Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ love exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ love is life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ love won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ welcome aboard, it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

♪ welcome aboard, it's love ♪

Attention, please.

We arrive in Los Angeles at 7:00 tomorrow morning.

Work crews will be coming aboard

to redecorate our ship,

so we ask all passengers to please disembark by 9:00.

Tonight, there will be dancing and the midnight buffet

to help celebrate the end of what we hope has been

an enjoyable cruise for all of you.

[ Low-tempo music plays ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

A Day in Port

Mm.

[ Sighs ]

When I drew you as my ping-pong partner

two days ago...

[ Chuckles ]

...i never dreamed it would end up like this.

Oh, neither did I.

It's too bad it has to end when we dock tomorrow.

No.

Why does it have to end?

You have a day off tomorrow,

and I'd like you to spend it with me.

Unless, of course, you have other plans.

Well, I did have a date with Robert redford.

[ Sighs ]

But I can tell him I have to wash my hair.

Do that.

Do that.

You do that.

Oh.

Didi, didi -- isn't she that girl

who moved from england to anaheim

because they have such great amusement parks?

Yeah, yeah. We get together once a year.

I give her the grand tour.

We usually warm up at marineland.

And then, we shift into second gear

at knott's Berry farm.

And then, by the time we get to the fireworks display

at Disneyland...

She's ready for a few fireworks of her own.

And, doc, this is one girl

that can really light your firecracker.

Mm-hmm. [ Whistles ]

[ Imitates firecracker exploding ]

[ Chuckles ]

Uh-oh, looks like your supply of Yoo-hoos is running low.

[ Chuckles ] Thanks, Isaac.

You know, these remind me of my childhood.

I remember, every Saturday morning,

right after "rocky and bullwinkle,"

I'd ride down to the store and get one of these.

Yeah, on your bicycle?

Well, no, I --

I had this little electric Ferrari,

little driving gloves. It was great.

Oh.

Those were the days.

Vicki, you're gonna spend your entire day off shopping?

Sure, to celebrate.

I just paid off all the bills I ran up on your credit card.

[ Laughs ]

Are you going ashore tomorrow, captain?

Uh, no, I have to stay on board and supervise the face-lift

the line has ordered for the ship.

The line wants everything to go shipshape tomorrow night.

They've invited the press and a lot of celebrities

to see the first performance of the mermaids.

You know, with eight gorgeous dancers on board,

my wardrobe is going to have to be pretty spectacular.

Hm.

Does anybody know what time neiman Marcus opens?

[ Clears throat ] 10:00 every day but Sunday.

♪ ♪

Welcome to Los Angeles.

We hope you've enjoyed your cruise.

And, on behalf of the entire crew,

we wish you a safe trip home.

Well, Mr. Simpson, I'm glad I was able

to help you get your memory back.

Too bad you remembered you were a Jewel thief.

Good-bye.

Good luck in your new life.

You are so lucky.

You and your rich boyfriend will be off at his country home

living the lives of the rich and famous

while I have to work.

Work? I thought you were shopping in Beverly Hills.

Well, that's work when you have to stay within my budget.

Would it ease your suffering if we offered you

a ride in Nick's limousine?

He rented a limo?

Mm.

He owns a limo?

Okay, I'll meet you in 15 minutes on the deck.

Okay? Bye. Oh!

Does he have a TV?

I've never watched TV in a car before. Oh.

[ Laughs ]

Are you in charge here?

Yes, I'm the captain.

That's close enough.

Excuse me, mister --

elder -- Marty elder. I'm the foreman

in charge of this redecorating job,

and me and my crew are none too happy about it.

Well, Mr. Elder, I'll be happy to pass on your comments

about the work order to our purser.

Great. Pass this on --

there's too much work here. It can't be done in a day.

All right, men, and you others.

Let's get on with this thankless task.

Positive attitude.

Well, merrill, I'd really love to stay aboard

and see how all this turns out,

but I've got a month of tennis to catch up on.

-Captain stubing? -That's right.

And you must be miss Becker.

That's me.

Miss Becker is

the choreographer for the mermaids.

This is Adam bricker, our ship's doctor.

Oh, hello. How are you?

Well, hi. Welcome.

Captain, is there an Isaac Washington working

on this ship?

Yes. Do you know him?

Well, you could say that.

I almost married him.

Oh, I see.

Well, excuse me. I have to get to work.

♪ ♪

I still can't believe that you run

this enormous ship all by yourself.

Well, didi, some men are just born

to wear the mantle of responsibility.

And some are born to trip over it.

Captain, sir.

Gosh, I didn't mean to imply

that I was in charge of the entire ship.

Uh, sir, after all, you do a lot, too, don't you?

Oh, I just drive.

And that's easy.

It has an automatic transmission.

Didi winters,

I'd like you to meet captain stubing.

-Hello. -Captain stubing is the captain.

Uh, gopher, I hate to spoil your plans,

but the foreman of the work crew insists

that he can't complete everything in one day.

I handled that, sir.

You should've seen him, captain.

He got tough, and that foreman backed down.

Well, in that case, Mr. Smith,

I am going to give you an order,

and I expect you to obey.

Yes, sir.

Get off this ship,

and don't come back till we sail tonight.

Yes, sir!

-Uh, Mr. Smith? -Yes?

-We have to talk to you. -[ Sighs ]

My pleasure. Ah...

Didi winters, this is Charles custers.

Charles is our chief steward. -How do you do?

And this is christa Johansson,

in charge of our ship's laundry.

Mr. Smith, we have a problem with his stewards.

They're all idiots, like him.

Forgive me for stating the obvious,

but the people in your laundry have

their brains stuck on spin cycles.

One of my many responsibilities here on the ship is

to mediate differences between, uh, service crew members.

Now, how can I help?

Tell her people to get off their lazy bums

and get the laundry done on time.

"On time"? Please.

Tell your snooty bunch to stop making promises

to the passengers that we cannot keep.

People, please.

Now, I think I can say something here

that will put an end to this fighting.

All men are brothers.

Oh, hey, doc, I thought you'd be ashore by now.

Ace, we're about to be treated to a sight

few men are lucky enough to witness in a lifetime.

Oh, yeah?

[ Indistinct conversation ]

The love boat mermaids.

I hope there's cute guys on these cruises.

I hope they're rich guys.

[ Both laugh ]

I wonder if, like, we go to any third-world countries.

Well, sometimes they go to Florida.

I love Miami, except the surf is lousy.

We're supposed to rehearse on the lido deck.

Are we going the right way? -Oh, you're doing just fine.

Bye.

-Bye. -Bye-bye.

-Bye. -Bye.

Bye.

Oh, I'm sorry to have doubted you, doc.

You're right. This is going to be great.

Ace, this is not going to be great for you.

It's not?

I've seen the way beautiful women

constantly throw themselves at you,

but these women are different.

They are?

Ace, listen to me.

I know things you don't know. I'm a doctor.

You know as well as I do that getting involved

with co-workers only leads to trouble.

Remember...eleanor?

Yeah, I'd rather not.

The new assistant cruise director

right out of wherever it is cruise directors come from.

She likes you. You like her.

Nature takes it course.

Then, you decided you wanted to date other women.

Ohh, I didn't think she'd take it that hard.

Well, thank god she was a good swimmer.

I'm afraid to avoid any more eleanors

you must tell these women that you're not available.

Face it -- being born with that face carries with it

certain responsibilities.

I see your point, doc.

But as far as I can tell,

not one of those women even knows I'm alive.

Hi.

Oh, my gosh.

You're real.

[ Sighs ]

Do you think I should talk to them individually

or as a group?

Oh, hey, goph.

Doc, I need your help.

Uh, doc?

All I need you to do is stand in for me with didi

while I straighten out this thing between the stewards and the laundry.

All you have to do is take her

to the killer whale show at marineland.

Then, you bring her back here. I'll take over.

You'll have the rest of the day to yourself.

Well... Sounds simple enough.

Okay, all right, now, if she's hungry,

price is no object.

Just don't give her anything heavy.

I want her alert for when I get her back.

Judy: What a charming hotel.

Nick: [ Laughs ] This is my home, Judy.

You own this?

Who else?

I don't know. I thought maybe Conrad Hilton.

[ Laughs ]

Oh. [ Laughs ]

Nick, this is incredible.

It's nice.

But it takes me all day Saturday just to mow the lawn.

Good morning, Mr. Durrell, Ms. McCoy.

I hope you had a good trip.

Yes, we did.

Judy, I'd like you to meet Paul, who runs thing around here.

But he's clever enough to let me think that I do.

Oh, nice to meet you.

Hi.

Mr. Durrell, you just missed a call from New York.

Shall I get them back for you?

Not yet.

I'd like to give Ms. McCoy a tour of the house.

What do you say?

Are you sure there's time?

I have to be back on board the ship before midnight.

If you wish to ride before lunch, Ms. McCoy,

I've laid out your riding clothes for you upstairs.

My riding clothes?

Mr. Durrell had me fill your closet

with a size-7 wardrobe.

Was I close?

Perfect.

♪ ♪

So why do we have to rehearse out here?

They're redecorating the lounge,

and we can't get in there until they're finished.

So I think it's only fair to put my cards on the table,

uh, so to speak.

I'm sure that you're a terrific person,

a-and I hope that we become great friends.

Really, I do.

It's just that I've made it my policy

not to have any romantic relations

with the people I work with.

Okay by me.

I appreciate your attitude.

[ Drill whirring ]

[ Shouting ] Captain... [ Clears throat ]

We have come to a decision for the best interest

of everybody in service. -What?

Could you hold that down over there?

[ Whirring stops ] -Yep.

Yeah. I'm finished over here.

-Now... -The staff.

...captain, we have come to a decision.

[ Hammer banging ]

And it's for the best interest...

Yes, hold on for a moment.

Mr. Elder,

we are trying to conduct ship's business in here.

Can't that wait?

Well, as far as I'm concerned, it can wait forever.

You know, uh, this cabinet wasn't

on my original work order, you know?

And my boss said some big shot on this ship here

did a lot of whining to get it.

Made a real cry-baby out of himself, you know?

So I thought I'd do this big shot a big favor

and install it myself.

Well, uh, go right ahead.

I-I-If there's any possibility,

could you keep the noise down, please?

[ Upbeat music plays ]

Lonette: Five, six, seven, eight.

Five, six, seven, eight. Keep going.

Five, six, seven, eight. Very good.

Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five.

Can I have a little attitude, please?

Four, five, six, seven --

lonette.

[ Music stops ]

Okay, ladies, take five.

What?

What are you doing here?

The mermaids are my girls.

Over the last 10 years, I've thought a lot

about what I was gonna say to you.

But right now, nothing comes to mind.

Isaac, do you hate me?

For a while.

But I've learned to let that stuff go.

I tried to find you earlier today.

Uh...

Listen, you've got your rehearsal,

a-and I've got some work I have to do.

Uh, we've put it off for 10 years.

We can let it wait another hour.

[ Sighs ]

Thanks, Isaac.

Okay, ladies. What is it?

Five minutes are up. Let's hit it.

[ Upbeat music plays ]

And five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Two, two. Much better.

Five, six, seven, eight.

♪ ♪

And I feel we can reach a fair and just settlement

very quickly.

You've got to be kidding.

The working class has always been in conflict

with the power elite.

You settle that,

you'll put an end to war and famine.

Thank you for your concern, but I think we can handle it.

Yeah, well, I'm not one to cast pearls.

[ Clears throat ]

From what I've heard, it's apparent

that one of the disputing parties is

clearly in the wrong.

[ Scoffs ] Boy, I'll say.

Yes, sir, no doubt about it.

Christa is way out of line.

Me?!

I was referring to Charles.

Me?

Sir.

Forgive me, but there is no way

an intelligent person could side with the laundry workers.

And I suppose there isn't the slightest possibility

that your support of the stewards

might be incredibly naive?

Not the slightest, sir.

[ Banging ]

Mr. Elder, will you stop that infernal hammering.

It's not me. I'm on my break.

[ Banging continues ]

Enter and state your business.

Holy moly.

Gopher: Didi!

Hi. -Uh, you know this guy?

Hi, gopher.

Gopher, you'll have to leave right now

if you expect to make the stagecoach ride

at knott's Berry farm.

Uh, didi, honey, would you mind, uh,

waiting for me outside for just a little minute?

-Of course, gophie. -Thank you.

Captain, I think we can put an end to this.

Pack it in, Charles. We've lost.

I thought you we on my side.

I changed my mind -- you're wrong. They're right.

Forget it, gopher.

Doc...

Make sure she doesn't eat just before

she goes on montezooma's revenge.

Gotcha.

Well, back to work.

[ Drill whirring ]

Hi.

Hi.

You're one of the mermaids, aren't you?

No, I just mugged one of them and stole her t-shirt.

I'm sorry. That was a pretty dumb question.

I'm Isaac.

Hi, I'm Patti.

Welcome aboard, Patti.

Can I get you a club soda -- on the house?

Thanks.

Hmm.

So, how long have you and lonette known each other?

Oh, uh...Not long.

Um...

She and I used to run around together.

We used to talk about movies and music.

Marriage.

I got the impression it was pretty serious.

We were going pretty strong for a while there.

Patti, can I ask you a question?

Mm-hmm.

What makes a girl who's crazy about a guy

who's crazy about her run out on him

and then just show up 10 years later?

I don't know.

Were you fat?

[ Both laugh ]

Did she ever talk about me?

She talked about a lot of guys.

Oh.

And how they compared to Isaac Washington.

Oh.

If you're trying to impress me, you've succeeded.

A lot of people have ponds.

Not heated.

[ Both laugh ]

Thank you.

Mm.

A little lunch?

A little lunch.

Thank you.

[ Sighs ]

I feel like i'm in a movie.

[ Chuckles ]

Tell me, do all of your guests get a swimsuit,

a robe, and a closet full of brand-new clothes?

If you're asking me if there are any other women in my life,

the answer is no.

You're a very special woman, Judy.

And you look wonderful here.

Who wouldn't?

Why don't you stay?

Because the ship sails at midnight,

and I have to get back, remember?

No, you don't.

Nick, you can't just make a phone call

and keep the ship from sailing.

Oh!

Okay.

Okay, I believe you could.

Yes, I could.

To you.

And you.

[ Glasses clink ]

Now, all we need here is a new approach.

I have arranged for you two

to have an elegant lunch together.

I think you need to negotiate

in surroundings more conducive to the spirit of compromise.

Oh, I don't know about this.

Now, wait a minute. This is a great idea.

This is the best idea I've had all day.

It's the only idea you've had all day.

The presidential suite is yours for as long as you need it.

[ Sighs ]

Please, please.

Of course, if you could arrange to settle this thing

in time for me to to take didi to Disneyland --

[ door slams ]

Don't give it another thought.

♪ ♪

Ooh, nice bathing suit.

So, as a co-worker, I feel that it's my responsibility

to tell you that, as attracted as we might be to one another,

I'm going to have to deny you of my essence.

You know, when I left New York 10 years ago,

I really believed that there was something

I needed to do.

Hey, you get a shot for a Broadway show,

you have to take it.

I just wish you had done more

than leave me a note on the refrigerator.

[ Sighs ] Isaac, I was scared.

I knew you were gonna ask me to marry you.

I was afraid I'd say yes.

I just wasn't ready for that.

But, lonette, I didn't hear from you for 10 years.

Were you afraid for a whole decade?

I just didn't know how to pick it all up again.

What was I supposed to do? Call you up and say,

"hey, Isaac, long time no see," hmm?

Listen --

for what it's worth,

I have missed you very much.

It's worth...

A lot more than I thought it would be.

I've missed you.

Well, where do we go from here?

Tahiti.

[ Both laugh ]

Well, that's a little out of our way.

But there is a place I'd like to take you in acapulco.

Oh, Isaac, I'm not going on the cruise.

I leave tonight right after the show.

Excuse me, miss Becker?

[ Sighs ]

Yes, Amy?

Sorry, I didn't know you were, like,

on a date or something.

Oh, that's all right.

Well, you wanted me to tell you

when the girls were through with lunch.

Thank you.

Isaac, I've got to get back to work.

We need to talk.

Okay.

We'll have some time later.

Okay.

I know you're angry.

But gopher went to a lot of trouble.

At least you could eat something.

[ Sighs ]

You're always so intense.

I think a woman as attractive as you could

loosen up once in a while.

You think I'm attractive?

I think you find me attractive, too.

I think...

That you have had a bit too much champagne.

Maybe.

But where I come from, when a woman asks a man

to help her fold sheets every day,

she generally has more on her mind than laundry.

[ Chuckling ] Oh, well...

Perhaps there are

other things on my mind.

I must say,

times I've seen you in the laundry room

with that light sheen of perspiration on your face...

My heart beat a little faster.

Maybe just half a glass of champagne.

[ Laughs ]

Come on. Come on.

These things...

[ Laughs ]

Are delicious. I can't get enough.

Come on.

Well, you had the makings in your kitchen.

Of course, I have a hunch

you've never been in your kitchen.

Of course I have.

Once.

[ Laughs ]

This is the most wonderful day of my life.

Boy, feed you a little sugar,

and you just go to pieces.

Marry me, Judy.

We'll live on whipped cream and cookies

and grow old and fat together.

[ Chuckles ]

Sounds appealing,

but I never get married on the first date.

Well, have it your way.

Dinner tonight will be our second date.

You can give me your answer then.

♪ ♪

To christa.

To Charles.

I suppose...

We'd better get back to work.

We have a job to do.

The ship can't sail without stewards

and the laundry.

We're the backbone of the entire ship.

We have our duty.

Are you aware that Charles and christa have been

in the presidential suite for nearly two hours?

-Yes, sir. -That is a long lunch.

Well, they're still in there, sir,

because they're ironing out the details of the agreement.

"Ironing" -- laundry.

Gopher, if the stewards and laundry workers are not

back to work soon, we won't have a party tonight.

-Sir. -We won't be able to sail.

And all of the passengers will ask for their money back.

Mm-hmm.

Do something.

-Hi, goph. -Hi, Vic.

Vic, Vic! Oh, Vic!

Oh, thank god you're here. Oh, Vicki.

Vicki, there is a crisis on this ship,

and I think you may be the only one who can save us.

I have hoped and prayed this day would come,

and here it is, the day when I become

an indispensable member of this team.

What can I do?

I want you to wash 200 dirty tablecloths.

Thanks, Maria.

Please make sure that all the ladies know

we're having full dress rehearsal at 6:00.

I will.

Uh, i-is everybody decent?

I can't speak for them, but my reputation's spotless.

Uh, excuse me. Are you Maria?

-Yes, I am. -Well, do you have some time?

I think we should have a little talk.

[ Sighs ] Maria.

As a fellow coworker, I think it's only fair...

Have you any idea why he is going around

talking to mermaids one-by-one?

Who can understand a man who drove

an electric Ferrari to kindergarten?

[ Both laugh ]

This is the first time I've had you all to myself

in a long time.

Yeah, it feels comfortable as ever.

Mm.

Do you think we could steal a couple of hours for ourselves?

Ah, yes.

Excuse me, miss Becker.

My costume just fell apart.

You do have your own cabin?

I certainly do.

Very good.

Yeah.

Well, what do you think?

I think this dress was made to be worn by you.

But you know something?

These big houses can get awfully drafty.

[ Clicks tongue ]

Awfully drafty.

Oh.

Nick.

You certainly do know how to dress a girl for dinner.

To hell with dinner.

What's wrong?

I don't know.

There's this little voice in my head

that keeps asking the same question --

where is this going?

Well, I thought that was obvious.

No, I don't mean now.

10 years ago, we had something going, but...

[ Sighs ]

...at least I thought we did.

Isaac, I am sorry for that.

No, uh...

That's not my point.

Lonette...

Let's be realistic about this.

You're leaving again tonight.

I'm staying here on the ship.

Things are gonna be back the way they were.

Why are we setting ourselves up for the same pain

it took all those years to get over?

Why can't we just enjoy what we have right now,

just for what it is?

It means more to me than just sharing a moment.

It always did.

I don't want to go through that again.

[ Sighs ]

I can't stand a man who learns from his mistakes.

[ Chuckles ]

Hey.

I hear there's a great show in the lounge tonight.

Want to go?

Yeah.

Mr. Elder...

Can you tell me when you'll be finished?

I would have been finished a long time ago

if it weren't for these constant interruptions.

Come in.

Sir... [ Clears throat ]

I think I have some good news for you, sir.

Well, I hope so. The passengers will coming aboard in an hour.

Giving us time to really get to know each other

really paid off, right, christa?

[ Chuckles ] It certainly did.

Well, it's about time, huh?

Now that christa's people are gonna pick up the slack,

all of our troubles are over.

Great. I'm off to the magic kingdom.

What do you mean, "now that christa's people

are going to pick up the slack"?

Christa, after what happened this afternoon,

surely you've had a change of heart.

What happened this afternoon was

strictly between you and me.

And I still say that your stewards are selfish

and inconsiderate.

Face it -- your people are too lazy to do an honest day's work.

Oh!

Uh, folks, I'm kind of in a rush here,

so if we could work out this agreement tomorrow...

[ Sighs ]

I'd really appreciate it.

There's no agreement.

Thanks to her, we've advanced from a simple dispute

to a full out strike.

I'm gonna call a meeting of all the stewards.

-Hey, christa, what do you -- -I'm sorry, captain,

but the laundry is gonna stay shut down

until the stewards have come to their senses.

Ugh, what a couple of fruitcakes, huh?

Well, everything seems to have fallen apart here.

Well, what exactly did you do to help them along?

I left a bottle of champagne in the suite.

I thought it might loosen them up a little.

Mr. Smith, from the beginning,

you have conducted these negotiations

with your hormones instead of your brain.

Hey, give the guy a break. He meant well.

He just got in a little over his head.

Thanks, man.

From now on, I'm in charge of the negotiations.

Does that mean I can go?

I guess not.

Yeah, hang in there, gophie.

♪ ♪

Dinner was wonderful.

What was that for?

That marked the end of our second date.

It's time for your answer.

Will you marry me, yes or no?

Nick, it's not that simple.

I'd have so many things to take care of --

m-my job, my apartment --

Judy, all you have to do is say yes,

and I'll take care of everything else.

You make it sound so it easy.

But I can make everything easy.

Paul: [ Clears throat ] Excuse me.

I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Durrell,

but the gentleman from New York is here.

Excuse me.

Of course.

Carlos.

No trouble with customs, I hope.

[ Ominous tones play ]

[ Telephone rings ]

I could use another Brandy. How about you?

♪ ♪

Hi. How's it going?

Oh, it's pretty good. He's trying to work it out now.

What are you doing here?

You're supposed to be at Disneyland.

Well, uh, gopher, there's just been a slight, uh,

change of plans.

Uh, didi's decided she'd like to come on the cruise.

That's great!

Didi and I on a cruise t-- you talked her into --

hey, you are a friend. I mean it, really.

Well, gopher, t-there is, uh, one more thing you should know.

Uh, didi won't be coming on the cruise as your guest.

Yeah, but you just got through saying --

she'll be coming on the cruise as my guest.

You see, uh, somewhere along the line,

didi and I discovered a certain...

Fondness for each other.

You took her on the teacups, didn't you?

Gopher, I had no idea it'd have that effect on her.

All it did was make me dizzy.

Hey, I understand, totally. Really, no, please

enjoy your cruise.

Just one word of warning --

she's not that bright.

Judy, listen to me.

My private life is completely separate from my business.

And I suppose you are a pillar of the community.

As far as the folks around here are concerned,

I'm Nick durrell, a generous guy

who financed a new wing for the local hospital.

Nick, you are living a lie.

What makes you think that I want to be part of that?

But you love me. You can't deny that.

I do love you.

But there's a part of you that I hate, too,

and I can't deny that, either.

[ Door opens, closes ]

Merrill: Now, let's go over this again.

"Stewards will immediately inform the laundry

of any out-of-the-ordinary requests made

by the passengers." Agreed?

Yes.

-And the laundry -- -"and the laundry workers

will inform the stewards of the time necessary

to deliver laundry on special requests

so that unreasonable promises are withdrawn."

Yeah, sounds good to me. What do you think?

Yes.

Do you mind?

From now I on, I hope you will deal with the problems

before tensions reach a point like this again.

I hope so, too.

We'll do our best.

I have to go because we have a lot of work to do

to get things ready for tonight.

So do we.

Well, then, do you think that there's a chance

i may have that chest completed in my lifetime?

Oh, I was done with that baby an hour ago.

I just wanted to see the end of this.

Didn't want to miss it for nothing.

You know, I've got to give you credit, captain.

You do good work.

Yeah, we wrapped this one up pretty well, didn't we, sir?

I think I hear my phone.

[ Door closes ]

You hired him 'cause he's family, right?

Excuse me.

-Okay. -Thank you.

-Gopher... -Mm?

...you are going to be so proud of me.

I did it.

I got all the tablecloths done.

Great.

Terrific, Vicki.

But we have to talk.

Well, you see, I found three laundromats

that were a couple blocks apart.

I mean, I had to do a lot of running back and forth...

Wait a minute. Where did she get those?

Those are not the ones I did, gopher.

I know because I folded mine lengthwise.

Yeah, well, the boat business is a crazy business, Vic.

-Gopher. -What?

Tell me that what I think happened did not happen.

Hey, good news -- the ship's laundry is working again.

-Gopher! -Listen, would it help

if told you I lost my girlfriend?

[ Both arguing indistinctly ]

Tired?

[ Gasps ]

[ Chuckles ]

Yeah, a little.

Your people did a fine job.

[Sighs] Well, to tell you the truth,

I wasn't sure whether or not

I was going to make that deadline.

Uh, look, christa,

I'm sorry about what happened this afternoon.

I guess the champagne just went to my head.

It wasn't all your fault.

I could've stopped you if I'd wanted to.

Don't look so smug.

I'm still mad at you.

For what?

For assuming that what happened between us

would change my mind about everything else.

You're right.

I was inconsiderate, callous, insensitive.

Should I recite all my sins,

or can we go directly to begging for forgiveness?

I'll let you off the hook if you promise

to be my guest tonight

at the premiere performance of the mermaids.

Okay.

But only if you promise not to get me drunk again

and take advantage of me.

No deal.

I guess I'll just have to take my chances.

Uh-huh. [ Laughs ]

Oh.

Yeah.

Attention -- the pacific Princess is

now ready for boarding.

Cabin assignments may be obtained in the purser's lobby.

We'll be sailing tonight at midnight.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Judy, I didn't know you came back on board.

Will Mr. Durrell be joining you?

No, I won't be seeing him again.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Is there anything I can do?

No, no, no, sir. Thank you, but, uh...

There isn't.

I'm just glad to be back.

We're glad to have you back.

Thank you.

[ Fanfare plays ]

Ladies and gentlemen,

the pacific Princess is proud to welcome you

to our brand-new international act.

[ Applause ]

[ Upbeat music plays ]

And here to introduce our love boat mermaids,

Mr. Ashley Evans.

Starlight.

Mary Beth.

Amy.

Sheila.

Susie.

Jane.

Patti.

Maria.

Ladies.

Dance!

All: ♪ dance ♪

♪ I've got to shake my shoulders ♪

♪ dance ♪

♪ I got to move my buns ♪

♪ dance ♪

♪ I got to keep on grooving ♪

♪ as long as my motor runs ♪

♪ I can jump ♪

♪ stomp my feet ♪

♪ ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ blame it on rhythm and the heat of the beat ♪

♪ 'cause I get loose ♪

♪ let out my juice ♪

♪ when I dance ♪

♪ Dance ♪

♪ Hot ♪

♪ ooh, so hot ♪

♪ ooh, so sopping wet ♪

♪ healthy sweat ♪

♪ ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ moving now is your best bet ♪

♪ move our bodies ♪

♪ use our legs and dance ♪

♪ dance ♪

♪ dance ♪

♪ Dance ♪

♪ dance ♪

♪ dance ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Attention -- will all visitors please disembark.

All visitors ashore, please.

The pacific Princess will sail in 15 minutes.

Well... [ Sighs ]

I guess this is goodbye again.

Maybe --

I-If it happens...

It happens.

Yeah.

I'll see you, Isaac.

-Uh, susie? -Yeah?

I'm sorry to have gotten to you so late.

But, after all, there are eight of you

and only one of me.

Yeah.

[Sighs] It hasn't been easy laying my cards on the table

to one beautiful woman after another.

But here it goes.

Susie...

I decided to make it a rule never to get involved

with...

Is something wrong?

I can't do this anymore.

Will you have a drink with me?

[ Sighs ]

I'm sure you're a very nice guy,

but I don't want to get involved with anyone I work with.

Sorry.

There's a lot of irony in my life.

[ Air horn blows ]

♪♪