Original subtitles

Whoa-no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

in the morning, in the night when I don't feel so right, up

through the misty haze, the green old

grinds that numb my daze.

Had to smoke to clear my mind just a puff to help unwind.

Everywhere I go I take it, oh, it's like I can escape it.

Only thing I need, only thing I need.

Mean, green, wicked weed, heavy from the devil seed

feinding for it every day, you know I want that Mary Jane.

Mean, green, wicked weed, you've got a hold of me,

feinding for it every day, you know I want that Mary Jane.

Light the fire, spark the tree, make it a part of me.

Think of all the life it breathes just growing

from those little seeds.

I need my smoke today, work too hard get home late.

I just need a break, oh, one more toke that I can take.

Only thing I need.

Only thing I need.

What's that?

Mean, green, wicked weed, heaven from the devil's seed,

feinding for it every day, you know I want that Mary Jane.

Mean, green, wicked weed, you got a hold of me.

Feinding for it every day, you know I want that Mary Jane.

Oh, wow, that's the good shit.

Now I got the munchies.

Yeah.

Damn, you girls know what I want before I even say it.

Wowsers.

Getting kind of bored, to be honest.

I mean, don't get me wrong, this is great and all.

Every fucked up thing I can think of happens instantly--

boobs, murder, boobs, weed, boobs.

Well, you musty old stink hole, you're mine.

You're all mine.

It's going to be a grand, grand opening.

I'll toke to that.

Hell, I'll toke to anything.

Hey, boss.

Boss?

Boss?

Boss!

Oh, I'm the boss.

I'm Rabbit.

Rabbit is the boss.

Hi, oh hi.

Hey, oh, I'm sorry, Phoebe.

I just, uh, it's all so new here, I forgot.

What can I do for you?

Do you need help with anything before we open?

Beer on tap?

Check.

Snacks stacked?

Check.

Pin setter jacked?

Check.

Fudged packed?

OK, that's really gross.

But we actually carry that, so, check.

My balls whacked?

No, uh, you can do that yourself.

OK, that's really inappropriate.

Oh, OK.

Well, just seeing if you're paying attention.

And you pass the test, by the way.

OK, whatever.

Would you call Darla over here for a moment, please?

I'd like a word with the two of you, please.

Darla!

Get your sweet ass over here.

The boss wants to prove he's the boss.

You want to see me, Rabbit?

I mean, chief.

Actually, I want to speak with both of you

before things get nutty.

I called upon you both because tonight is a momentous night--

a kickass night, one that will set

the tone of this establishment for years to come.

That's it?

Whats what?

Your pep talk.

What else do you need?

Just don't screw up.

We'll try.

I mean--

Try isn't enough.

You have to kick ass tonight, OK?

Didn't you learn anything from my pep talk?

What more could a guy ask for?

A little spontaneity maybe.

What the fuck did you just say, day old Gingerdead?

Huh?

Nothing.

Hey, Where's that dumb shit, Rabbit?

All the weed and titties you can handle

and you're asking for that egg headed moron?

Was supposed to meet up for a game of Yahtzee with the girls.

Now wouldn't you rather play Twister

with these hot pieces of ass?

Every time we played, Rabbit always pops a boner.

And you like that shit, huh?

Hell no, made me jealous.

Been a long time since I was able to do that.

Whoa, TMI.

You stay right there.

Don't you move a muscle.

I'll go look for that bald motherfucker.

He's the only friend I got in here.

Freak better be playing hide and seek.

I need something to cheer me up.

Oh, yeah.

Rub some butter on it, girls.

Glaze me.

Oh, yeah.

Before you get to it, I want to go over a few things

with the both of you.

Being the eyes, ears, and--

you, my highly esteemed gutter sluts,

are the ambassadors to Lickety Splits Lanes.

You are the reason they come in.

The fun is the reason they stay.

But just renting them shoes and balls, not going to cut it.

We need to upsell.

Make them want more.

Like if someone wanted small shoes,

make them get large ones instead?

No, absolutely not.

I don't have the insurance coverage

if somebody slips and falls and puts them in traction.

He means like if a kid wants a soda,

you sell him a beer or a Harvey Waldinger.

You upsell the bastard.

Exactamundo.

Exactamundo.

You're going to do very good in this business.

Yeah, she goes all the way.

Your brother's a liar.

No he's not.

So are his friends.

OK.

I cannot believe this place hasn't changed

in over 25 years.

It's fabulous.

Honey, I do all the talking, not you.

Mm.

What can I help you with, fellas?

Uh-- guys, what can I do you for?

Well, as you probably know, I am

cult filmmaker, David DeCoteau.

He so is.

I once shot a movie here.

Sorority Babes and the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama.

In 35 millimeter, within these very walls.

I don't really like devil movies.

Me neither, I get so scared.

I-- I just have to snuggle wuggle with whatever's close.

Don't make me handcuff you to the toilet again.

Mm.

I think they're gay.

Really?

Well, that one.

Well, this place has so many memories to me.

I must shoot another movie here.

It has to be this place because of its haunted history.

It's called, it's a Talking Bowling Ball.

You want to feature my bowling alley in the movie?

Well, four or five depending on how the day goes, actually.

Well, the going rate for most Hollywood types

that come through here is $25,000.

Ghoul, please.

I've got $50.

I'll take it.

Due to unforeseen circumstances,

my previous business was kind of a bust.

What circumstances?

Crazy bitch tried to kill me.

Anyway, I want you to place these glorious, yet functional

collectibles around the alley and the seating areas,

and make sure everyone knows they can come up here

and they're for sale at the counter.

What's that for?

Sell drinks to the kids in them.

Tell the parents they're sippy cups.

Can do.

Most Importantly is our price chart.

First, we have a standard game of bowling that

comes with shoes and a ball.

We call it the standard game of bowling.

And then there's option number two.

This is the upsell.

I call it the gutter ball.

OK, what's the gutter ball?

Aha, the gutter ball, it will be the backbone of our success.

Whenever a rube-- a customer comes

in here to ask for a number one, I will do what?

Um, try and squeeze a number two out of him?

No, you upsell the bastard.

Exactamundo.

I'm going to upsell it.

The gutter ball is the biggest bonanza

of the bowling experience.

You never actually said what it is.

Aha!

I give you the gutter ball.

Boss, you're a genius.

I know.

They'll get so high that their munchies will just get

our profits through the roof.

OK, is this even legal?

Because this doesn't feel legal.

Just don't get caught.

So is that all, chief?

I want to get a few balls in my lane before we open.

There's one last thing.

A selling point of epic proportions.

Pizza, pins, pot pushing, I'm pretty sure we got it covered.

That's the problem.

Do you remember the dress code that you agreed to,

the conditions of your employment?

Do we have to?

Oh, yes.

Oh, mama.

Oh, come to Rabbit.

Let Rabbit grab it.

What?

We talked about this, OK?

I really want to be an actress, and

although taking your top off can get you ahead,

it also devalues me.

Oh, like you had any already.

It's the only reason you were hired in the first place.

I was hired because I can do the books and I'm not high.

You girls go roll some balls while I polish my pins.

Nice, Chief.

God, that's so gross.

She's with it.

That coochie's gonna get it.

Meeting up like Riddick.

You know, my mom always said that bowling

is the most wholesome sport a lady can play.

Why?

Because you can play with big round balls

without looking like a whore.

My mom is a whore.

Yeah, that's what my brother said.

I hate that guy.

Hey!

Oh!

You've got one!

Hi.

Are you the manager?

I am the owner of this establishment.

Well, are you hiring?

I'm so sorry, miss.

I don't have any openings right now.

You are so frigging hired.

And-- oh, here's-- and here's your uniform,

but don't you dare wear it.

Sorry, gals, I'm just not feeling it today.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

You ever find Rabbit?

Not yet, but he's here.

He's a sneaky motherfucker.

You don't think he left, do you?

Not a chance in hell.

That dummy thought he had me all figured out,

but I only let him think that.

He's not smart enough to outsmart me.

I mean, he'd be one stupid ass motherfucker if he

wanted to leave our world.

Anything you want is right at your fingertips.

And all that crazy bastard wanted was weed and women.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yeah.

Come on.

Oh.

Oh, I got it.

Need some help there, buddy?

I got it.

Almost there.

Should I stand back or--

or get an umbrella?

Oh, yes!

Yes!

Yes.

Those things are a bitch to clean.

What can I do for you stranger?

Stranger, Why don't you give me harder than catching

a greased pig on account I was hoping you'd recognize

my celebrity status and all.

Uh, celebrity like a movie star?

The hair, the tail.

Uh, no.

Ah, did you catch a load of the oinker?

You'll have to excuse me, I've been, uh, well, how would

you say, indisposed for quite a while.

How about this, Here's Hambo!

Nothing?

Uh, sorry, no.

Ah, fuck it.

My name's Hambo.

I used to be a really big squeal.

I had a kiddie show, ran for, eh, almost 40 years.

Is that right?

Used to be a pretty big pig in the pen if I do say so myself.

Uh, but that's all behind me now.

What happened, if you don't mind me asking?

Uh, the usual.

Bean counters, market research, you know, that crap.

Anyway, the kids grew up.

They bought their little shits video games and cell

phones instead of officially licensed

Hambo, trademark, merchandise.

Blew it all on booze and babes, huh?

On the nosy!

I like the cut of your jib, man.

But what brings you here to this fine establishment.

Here's the deal, I'm staging a comeback.

Retro is in.

Its big business.

And I'm putting out the Hambo brand again.

I'm going after hipsters.

You know, douchebags.

You know, the ones that wear the stupid hats

and the funny beards.

I'm going to make it new.

I'm going to make it real.

Make it edgy.

Make it dangerous.

Dangerous?

Yeah.

You know, more like bum fights than anything else.

Why are you here?

I need capital.

I'm thinking if I unload the remainder

of my officially licensed Hambo merchandise to wit--

pretty solid, huh?

Not bad, but I don't have any cash.

Well, ain't that a kick in the Rocky Mountain oysters.

Sorry pal, just can't do it.

How about this?

You give me a dedicated space in this dump, sell my wares,

won't cost you a dime.

I'll even cut you in on the action.

What do you say?

You say you're a pretty big draw back in the day.

Does a pic shit in the backseat of a car?

I'll tell you what, tonight is our official grand opening.

You come back and jump in as the master

of ceremonies for the festivities,

and you got a deal.

Done.

And done.

Oh, my God, you're Hambo!

Oh, in the flesh, little lady.

And who might you be?

I"m Candy.

You sure are sweet.

Ooh, yeah.

Were you a fan of the show when you were a little girl, huh?

I was your biggest fan ever.

Oh, you sure did grow out--

I mean, up.

Ham, you were the first guy I ever rubbed one out to.

Oh, you don't say?

Oh.

You know why I'm back?

I'm staging a comeback.

Oh my God, that's so hot!

You know, I'm looking for a new Peggy Suey!

Are you going to be holding auditions?

Oh, baby, they start right now!

I've been complacent for too damn long in this dump.

All this killing and sex is just fantasy.

It isn't real!

I need some action.

Real action like before.

I heard that.

Heard what?

Did you think you thought that because that fuzzy toothed

mouth of yours said it?

Did you find Rabbit or didn't you?

Not yet.

But you better bet your biscuits he's here.

He busted out of Bong World, didn't he?

Hell no, he didn't.

No fucking way.

Shoot, I better find that hopped up hippy before that dick donut

gets wise.

He's a sick freak, but as long as I

can keep him trapped in my bong world, I could deal with him.

I heard that.

What part?

All of it.

You thought you were thinking it.

Kiss my ass!

Crazy bitch!

Hambo, I used to love watching your show.

You know, you little girls in the audience

really made it for me.

It was an awesome show.

It was an awesome show.

I agree.

Can you help us?

Boy, can I ever.

Because Rabbit's going to grab it.

Keep it in your pants, pal.

Whichever way you like it.

We'd like to of your gutter balls, please.

Oh, it's usually me that pays for it.

Oh, you want to Bowl.

Oh.

Two gutter balls.

The sign said this was a topless bowling alley?

Yes.

You two upstanding women don't mind?

We don't mind at all.

Thank you!

Thank you!

Hi, boss.

How you doing?

Fantastic.

It's a huge success.

I never knew it'd be this good.

People like the gutter ball?

Oh, yes!

It's great!

This calls for a high five.

OK.

You're kind of like a sick perv, but like,

in that fun uncle kind of way.

Thanks.

I think.

I wouldn't let you babysit.

Now, go shake those moneymakers.

Aye aye, Captain.

Are you sure this place is OK?

Have you not learned anything from our couples counseling

sesh?

Great teams, time to trust.

Your secret is safe here.

I'm not as worried about anyone.

You know that.

I know.

But it's all good, baby blanket.

She'd never step into a joint like this.

You swear it?

Hey, I am your white Knight and you are my princess.

Nobody is ever going to recognize us here.

Hi, guys.

Fancy meeting you here.

As I live and breathe.

Rabbit.

In the flesh, just like you like it.

I thought you said no one would recognize us here.

Well, he is a nobody.

So technically, I'm right.

What is he doing here?

I don't know.

What if she sent him?

What are we going to do?

Let me quarterback this thing, OK?

How?

Well, this is me you're talking about.

I'm kind of a big deal in the underground world of espionage.

I'm Jack Bauer meets Jason Bourne.

I'll discreetly pry the information from him

and he won't even know what hit him.

You sure you can handle it?

Is Bruce Jenner a confused man?

I'm about to spit some hot fire.

What in the actual fuck are you doing here, Rabbit?

Oh, nothing really.

I just happen to own this establishment.

No shit?

None whatsoever, sir.

Respect.

So much for covert.

So, Rabbit, how did you end up owning this fine establishment?

I thought you were trapped in the bong world?

Oh, no, you two were stuck in the bong world.

I was there by choice.

Well, we'd probably still be there if it weren't

for you helping us get out.

Thank you so much for that.

If it wasn't for you, we would have never fallen in love.

Eh!

Remember the bakery?

It's doing really well.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Would you happen to have some of those cookies?

Sorry.

I didn't expect to see you, at all.

She's angry when she's hungry.

Later, Buck, buddy.

I'm sorry.

Can you believe this shit?

Oh, they'll let any-damn-body in here, I tell you.

Man, I tell you.

Tell you what, if I had known they'd let their type in,

I wouldn't have done come!

Me neither, tell you what.

In fact, I done won't be coming here no more unless they

get a handle on this.

There goes the damn bowling alley, I tell you.

I tell you what, shouldn't they be bowling at the back

of the lanes or some shit?

Yeah, you telling, I'll tell ya!

I tell you what.

Ooh, do tell.

It's quite a score, buddy.

Clinky.

Assholes.

Anyways, how did you end up at a place like this?

I thought you found happiness in the bong world.

Exactamundo.

Or in poetic terms, you were like syphilis

and a hooker there.

I was left to my own insatiable devices.

Everything I wanted, and then it dawned on me.

Well?

What happened?

I just got so bored with women, weed, and sex.

But you're a giant pervert.

I'm just fucking with you.

What else is there?

Want some?

It'd be rude not to.

uh, just--

The bong world was great and all,

but everything was just a fantasy, one

big boobed, blowjob fantasy.

And?

Oh, uh, moving on.

Uh.

I was so happy there.

I truly was.

I thought I had mastered Eebee She let me think that I was

in charge, but she's one controlling skank,

slowly sucking the energy out of her prisoners.

Oh--

You couldn't get it up anymore, could you?

Exactly.

So I stole a ton of her magic weed and escaped.

I sold it, and I bought this place.

So how's it going?

Great.

Like solid blue steel forged by Vikings.

So eww.

Not talking about that, Uncle Fester,

talking about the bowling alley.

Why this place?

I had lots of time to think about it in the bong world.

While everything was designed to make me happy, it wasn't.

My true calling is to bring a smile to the world

and follow my birthright.

Your birthright?

Getting myself laid and other people high.

Those are some lofty goals.

Not everybody can dream as big as I do.

Speaking of.

What in the name of Forest Whitaker?

What is that thing?

Just a little something I've been working on.

I call it the weed blower.

You smoke from it?

Au contraire.

It smokes you.

God damn, I'm sweating like a hog in here.

Rabbit said you could have some.

Oh, thank you, pretty lady.

Ah, it smells like bacon on fire.

That really hit the spot.

Thanks, baby.

By the way, whatever happened to that voluptuous vixen,

Velicity?

I thought you two were going to get married.

I knew it.

I don't want to hear that name ever again.

Every single time that we go out, all I ever hear

is that name.

Why don't I go find us a quiet place to sit down?

That's a great idea, babe.

Catch up with you in a minute?

Sure, baby.

Don't keep me waiting.

Toodles.

Toodles.

I just shit in my panties.

That thing is epic, man.

I know.

I mean, you could solve all the world's

problems with that thing.

There'd be no more war or Kardashians.

I was just hoping to get chicks.

That too, Yahweh.

So what's the deal with you two, huh?

Relationship status?

It's complicated.

I'm still totally in love with Velicity.

She's my sexual soulmate, bro.

She does this thing with her vagina, when I enter

that silky pond of hers, it's like I'm

inside this magical rainforest.

I mean, we make the best boom-boom together.

I'm like a child on Christmas.

I digress.

Then I met Sarah, you know, at first, I

thought it was just because we shared a bunch of scary shit

in the past, but the feelings never ended.

They only grew.

But my heart is still with Velicity, man.

Torn between two women.

Ain't love grand?

It's fucking awesome, bro.

But it also completely sucks.

My head tells me I got to shake one of them loose,

but my heart won't let me, and my boner wants a third.

Oh.

Can I take one of them?

I don't care, either one.

It's not going to happen thunder lips.

Well, look, I got to go talk to Sarah.

First, let me contribute to your new business venture.

Nope, nope, nope.

Your money's no good here.

It's on the house!

Go have a good time.

Hell's to the yeah, man.

Thanks.

Yeah, baby!

Nice pull.

Next round's on them.

Next 12!

You-- you guys are too much.

Can I get a picture of you?

I tell you what.

Is that a yes?

Learn to speak American or leave the damn country,

I tell you.

Shut up!

You got a name?

Joe Cracker.

Of course it is!

Hello?

Can I help you, you unstable looking gentlemen?

Uh, we came in here to have fun and stuff.

Perfect.

You came to the right place.

This doesn't look like a skate park, dude.

Well, that's good to hear because this

is a bowling alley.

Told you.

When we saw doors in the roof, it didn't look right.

What do we do here that's fun?

Bowl?

Bowl.

Yeah, man.

We'd like a bowl.

I'm going to go out on a limb and figure

I'm not going to have any problem of selling you

a gutter ball.

We want to bowl, smoke a bowl, and look at titties.

Maybe even touch of few?

In that order.

But whatever.

Do you know how to bowl?

Dude, we pick up spares like--

like we pick up your mom.

Well.

What does AMF stand for?

American machine and foundry.

They manufacture all of the equipment that's

used in bowling alleys today.

I thought it was, a mucus face.

I thought it was assy monkey fart.

I thought it was a mutant freak.

That's what it is.

I like that one.

Then you'll love this.

This is the mega tornado sprinkler.

Whoa.

It's by Smoke Cartel, the Amazon of the bong.

I want to wrap my lips around it like an Anaconda.

Cash only.

Shoes only.

Fuck.

Hey, Dick's, AMF, adios motherfuckers.

Thanks for all the blowies, girls.

You've been great, but a stallion needs to run free.

Whoa, where the hell do you think

your candy coated ass is going?

I know that chrome dome Rabbit just blew this taco stand.

Now it's my turn.

No, no, you don't.

I told you he's here.

He's just the reigning hide and seek champion.

Haven't found him yet.

Olly olly oxen fucking free!

You're the reigning champ of talking out your ass.

He's gone!

Now I'm flying this coop with or without you.

Now, what they got out there that I don't have in here?

I want to get laid for real!

Dip my breadstick stick some marinara!

If he leaves his strength will be at full power

then I can ensnare him back into my bong world

and grow and take over the world!

I heard that, dumb ass.

So what?

Let's go get that motherfucker!

Now you're talking.

I don't know if they're buying,

but the rednecks on lane 11 seem to have

a five finger discount on beer!

Well, I'll be a pig dipped in shit.

It's you!

It's really you!

Me?

Who you?

Oh, porky, porky, porky.

Porky.

Hold your chopsticks, honey.

You don't get to eat me, I am the great and powerful Hambo,

at your service.

You are the inspiration for my badass doll.

The Gook?

The Gook?

This me?

That's you.

Make me richie rich.

Oh, picture.

Picture.

Uh, keep the doll, and I'm going to throw in,

as a bonus, two free tickets to go bowling.

Bowling?

No, bowling.

I like shocker!

Shocker!

Shocker!

Bowling.

That's a little different, honey, but I'm all for it.

Nasty!

Time to pick that up.

No bro, you're ready for the circuit.

Tell you what.

Here you go.

Oh, well, thank you, sweetheart.

Here's a little something for your sweet ass.

And you just keep it coming till I tell you to stop.

Thank you, guys.

I'll tell you what.

Thanks for the beer.

Tell you what.

Tell you what, why do you go and get your ball rolling.

Sure.

Where is my ball?

Tell you what.

You're going to tell it what.

Oh, I see something.

Yeah?

Oh, my god!

Tell you what!

This place isn't half bad.

Didn't think anyone bowled anymore, but a couple of peeps

here.

It's--

Maybe, but I only have eyes for you.

Do you only have eyes for me?

Well, about that.

You see, it's kind of difficult you know--

Larnell, I love you.

I really do.

But you can't keep a girl like me waiting.

At some point, a girl like me is going to get tired and sick

of a guy like you.

So you're saying I still have some time?

No.

I'm saying you have to make up your mind

right here, right now.

It's like that, huh?

Yeah, it's exactly like that.

Crap.

And we have the evil bong ashtray,

very popular item for only $10.

I don't think so.

$5.

Just take it.

Thanks.

Velicity!

what-- what a surprise.

Uh, you shouldn't be here right now.

Why not?

It's just-- no reason.

It's just not as if there's people hiding from you,

and one of them wants to rip your hair out

and cram it down your throat.

It's--

Larnell's here, isn't he?

Why on Earth would you think that?

You don't have to tell me, just point.

Oh, I don't know what you're going on about.

Rabbit, If you don't tell me where he is,

I'm going to cut your head off and roll a stripe with it.

He's right over there.

Thank you.

You sure this is the place?

That honky is definitely here.

I could smell his high karate.

Then what are we waiting for?

Let's go get the prick.

Whoa, get a load of her.

Are you coming or what?

You go ahead and do some Rabbit recon.

I want to warm up.

You going to kill her?

Uh, yeah, sure.

Well, have fun, freak.

I always wondered if it's true.

If I pork a real woman, I'll turn into a real man again.

I intend to find out.

Can the screams, lady.

What are you?

For the first time in a long time, I'm horny as hell.

You think I'm just some cheap floozy?

Hell no!

How much are you?

How can you have any money if you don't have any pockets?

Don't you worry, sugar boobs.

I got dough.

Wow.

You just got real hot, cookie boy.

You like that?

Oh, yeah, baby.

My dough is starting to rise.

Show me what you got, sexy.

Oh, wow.

I knew it.

Uh, Velicity, what are you doing here?

I was just helping this poor blind girl.

Larnell, I know who she is.

She's a home wrecker.

I'm a home wrecker?

I would call you a home wrecker.

Well, I said it first, just like I was dating him first.

Ladies, can't we just come to some sort of an agreement?

Shut up!

Don't touch him like that!

What if I poke you like that?

I'll poke you harder.

This is so awesome!

Oh, man.

This is awesome.

It's a disaster.

Do something.

Oh, I got it.

This is a job for the Weed Blower.

I had my money on Sarah by the way.

She's feisty.

Your hair is so pretty.

I love your shoes.

Thank you.

And your pert lips.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Unexpected side effects.

Horniness to the Max.

Hey, can I borrow that thing, like forever?

Sorry, friend.

It's too much power for just one man.

I got it. - A boner?

Me too.

Uh, no, beside that.

The solution to the problem.

Talk to me, Goose.

Listen, ladies, if I may interrupt for just a moment.

I don't want to spoil your menage-a-flaw here, but I

think I got the answer to--

to the problem here.

I don't see any problem.

Me neither.

The feelings you have now are temporary,

but the decisions you make last a lifetime.

Well, spit it out, dude.

Bowling for love!

10 pins, 10 lanes, winner takes Larnell.

Wait, that's your solution?

That's a terrible idea.

I'm in.

Me too.

Oh, baby!

I don't know if this will work, but I sure am digging it!

Oh, Gingy, I've never had it this good before.

Oh, no!

Oh, not yet!

I'm going to cream!

Sorry.

Strike!

I'm going to still get a strike.

I'm going to get a spare.

Wait, I want a strike.

Oh!

Boo!

Surprised to see me, motherfucker?

A little bit.

How did you find me?

I followed the slime trail.

Why do you always have to harsh my mellow?

I've got a good thing going here.

You stole my magic weed, motherfucker!

Lots of chumps walking around here playing with their balls,

thank you very much.

They'll do nicely in my bong world.

I'll be stronger than ever because of you.

These people are happy.

And because they're happy, I'm happy.

And that's what people want, true happiness.

Not that fake shit you sell.

Oh, shove that happy shit up your ass!

Look at that couple over there, they're happy, see?

Where?

I don't see nothing.

What?

Whoever gets this is the winner.

Make that the loser, loser.

I've waited a long time for this.

I'm going to make mincemeat pie out of you jerks.

And I'm going to save you for last, toots.

Happy!

Happy!

Everybody happy!

You had enough of these!

You're saying really racist shit!

Racist shit everywhere!

Here, you can have it.

Christ, don't give it to me.

It's a little pig nose.

Now you've done it, you bald bastard.

I don't even know who you are, toots,

but I'll consider you a bonus.

Damn, this feels good.

Prepare to meet your baker!

What the fuck is that? - Get happy!

- What are you doing? - Come on, get happy!

Come on, get happy!

Make it your butt hole whistle with happiness.

Geez, I don't know what came over me.

You mean you don't want to kill us anymore?

Kill you?

Nah, I'm good.

You ain't just saying that?

You aren't into orgies, are you?

I mean, come on, can't we all just get a bong here?

Uh, shouldn't you girls be finishing up?

No matter who wins, we're all winners.

I agree.

I like to share.

That's so nice.

And hot.

I think I'm going to cry.

Hey, why don't we let the little dude roll the last ball.

Me?

For reals?

Wonder where the bitch bong went?

Come on, center it.

Center it. Gah!

What the fuck?

Right here, mother fucker!

Huh?

You stupid ass crackers, you've

been smoking Rabbit's weed.

That's my magic weed.

I own your asses now.

You're going to do what I want you to do.

I'm bringing you hoes back to my bong world.

Rabbit.

Sorry guys.

You crackheads never learn.

I got your balls right where I want them.

I told them not to fuck with Eebee.

Ohh, yeah, baby!

Weed is life!