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Film studio TITANUS presents.

Production of Jolly film.

TOTO

Ebbe Lane

Louis de Funes, Mario Carotenuto.

In film.

TOTO, EVA AND THE BANNER

Cast: Giacomo Furia, Jose Guardiola.

Moon Pilar Gomez Ferrer, Ricardo Valle

Enzo Garinei, Guido Martufi.

Francesco Mule, Anna Maria Marki

Anna Maestri, Gianni Partanna,

Anna Maria Di Giulio, Sylvia de Vietri.

Ballet Pepe Alonso with Luigi Pavese.

The plot and the production scenario Vittorio Metz, Roberto Janviti.

Operator Alvaro Mankori.

Scenography by Piero Filipponi.

Interior of Luigi Pavese.

Costume designer Adriana Berselli.

Sounders Giovanni Rossi, Emilio Rosa.

Operator Guglielmo Mankori Assistant operator Sandro Mankori.

Makeup artist Giuseppe Annunziata, Hairdresser Maria Angelini.

Assistant director Mariano Laurenti.

Installation of Julian Atenti.

Music by Gorni Kramer.

The songs are performed by: Abby Lane, Roberto Altamura.

Producer Franco Palagi.

Director Steno.

Joint Italian-French-Spanish production.

All the events, the names of the characters in the film are fictitious,

and any coincidence with real people and events

purely accidental and unintentional.

Madrid

1780, come on!

Domingo, I am a foreign guest in this Spanish prison,

and you must call me "signer of 1780".

We go, we go, the chief does not wait.

The chief does not wait? Wait. I waited longer.

Let's go! "In the dressing gown?" "What dressing gown?"

Oh, in the dressing gown! The boss is at home here, but... nevertheless...

You are welcome.

Okay, okay, so you're leaving our institution.

From now on, you and your accomplice are free.

Minute, signor chief, I do not like the word "accomplice".

Calm down, Jose, I understand that you do not like this term.

Chief, he is not my accomplice.

I met him in the Plaza de Toros, where he traded sweets.

On that day he became my driver, secretary, servant...

Listen, we all know about him: Servant, driver,

swindler, for which there is an armed robbery, preceding your meeting.

So know that when you meet me, this little naughty boy, let's call him that,

forgot about his past and devoted himself to a nobler occupation.

Fraud! "Why use these terms, signor superior?"

I believe that the art of using naive people -

it is an integral part of an intelligent person.

It's a pity that your mind brought you here, dear La Spada.

I was brought here not by the mind, but by the carabinieri.

My mind allowed me to reach the highest peaks of my profession.

Such as an attempt to endure the "Spring" by Botticelli

- from the Uffizi Gallery in Florence. - She failed.

Signor chief, she failed, because in the Uffizi there is a work schedule.

I came, and Uffizi did not work,

so I found the gallery closed.

Dear La Spada, you are an unusual, strange person.

Now that you are free, do you have any intention to take up the old one?

Never again, Signor Director, I will return to the village.

To the village? And what will you live?

- Chickens! Chickens, signor boss! - Great idea.

- Congratulations, signor! - Me too.

Bye, buddy!

Freedom is beautiful! "And the village makes me sad."

"What village?" "The one where we're going to grow chickens."

You do not understand anything, Jose! The only chickens that interest me,

they are here in the city.

Eve! "Raoul!"

"Eve, darling, why are you here?" "I found out that you're leaving today."

- Are you surprised? - Little.

Let me see enough of you! Have you suffered these long three years?

Without you it was hard, I did not turn out any good work!

"You are an indispensable companion." "Just a companion?" - Naturally!

We only had business relations. "What a misfortune!"

- For me, no! - For me, yes!

Do not start all over again, where do you want to go?

To the post office, I must send an urgent telegram.

"Do you already have an idea?" "More than an idea."

I prepared the biggest robbery of the century!

Explain to me, what are we talking about?

As always, about works of art!

This time, the most important figure in the game will be a certain Scorchetti.

Who is he? "One great copyist."

He will come from Italy.

Smile.

A beautiful, mysterious smile. Even more mystery.

Idiot, is this smile like a Mona Lisa smile?

Yes this is a grimace! "Maestro, I do what I can."

Oh, yes, right? Oh, yes, right? In your opinion, this smile of a feeble-minded paranoid

and there is the famous smile of the Mona Lisa? I'll peek your eye!

I'm not a Mona Lisa and I do not want to be.

If you want to copy the Gioconda, go to Paris, to the Louvre.

In Paris? Do you think they were waiting for you there?

If you had money, I would be in Paris and copied the Gioconda.

Make one copy and... "I do not have a single copy!"

I do everything from memory to hearing.

I do not want to show off, I just do not have a smile...

All I need to know about the art and smile of Gioconda, I have here!

It's all here, you know?

- Smile... - Yes Yes...

- No. - What? - Furuncle. "Where?"

Well, what are you telling me? And I'm a fool, I'm listening to you!

"Here", then in the cranium!

"Maestro, will I correct it?" God forbid! God forbid!

Hold it! Arrest this madman!

The Gioconda is not touched and especially not corrected!

Before touching it, you need to step over my corpse!

I've been in this studio for 20 years, and you never let me draw!

"Are you raising your voice?" No.

Besides, do you allow yourself to fan your fingers out?

Ah well? Are you fanning your fingers out? Be silent!

In this workshop I command!

I am a maestro, professor, the famous Scorceletti! Clear? Shut up!

And you are a stupid student.

Suppose... I lost my mind!

- Who pays rent for the studio? - I!

- Who makes household purchases? - I!

- Who buys brushes and paints, etc.? - All I!

Here you see? You're a fool! Therefore, you have no right to draw. Be silent!

Yes, I did not think about it. "You must think about it!"

I can not take it anymore! If the paints were not poisonous, I would eat them!

"So, I'm no longer needed." Not needed.

"A thousand times, no." Open the door! Now!

Is that how you want to be an artist?

"Is Scorcheletti here?" This is maestro.

Maestro is me, but if I need to pay for something, I'm not here!

Telegram. Will the signora or her husband sign?

What a husband! What a signora! You're blind, do not you see?

Would I have married him? Where is your head? Who took you to work?

Go, go, change your clothes!

Do not pay any attention to him, he's a fool. Without citizenship.

How did you come to mind asking who will sign, me or he?

The pupil does not subscribe, only the teacher.

Do we want to discount this receipt? And depreciate it!

Do we want to leave it to our descendants or not?

"They do not pay attention to this in the office." "They're not!" And I draw! Go away!

- Excuse me, but a tip? - Tipping?

- Seven floors! - Do you have the audacity to ask for a tip?

In that case, you are a greedy insatiable! Do you see what is written on top of it?

Scorceletti! Do you know who Scorceletti is?

It's me! Great artist! This signature is worth a lot!

"Do you know what the autograph hunter would do for this signature?" - What?

- I would! "So he will kill me." - Yes, what kind of "kill"! "Kill"!

"Zamomil" an excessive amount for the opportunity to have it!

A young man, this signature in 200 or 300 years

will cost millions, billions! She has no price!

Well, today I'm kind.

Give me 10.000 lire, and we will not talk about it anymore.

10.000 lire? I only have 100 liras!

100 lire? Just? Well, you owe me 9,900 lire.

As soon as you earn, bring them to me.

Go, just do not spoil this signature, it's worth a lot!

"You scoundrel, what are you doing?" Nothing!

"You defiled Gioconda!" No! "You must not touch the brushes!"

You're a painter! You can only take a shaving brush!

Do you understand? Do you understand? Hands on the place!

Just look! Scoundrel!

Be silent! Let me read it.

"Let me read it and do not peek." No!

So...

- We are really in demand! - Good news?

Great! Pack your bags! Go!

"Where are we going?" "To Spain, to Madrid!"

"Why are we going?" Copy the work of one great artist.

- Artist Tachek. Techek. - I do not know him.

Of course, you're uneducated, you can not know Tachek.

Tachek is the greatest artist, he is in all encyclopedias

with a photograph in full face and profile, in all kinds.

This is an artist who created great works! Techek, read it.

"I ask you to come to me in Madrid,"

make a copy of the famous painting. Tachek.

"Money transfer follows." - Wow!

I became an artist of international importance.

I'm going to work in Spain, Madrid.

"There's Prado in Madrid!" In Madrid...

"Is there a pond in Madrid?" Yes. Only in Madrid there is a pond?

"Only in Madrid." You're a fool!

Have you ever been to Villa Borghese?

There is a large pond near which dogs walk...

The Prado Museum.

Only Goya could write such a masterful work.

Inspired by the tragic event of the invasion of Napoleon,

he created a masterpiece of the highest moral and spiritual significance,

pierced with stunning realism.

Pay attention to the originality of the composition

located opposite the two groups.

Look at the group of sentenced rebels and sentencing soldiers.

Let's talk about the sentenced... admire the energetic drawing...

An energetic drawing full of drama,

and warm color combination...

Color saturated, but not dull ..

If you compare Goya with any other artist,

you will have no doubt...

"Who says so much?" "The one to whom it is proper to speak!"

This is the famous professor Francisco Montiel, the largest researcher of Goya.

If he says that the painting belongs to Goya's brush, no one doubts it.

If I say this, three years in prison!

- But if the picture is genuine... - I'm talking about a fake picture.

Hold your attention

at one of the moments most characteristic for this canvas: Blood!

It is the blood that impregnates the earth and colors it in tragic purple.

Do you feel the pungent smell of blood pouring a key from open wounds?

"Goya managed to write even a smell!" Professor...

"Do not bother me, signorina!" Let's talk about the smell of blood... - Professor!

It seems that it flows out of the canvas and drips onto the floor...

You're going to take Goya! Back!

- Where did you go? - She feels bad. - Everything is fine with her.

I do not understand anything! - I'm aware, it's okay! Follow me and keep your mouth shut.

Do not crowd, you block the air! Move back!

Gutierrez, go, bring a glass of cognac!

"Professor, is she bad?" "Two glasses of cognac!"

"In the meantime, I'll take care of the signora!" - Signorina!

So, I'll try to explain to you, but you still do not understand.

Raul, tell me the truth, I do not want to take up work without knowing anything.

These things do not interest you.

This is Mach Naked. Do you like?

And you say that I'm not interested?

- Come here. Come here! - This thing interests me very much!

"It's Mach Dressed." I'm interested in that!

This or that... these are two famous masterpieces of Goya!

They have a fabulous price!

Imagine how much the third Mach could cost, if it existed.

Do you think it exists or not?

- I'm on the road. - Third Mach? - No, the person who will create it.

That's it: "I love you, I want you," how to say?

"Those sneakers." - No! No! No!

Those ke... those ke... "caps", "sneakers".

"What caps?" - Those? What are those? What are these? Neither those, nor these!

"Those Q'ero".

Those Kieros, as in the word Carabinieri. Kiero!

- Those Q'ero! - Well.

And this: "Kiss me hard, or rather, hard," how to say?

The ba...

Be...

- Ba... - Be...

Well?

On!

- "Besame..." - "Besame the Mucho."

Mucho, very good.

But this: "Delight of my heart," how to say?

"Alma de mi is a corazon."

"The bark of... the zones!" "Zones?" There are 11 of them. Alma de mi... - Corazon!

I told you that! For five hours already I've been teaching you Spanish...

How are you going to become an artist? I can not imagine it!

I would bury myself in books with my head!

"Alma de mi mi coronas," and not the crust of the zones! "Corazon"!

You must keep your tongue between your teeth. Corazon. Somnki.

Look at me, look at your mouth. Corazon!

"Maestro, you spit in my face!" "You deserve it!"

A young man, we must learn Spanish,

otherwise there will not be a conversation with the girls! Clear?

Let's continue without a book, come on!

- (In Spanish) Is this place occupied? - What?

- (In Spanish) Is it busy here? - Oh, thanks.

Maestro, what did the signor ask?

"What signora?" The one who has now entered.

This?

"This is not a signora." - Who?

Probably, it's someone from the equestrian circus.

Let's leave it alone, we'll continue the lesson.

"Esta Muchacha megya flouro." "This girl really likes me."

- "Those Q'ero." - "I love you."

- "Besame the Mucho." - "Kiss me hard, still, even more."

"Alma de mi my corso." It's easy...

Your unexpected love

I was thrilled by the breast already.

Blood burns in me with happiness,

But restless on the soul.

Excuse me, what do you want? "Did you tell the truth?"

I do not understand her. "She does not understand Italian, speak Spanish."

- It is not easy! - (In Spanish) Do not you deceive me?

I know what to say to win, not to push the girl away!

(In Spanish) What happiness, finally I met my love!

- (In Spanish) I want you! - Help! I'm sounding the alarm!

"Wait, we'll go to jail!" "Better prison!"

"Girl, here is this fat man!" "I do not like!"

"What are you saying, maestro!" "Take the suitcases!" It's better the bull!

"Shut it, or this one will come out!" A! You pinch my leg!

- What happened? What's happening? - Like "what's going on"? I'm in trouble!

Here a mad beast! Excuse me, when do we arrive in Madrid?

- "Manyana pore la manana alle dychi." - Game? Did you eat game?

No! "We did not eat any game!"

He says that we arrive tomorrow at 10.

"Thank you very much, sir." "Do not".

Who is this Nadia? Probably a beast!

Let's look for a free compartment,

and until the morning there we'll cross over,

and then the Spaniards will consider us ignorant.

Finally we arrived!

"Come quickly, the train leaves." No, the train has the final stop here!

"You'll kill me!" "Quieter, sir, I can not do this!"

"How can you not?" They are heavy!

- Do not fall apart! Or are you from a test? - Oh yeah!

"Is that how you want to become an artist?" "I'm a porter for now."

Quiet, keep it down. "Is that how you want to become an artist?"

Wait. What are you watching?

Never seen two foreigners? Go away from here!

"You must help me." Are they heavy? Yes.

"This one I'll take." Yeah, overworked!

Someone must help me, call the porter.

"For the sake of two suitcases, call the porter?" - Well, what two suitcases!

"Do you have the money to pay the porter?" "Yes, Signor!"

Porter! "Yes, Signor."

Take... Take it...

What are you staring at? "Como?"

Yes, Como! We came from Rome!

"Como?" He said "chest of drawers"!

- Chest of drawers? Then he told you. - Why? - Because you look like a chest of drawers.

"Are you not a Spaniard?" Yes, I had a Spanish woman as a child.

And you? He's even more of an idiot than you. Bye.

(In Spanish) I do not understand. "Go to the loony bin!"

"If he leaves, where shall I go?" Come on, come on! "I can not do it!"

- Mom! - Leg! Right on the little finger!

Maestro, I have a feeling that they are laughing at us.

Have you noticed them just now? They walk behind from the station.

"They're laughing at us!" How could you think that? They are fans.

They follow us, because they realized that I am a great artist.

It's just sympathy. You'll see, they'll ask for my autograph.

- (In Spanish) Hey, you! - You see?

(In Spanish) You stopped the movement, the carnival is over.

"He's asking you." "Ah, so you are Italians!" What is this masquerade?

What masquerade? Signor, are you blind? We're not in a masquerade.

We are dressed in Spanish, because we are in Spain, trying to match.

Ah well? Okay, explain everything to the police.

- But why?! We are honest people! - I do! - But not me? - I do not know!

"Signor General..." "I'm not a general." "Colonel..." "No, neither."

I'm an Italian, I do not understand this!

We are here for work, at least I am, and he is my student.

Invited by the Marquis de Castelvicardo, right? - Yes.

He's a very good man, gentleman, and besides, the Marquis!

We came here to draw. "Then let's go to the Marquis."

We must go there! Do you understand?

What happened? Who shot?

I shot, calm down, Jose! Take that knife away.

And why? "Bark beetles!"

Do you shoot them with a gun?

My dear and naive Jose, try to understand.

In the old frames there are bugs, and bugs make holes!

This frame is not old, and there were no holes in it. I made them, with the help of a gun.

Here are 3 or 4 hundreds of pellets. Now you will extract them with this tweezers.

- Okay, but it's work for years! - Shut it!

In order to do antiques, it takes centuries!

This is the prelude to the magnificent symphony of my plan.

Give the world to Scorceletti and make him equal to Goya!

Do not you hear the melody of preparation for the decisive blow?

The professor is already fascinated by Eve,

this house, in which Goya lived, was bought by me in accordance with the plan...

bills will soon come to protest, but I fade much earlier.

This canvas is genuine, of that era, and bugs in the frame.

Everything is perfect, you can sleep peacefully.

You do not know who I am!

Mom, what did the police need here?

- "We are long distance!" - Quiet! - Yes, where there is quiet!

Can we come in? Marquis home?

Come in. "Come in."

"Are you Marquis de Castelmoscardo?" Yes. "Do you know these two?" No.

How is "no"? Marquis, you sent me a telegram. I am the famous Scorceletti!

"Ah, Scorceletti!" "And this is Tobiah, my student, so to speak!"

"I know them, but what have they done?" "Nothing, but look how they are dressed."

"Why are you dressed like that?" "We are in Spain and dressed in uniform."

As they say: "In each bag... its own clothes!"

Marquis, look at this, how he is dressed!

Maestro! They are my guests, I will be responsible for them.

If so, good. However, be careful, they are a bit of that...

Hey, you, carabineeros, well? Do you know who I am?

I'm an Italian visitor! Clear? I can demand to arrest you!

"Maestro!" Sorry... "I will not forgive, he insults me!"

Artists are strange people. Lead the signors to the door.

- Thank you. - Goodbye.

To the door, and close it properly!

"Do not be angry, maestro. "They angered me!"

Hello. "Maestro, I introduce you to my wife."

Your wife? What a beautiful wife!

Signora, my compliments!

You are very pretty, even very, very-very! Thank you.

You have a good taste!

What are you cute! How could you marry this...

- Scorchetti. - I complimented your wife.

She's very sweet. I would like to start copying the picture right away, so I'll go.

"She's not here, but in Prado." In the Prado.

Scorchetti, do not get distracted, let's talk about business.

I asked you to come to make a copy of Goya's painting "Mach Naked."

What did you say at the beginning? Picture of the artist Tachek?

- I? That's what you said! - I probably broke out.

The Marquis. I wanted to tell you something, otherwise he is timid and shy.

Speak. "We've traveled a very long time,"

here, in Madrid, there is good air, and we have an appetite.

"Enough of this, you are my guests!" Thank you. Jose!

- Yes, at least something! - Jose! - At least something! - Jose!

Hungry! We are hungry! We die of hunger!

- I understood! - You say "goat"!

I understood, I called my servant.

- His name is "Goat"? - Jose. "Is the goat a servant?"

Jose, lead signors so that they can refresh themselves.

Have we already fallen apart?

- Maestro, refresh yourself... - Aah!

You could choose a copyist not so idiotic!

It's impossible, impossible, dear!

Then he would not be as adept as this.

Only those who have empty brains can perfectly copy the picture,

not adding anything from yourself. The bigger the idiot the copyist, the smarter he is.

"In that case, this one is Raphael among copyists!" - Exactly.

Scalpel.

Solvent.

Tweezers.

Hurry!

Gauze.

- What kind of gauze did you give me? - This one, sterile. - Sterile? Well!

Binoculars.

This Maha of this... Goya. She's just like mine.

Maestro. - What? "Are we going to do a surgical operation?"

You said cool, this is the first time you hit the mark.

Surgery. Only not surgical, but the operation "Mach"!

Why do we need bandages?

You're stupid and you can not get away!

Quiet!

Quiet! Who is it?

"What did we have today at the Marquis?" Bow.

You should know that the onion smell spoils the paint.

According to my system, the Scorceletti method,

I need the paint to be sterile

and bacteriologically pure!

Give me the lens.

What does the microbe under the antibacterial effect

antibiotic penicillin? Dies!

And in fact, we see a few corpses.

How does that proverb say?

"The microbe is dead, long live another microbe." Really...

Who is it? By the way, about another... What are you doing here?

- Are you talking to me? - How dare you copy my copy?

How does it "copy your copy"? What nonsense!

If the original is here, why do I need to copy your copy?

"Because you're a fool!" What did you say?

And seemed so small. "The fool?" Yes, you have in mind.

How dare you? Yes, you are a fool!

Think what you say! "I draw Mach Goya!"

Leave me alone! "That would be too easy!"

It would be too easy! You use the fact that I'm an Italian visitor!

I came from Rome to make this copy and I will not allow here "everyones"

copy my copying art!

"Do you want to know something?" I'm also Italian. - Really?

- A visitor? - By origin.

By origin! And I thought... And he by origin!

By origin or not, stop it, or I'll order the police to arrest you.

Do not make me laugh! I? "Want to know something?" Yes.

"I'm not joking with you!" Ah well?

"I'll blow your nose!" "Will you ruin my nose?" - Yes!

Will you ruin my nose? Then... like this!

Well, how? "A scoundrel!" He attached my mustache to Mahe!

And I'll attach them to you too!

"And now I'll attach them!" No, stop!

First you have to step over my dead body!

I thought that my copy is the top of perfection, but your...!

I'm afraid to seem immodest, But this one is written by TITAN!

It's amazing, it would have misled any expert! - Still would!

Professor, excuse me, one signora wants to talk to you.

With me? It's impossible, drive it! Drive her away! I am really busy!

- You are not allowed! - Hello, Professor!

It's me. "It's you, Signorina!"

I came to thank you. You were very kind to Prado.

"It was my duty." I want to thank you.

You are a great connoisseur of art, and you will be happy to have this book.

She talks about the palace of the Marquis de Cammarata. It was bought by my uncle.

Your uncle bought the palace of Kammarat? It is wonderful!

The Marquis of Cammarat married on June 11, 1810, on Donna Joaquin,

the daughter of the Osunsky Duke. The Osunsky Duke was Goya's friend!

I readily believe. But my uncle bought the palace, because it's big and comfortable.

It is interesting to visit the office of a man of art, such as you!

Who is it?

Josef Bayeou, wife of Goya.

Yes, she's a scarecrow! I heard that Goya drew very beautiful women.

Yes, you saw them in the Prado! These are two Mahi!

Here they are. Mach Naked and Maha Dressed.

Mach Nude first, Maha The second dressed,

but where is the third?

Excuse me, forgive me, Signorina... the third - what?

Third Mach! "It does not exist, signorina!"

There are only two, Maha Naked and Maha-clad.

No, there is also Mach in the Shirt.

"What did you say, signorina?" That there is also Mach in the Shirt.

I'm surprised, Professor, that you do not know this.

Of course, I do not know this! It is not true!

Who told you, I'm sorry, such nonsense?

Nobody told me, I read something for a long time,

where they talked about this picture.

What was it, a book, a magazine, what exactly?

I do not remember. It was a hand-written sheet that I found in the library,

leafing through the book.

In the library of your palace?

Why do you want her to wear a shirt?

The reason is not your concern, I'm crying to you. - A! Pay me?

You think that you can buy conscience for contemptible money

such a great artist like me?

Yes, what kind of artist! "Be careful, marquis!" "You are a copyist!"

"You underestimate the copyist." This is not true.

You underestimated him, dear Signor Marquis!

If the copyist took place,

any ordinary mazila could copy his work!

"When will we finish this?" "When?"

I'm asking you! "And I tell you!"

Maestro, when are you going to finish? "Take off those clothes!"

"Signor Marquis says I have to pose." "I told him."

"Is not she beautiful?" I'll tear it up! Wait!

"It's very valuable, the Goya era!" "This one?" - Yes.

- Is it genuine? - Genuine!

It is felt. - What? "I do not know if he's wearing it or his shirt, but it's felt."

Dear marquis, why do you want to wear a shirt on Makhu Naked?

- If you told me to take it off... - The time has come to tell the truth.

I must inherit a huge amount of money.

- What? - From one very respected aunt.

If my aunt sees Makhu Naked in the house, she will forfeit my inheritance.

And if you draw a shirt...

No! No! Mach in the Shirt is blasphemy! And I'm not a blasphemer!

But Goya died!

He's dead, but I'm alive! I'm alive, okay?

- Here I copyist! - Yes!

I wish I could see this Signora Goyu!

Copy Mach, as I did!

Draw all know how, but it's hard to copy!

I wish I could see Signora Goyu. This Goyu!

They tell me... Goya!

Go away from here!

"This is a palace." "Shall we start searching now?"

"No, I have to talk to my uncle." Good. "I'll call you tomorrow."

The powers of heaven!

Maestro, do not anger me, do not try my patience,

Will you draw a shirt or not?

I did not subscribe to the shirt, did not subscribe, no!

- And I will not cry to you! - Really? You heard?

- Really? - Yes. "Then I will not leave here!"

The food is excellent and the signora... too.

"Signora has nothing to do with it!" "I know, but she's good!"

Are you again for yours? "Yes, the signora is good."

- Thank you for being abroad! - Otherwise?

"Otherwise..." - What?

Signora is good, ignorant!

"Signora is good!" "She's good, yes!"

Well, well, how good is the signora! "How beautiful!"

Good... but what do you have to do with it?

Do not respect the house of others!

You said that! "I'm a maestro!"

This is good for me, and you are a disciple, and for you there is nothing good! Clear?

Ah well! Ah well! He said he would not pay me!

I'll show you! I'll show you! Take a piece of paper and write!

"Wrote it?" No. What did you write? Nothing!

What do you write if I did not say anything to you?

Now we will bill for Mach. Write: Account.

- With a capital "C". - Yes.

No! I changed the plan.

This one is a real animal, but will I write with a capital "C"?

The big letter "C"! MORE!

- For this... "For" with a capital "D". - Of course.

Sometimes, while abroad, you can have fun.

So, what's going on?

This idiot refuses, he spoils everything.

The professor will believe everything, just find a picture.

"Without a shirt?" Of course not...

"Have you tried to insist?" I tried everything! I tried everything!

I thought he was a fool, but it's not! I did not manage to convince him.

Wait, I'll try.

- Paints? Brushes? Solvents? - Yes.

- Did you record the palette? - No. "Write her down."

How much does it leave?

150 million.

Few! Few! Few! Give 300 million!

Maestro, it's expensive!

And the fact that Spain is expensive, you do not take it into account?

> Dear maestro! - Who is it?

I'm sorry if I got your attention.

Those 150 million lire, take them!

- Here I am. I'm ready. - Sorry, "ready", but why?

To pose to you. My husband told me that you do not have a model for Mahi in the Shirt.

- I'll come up as a model? - Still would!

In that case, I can even stay. Signora ..

Yes... yes... let's clarify.

I already told your husband that I will not draw this from the principle.

Obviously, he did not understand you well. Needless to dress her in a shirt.

No, it's not superfluous! The shirt will go very well. True? - Yes.

And you shut up! "If you do not want to draw, I'll go get dressed."

No! Listen to me, signora, let's discuss.

- Let's discuss. - We will discuss!

You would not have painted a shirt for anything in the world.

Yes exactly. No way!

Even...

"Listen, maestro..." - What?

I understood! I understood! Signora learned these words well!

Yes! Yes! Indeed?

Signora, this changes the matter!

- Tobia! "Maestro, Tobiah!" - Tobia or Tobia - the same thing!

Palette, brushes and paint! It is necessary to finish the picture.

"But the picture is finished!" "There's not enough shirt!"

"But she'll be here!" "And who said that?"

You said, no way... "There's more than that!"

"Really, signora?" "Of course, maestro." And you go away!

Here. "Like this! Like this!"

This leg!

Handles of Goya...

Let's see... yes!

Like this!

How happy I am!

"Eve, what is said, is it said?" "As it is said, it is said."

"A word of honor?" "A word of honor."

You said yes! I'll copy you a shirt that never even

did not dream of the so-called Goya!

They tell me - Goya!

Do not move!

Very good! It was difficult, but finally...

"How did you convince him?" It was easy.

I promised him a love affair.

Well done! A good role you gave me this!

But you are my husband for fun. Is not it so?

Yes, but that I'm horny, this one will seriously think.

Do not worry, I had an idea how to get rid of it.

What do you mean? "I'll get him arrested."

And How? "I've prepared an excellent trap."

"Explain to me." - I appointed him a date in "Two castanets."

This place is frequented by Pablo, one hot torero.

I will provoke a fight between them and call the police.

TWO CASANETTES

(In Spanish) The first bull, whom I will kill, I will dedicate to this girl.

(In Spanish) Pablo, the first bull is already taken.

(In Spanish) Then the second.

Ole!

"Do you like it, maestro?" Highly.

I'm delighted with these local customs.

"Good evening, signora." Good evening.

Good evening. "We want to eat, drink and dance." - A minute.

Not here, at all in sight, do you have anything separate?

- What? - Something separate.

- (In Spanish) I do not understand. - I also.

First sit here, it excites... captures.

Follow me please. "Yes... yes!"

(In Spanish) What a miracle, this girl! Cancel orders,

tomorrow I will dedicate all the bulls to her.

Careful, she's with a man!

For me it does not matter, she looked at me.

Caballero waiter, listen... Do you have a room?

- What? - Room. - (In Spanish) I do not understand!

Room. I can not speak loudly, the signora will hear me.

- Room. - Aaaa... I understood, it's "riddled with".

What do you allow yourself? Go away, you scoundrel!

What manners, he sent me to the hospital!

He told you "hotel". In Spanish, it will be "spoiled."

True? True?

Oh, sorry! I would like to catch some kind of chronic illness,

to lie 10, 20 years with you in the hospital!

"Signora, may I introduce myself?" Pablo Segura. "The famous torero?"

"Maestro, did you hear?" No, I became thoughtful.

"This signor Pablo Segura." "Are you sure it's Segura?"

- Of course! - Rest assured...

that I do not care, nifiga not all the same!

What do you allow yourself? "A young man, we do not need a torero."

Come another day, but not on Friday, it brings me unhappiness.

I wanted to ask if you would like to dance this flamenco with me?

- With great pleasure! - No! Here you are mistaken!

The bullfighter needs an ox, but I do not agree to play the role of a bull.

Signora dances flamencu with me!

"You do not know how to dance flamenco!" "But I'm a copyist."

She dances, and I copy. I copy everything! Flamengu I dance!

Are we just made for each other when we can be alone?

At least now, but first you need to get rid of it.

"What have I done?" I am tired of you! "Wait, no!" No!

- (In Spanish) Muzhik, you're a dead man. - Let's reason.

"Protect yourself!" - Wait!

Pablo Segura does not argue... he's killing!

The power is - do not mind!

"Protect yourself!" Do not boil!

He pounced!

"I'm the only son!" You run the risk! "Protect yourself!"

So, as written in the protocol... "What's in the record?"

As it is written in the protocol... "I do not know what's there?"

You can not know this!

"You asked me." "I did not ask you, shut up, please."

- Then I do not quite understand? - Be silent, please, you do not understand?

- "We went in..." - Yes exactly.

"Some signora shouted that a fight broke out." - Exactly!

- "We found the famous matador..." - Exactly.

- "... In a fight with some kind of violent type." - Exactly. - No!

This, maybe you are a violent type. And I'm not a violent type!

I am the famous Italian copyist Scorceletti, remember this! Scorceletti!

And you, too, otherwise, what will you tell the descendants?

Hey! Hey! Hey! "Do not raise your voice!"

- It's you do not raise your voice! - We are not in the market square!

"We are in front of the commissar!" "I'm the commissar!"

That's it. "Shut up, please!"

"Sit down." - Sit down you.

- No you! - No you! - Please, and you too sit down!

You must speak to me! You must speak to me!

And who am I talking to? "You must speak to me!"

And with whom do I speak?

You say, but I'm listening! "Can I tell you what I want?"

- Speak! Speak! - About what? - Speak!

- How are you? - Good.

"Is everything all right at home?" Well, what are you talking about?

You told me to speak, but I obeyed...

Do not try my patience!

And I'm talking about this. "Do not make me say it again!"

I eat it!

What are you doing? "You're playing checkers!"

I want to know why you started a quarrel!

I did not plan any rubbish or rubbish! Clear?

He was going to stick to the signor, but you can not put up with me!

"Tell the accused!" It's not true, I just looked at it.

You heard? He confessed! The accused confessed, in the protocol it!

"No protocol." I demand that... Sit down!

"Watching is not a crime." "But he was looking at her, thinking about her!"

"To think is not a crime!" "But what did he think?"

How can I know this?

- I know! Can I say that? - Speak!

I will say? - Speak! "The commissar, he pictured her naked!"

Do you want to admit tragedy? Stay in peace!

- It's true? - No, this man is crazy!

- I'm crazy? - Yes! - I'm crazy!

While we were talking, do you know where he was looking? - No.

Stop it all! Look at me.

- Who is it? - My wife.

We talked about signorin, and he looked at your wife

- and imagined it naked! - What?

- What do you allow yourself? - It is not true!

- Prove it! - Of course!

- We will listen! - Yes indeed...

He can not prove he does not have an alibi!

You looked at the photo of my wife and thought to undress her!

Optimist! He pictured her naked!

It is not true! I do not know your wife!

Then what did you imagine?

"I imagined a bull, which I must kill tomorrow."

"How did you imagine the bull?" "Like an ordinary bull!"

Naked! You heard?

He imagined a bare bull! Add this to the record!

"But the bulls, they're naked!" There are still these, dressed.

"Where are they, these dressed?" "You..."

If you allow him to think about his wife, then you are a clad bull.

Now that you have sat down, you are a sitting ox. "Enough!"

Stop thinking about my wife, in any way, okay?

Of course, Signor Commissioner! I'm not familiar with your wife!

Darling, I'm leaving here... Oh, Pablo! Pablo Segura!

Do you know him? - Of course, everyone knows the famous matador Pablo Segura!

"So... are you acquainted?" "Signor Commissioner, I've never seen her!"

Clad! He used to see her naked! "Well, what does he say, Signor Commissar!"

I'm not at all interested in your wife, Signor Commissioner!

Do you want to say naked too?

Neither naked, nor dressed. She does not interest me!

What are you saying! Such ill-mannered!

I meant that I do not see you point-blank.

Do you want to say that she is a limb?

I'm not a mole, I have a beautiful body!

I even worked as a stripper! "Catherine!"

- This is speculation. - So you think!

I can immediately refute these speculations!

No, Caterina, what are you doing? Get dressed immediately!

You must not look at it, go! Arrest this man!

You can not arrest me, leave me, leave me alone!

End of the first series.

The second series.

Put it there, dear. You need to observe consistency and order.

- So, these and these, we looked them. - This one, too?

"Uncle, do not make a mess!" God forbid!

"Have you found anything?" "No, but I'll get it from under the ground, if necessary."

It is necessary in the interests of culture, naturally.

- And in yours too. And in yours too! - In my? Why?

You were lucky enough to own a house where Goya lived, worked,

created and suffered. Do not you want to find his masterpiece?

It would be interesting.

- What have I done? - Nothing terrible, nothing terrible.

Wait, what is this?

It's a miracle! Here is the proof that Mach in the Shirt exists!

- I told you! - Well, you must!

It's incredible! Mach in the Shirt is hidden among these very walls!

But where? Where? Listen, listen!

"Madrid, February 4, 1798,"

I received from Signor Francisco Jose Goya

20 escudos for making a door for a secret passage.

"A secret passage!" - Yes.

"A secret passage where Mach is kept in the Shirt!"

Mach is here! In a secret passage!

It's impossible, I've never seen a secret passage in the palace!

"Probably behind the panel, behind the shelf." - Impossible!

"Uncle, why do not you believe us?" These stories for the novel.

I read about hidden panels, mysterious doors,

cornices, hiding buttons, rotating bookcases.

- Buttons? - Buttons.

Bookcases? - The bookcase is here, but the button is missing.

This... what is it?

It. "Where?"

- This is a button! - I do not think so.

- Will you press? - No.

- Maybe she gets out... - Is it being pulled out?

Are you sure that it should be pulled out?

A secret passage! Shine on!

About this it is written here:

"20 escudos for making a secret door",

for which Mach in the Shirt!

"Mach in the Shirt!" "Here's the light."

- Mach! - There is no.

Here she is! Mach is here!

"The Third Mach exists!" You was right!

I want to see her better!

Yes! Mach in the Shirt I discovered!

I opened an unknown masterpiece Goya!

Maestro, your presence here is a complete surprise. It's incredible.

There is nothing incredible, dear!

I thought that I forgot the signora!

"Jose, is your master at home?" "Yes, I'll go get him."

Yes, and tell him that I came to sign the picture that I finished yesterday.

What picture? "Like what?" Mahu in the Shirt!

"Was Makha in the shirt?" Yes! In a shirt.

We came to sign the picture?

This is just an excuse! This is a banal excuse.

How do you want to become an artist? You do not understand anything!

I do not want my husband to realize that I'm here because of his wife.

It is delightful, excellent!

This is the most beautiful Goya I've ever seen!

"Signor Marquis!" Signor Marquis! What's the matter? Excuse me, Professor.

You see, the characteristic strokes, the properties of light!

This is Goya's hand! You'll recognize her from a thousand!

He is back? "He wants to sign a picture." "So he will ruin me!"

"Raoul, let's kill him." Shut up! "Never listen to me."

We must balance on the verge of the Law, and not transgress it!

"Otherwise we will be thrown on the neck of a boa constrictor." - The hammer? - A striker.

Jose, the threat of death. This is not a joke!

What happened? "It happened that your plan failed."

Scorchetti is free, he's here!

"So, it's all to no avail!" Under the tail? I do not think so.

We can arrange so that a jealous husband with a gun comes.

"What do you say about this?" Yes!

"We'll scare him, and he'll disappear forever." "I'll take care of this."

Maestro, you are too imprudent! Forget about it, there are many women here.

A lot of women? Yes, but they do not agree with everything!

"Women do not agree?" "You're foolish, learn Italian!"

"They are" sounds somehow vague.

And vice versa, "they all agree" sounds reassuring!

So she agrees?

Agree? If she did not agree, would I be here?

But how are you going to become an artist? I still do not understand!

I should have seen her this night! With her green eyes, bright red hair,

- in a blue dress and yellow shoes. - So, how did it end? "We'll take it."

Maestro, sorry for what happened this night!

I was afraid that you will leave! "Were you afraid that I would leave?"

Silly! Silly!

Why did not you follow me.

If you did, you would have noticed that I was a single person!

Signora, I always achieve my goal. Even naked, but I reach it!

Maestro, my husband suspects something. It is dangerous to be here.

He, if furious, sees only the red color!

Signora wanted to say: "If he sees a red color, gets angry and... oh, woe to us!"

Do not joke, please!

We'll meet better not here, you know "The House of the Chickens"?

I do not keep the oculochki at home,

I throw them in the street!

Well, no, "chicken" in Spain means a girl! True?

In that case, I stay in Spain and pick up all the "okurochki" on the road!

Tell me, signora, so what is this "house for ocurochki"?

"House of chickens" - a nightclub. We will be safe there.

"I'm going to change my clothes and meet you there." "I'll change right now!"

- I need to change. - And what should I do? - Wait at the hotel.

I have to go! Well, how are you going to become an artist?

A separate cabinet? Settle down, signor. "Is this a safe place?"

The signora is very jealous husband!

Of course, we have everything equipped. Naturally, this is a matter of price.

Pays any price. Clear?

Of course! You will have a separate sensitive cabinet.

Yes Yes!

Finally in the evening after hard work we will have fun! - What?

"We're having fun tonight." "Who?"

- We. - We? I'm having fun!

"This is my date with the signora!" Yes, but there are many girls here!

Young man, calm down! Calm down! Do you understand?

Casanova arrived! Casanova arrived! Well, it's nice to meet you!

"Why did I come?" "To pay for a taxi."

- TV! - So you can look after the entrance.

- Immediately see if the husband comes. - Yes!

And where should I run? "We do not need to run anywhere, everything is foreseen for us."

It is enough to sit down on this sofa

and click on the button, here.

- It is done! - Very original, I like it. - Thank you, thank you.

The danger is past, you can press the button again, and everything will return to the place.

"Sit down, signor." "What a good tavern!"

Is this silver? "I'm sorry, signor."

"I'll serve a cold dinner after the signora comes?" - Yes.

However, it is better to warm it up. Dinner is cold, but I like hot.

Cold in my stomach is bad for me. "Yes, Signor." Wine, port?

Nesi. "So that means port?"

Carry on! "Should I bring the port?"

Who should send, send,

but he who carries it carries it! Carry! Carry! Carry!

Bear and port too. "Very well, signor."

Excuse me, Signor, dark-haired, Italian is waiting for me.

Ah, I understand, signora, he's in that office, I beg you.

Sit down, signora.

Beautiful signora. Finally, I'm all burned!

"It's true, it's a little hot in here." No... Ah!

I mean, I'm burning with desire.

"What impatient, I just came!" That's it!

We are here for our love affair... so let's take risks!

Can?

- Kiss Me. - No, maestro!

Come on, come on. Forward!

Who is it? What did you bring?

Have you brought port? Why did you bring this?

"Shall I serve a cold dinner, signor?" Who allowed you to enter?

- I asked permission. - You have to wait for you to be told: Go ahead!

"You said that." I said "forward" to the signor.

"But the signora has already entered." What do you allow yourself?

I can say "forward" and "back" Anyone I want! Clear?

Go away from here! Go out the door!

Go through the door! Fool!

Excuse me, signora, although he is long, but so "dumb"!

Darling, at last you are in my arms, my love!

My darling, my soul!

- Ah! - What? - Oh my God! My husband!

Husband! Yes, it really is him!

Maestro, I'm embarrassed, this is the first time...

Poor thing! You are depressed! Would you like something to drink? So you cheer up!

Now I'll cheer you up! "Thank you, Maestro."

- He came! He will kill us! - Do not be afraid!

And who is this?

Here he is! "I found you, traitor!"

What do you allow yourself? "I'm sorry, I thought that this was my wife."

Thank you, he was just looking for us!

Why did you change so much? Give it back, as it was. You were so cute...

- Quiet! Here's my husband! - Then you are not you!

And where did it go? "Into the wall."

The one that was here, where did it go? Let's not joke!

What are you doing? Are you muzzling my mouth?

"Who breaks in like this!" You are a dork! I apologize.

"It was a mistake, forgive me." "I forgive you, go away!"

There was an exchange.

Dear Signora, I will deal with this exchange!

Signora, you are a limb! That, first, was sweet, fragrant!

You do not act like a cavalier!

I'm not a cavalier, not a commandant and not even a petty officer!

"Rise up and go!" - I can not!

Do not want? Then I'll call the director and make a scandal!

Because here they are engaged in fraud!

- Fraud of women! Get up! - I beg of you! - Dont touch me!

- Director! - No!

"Maestro, come here." You are back!

- I was here... - I opened you, traitor!

- Excuse me. - Who you are? What do you need?

There's some kind of misunderstanding here. Wait! You were in another room!

I? No! "However, I saw you."

Ah, I get it! You saw my sister.

- Similarly, dressed? - We have the same taste, we are twins.

"And you both date in separate offices?" What do you mean?

- Nothing... well, family! - Leave your opinion to yourself!

"The cup of patience is overflowing!" Go out the door, come out! - Excuse me.

The Dodger! Annoying type! Can you leave us alone?

Why did not you come here when your sister came here?

- It's been me all the time. - And who was there?

- The wife of the one who came out. - Ah, got it! The wife of this cuckold! - Yes!

He is coming back!

- Mom! - Fast!

What are the tricks?

"You're a change girl!" You have an obsession!

I thought that my wife...

I already told you that your wife is not here!

- I do not understand! I got a headache! - It is natural...

- It is obvious! - Wait! I saw him in another room!

You saw my twin brother.

- I have a surprise for you... - Ah!

Signora, this is not your husband!

"She's fainted." - Who is it?

"A bore who asked you to poke your nose everywhere!" "Go away!"

Excuse me! Come in!

Scorceletti shouted there, what's going on?

Here, this damned spinning wall and a jealous husband!

What other wall? What husband?

Eve! Signora Eve! Signora Eve!

Mind is still here! Again I took up the old!

You again took up the old!

Come on, come on! She fainted!

Minds also faint? In what world we live!

Come on, babe! Come on, babe!

Come on, wake up! Wake up! Come on!

Come out, here comes Signora Eve!

Then my husband! Let me stay here!

Your husband left. Bring Eve back here!

"Not through the door, open the wall!" What?

"Open the wall!" "I'm not a mason!" Are we joking?

Do not force me to use violence, otherwise I'll call a zhivodyora.

I came here to stay with Signora Eva, you see, we love each other!

Ahhh, you're here!

- My husband! - I will kill you!

I'll kill him! "Give me the gun!"

Let me go! Let me go! "They do not joke with their weapons!"

"Do not be afraid, girls, I'm not looking!" "What do you allow yourself, signor?"

Can I change my clothes? "No, these are for dancing!"

- Then it? - This is also not!

Tell Signor Toshenet that I really need it, because I'm a miserable beggar!

Back! I am Signor Alonso and I must wash the dishonor with blood!

Wait! Wait!

Disgrace washed away! "You killed him?" Yes.

Honor of the Alonso family is saved! Signori, I am at your disposal.

Poor maestro, it's our fault.

"Our fault!" It was an unforeseen, but fortunate circumstance. Come on.

Calm down, signori! I ask you to! Let's go around the rooms.

Professor Montiel opened an unknown masterpiece Goya.

They sold your painting for 200 million and left. - No!

- This is true! - 200 million for my painting?

"Read it." - It's true!

"Mach in the Shirt" purchased for 200 million American billionaire.

Gloria Harrison will present the masterpiece to friends

at a reception in his Madrid villa.

Excellent! Excellent! These mahas bring in income!

I did not think so much! 200 million! Here you are!

"I have an idea... and do not tell me." I do not speak!

I use "and do not tell me" just like that, it's a parasite word. We go to the Prado.

Ladies and gentlemen, I ask for some silence.

Mrs. Harrison has to tell you something.

Dear friends!

Finally you can admire

my new acquisition, the famous Machia in Goya's Shirt!

In this direction.

Dear marquis, you made me happy by selling this amazing picture.

This is not my merit, but Professor Francisco Montiel.

This is not my merit, but only Goya!

"Goya!" "If I'm not mistaken."

He begins to doubt! We take the check and leave. Distract him.

Professor, I want to teach you a new dance.

"Signora, did not the notary have to come?" "He's waiting for us in the office."

Money is the very last thing, it is important to sign documents.

"She reminds one of the Grace of Botticelli." - Something I do not remember.

"Professor, will you dance?" "I learned very well."

Like this?

Senhorita, I'm happy to meet you again, do you remember me?

Naturally. But I did not expect to see you this evening.

I've been looking for you all over Madrid, but this time you will not leave me.

Professor, I represent you my dear friend.

Pablo Segura, the matador!

"Would you like to dance with me?" No, this one is for the professor.

Forgive me, I could not speak there.

Pablo, you are very nice to me, But, unfortunately, this is not the time.

Why not time? You introduced me as a friend, but I want to be more than a friend!

I love you! "I can not leave the professor now."

Now I can not explain to you. - No! From now on, you will continue to be with me!

Stop!

"It must be here." Look at the number. Yes.

Go away from here with this trolley! Service entrance from the rear.

I'm sorry, Monsignor. We are not helpers of a sausage or milkman.

"We delivered paintings to the signora." Pictures? Yes.

"Is that the signora who bought Makha in the Shirt?" - Yes.

We delivered the entire warehouse stock...

Delivered the stock and dried cod! Shut up!

I delivered the dried cod to the Signor... Here you see?

I delivered Mach to the Cowards, Mahu in the Bra, Mach in the Bikini,

- and other "little ones" are smaller. - Paintings with Machia!

Yes! "Siniora will be pleased!"

Signora? And me too! Signora pays 200 million for each of these paintings!

And I have 6! 6 by 8, it turns out 48! 480 million lire!

No! No! No! Maestro, no, can I say something?

Yes, yes, and do not tell me, do not tell me.

I have to say. "Yes, and do not tell me!" Speak!

"A billion and two hundred million!" Clear? You said 480 million!

480 million lire of the deposit!

As if the signor did not have to sell his house!

Let's not talk about it!

No, it must be said, it's obvious! I'm sorry, Monsignor, he's an idiot.

"I'm going to tell the signora." "Oh, no!" No, no! So it does not work out a surprise!

- We will enter... - Put Mach in a row...

Signora will come, she will see a "swing", what a surprise! Help me.

I'm sorry to part with such a masterpiece for the sake of money.

Despicable money! But this is life, madam!

You.

"If you want, sign the check..." "Just a minute, sorry." First act.

"I'll sign the document." "I must read it."

I trust. "It would be wrong."

So...

Slow down! Slow down! I do not understand why hurry!

Dear signor, I must deal with other matters.

- You feel bad? - No! No no!

I had a hallucination.

No! - Is there something wrong with what I wrote?

Everything is fine, but I feel bad. I must be away for a little while.

"We can not stop reading, Signor Marquis!" Continue later.

Sorry, I'll be right back.

I'll be back! I'll go for a minute... this is some kind of attraction!

The marquis is strange!

- You saw him? - Yes, he's there!

But he is not dead! Why? Dear maestro!

- Hi! - What are you doing here? - And you?

Why did you come? "You sold my Mach for $ 200 million",

and I said to myself: "These Machischi bring income!"

However, let's talk now about you... how is the signora doing?

And do not tell me, and do not tell me! How's it going? And do not tell me!

And do not tell me. How's it going?

I can tell? "It's such a saying, Marquis."

"She's doing well, and she's here." Really? And do not tell me.

Would you like to say hello to her?

Well, it would be nice! And you feel sorry for? - No.

I'll put the pictures in the picture to make the billionaire surprise, and I'll be back.

"Jose, hold the maestro to the Signora!" Now!

Idiot, this is just an excuse. Make it disappear.

"If you like, I'm kicking him right now." "There are people here."

Do it so that it does not exist.

"Did not have"? Did not have! Got it! At last!

Jose, spend it. Too late!

"Have you seen the niece of the Marquis?" "No, Professor."

Stop! What is this daub?

Well, what daub! This Maha was written by the same author as Mach in the Shirt.

Do not insult Goya!

"What Goya!" Mach in the Shirt was written by Scorceletti. - By whom?

Scorceletti, the great Italian copyist.

"It can not be!" - But it is so!

It was written by the order of the Marquise di Castelmoscardo.

Hands off!

Marquis di Castelmoscardo! I got it!

Allow! "I'm sorry, Professor!"

I was deceived by one adventurer,

who pretended to be in love with me!

I confused an ordinary copy with the great Goya! What will they say about me now?

Well, stop!

"There's only one way out for me." What?

You will learn!

Come on!

Heavy. Now that I've brought a rope and a stone, what will we do with it?

Let's play one interesting game.

Maybe first we go to the signora, and then we'll play?

"No, better right now." - Yes.

"There's a well behind." Well? Hell!

"Now I'll hang the stone around your neck and throw you inside." - True?

It's a game? You'll hang me a stone around your neck and throw me inside!

That's screaming! Great idea!

It is he?

The scoundrel! Come here, I'll throw you into the well!

"I'm sorry, a misunderstanding." Will we sign it? - Wait!

We have not finished reading yet. No? "We must start again."

- In your presence... - "In my presence..."

Do you really want to throw me in the well? I've never been in a well!

This well is foreign, and I'm used to our, Italian!

Help! Hey, up there!

Call firefighters, I'm drowning! I'm in the well, it stinks!

"Read, approved and signed."

"I'll sign the act, and the signora will sign the check." "No, first signora."

- Thank you. - A minute.

Phone calls!

- Hello? This is you, the marquis. - Me? Hello?

Hello, Raoul?

I arranged everything. Threw it into the well! Are you happy?

Still as it is happy! Excellent! Well done!

Good.

Wait... He hung up.

I have to go away for a little while. But I'll take the check...

No, first you must sign 4 copies and 4 additions.

Completely confused!

- Who is confused? - We, all these checks, additions...

"If you want a check, you must sign." "All right, I'll be right back."

"I'll sign it and get it." Good.

- Ah! - What are you doing here?

What are you doing here? I was here before you!

I was thrown into the well, and now they have also piled up on you!

I wanted to commit suicide!

Kill yourself! Nobody forbids this!

What are you doing? Help! You're crazy! You lost your mind!

Jose made a mistake, he threw in the well of Scorceletti.

"Is Scorchetti alive?" "Yes, but he's in the well!" We need to save him.

How will I do it alone? "I can not, they sign the check."

If Scorcheletti dies, we'll end up with a rope right here, and you, too!

Eve, this door to the garden, go to the well. Help me, save me!

- Yes?

- We are waiting for you! - Here I am. Signing?

"What is that thing?" "Good evening, Marquis!" "Another Mach!"

- What is it? "Another Mach Scorceletti." - Shut up!

"My teacher, Scorceletti!" Your teacher!

What should I do to faint? Yes, I will win time.

"Who is this, Scorceletti?" "Great maestro!"

"This Mach is not in a shirt, but in a swimsuit!" - Exactly!

"Who is this Scorchetti?" "Who?" Who is it?

Is it still bad for him?

You want to finish with yourself, but I'm not! I want to be saved!

Now I will become a millionaire by selling Mach!

- What? Did you draw Mach? - Yes.

I do not want to brag, it's me... I'm a painter!

Let me introduce myself? Scorchetti.

"With whom do I have the honor?" Who am I? I'm the king of idiots.

I would not put my hand in the fire! Help!

"Maestro, are you alive?" - Fortunately, you came! We are hardly alive!

With me here is a professor!

Professor Francisco? What is he doing there?

Nothing! I do not want to be saved by an adventurer!

And who do you want to be saved by? I'll knock you on the head!

What are you doing? "Quick, help me!"

At last they raise!

Are you laughing? Has you changed your mind to commit suicide? Are you ready to follow me upstairs?

Yes, as soon as we leave, I will order you to arrest.

You bastard! Eve saves us, but you want to convey?

"What kind of voices, echo?" "It's me, Scorceletti!"

Scorchetti? That scoundrel from the commissariat?

"I will not raise him again!" Stop!

- Stop! - For help!

You are crazy? Do you want to destroy me?

What did you do? "I told you that you can not trust this one!"

You have a bad eye!

Darling, I'm indifferent to him! Take me upstairs!

I would like to believe you, but swear that you love only me!

I swear it to you, but save this poor thing.

Well, then you will not see him again!

- No! - Shut up!

- Pull! - No!

- He's heavy! - There are two of them! "Two?"

Is this a mandatory stop?

Who else? "Professor, you know him." Quick, pull!

- Another suitor! - No!

We go at the peak! We will throw each other into the abyss! Help!

Does not move. If this is the heart, it is better not to touch it.

I will take care of it. Hello?

"This is Villa Harrison, please the police." - What are you doing?

Signora, this is about fraud, I called the police.

- What for? - Mach in the shirt is a fake.

- Fake? - Undoubtedly!

It's impossible! Such a gentleman! So serious!

He has the manners of my first husband, the sense of humor of the second

and the bearing of the third. "Three husbands?" And why not four?

"If my friends from Los Angeles find out about this!" - No!

"Do not move!" - I will do it!

Signora, even if I die, struck by lightning, I'll still say it!

"No one can condemn me when they find out the reason!" - And why?

But why? "I did not say that, signora, because..."

Because restraint - the main quality of a gentleman.

If you forget, I'll tell you everything.

"The first time I saw you in Deauville." "I've never been to Deauville.

"Maybe in Monte Carlo?" "Yes, in Monte Carlo, Monte Carlo!"

When I saw you, I immediately wanted to meet you, because I adore you.

"But you tried to cheat me." "Do not say that."

It was an innocent trick. I love everything beautiful.

"Gloria! May I call you Gloria?"

"Please." "Why ask me?"

If I were a poet, I would write poetry for you!

But I can not write and therefore I recreate the beauty...

and, as your beauty, I will recreate our lives together!

"Gloria, tell me something." "Raoul!"

"No, for God's sake!" "Come for me, or I'll throw myself into the well!"

No, what are you doing? There are too many of us here! Here and so crowded!

Well, I will do as you want! "Can I believe you?"

What is the matter, are there obstacles?

How can I love a professor with an idiotic face!

- This is it about you. - A copyist is like an asshole.

- It's about you. - Signor torero... Prrrr!

Honey, the joy of my heart, I love you.

This I did not expect from her.

Rebuke, a vicious scoundrel!

"Oh, women, you name is treachery!"

Well, go to the pigs! How can you laugh?

Here these two are below. They, poor thing, have a reason.

Better than not.

"Signora, the police are on the line." Police? Put me through to her.

- Gloria... - Yes, I called.

It was a mistake, excuse me.

Good.

(in English) Thank you very much, my dear. Raoul.

Wait, Professor, let me explain!

No! No explanation!

I must explain to the mistress of the villa that I painted the painting.

Goya! You are a vulgar copyist!

You yourself are a vulgar, useless professor!

"I am the greatest copyist in the world!" "Shut up, or I'll kill you!"

I do not care, my life is ruined!

A young man, but for me it is very important!

You are happy?

Madame, Madame...

Madame, it's about something very important, my expert opinion.

- I know, you were mistaken. - You know? - She knows.

"Do you know that Mach is not written in Shirts by Goya?" - Of course I know. - All!

I will pay you 200 million, even if this copy...

Scorceletti, here present.

This is absurd, 200 million for a copy of Scorceletti!

What do you care if she wants to give me 200 million?

Of course, I do with my money what I consider necessary. - Is it clear?

There is one small detail here. "And do not tell me." Tell me, Signora.

"I will not pay 200 million." "And do not tell me." Speak, signora.

Do you want me to pay 200 million to my husband?

Expensive!

- You... - Yes, I am married.

- Very good. - I had exactly such an idea.

Now, when everything is in order, when everything is settled, the holiday continues!

"Shall we go to the dance hall?" With pleasure. Expensive!

- Let's go and we, too? - Come on, dear.

Do you understand? It turns out that I worked in vain! Oh no! No!

And I? My honor, my reputation, my career!

Dear professor, and this is a reward for honesty? Did you see this?

The rascal found a crazy billionaire,

and that, another, stupid torero.

In this world only dishonesty brings profit!

To people like us there is only one thing, suicide!

That's right you said, rightly said! Suicide.

Have you decided? Will you end your life with me?

With whom? Are you completely stupid?

Great copyist, and commit suicide in this way? Do not be so joking!

You correctly said that in this world you need to be dishonest!

Ah well? Ah well? Do they want us to be dishonest? We will become them!

Professor,

with your authority and, I do not want to show off, with my skill,

we will be able to earn millions in bulk! But it's quiet, right?

True?

But at our age...! If only we were 20 years old...!

Oh, Professor, Professor, with millions we will always be 20 years old!

- Do you think? - 20 years! Of course!

Twenty years of imprisonment to the professor and copyist

for the forgery of ten Raphael paintings

20 years!

Translation: Mortishia Fenixclub, 2010.

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