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1
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,510
Ah ha ha ha!
2
00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:32,892
Oh, hello kiddies.
3
00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:37,897
Tonight's coffin caper is so
crammed with ghastly greed
4
00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:41,401
sickening sex
and vomitus violence.
5
00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:44,404
That parental guidance
is advised.
6
00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:49,409
So guide your parents out of the
room so we can have some fun.
7
00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:51,411
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
8
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:54,914
This tale concerns
a gambling man
9
00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:57,917
with a bad case
of double vision
10
00:01:57,917 --> 00:02:00,420
who's about to hit
thehackpot.
11
00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:03,223
I call this
twin helping of horror...
12
00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:06,726
Split personality.
13
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,473
♪♪ Ah, the buzzard
took the monkey ♪♪
14
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:21,908
♪♪ for a ride in the air ♪♪
15
00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:23,910
♪♪ the monkey thought
that everything ♪♪
16
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:25,411
♪♪ was on the square ♪♪
17
00:02:25,411 --> 00:02:27,480
♪♪ the buzzard tried
to throw the monkey ♪♪
18
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,481
♪♪ off his back ♪♪
19
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,951
♪♪ the monkey grabbed his neck
and said, "now, listen, Jack" ♪♪
20
00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:34,988
♪♪ "straighten up
and fly right" ♪♪
21
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:38,491
♪♪ "straighten up
and fly right" ♪♪
22
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,994
♪♪ "straighten up
and fly right" ♪♪
23
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,997
♪♪ "oh, cool down, papa,
don't you blow your top" ♪♪
24
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,498
♪♪ well, the buzzard
told the monkey ♪♪
25
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,500
♪♪ "you are choking me" ♪♪
26
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:50,503
♪♪ "release your hold,
and I'll set you free" ♪♪
27
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:53,506
♪♪ the monkey looked the buzzard
right dead in the eye ♪♪
28
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:57,010
♪♪ said, "your story's touching,
but it sounds like a lie" ♪♪
29
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,288
Hit me.
30
00:03:10,089 --> 00:03:12,292
I'm sorry.
I'm new at this.
31
00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:16,362
These green chips are
worth $5.00, right?
32
00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:17,830
$50, sir.
33
00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:18,765
No, no, no.
34
00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:22,468
I made a mistake
I meant to bet 5.
35
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,304
The bet's
on the table.
36
00:03:24,637 --> 00:03:25,572
I made a mistake.
37
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,207
The bet's on the table.
38
00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:30,476
I made a mistake.
I can't afford
this much.
39
00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:32,478
I'm sorry, sir.
House rules.
40
00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:35,682
There's nothing
I can do.
41
00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:40,887
Hit me.
42
00:03:43,256 --> 00:03:44,824
19.
Dealer could have 20.
43
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:47,794
Would you like
another card, sir?
44
00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:49,862
Uh...You're not
going to believe this,
45
00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:52,365
but my kid, you know...
46
00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:55,335
He can't take
care of himself.
47
00:03:55,768 --> 00:03:57,337
Now they tell me
48
00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:58,638
he has
this kidney thing.
49
00:03:58,838 --> 00:04:00,673
The insurance
won't cover it
50
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:04,244
because I had trouble
in the army, in nam.
51
00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:06,479
Would you like
another card, sir?
52
00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:13,253
Go ahead.
53
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:17,423
You make Blackjack
on the next card,
54
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:20,393
the house pays
5 to 1.
55
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:23,096
If he gives me a 2.
56
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,365
100 says it is.
57
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:27,367
You got
more to lose?
58
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,869
Uh, what the hell.
59
00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:30,370
Uh, what the hell.
60
00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:34,207
Deal me a 2.
61
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,018
Hey.
62
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:46,019
Hey.
63
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:48,021
Heh heh heh!
64
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:48,988
There.
65
00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:50,356
Whoa, whoa.
66
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:53,459
No, that's for your
boys operation.
67
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,361
Are you kidding I didn't
understand the game.
68
00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:57,430
No. I can't take it.
69
00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:59,899
No. It's the least I can do.
70
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,309
I don't know what
to say, Dan.
71
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,777
Don.
72
00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:12,278
Don.
73
00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:14,814
Listen, don.
74
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,818
It's very kind of you,
but I cannot accept it.
75
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,286
You keep that.
76
00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:23,623
My gut says you
need that more than I.
77
00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:24,957
My gut never lies,
78
00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:27,927
like knowing that 2
was waiting for you.
79
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:30,463
Let me tell you,
2's my lucky number.
80
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:34,467
The best things in life
come in twos, understand?
81
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:38,604
The best things in
life comes in twos.
82
00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:40,673
Make it two doubles.
83
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,677
Look, don.
84
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:47,680
I'm not going
to lie to you.
85
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,183
I'm not in great
financial shape,
86
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,552
but I can still
call a favor.
87
00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:56,622
I know you need a wad
for your medical expenses,
88
00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:57,957
so here's the deal.
89
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:02,295
I got an inside line
90
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:06,299
on a no-risk, tax-free,
limited-partnership investment
91
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:08,768
guaranteed
to double our money.
92
00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:10,603
Minimum--10 grand.
93
00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:14,173
You keep that cash.
Write me a personal check.
94
00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:17,176
Give me your address
and your phone number.
95
00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:20,580
Inside two weeks,
we're sitting pretty.
96
00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:22,648
Your boy
gets his operation.
97
00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:24,817
Friends doing
each other a favor.
98
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:26,919
What do you say, Dan?
99
00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:28,421
Don.
100
00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:33,960
And how would you
like that, sir?
101
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:37,730
Hundreds
will be just fine.
102
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:44,804
Always a pleasure,
Jimmy.
103
00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:48,307
Don't mention it, slick.
104
00:06:50,309 --> 00:06:53,679
I got to get out
of this shit hole.
105
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:57,049
I'm sorry tired
of dodging feds.
106
00:06:57,049 --> 00:07:00,052
Sweet-talking
old ladies
107
00:07:00,052 --> 00:07:02,054
out of their
rainy-day cash.
108
00:07:05,057 --> 00:07:07,059
One of these days.
109
00:07:07,059 --> 00:07:10,062
One of these days,
I'm going to settle down.
110
00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:13,065
I'm going to make
that big con.
111
00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:15,067
Who knows...
112
00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:18,070
Maybe I'll even get married.
113
00:07:20,072 --> 00:07:22,675
Did you pay me to fuck
or listen to your life story?
114
00:07:22,675 --> 00:07:25,211
Shut up!
Shut the fuck up!
115
00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:29,182
I pay you to be,
what ever.
116
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:29,682
I pay you to be,
what ever.
117
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:38,624
I remember
the first time
I saw that picture
118
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:41,127
the parent trap
with hayley mills.
119
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:46,132
I used to pop a Woody
every time I saw
those two do a scene.
120
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:52,138
I always wanted to
make it with twins.
121
00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:58,244
♪♪ Caterina ♪♪
122
00:07:58,244 --> 00:08:00,246
♪♪ oh ho ho ♪♪
123
00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:01,747
♪♪ oh ho ho ♪♪
124
00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:04,750
♪♪ when we kiss,
pretty miss, pretty miss ♪♪
125
00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:07,086
♪♪ I'm in ecstasy ♪♪
126
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:08,888
♪♪ si, si, si, si ♪♪
127
00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:11,924
♪♪ oh, how happy
my life would be ♪♪
128
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:15,428
♪♪ if I knew that
you loved just me ♪♪
129
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:17,430
♪♪ say it's true ♪♪
130
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:19,432
♪♪ say you do ♪♪
131
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:22,435
♪♪ caterina ♪♪♪♪
132
00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:39,285
Son of a bitch!
133
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:50,296
Talk about a warm welcome.
134
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:20,726
What the fuck is
this piece of shit.
135
00:09:39,845 --> 00:09:41,514
Come in.
136
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:44,584
Thank you.
Don't mind if I do.
137
00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:48,054
Hello?
138
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:12,278
"Etchyson dobbs Blair."
139
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:15,648
What a goofy looking
fuck he was.
140
00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:17,617
Don't move!
141
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:21,420
Unless you want your brains
all over daddy's picture.
142
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:24,423
How did you
get in here anyways?
143
00:10:24,423 --> 00:10:25,925
Take it easy, o.K.?
144
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:28,327
I just had
a little accident.
145
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,163
I just want to
make a phone call.
146
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:32,465
I promise.
147
00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:44,410
I'm April.
148
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:45,811
That's June.
149
00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:47,513
What happened
to may?
150
00:10:47,713 --> 00:10:48,547
[Cocks gun]
151
00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:49,815
Excuse me.
152
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:53,219
Pardon my attempt
at a little levity.
153
00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:55,521
I'll just use
the telephone, o.K.?
154
00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:56,589
Don't do nothing.
155
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,090
Thank you.
Thank you.
156
00:10:58,090 --> 00:10:59,091
See?
157
00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:02,361
I just want
to use the phone.
158
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:03,996
You have
a beautiful home.
159
00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:07,500
Next to
the case observatory
up in oak valley,
160
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,002
I think
that this house
might be Blair's
161
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,004
greatest
architectural
achievement.
162
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:14,607
German expression
eastern influence,
163
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:17,576
50's futurism.
164
00:11:17,576 --> 00:11:19,912
You knew who
our father was?
You knew who
our father was?
165
00:11:19,912 --> 00:11:23,015
Are you kidding?
The man was a genius.
166
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:25,785
If you look
atwho's who
in architecture,
167
00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:27,787
your father's
the only listing.
168
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,288
I don't know anybody
169
00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:32,091
who took the influence
of the bauhaus school
170
00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:35,628
and adapted it better
to his own unique style.
171
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:38,097
The guy was
unbelievable.
172
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:39,398
I need a tow truck.
173
00:11:39,398 --> 00:11:41,634
Do that later.
174
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,436
You've been
in an accident.
175
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,938
Well, it wasn't
a serious accident.
176
00:11:45,938 --> 00:11:47,440
What's your name again?
177
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,441
I'm April.
178
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:49,942
A pleasure. And you?
179
00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:51,444
June.
180
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,779
Very nice
to see you.
181
00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:55,648
We don't have
many visitors.
182
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:58,651
Really? Girls
as beautiful as you two?
183
00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:01,153
I find that
hard to believe.
184
00:12:01,153 --> 00:12:04,023
The occasional
architectural
journal, but...
185
00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:05,891
Most people
think we're naive.
186
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,828
They'd love to
take advantage of us.
187
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,797
You didn't know
we were worth
2 billion?
188
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,102
[Cough]
189
00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:18,170
So there I was at sotherby's.
190
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:19,972
When my good friend,
Preston chatfield.
191
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:21,841
The hyannis port, chatfields.
192
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:27,346
And I was ready to make a bid
on this exquisite lamp.
193
00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:32,017
And all of a sudden I noticed
a tiniest scratch on the finish.
194
00:12:32,017 --> 00:12:35,454
I said, oh, my cat
did that two years ago.
195
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,356
That lamp used to be
in my collection.
196
00:12:37,356 --> 00:12:38,424
Could you imagine.
197
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,426
Do you like cats?
198
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:41,360
Do I like cats?
199
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:45,498
Sometimes I trust cats
more than I do people.
200
00:12:49,034 --> 00:12:49,902
[ Knocking on glass ]
201
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:53,773
Somebody call for a toe truck?
202
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,609
I knew it was
too good to last.
203
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:02,047
Well, ladies thank you
very much for your hospitality.
204
00:13:04,016 --> 00:13:07,019
I hope I didn't cause
too much of an inconvenience.
205
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,389
I am truly humbled.
206
00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:12,057
Mr. stetson?
207
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,694
My sister and I...
208
00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:17,196
If you'd care
to come by again.
209
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:22,001
I figured I must of died
and went to heaven.
210
00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:25,571
At first I couldn't figure
out why a couple
rich babes like that
211
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:27,072
holed up like hermits?
212
00:13:27,072 --> 00:13:31,577
Hey, when fish come to you
already in a barrel,
213
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:34,079
a guy can't complain
too much.
214
00:13:34,079 --> 00:13:36,582
So, I went to work.
215
00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:44,089
♪♪ Everybody loves somebody
sometime ♪♪
216
00:13:44,089 --> 00:13:50,095
♪♪ everybody
falls in love somehow ♪♪
217
00:13:50,095 --> 00:13:55,601
♪♪ something in your kiss
just told me ♪♪
218
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:57,102
♪♪ my sometime... ♪♪
219
00:13:57,102 --> 00:14:00,105
[Meow]
220
00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:01,607
And slowly but surely,
221
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:06,111
they started to come out
of the shells they were in.
222
00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:08,113
Icebergs
starting to thaw out.
223
00:14:08,113 --> 00:14:14,119
♪♪ There's no telling
where love may appear ♪♪
224
00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:19,625
♪♪ something in my heart
keeps saying... ♪♪♪♪
225
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:23,162
I was reeling them in,
all right.
226
00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:25,664
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
227
00:14:25,664 --> 00:14:29,134
I only wish
there were two of him.
228
00:14:29,134 --> 00:14:32,638
Then the day came
I had to make my move.
229
00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:35,641
I had to get
each of them alone.
230
00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:37,676
And when I did,
231
00:14:38,143 --> 00:14:40,179
that's when things
got real interesting.
232
00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:50,623
You see, daddy
designed both bedrooms
exactly alike...
233
00:14:51,123 --> 00:14:53,626
Like two sides
of a mirror.
234
00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:56,128
Kind of like
me and June.
235
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:57,630
Oh, yeah?
236
00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:58,631
Mm-hmm.
237
00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:00,633
Where is June
anyway?
238
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,635
April?
Oh, she went out.
239
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:06,639
Hasn't been
out of the house
in months.
240
00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:08,140
June's always been
241
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:11,143
a little more outgoing
than me, anyway.
242
00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:14,647
We never
needed to go out
before daddy died.
243
00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:16,649
We fought over him
constantly,
244
00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:19,151
but now we have
each other.
245
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:22,154
You two
are pretty close,
aren't you?
246
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,156
Inseparable.
247
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,659
Until now.
248
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,160
She seems sweet.
249
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,330
Oh, she is...
Unless you cross her.
250
00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:32,197
Come again?
251
00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:33,732
Well, I mean,
252
00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:36,769
everyone
has a dark side,
don't they?
253
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:38,604
The side
you don't see.
254
00:15:39,171 --> 00:15:40,539
She's got
a temper, huh?
255
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:42,441
Almost like
a split personality.
256
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:46,779
I can't see your sister
or you hurting a fly.
257
00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:48,314
You don't know.
258
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:51,383
Look, I would never
say this to her,
259
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:54,887
so it's got to be
our little secret, o.K.?
260
00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:57,489
My sister and I
don't have secrets.
261
00:15:58,057 --> 00:16:01,226
We share everything...
50-50.
262
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,796
But this might
hurt her feelings.
263
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,498
You don't want that,
do you?
264
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:12,137
See, I'm afraid you two
ain't exactly identical.
265
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,340
What do you mean?
266
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:17,042
One of you
is a little
more beautiful
267
00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:19,345
than the other.
268
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:26,385
No offense, but for
a couple of wallflowers
269
00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:28,387
who don't get out much,
270
00:16:28,387 --> 00:16:31,590
these two make you
look like a nun.
271
00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:32,057
These two make you
look like a nun.
272
00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:38,864
I got them
in the palm of my hand.
273
00:16:39,431 --> 00:16:42,901
Either one would marry me
in a New York minute.
274
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:46,472
All I got to do
is pop the question.
275
00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:50,476
But that only gets me
half the fortune.
276
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:54,480
They both got equal say
in every cent--
277
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,483
50-50.
278
00:16:57,483 --> 00:17:03,489
The only way I can get it all
is if I marry both of them.
279
00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:04,990
Ppfft.
280
00:17:05,991 --> 00:17:09,995
And the only way
I could do that...
281
00:17:09,995 --> 00:17:11,997
Huh...
282
00:17:11,997 --> 00:17:16,502
Is if there were...
283
00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:18,303
Two of me!
284
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:19,605
Twin brother?
Twin brother?
285
00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:24,543
I was embarrassed
to bring it up till now.
286
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,111
What's his name?
287
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:28,614
His name is Jack.
He's in South Africa.
288
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:30,115
We have
holdings there.
289
00:17:30,682 --> 00:17:34,853
Business demands that one of us
stay there at all times.
290
00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:35,821
He stays there a month.
291
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:38,657
I spot him the next.
292
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:40,125
This means...
293
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:41,026
You're leaving?
294
00:17:41,026 --> 00:17:42,628
I'm afraid so.
295
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:43,762
It's only for a month.
296
00:17:44,329 --> 00:17:46,932
My brother will be home
in a few days.
297
00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:48,267
I told him about you two.
298
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:50,836
Maybe he could drop by
for a little visit?
299
00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:55,541
But, I must warn you,
he's more out going than I am.
300
00:17:55,541 --> 00:17:57,042
He's not as educated
or well spoken.
301
00:17:57,042 --> 00:18:00,045
You know he talks that
California jargon.
302
00:18:00,546 --> 00:18:02,047
And he's very flamboyant.
303
00:18:02,047 --> 00:18:02,448
And he's very flamboyant.
304
00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:10,856
Whoa, ladies.
305
00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:14,526
Vic told me
you were radical babes,
306
00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:16,028
but I must confess
307
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:19,098
to being totally stoked
and overwhelmed, you dig?
308
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,566
Hee hee!
Hee hee!
309
00:18:20,566 --> 00:18:23,535
Ha ha ha!
310
00:18:23,535 --> 00:18:26,538
♪♪ I'm too sexy
for Milan ♪♪
311
00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:29,074
♪♪ too sexy for Milan ♪♪
312
00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:31,076
Do you,
April dobbs Blair,
313
00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:34,079
take this man
to have and to hold
314
00:18:34,079 --> 00:18:36,048
in sickness and in health
315
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:39,051
as long as you
both shall live?
316
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:40,552
I do.
317
00:18:46,091 --> 00:18:48,060
Do you,
June etchyson Blair,
318
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:51,063
take this man
to honor and cherish
319
00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:53,065
in sickness and in health
320
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:56,068
as long as you
both shall live?
321
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,569
I do.
322
00:18:57,569 --> 00:19:00,072
By the powers
vested in me,
323
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:02,975
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
324
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:06,044
Bingo.
325
00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:35,407
Ho! Hey!
Shut that!
326
00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:36,909
Charlie chan,
excuse me.
327
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:39,244
I don't mean
to intrude,
328
00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:42,614
but I'd like to
catch a few zzzs.
329
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:48,020
Do you mind?
Go play someplace
else, o.K.?
330
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,521
Charming.
331
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,860
See? Nice and quiet,
calm, serene.
332
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,361
It's beautiful.
333
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,964
Thank you very much.
334
00:19:58,964 --> 00:19:59,965
Ha ha ha!
335
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,535
[Muttering]
336
00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:07,606
Life's a bitch,
ain't it, wong?
337
00:20:11,476 --> 00:20:14,513
♪♪ April love
is for the very young ♪♪♪♪
338
00:20:14,513 --> 00:20:17,216
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
339
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:20,219
That we can
put the past behind us?
340
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,720
We deserve
to be happy.
341
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,557
Daddy would have
wanted it this way.
342
00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:27,559
I wish
both our husbands
343
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:30,762
could be with us
at the same time.
344
00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:34,800
We could always share.
345
00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:54,219
Darling, why can't I come
with you to South Africa?
346
00:20:54,219 --> 00:20:57,856
I told you it's hot,
it's sticky, you'd hate it.
347
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,861
When's your brother
coming back anyways?
348
00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:05,364
June misses him so much,
she's beside herself.
349
00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:09,368
Tomorrow night.
Why is this drawer
always locked?
350
00:21:09,368 --> 00:21:11,370
What the hell's
in it, anyway?
351
00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:13,372
Where's my shirt?
352
00:21:14,873 --> 00:21:16,875
Oh. Thank you.
353
00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:20,212
Honey.
354
00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:21,680
What?
355
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,682
Your back.
356
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:26,685
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I got a little sunburn.
357
00:21:26,685 --> 00:21:29,688
Sun's a lot hotter
in South Africa.
358
00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:32,557
I'll tell you,
the man is an animal.
359
00:21:32,557 --> 00:21:36,428
Last night, he tied me
to the bed when we...
360
00:21:36,428 --> 00:21:37,429
You know.
361
00:21:37,429 --> 00:21:40,432
And it wasn't
the first time either.
362
00:21:40,432 --> 00:21:41,933
You're kidding.
363
00:21:41,933 --> 00:21:44,436
Vic does that
to me, too.
364
00:21:44,436 --> 00:21:45,904
No!
365
00:21:47,406 --> 00:21:50,342
They're alike in
all sorts of ways.
366
00:21:50,342 --> 00:21:53,278
When Jack took off
his shirt for bed,
367
00:21:53,278 --> 00:21:55,247
his back was all tanned
368
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:59,084
except for this
little pale strip.
369
00:21:59,084 --> 00:22:00,419
You're kidding.
370
00:22:00,419 --> 00:22:03,155
Just before vic
left for South Africa,
371
00:22:03,622 --> 00:22:05,157
he sunburned
his back.
372
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:06,658
He had the same...
373
00:22:08,026 --> 00:22:09,828
Thing.
374
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:16,001
[ Jack singing ]
375
00:22:55,273 --> 00:22:57,642
♪♪
♪♪ I'm too sexy for my hair
376
00:22:57,642 --> 00:22:59,644
♪♪ too sexy
for this earring ♪♪
377
00:22:59,644 --> 00:23:00,612
♪♪ too sexy ♪♪
378
00:23:00,612 --> 00:23:03,615
♪♪ I'm too sexy
for this house ♪♪
379
00:23:03,615 --> 00:23:04,616
♪♪ too sexy-- ♪♪♪♪
380
00:23:04,616 --> 00:23:06,118
Hey, honey!
381
00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:09,121
You two bitching babes
better be getting dressed!
382
00:23:09,121 --> 00:23:13,325
I'm taking you out for
the most awesome feast ever!
383
00:23:44,790 --> 00:23:46,358
Get the fuck out.
384
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:49,728
"Twins acquitted
of father's death
385
00:23:49,728 --> 00:23:51,263
by juvenile court."
386
00:23:51,763 --> 00:23:54,499
You got to be fucking kidding!
387
00:24:05,043 --> 00:24:06,044
Hey.
388
00:24:06,044 --> 00:24:07,546
What the fuck is this?
389
00:24:07,546 --> 00:24:08,547
What's going on?
390
00:24:08,547 --> 00:24:10,549
Hey, what are you doing?
391
00:24:10,549 --> 00:24:12,083
What the fuck you doing?
392
00:24:12,083 --> 00:24:14,553
Let me go.
Let me go.
393
00:24:16,488 --> 00:24:18,390
Hello, darling.
Hello, darling.
394
00:24:18,390 --> 00:24:20,759
O.K., so I loved
you both.
395
00:24:20,759 --> 00:24:23,061
What was I
supposed to do?
396
00:24:23,061 --> 00:24:24,863
Didn't I
make you happy?
397
00:24:24,863 --> 00:24:26,798
Didn't I make you happy?
398
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:29,234
I don't know what happened
to your father.
399
00:24:29,234 --> 00:24:31,870
I'm not saying
you did anything.
400
00:24:31,870 --> 00:24:34,139
Even if you did, what the
fuck is the difference?
401
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:35,740
What do I care?
402
00:24:35,740 --> 00:24:39,077
Girls, you were
frivolous little kids.
403
00:24:39,077 --> 00:24:42,247
Who gives a shit
what you did?
404
00:24:42,781 --> 00:24:43,882
We did do it.
405
00:24:44,449 --> 00:24:45,984
We shared
everything.
406
00:24:46,551 --> 00:24:49,054
We didn't want
to share him anymore.
407
00:24:49,554 --> 00:24:50,856
It was too hard.
408
00:24:51,423 --> 00:24:52,491
We were
too selfish.
409
00:24:53,058 --> 00:24:55,560
Like now.
410
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,562
Where are you going?
411
00:24:58,129 --> 00:24:59,130
Where's she going?
412
00:24:59,631 --> 00:25:02,334
Where's she going?
Hey! Hey!
413
00:25:02,601 --> 00:25:03,535
What's she doing?
414
00:25:03,535 --> 00:25:05,303
I'm going to let her
do the honors.
415
00:25:05,604 --> 00:25:06,671
What honors?
416
00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:08,974
She was always
the more outgoing one,
417
00:25:08,974 --> 00:25:10,976
right, Jack?
418
00:25:18,884 --> 00:25:20,318
Hey!
419
00:25:20,318 --> 00:25:22,621
Hey!
420
00:25:23,121 --> 00:25:24,923
Screwballs!
421
00:25:24,923 --> 00:25:26,224
I didn't mean that.
422
00:25:26,224 --> 00:25:28,760
I didn't mean that.
Come on.
423
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,029
Get out of here with that!
424
00:25:31,296 --> 00:25:32,731
Are you crazy?
425
00:25:43,708 --> 00:25:45,610
♪♪ Ah, the buzzard
took a monkey ♪♪
426
00:25:45,610 --> 00:25:47,078
♪♪ for a ride in the air ♪♪
427
00:25:47,078 --> 00:25:49,114
It's all right now, honey.
428
00:25:49,114 --> 00:25:50,615
It's all right.
429
00:25:50,615 --> 00:25:52,117
♪♪ The buzzard tried
to throw the monkey ♪♪
430
00:25:52,617 --> 00:25:53,618
♪♪ off his back ♪♪
431
00:25:53,618 --> 00:25:57,122
♪♪ the monkey grabbed his neck
and said, "now, listen, Jack" ♪♪
432
00:25:57,122 --> 00:26:00,091
♪♪ "straighten up
and fly right" ♪♪
433
00:26:00,625 --> 00:26:03,628
Everything's going to be
all right from now on.
434
00:26:03,628 --> 00:26:05,597
♪♪ "Straighten up
and fly right" ♪♪
435
00:26:05,597 --> 00:26:09,634
♪♪ "oh, cool down, papa,
don't you blow your top" ♪♪♪♪
436
00:26:28,820 --> 00:26:34,859
I guess, vino vic,
thought he could double
his fun and his bank account.
437
00:26:34,859 --> 00:26:36,861
To bad he was only
half right.
438
00:26:37,362 --> 00:26:40,865
Oh well, it just proves
the old saying.
439
00:26:41,366 --> 00:26:43,368
Behind every bad man
440
00:26:43,868 --> 00:26:45,870
there's two woman
441
00:26:45,870 --> 00:26:47,372
with a chain saw!
442
00:26:47,872 --> 00:26:49,874
Ha ha ha ha ha!
443
00:26:51,876 --> 00:26:56,381
So, kiddies, care for
a littlemaimof chance?
444
00:26:56,381 --> 00:27:00,385
Deads,I win,
tails, youooze!
445
00:27:00,385 --> 00:27:02,887
Ah ha ha ha!
28747
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