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Here you have the famous Rörret coffee table,

which has been painted bronze, it's unbreakable,

a structure with the image of two beautiful ladies.

Made of ivory and coated with a perfect fake gold.

It's a piece with Swedish design

and you can use it in your living room, bedroom

or in any part of the home you want to create an elegant

and classy look.

It'll be your favorite table

to have a coffee or an aperitif with your loved ones.

And I guarantee that this table, due to its design and standard.

Will change your life for the better.

It will fill your home with happiness.

- It's shit. - Darling, I want this shit, you know!

Jesus, it's awful.

It doesn't go with our decor.

With that glass and shoddy fake gold.

Don't bring it home, please.

Allow me to disagree.

But the gold structure is pure Chinese design.

And I wouldn't say it's shoddy gold at all.

The glass is unbreakable, so your table will last forever.

It's the last one left,

and it's a bargain.

Do you like this table?

I love it. It's the best table I've ever seen.

I've been in the business for over 30 years, I'm an expert.

So... I understand you have a table like this at home.

No... Similar.

Ah.

It isn't exactly the Rörret model.

If this table's the best, why don't you have one?

I can't afford such a high-end table.

Ah... So. It isn't a bargain. So you admit it's expensive.

It's a bargain. Expensive... but it's a bargain.

And remember, it's vitage style.

- "Vitage"! - The price doesn't matter.

You said could choose the coffee table. I want this one!

I don't want this trash in my home.

Look, babe. You chose the color of the walls,

our wedding day.

The suit I'll wear, my mom's dress.

And not to mention... Anyway.

Not to mention what? Go on, not to mention what?

That I didn't think it was the right time to have kids.

It wasn't the right time? When I'm 80, then?

It wasn't the right time for me.

Are you rejecting your son?

No, I'm not rejecting him.

You know I love him so much. I couldn't even choose the name.

- She called him Cayetano. - It was my grandpa's name.

It's a shoddy name, for a fascist bullfighter.

My name's Cayetano, too.

You're called Cayetano?

Like my dad. My grandpa, his dad and many other generations.

It suits you, not my son.

The issue isn't about your son's name,

there's no solution for that.

We need to decide what we're going to do with the table.

I need to know if you want it or not.

Look, I need to serve other customers.

I don't know how you have them,

because you're a terrible and sleazy salesman

- like the table! - Don't be like that with him.

But he said the table will bring us happiness! It's nonsense.

It isn't nonsense.

Do you see us happy thanks to the fucking table?

Do you think it's bringing us happiness?

If you buy the table and treat it well.

It will make you happy.

Treat a table well.. Do you think it's a dog?

Objects should be treated like our loved ones.

They need to be loved.

Jesus, this dude's crazy,

and he's a liar, too.

I'm not lying to you. I a most never lie to my customers.

This unbreakable glass, is it bulletproof?

Nothing is unbreakable.

A vase can be broken, a piece of furniture can be broken,

a marriage can be broken.

But, darling, I give you my word

that this glass is unbreakable!

As well as being an awful salesman, you're a dickhead!

How do I get out of here? Ah. I've got it.

So, are you going to take it?

I'll take it. Even if it's out of pride.

That's what I like. You're a man with personality.

Well... Right. I'm going to take it. Okay?

But between you and i. Do you honestly like the table?

No.

Come and fill in the paperwork with me.

INSTRUCTIONS MANUAL

THE COFFEE TABLE

There we are.

There we are.

Well. Well, well! Congratulations!

I'm the only neighbor who hasn't met the baby.

With the baby and the move, we haven't had time...

Look how beautiful, what a lovely little thing!

Hey, he looks so much like his dad!

He's his double!

Look, Ruth! Look how cute, come and meet him.

I met him the other day, mom.

Wow. Darling. You can be so unfriendly at times.

Now it looks like she's got a boyfriend or something

and it isn't going well, and she spends all day in a bad mood.

He's not a boyfriend. It's different.

That's being a teen. You fall in love, get dumped...

He hasn't dumped me. He loves me, but he won't admit it

because he's a coward.

Well, enjoy it.

Enjoy it, because they grow up and they're full of dirty looks

- and bad moods. - Yes, I guarantee we'll enjoy it.

- See you soon. - Okay.

Move that out of the way.

Congrats, daddy!

Now for the second one! Time might be up for your wife.

Two is better than one. With an only child.

You see, a they're crazy like mine.

Let's go, Ruth.

- I'll take note of the advice. Bye. - Bye. Thanks.

I see you still haven't told your wife about us.

Ruth, that's enough. It isn't funny.

- Don't you remember what happened? - What?

You tried to kiss me in the lift and I avoided it.

That's it. You were being silly.

- Being silly? - Ruth.

I know it's a difficult age.

And I understand. But stop inventing these things.

- It isn't funny. - And the days we talked?

And the nice messages you sent?

They were poems, Ruth. I recommended a poetry book

for a school project. You asked me for it.

- Love poems. - You said the project was about that.

- Look, kid... - It's Ruth.

Ruth, Ruth. If you really got your hopes up. I'm sorry.

- But that's enough. - If I showed my parents the texts,

- they won't think it's a mistake. - What texts?

- The love poems! - They were from a book!

For a school project! They weren't personal.

Ruth, are you blackmailing me?

I want you to say you love me.

Maria doesn't turn you on,

you just want to start over,

be with me and fuck me all day. Admit it.

What are you saying?

When I helped you move in, you kept looking at me.

- It's really obvious. - What is?

You like all my Instagram photos. All of them.

Ruth, I liked one photo of your dog playing with a teddy. That's it.

Just say you love me. I just want you to admit it.

Look, let's still be friends.

I like you a lot, you seem like a nice girl,

but you're 13.

I have a partner. I've got a baby... I'm a dad.

Leave Maria and your son. And we can run away tonight.

Wherever you want. I'm up for anything.

I've got to go.

Beautiful, beautiful...

Isn't it funny how the salesman is also called Cayetano?

- Why's that weird? - I don't know, I think it's funny.

Well, I don't.

How two people in the same place have the same shit name.

- It's your son's name. - Unfortunately.

Are you rejecting his name?

I'm not rejecting it!

I don't like it. I wanted a normal name.

Normal... For starters, you didn't want a child.

If you chose, he wouldn't be here!

Is this because of the table? That's enough.

Shit, a screw's missing for the glass.

Screw you.

Shit, a screw's missing.

Those fucking Swedes left out a screw for the table.

The Swedes aren't to blame, babe,

but the awful salesman who conned you with the table!

I'll call him.

- Call. - I'll tell him to bring it now.

- Call. - I'll tell him to bring it now.

Yes, call. Call him.

Hi, I'm the customer from this morning

who bought the Rönet table.

The Röre... Rörret.

Yes. No, it's perfect.

I love how it fits the lounge, it's beautiful in the lounge.

Yes. The only thing is that it's missing a screw.

One that holds the glass, yes...

One that goes with the wooden block on top...

Do you remember? Yes. There are four, but I need five.

Yes? No, I need you to bring it to me today.

Okay? I need it today because...

I'm not going... No, I'm not.

I'm not going. I spent so much on the table and I have to get it?

The least you could do is... Okay, wait a second.

Yes? Okay, okay. Perfect.

At the address on the invoice.

Yes, we're here, don't worry. Thanks, we' wait here.

Yes, we're here, don't worry. Thanks, we'll wait here.

Now we've got a screw.

Will you put that here?

Yes, darling, that's why we bought it.

I see you don't care about my opinion.

Honey, you chose everything in the house.

Okay? The only thing. I chose was the table.

And look how you're acting.

Ah. So everything else is mine?

- The baby as well? - He's ours.

So if one day we get divorced, I'll keep everything else.

Yes. You can keep everything. Keep it all, I'll be with the table

under a bridge. Both of us there! Well, the three of us.

Three. Happy now?

- I'm going shopping. - Okay.

Your pedo brother and his teen girlfriend are coming.

What should I buy?

Look, honey, you choose. I've chosen too much today.

I can choose one thing per decade.

That's enough! What should I buy?

I don't know, the usual...

Bread, tomatoes, eggs to make an omelette.

Buy cured meats. He's my brother, chill out.

He can't eat cured meats or eggs. He said he's gone vegan.

My brother's gone vegan?

Ever since his 18 year-old girlfriend is vegan.

If she was a cannibal, he'd eat flesh just to shag her! Men are like that!

Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'll see what I buy.

My brother, a vegan.

It's a personal choice.

Some people choose to go vegan, others buy shit tables.

I'm off. I'm not taking my keys.

Stay here with the baby.

- Aren't you taking him? - I need to be alone.

Well, buy wine. I feel like drinking.

I feel like drinking too, but I can't, because of the baby.

You could support me.

Today I fancy a drink. /Right, I'm off.

Watch the baby, and see if you can get him to sleep.

- Okay. - Yeah.

- Bye. - Bye.

Wow!

You were so quiet... Right.

Hey? [Do you want some music? Shall I put some music on for you?

Don't you like it? Oh, he doesn't like the music.

There we are, there we are.

What did mommy do? Did she wake you up?

Oh. Your mom's so bad!

She woke up the beautiful baby.

Beautiful baby, beautiful baby...

What's up? Why are you crying like that?

Ah... You've got a very ugly name, that's why you're crying.

Yeah? It's because of the name? Oh, the poor thing!

Oh. Oh... Daddy. Good daddy.

Daddy's good, right? How much does daddy love you?

How much does daddy love you? Does he love. You infinitely?

Hey? I'm going to eat you up! I'm going to eat you up!

I'm going to eat you up. The-table...

Do you like little table. Baby? Do you like little table, baby?

Daddy's new table? Do you like it?

Hey, what about the table? Look at the table.

Look, the new table. Do you like the table?

Have you seen what a lovely table?

Excuse me, could you recommend a good wine?

Well... A good wine depends on what you like.

This one isn't too expensive and I like it.

Thanks-a-lot?

We inform you that the super absorbent towels are on aisle three.

Maria? -Maria!

- Hi! - Darling, be careful.

- Is she your daughter? - Yeah!

She's lovely!

- Remember my friend Maria? - No.

- I held you in my arms. - Yes.

- How are you? - Good. I don't live around here now,

I got divorced, I don't know if you know.

I heard it didn't end very well.

No. The bastard ran-off -with a younger, prettier woman.

- The usual, you see. -Is dad the bastard?

Yes, honey. The bastard is your dad.

- How are you? - Good. Getting over it, I guess.

But congrats!

I heard you're finally a mom!

Yes, finally! Honestly, it wasn't easy.

Jesús wasn't 100% convinced, you know...

And when we decided, there was no way to get...

- Wow. - Yeah, over two years of treatment.

Really difficult times, Ana. But now, we have our baby

- and we're so happy. - Oh, that's amazing!

- Yeah! - What's his name?

Cayetano.

Cayetano?

Being a mom's the best thing ever.

It's hard, I won't lie.

And life as you know it.

But when you see your daughter, that love is incomparable.

I already felt it when I held him after he was born.

- It's amazing. - How's your husband?

- It's amazing. - How's your husband?

I haven't seen him for ages. I laughed so much with him!

He was always joking. How's he getting on as a dad?

Good, really happy. He's a softie, you know him.

We moved to his grandma's house, she died...

- Sorry. - Thanks. And Jesus is with the baby.

It's their first time alone.

He must wake up and get used to it.

Exactly. And I needed to get out...

And do the shopping in peace and quiet.

You won't have much of that from now on.

So enjoy it. Even if you take out the trash at night, enjoy it.

Enjoy that moment of peace.

Hello?

Jesus, someone wants to say hello.

Hey, cool daddy!

Congratulations! I've heard Cayetano's arrived!

Right? Jesus?

Hello, Jesus?

I think it's cut off.

Oh. He'll have ran out of battery or he'll be with the baby.

Oh, I'll call him another day.

Okay.

Anyway, not now, because the house is a mess.

But when we finish settling in. Come over for a coffee,

bring your daughter and meet Cayetano. Sound good?

- Yes, shall we go one day? - Yes.

Well come over.

- What happened then? Did it cut off? - Yes.

Okay... I'm going to buy wine.

Your brother's annoying without booze.

There's that really expensive Rioja we bought

to celebrate my pregnancy, and the cheaper one we always buy

which we like. Which one shall I buy?

I don't mind.

Help me out! Only you and your brother will drink it.

Which one? The expensive one or the cheaper one?

- Yes. - Yes what?

Yes.

Well... I'll buy the usual, okay?

Carlos Asienta, please go to the information desk.

Hey... Have you hung up on me?

How can you hang up like that?

I buy wine to apologize, and you go and hang up on me?

Are you stupid or what?

Hello?

SMILE AT LIFE

- Hi. Ruth. - Why are you here?

I need a favor.

- Are you painting? - Er, yes. I'm painting a room red.

- Did you tell your wife about us? - Ruth, another time, okay?

- Right now I need your help. - When will you tell her about us?

- I need you to tell her now. - I'll tell her this afternoon, okay?

- Yes? Do you promise? - This afternoon.

- Yes. - Don't say that to shut me up.

If you don't tell her, I'll come round after walking the dog

and I'll tell her myself. Seriously.

- I can't take this anymore. - Hello!

- What are you talking about? - Our things.

- Hey, those stains? - I'm painting a room red.

- I need a cleaning product. - Of course, which one?

Detergent, bleach, stain removers...

- I'll bring them tomorrow. - This afternoon.

Bring them back then, I'll come round for them.

He can return them tomorrow. Ruth, get what he needs.

- Thanks. - Are you painting the baby's room?

Yes, red.

Pink's my favorite color, my house is covered in different shades.

Especially in the bedroom. And yours?

- What? - What's your favorite color?

- Er. Red... I think. - Ah.

- Here. This is what we have. - Thanks. I'll return them later.

I'll come round this afternoon after walking Nicolás.

- Bye. - Bye.

Bye!

- What are you doing here? - The front door was open.

I've brought you the screw.

The screw?

I don't know what happened, a factory error, I suppose.

But I took this one, which was on another table in the stockroom.

Let me talk to the manufacturer so they send me another one.

The customer is so important. And as your case was urgent...

Here it is.

Sorry for the trouble. While it was designed in Sweden,

It was actually made in China.

Of course, it isn't the same, but now everything's made in China.

Yes, everything. Thanks, bye.

Is something wrong? You don't look well.

- Yes. - Shall I help you

- put the screw in? - No, thanks.

You must tighten the pieces well.

These screws hold the glass together. They must be tightened accurately.

The glass is very heavy, it may break if it isn't assembled correctly.

Although I told you it was almost unbreakable.

Thanks. Bye.

Anyway, I didn't tell you before, I've brought you this coupon

for you to fill in to win a fan.

Just fill in your details and you'll be in the draw.

- No. Thanks. I'm not interested. - If you do it now...

I'll take it and I'll put it in the draw.

No. I don't like giveaways.

I'm doing this giveaway, and a customer like yourself,

and to make up for the screw.

I'm sure you'll win.

Take my pen. It's just a moment.

Look, it's a luxury fan.

It's lovely, it's made in Japan.

- I'll get paint on it. - Are you painting the flat?

- You're decorating for the baby. - Yes.

Don't worry, I'll do it.

Give me your details and turn around so I can lean on you.

Full name.

Jesús Casas Borobia.

Jesus Casas...

Borobia with a B or a V?

- With a B. - The first is a B,

- and the second? - Both.

Okay. Your phone number?

615.35.14.

And lastly, an email address.

dearbabyjesus(jesusitodemivida)76@gmail.com.

Dear baby Jesus... Great.

All together, no hyphens or anything?

All together.

Done. "Dear baby Jesus, you're a child like me.

For this, I love you so and I give you my heart".

"Everyone brings you, I'll also bring you a cup of lard,

and a bowl of sweet honey". See how I know it?

- Yes. - It's a very nice prayer, really.

- I'm very religious. Are you? - Not really.

Hey... We could go out for dinner,

or go to the cinema or go for a drink, right?

And... Emm...

I really like you. I don't know...

I think we have...

I think there's feeling.

Honestly. I don't have many friends.

But we could meet up from time to time. If you want.

I'll bring you the fan when you win it.

And explain to you how it works.

I'll BE BACK IN ABOUT 30 MINS. IDIOT.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

Jesus!

Jesus!

Why the hell didn't you open? Why did you hang up?

Can you answer me?

- The baby. - What about him? What's happened?

- I was putting him to sleep. - And?

And... that's why I didn't open, it was hard to get him to sleep.

He started crying when you left.

Now you can't go in the room, okay?

- He's in a deep sleep. - Okay.

- Had he done a poo? - No, he hadn't.

- Are you sure you checked? - Yes.

I was freaking out when you didn't open.

Fuck, I thought something had happened.

Well, something happened.

What happened?

Jesus, answer me! Are you dumb?

The glass of the table broke.

Your new table?

The unbreakable glass?

That's karma.

You realize right?

Karma's punished you.

What's this?

It's my blood. It's mine.

I cut my finger when the glass broke.

- Did you bleed that much? - Yes.

- Are you okay? You're pale. - Yes, I feel a little faint.

It won't come out. This stain won't come out.

We'll have to throw the rug away and buy a new one.

Your fucking table's costing a lot.

- How did it break? - I don't know.

- You don't know? - No.

What a shitty table.

That seedy salesman said it was unbreakable... Wow.

What a good choice, my darling. Congratulations.

How glorious.

Wow.

Move.

I'm going to make lunch, your brother's coming soon.

Are you going to help, or just stare into space?

Unbreakable glass...

What's so funny?

The glass breaking, for fuck's sake, the whole unbreakable glass thing!

It didn't even last a day, man!

Come on... What did you do to break it?

How could you break it so quickly?

I would have loved to see the moment it broke.

I would have loved to see the look on your face.

Honestly, I'd give anything to have seen it.

Please..

Look... I haven't laughed this much in so long.

Buying that crap table was worth it for this moment.

Thank you!

Well...

I'm going to... check on the baby.

And bring the monitor.

Maria...

I'll watch him, okay? I'll do it. Carry on making lunch.

I'll only look, it's been ages since I saw him.

It's fine. I couldn't get him to sleep.

Relax-and enjoy lunch. I'll take care of it.

I need to breastfeed him soon. Can you do that too?

Just forget about the baby for a while, two hours...

Just give me two hours.

Okay, fine. But bring the monitor to see if he wakes up.

Darling...

Yeah?

You know I love you, right?

- What's this all about? - I just wanted you to know.

With your pregnancy... We've grown apart a little.

Yeah.

But don't be so dramatic.

I'm not angry about the table anymore.

Relax a little now... You look ill.

I just wanted to tell you that if I've ever hurt you,

or if I ever hurt you, please forgive me.

I'm human, sometimes I make mistakes and life is too much.

Hey...

Love..

Don't worry.

I'm sorry as well. It's no big deal.

We're acting really strange now that we're parents.

But...

We're together and well get through everything together.

Yes.

- I love you. - I love you too.

Don't you hear it?

- What? - It sounds like dripping. Listen.

Is something dripping in the bedroom?

- I'll go and see. - No, don't worry. I know what it is.

I'll go.

- What was it? - The monitor wasn't connected right.

What's up? Why are you staring at it?

-. -Did you hear that? - What?

- It'll be the door. - Are you like a dog now?

You. Hear things before people. Wow, you're acting so weird today.

You hear things before people. Wow, you're acting so weird today.

God. I didn't even have time to change.

Hey, beautiful people!

How's the world's most beautiful mom?

Really good. Tired, but very happy.

Let me introduce you. Cristina, this is my sister-in-law.

- Hi! Congratulations! - Thank you. It's lovely to meet you.

Well, I found out just a week ago that you're together.

Well, we haven't been together for so long, but well tell you.

Hey. Sorry about the mess, but with the move and the baby,

it's a mess. We still have to place things, paint the furniture...

Don't worry. I'm sure my room's worse.

Hey, where's Cayetanín? We've got a present for him.

Cayetanín... is sleeping.

And your brother's drinking wine in the living room.

Hey, how's the country's most pathetic dad?

- Hey. - Cristina, this is my brother, Jesús.

Nice to meet you!

What's up? You look really serious.

He's annoyed and feeling faint. He's just broken the table

we bought today.

He broke the glass and look, he cut himself.

- Look what a mess he's made. Look. - A cut that big?

- It's nothing. It's... - And the baby?

- What about him? - All of this would've scared him.

Yes... He's fine. He's sleeping.

There's still a little blood.

Yes. It splashed a lot. I'll clean it. That's all.

And that's all?

We'll have to upholster it if it doesn't clean.

- Blood stains are fucked up. - Yeah.

I think toothpaste gets them out.

We saw it in a crime documentary.

Yes. The killers used it to clean them.

It's good to know if you kill someone.

You're so silly.

So, what do you think about the table?

I don't know a lot about tables.

Don't be shy, Cris. Say what you think.

- It isn't pretty. - I told you.

You can't even imagine the fight we've had over this bloody table.

- That's why he's still serious. - Oh, don't be like that over a table.

Today he's being silly.

He's sensitive and feeling faint.

We're here to have fun, so you forget all the bad stuff.

Anyway, where's my Cayetanín?

I bet he's dying to meet his favorite uncle.

- You can't, he's sleeping. - Just a moment, I want to cuddle him.

- You can do that later. - I want Cris to see him.

- I can't even go in. - It took me ages to put him down.

And if we go in carefully and don't make any noise?

I love watching babies sleep! We've got him a present, too!

Ah. You shouldn't have!

We've got everything.

Oh, please! Look, it's beautiful!

And with the matching hat. It's so cute!

My gran made it. She loves these things.

Let's put it on him. I want to see how gorgeous he looks. Look!

And the hat! Look at the hat, look at the hat!

Fuck, you can't, he's asleep!

Hey. Calm down. Mate.

What's up? You're annoyed or whatever, but be polite.

- Sorry. - I'm really happy.

Don't ruin it with your crap.

Cristina, do you want to see how the baby's room looks?

Okay. If you don't mind... If you do, I can see it another day.

- Okay? - We can go in the baby's room, right?

- Of course. - Yeah, let's go.

You'll see it's the only room we've finished.

All the others, honey... Look at the house...

What's up? Don't say it's because of a shitty table.

Is it the neighbor? Does she still stress you?

I said you should report her. The crazy girl.

How can I? She's 13, man.

- So what? She's nuts! - She'll forget about it.

Tell me. You know I'll help you with anything.

But tell me what's up.

Nothing's wrong. Go to the bedroom.

I'll tell you later.

Yes, you will. I'm not leaving until I know what's up with you.

Have you seen your face?

Come on.

- What's this? - A chicken.

It's so cute. What a lovely song!

- What a cool place, Maria. - Yes.

All of these toys belonged to Jesus, he kept them from his childhood.

It's amazing.

Hey, this photo? The three of you look beautiful.

Yes, it was when we left the clinic.

Jesus cried there.

What a lovely photo.

- His eyes are like tomatoes! - Yeah!

Look, one of the few times I've seen your brother cry.

Who does he look like?

- Him, right? - Really? I don't know.

- Shall we have lunch? - Honey, who do you think he's like?

I don't know. But smile a little, brother!

Your son looks really happy and you look dead, man.

Come on, smile! It isn't so difficult.

- Who does he look like? - All babies look... the same.

He looks like you, Jesus. He'll be just as handsome as his dad.

Thanks.

Fuck... A He-Man!

What's a He-Man?

A bigorexic figurine with hair like Raffaella Carrà.

But... One of the greatest figurines ever created.

I was a fan of Monster High.

Do you see its diaper?

The bastard wouldn't let me touch it.

Once I broke his Skeleton's legs by accident

and he didn't talk to me for six months.

- I can believe that. - No, seriously.

He loved all his toys more than me.

What a time...

- No! - What?

A ninja turtle! What a time...

I love the whole eighties vibe you've given the room.

Like... It really reminds me of Stranger Things.

I chose the colors and furniture, but Jesus painted it.

He had so much fun.

It's the room he would have loved to have.

He spent so much time working on it.

You. Could tell he was excited. Right, darling?

- How many days did you take? - I don't know, a lot.

So long! It's the only room that's finished.

We promised it would be finished for when the baby arrived.

And we did it.

The color of the walls, the lights, all the toys...

It's amazing. I love it.

Cayetanín's going to grow up so happy here, I know it.

Hey, hey!

Bastard!

This spaceship was mine, right? You stole it, man!

We want it to be like his own little shelter, right?

And I don't know, maybe it's big enough

in case there's another.

What? Are you thinking about a little brother already?

Or a sister. Anyway, we'll see how these months go

with Cayetanín and we'll see.

But we have to talk about it properly.

You're not wasting any time, right?

I said the smartest thing to do was to get a vasectomy.

During the Carlist Wars, after a hard battle,

A General stopped by a mansion belonging to a housewife in Navarra.

He was so hungry, but the lady was poor.

The only things she had were eggs, potatoes and onions.

- Pass me your plate, honey. There. - Thanks.

- Do you want water? - Yes, please. Thanks.

She decided to jumble everything together.

And the General liked that jumble so much

that such an easy recipe became widespread

and he fed thousands of soldiers.

That's where Spanish omelette comes from.

You're really cultured!

No way, I read it on Wikipedia.

- But you know it! - Spanish omelette is my favorite.

It's delicious. Are you sure you don't want some?

Thanks, but I can't. In theory. Carlos shouldn't eat it either.

My love for Cris made me convert to the vegan cult.

But... I also love Spanish omelette.

- It's amazing, Maria. - Pass me the bread, please.

Do you know what else is amazing? Hummus and olives.

Hey, you haven't tried it! You haven't eaten anything, actually.

You aren't eating or talking. You're downing wine by yourself.

I'm not hungry.

At least eat some omelette.

When you drink, you snore.

With that and the baby. I don't sleep.

He's the same.

He doesn't stop all night... Annoying.

He doesn't stop all night... Annoying.

Is it tasty or not?

Yes, but I don't fancy it. I don't feel well.

- What's up? -I feel faint.

You're pale. Yes. And you're constantly sweating.

It'll be that cut. Did you clean it well?

Yes, yes. I'm fine, don't worry.

Don't drink so much and eat more. Do you want some?

No, no, no. Thanks, but I don't drink.

He's too frightened about being a dad, that's what's up.

What's being a parent like?

What... What do you fee.

Well, it's special.

My friend who had a baby last year said just as the baby was born,

she loved it more than anything.

More than her own husband! More than her own parents!

Really heavy. It was only a few seconds old

and that little person was who she loved the most!

- Scary, right? - I understand...

I understand how that can happen.

Did it happen to you?

I... I love Jesus a lot.

But... my son...

My son's what I wanted the most in life.

I don't think I'll ever do anything else more important.

It's worth existing just to feel everything I feel for him.

I don't know, I can't explain it well.

No, don't worry.

How exciting.

Sorry, brother, but in the st of people Maria loves the most,

- you're only second. - Oh...

- Honestly. - However, in Cris' list...

- I'm first. - Don't be so sure.

- Ah? - No.

- Well... Second? - Right... My mom's first.

- Of course. - Then, my four siblings,

I adore them and you know it.

Then, my dad.

My grandmas and grandpas... Carmen and Montse.

My best friends since I was four...

I also love my uncle a lot.

But... but you beat him by a little bit.

Carlos, you're number 13. You aren't even in the top ten.

Oh, Christ.

Number 13?

And your uncle almost beats me.

Ah.

Don't worry. If you continue like this, you'll move up, darling.

Okay, okay...

My grandma Mercedes is in my top five,

may she rest in peace.

- Your granny Mercedes. - You met her!

Yes. I did. And you, brother?

Who's in your top five loved ones?

Including the dead.

Well... i.

I love Maria the most.

Ah...

You love me more than the baby?

Well, I love you both.

Yeah... But your son should clearly be the one you love the most.

Right? Or what? What do you think?

Maria, he says such lovely things.

So I think this calls for a kiss.

Kiss, kiss, kiss!

- Kiss! - Oh, get a room.

Let's make a toast.

Let's toast to love, and to your baby!

The result of this love.

Look into my eyes!

Here you have the famous Rörret coffee table,

which has been painted bronze, it's unbreakable,

a structure with the image of two beautiful ladies made of ivory.

And coated with a perfect fake gold.

It will be your favorite table

to have a coffee or an aperitif with your loved ones.

And I guarantee that this table, due to its design and standard,

Will change your life for the better.

It will fill your home with happiness.

Are you sure you don't want some omelette?

I feel really bad, but vegans don't eat eggs.

- We don't... - Don't make the usual joke!

And don't you miss eating ham and sausages?

I've been vegan for two years now and I feel a lot better,

I feel a lot lighter and, in the end, it's activism.

It's a commitment to animals.

Save the animals.

- But you went vegan for her. - Of course, yeah.

She asked me to, and now I am.

And if she asked you to kill us now?

You'd be dead.

I don't have a personality,

do as she says.

I do as she says.

I wouldn't kill Cayetanín, just you two.

- We'd keep Cayetano, right? - Of course.

Then we'd have a pair.

A pair?

You're a loudmouth, we said we wouldn't tell anyone yet!

- What? What? - Not yet!

Well... I was jealous of you both and-.

I'm going to be a dad! We're going to be parents!

- Look! - You're going to be auntie and uncle.

Cayetanín will have a cousin to play with.

- A baby girl? - We went to the gyno today.

- I'm four months along, a baby girl! - Oh, congrats!

- She'll be called Cayetana. - No, she won't.

No, she won't be called Cayetana.

- No, not Cayetana. - No.

I guess you're freaking out.

- Well... - I always thought I'd be a young mom.

We, we won't lie saying the baby was planned.

But honestly, we're really happy. You know I've never been very lucky,

but... I feel like it's finally time to be happy for once and for all.

Being an uncle and dad is the best thing that's ever happened.

Of course it is. It's...

Say something, babe. Your brother's just said he'll be a dad.

I don't know what to say.

What the hell's up with you, mate?

Are you still angry or faint? I've just said I'm going to be a dad.

Aren't you going to say anything?

Are you still thinking about your fucking table?

Fuck, say something!

I don't give a shit that you've got a poor 18 year-old pregnant.

It's one of your historic screw-ups and you know it.

You'll complicate your life and ruin hers.

And if it's because of the table?

Buying that table was the biggest mistake I've ever made.

It sounds stupid, but it's true.

I'm off to the toilet.

I don't know what's up with him. Honestly, I don't know. I'm so sorry.

I'm freaking out... I mean...

I'm really freaking out, but

- I'm sorry. - He's had this paranoia before...

Well...

Sometimes he gets like this. HI go and talk to him, okay?

Stay here. I'll sort it now.

Stay with Maria.

Stay with Maria.

I'm really sorry.

Darling, when you hear this, I'll already be dead...

I killed our son.

It was a stupid accident, but it happened.

And I can't take it.

I'm too weak to tell you to your face,

and watch as you cry inconsolably because of what I did...

I can't and I don't want to experience it.

I hope you forgive me. I hope you all forgive me,

for making the rest of your life a nightmare.

I love you.

Goodbye, darling.

And forget me if you can.

Who's that message for?

You shouldn't drink so much.

It's just one glass, I need it.

Don't worry about your man, I'm sure they'll sort it out

- and he'll forget about it. - It's strange.

We had such a stupid fight over the table.

And now, look. The table's broken and we're angry. It's stupid.

Don't worry, we'll sort it out together this evening.

You'll see.

Why do you want to see him?

I can't believe what you're saying.

He's headless.

The glass cut it off.

Where is it?

Under the armchair. I didn't dare pick it up.

I've decided to jump off the balcony.

Let me think, Jesus.

Let me think a little and don't talk nonsense.

I can't take it anymore, I need to rest.

Give me some time.

Don't put me under more pressure.

I need to think.

It's me.

- Hi. - What are you talking about?

Brotherly things, don't worry.

- Is the baby still sleeping? - That's right. Still asleep.

- Okay. - Go back to Cris, please...

I don't want her to be a one with everything that's happening.

Okay.

I need to wake him up in ten minutes to breastfeed, okay?

Yeah, of course.

Give us ten minutes and we'll be back.

We're sorting it all, Maria.

Okay, thanks.

Don't make much noise.

- Don't worry. - Bye.

We've got ten minutes before we go back and Maria finds out.

What can we do to make it less traumatic for her?

We can't do anything.

What if it happened to you. Your newborn daughter?

How would you tell Cristina?

Hmm?

It was an accident. Jesus. It could have happened to anyone.

It's all so ridiculous.

- I need to die. - Don't say that, Jesus.

Look, we're going to go back to the table.

Don't say anything. Keep quiet and follow my lead.

I'll tell Mar a everything that happened.

She needs to know now.

But there's no way she can see the headless baby.

That can't happen.

But don't keep talking nonsense, please, Jesus.

Maria will need you.

Maria won't want to even look at me.

- Hi. Ruth. - Hi, Maria. Is Jesús in?

Yes, but he's busy, darling.

I want to talk to him.

You want to talk to him?

- Has he told you something? - Like what?

I need to tell you both something very important. Can I come in?

What's it about?

Let me come in and I'll explain.

Today isn't a good day. Come back tomorrow.

It's urgent. I need to talk to you both now.

Look, Ruth. Today really isn't the best time, come back tomorrow

and we'll talk and you can tell us what's so important, but not now.

Is that clear? Be careful with the door.

Your husband kissed me in the lift.

Ruth's come to see us, she says she needs to talk to us,

and you kissed her.

Are you going to tell her or shall I?

Go on, talk. I guess this has something to do with your mood today.

Talk, Jesus.

Jesús, it's better if you tell her.

Jesus, what's the matter?

Look, Jesus. I don't think this shitty day can get any worse,

so tell me whatever, just don't annoy me even more.

You! Stop your dog from barking!

Kid, grab the dog!

Can you tell me what the fuck's going on?

For fuck's sake, tell me!

Why's the dog covered in blood?

What are you hiding, Carlos?

It's a head!

A head?

Leave the flat, María.

Cristina... Take Maria and get her out of the flat, please!

Listen to me. Get her out of the flat, now!

Can you please tell me what's up?

Jesus?

María, please. Leave the flat with Cristina, we'll talk later.

Trust me. Trust me, but please leave now.

Show it to me! Show it to me!

Show it to me!

Listen to me, you don't need to see this.

Get out. And we'll explain everything later on!

- Get out! Get out, please! - Show it to me, show it to me!

Show it to me, show it to me!

Tell me what happened. Murder, suicide?

We don't know, but what happened is crazy.

- Domestic violence? - It doesn't seem so.

A couple died from the balcony of their home.

Their newborn baby. Too.

- The baby's body was decapitated. - Decapitated?

- The mom had his head in her arms. - Fucking hell.

What do the witnesses say?

A 13 year-old neighbor has had an anxiety attack,

and the doctors are treating a pregnant girl in shock, that's all.

He's the victim's brother. We've tried to talk, but...

He's in shock, and repeats a random sentence.

A sentence? What sentence?

The coffee table.

THE COFFEE TABLE