockings"♪)