Original subtitles

[Theme music playing]

♪ Love ♪

♪ love, exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ love is life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ love won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ welcome aboard it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard it's love ♪

-Just flip the switch, sir. -Okay.

[All cheering]

Hey, how about a toast to Christmas with my special eggnog.

No alcohol... just a little egg and a whole lot of nog.

-[All laugh] -Emily, you will love this. He makes it every year.

You all have so many traditions.

One big happy family.

Merrill, your traditional toast?

Of course, Adam.

To family and friends and the best holiday ever.

To Christmas.

[All] To Christmas!

[Captain over pa] Attention, please, the pacific Princess is now ready for boarding.

On behalf of our entire crew, welcome aboard. Welcome to the Christmas cruise.

A small cabin on the lower deck? That's impossible.

Young man, there's obviously been a mistake.

The duvalls never travel less than first class.

Well, I'm sorry, Mrs. Duvall,

but according to our records, you reserved the...

Don't you worry. Your job is safe. We promise not to kick up a fuss--

if you simply give us one of your available suites... At the same price of course.

[Chuckles] At the same price?

Oh, mother, they couldn't possibly. That's too much to ask.

You certainly don't expect us to pay for their mistake now, do you?

Well, mother does have a point.

Surely there's something you can do for us. After all, it is Christmas.

But it did happen. As a result, we have an empty suite

in which our lounge headliner should be staying for our Christmas cruise.

But there was a misunderstanding between her agents and my calendar.

She'll be here next week.

Look at it this way, sir.

We'll have two singers for the new year's cruise.

Excuse me, but did I understand you to say you are in the market for an entertainer?

Oh, no, no, we just have a little...

I just happen to represent one of Europe's fastest rising young stars.

And of course, she's my daughter. Heather duvall.

Well, thank you, but we're really--

you're lovely. You're very lovely. And she sings?

Well, I'm afraid my mother sometimes overestimates--

she's a nightingale.

Oh, I can furnish you with a complete resume.

The finest references. Oh, she's thrilled millions.

Well, she certainly thrilled me.

I don't want to tell you how to do your job, miss McCoy,

but if I were you, I'd sign her on the spot.

Merry Christmas.

And, of course, we'll be happy to accept whatever accommodations

you had set aside for the no-show.

Assuming they're up to our standards, of course.

Oh...

[Clears throat] Of course, there you are...

Oh, well, follow me and we'll sign the contract.

Oh! You tell me where these go.

Oh! I'm-- I'm so sorry.

-Better watch where you're going. -This cello's so awkward...

Well, keep it on a leash.

[Julie] This way, Mrs. Duvall.

The welcoming committee is all busy at the moment.

But I'm Emily stubing. I'm the captain's wife.

Uh... piacere di conoscerla. Very glad to meet you.

Oh, it's lovely to come aboard at night, but you can't find anything.

Yes, I couldn't help but notice. Is there anything I can do for you?

Show you your cabin or something?

I already found my cabin. But I can't find my friend.

-Oh. -I'm sorry, I'm Carla lucci.

It is so nice to meet you. You know perhaps I can help you.

I haven't a lot of weight here, but what I have, I can throw around with the best of them.

If he's a passenger, maybe he's checked in already.

I assume that it is a "he" that you're expecting?

Of course.

I can always tell.

Well, not always. But sometimes I can tell.

We certainly were in the right place at the right time.

Don't you think my singing will throw just a little too much light on our operation, mother?

It will make you the center of attention of every millionaire on this cruise.

You just find one who likes to play cards, then I go to work.

Here we are.

[Off-key cello music playing]

Don't tell me that's the cello.

[Music stops]

Oh, hello. A fan of classical music?

Young man, my daughter and I have taken this trip in order to relax.

[Man] Is that your daughter? She's beautiful.

That's because I have always surrounded her with beauty.

You and that cello could undo years of nurturing with a single flat c-sharp.

Maybe if I played...

Maybe if you didn't.

And I think I speak for the entire ship when I say, "thank you."

So, who's gonna play Santa claus this year?

Or does our new entertainer have to sing in a red suit and beard?

No, I hired a Santa through an agency.

And I confirmed this morning. Nothing can go wrong this time.

Mm-hmm. And what are you asking the jolly old elf for this Christmas?

Peace on earth and an end to world hunger.

And this gorgeous diamond watch I've had my eye on all year. How about you?

Her! May I pick this up for you?

Hi.

Excuse me.

Oh, may I help you?

Oh, I'm beyond help. Trust me.

Last night, the airline lost my luggage.

They say it's on it's way to Morocco.

I'm just lucky I carried this on board the plane myself.

-It was a matched set. -There are more of those?

Oh, this was a nice bag before the bus ran over it.

Unfortunately, I was holding on to it at the time.

[Chuckling] Okay. Are you one of our passengers?

-One of the crew. -No, you couldn't be. I mean, I know the crew.

I'm Julie McCoy, the cruise director. Maybe you have the wrong ship?

Pacific Princess? Christmas cruise?

Arthur burkley, you hired me yourself.

I'm your shipboard Santa. Ho ho ho.

[Captain over pa] Will all visitors please disembark. All visitors ashore please.

Ms. Lucci...

Oh, yes? Where is he?

I'm sorry, but your friend hasn't come aboard.

Oh, no, but it's impossible! I mean, he had reservations.

I know that, but you see, we have him listed as a no-show.

Was he flying in from another city? Maybe he missed his connecting flight.

No. He lives here in Los Angeles.

I was the one who flew in from Rome

for this very romantic vacation.

I'm sorry.

Yes. So am I.

[Ship horn blows]

[Captain over pa] Welcome aboard our annual Christmas cruise.

We're off to the sunny Mexican resorts of Mazatlan and acapulco.

If you've brought your ski sweaters, snowshoes, and overcoats,

you're over-packed.

Merry Christmas.

-[Julie] Miss duvall? -Yes?

You know, we hired you on your credentials, which seem impressive

but I'm not personally familiar with your particular style.

The captain didn't seem to have any objections.

Yes, well, the captain is only the captain.

And I am the cruise director and it's my responsibility to make sure that,

oh, the dance instructor can dance, the shuffleboard instructor can shuffle.

And the singer can sing.

Hmm. What do you say we go find a piano and try a few scales?

Well, I'd love to Julie. But if I'm going to sing my best,

i really have to look my best. And an hour in the sun. You understand.

All right. I have to check on our Santa anyway. One hour. In the lounge.

[Phone rings]

Fine.

[Isaac] Mr. Burke parks? Yes, who should I say is calling?

Wall street? Mr. Parks, your stockbroker...

Hello. Yes? Oh, Marshall, yes.

Buy two million shares.

That's right. Okay.

Thank you, Isaac.

[Chattering]

I'm sorry.

I think there's another over there.

[Shrieks]

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...

You're a public menace, you know that?

It was the wind.

What happens next?

Does the whole cello come flying at me over dinner?

What can I say? What can I do for you?

Give me the chance to shout, "man overboard."

[Knocking]

Mr. Burkley. I see you found your cabin all right.

Yeah, yeah. It's fine, it's fine.

But the windows won't open.

No, of course not. They're welded shut.

That's a safety feature. Someone might accidentally fall out.

Oh, here, I've brought your Santa suit for you.

It's the smallest one we have.

I'm afraid you're gonna need a little extra padding.

Usually our santas are, well, larger.

Well, I've lost a lot of weight recently. Prison food will do that to a person.

Prison food?

It's a long story.

I have the time.

Well, it started with the bank robbery.

Bank robbery? The agency didn't mention--

well, it was all a terrible mix-up.

You see the real crooks used a stolen car. Mine.

My fiancée could explain this all to you if she were here.

She broke off the engagement right after my house was foreclosed.

Because of the prison sentence?

Because I was fired.

You get vacation, you get sick leave,

but everybody gets so funny when you ask for prison leave.

But they all realized it was a big mistake, but...

-You've had a hard life. -I've had a hard year.

You know, you wouldn't know it to look at me now,

but last year I was voted most valuable salesman.

I had a beautiful sports car, a home with a pool,

a girl who loved me.

What have I got now?

A part-time job as a seagoing Santa

and a window that won't open.

But I don't want to bore you with my sad story. Thanks for the suit.

Your first appearance is at dinner tonight. There's a schedule in the box.

Say, how deep is the ocean out here?

Several hundred feet when you get this far from shore.

That should be deep enough.

Well, I really don't know what to suggest, Emily. You certainly know merrill as well as I do.

I looked all over Los Angeles and Beverly Hills. Shirts, socks, ties, aftershave...

It just has to be so special.

Do you think he'd like a ship in a bottle? His own little ss stubing?

Well, the crew usually gives him something nautical every year. It's kind of a tradition.

Ah, that word again. Everybody's got a tradition with merrill but me.

I'm sure he'll love whatever you give him.

But what?

Well, I can book you on a small private plane

-from Mazatlan to Mexico City. -And from there?

From there, you could fly just about anywhere you want.

I want to go back home to Italy.

Home? Carla, the cruise has just begun.

I didn't come here for the cruise.

I came to be with David.

[Sighs] I feel miserable. Angry. Foolish!

Desperate.

Oh...

This man you're waiting for, he must be very special.

[Scoffs] Special? Yes, until now.

I met him three years ago on this very boat. That's why we were meeting here now.

You and Mr. Morgan?

Yes. You see, I never was in love before.

I mean, really in love.

And he felt the same?

Of course he did. And I believed him. I still do.

[Scoffs] I guess we never learn.

But he was married. His wife was an invalid, confined to bed.

So he couldn't leave her.

And now, after all these years?

Now he writes to Carla and says he absolutely has to see her.

So she's here, and he's not.

Oh, I just think that's so sad.

And on Christmas. I feel so sorry for her.

Hmm.

You know I feel sorry for anybody

who doesn't have someone as wonderful as you in their life.

You care about people and their feelings.

And I care about you, merrill.

Now, what would you like for Christmas?

To spend the rest of my life with you.

[Julie over pa] Attention passengers.

Dinner is now being served in the coral dining room.

[Carla] I was expecting a romantic dinner for two,

and instead I'm invited to join a happy party with the captain.

I hope I will not spoil it.

Nonsense.

There's a place for you and you're going to sit in it and that's that.

And not another word.

All right. I won't argue with someone married to power.

You must be signorina lucci.

Oh, let's forget about "signorina," please.

Tonight, I only answer to Carla.

-And this is my husband, merrill. -[Captain] Hello.

And you've met Vicki. And this is ace Evans, our chief purser.

Adam bricker, the ship's doctor.

Pleasure.

I'm very pleased to meet all of you.

My wife tells me you're from Rome.

-Oh, yes! Does it show? -[All laugh]

One of my ex-wives was from Italy, I think.

Oh, please, it wasn't me.

I'm sure you would've remembered.

[All chuckle]

You know, it must be the ocean air. I could eat a horse.

Have two, sweetheart. Our food comes with the room.

You should have been an agent.

Oh, no, no. That work is too honest.

Well, honest enough that it doesn't interest me.

Find anything worthwhile yet... That's not on the menu?

All we need is one terrible cardplayer with a lot of money.

I'll know him when I see him. You know that.

Oh, yes.

You've got a sixth sense when it comes to money.

Even as a little girl, when you wandered off,

it was always in the direction of the bank of england.

There you are, sir.

[Phone ringing]

Not bad, as last meals go.

[Continues ringing, muffled]

Hey, is something wrong?

Well, the captain is expecting Santa

to make an appearance at dinner tonight.

I can't find him. He promised to be dressed and ready.

First the singer, now the Santa.

Well, can't you find someone to stand in for him tonight?

Like who? Who's around? Who isn't already at dinner?

Oh!

Julie! No, no, no!

One night! What's the big deal?

Come on, Julie! Santa claus?

It's one night!

It must feel strange not spending Christmas with your family.

Oh, it's such a big family!

Juliana, Maria, Fernanda, magdalena, Teresa, and Carolina.

They won't even notice that I am away.

Well, you're welcome to share the holidays with us.

You're very kind. You're all very kind.

But I'm leaving the ship tomorrow and I'm flying home.

Perhaps I'll be a little bit late for Christmas,

but I'm sure there will be plenty of pasta left over for me.

Leaving? With so much yet to see?

I saw it all many years ago with...

With a friend.

I should have left it a memory.

I'm terribly sorry. I have packing to do. Excuse me, please.

I'm sorry.

Ms. Lucci?

Carla...

Ho, ho, ho, ho!

Merry Christmas, everybody! Merry Christmas!

-[Captain] Isaac? -Yes, yes, I just flew in from the north pole.

-Boy, are my reindeer tired! Ho, ho, ho! -[Laughter]

But seriously, folks.

I've never seen a ship so full of happily married men.

Oh, you'll find our pigeon all right.

In all these years, I've never once seen you fail.

I won't let you down.

That is, if that nut with the cello leaves me alone long enough.

Maybe I did something really terrible to Beethoven in another life.

Oh! What on earth!

Oh, my.

"You pluck the g-string of my heart". It's from him.

These too. They're all from him.

He must've hocked his cello to afford all these.

[Off-key cello music playing]

I only wish.

Well, there it is. Davy Jones' locker.

One jump and I'm asleep in the deep.

Twenty thousand leagues under the sea.

A friend of Charlie the tuna.

Adrift on the kelp bed of life.

Permanently waterlogged.

An ad for the "wet look."

Shark bait.

So!

-There you are. -Never sneak up on anyone like that!

You almost gave me heart failure. Which would have saved a lot of trouble.

Do you know that Julie has been looking all over for you.

You were supposed to be in the dining room tonight.

I'm sorry. I've had a lot on my mind.

Did she find someone to fill in for me?

I don't always dress like this.

What are you doing out here, anyway?

Uh, just getting the feel of the ship.

Say, is the ocean always so far from the deck?

Well, it's a big ship.

Yeah, and a big drop.

That's why we have railings.

Good thinking. Good thinking.

Yeah. Listen, I have to go back to the bar.

Do us all a favor. Check with Julie to see when she needs you next. Okay?

Okay.

So, we're afraid of heights...

-[Chattering] -[Lounge music playing]

Excuse me, would you like to dance?

Sorry, I'm waiting for somebody.

Something tells me you're not him.

Read them and weep. Three sevens.

A full house. Oh, my, this seems to be my lucky night.

You've got to watch my mother, Isaac.

She'll take you for every goldfish you have, if you're not careful.

Oh, lucky for me. I'm loaded with goldfish.

Oh, relax, darling. We're only playing for a dime a fish.

-We are? -Unless you'd rather it were a dollar?

No, no, no. No, but...

Fine, fine, fine. Your deal.

Miss duvall?

Look, I appreciate the flowers. That was a nice thought.

But you must have spent your last dollar on those and I'm truly not interested.

My last dollar? No, no. There's more where that came from.

Well, you might at least have spent it on more appropriate clothing.

I wasn't sure what to wear. I've never been on a ship before.

One that wasn't my own, I mean.

You have your own ship.

Wellington Davis rothmeyer iv.

I fold.

Of rothmeyer publishing?

Six major newspapers, three monthly magazines,

the only publishing house ever to have had all ten of the top ten bestsellers?

You're that rothmeyer?

I'm afraid my father is "that" rothmeyer.

I guess I will be someday.

Wellington Davis rothmeyer iv.

The flowers you sent me, you didn't sign your name.

Well, there's just so much of it to get on one of those little cards they give you.

I really want to apologize for all the trouble I've caused you in such a short time.

Would you let me make it up to you over supper?

Sorry, I'm not hungry.

Then maybe cocktails or...

Look, you don't seem like a bad sort, but I'm truly not interested.

So let's leave it at that and try to be friends, okay?

I think I'll turn in now. Good night, mother.

Was it something I said?

Trust me. You said all the right things.

Oh, merrill.

I hope I'm not interrupting.

Nonsense. I always have time for you.

Well, I'm always thinking you might turn your head to talk to me for a second

and we'll end up in China or somewhere.

[Laughs] No.

I'm sure the navigator would discover the error long before China.

Oh, I thought you'd like to read this cable you just received.

Thank you.

It's from Mr. Morgan, Carla lucci's friend.

He missed the ship in Los Angeles,

but he's flown ahead and will be boarding in Mazatlan.

Anything else?

Well, he just signed it "sincerely" there.

Should I tell her or should I let it be a surprise?

She'll be more surprised if she leaves the ship before he arrives.

Oh, god.

Yes, I'd tell her.

Well, you could, but why don't I do that.

You're so busy finding Mexico and all.

Good idea.

How could you say no last night?

How could you turn down the king of the publishing world?

He's not the king, mother.

Well, the heir to the throne. He's a perfect pigeon.

Not perfect yet.

But he will be when I get through with him.

So, you stick to what you do best.

I'll do what I do best. Have a nice day.

She's my daughter, all right.

Mm!

[Captain over pa] Welcome to sensational Mazatlan!

Swim, sun, siesta, or shop.

Remember, only three more shopping days 'til Christmas.

[No audible dialogue]

Oh, Carla! Oh, Carla, you can't go!

I have to, Emily. My mind is made up.

I want to go away. The only thing I can do now is to go home.

That would be a terrible mistake.

I think it is best. Goodbye, and thank you for everything.

Carla?

David? Where have you been? What happened?

I thought you were never coming.

[David] It's all right. It's all right. I'm here now.

Oh, David. I was sorry to hear about your wife.

If there's anything I can do for you...

Nothing.

Just seeing you now, that's all I need.

Well, I'll have your bags taken back to your cabin for you.

Nothing looks like your father.

Well, I don't know, that ceramic bull back there had his smile.

Oh! I could have my picture taken for him.

Uh, no, no, Emily, don't worry. You're gonna find just the right thing.

[Sighs]

What are you getting him for Christmas?

Well, I always paint him a picture.

[Sighs] Another tradition.

Last semester I took an art course,

so he might even hang this one up.

He always says that my presents are the ones

he most looks forward to each year.

Hmm!

Oh, uh... no.

-[Car horn honks] -[Chickens clucking]

Oh, hi. I had hoped to stumble into you today.

Oh, good morning, welly.

Welly?

You don't mind if I call you that, do you?

Instead of Wellington Davis rothmeyer iv?

No, no. Please. "Welly" sounds like... Like you like me.

Oh. Well, don't let the sound of it fool you. I know your type.

The slick, handsome playboy who thinks he can buy his way into my heart

with a checkbook and a gold card.

You think I'm handsome?

So, how did your father

become king of the publishing world anyway?

Well, it's kind of an interesting story.

Let me judge that for myself.

You see, he was a gambler.

I hate gambling.

Well, it really is a gentleman's sport, I suppose.

Yeah, I suppose.

You were saying? Your father?

Oh, right.

My father was probably the worst gambler in Philadelphia.

But one night he dreamed of the number five.

Five ducks, five lakes, five boats. Everything in fives.

And?

He was sure it was an omen.

So he went to the bank and he withdrew his life savings, $5,000.

And he took the number five bus to the racetrack--

let me guess. Window five?

And he put the money on the number five horse in the fifth race.

Fifty-five to one, a horse named nickelodeon.

"Nickel," five.

Got it. And the horse won?

He finished fifth.

Father lost everything. But that was the day he met my mother, the "Princess" of publishing.

They married, he joined the family business and, well, the rest is history.

Fascinating. Well, uh, there are some other shops I'd like to look into in town.

So it's been nice talking to you. See you.

Wait. Uh, could I...

May I walk with you?

Well, okay.

But don't even think of buying me anything.

Although we might look into a tuxedo for you.

I love a man in a tux.

Let's see... 14, carry the one...

You owe me $124 as it now stands.

Another hand?

I'm sorry, Mrs. Duvall, but we're really not allowed to play for money,

especially with the passengers.

I didn't understand that's what we were doing last night

and I only played today to let you win back your 60 cents.

Oh, I understand, Isaac. I really do.

And I'm usually so unlucky.

This has just been an odd streak.

What do you say we cut the cards. Double or nothing.

I'll lose, and we'll be even.

And if you win?

Oh, I won't. I'm terrible at this.

-Queen of diamonds. -See? What did I tell you.

King of clubs. Oh, my. And now you owe me $248.

Oh, let's do it again. That streak of mine can't last forever.

Maybe if I go first this time.

Okay.

Oh, what a wonderful day. Don't you dare to miss the boat ever again, my love.

I never dreamed that little café with the green corn tamales would still be there.

Some things never change and that's very nice.

Others do change.

And that's very nice, too.

You know, it's hard for me to believe I'm really seeing you again.

I got there just as the ship was leaving.

I tell you, it was such a helpless feeling knowing-- hoping you were on the ship

and not being able to get to you.

You're here now. That's all that matters.

That's all that ever really mattered. To me.

[Ship horn blows]

I think they're calling us.

-Pity. -Mm.

[Captain over pa] We hope you enjoyed your day in Mazatlan.

For added enjoyment, be sure to join us this evening in the international lounge

for the song stylings of miss Heather duvall.

["I go to rio" playing]

♪ When my baby ♪

♪ when my baby smiles at me ♪

♪ I go to Rio de Janeiro ♪

♪ and I am free at last what a blast ♪

-♪ Oh, when my baby ♪ -♪ baby ♪

♪ when my baby smiles at me I go to rio ♪

-♪ rio ♪ -♪ De janeiro ♪

-♪ my-oh-me-oh ♪ -♪ I go wild ♪

-♪ and then I have to do the samba ♪ -♪ and "la bamba" ♪

♪ now she's not the kind of person ♪

♪ with a passionate persuasion for dancing ♪

♪ or romancing but I give in to the rhythm ♪

♪ and my feet follow the beating of my heart ♪

Where did Julie find her?

Well, she auditioned her this afternoon,

but she said that dad really deserves all the credit.

According to her, he has quite an eye for talent.

♪ When my baby smiles at me ♪

♪ the sun lights up my life ♪

♪ and I am free at last what a blast ♪

♪ when my baby smiles at me ♪

♪ I go to rio ♪

It was great, you're wonderful.

[Man 1] Oh, thanks.

[Man 2] See you later.

Why, welly, don't you look nice.

It was wonderful! When you sing, my heart stops.

Then we'd better look into a pacemaker for you.

We wouldn't want to lose you over a chorus of "jingle bells."

See you in a moment.

A midnight supper sounds great.

I've reserved a special table for us.

[Violins: Romantic music]

This is for us?

I wanted to make it as special as I could.

I took the Liberty of ordering for both of us.

It's too dark out here to read the menu anyway.

It's not too dark to see how beautiful you are.

That sounds suspiciously like a line.

I'm sorry. It wasn't. I don't know any lines. Really.

It's okay, it's okay.

If it was a line, it was a nice line. I liked it.

Welly, with all the girls on this ship you could be having supper with tonight, why me?

You'd laugh if I told you.

Try me.

When I was seven, my sister had a picture book,

all about a Princess who went around rescuing kings and knights and princes in distress.

How liberated.

Well, you look just like her. Just like the pictures in that book.

And are you a prince in need of rescuing, welly?

I'm a very shy person. I don't meet people easily.

When I saw you, you looked like someone I already knew. Already liked very much.

Well, if you see any dragons, I'm your girl. That's a promise.

[Clinks]

I'm sorry.

[Chattering]

[Piano: "Have yourself a merry little Christmas"]

Oh, this is our first Christmas together. The first of many.

How did I get through holidays without you?

All those turkeys I stuffed without you.

Turkey? For Christmas? No, Turkey is for Thanksgiving.

Don't you like Turkey for Christmas?

Well, it's not that I don't like it.

It's just that we usually have goose. Vicki loves it.

Of course if you want Turkey...

Oh, no, no, no. Traditions are so important.

They're so... traditional. You know?

[Music continues over speakers]

It's like no time has passed. You remember this song?

I sure do. Every time I've heard it since, I've thought of you.

And every time I thought of you,

I heard this melody in my head.

I really regret all the time we've spent apart.

I wanted to make it up to you on this cruise. Make up for all that lost time.

No time is lost, if we can stay together now.

Hold me tight forever, David.

Forever, my love.

Are you sure you want a triple?

It's my last drink.

Ah, good. Going on the wagon, huh?

You might say I'm giving up everything.

Hmm. Good.

Excuse me.

You see?

The poor man.

I knew he was troubled, but I had no idea. Shouldn't we have stopped him?

He came to me with every symptom in the book, everything from weak ankles to excess dandruff.

I knew something was strange, so I just gave him some sugar pills.

Maybe you and Santa should have a little chat.

Thanks, doc. Excuse me...

Mr. Burkley, haven't seen much of you these past few days.

I know I've let you down. But I won't be a burden to you much longer.

The day after tomorrow's the big night. Christmas Eve.

A lot of people are counting on you.

A lot of people used to count on me.

Right now, I honestly don't think anybody would miss me if I weren't here.

Not miss Santa? Or not miss Arthur burkley?

So you know. Well, it's too late.

Any minute now I'm an ex-elf.

There's nothing you can do for me.

Oh, I don't know.

A couple of aspirin might help. Sugar pills.

Dr. Bricker knew?

Doc cares. I care.

Why? I have no house, no money, no job, no car,

no girl, no self-respect.

The only thing I have at the moment is a prison record.

[Scoffs] Three days.

It hardens a man.

-You really care? -You would too, if you could see what I see:

A man, a charming man,

with drive, ambition, and a great deal of potential.

-Me? You see that in me? -Mm-hmm.

Could I buy you a drink?

Well, if some serious conversation went along with it,

i could go for a glass of guava juice.

You have exotic tastes. My fiancée had exotic tastes.

I thought your daughter didn't approve of gambling.

Hmm. She doesn't. But let's play anyway.

It's all right. My mother's harmless. She doesn't know a full house from a condominium.

I'm afraid I don't either, really.

What do you say? A dime a game, hmm?

Just to make it interesting for the old girl?

I think I could handle at least that.

And perhaps a little bit more.

Fasten your seat belts.

It's silly to feel this way, 'cause merrill and Vicki and I

have all had to make adjustments.

But who would've thought that Christmas would be a problem.

I mean of all things, Christmas.

Eh. Every family has traditions.

I know our family used to take a drive every Christmas Eve

and go look at the lights on the houses,

and then we'd come home and have a cup of hot cinnamon cider.

My uncle rodger would go to the window every year and look out and say...

[Gasps] "Look! Something just flew past the moon!

It looks like... No, it couldn't be."

And of course, all the kids would beg him to tell what he saw.

We were sure it was Santa.

Ah, that sounds lovely.

It was.

The three of you will develop something special like that. It just takes time, that's all.

Oh, I hope so. Do you know they even have a tradition of gifts they give each other?

-They're so far ahead of me. -Vicki's paintings.

Well, Emily, why don't you start a tradition of your own?

Why don't you make the captain something?

Make him something...

I used to knit!

But that was such a long time ago.

That's perfect! It'll come back to you.

But will it come back in time?

It has such a long way to travel.

I had a wonderful time tonight.

Sure you had a wonderful time.

You took my mother for over $3.

I feel so bad about that. I didn't want to take it.

I know, but she has a sort of code of honor about financial debts.

She's a fine woman, your mother. A woman of principles.

She's obviously instilled that quality in you. I find that very rare.

And... very attractive.

Goodnight, welly. Thanks for everything.

Boy, timing really is everything.

You know, you haven't changed a day, amore.

[Laughs] I don't know about that. The light in here just happens to be very good.

No, no. You are just the same. I remember everything about you.

I remember your hair.

It's grayer.

Your eyes.

And your smile.

Surely you've seen other smiles in all this time.

Yes. Italian smiles.

But they are not as... Naughty as yours.

Oh, really? Thank you very much.

I have something for you.

Really? What's that?

You'll see. Be patient.

What's this?

I've been holding your mail.

My mail?

Yes. Oh, please don't laugh.

You always said my English was not so good, so I needed some exercises.

I wrote you a letter almost every month.

I know we promised each other not to write, and I never mailed them to you.

But it was just a way of keeping you in my life.

You wrote all these to me?

Oh, yes. All in English.

This one was after my sister's wedding.

I caught the bouquet. An omen, yes?

David, I understood your devotion to your wife. And I admired it.

But I always missed you so much.

You know I never really loved Kathryn.

But she needed me and she loved me,

and I thought, "well, that was enough."

That was before I met you.

You're free now. No more sadness, please.

We can start our life together... now.

It's going to be a good trip.

But you make it sound like that's all.

Let's make a toast.

To the time we have together.

I love ocean travel.

It's like we're a million miles away from everything.

Yes. So unhurried. And so romantic.

I, uh... I bought you something.

I know you said not to, but I couldn't help myself.

And it's the season.

Merry Christmas.

Something tells me I'm going to be very mad at you.

This looks just about the size to hold that diamond and emerald bracelet we saw yesterday.

Or the gold watch.

Or...

An ugly little statue.

I knew you'd be furious with me if I spent a lot of money on you.

-Livid. -It's one of the more obscure aztec gods.

With a face like that, I think he was destined for obscurity.

He was said to be a god of companionship

and of long life...

And... and love.

Are you okay?

Fine, fine.

It's just nobody's ever given me anything like this before. Really.

Well, I'd give you thousands of these, if you'd let me.

[Laughs] One is plenty, thank you.

Well, I didn't mean...

I can't always find the right words. But even not knowing you,

i feel as if I know you better than anyone I ever knew.

And I wonder if... I wonder... What I'm wondering is...

I think I'm getting the picture and I think you shouldn't finish that sentence.

-See, I like you, welly. I like you a lot. -But...

But take my advice and never try that question

unless you're absolutely sure you're thinking straight.

It could land you in an awful lot of trouble.

[Ace] Hold the door please. Thank you.

[Whistling "jingle bells"]

Ace, what a beautiful arrangement! For one of the passengers?

For one of the crew.

Who?

You.

For me?

Yeah.

Who would do that?

I don't know.

[Julie] "Merry Christmas, just because

you were nice to Santa claus."

Do you like them?

Mr. Burkley? These are from you? For me?

Who deserves them more? I charged the flowers and this suit.

So you wouldn't be embarrassed when we paint the town red tonight.

The town? We don't reach acapulco until tomorrow.

Then we'll paint the ship red.

Uh, captain might object.

Mr. Burkley, what's come over you? Why this sudden change?

You, my darling. You've given me a new lease on life.

-Your love has made me a new man. -My what?

Your love. Now, here. Take your flowers.

And be prepared to answer the most important question of your life tonight

'cause Santa has a surprise for you.

Hint: It's for the third finger of your left hand.

Mr. Burkley!

I think it's time you call me Arthur.

Better yet, call me "darling."

Ace.

Santa claus is in love with me.

Great. Julie, I was hoping for a new sled this Christmas.

Do you think you can put in a good word?

Ace!

Huh? Bye.

-Happy, darling? -Very.

Me, too. You, Christmas, the cruise together.

Who really could ask for anything more?

I could.

We get to acapulco for Christmas Eve tomorrow.

We're back in Los Angeles a couple of days after that.

And after that? What happens then, David?

I've learned what Kathryn learned.

Take each day as it comes.

No plans for the future? No looking forward to what trip we'll take next year?

Or what dinner we'll have next week?

Please, Carla. This is so wonderful. Let it be.

Enjoy it for what it is. For now.

You're still married, aren't you?

Kathryn is still alive.

I had to see you.

Oh! Just for a few days.

I've lived every waking moment of the last three years for you.

I don't want to wait anymore for the time we could be together again.

But we are together.

Oh, yes!

One week before you go back to your other life.

And I will be alone again.

How can you do this to me, David?

["Jingle bells" playing over speakers]

Mr. Burkley?

Ho, ho, ho!

-Mr. Burkley! -'Tis the season!

'Tis definitely not the season. We have to talk.

Please, sit down.

I really have to make something clear to you.

Oh, no, you don't. I can see the love light in your eyes.

There is no love light! You don't see anything in my eyes.

-After all we've meant to one another? -[Sighs]

Mr. Burkley, you're a nice man. A sweet man. A charming man.

A confused man.

[Music stops]

But ours is a business relationship.

Me cruise director, you Santa claus.

But I thought-- I mean, you said...

I said I care about you. And I do. In a humanitarian way.

I mean, I care about you the way one person is supposed to care about another person.

I thought it was more than that.

I'm sorry, Arthur. Really I am.

You only fell for me because you don't have anything else in your life right now.

But all that's going to change. Isn't it? You know things won't stay like this.

We are each the captain of our own ship,

the master of our own destiny.

Your future is entirely in your hands.

You're right, miss McCoy. Things are going to change.

That's the spirit. Now keep that positive attitude.

And we'll see you in the purser's lobby tonight, 9:00. You look great.

Things are gonna change, all right.

And I'm going to change them.

For good.

[Captain] I'm very pleased that you're enjoying the activities on board.

[Woman] Oh yes, everything is just wonderful. Merry Christmas, captain!

Well, thank you very much. Merry Christmas to you too.

Come sail with us again sometime.

Well, merrill. I thought you said you'd be gone for a couple of hours.

I forgot my vitamins. So, how's your day going?

Why do you ask?

It was only a question.

-Are you all right? -Oh! I've never been better.

Speaking of questions.

You know, one of the passengers

asked me what your favorite color is.

And I said I thought it was blue. Is that right?

Strange question for one of the passengers to ask.

My favorite color?

I think it'd be green.

Green? I thought it was blue.

When we took that test... "How well do you know your mate?"

...didn't you tell me it was blue?

No, I think I told you green.

Emily, are you sure you're all right?

Oh, yeah, I'm just a little nervous that's all.

You know, Christmas and everything.

My stomach is all tied up in knits-- knots.

Well, I'm sorry you have to go back to work so soon, dear.

Couldn't you stay just for a cup of coffee? Oh, I understand.

A captain's work is never done. See you later, sweetheart.

Oh, I'm sorry. [Chuckles]

Goose not Turkey. Green not blue. I thought I knew the man!

Hey, Isaac.

Hey, doc...

Did the bar turn into a Blackjack table when I wasn't looking?

No, one of the passengers left this deck of cards at the bar last night.

And I'm passing the time.

Well, you could pass it more successfully

if you play the black seven on the red eight.

Come on, doc. This is solitaire. It's for one person.

Yeah. But don't they call it something when two people play?

Yeah, cheating.

Wait a minute? What black seven?

How did you know that was a black seven?

The same way I know this is a queen of clubs

and this is a two of hearts.

A marked deck?

[Singing "o Christmas tree" in German]

You know, that's one of my favorite Carols.

It isn't even in English.

No, my grandfather always sang it in German.

Of course, he did everything in German. Being German.

Aren't they adorable?

They've been adorable for seven Carols, miss McCoy.

Where's Santa claus?

I honestly don't know, sir.

You call that an answer?

I'm sorry, it's the only one I have at the moment.

Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!

[Children] Merry Christmas, Santa.

Oh, I love it! Merry Christmas! Ho, ho, ho!

It's ace, can you believe it?

Merry Christmas! Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!

Well, that is more like it.

[Speaking German]

Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Excuse me.

Merry Christmas.

Ace. Thank you.

Don't mention it. Uh, please don't mention it.

Merry Christmas.

Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!

What a night. The children, the music, the moon.

Isn't the moon beautiful, mother?

I've seen it before. And for that matter, so have you.

Yes, but not like this. Maybe it's...

I don't know, maybe it's because tomorrow is Christmas Eve.

It suddenly looks different somehow.

Honestly, Heather, you sound like a bad movie.

[Sighs] There's been a look in your eyes lately that I don't like one bit.

That Wellington is everything we could ask for.

And he's ripe for the picking.

One evening of cards with him could be a giant step

towards security for our sunset years.

Can't you see? He's everything we've been waiting for.

Funny. That's exactly what I was just thinking.

So you're afraid of heights. So what difference does it make?

In a few seconds, it'll be all over and you'll never have to worry about heights again.

[Girl] Did you lose your reindeer, Santa?

Who are you?

I'm a Christmas angel.

Do your parents know you're out here by yourself?

-Do yours? -That's different. I'm an adult.

But you have people who love you.

I do? Name two.

I love you. And all my friends love you.

Is this what I think it is? A sign? A Christmas miracle?

An angel sent from heaven to restore my faith in myself?

Do you really care about me?

Sure, everybody loves Santa.

But what if I weren't Santa?

What if I were just an ordinary guy.

A Joe schmo? An Arthur burkley? What would you think then?

-But you're not. -But if I were.

-But you're not. -I am. I'm Arthur burkley.

[Screams]

Now I'm talking crazy and scaring angels.

How low can I sink?

Carla?

Carla, please let me in. At least let me explain.

-What's left to explain? -May I come in?

Why? What for?

I built my world around you for--

for nothing!

And you make me feel very foolish.

There are things you don't know.

I want to know one thing.

Do we have a future together?

No. No, we don't.

Then goodbye, David.

I could stay up all night singing Carols.

Well, until that Santa finally arrived,

I was afraid we might have to.

Oh, merrill...

Mr. Morgan? Mr. Morgan?

Adam. How is he?

He's fine, for the moment.

Fine? But last night...

It was a symptom of progressive spinal muscular atrophy.

...a variant of Lou gehrig's disease.

Oh, no. Have you told him?

What?

Actually, he told me. He was diagnosed almost two years ago.

Can't you give him something?

How long does he have?

Well, without a more extensive examination--

my doctors have given me two to three years.

And it's already been almost two.

-Does Carla-- -no, no, I can't tell her.

I don't want her to feel sorry for me,

to feel that she has to care for me out of some misguided sense of pity.

Well, that sounds like a decision she should make.

Carla is a strong lady. She could handle it.

Read it however you'd like.

I simply won't put her in the position of feeling that she has to take care of a man

who eventually will lose the use of his arms, his legs, his speech...

No, she deserves better than that.

She deserves the truth.

She deserves a beautiful memory.

And I wanted to give that to her.

Excuse me.

[Vicki over pa] Welcome to beautiful, sunny acapulco,

where the holiday weather is picture perfect.

You'll have plenty of time here to enjoy the hospitality of our neighbors to the south.

The church is right off the main square. Have a good time.

So what happened to the "real" Santa last night?

I don't know.

But it's nothing compared to what's going to happen to Santa when I catch him.

He'd just better show up in the lounge tonight. It's Christmas Eve!

Are you sure this is where Mr. Rothmeyer wants us to meet him?

Sí, señorita. He specifically requested this table.

Why do I feel like we're being set up for something here?

[Mariachi band playing]

Good god. I hope they're not going to sing "happy birthday" in Spanish.

[Singing in Spanish]

It's him!

Oh, a boy and his cello. It warms the heart.

The words mean a boy and girl meet on a big ship.

They fall in love.

The boy is certain of what he feels. The girl is less sure,

but ultimately falls completely under the spell of the Mexican moon.

He's making this up. I distinctly heard them sing something about a burro.

-Oh, mother. -Here comes the ending.

The boy asks the girl to marry him.

-To what? -To marry him!

[Scoffs] I don't believe this. Miss, can I have a menu, please?

And what does the girl say?

[Patrons] Yes! Say, yes!

What does the girl say?

I don't know. I need more time.

Take all the time you need. Just know I love you.

Merry Christmas.

[Band continues singing in Spanish]

I've never been so embarrassed in my life.

Mother, we've got to call off the sting.

All because of some silly proposal? You must be joking.

No, I'm not. There are other pigeons out there.

Ah, but one like this hasn't flown our way for some time.

Oh, Heather, you're not in love with him.

It's just something in this tropical air.

I knew we should have stuck to the north Atlantic.

Mother, what I'm trying to say--

you know how we operate.

Like that old Latin saying:

"We came, we saw,

we took the sucker for everything he had."

No personal involvements. Neat, quick, clean.

Oh, darling, you'll thank me for this when you come to your senses.

Mother, I've always done everything you've asked of me.

And I've asked for very little in return.

Now I'm asking you for this one thing.

Please leave him alone.

It's my career.

Would you ask Jane Fonda to give up her workouts?

David is still married, did you know that?

Married? Did he tell you that?

He didn't have to. It's very clear.

We have no future together.

Only the past.

Only... the few days we spent on this boat.

I suppose I would talk to him, give him a chance to explain.

Do you still love him?

Yes. God help me.

I still do.

I really appreciate your letting me talk to you like this.

Oh, it's the least a future mother-in-law can do for her future son-in-law.

I'm so glad you don't mind playing a hand or two while we talk.

We always play cards while we talk at the ladies' club.

What's this? More cards?

I thought he already taught you a lesson in gambling.

Oh, you know me, sweetheart.

I'm a sucker for higher education.

I raise you three thousand.

I see your three and raise you one.

We're really just talking, Heather.

I can't let him take advantage of you with those bad hands you always get. Let's see.

Just as I thought. These are terrible.

[Wellington] Pretty good, huh?

Welly, you've been holding out on me.

Are you sure you're not a card shark?

Whoops. Clumsy me.

I'll see your last raise and raise you ten taco chips.

Ten? Ten thousand dollars?

Don't let her bluff you, darling.

Who knows what you might draw?

Well, okay.

I'll take three.

Take four.

Isn't this fun? I think i'm going to be good luck for you.

[Captain] Isaac, after what you told me last night,

i had the ship's office here in acapulco compile this information

on Heather and her mother.

They're professional gamblers.

They've been barred from every ship afloat!

Look at this list of complaints!

I guess I don't owe her two years' salary after all.

Yes, well, I don't want any incident aboard my ship to be added to that list.

Sir, they could take Mr. Rothmeyer for every cent he's got!

Not if someone told him what was happening. I'll speak to him immediately.

Oh, uh, sir. This sort of thing takes diplomacy.

You don't think I have diplomacy?

Oh, no, sir, it's just that with news like this,

I think the old saying applies.

Old saying?

Yeah, never send a captain to do a bartender's job.

David?

Oh, sorry, ma'am. No one's there.

I think he checked off the ship.

Off the ship?

I think so.

You know, we don't get many santas in here.

I heard that joke before, I think it was with a kangaroo.

Can I get something for you?

I'll have what he's having.

Cranberry juice on the rocks. Coming up.

Even the drink orders aren't working for me.

You're on the Christmas cruise?

Not anymore.

I'd always planned this as a one-way trip anyway.

I didn't plan it. It just worked out that way.

Eh, life is full of little surprises.

Hmm. Tell me about it.

Last year, I was a happy man. Happy, successful, well-liked.

You wouldn't have found me in here drowning my sorrows in cranberry juice last year.

Well, things change.

At least, for you, there will be a next year.

Not for you?

Who knows?

I've been given a deadline.

Yup, it's just that no one can tell me when it is.

It could be tomorrow. Or next week.

Or, I don't know, maybe an hour from now.

-Or a year. Or five years from now. -Please, please.

I've been told by experts in their field.

They've all circled their calendars.

I had a great aunt once, who was given six weeks to live

by an "expert in his field."

So she kept talking to experts until she found one

who told her she could live to be as old as she liked.

She stuck with him, lived to be 95.

That's a nice story.

Experts know about anatomy, but they don't know about people.

I was a salesman. People were my business.

Let me tell you, if there's some happiness to be had, grab it while you can.

Hey, listen to me, I never thought I'd find myself this optimistic again.

Maybe something about that suit you're wearing.

Maybe. But if you don't live for today,

you might be here ten years from now saying,

"what happened to all the time I've wasted?"

-I wish I could believe that. -If you can't trust Santa...

Well, I admit it's hard to argue with a guy in white fur.

I don't know that I buy a word you're saying, but it's worth thinking about.

Santa's juice is on me.

Merry Christmas.

Thank you. Merry Christmas to you!

And many more!

[Ace over pa] Ladies and gentlemen, we hope your day in acapulco was truly memorable.

Now relax and enjoy your Christmas Eve under tropical skies

as we head back to Los Angeles.

Merry Christmas, dad! I hope you like it.

Thanks.

Well, it's from you. How could I not like it?

Oh, wow! This is the best painting you've ever done.

Oh, honey, it's wonderful!

Oh, thank you.

Are you opening presents before Christmas?

We always exchange gifts on Christmas Eve, Emily. Don't you?

No. No, merrill. I don't. And I don't like geese,

and I don't like to sing Christmas Carols in a foreign language.

And just for the record, I like to have a Christmas star on top of my tree, not an angel.

And I don't even like the sound of hot cinnamon cider.

What?

Oh, that was Julie. I'm sorry. I really am.

Look at me, I don't even know what I'm saying.

It's just that you have your traditions,

and I don't even feel a part of them. I just don't.

Emily.

I had no idea.

Look, don't you know that the only real tradition,

the only one that's really important

is that we're together.

The three of us.

Emily, he's right. We're a family.

Yeah, but you're exchanging gifts tonight and I don't even have your presents ready.

Emily, you are the best present anyone ever got. You...

And this.

[Emily] It's us. And it's beautiful!

-It's us! -A painting to be handed down from generation to generation.

A stubing family tradition.

Evening, welly.

Heather!

If the answer is no, don't tell me right away. I don't think I could take it.

But if the answer is yes, I might not be able to take that either.

And if you haven't decided yet,

i might just throw myself over this railing anyway so--

If that was a no, I don't think I could survive a yes.

It was a yes.

You'll marry me?

But I have to tell you something.

All I needed to hear was "yes."

I meant that "yes" with all my heart.

But there's something you have to know about me...

Mr. Rothmeyer, I hate to interrupt,

but I've been looking for you all day.

Isaac, congratulate me.

Heather duvall is going to become Mrs. Wellington Davis rothmeyer iv!

Uh, could I congratulate you privately?

Oh, it's okay. I'll see you after the show.

Champagne for the house! For the ship!

Tonight, we all celebrate! Isn't this great news?

Yeah. It's really great news.

But maybe you should read this before you lock down a date for the wedding.

I really hate to be the one to bring this to you,

but I feel I should've somehow known something was wrong

before you got in so deep.

I'm sorry.

An old adage Springs to mind...

Something about buying a cow when you can get the milk for free.

Wellington is not livestock, mother. He's a kind, sensitive man who loves me.

That's all very well, but where does that leave me?

I thought you'd be pleased. Why aren't you?

This could give us all the money you'll ever need, and all the love I'll ever need.

Why are you fighting this every step of the way?

It isn't the money. Well, it isn't just the money.

What about excitement! Adventure!

It's always been me and my little girl,

traveling the world over, living by our wits.

It's in my blood. If I stop, I'll rust.

And if I don't stop, I'll lose the only person I've ever loved.

Thank you.

Aside from you, of course.

Merry Christmas, mother.

Oh, I don't know what to say.

[Sighs]

I guess I was too busy with the cards.

I don't have anything for you.

[Knocking]

Who is it?

It's Wellington.

Just a moment. Now you be nice.

Aren't I always?

I love you, mother.

And I love you, too.

And if this is what you really want...

That's all the gift I need.

Welly!

Uh, I've been worried about you.

I couldn't find you after the show.

You look so serious.

I can't do it. I can't go through with it.

Go through with what?

With the wedding. With the joke.

-The joke? What joke? -I do this on every trip I take.

I find some girl I can impress with my money and my cello,

and I lead her along. For kicks.

See, when you're as rich as I am, you need a pastime.

And I was your pastime on this trip? That's all?

You really believed all that stuff I handed you?

The con was on.

I really thought you were smarter than that.

I'm afraid it's my turn to feel foolish.

Oh, it's you.

Foolish and very selfish.

What are you talking about?

I wanted this trip to be perfect.

A storybook picture for both of us to remember the rest of our lives.

I didn't want reality to creep into that picture at any moment.

Unfortunately, even bright pictures have shadows.

Life isn't always a storybook.

If this is the way it has to be...

If Kathryn is still alive...

No, she's not.

She's not?

I don't understand.

I've been trying to get up the courage to be honest with you,

and to be honest with myself.

I haven't much time to live, Carla.

What?

I can't believe it!

-Oh, David! -Please, please. Hear me out.

Dr. Bricker can give you the details,

but the last thing I want is your pity.

I've been feeling plenty of that for myself.

Now you see why I had to leave, why I can't ask you to...

I'm sorry, David, I do feel pity.

But not for your illness, but for your feeling

that you couldn't share that knowledge with me.

We all need someone.

And some people are lucky enough to find one person in a lifetime

they feel truly at ease with.

I found him three years ago.

I think he's still around somewhere.

I can't promise you next year.

I can't even promise you tomorrow.

But you can promise me "now."

Oh, yes, Carla. Yes, I can promise you "now."

Oh, yes, I can definitely promise you "now," Carla.

[Ace over pa] Good morning passengers.

Speaking for your entire love boat crew,

we wish you a merry Christmas and the happiest of new years!

[Cello playing off-key Christmas Carols]

[Knocks]

Ugh.

Good morning.

Captain. Merry Christmas.

What a pleasant surprise. Will you have a cup of coffee?

A glass of juice maybe?

This isn't a friendly visit, Mrs. Duvall.

We need to talk.

-I want you to know that i-- -oh, yes.

You want us to know that you're on to our "profession"

and that you'd appreciate it if we'd think twice

about sailing with you at any time in the future.

Yes, yes, I guess that's about it. But how did--

oh, we've heard it many times before.

How long have you known, captain?

-About two days. -And Mr. Rothmeyer? Did he know?

I think Isaac told him last night. Why?

Then he was lying to me.

He does love me.

Wellington! You've got to listen to me.

Sure. I could use a laugh.

But could you use a wife?

I know why you said what you did last night.

Now, you can believe this or not, but I was going to tell you the truth.

When? On our 25th anniversary?

It's what I was trying to tell you last night.

You saw something in me that no one else ever saw. And you made me see it, too.

Now you can go off and play your cello somewhere by yourself,

or you can take me with you.

Either way, my feelings about you won't change.

Because it all comes down to this: I love you.

I love you too, Heather.

I guess it's just in the cards for us.

[Ace over pa] We'll be docking in Los Angeles tomorrow morning,

but be sure to join us in the international lounge tonight

and help us celebrate a love boat Christmas!

Ladies and gentlemen, for our Christmas show, we have a very special treat for you.

A singer who has already stolen your hearts...

And god knows what else on this ship.

So, here she is to entertain you,

the star on the top of our tree,

miss Heather duvall.

["Have yourself a merry little Christmas" playing]

♪ Have yourself a merry little Christmas ♪

♪ let your heart be light ♪

♪ from now on... ♪

Another no-show from St. Nick?

[Julie scoffs] It sure looks like it.

Nobody's seen him. And this could mean my job.

Excuse me.

♪ Have yourself a merry little Christmas ♪

♪ make the yuletide gay ♪

♪ from now on, our troubles will be miles away ♪

-I gotta check on... -I'm gonna go check...

♪ Here we are as in olden days ♪

♪ happy golden days of yore ♪

♪ faithful friends who are dear to us ♪

♪ gather near to us once more ♪

♪ through the years we all will be together ♪

♪ if the fates allow ♪

♪ hang a shining star ♪

♪ upon the highest bough ♪

[Vicki] Santa...

Vicki?

Julie? I thought you could use me again.

No, I couldn't do that to you.

Isaac? Vicki? Julie?

[Isaac] Doc?

And ace. What is this, a convention?

[Emily] I guess the job's been taken.

[All] Emily?

How did you know there was a problem?

Well, you'd have to be blind not to notice that something was wrong.

Plus, merrill told me.

The captain knows?

[Captain] Of course the captain knows.

You didn't think you could pull the red suit over my eyes forever, did you?

[All chuckling]

♪ And have yourself ♪

♪ a merry little Christmas ♪

♪ now ♪

Oh, merrill, you look adorable.

Well, we all look adorable.

Hey, has anyone noticed there are seven of us back here.

And no one out there!

Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!

Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! What's this? Impostors?

Open the curtain, I see Santa's helpers are everywhere! Ho, ho, ho!

Ho, ho, ho! You were supposed to be here an hour ago.

I know I was supposed to see you earlier,

but Santa had a few things to work out for himself, a lesson to learn.

And he learned it. He learned that life is too short as it is

not to treasure each day we're given.

That lesson was Santa's gift to Santa this year.

And Santa's gift to all of you? Ho, ho, ho!

Miss McCoy? Would you please tell me what's going on here?

What can I say, sir. Looks like Santa finally got in the Christmas spirit.

[Chattering]

Ho, ho, ho! Well?

[All] Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!

This cruise has changed my life, Julie.

I'm a new man, ready for whatever life has to throw in my face.

And when you're a salesman, that could be practically anything!

I still think you should marry me.

Well, it's certainly the nicest proposal I've received all week.

-Then you'll consider it? -No.

Well, you can't blame a Santa for trying. Have a good life.

You, too. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Captain, I just wanted to say, "merry Christmas."

Yes?

Thank you. And happy new year.

And a word of advice: Give up the cards.

Oh, I'm afraid my lifestyle's changing anyway.

I tried to warn him.

And I tried to warn her.

What the heck. It's all a gamble, anyway!

[Theme music playing]