Original subtitles

[Soos] Previously on Gravity Falls,

the Mystery Shack crew banded together

to try and stop Bill, and there was some mad action.

Bill needed Ford to take over the world,

but we rescued him and he showed us Bill's secret weakness--

till the Stan Bros. messed it all up,

which kind of brings us up to date.

I'm Soos, and I'm on the edge of my seat.

Ha ha ha ho!

This is just too perfect!

Didn't you brainiacs know the zodiac doesn't work

if you don't all hold hands?

And what's better, you've brought every threat to my power

together in one easy-to-destroy circle!

-[gasps] -Oh, no!

Aah! My hair!

Aah! My hair also!

You guys want to see what happens to your friends

when you can't get along?

Hey! You give them back!

You've gone too far, Cipher!

Yeah! We're not scared of you!

Oh, but you should be.

[cries and groans]

[cries]

-Aaah! -Oh, no!

Ya know, this castle could really use some decoration!

-[thunder crashing] -[both gasp]

Looks like it's too late for your friends, Stanford!

-[both yell] -Kids!

But you can still save your family!

Last chance: Tell me how to take Weirdmageddon global

and I'll spare the kids!

-No! Don't do it! -Yeah!

Bill makes bad deals!

Don't you toy with me, shooting star!

I see everything!

Ow! Not again!

Why?! Every time!

Nice shot, pumpkin!

I just regenerated that eye!

I know that hurts

because I've accidentally done it to myself--

multiple times!

Aaah! Aaah!

Save yourselves!

Run! We'll take care of Bill!

What?! That's a suicide mission!

Trust us. We've beat him before...

And we'll beat him again!

Hey, Bill! Come and get us, you pointy jerk!

[Bill howls]

What? No! It's too dangerous!

[both groaning]

Not so fast! You two wait here!

I've got some children I need to make into corpses!

[monster voice] See ya real soon!

-[cackling] -Wait! No, no!

What do we do? what do we do?

Kids!

-[kids panting] -[Bill roaring]

When I get my hands on you kids,

I'm gonna disassemble your molecules!

[both gasp]

You've tricked me for the last time!

[both screaming]

[Stan] Ohh! I can't believe this!

The kids are gonna die, and it's all my fault--

because I couldn't shake your stupid hand!

Ahh, Dad was right about me. I am a screw-up.

Ah, don't blame yourself. I'm the one

who made a deal with Bill in the first place.

I fell for all his easy flattery.

You would have seen him for the scam artist he is.

How did things get so messed up between us?

We used to be like Dipper and Mabel.

The world's about to end, and they still work together.

-How do they do it? -Easy. They're kids.

They don't know any better.

Whoa, where you goin'?

I'm gonna play the only card we have left.

Let Bill into my mind.

He'll be able to take over the galaxy,

and maybe even worse,

but at least he might let the kids free.

What?! Are you kiddin' me?!

Are you honestly telling me there's nothing else we can do?!

Bill's only weak in the mind space.

If I didn't have this darn plate in my head,

we could just erase him with the memory gun

when he steps inside my mind.

What if he goes into my mind?

-My brain isn't good for anything. -[chuckles]

There's nothing in your mind he wants. It has to be me.

We need to take his deal.

It's the only way he'll agree to save you and the kids.

Do you really think he's gonna make good on that deal?

What other choice do we have?

-Aaah! -Aaah!

[Dipper] You know, I'm starting to think there's no way out of here.

Like Grunkle Stan always says,

when one door closes,

choose a nearby wall and bash it in with brute force!

[grunting]

Aaaaah!

Ha! Now let's round up the townsfolk,

and together we can defeat--

Oh, no!

[all laughing]

You'll never take us alive, monsters!

That's fine with us!

Gulp!

[all cry out]

-Oh, no! -[Bill] Peek-a-boo!

[both scream]

All right, Ford, time's up!

I've got the kids!

I think I'm gonna kill one of 'em now,

just for the heck of it!

Eeny, meeny...

miny...

-You...! -[Ford] Wait!

-I surrender! -Good choice.

[Stan] Don't do it, Ford! It'll destroy the universe!

[Ford] It's the only way!

[Bill cackling]

Oh, even when you're about to die,

you Pines twins just can't get along!

My only condition

is that you let my brother and the kids go.

Fine.

No, Grunkle Ford! Don't trust him!

It's a... deal!

[cackling]

Oh, I'm here. I'm finally here!

Look at this place-- a perfect, calm, orderly void.

Gotta hand it to you, Ford,

you really know how to clear your--

[clicks tongue] What?!

Ha ha! Do a pretty good impression of my brother, don't I?

Switch clothes, and no one can tell us apart.

Welcome to my mind. Surprised you didn't recognize it.

What?! The deal's off!

What the-- No, no, no, no!

[Stan] Oh, yeah. You're goin' down, Bill.

You're gettin' erased.

Memory gun. Pretty clever, huh?

Y-You idiot! Don't you realize

you're destroying your own mind too?

Eh. It's not like I was using this space for much anyway.

Let me out of here! Let me--

Oh--Why isn't this working?!

Hey, look at me. Turn around and look at me,

you one-eyed demon!

You're a real wise guy, but you made one fatal mistake:

You messed with my family.

You're making a mistake!

I'll give you anything-- money, fame, riches,

infinite power, your own galaxy!

Please! No!

What's happening to me?!

[Bill's voice fragments and distorts]

Staaanleeey!

Aaaaah!

[panting]

Heh. Guess I was good for something after all.

[clank]

[all grunt]

[wind howling]

[henchmaniacs cackling]

[roars, screams]

[all screaming]

[both] Oh...ohh!

[cries and whimpers]

[whooshing]

Huh?

-Whoa. -Huh.

[birds squawking]

[chirping]

[wind whistling]

Oh, my gosh!

Grunkle Stan, you did it!

Oh, uh, hey there... kiddo.

What's your name?

Grunkle Stan?

Heh. Who ya talkin' to?

C-Come on. It's me.

It's me, Grunkle Stan!

Grunkle Stan, it's me!

We had to erase his mind to defeat Bill.

It's all gone.

Stan has no idea, but he did it.

He saved the world.

He saved me.

You're our hero, Stanley. [sniffles]

[crying]

[Dipper grunting]

Hey, this is a real nice place ya got here.

It's your place, Grunkle Stan.

Don't you remember, even a little?

Nope, but this chair hugs my butt like it remembers.

Ah.

Hey, why the long faces?

You guys look like it's someone's funeral.

Who's that big guy crying in the corner?

[sobbing]

We saved the world, but what's the point?

Grunkle Stan's not himself anymore.

There's gotta be something we can do to jog his memory!

There isn't. I'm sorry. Stan's gone.

I know my Grunkle is in there somewhere!

There's gotta be something around here that can help bring him back!

This'll work! This has to work!

Here's the first day we came to Gravity Falls, Grunkle Stan.

And here's a macaroni interpretation of my emotions.

That time we went fishing.

That Summerween we spent together.

Don't you remember anything?

I'm sorry. I don't know what this is

or who you are or--gah!

Quit it, Waddles! I'm trying to remember my life story!

-[both gasp] -What did you say?

I said get Waddles off of me!

[soft gasp] It's working! Keep reading!

Skip to my page!

He needs to remember our boss-employee relationship.

Hey! Just cause I have amnesia,

don't go tryin' to give yourself a raise, Soos.

It's happening! Keep going!

OK. OK!

"Day Two. Grunkle Stan smells weird,

but we're starting to bond.

He told us a lot about being a businessman in the '80s,

and seemed happy when we pretended to listen.

He also gave me a grappling hook which everyone is impressed by.

And in more important news, I've met some neighborhood hotties!"

[all laugh]

[Shandra] Good Morning, Gravity Falls! It's another beautiful day.

But every day is beautiful now that the...

unpleasantness is over.

[glass squeaks]

-[bats screeching] -Git outta here, you ornery critters!

[roaring]

Ah, good as new.

Oh! Looks like you've got a friend!

Robbie, would you be a dear and get us the sawed-off shotgun?

Ugh. Fine, whatever.

Brains and so forth!

Nope! None of that, thank you.

[laughing]

None of us really understand what just happened,

and none of us want to.

That's why I'm passing the Never Mind All That Act.

If anyone goes asking around about the "events" of the last few days,

what do we say?

[crowd] Never Mind All That!

And if you break the rules, we're gonna zap ya!

Zap! Zap! We're mad with power!

[both] And love.

[Shandra] In other news, the Northwest family has gone broke.

After pledging his allegiance to Bill

and then placing all his savings in weirdness bonds,

Preston Northwest had to sell his mansion

to preserve his family fortune.

You're only going to have one pony now!

But fortunes have also turned for local maniac Fiddleford McGucket,

who, after regaining his sanity,

has made millions overnight submitting his patents

to the U.S. government.

I'm gonna buy me a bigger shed!

Hey, that one's for sale!

In other good news, town hero Stanley Pines

has fully recovered his memory, and will be throwing a party

to celebrate his niece and nephew's thirteenth birthday

and final day in town.

But other than that, I can safely say

our beloved Gravity Falls is back to normal.

And now, Bodacious T, with sports.

It's called Death Ball!

[all] ♪...to you ♪

[squeals]

[all cheering]

I can't believe you all got together just to throw a party for us!

After all the Pines family has done for the town,

it's the least we could do!

You've helped everyone here.

Thanks to y'all savin' us, I learned to open my heart to kindness.

No more evil-doin'.

From now on, I'm gonna try to be Li'l Gideon,

regular ol' kid.

Oh--Ha ha! Whoo!

I am bustin' a move on this skatin' board.

More like busting your pants, loser!

[obnoxious chuckle]

-[blows landing] -[boy screams]

Hee hee hee!

Dude, make a wish, dawg!

Ya know, on my first day here,

if you had asked me what I wanted, I would have said

adventure, mystery, true friends.

But looking here at all of you,

I realize that every wish came true.

I have everything I wanted.

If I had only one wish, it would be to shrink all of you

with a shrink ray and bring you home with us in my pocket.

But since that's impossible-- is that impossible?

Since that's probably impossible,

my only wish is for everyone to sign my scrapbook.

I'll never forget you guys.

Wait.

Now I'll never forget you guys!

[blowing]

I now officially declare you: technically teenagers.

Welcome to Angst and Acne Forever.

[all chant] One of us! One of us!

-Whoo-hoo! -Whoopee!

So how do you feel?

Samey, but different-y.

[Pacifica] Hey, you two.

When are you gonna open your presents already?

I broke a nail wrapping them.

-Ha ha! -Pacifica.

Stanley, I need to talk to you.

I didn't want to say anything with everyone listening,

but we've got a problem.

Weirdmageddon has been contained,

but I'm detecting some strange new anomalies near the Arctic Ocean.

I want to go investigate it, but I think I might be too old to go it alone.

Are you sayin' you need someone to help you

sail around the world on the adventure of a lifetime?

I don't just want someone to come with me, Stanley.

I want it to be you.

Will you give me a second chance?

You think we'll find treasure? And babes?

Ha! I'd say there's a high probability!

But what should we do with the Mystery Shack?

I think the town's had enough mystery for one lifetime.

Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

[Stan, Ford whispering]

[sharp gasp]

-[bell ringing] -[Stan] Everyone,

I have an announcement to make.

Me and my--heh!-- nerdy bro over here have some catchin' up to do.

We're gonna be away for a while.

That's why I'm shutting down the Mystery Shack for good!

[all gasp]

You shut down your mouth for good!

I'm sorry, Mr. Pineses,

it's just that this shack is the most magical place on earth.

Sure, the attractions are all fake, but dreams aren't fake.

Like this mermaid:

It's not just a dead fish butt sewn to a monkey carcass,

it's a marvelous creature

that makes us believe that anything is possible.

You shut down this shack, and you shut down our dreams!

At least... my dreams.

[all] Aw.

[sighs] I'm sorry, Soos,

it's just there's no one around to run it.

At least there wouldn't be

if I hadn't just found the perfect replacement.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the Mystery Shack is under new management!

[all cheer]

You...you mean it, Mister Mystery?

You're Mister Mystery now, Soos.

Try not to burn the place down.

I'll move in immediately.

[truck beeping]

[all cheering]

[birds chirping]

Do you really have to go?

There is still so much we haven't done together.

Summer's over, Candy.

It's time for us to grow up.

But not too much.

Aaah! I hate my dumb heart for making me feel things!

Cut. It. Out. Heart!

Hey, can you punch my heart too?

No, mine! Punch my feelings away!

Candy and Grenda,

thank you for being my people.

You'll always be my best friends.

Grunkle Stan, thanks for wearing my Goodbye sweater.

Ah, it's cold out. I had to.

What? But it's, like, 80-something degrees out today.

[both] Can it, Soos!

[all laugh]

Hey. You mean a lot to me, man.

You too.

Something to remember me by.

Oh, and this.

Read it the next time you miss Gravity Falls.

Last bus leaving Gravity Falls.

All aboard.

Guess we said goodbye to everyone except...

Waddles.

I...don't know how to explain this, but...

Mom and Dad won't let me bring a pig home to California, so...

you have to stay here!

[squeals]

Come on, come on!

I have to go.

I'm...I'm sorry, Waddles!

Aw, you know what? Forget it!

I lived with this pig all summer,

now your parents are gonna have to!

Hey, bus guy! This pig is coming with the kids!

Now, hold on a second.

Bringing animals aboard a moving vehicle is strictly prohibited by--

Wah-- W-Welcome aboard.

You can sit in the front row, pig.

Kids, you knuckleheads were nothin' but a nuisance,

and I'm glad to be rid of ya.

We'll miss you too, Grunkle Stan.

Ready to head into the unknown?

Nope.

Let's do it.

Bye-bye, kids! Travel safe!

-Don't forget to write! -[shouted farewells]

-Bye! Bye, everybody! -Bye! I'll miss you guys too!

[Soos] Bye, dudes! Bye!

[Dipper] If you've ever taken a road trip through the Pacific Northwest,

you've probably seen a bumper sticker for a place called Gravity Falls.

Well, I've moved in.

It's not on any maps,

and most people have never heard of it.

Some people think it's a myth.

But if you're curious, don't wait.

[all scream]

Take a trip.

[roaring]

Find it.

[both laughing]

It's out there somewhere in the woods... waiting.

[beat-driven music playing]

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Ohh, whoa ♪

[beat-driven music continues]

[song ends]

[eerie melody plays briefly]