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1
00:00:29,185 --> 00:00:34,255
♪ O city by the mighty dirty river ♪
2
00:00:35,092 --> 00:00:40,301
♪ City by the greasy rolling sea ♪
3
00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:43,809
♪ I crawl so small ♪
4
00:00:44,394 --> 00:00:48,605
♪ And it stands so tall ♪
5
00:00:49,191 --> 00:00:52,939
♪ And it all belongs ♪
6
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:56,439
♪ To me ♪
7
00:00:58,741 --> 00:01:01,113
♪ Welcome to Joe's apartment ♪
8
00:01:01,202 --> 00:01:03,953
♪ It's our apartment, too ♪
9
00:01:04,038 --> 00:01:06,410
♪ We've been around for ♪
♪ a hundred million years ♪
10
00:01:06,497 --> 00:01:08,955
♪ And we'll be here long after you ♪
11
00:01:11,629 --> 00:01:14,250
♪ Let's go to our place ♪
♪ It's a great big space ♪
12
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:17,009
♪ It's where I wanna be ♪
13
00:01:17,092 --> 00:01:19,879
♪ Where friends all ♪
♪ meet And life is sweet ♪
14
00:01:19,970 --> 00:01:22,297
♪ 'Cause everything's for free ♪
15
00:01:22,392 --> 00:01:25,143
♪ It's the joint, it's a gas ♪
16
00:01:25,227 --> 00:01:27,716
♪ It's a big fat boot in the ass ♪
17
00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:30,938
♪ Let's toast! Raise your glass ♪
18
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:37,143
♪ Here's to Joe! A man with class ♪
19
00:01:37,487 --> 00:01:41,402
♪ So! Hello from Joe's apartment ♪
20
00:01:41,490 --> 00:01:44,409
♪ You're gonna love the view ♪
21
00:01:44,660 --> 00:01:47,366
♪ It's a nest that beats the rest ♪
22
00:01:47,456 --> 00:01:50,325
♪ We're so glad that ♪
♪ you're our guest ♪
23
00:01:50,415 --> 00:01:53,869
♪ Come on in, we're all undressed ♪
24
00:01:54,129 --> 00:02:00,381
♪ Joe's apartment, we welcome you! ♪
25
00:02:02,138 --> 00:02:03,631
Nice singing!
26
00:02:05,223 --> 00:02:06,801
The movie's starting.
27
00:02:34,293 --> 00:02:37,459
Dear Mom, I made it to
New York safe and sound.
28
00:02:37,546 --> 00:02:39,289
Hands up, pinhead!
29
00:02:55,899 --> 00:02:58,187
Dear Mom, I made it to New York.
30
00:02:58,276 --> 00:03:00,019
Hands up, pinhead!
31
00:03:09,328 --> 00:03:10,371
Dear Mom...
32
00:03:10,454 --> 00:03:12,197
Hands up, pinhead!
33
00:03:12,414 --> 00:03:13,456
Please send money.
34
00:03:33,851 --> 00:03:37,056
Don 't worry, Mom, I'll pay you
back soon. I'm bound to get a job.
35
00:03:37,147 --> 00:03:39,140
I'm a college graduate.
36
00:03:41,568 --> 00:03:44,983
But first things first. I
got to get an apartment.
37
00:03:45,111 --> 00:03:47,402
I hope I can get
one really cheap.
38
00:03:47,615 --> 00:03:49,608
$1,500 a month?
39
00:03:50,326 --> 00:03:52,650
There's a hole in the ceiling.
40
00:03:53,037 --> 00:03:54,995
It's a private atrium.
41
00:03:58,752 --> 00:04:02,203
$1,100 a month
for 300 square feet.
42
00:04:02,464 --> 00:04:04,337
That's a sweet deal.
43
00:04:05,716 --> 00:04:06,830
No vacancy.
44
00:04:06,925 --> 00:04:08,170
$1,500 a month.
45
00:04:08,259 --> 00:04:10,171
Nothing for that price range.
46
00:04:11,137 --> 00:04:12,632
Try Nebraska.
47
00:04:31,826 --> 00:04:34,577
Oh, my God, mister.
Are you all right?
48
00:04:39,541 --> 00:04:43,917
Two days, seven hours,
twenty-three minutes and four seconds.
49
00:04:45,005 --> 00:04:47,376
That's how long
I've been lying here.
50
00:04:49,008 --> 00:04:50,501
Are you okay?
51
00:04:52,219 --> 00:04:55,173
Of course not. I'm an artist.
52
00:05:00,062 --> 00:05:03,644
I wanted to express how cold,
how pitiless this city really is.
53
00:05:03,732 --> 00:05:05,770
Nobody touched you for two days?
54
00:05:05,859 --> 00:05:07,567
Spitting doesn't count.
55
00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:11,568
You must be from out of town.
56
00:05:11,866 --> 00:05:12,980
Yeah.
57
00:05:13,991 --> 00:05:15,190
Iowa.
58
00:05:16,452 --> 00:05:18,859
-What's your name?
-Joe.
59
00:05:19,122 --> 00:05:20,948
Walter. Walter Shit.
60
00:05:21,915 --> 00:05:23,373
Walter Shit?
61
00:05:24,043 --> 00:05:25,085
Yeah.
62
00:05:26,129 --> 00:05:27,292
Yeah.
63
00:05:30,258 --> 00:05:32,085
Looking for a place?
64
00:05:32,343 --> 00:05:34,253
Something for $100 a month.
65
00:05:37,472 --> 00:05:42,348
Hey, junior here thinks he's going to
find his own rent-controlled apartment!
66
00:05:47,858 --> 00:05:49,731
Rent-controlled apartment?
67
00:05:49,818 --> 00:05:50,933
Yeah.
68
00:05:51,028 --> 00:05:54,896
A place where the rent's
been frozen since the 1950s.
69
00:05:55,324 --> 00:05:58,160
Those places are hard to find
because no one ever leaves them.
70
00:05:58,244 --> 00:06:01,578
Not unless the landlord
gives them a little help.
71
00:06:53,338 --> 00:06:55,378
I love the real estate business.
72
00:07:09,814 --> 00:07:11,605
They're tougher than they look.
73
00:07:11,691 --> 00:07:15,356
See? There's really no way to
get a rent-controlled apartment.
74
00:07:15,444 --> 00:07:16,606
No way at all?
75
00:07:16,694 --> 00:07:19,649
I mean, only if it's
your mom's apartment...
76
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,198
and she croaks.
77
00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:23,651
How you doing, Mrs. Grotowski?
78
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:29,659
Oh, my God!
79
00:07:32,711 --> 00:07:36,459
Joe, Mrs. Grotowski
doesn't have any family.
80
00:07:37,007 --> 00:07:39,877
You pose as her son,
take her apartment.
81
00:07:40,177 --> 00:07:41,292
What?
82
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:43,463
I couldn't!
83
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:47,341
Oh, my God!
84
00:07:47,683 --> 00:07:48,798
Joe!
85
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,511
It's your mother!
86
00:07:54,105 --> 00:07:56,432
And she's dead!
87
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:01,276
Thank you.
88
00:08:07,162 --> 00:08:08,740
My first place!
89
00:08:22,550 --> 00:08:23,714
Quiet!
90
00:08:23,802 --> 00:08:25,547
Got to hide! Got to hide!
91
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:28,555
-Never seen him around before.
-Where's the old lady?
92
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:31,476
-Luggage! I don't like it!
-Stay undercover.
93
00:08:31,561 --> 00:08:33,139
Right, another stupid human.
94
00:08:33,229 --> 00:08:35,186
-Shut up!
-Can it, both of you.
95
00:08:42,112 --> 00:08:43,394
Oh, no!
96
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:48,198
Yummy, yummy!
97
00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:57,913
Damn. Ralph's out
there. Poor sucker.
98
00:09:06,470 --> 00:09:10,467
This is the greasiest, ugliest
bug I've ever seen in my life.
99
00:09:17,646 --> 00:09:19,972
-Look at that.
-Our kind of guy.
100
00:09:20,066 --> 00:09:22,057
He likes good
living. That's for sure.
101
00:09:22,151 --> 00:09:24,475
-He's not so bad.
-He's got potential.
102
00:09:25,780 --> 00:09:28,899
Did you hear that?
"Greasy." Nice compliment.
103
00:09:29,283 --> 00:09:31,111
I thought you was
smushed for sure.
104
00:09:31,202 --> 00:09:32,531
Who's out there?
105
00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:34,909
Schlomo and Pauli, who else?
106
00:09:35,457 --> 00:09:39,075
-Schlomo, I quit drinking.
-Me, too, Pauli.
107
00:09:39,169 --> 00:09:43,083
Ever since I joined this
health club. It's a great lap pool.
108
00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,417
Diver down.
109
00:09:46,342 --> 00:09:47,967
We're gonna get drunk.
110
00:09:48,052 --> 00:09:51,753
Hold on. He's having a taste
of Old Hound Dog instead.
111
00:09:51,848 --> 00:09:53,673
I'll drink to that.
112
00:10:09,446 --> 00:10:13,279
I can't tell you how happy I am
to be finally out on my own, Mom.
113
00:10:13,452 --> 00:10:15,279
No, no thanks, Mom.
114
00:10:15,371 --> 00:10:18,574
I can find a job by myself.
Look how easy I got a place.
115
00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:21,161
Yes, Mom.
116
00:10:21,376 --> 00:10:24,461
No, Mom. Right, Mom. Good, Mom.
117
00:10:25,004 --> 00:10:27,543
Isn't his mom
supposed to be dead?
118
00:10:29,219 --> 00:10:30,591
Landlord!
119
00:10:39,478 --> 00:10:42,229
I hope everything's going
fine up in heaven, Mom.
120
00:10:42,314 --> 00:10:44,887
Pray to you later. Amen!
121
00:10:44,983 --> 00:10:47,271
Joe, who are you talking to?
122
00:10:52,405 --> 00:10:54,030
Who the hell are you?
123
00:10:54,826 --> 00:10:56,948
Joe Grotowski.
124
00:10:57,703 --> 00:10:59,861
Joe F. Grotowski.
125
00:11:00,748 --> 00:11:02,408
Vladimir Bianco.
126
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,708
My cousin, Jesus.
127
00:11:05,671 --> 00:11:07,628
Vlad and Jesus Bianco?
128
00:11:08,130 --> 00:11:09,791
You are related?
129
00:11:10,257 --> 00:11:12,547
Speaking of relations,
I knew your old lady...
130
00:11:12,636 --> 00:11:15,304
and she never talked
you up! Not once!
131
00:11:15,388 --> 00:11:18,139
-I've been away at college.
-ls that so?
132
00:11:18,224 --> 00:11:20,846
Well, $50 rent, college boy.
133
00:11:21,102 --> 00:11:23,260
-Cash!
-Now!
134
00:11:27,483 --> 00:11:29,558
Sorry about your moms, man.
135
00:11:29,652 --> 00:11:32,438
But maybe you won't
be missing her long.
136
00:11:33,698 --> 00:11:35,026
Amen.
137
00:11:45,125 --> 00:11:48,328
Dear Mom, thanks
for another loan.
138
00:11:48,962 --> 00:11:50,788
I haven 't found a job yet...
139
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,502
but I'm on the lookout
for something good.
140
00:12:36,676 --> 00:12:38,798
Thank you for calling 91 1.
141
00:12:38,887 --> 00:12:42,505
Your call is important to
us. Please stay on the line.
142
00:12:42,724 --> 00:12:46,555
Your local police precinct
will be with you shortly.
143
00:12:53,775 --> 00:12:55,899
Central Complaint
Department, please hold.
144
00:12:55,987 --> 00:12:58,110
I don't know. Please hold.
145
00:12:59,072 --> 00:13:01,279
I can't help you. Please hold.
146
00:13:01,366 --> 00:13:03,904
Like, who cares,
man? Please hold.
147
00:13:04,036 --> 00:13:07,818
Alligators in the subway.
Interesting, ma'am. Please hold.
148
00:13:09,374 --> 00:13:13,587
No, sir. Don't try to saw it
off yourself. Please hold.
149
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:21,592
-Central Complaint Department.
-I'm calling from 324 1/2 East 8th Street.
150
00:13:22,429 --> 00:13:25,962
No water, no heat, no power.
151
00:13:26,558 --> 00:13:29,131
Roof leaking, drug dealing.
152
00:13:29,228 --> 00:13:31,552
People falling out of windows?
153
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:36,398
Congratulations, sir. This is
the worst call I've had all day!
154
00:13:36,484 --> 00:13:37,564
Really?
155
00:13:42,950 --> 00:13:44,906
Coffee break!
156
00:13:46,744 --> 00:13:48,239
Please hold.
157
00:13:50,039 --> 00:13:51,237
Hello?
158
00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:06,591
Lily, what's up?
159
00:14:06,681 --> 00:14:08,509
Oh, Blank. Hey.
160
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:13,101
This garden of yours
is really coming along.
161
00:14:13,229 --> 00:14:16,597
-Quite a change from the old air shaft.
-Oh, yeah.
162
00:14:17,107 --> 00:14:20,025
It's such a relief
after all those calls.
163
00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:25,072
It ain't bad now.
164
00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:27,778
Wait till there's
a riot or a fire!
165
00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:30,161
Serious O.T.
166
00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:34,332
I wish we could do something
other than put people on hold.
167
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:38,415
What are you doing in this
dead-end city department anyway?
168
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:40,542
Child, go work for your dad.
169
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:43,086
The man's a U.S. senator.
170
00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:46,883
Wear a nice dress,
sit next to his podium.
171
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:50,387
You could get
into politics, easy.
172
00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:08,487
-Mr. Bianco.
-Check it out.
173
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,326
Please, Senator,
just call me Alberto.
174
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:14,033
Have you brought me
good news, Alberto?
175
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:18,037
My second to the last tenant
has just taken flight, Senator.
176
00:15:18,377 --> 00:15:20,535
We two saw her off personally.
177
00:15:20,629 --> 00:15:23,877
Wonderful. She'll love
the condo you bought her.
178
00:15:24,130 --> 00:15:26,752
Nothing is too
good for my tenants.
179
00:15:27,091 --> 00:15:28,801
And how about your last tenant?
180
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:31,258
We made his final arrangements.
181
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:34,798
And soon the
building will be yours.
182
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:38,969
The U.S. government will have
acquired the last property we need...
183
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,601
for the brand new...
184
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:43,808
Manhattan...
185
00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:46,610
maximum security...
186
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,487
federal penitentiary.
187
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:53,274
The biggest prison in the world.
188
00:15:55,662 --> 00:15:58,285
Whatever happened
to the Lower East Side?
189
00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:00,831
How did it decay so badly...
190
00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:04,372
that the only thing
that'll sprout in its soil...
191
00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:05,542
is a jail?
192
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,956
We can't take all
the credit for that.
193
00:16:08,049 --> 00:16:10,255
But we're glad we could help.
194
00:16:20,853 --> 00:16:22,894
Oh, look at those kids.
195
00:16:23,231 --> 00:16:25,687
They could get hurt,
playing in this empty lot.
196
00:16:25,774 --> 00:16:28,694
I used to get plenty
of cuts and scratches...
197
00:16:28,778 --> 00:16:31,270
but that's all there
is around here.
198
00:16:33,073 --> 00:16:34,403
Hi, guys.
199
00:16:34,909 --> 00:16:36,404
What are you making?
200
00:16:36,493 --> 00:16:37,989
A crack house.
201
00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:42,040
Oh, my God.
202
00:16:42,709 --> 00:16:44,084
This is awful.
203
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:47,502
This should be a public garden,
with safe places for kids to play...
204
00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:49,047
with flowers and trees.
205
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:52,583
Lily, this ain't no cute
little building atrium.
206
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,250
This is the nastiest
neighborhood in New York City.
207
00:16:56,096 --> 00:16:57,637
Come on, girl.
208
00:17:36,470 --> 00:17:38,758
-Conference.
-What's up, Ralph?
209
00:17:38,847 --> 00:17:43,177
This new guy, Joe. He don't wash,
clean, vacuum. He don't give a crap.
210
00:17:43,269 --> 00:17:46,019
He's the dirtiest
slob on the planet.
211
00:17:46,730 --> 00:17:48,769
I think I'm in love.
212
00:17:49,190 --> 00:17:51,100
-Me, too, Ralph.
-I vote we keep him.
213
00:17:51,193 --> 00:17:52,817
We got to break
him in, that's all.
214
00:17:56,197 --> 00:17:57,656
Oh, my gosh!
215
00:18:08,501 --> 00:18:11,705
Looks like the landlord
wants to change Joe's lease.
216
00:18:11,796 --> 00:18:13,505
They aren't doing no paint job.
217
00:18:15,759 --> 00:18:19,709
Let's not kid ourselves. If
Joe gets greased, we're next.
218
00:18:19,805 --> 00:18:23,802
I won't stand for it! Let's teach
them toe-heads some respect!
219
00:18:25,558 --> 00:18:27,469
Roaches to the rescue!
220
00:18:27,894 --> 00:18:30,433
I love the smell
of this old couch.
221
00:18:30,523 --> 00:18:32,729
-Double time! Double time!
-Hang on!
222
00:18:32,816 --> 00:18:35,390
Hurry! These goons
will bust Joe's skull!
223
00:18:35,736 --> 00:18:36,814
He knows it, too.
224
00:18:36,904 --> 00:18:39,110
-Feel him shaking?
-Spring is in the air.
225
00:18:39,198 --> 00:18:41,605
-Stay cool, Joe.
-Take it easy, Joe.
226
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:44,239
Don't worry, Joe.
We got your back.
227
00:18:44,329 --> 00:18:45,409
Who...
228
00:18:48,958 --> 00:18:50,915
Where is he?
229
00:19:08,935 --> 00:19:12,019
-Troops! Antennas up!
-Sir, yes, sir!
230
00:19:12,980 --> 00:19:14,607
Bombs away!
231
00:19:16,567 --> 00:19:18,442
Give me a kiss, asshole.
232
00:19:19,695 --> 00:19:21,356
God, they talk?
233
00:19:21,656 --> 00:19:24,906
That's right! I'm about
to kick your ass, too!
234
00:19:25,410 --> 00:19:27,070
Disgusting little...
235
00:19:27,328 --> 00:19:30,365
Your mama's cooking
sucks! I wouldn't even touch it.
236
00:19:38,589 --> 00:19:40,915
I think he got me! He got me!
237
00:19:41,050 --> 00:19:44,254
I'm heading up to that
big Dumpster in the sky.
238
00:19:44,804 --> 00:19:46,382
You missed!
239
00:19:56,689 --> 00:19:58,848
Over here, fruitcake.
240
00:20:01,070 --> 00:20:02,481
Let's go!
241
00:20:05,032 --> 00:20:07,108
It's a roach clip. Get it?
242
00:20:11,747 --> 00:20:13,705
Now you're in trouble!
243
00:20:15,418 --> 00:20:17,661
Ought to stomp
your freaking head!
244
00:20:23,633 --> 00:20:26,303
Slip on something
more comfortable.
245
00:20:28,347 --> 00:20:31,929
Hiya, Hansel and Gretel,
lay off our buddy Joe.
246
00:20:33,184 --> 00:20:36,220
-Okay. Just let us go, please!
-Are you listening?
247
00:20:36,311 --> 00:20:39,930
Because if you ain't, you'll get a
roach in every meal you'll ever have...
248
00:20:40,023 --> 00:20:42,063
for the rest of
your freaking life!
249
00:20:42,151 --> 00:20:43,976
-You got that?
-Yeah!
250
00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:45,778
We know where you live!
251
00:20:46,115 --> 00:20:48,320
We live where you live.
252
00:20:59,085 --> 00:21:00,795
-What a fall!
-Leaving so soon?
253
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,204
-The party's just started!
-See you.
254
00:21:03,298 --> 00:21:04,792
Hate to be you!
255
00:21:11,263 --> 00:21:13,421
-A spare!
-You was robbed!
256
00:21:14,642 --> 00:21:18,177
You was great, Ralphie.
What a couple of pansies.
257
00:21:18,271 --> 00:21:20,309
Joe, are you all right?
258
00:21:21,899 --> 00:21:23,015
Get back!
259
00:21:23,110 --> 00:21:24,602
-Joe.
-Buddy!
260
00:21:24,694 --> 00:21:28,560
-That ain't no way to treat your friends.
-My friends?
261
00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:33,401
Sure! We like the way you run things
here, so we wanted to keep you around.
262
00:21:35,662 --> 00:21:37,157
You can talk.
263
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,868
Talk? We can sing!
264
00:21:42,252 --> 00:21:43,995
♪ Garbage ♪
265
00:21:44,087 --> 00:21:46,794
♪ Garbage ♪
266
00:21:46,925 --> 00:21:50,090
♪ Garbage ♪
267
00:21:50,678 --> 00:21:51,757
♪ Sorry. ♪
268
00:21:52,305 --> 00:21:54,974
♪ The garbage in the moonlight ♪
269
00:21:55,057 --> 00:21:58,177
♪ Gives off a lovely smell ♪
270
00:21:58,309 --> 00:22:00,847
♪ Sipping sewage with my baby ♪
271
00:22:00,938 --> 00:22:03,511
♪ In our little roach motel ♪
272
00:22:03,607 --> 00:22:07,306
♪ Please, don 't tell ♪
273
00:22:19,163 --> 00:22:23,742
♪ On an ocean trip on a garbage ♪
♪ ship With a cockroach I adore ♪
274
00:22:23,835 --> 00:22:28,711
♪ We 'll take a taste of the medical ♪
♪ waste That washes up on shore ♪
275
00:22:28,799 --> 00:22:31,254
♪ Oh, sweetheart, say you love me ♪
276
00:22:31,344 --> 00:22:34,093
♪ And crawl underneath my rug ♪
277
00:22:34,179 --> 00:22:37,796
♪ You're one in a ♪
♪ thousand billion, baby ♪
278
00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:42,516
♪ Oh, won 't you be my bug? ♪
279
00:22:42,645 --> 00:22:45,515
♪ Oh, won 't you be my bug? ♪
280
00:22:45,606 --> 00:22:50,352
♪ Please, be my bug ♪
281
00:23:09,046 --> 00:23:10,955
God, what a nightmare.
282
00:23:32,486 --> 00:23:34,563
I'm up. I'm up already.
283
00:23:55,216 --> 00:23:58,217
-What's that?
-I'm trying to get some shuteye here.
284
00:23:58,678 --> 00:24:00,884
Morning. My name's Ralph Roach.
285
00:24:00,973 --> 00:24:02,764
This is my associate,
Rodney Roach.
286
00:24:02,850 --> 00:24:04,472
What's happening, Joe?
287
00:24:05,727 --> 00:24:07,766
Another hot and muggy, Joe?
288
00:24:07,894 --> 00:24:11,062
-What are you doing on my breakfast?
-Little nosh, that's all.
289
00:24:11,148 --> 00:24:13,639
-How's it hanging today?
-Word up.
290
00:24:14,485 --> 00:24:16,524
How do you like the Knicks?
291
00:24:16,695 --> 00:24:18,154
How many of you are there?
292
00:24:18,239 --> 00:24:22,285
This apartment? Not a lot.
About 20,000, 30,000, 40,000.
293
00:24:22,410 --> 00:24:24,284
Mostly family, you know.
294
00:24:24,370 --> 00:24:25,996
-And you can talk?
-Sure.
295
00:24:26,079 --> 00:24:28,866
We just don't talk much.
Not to people, anyhow.
296
00:24:28,957 --> 00:24:32,208
No point. People smush
first, and ask questions later.
297
00:24:32,294 --> 00:24:34,702
But not you, brother.
You're different.
298
00:24:35,046 --> 00:24:36,506
Oh, yeah?
299
00:24:45,097 --> 00:24:46,510
Joe, Joe!
300
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,767
Let's be friends. We just
saved your life, remember?
301
00:24:49,853 --> 00:24:51,099
Besides, Joe...
302
00:24:51,189 --> 00:24:54,889
if those two friends of yours come
back, we might come in useful.
303
00:24:54,984 --> 00:24:58,317
So, how about a
live-and-let-live philosophy here?
304
00:24:59,404 --> 00:25:01,528
"Slobs of a feather
swarm together."
305
00:25:01,615 --> 00:25:03,441
-Makes sense to me.
-That's fair.
306
00:25:03,533 --> 00:25:05,325
-What's yours is ours.
-Stereo rights?
307
00:25:05,410 --> 00:25:07,283
Just warn us before you flush.
308
00:25:07,370 --> 00:25:09,114
I got to get out of here.
309
00:25:11,374 --> 00:25:14,123
-Where are you going?
-None of your business.
310
00:25:14,209 --> 00:25:17,127
-Mind if we hang out with you?
-Yes!
311
00:25:17,964 --> 00:25:19,756
-Come on!
-Don't be that way, Joey!
312
00:25:19,842 --> 00:25:20,955
Can't we? Please?
313
00:25:21,050 --> 00:25:23,506
-You won't even notice us.
-We'll be good.
314
00:25:23,595 --> 00:25:24,792
What's up his butt?
315
00:25:24,887 --> 00:25:29,216
We ought to keep an eye on
him, in case he needs our help.
316
00:25:29,309 --> 00:25:32,061
-Right as usual, Ralph.
-Excellent idea, Ralph.
317
00:25:59,253 --> 00:26:00,534
Ritardo's!
318
00:26:01,964 --> 00:26:04,374
Come on in. The cheese is fine.
319
00:26:05,385 --> 00:26:06,880
You're fired!
320
00:26:07,596 --> 00:26:10,004
Here are your enlargements, sir.
321
00:26:13,352 --> 00:26:14,763
You're fired!
322
00:26:15,561 --> 00:26:16,641
You're fired!
323
00:26:18,524 --> 00:26:20,396
-You're fired!
-You're fired!
324
00:26:24,613 --> 00:26:27,233
Poor Joe. Having
trouble keeping a job.
325
00:26:27,366 --> 00:26:28,990
We're doing our best to help.
326
00:26:29,076 --> 00:26:31,114
Guess we got to keep on trying.
327
00:26:32,663 --> 00:26:36,161
-Love this guy! Breakfast?
-Don't mind if I do.
328
00:26:40,170 --> 00:26:43,335
-Don't panic or nothing.
-What do you mean?
329
00:26:43,422 --> 00:26:45,414
Well, it appears to me...
330
00:26:45,506 --> 00:26:49,457
that one of our most dreaded
natural enemies somehow got in!
331
00:26:50,054 --> 00:26:51,133
Oh, my God!
332
00:26:51,223 --> 00:26:53,630
Joe, wake up! A cat!
333
00:26:57,103 --> 00:26:58,977
Don't let it get me!
334
00:27:04,986 --> 00:27:06,978
How's everybody doing tonight?
335
00:27:09,406 --> 00:27:11,399
Thank you! Good-looking crowd.
336
00:27:11,910 --> 00:27:13,866
Anybody here from New Jersey?
337
00:27:14,369 --> 00:27:15,745
What exit?
338
00:27:16,246 --> 00:27:17,492
He's dying out there.
339
00:27:17,582 --> 00:27:20,368
Some pretty cool cats
from there: Sinatra, Bruce.
340
00:27:20,459 --> 00:27:22,665
Say, nice set of whiskers, sir.
341
00:27:23,588 --> 00:27:25,745
Poor Ralphie. I can't look!
342
00:27:29,508 --> 00:27:31,668
It's Cousin Tiny from Texas!
343
00:27:31,762 --> 00:27:34,467
Howdy, cousins!
Just buzzing through!
344
00:27:34,557 --> 00:27:37,473
Let's have ourselves
a little rodeo!
345
00:27:47,361 --> 00:27:49,318
♪ It's chicken-pickin ♪
♪ ', finger-lickin ' good ♪
346
00:27:49,405 --> 00:27:51,147
♪ I got my honey in a ♪
♪ sunny neighborhood ♪
347
00:27:51,238 --> 00:27:53,197
♪ It's a wrassling, ♪
♪ hassling, dazzling show ♪
348
00:27:53,284 --> 00:27:56,819
♪ Grab a lady and do-si-do ♪
♪ A little bitty kitty-cat rodeo ♪
349
00:28:13,051 --> 00:28:14,758
♪ Scrape it, Clyde! ♪
350
00:28:15,846 --> 00:28:18,551
♪ Now you ought to bring ♪
♪ your daughter 'cause it's hotter ♪
351
00:28:18,641 --> 00:28:21,097
♪ When he's shaking and ♪
♪ a-baking and breaking it in ♪
352
00:28:21,184 --> 00:28:23,557
♪ He's a-gripping, he's a-slipping ♪
353
00:28:24,021 --> 00:28:27,355
♪ Come on, mister, bring your ♪
♪ sister Bring her to the rodeo ♪
354
00:28:29,110 --> 00:28:30,390
Go, Joe!
355
00:28:30,487 --> 00:28:32,480
-Go, Joe!
-Attaboy, Joe!
356
00:28:33,740 --> 00:28:37,655
-Look at those claws digging into his face!
-That's got to hurt!
357
00:28:40,830 --> 00:28:42,905
Good arm, Joe! Good arm!
358
00:28:48,169 --> 00:28:50,209
You saved my life!
359
00:28:50,588 --> 00:28:54,539
No human being has ever
saved the life of a cockroach.
360
00:28:56,428 --> 00:29:00,341
This is a breakthrough
in "interspecio" diplomacy!
361
00:29:01,015 --> 00:29:04,218
Yeah? Well, stop following
me to work already!
362
00:29:04,311 --> 00:29:06,719
-For God's sake!
-You got it, Joe.
363
00:29:06,814 --> 00:29:08,723
-Forget about it.
-Don't worry.
364
00:29:08,816 --> 00:29:10,773
We don't follow
you to work no more.
365
00:29:10,858 --> 00:29:13,266
Yeah, right. I've
heard that before.
366
00:29:14,529 --> 00:29:17,864
Give me a "J"! Give
me an "O"! An "E"!
367
00:29:17,950 --> 00:29:19,989
-What's that spell?
-Joe!
368
00:29:20,244 --> 00:29:22,449
-What's that spell?
-Joe!
369
00:29:23,079 --> 00:29:27,327
Dear Mom, the job situation
has been a little tricky.
370
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:31,079
But I know I'm going
to land something soon.
371
00:29:36,969 --> 00:29:38,510
Congratulate me.
372
00:29:38,595 --> 00:29:41,215
This is the first of
my works to use paint!
373
00:29:42,056 --> 00:29:44,842
I call this piece
lnstant Minority.
374
00:29:45,558 --> 00:29:47,184
I did the whole block.
375
00:29:47,770 --> 00:29:50,522
But people are black
or white or brown.
376
00:29:50,606 --> 00:29:52,265
Nobody's purple!
377
00:29:54,401 --> 00:29:55,861
Periwinkle!
378
00:29:56,029 --> 00:29:58,982
You're now the world's
smallest minority.
379
00:29:59,073 --> 00:30:01,825
How am I supposed to
get a job looking like this?
380
00:30:01,909 --> 00:30:03,701
-You know how to play drums?
-No.
381
00:30:03,787 --> 00:30:05,448
Perfect! You want a job?
382
00:30:09,332 --> 00:30:14,244
I'm doing a musical performance. You
can sit in for my drummer. He's dead.
383
00:30:14,379 --> 00:30:15,791
Well, sure.
384
00:30:15,881 --> 00:30:17,624
What? He's dead?
385
00:30:17,716 --> 00:30:19,543
Actually, it's a
very funny story.
386
00:30:19,635 --> 00:30:23,383
There's a crack dealer in our
building and my drummer called him...
387
00:30:25,182 --> 00:30:29,724
Slit his throat so badly that his own
mom couldn't identify him at the morgue.
388
00:30:30,646 --> 00:30:32,222
I'll miss that guy.
389
00:30:32,313 --> 00:30:33,856
Is it a deal?
390
00:30:35,232 --> 00:30:38,021
Excellent. Here.
You can put these up.
391
00:30:39,528 --> 00:30:42,447
That's a cool name for a band.
392
00:30:57,422 --> 00:30:58,585
Shit.
393
00:31:02,260 --> 00:31:03,719
-Hi.
-Hi.
394
00:31:04,094 --> 00:31:05,554
It's a band.
395
00:31:05,889 --> 00:31:07,169
What is?
396
00:31:08,182 --> 00:31:09,297
This.
397
00:31:11,228 --> 00:31:12,686
That's nice.
398
00:31:14,521 --> 00:31:16,514
I'm the drummer.
399
00:31:16,814 --> 00:31:18,310
We kick ass.
400
00:31:18,567 --> 00:31:20,276
I guess you must.
401
00:31:22,821 --> 00:31:24,613
What are those for?
402
00:31:25,074 --> 00:31:27,565
It's a community garden.
403
00:31:27,785 --> 00:31:32,163
We'll plant flowers and have a playground
for kids, vegetables for families.
404
00:31:33,417 --> 00:31:34,662
Cool.
405
00:31:34,752 --> 00:31:38,997
Yeah, but the lot is totally
bare of soil. We'll need fertilizer.
406
00:31:39,422 --> 00:31:41,664
-Fertilizer?
-Yeah, a lot of it.
407
00:31:41,757 --> 00:31:44,461
And then I saw
your sign. I thought...
408
00:31:44,551 --> 00:31:46,840
that is exactly what we need.
409
00:31:49,764 --> 00:31:51,971
Well, maybe I can help out.
410
00:31:52,767 --> 00:31:54,676
Wonderful. I'm Lily.
411
00:31:56,103 --> 00:31:57,302
I'm Joe.
412
00:32:15,248 --> 00:32:19,496
Dear Lily, it was great to meet
you. I'm into gardening, too.
413
00:32:19,670 --> 00:32:23,619
I can plant trees, weed
flowers, dig bulbs...
414
00:32:23,715 --> 00:32:27,083
Boobs, Joe, not bulbs!
Tell her you dig her boobs!
415
00:32:27,176 --> 00:32:29,170
Dames like compliments!
416
00:32:30,973 --> 00:32:35,550
Nothing like the sight of a woman with a
sack of grubs hanging off her abdomen.
417
00:32:35,643 --> 00:32:38,598
Can't you see I'm trying
to have some privacy?
418
00:32:39,730 --> 00:32:43,230
Hey, Joe, what's this idea you
people keep kicking about "privacy"?
419
00:32:43,317 --> 00:32:45,890
Explain it to us.
We don't get it.
420
00:32:46,402 --> 00:32:48,859
People need to be
alone sometimes.
421
00:32:48,948 --> 00:32:52,068
That's a false
philosophic concept.
422
00:32:52,367 --> 00:32:55,202
-You are never alone.
-Not in New York City.
423
00:32:55,287 --> 00:32:59,036
Us roaches see everything you
do. So what? We're all friends here.
424
00:32:59,125 --> 00:33:00,951
Okay. Fine. Shut up.
425
00:33:01,669 --> 00:33:02,914
Oh, I like that.
426
00:33:03,003 --> 00:33:05,080
-"Shut up," he says.
-Shut up yourself.
427
00:33:05,172 --> 00:33:07,842
-No manners, this guy.
-Who needs you?
428
00:33:08,050 --> 00:33:10,588
-So long, Romeo.
-I bet she's a dog.
429
00:33:18,894 --> 00:33:21,729
Dear Lily, I want
to help your garden.
430
00:33:21,897 --> 00:33:25,942
That's "plow your garden," Joe.
Tell her you want to plow her.
431
00:33:31,906 --> 00:33:33,816
I said shut up already!
432
00:33:33,908 --> 00:33:35,107
Come on, Joe!
433
00:33:35,202 --> 00:33:37,906
Dames secretly like it
when you give them shit.
434
00:33:37,996 --> 00:33:40,914
We need fertilizer. Lots ofit.
435
00:33:45,086 --> 00:33:46,285
What are you doing?
436
00:33:46,380 --> 00:33:49,464
Giving you a neck rub.
You seem a little tense.
437
00:33:49,591 --> 00:33:51,998
-Okay, okay! We're gone!
-Chill out.
438
00:34:28,670 --> 00:34:29,785
Wait.
439
00:34:30,212 --> 00:34:31,674
Hey, get out!
440
00:35:39,824 --> 00:35:43,572
You've got to be more careful
with those enthusiastic greetings.
441
00:35:43,661 --> 00:35:45,284
I'm an old man.
442
00:35:45,453 --> 00:35:46,948
Oh, Daddy.
443
00:35:48,039 --> 00:35:52,369
I got a call from your job
supervisor the other day.
444
00:35:53,129 --> 00:35:57,541
He told me that you're spending a
lot of time in that little atrium of yours.
445
00:35:57,632 --> 00:35:59,507
But I must insist...
446
00:36:03,013 --> 00:36:05,719
Tell me where you
got those earrings.
447
00:36:07,184 --> 00:36:08,300
Saks.
448
00:36:08,602 --> 00:36:12,184
The atrium is just a dry
run for my first big project.
449
00:36:12,481 --> 00:36:16,015
What? I'm sorry, a
project? What project?
450
00:36:16,109 --> 00:36:19,027
I'm starting a community
garden in the East Village.
451
00:36:19,112 --> 00:36:21,189
That's nice. Whereabouts?
452
00:36:21,407 --> 00:36:24,610
East 8th Street in Avenue
B. In your old neighborhood.
453
00:36:24,702 --> 00:36:26,693
Isn't this great, Daddy?
454
00:36:26,786 --> 00:36:27,984
Pumpkin...
455
00:36:28,079 --> 00:36:31,079
I'm building a federal
prison on that site.
456
00:36:32,665 --> 00:36:35,622
A prison? In the middle
of the East Village?
457
00:36:36,046 --> 00:36:39,995
Why not? With all the crime
and drugs, it's already a prison.
458
00:36:42,678 --> 00:36:45,513
Not until my 30-day
gardening permit expires.
459
00:36:45,596 --> 00:36:49,428
And by that time, I'll have the
whole East Village behind me.
460
00:36:49,517 --> 00:36:51,676
Now, if you'll excuse me...
461
00:36:53,063 --> 00:36:54,935
I have some mulching to do.
462
00:37:10,872 --> 00:37:12,780
Hey, what's that smell?
463
00:37:12,873 --> 00:37:15,116
-It's odoriferous.
-It's "splendoriferous."
464
00:37:15,209 --> 00:37:19,503
-Joe, you are a prince among men.
-Always thinking of your buddies.
465
00:37:21,256 --> 00:37:22,336
Letter for Ralph.
466
00:37:22,424 --> 00:37:24,500
-Mail call!
-Anything for me?
467
00:37:24,802 --> 00:37:27,257
-Letter for Rodney.
-A postcard from Uncle Sid.
468
00:37:27,345 --> 00:37:28,674
How is Tampa?
469
00:37:28,847 --> 00:37:30,306
Garbage magazine?
470
00:37:30,390 --> 00:37:32,798
-Thanks a bunch, Joe!
-My sex toy arrived yet?
471
00:37:32,893 --> 00:37:34,684
Junk mail, junk mail.
472
00:37:34,770 --> 00:37:36,432
Hey, one for me.
473
00:37:36,523 --> 00:37:38,184
-It's from Mom.
-No kidding.
474
00:37:38,274 --> 00:37:40,682
-How is the old bag?
-Be respectful.
475
00:37:40,777 --> 00:37:42,684
Joe knows I'm kidding!
476
00:37:44,029 --> 00:37:47,861
"Dear Joe, got you a job
interview with P.I. Smith & Sons.
477
00:37:47,949 --> 00:37:50,523
"The boss is my old
high school classmate."
478
00:37:50,619 --> 00:37:54,616
-P.I. Smith & Sons? Great company.
-You've heard of them?
479
00:37:54,705 --> 00:37:56,995
They're the biggest
manufacturer in New York.
480
00:37:57,082 --> 00:37:58,541
What do they make?
481
00:38:00,711 --> 00:38:05,289
When I was about your age, I woke
up one morning and said to myself:
482
00:38:05,384 --> 00:38:07,044
"Urinal cake.
483
00:38:07,136 --> 00:38:08,878
"That's the future."
484
00:38:09,721 --> 00:38:10,884
So...
485
00:38:11,306 --> 00:38:14,473
I decided to aim for
men's room manufacturing.
486
00:38:15,976 --> 00:38:19,808
Now I'm the richest man in
the urinal sanitation industry.
487
00:38:21,442 --> 00:38:24,560
Twenty million men piss
on my name everyday.
488
00:38:25,986 --> 00:38:27,361
That's great, sir.
489
00:38:27,446 --> 00:38:29,484
So, you're an lowa boy, like me.
490
00:38:29,573 --> 00:38:32,112
Yes, sir. Went to
Murchison High School.
491
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:33,992
Good old Murchison.
492
00:38:34,202 --> 00:38:35,781
"Go, Bullfrogs!"
493
00:38:37,915 --> 00:38:41,960
My mom could do that cheer really
well. She was a varsity cheerleader.
494
00:38:42,043 --> 00:38:43,587
I remember.
495
00:38:44,088 --> 00:38:47,041
Your mom was the
hottest tomato in school.
496
00:38:52,138 --> 00:38:55,921
Does your mom still wear
her hair in that sexy way?
497
00:38:58,810 --> 00:39:02,180
Does mischief still
sparkle in her eye...
498
00:39:03,356 --> 00:39:04,767
that minx?
499
00:39:06,235 --> 00:39:10,233
Mommy still got that
saucy swing to her hips?
500
00:39:13,324 --> 00:39:15,448
Did Mommy ever give you...
501
00:39:15,828 --> 00:39:17,321
a sponge bath?
502
00:39:19,747 --> 00:39:23,082
Welcome to the research
department for P.I. Smith & Sons.
503
00:39:23,167 --> 00:39:27,117
You will play an essential role in
our quest for the perfect urinal cake:
504
00:39:27,213 --> 00:39:28,957
Used product retrieval.
505
00:39:29,048 --> 00:39:32,629
Your first assignment, retrieve all
used product from the restrooms...
506
00:39:32,718 --> 00:39:35,921
at 58 East 161st
Street, the Bronx.
507
00:39:36,012 --> 00:39:39,134
Deliver them to the research
department for testing.
508
00:39:39,434 --> 00:39:42,104
58 East 161st Street.
509
00:39:42,812 --> 00:39:45,814
58 East 161st...
510
00:39:56,367 --> 00:39:57,777
Joe's here!
511
00:39:58,576 --> 00:40:00,652
Let him watch. He's okay.
512
00:40:01,497 --> 00:40:02,575
What's this?
513
00:40:02,665 --> 00:40:05,619
Channel R. The roach
public access channel.
514
00:40:06,293 --> 00:40:08,251
You roaches have
your own channel?
515
00:40:08,337 --> 00:40:09,667
Shut up!
516
00:40:17,012 --> 00:40:20,427
Are you ready for
something itsy-bitsy, baby?
517
00:40:22,059 --> 00:40:25,178
Come and get it,
you greasy little tick.
518
00:40:25,688 --> 00:40:28,605
Oh, my God! I'm going to pupate!
519
00:40:30,900 --> 00:40:32,643
You so fine, baby.
520
00:40:33,028 --> 00:40:35,600
Bloats up your
crop, don't it, Joe?
521
00:40:49,085 --> 00:40:50,461
Hey, Joe!
522
00:40:51,421 --> 00:40:54,588
-What is it now?
-You seem a little down.
523
00:40:54,675 --> 00:40:56,168
Are you okay?
524
00:40:56,635 --> 00:40:57,914
Just great.
525
00:40:58,053 --> 00:41:00,258
I'm lonely, my job sucks...
526
00:41:00,596 --> 00:41:03,928
and I'm in love with a
girl who's got a boyfriend.
527
00:41:04,182 --> 00:41:06,756
My life has totally
turned to shit.
528
00:41:07,019 --> 00:41:09,262
Funny thing about shit, Joe.
529
00:41:09,565 --> 00:41:12,518
-Good stuff grows out of it.
-Yeah, right.
530
00:41:13,027 --> 00:41:16,442
You don't believe me? Check
out that bag in the corner.
531
00:41:52,230 --> 00:41:54,804
Where do you want
this stupid bush?
532
00:41:56,194 --> 00:41:57,901
Right over there.
533
00:41:58,319 --> 00:42:00,277
Isn't this great, Blank?
534
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:02,608
This is not my thing.
535
00:42:02,699 --> 00:42:04,822
Why did I say yes to this?
536
00:42:08,206 --> 00:42:09,485
For you.
537
00:42:10,374 --> 00:42:12,413
Elephicalia vermilius?
538
00:42:13,336 --> 00:42:15,542
I did my senior
thesis on this flower.
539
00:42:15,630 --> 00:42:18,582
It's only found in Sri
Lankan elephant habitats.
540
00:42:18,674 --> 00:42:21,247
It loves rotting,
moist conditions.
541
00:42:26,599 --> 00:42:27,843
You know...
542
00:42:28,725 --> 00:42:31,263
It's a terrific planting
for the garden.
543
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:33,764
Good.
544
00:42:33,978 --> 00:42:35,141
Thanks.
545
00:42:37,358 --> 00:42:39,101
What's "P.I.S. & S?"
546
00:42:41,279 --> 00:42:44,030
It's the bank I work for.
547
00:42:45,616 --> 00:42:49,116
"Prudential lnvestment
Stocks and Security Savings..."
548
00:42:51,165 --> 00:42:53,489
I thought you played in a band.
549
00:42:54,001 --> 00:42:55,080
I do.
550
00:42:55,669 --> 00:42:56,830
But...
551
00:42:57,837 --> 00:43:00,327
banking is kind
of like my trade.
552
00:43:00,463 --> 00:43:03,086
I'm sort of a
rock-and-roll banker.
553
00:43:04,217 --> 00:43:06,543
You wear these overalls to work?
554
00:43:10,224 --> 00:43:11,635
What's this?
555
00:43:14,310 --> 00:43:17,975
Those are
super-mulching pellets.
556
00:43:18,065 --> 00:43:20,389
Great for growing things.
557
00:43:20,483 --> 00:43:23,983
-I've never seen them before.
-It's a new technology.
558
00:43:24,738 --> 00:43:27,311
Could you get some
of these for the garden?
559
00:43:28,659 --> 00:43:30,318
As many as you want!
560
00:43:34,747 --> 00:43:36,158
Thank you.
561
00:43:36,874 --> 00:43:38,370
You're great.
562
00:43:40,503 --> 00:43:43,587
On one condition: You come
see my band tomorrow night.
563
00:43:43,673 --> 00:43:45,796
I can put you on the list.
564
00:43:47,635 --> 00:43:49,178
I don't know.
565
00:43:49,847 --> 00:43:51,174
Come on.
566
00:43:55,393 --> 00:43:57,551
Can't resist a man in a uniform.
567
00:44:04,442 --> 00:44:06,731
Thank you for tuning
into Alternative Life.
568
00:44:06,819 --> 00:44:09,394
New York's only truly
underground forum.
569
00:44:09,490 --> 00:44:11,150
We continue last
week's discussion:
570
00:44:11,242 --> 00:44:14,361
"How can we promote better
understanding between species?"
571
00:44:14,453 --> 00:44:16,446
Lay off the rat jokes!
572
00:44:16,539 --> 00:44:19,540
How many rats does it
take to screw in a light bulb?
573
00:44:19,626 --> 00:44:21,867
How'd you like a punch
in the beak, wise guy?
574
00:44:21,962 --> 00:44:23,788
Lay off the bird, sewer breath!
575
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:25,754
Go gnaw some nuts!
576
00:44:25,924 --> 00:44:27,631
Can 't we all just get along?
577
00:44:27,716 --> 00:44:28,795
No!
578
00:44:34,390 --> 00:44:35,469
Now, guys...
579
00:44:35,557 --> 00:44:37,965
-Out of the way.
-We're watching Charlie Roach.
580
00:44:38,060 --> 00:44:39,767
I've got a date tonight.
581
00:44:40,979 --> 00:44:42,437
Is she cute?
582
00:44:42,522 --> 00:44:44,979
-About time, Joey!
-Porkola time, buddy.
583
00:44:45,068 --> 00:44:47,558
-So I want you to stay out of sight.
-Who, us?
584
00:44:47,653 --> 00:44:50,024
-Sure, Joey.
-No problem, Joe.
585
00:44:50,112 --> 00:44:52,486
-You got the place to yourself.
-We're Gandhi.
586
00:44:52,573 --> 00:44:56,867
I'll forget every horrible thing you've
ever done to me if you disappear tonight.
587
00:44:57,120 --> 00:44:59,196
-Just disappear.
-We're on the same team.
588
00:44:59,289 --> 00:45:00,949
Forget about it.
589
00:45:01,207 --> 00:45:02,750
I mean it.
590
00:45:04,210 --> 00:45:05,491
Thanks, Joe.
591
00:45:05,587 --> 00:45:07,744
Look at that piece of meat.
592
00:45:08,340 --> 00:45:10,583
That is some dope shit, Joe.
593
00:45:10,717 --> 00:45:12,459
Look at that, Joe!
594
00:45:25,898 --> 00:45:28,271
-That hit the spot.
-Complements to the chef.
595
00:45:28,359 --> 00:45:29,902
Joe's first date!
596
00:45:31,488 --> 00:45:33,396
Let's make it special.
597
00:45:33,655 --> 00:45:35,944
-Great idea, Ralph.
-Special, sure.
598
00:45:36,032 --> 00:45:37,194
I'm in favor.
599
00:45:43,124 --> 00:45:46,458
Come on, buddy, that's it.
Let's get him over the curb.
600
00:45:51,548 --> 00:45:52,628
Mr. Smith?
601
00:45:53,677 --> 00:45:55,716
It's a hostile takeover.
602
00:45:57,388 --> 00:46:00,757
Ten minutes ago this company
became a wholly-owned subsidiary...
603
00:46:00,850 --> 00:46:02,972
of Featherstone
Feminine Products.
604
00:46:03,059 --> 00:46:06,511
They're going to shut down
the whole urinal cake division!
605
00:46:06,605 --> 00:46:08,432
Don't forget to take this.
606
00:46:08,523 --> 00:46:11,857
This way, gentlemen.
Roll it over here.
607
00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:17,231
My whole life's work!
608
00:46:17,449 --> 00:46:18,944
Ruined!
609
00:46:19,452 --> 00:46:20,860
That's right.
610
00:46:20,951 --> 00:46:23,871
The days of trickle-down
economics are over.
611
00:47:16,383 --> 00:47:19,502
Ladies and gentlemen.
It's loud, it's bad...
612
00:47:19,593 --> 00:47:21,752
it's Shit!
613
00:47:31,855 --> 00:47:33,266
Easy crowd.
614
00:47:37,652 --> 00:47:39,396
Oh, a new drummer.
615
00:47:41,531 --> 00:47:43,524
Yeah, I hope he's good.
616
00:47:43,658 --> 00:47:44,903
Hit it!
617
00:48:14,146 --> 00:48:15,854
I'm sorry!
618
00:48:16,315 --> 00:48:19,566
There won't be any
rock-and-roll tonight.
619
00:48:19,736 --> 00:48:22,227
This is all that's left!
620
00:48:27,661 --> 00:48:30,696
This feeble wimped-out
death rattle...
621
00:48:30,789 --> 00:48:33,872
is all that remains of
the rolling thunder...
622
00:48:33,958 --> 00:48:35,949
of America's heartbeat!
623
00:48:56,982 --> 00:48:58,807
It wasn't that bad.
624
00:48:59,024 --> 00:49:00,519
Yes, it was.
625
00:49:02,611 --> 00:49:05,612
Maybe you should
stick to banking, after all.
626
00:49:06,615 --> 00:49:09,235
I'm not a banker.
I'm not a drummer.
627
00:49:09,951 --> 00:49:13,201
I can't even keep a job
collecting urinal cakes.
628
00:49:13,371 --> 00:49:14,700
I'm just...
629
00:49:15,165 --> 00:49:16,278
nothing.
630
00:49:17,459 --> 00:49:19,451
I think you're something.
631
00:49:24,966 --> 00:49:28,252
-Why aren't you with your boyfriend?
-What boyfriend?
632
00:49:28,345 --> 00:49:31,796
The guy I saw you kiss in
the garden a few days ago.
633
00:49:33,932 --> 00:49:36,639
He's probably home
kissing my mother.
634
00:49:38,478 --> 00:49:39,939
He's my dad.
635
00:49:46,029 --> 00:49:48,354
The lot is completely planted.
636
00:49:48,446 --> 00:49:51,782
The community is behind it,
the flowers are starting to bloom.
637
00:49:51,869 --> 00:49:54,110
Now I just have to
show it to my father...
638
00:49:54,203 --> 00:49:57,322
and show him something good
can come out of the neighborhood...
639
00:49:57,415 --> 00:49:58,826
and it's worth saving.
640
00:49:58,916 --> 00:50:00,660
Do you want to come to my place?
641
00:50:04,464 --> 00:50:06,170
I've got a towel you could use.
642
00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:31,789
♪ Funky towel ♪
643
00:50:31,836 --> 00:50:33,463
♪ Towel's got the funk ♪
644
00:50:34,084 --> 00:50:36,306
♪ Funky towel ♪
645
00:50:36,438 --> 00:50:38,220
♪ Towel's got the funk ♪
646
00:50:38,811 --> 00:50:41,038
♪ Funky towel ♪
647
00:50:41,108 --> 00:50:42,783
♪ Towel's got the funk ♪
648
00:50:43,417 --> 00:50:45,624
♪ Baby, I got the love ♪
649
00:50:45,712 --> 00:50:47,870
♪ Baby, I got the power ♪
650
00:50:47,964 --> 00:50:50,122
♪ Come on, girl, and rock my world ♪
651
00:50:50,217 --> 00:50:52,422
♪ And my funky towel ♪
652
00:51:04,481 --> 00:51:06,603
♪ Baby, got the love ♪
653
00:51:06,691 --> 00:51:08,683
♪ Baby, got the howl ♪
654
00:51:09,025 --> 00:51:11,234
♪ Let's get down to party town ♪
655
00:51:11,321 --> 00:51:13,444
♪ And my funky towel ♪
656
00:51:15,908 --> 00:51:19,739
♪ Thick and funky Steamin ♪
♪ ' up the dance floor ♪
657
00:51:20,703 --> 00:51:23,622
♪ Get on up and shake that thing ♪
658
00:51:25,335 --> 00:51:28,668
♪ Everybody's gettin ♪
♪ ' what they ask for ♪
659
00:51:29,965 --> 00:51:33,130
♪ Everybody, everybody, sing ♪
660
00:51:34,551 --> 00:51:37,718
♪ Sing, sing, sing ♪
661
00:51:38,596 --> 00:51:41,551
♪ Welcome to Joey's toilet ♪
662
00:52:08,085 --> 00:52:09,793
-Make yourself at home.
-Thanks.
663
00:52:09,878 --> 00:52:11,455
I've got a towel...
664
00:52:21,430 --> 00:52:22,758
What are you doing?
665
00:52:22,848 --> 00:52:25,600
Having a party,
what does it look like?
666
00:52:25,769 --> 00:52:27,927
I'm serious. I want
you out of here!
667
00:52:28,021 --> 00:52:30,262
-Joe, my brother!
-Thanks, Joey!
668
00:52:30,356 --> 00:52:32,728
-What say there?
-Bust a move.
669
00:52:33,942 --> 00:52:36,019
♪ Funky towel ♪
670
00:52:36,112 --> 00:52:38,438
♪ Towel's got the funk ♪
671
00:52:39,616 --> 00:52:42,452
Okay, I'm dancing.
Now, beat it. Leave.
672
00:52:51,917 --> 00:52:55,004
You just flushed the rhythm
section out to Coney lsland.
673
00:52:55,088 --> 00:52:57,498
So follow them out
there. Lily's here.
674
00:52:57,592 --> 00:52:58,790
She is?
675
00:53:03,555 --> 00:53:05,963
My towels are in the laundry.
676
00:53:06,059 --> 00:53:07,717
Oh, that's fine.
677
00:53:28,205 --> 00:53:29,369
So...
678
00:53:29,914 --> 00:53:31,907
do you live here alone?
679
00:53:32,543 --> 00:53:34,701
Yep. Nobody here but us.
680
00:53:39,966 --> 00:53:41,758
Guys, you promised.
681
00:53:43,010 --> 00:53:45,714
Come on, baby, light my fire.
682
00:53:48,391 --> 00:53:50,762
-Up periscope.
-Music, maestro.
683
00:54:00,862 --> 00:54:02,938
How about a smooch, baby?
684
00:54:09,704 --> 00:54:11,577
Your place is so comfy.
685
00:54:12,291 --> 00:54:13,370
Shut up.
686
00:54:15,041 --> 00:54:16,452
I mean...
687
00:54:17,878 --> 00:54:19,040
drink up.
688
00:54:20,839 --> 00:54:22,748
Down the hatch, sweetie.
689
00:54:23,591 --> 00:54:26,166
Here's to life's
little surprises.
690
00:54:33,310 --> 00:54:36,062
I think you'll need
one of these, Joe.
691
00:54:40,565 --> 00:54:41,977
Pretzel nugget?
692
00:54:43,696 --> 00:54:45,272
Bon appetit.
693
00:54:49,660 --> 00:54:51,237
What a lover!
694
00:54:51,369 --> 00:54:52,863
A real Casanova.
695
00:54:53,371 --> 00:54:54,569
Go get her.
696
00:54:55,207 --> 00:54:57,000
I beg your pardon?
697
00:54:57,461 --> 00:54:58,953
Feeling better?
698
00:54:59,419 --> 00:55:00,700
Well, I'm...
699
00:55:01,255 --> 00:55:02,962
still a little wet.
700
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:10,049
-What's going on?
-Don't push.
701
00:55:10,805 --> 00:55:13,012
I'm sorry. I hope
you don't catch cold.
702
00:55:13,099 --> 00:55:15,139
-She wants it.
-I smell victory.
703
00:55:15,351 --> 00:55:17,343
At least it wasn't a downpour.
704
00:55:19,940 --> 00:55:21,433
Steady there!
705
00:55:25,735 --> 00:55:27,646
-Steady!
-Don't tip it!
706
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:36,905
Let me out of here!
707
00:55:40,501 --> 00:55:41,996
No, no! Wait!
708
00:55:43,004 --> 00:55:44,582
Oh, my God!
709
00:55:46,215 --> 00:55:47,839
Lily, come back!
710
00:55:54,723 --> 00:55:56,764
Oh, my God.
711
00:55:59,479 --> 00:56:00,758
My garden.
712
00:56:06,361 --> 00:56:07,985
My father was right.
713
00:56:09,653 --> 00:56:12,359
This place does
deserve to be a prison.
714
00:56:13,658 --> 00:56:16,149
The East Village sucks!
715
00:56:25,628 --> 00:56:27,706
We're really sorry, man.
716
00:56:27,798 --> 00:56:29,673
-We're sorry.
-We didn't mean it.
717
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:31,418
Tough break, buddy.
718
00:56:31,509 --> 00:56:32,754
We didn't know.
719
00:56:32,845 --> 00:56:35,417
Beer, Joe? Oh, sorry.
720
00:56:35,513 --> 00:56:37,339
She'll never speak to me again.
721
00:56:37,431 --> 00:56:39,638
Come on. There'll
be others, Joe.
722
00:56:39,726 --> 00:56:42,181
I don't want any
others. I want Lily.
723
00:56:42,645 --> 00:56:43,808
I want to die.
724
00:56:43,897 --> 00:56:45,604
Look on the bright side.
725
00:56:46,064 --> 00:56:47,809
You always got us.
726
00:56:50,278 --> 00:56:51,653
All right.
727
00:56:51,779 --> 00:56:53,155
That's it.
728
00:56:53,654 --> 00:56:56,904
I'm getting rid of you
roaches once and for all.
729
00:56:57,327 --> 00:56:58,655
Wait. Don't be rash.
730
00:56:58,746 --> 00:57:01,152
I'll kill every last one of you!
731
00:57:01,289 --> 00:57:02,866
We're family!
732
00:57:02,957 --> 00:57:05,116
Well, I guess this means war.
733
00:57:07,253 --> 00:57:08,664
Joe, let's talk.
734
00:57:08,755 --> 00:57:11,246
This is all I have to
say to you, Ralph.
735
00:57:12,926 --> 00:57:15,630
-He's got a bomb!
-Run for your lives!
736
00:57:16,179 --> 00:57:17,969
No! Don't do it!
737
00:57:28,064 --> 00:57:30,391
My babies! My babies!
738
00:57:30,484 --> 00:57:32,606
One, two, three, heave!
739
00:57:33,863 --> 00:57:34,905
Heave!
740
00:57:47,041 --> 00:57:49,830
Careful, soldier,
don't lose your head.
741
00:57:50,336 --> 00:57:52,827
Oh, Joe's little dolly got hurt.
742
00:57:56,175 --> 00:57:57,753
Red alert!
743
00:58:06,894 --> 00:58:08,970
Armored force, attack!
744
00:58:13,317 --> 00:58:14,728
Let her go!
745
00:58:16,195 --> 00:58:17,855
Timber!
746
00:58:31,753 --> 00:58:34,208
-What the...
-Hello, Joe.
747
00:58:34,296 --> 00:58:35,874
Now can we talk?
748
00:58:36,466 --> 00:58:39,039
-You go first.
-No, you go first.
749
00:58:40,679 --> 00:58:42,551
Goddamn, you
little sons of bitches!
750
00:58:42,638 --> 00:58:44,797
Get the hell out
of my apartment!
751
00:58:44,891 --> 00:58:46,385
Listen to that.
752
00:58:46,476 --> 00:58:48,846
-Your apartment?
-I believe we were here first.
753
00:58:48,935 --> 00:58:52,222
We'll be here last, too. We got
a long-term lease on this planet.
754
00:58:52,314 --> 00:58:57,189
Roaches will be crawling on the daisy
popping out of the last rotting human.
755
00:58:57,735 --> 00:58:59,147
God, you're disgusting!
756
00:58:59,238 --> 00:59:02,274
Like you humans are
any kind of fucking prize!
757
00:59:02,367 --> 00:59:04,524
What makes you so
much better than us?
758
00:59:04,618 --> 00:59:08,034
War, pollution, New Age music!
759
00:59:08,413 --> 00:59:11,117
I suppose those
things are our fault?
760
00:59:17,005 --> 00:59:19,045
We just want to
say two things. First:
761
00:59:19,131 --> 00:59:21,255
We're sorry we ruined
your life. Second:
762
00:59:21,343 --> 00:59:22,456
Goodbye.
763
00:59:22,551 --> 00:59:24,047
-Toodles.
-Sayonara.
764
00:59:24,137 --> 00:59:25,963
What do you mean "goodbye"?
765
00:59:26,055 --> 00:59:30,184
-We took a big risk talking to you.
-Since you faked our friendship...
766
00:59:30,268 --> 00:59:33,139
you can't walk off
knowing what you know.
767
00:59:35,316 --> 00:59:37,223
Painful decision, Joe.
768
00:59:37,901 --> 00:59:39,063
Wait!
769
00:59:42,238 --> 00:59:44,277
Here, roachy, roachy.
770
00:59:45,909 --> 00:59:47,486
Going to miss you.
771
00:59:48,452 --> 00:59:50,195
I was kidding.
772
00:59:50,330 --> 00:59:53,450
-Any last words?
-Don't kill me.
773
00:59:53,707 --> 00:59:55,248
Those are the last words?
774
00:59:55,333 --> 00:59:57,242
Ready! Aim!
775
01:00:05,094 --> 01:00:06,921
Ralph! Rodney!
776
01:00:08,181 --> 01:00:09,425
Help!
777
01:01:32,096 --> 01:01:34,089
Big deal. Please hold.
778
01:01:35,058 --> 01:01:36,884
So what? Please hold.
779
01:01:37,518 --> 01:01:39,974
Don't make me
laugh. Please hold.
780
01:01:41,772 --> 01:01:43,266
No, ma'am.
781
01:01:43,357 --> 01:01:47,226
I think you should take the
shrapnel out before you cauterize.
782
01:01:47,320 --> 01:01:50,190
-I don 't think I can do it.
-Please hold.
783
01:01:51,698 --> 01:01:53,738
Central Complaint Department.
784
01:01:53,826 --> 01:01:56,495
I'd like to speak
to Lily Dougherty.
785
01:01:58,997 --> 01:02:00,656
Lily's not here.
786
01:02:01,207 --> 01:02:02,701
Will she be back soon?
787
01:02:02,791 --> 01:02:05,118
No. She's sick.
788
01:02:05,212 --> 01:02:06,291
Sick?
789
01:02:08,257 --> 01:02:10,165
She's sick of her job.
790
01:02:10,424 --> 01:02:12,132
And she's sick of New York City.
791
01:02:12,218 --> 01:02:16,217
And she's sick of having her
stupid daydreams dashed to pieces.
792
01:02:17,431 --> 01:02:19,009
And what makes her sickest...
793
01:02:19,101 --> 01:02:22,350
is the unspeakably rotten things
some people do to other people...
794
01:02:22,436 --> 01:02:24,559
just when she was
beginning to like them!
795
01:02:24,647 --> 01:02:26,141
Lily, is that you?
796
01:02:27,192 --> 01:02:28,270
No.
797
01:02:28,609 --> 01:02:29,985
Lily quit.
798
01:02:30,070 --> 01:02:31,612
Lily, it's Joe!
799
01:02:31,695 --> 01:02:32,776
Lily!
800
01:03:14,197 --> 01:03:15,359
Ralph!
801
01:03:17,283 --> 01:03:18,326
Rodney!
802
01:03:20,202 --> 01:03:22,905
I don't care if you can
hear me or not, Ralph!
803
01:03:23,163 --> 01:03:25,784
But you can keep
this goddamn city!
804
01:03:26,332 --> 01:03:29,002
I'm going back to lowa!
805
01:03:29,544 --> 01:03:32,166
Here's a souvenir
to take with you.
806
01:03:34,006 --> 01:03:35,799
So long, sucker.
807
01:03:36,093 --> 01:03:38,168
I love the real estate business.
808
01:03:46,603 --> 01:03:48,641
The place looks great.
809
01:03:48,730 --> 01:03:50,521
Sure it does,
Ralph. Where's Joe?
810
01:03:50,607 --> 01:03:52,730
Around here
someplace, I suppose.
811
01:03:55,861 --> 01:03:56,976
Joe!
812
01:03:58,782 --> 01:04:00,691
Joe, speak to me!
813
01:04:00,783 --> 01:04:02,362
Who did this to you?
814
01:04:02,453 --> 01:04:06,450
We did, Ralph. We ran out on
him just when he needed us most.
815
01:04:07,290 --> 01:04:09,580
We behaved no better
than a bunch of people.
816
01:04:09,667 --> 01:04:12,871
We got to make it up to him.
Let's find him a new place.
817
01:04:13,796 --> 01:04:15,955
We got to get Lily back, too.
818
01:04:16,883 --> 01:04:19,374
Forget that, I'm a
cockroach, not Santa Claus.
819
01:04:19,469 --> 01:04:23,383
Ralphie, I'm surprised at you.
Does this mean you're giving up?
820
01:04:23,473 --> 01:04:26,756
Give up? Give up? What
are you saying to me?
821
01:04:27,309 --> 01:04:30,311
How come us roaches have
been able to outlast the dinosaurs?
822
01:04:30,395 --> 01:04:33,230
How do we survive
poison and persecution?
823
01:04:33,315 --> 01:04:36,351
How do we keep on crawling
in the face of the world in arms?
824
01:04:36,443 --> 01:04:37,485
How?
825
01:04:37,570 --> 01:04:40,606
I'll tell you how. Because
we never give up!
826
01:04:42,658 --> 01:04:44,484
A true cockroach never gives up!
827
01:04:44,577 --> 01:04:48,361
They can stomp us, they can pop
us, but they'll never ever stop us!
828
01:04:50,582 --> 01:04:55,659
Some day, the great H-bomb will drop,
and we'll have the planet to ourselves!
829
01:04:58,590 --> 01:05:02,801
I don't care if we call in favors from
every roach, rat and pigeon in New York.
830
01:05:02,885 --> 01:05:05,008
We aren't giving up on Joe!
831
01:05:05,095 --> 01:05:07,588
-Great speech, Ralph!
-Truly righteous, brother.
832
01:05:20,069 --> 01:05:21,563
Where's the stapler?
833
01:05:25,408 --> 01:05:28,444
-I need five copies.
-How do you spell "memorandum"?
834
01:05:32,416 --> 01:05:33,614
Boot it up.
835
01:05:35,209 --> 01:05:37,118
Anybody got a 1942 W-440?
836
01:05:57,814 --> 01:05:59,224
Special delivery.
837
01:05:59,898 --> 01:06:02,142
This is giving me hay fever.
838
01:06:04,195 --> 01:06:06,568
Hey, watch the potholes, homes.
839
01:06:12,497 --> 01:06:15,283
Excuse me, sir. Mind
if we borrow this?
840
01:06:56,455 --> 01:06:57,736
Tubular!
841
01:06:59,500 --> 01:07:00,663
Wash out!
842
01:07:01,003 --> 01:07:03,161
♪ Sewer surfing ♪
843
01:07:03,671 --> 01:07:05,829
♪ Under-turfing ♪
844
01:07:06,340 --> 01:07:08,628
♪ We get our kicks ♪
♪ while we're hanging six ♪
845
01:07:08,717 --> 01:07:11,291
♪ On a sewer surfing holiday ♪
846
01:07:27,567 --> 01:07:30,142
♪ We're surfing, ♪
♪ we're sewer surfing ♪
847
01:07:41,250 --> 01:07:43,780
♪ Shoo-shoo shoo-shoo,
shooting the tube ♪
848
01:07:43,878 --> 01:07:46,630
♪ We are going to get ♪
♪ there shooting the tube ♪
849
01:07:46,714 --> 01:07:49,003
♪ Hitting the loo ♪
♪ We're dirtier than you ♪
850
01:07:49,091 --> 01:07:51,167
♪ We are shooting the tube ♪
851
01:08:25,084 --> 01:08:27,243
Are you sure this
is the right address?
852
01:08:27,336 --> 01:08:28,451
Yes, Daddy.
853
01:08:28,546 --> 01:08:30,871
"324 1/2 East 8th Street.
854
01:08:30,965 --> 01:08:33,088
"Prison dedication, 9:00 a.m."
855
01:08:33,593 --> 01:08:36,758
Funny, I could have
sworn this was an empty lot.
856
01:09:30,941 --> 01:09:32,601
-Hi, Lily.
-Joe!
857
01:09:33,067 --> 01:09:34,561
What's all this?
858
01:09:34,652 --> 01:09:36,360
I guess it's sort of...
859
01:09:37,488 --> 01:09:38,651
mine.
860
01:09:40,282 --> 01:09:42,358
And I'm giving it to you.
861
01:09:44,120 --> 01:09:45,578
Is it okay?
862
01:09:45,913 --> 01:09:48,156
It's wonderful,
but how did you...
863
01:09:48,250 --> 01:09:51,085
My friends helped.
864
01:09:53,462 --> 01:09:54,660
I see.
865
01:09:56,882 --> 01:09:58,756
Lily, you were right.
866
01:09:58,926 --> 01:10:02,426
This park will do more for the
Lower East Side than 1,000 prisons.
867
01:10:02,514 --> 01:10:05,929
My boy, you've done my old
neighborhood a great service.
868
01:10:06,225 --> 01:10:08,513
It was all her idea, Senator.
869
01:10:11,854 --> 01:10:12,969
Come on.
870
01:10:16,569 --> 01:10:18,194
My friends...
871
01:10:18,363 --> 01:10:20,521
this extraordinary garden...
872
01:10:20,740 --> 01:10:24,190
is the first blossom of
this neighborhood's rebirth.
873
01:10:24,284 --> 01:10:25,696
What is this?
874
01:10:28,829 --> 01:10:32,994
Kill that lying, two-timing
Senator Dougherty. Tonight.
875
01:10:34,294 --> 01:10:37,828
Whack his daughter
and that damn kid, too.
876
01:10:39,174 --> 01:10:41,296
See all these people here?
877
01:10:41,801 --> 01:10:44,128
Dead by the end of the week.
878
01:10:47,101 --> 01:10:48,759
And that little
girl over there...
879
01:10:48,851 --> 01:10:50,262
Mr. Shirt!
880
01:10:52,979 --> 01:10:55,552
Let me show you
a hot new property.
881
01:11:04,741 --> 01:11:08,324
Welcome to Lily Park!
882
01:11:19,923 --> 01:11:22,295
There's an extra
toothbrush in the cupboard.
883
01:11:22,383 --> 01:11:23,877
Oh, really, don't bother.
884
01:11:23,968 --> 01:11:27,503
It's the least I could do.
Your house burned down.
885
01:11:28,305 --> 01:11:30,215
I'm gonna set you
up on the couch.
886
01:11:33,311 --> 01:11:36,062
Joe, you're practically inside.
887
01:11:36,146 --> 01:11:37,308
Ralph!
888
01:11:37,397 --> 01:11:39,853
-Little last minute advice.
-Get lost, Ralph!
889
01:11:39,941 --> 01:11:41,981
Look into her eyes and say:
890
01:11:42,069 --> 01:11:45,069
"Baby, I'm going to bop
you till your ears bleed!"
891
01:11:45,155 --> 01:11:47,113
Did you need something?
892
01:11:47,700 --> 01:11:48,815
No, thanks.
893
01:11:48,910 --> 01:11:52,243
Play your cards right, Joe,
and this could be our new pad.
894
01:11:52,330 --> 01:11:54,286
"Our new pad"? You little...
895
01:11:54,999 --> 01:11:58,164
We busted ass for you!
What kind of thanks do we get?
896
01:12:01,086 --> 01:12:02,201
Ralph...
897
01:12:03,215 --> 01:12:04,413
thanks.
898
01:12:05,258 --> 01:12:06,918
For everything.
899
01:12:07,427 --> 01:12:11,424
Forget it. Sorry about our little
misunderstanding back there.
900
01:12:12,014 --> 01:12:14,850
Me, too. Now, how
about a little privacy?
901
01:12:15,269 --> 01:12:17,975
Take my advice,
just grab her by...
902
01:12:27,989 --> 01:12:30,395
Gosh, Lily, you look incredible.
903
01:12:30,908 --> 01:12:33,908
-How about a little help here?
-No. I mean it.
904
01:12:35,997 --> 01:12:39,282
You're the most beautiful
girl I've ever seen in my life.
905
01:12:40,167 --> 01:12:43,916
I bet you say that to all the girls
the minute you get them alone.
906
01:12:45,213 --> 01:12:46,956
We are alone, aren't we?
907
01:12:49,010 --> 01:12:50,291
Last I looked.
908
01:12:50,387 --> 01:12:53,422
Oh, please, let me. I
can make the bed myself.
909
01:12:53,514 --> 01:12:56,301
Really? Have you ever
made a bed in your life?
910
01:12:56,767 --> 01:12:58,475
Sure, watch this.
911
01:13:01,147 --> 01:13:03,899
Swinging pad! What
do you think, Rodney?
912
01:13:04,818 --> 01:13:06,063
Brother Ralph...
913
01:13:06,152 --> 01:13:10,149
I believe that we have finally
reached the promised penthouse!
914
01:13:10,823 --> 01:13:13,492
Brother bugs and sister insects!
915
01:13:13,575 --> 01:13:15,366
Come on with it, Rodney!
916
01:13:15,451 --> 01:13:18,239
Give a shout out to
the Great Big Bug.
917
01:13:19,165 --> 01:13:22,747
With his help, we can turn
this antiseptic sanctuary...
918
01:13:22,835 --> 01:13:24,827
into a putrid paradise!
919
01:13:25,838 --> 01:13:29,122
♪ Hold my feeler, Lord ♪
♪ Lord, pull me through ♪
920
01:13:29,216 --> 01:13:30,330
♪ Pull me through ♪
921
01:13:30,424 --> 01:13:34,375
♪ Hold my feeler, Lord ♪
♪ Lord, pull me through ♪
922
01:13:34,930 --> 01:13:39,343
♪ Hold my feeler, Lord Lord, ♪
♪ till I join that golden horde ♪
923
01:13:39,434 --> 01:13:41,427
I'll be hanging
924
01:13:42,269 --> 01:13:44,263
Hanging onto you
925
01:13:49,487 --> 01:13:52,321
Lily, now that we're
alone, I should tell you...
926
01:13:52,405 --> 01:13:54,730
I'm sorry about what
happened at my apartment.
927
01:13:54,823 --> 01:13:56,782
My friends are sorry, too.
928
01:13:56,868 --> 01:13:58,148
Friends?
929
01:13:58,661 --> 01:14:02,326
I never thought I'd say this,
but they're actually kind of sweet.
930
01:14:02,539 --> 01:14:04,332
They must like you a lot.
931
01:14:05,459 --> 01:14:07,334
Not as much as I like you.
932
01:14:10,506 --> 01:14:11,787
Go, Joe!
933
01:14:11,883 --> 01:14:15,001
♪ We've been battered ♪
♪ And we've been scattered ♪
934
01:14:15,384 --> 01:14:18,172
♪ We've been splattered into goo ♪
935
01:14:18,891 --> 01:14:22,341
♪ -But the healer, he took my ♪
♪ feeler -Praise the Lord, hallelujah! ♪
936
01:14:22,435 --> 01:14:25,187
♪ And he really pulled me through ♪
937
01:14:25,271 --> 01:14:29,434
♪ -Oh, he pulled me ♪
♪ through -Oh, that feeler ♪
938
01:14:32,570 --> 01:14:36,271
♪ When I cash my chips ♪
♪ and pay the dealer ♪
939
01:14:36,532 --> 01:14:39,698
♪ I'll be holding onto ♪
♪ the Lord's feeler, too ♪
940
01:14:40,494 --> 01:14:43,660
♪ Hold my feeler ♪
941
01:14:43,789 --> 01:14:45,827
♪ And my antenna, too ♪
942
01:14:46,875 --> 01:14:50,375
♪ I've been down and ♪
♪ I've been trampled ♪
943
01:14:50,463 --> 01:14:53,747
♪ And dug myself ♪
♪ down deep in a hole ♪
944
01:14:53,965 --> 01:14:55,625
♪ But I was lifted ♪
945
01:14:55,760 --> 01:14:57,669
♪ By the love of ♪
♪ that Great Big Bug ♪
946
01:14:57,762 --> 01:15:00,926
♪ With his feelers 'round my soul ♪
947
01:15:01,221 --> 01:15:02,420
♪ Whoa, Lord ♪
948
01:15:02,515 --> 01:15:04,473
♪ Won 't you hold my feeler? ♪
949
01:15:04,559 --> 01:15:07,228
♪ Hold my feeler ♪
♪ and pull me through ♪
950
01:15:07,311 --> 01:15:09,185
♪ I want you to feel my feeler! ♪
951
01:15:09,272 --> 01:15:13,815
♪ My Lord, there's nothing realer ♪
952
01:15:19,115 --> 01:15:20,861
Joe, that tickles.
953
01:15:22,994 --> 01:15:29,198
♪ Than my ever-loving ♪
♪ feeler feeling you ♪
954
01:15:38,801 --> 01:15:42,086
♪ So! So long from Joe's apartment ♪
955
01:15:42,179 --> 01:15:45,262
♪ We're sad to see you go ♪
956
01:15:45,348 --> 01:15:47,885
♪ Thanks for coming, ♪
♪ it's been swell ♪
957
01:15:47,975 --> 01:15:50,598
♪ Check back into our motel ♪
958
01:15:50,689 --> 01:15:54,272
♪ Hope you didn't mind the smell ♪
959
01:15:54,649 --> 01:15:56,275
♪ Joe's apartment ♪
960
01:15:56,360 --> 01:16:02,564
♪ our own sweet home ♪68972
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