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1
00:00:01,833 --> 00:00:04,535
♪
2
00:00:06,705 --> 00:00:11,241
Nice. And don't
forget bug spray.
3
00:00:11,243 --> 00:00:13,644
It's perfect for spraying
in the face of hitchhikers.
4
00:00:13,646 --> 00:00:15,479
Whoa! An RV, camping gear.
5
00:00:15,481 --> 00:00:17,648
Are you running
from the law again?
6
00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:20,651
Dude, it's the ultimate
Oregon road trip adventure.
7
00:00:20,653 --> 00:00:22,820
More like revenge trip.
8
00:00:22,822 --> 00:00:25,756
Every year, my tourist
trap competitors prank
the Mystery Shack.
9
00:00:25,758 --> 00:00:28,959
Last year, those hooligans
duct taped Soos to the ceiling.
10
00:00:28,961 --> 00:00:30,360
That was a fun
78 hours.
11
00:00:30,362 --> 00:00:32,730
Well, no more.
12
00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:35,432
This year, we're visiting
every tourist trap along
the Redwood Highway,
13
00:00:35,434 --> 00:00:37,968
and I'm gonna prank back
every single one.
14
00:00:37,970 --> 00:00:39,369
Bow-wow.
15
00:00:39,371 --> 00:00:41,572
Time to let
the Road Dawgs bark.
16
00:00:41,574 --> 00:00:44,308
That is us.
We are the Road Dawgs.
17
00:00:44,310 --> 00:00:46,243
Thanks for letting me bring
Candy and Grenda along
18
00:00:46,245 --> 00:00:47,978
for our road trip,
Grunkle Stan.
19
00:00:47,980 --> 00:00:49,379
The more, the merrier.
20
00:00:49,381 --> 00:00:51,982
Just sign these
non-disclosure agreements.
21
00:00:51,984 --> 00:00:54,318
None of your parents
are lawyers, right?
22
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:55,953
What do you say, dude?
You comin'?
23
00:00:55,955 --> 00:00:59,256
I already went to the trouble
of packing all your stuff.
24
00:00:59,258 --> 00:01:01,325
Even the stuff you kept in
that secret box under the bed.
25
00:01:01,327 --> 00:01:04,027
Whoa!
What the...
26
00:01:04,029 --> 00:01:06,029
What's that?
27
00:01:06,031 --> 00:01:07,598
Uh, nothing.
28
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,967
Just Wendy stuff,
from old times.
29
00:01:09,969 --> 00:01:11,502
[frustrated sigh]
30
00:01:11,504 --> 00:01:14,438
Bro, I thought you were
finally past all this.
31
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,039
I know, I know.
32
00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:17,608
I know she's
not interested,
33
00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:21,945
but how do you just turn off
the way you feel about someone?
34
00:01:21,947 --> 00:01:24,515
Two words, Dipper.
Move on.
35
00:01:24,517 --> 00:01:26,850
Yeah, dude, and a road trip's
the perfect place
36
00:01:26,852 --> 00:01:28,685
to meet new people.
37
00:02:20,839 --> 00:02:22,739
[panting]
38
00:02:22,741 --> 00:02:24,341
Man, RV's are amazing.
39
00:02:24,343 --> 00:02:26,410
I can't believe
we're sitting at a table
40
00:02:26,412 --> 00:02:28,378
in a moving vehicle.
41
00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:30,914
Ooh! Informational
travel pamphlets.
42
00:02:30,916 --> 00:02:33,917
I want to read them all
and gain their travel knowledge.
43
00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:36,920
Kid, those useless
pamphlets have never
helped a single person.
44
00:02:36,922 --> 00:02:39,690
The only wrinkly old
travel guide you'll need is me.
45
00:02:39,692 --> 00:02:41,091
Now look alive.
46
00:02:41,093 --> 00:02:43,093
We're coming up on
an attraction
47
00:02:43,095 --> 00:02:45,729
run by the most black-hearted
proprietor in all of Oregon.
48
00:02:48,533 --> 00:02:50,534
Don't let
the face fool you.
49
00:02:50,536 --> 00:02:51,902
This woman lit
my car on fire
50
00:02:51,904 --> 00:02:53,837
on two non-consecutive
occasions.
51
00:02:53,839 --> 00:02:55,572
[all] Whoa!
52
00:02:55,574 --> 00:02:57,507
I'm going in, girls.
53
00:02:57,509 --> 00:02:59,576
Whaaaa!
54
00:03:02,947 --> 00:03:04,781
Okay, like Soos said,
55
00:03:04,783 --> 00:03:06,817
meet new people.
56
00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:08,518
[clears throat]
57
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,421
So, uh, come here often?
58
00:03:11,423 --> 00:03:12,956
No. I'm a tourist.
59
00:03:12,958 --> 00:03:15,092
Ha ha, you're funny...
and cute.
60
00:03:15,094 --> 00:03:16,760
I mean, not cute.
61
00:03:16,762 --> 00:03:18,829
I mean, you're not
not cute.
62
00:03:18,831 --> 00:03:20,597
Whew, let me start over.
63
00:03:20,599 --> 00:03:22,499
My name is Dopper.
64
00:03:23,935 --> 00:03:25,135
[sighs]
65
00:03:25,137 --> 00:03:27,170
[Grunkle Stan]
Dipper, hop to.
66
00:03:27,172 --> 00:03:29,673
This ball of yarnain't gonna prank itself.
67
00:03:34,479 --> 00:03:36,013
[sighs]
68
00:03:36,015 --> 00:03:37,948
Something on
your mind, kiddo?
69
00:03:37,950 --> 00:03:40,517
Thinkin' about
Miss Cold Shoulder
over there, huh?
70
00:03:40,519 --> 00:03:42,519
Ah, so embarrassed.
71
00:03:42,521 --> 00:03:45,489
Look, earlier this summer,
I ruined my chances with Wendy.
72
00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:47,758
Yeah. Chances.
73
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,194
And I wanna move on,
but I'm terrible at
talking to girls.
74
00:03:51,196 --> 00:03:53,430
The moment I open
my mouth around them,
75
00:03:53,432 --> 00:03:55,465
I unravel like...
like...
76
00:03:55,467 --> 00:03:58,468
well, I can't think of
a perfect metaphor,
but you get the gist.
77
00:03:58,470 --> 00:03:59,803
At this rate,
I'm gonna grow up
78
00:03:59,805 --> 00:04:02,773
to be a sad loner
like Toby Determined.
79
00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:05,709
Whoa, never say that
about yourself.
80
00:04:05,711 --> 00:04:07,911
Lucky for you,
I'm an expert on women.
81
00:04:07,913 --> 00:04:09,513
Listen to me, kid.
82
00:04:09,515 --> 00:04:11,448
When it comes to girls,
always be confident,
83
00:04:11,450 --> 00:04:13,050
and be funny,
but not too funny.
84
00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:15,752
And be kind of annoying,
but in a loveable way.
85
00:04:15,754 --> 00:04:18,488
I don't know, Grunkle Stan.
This sounds kinda jerky.
86
00:04:18,490 --> 00:04:21,558
Hey, "jerky" is just
a term non-jerks use
87
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,627
to bad-mouth
innocent jerks.
88
00:04:23,629 --> 00:04:26,630
Confidence, comedy,
some third word
starting with a "C."
89
00:04:26,632 --> 00:04:29,499
The three C's of
the Stan Pines
Dating Technique.
90
00:04:29,501 --> 00:04:31,835
At the next tourist trap,
try out my advice
91
00:04:31,837 --> 00:04:33,203
on the first girl
you see.
92
00:04:33,205 --> 00:04:36,073
Cool.
Grunkle Stan, thanks.
93
00:04:36,075 --> 00:04:37,741
Hey, I'm full of
good ideas.
94
00:04:37,743 --> 00:04:39,242
Speakin' of which,
95
00:04:39,244 --> 00:04:40,978
everyone, now!
96
00:04:47,986 --> 00:04:51,254
Why, you gol-darned
son of a no-good!
97
00:04:54,525 --> 00:04:56,860
I'll get you,
Stan Pines!
98
00:05:00,698 --> 00:05:02,899
Ah, Upside-down Town.
99
00:05:02,901 --> 00:05:04,534
The nausea capital
of the state.
100
00:05:04,536 --> 00:05:07,070
Whatever you do,
don't use the bathrooms.
101
00:05:07,072 --> 00:05:09,272
[all] Road Dawgs!
102
00:05:09,274 --> 00:05:10,774
[barking]
103
00:05:15,246 --> 00:05:17,514
- Whoa!
- So weird.
104
00:05:26,124 --> 00:05:27,858
[Grunkle Stan] All right, kid,this is it.
105
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:30,027
Be confident.
106
00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:31,628
[clears throat]
Hi. I'm Dipper.
107
00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:33,296
Crazy place, right?
108
00:05:33,298 --> 00:05:35,232
Oh, hi.
I'm Emma Sue.
109
00:05:35,234 --> 00:05:37,134
If you pretend
we're right-side up,
110
00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:39,603
it looks like everyone's
hair is standing on end.
111
00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:41,138
Huh, yeah.
Weird, right?
112
00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:42,773
Pretend you're screaming.
113
00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:45,075
Okay. You gotta take
a picture of me, though.
114
00:05:45,077 --> 00:05:46,643
[screaming]
115
00:05:46,645 --> 00:05:48,545
Let's see... whoa!
116
00:05:48,547 --> 00:05:50,147
Ho ho, just kidding.
117
00:05:50,149 --> 00:05:52,115
You are the worst.
118
00:05:52,117 --> 00:05:53,250
You bet I am.
119
00:05:53,252 --> 00:05:54,785
I'm bad, Emma.
120
00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:56,119
Kind of a jerk.
121
00:05:56,121 --> 00:05:57,621
Emma, come on.
We have to get to Canada
122
00:05:57,623 --> 00:05:59,089
before your mother
gives birth.
123
00:05:59,091 --> 00:06:00,957
It's a long story.
124
00:06:00,959 --> 00:06:03,060
Maybe you could
tell me sometime.
125
00:06:03,062 --> 00:06:04,628
Here's my email address.
126
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:06,763
Write me and I'll
tell you all about it.
127
00:06:08,132 --> 00:06:10,100
A girl gave me
her email,
128
00:06:10,102 --> 00:06:11,334
and it wasn't
out of pity.
129
00:06:11,336 --> 00:06:13,703
Ha ha, yes!
130
00:06:13,705 --> 00:06:15,939
Ugh! I'm okay.
131
00:06:15,941 --> 00:06:17,641
I'm better than okay.
132
00:06:17,643 --> 00:06:19,342
Mabel, hi.
There's my Grenda.
133
00:06:19,344 --> 00:06:20,977
Candy, looking great,
looking great.
134
00:06:20,979 --> 00:06:24,147
Is that a new
pair of glasses?
Very shiny.
135
00:06:24,149 --> 00:06:26,016
[laughing]
Whoo!
136
00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:28,185
Maybe it's the blood
pooling in my head,
137
00:06:28,187 --> 00:06:30,320
but Dipper
seems different.
138
00:06:30,322 --> 00:06:31,655
[groans]
139
00:06:31,657 --> 00:06:33,623
Yes, good different.
140
00:06:33,625 --> 00:06:35,225
[Grunkle Stan]
Now, Soos.
141
00:06:43,267 --> 00:06:45,302
Not too upside-down now.
142
00:06:45,304 --> 00:06:48,371
What a lovely
normal home.
143
00:06:48,373 --> 00:06:50,607
Stan Pines!
144
00:06:52,310 --> 00:06:54,211
I can't believe
it worked.
145
00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:56,012
What do I do now?
Do I email her?
146
00:06:56,014 --> 00:06:57,948
No, no, you practice.
147
00:06:57,950 --> 00:07:00,283
The more girls you talk to,
the better you get at it.
148
00:07:00,285 --> 00:07:03,153
Grunkle Stan,
these tips are priceless.
149
00:07:03,155 --> 00:07:05,755
And that's just
the tip of the advice-berg.
150
00:07:24,075 --> 00:07:26,643
- Everyone on board?
- Probably.
151
00:07:29,947 --> 00:07:31,748
Guys? Hello?
152
00:07:31,750 --> 00:07:33,383
Anyone?
153
00:07:33,385 --> 00:07:35,685
They'll come back for me.
154
00:07:36,787 --> 00:07:39,422
So then I said
to the bouncer,
155
00:07:39,424 --> 00:07:41,358
"Where's your ID, ugly?"
156
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:42,993
That's where I got
this scar.
157
00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:45,328
[giggling] Grunkle Stan,
I gotta say,
158
00:07:45,330 --> 00:07:46,897
this was one of
the best days ever.
159
00:07:46,899 --> 00:07:49,733
Look!
160
00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:51,668
That's the Stan Pines
method, kid.
161
00:07:51,670 --> 00:07:52,936
Works every time.
162
00:07:52,938 --> 00:07:55,705
I'm just a little worried,
though.
163
00:07:55,707 --> 00:07:58,375
I mean, is it bad to flirt with
this many girls at once?
164
00:07:58,377 --> 00:08:00,744
I'm just trying
to get over Wendy.
165
00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:02,379
I don't wanna hurt
anyone's feelings.
166
00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:03,780
Please. That's
the best part
167
00:08:03,782 --> 00:08:05,315
of flirting on
a road trip.
168
00:08:05,317 --> 00:08:07,284
You're not gonna see
any of these gals again.
169
00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:09,152
To moving on.
170
00:08:09,154 --> 00:08:10,720
[both laughing]
171
00:08:12,690 --> 00:08:14,191
Okay, it's time for...
172
00:08:14,193 --> 00:08:16,226
[both]
Truth or dare or don't!
173
00:08:16,228 --> 00:08:18,395
I choose don't.
174
00:08:18,397 --> 00:08:20,230
You always choose don't.
175
00:08:20,232 --> 00:08:21,965
Fine. Uh... truth.
176
00:08:21,967 --> 00:08:25,802
Do you like someone?
177
00:08:25,804 --> 00:08:30,273
[Grenda] Uh-oh.
Someone's blushing.
178
00:08:30,275 --> 00:08:32,342
Okay, maybe just a little.
179
00:08:32,344 --> 00:08:34,778
I don't know for sure.
It just started.
180
00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:36,479
Tell us, tell us!
181
00:08:36,481 --> 00:08:38,481
Okay. It begins
with a "D,"
182
00:08:38,483 --> 00:08:40,717
and ends with
an "ipper."
183
00:08:40,719 --> 00:08:43,186
- No.
- Yes.
184
00:08:43,188 --> 00:08:44,454
[shuddering]
185
00:08:44,456 --> 00:08:48,124
Ready, Grenda?
Three, two, one.
186
00:08:48,126 --> 00:08:50,961
[both shrieking loudly]
187
00:08:50,963 --> 00:08:53,496
Man, coyotes sound
a lot worse than I remember.
188
00:08:56,434 --> 00:08:59,135
Candy, Candy, all my life dreams
are coming true right now.
189
00:08:59,137 --> 00:09:01,504
My brother, my best friend.
190
00:09:01,506 --> 00:09:02,839
I can't breathe!
191
00:09:02,841 --> 00:09:05,875
I'm so excited,
I can't breathe!
192
00:09:05,877 --> 00:09:07,510
I never really
noticed him before,
193
00:09:07,512 --> 00:09:09,813
but he seems
deeper lately,
194
00:09:09,815 --> 00:09:12,148
less sweaty
and more charming.
195
00:09:12,150 --> 00:09:14,050
But how do I
approach him?
196
00:09:14,052 --> 00:09:16,820
Don't even worry
about that, Can-Can.
197
00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:18,822
Mabel's got a plan.
198
00:09:20,758 --> 00:09:22,826
[muffled]
Mabel's got a plan.
199
00:09:24,462 --> 00:09:26,830
All right, campers,
we got another day
200
00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:28,298
of breakin' laws
and breakin' hearts.
201
00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:30,467
Everything up until now
has been a walk in the park
202
00:09:30,469 --> 00:09:32,135
compared to our
next attraction.
203
00:09:32,137 --> 00:09:34,537
Is it a walk in
the world's biggest park?
204
00:09:34,539 --> 00:09:36,539
Sort of.
There she is, kids.
205
00:09:36,541 --> 00:09:38,775
Mystery Mountain.
206
00:09:40,077 --> 00:09:42,379
Five times the size
of the Mystery Shack,
207
00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:44,914
and what's worse,
she has real attractions.
208
00:09:44,916 --> 00:09:46,816
Oh, I have read
about this place.
209
00:09:46,818 --> 00:09:49,819
It has sky tram,
and a mummy museum,
210
00:09:49,821 --> 00:09:53,490
and sightings of half-human,
half-spider creatures.
211
00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:56,493
Even their made-up legends
are better than ours.
212
00:09:56,495 --> 00:09:59,229
Today, the mountain falls.
213
00:10:00,831 --> 00:10:02,999
Question: the backseat
makes me carsick.
214
00:10:03,001 --> 00:10:04,534
Can I sit up front today?
215
00:10:04,536 --> 00:10:07,203
Also a question:
I'm the size of two people.
216
00:10:07,205 --> 00:10:09,306
Can I have a whole seat
to myself?
217
00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:10,507
I don't know. Sure.
218
00:10:10,509 --> 00:10:11,908
Ooh, change-up!
219
00:10:13,811 --> 00:10:16,346
[grunts] Wait, that means
it'll be just me and...
220
00:10:16,348 --> 00:10:18,248
Candy Chu.
Sixth grade.
221
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:19,983
Oh! Hey.
222
00:10:24,922 --> 00:10:26,823
You're sitting close.
223
00:10:26,825 --> 00:10:28,992
[giggling]
224
00:10:28,994 --> 00:10:31,328
So Dipper,
I was wondering,
225
00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:33,296
would you maybe
want to walk around
226
00:10:33,298 --> 00:10:35,465
the Mystery Mountain
with me today?
227
00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:37,067
Sure. I mean...
228
00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:38,535
wasn't that already
the plan?
229
00:10:38,537 --> 00:10:40,837
I mean, just us.
230
00:10:40,839 --> 00:10:43,106
You and me.
Candy and Dipper.
231
00:10:50,581 --> 00:10:52,582
All right, Road Dawgs,
I got five bucks
232
00:10:52,584 --> 00:10:55,151
for whoever can tip
the big blue ox.
233
00:10:55,153 --> 00:10:56,853
Go, go, go.
234
00:10:56,855 --> 00:10:58,555
I will see you
in there.
235
00:10:58,557 --> 00:11:00,256
[nervous giggle]
236
00:11:00,258 --> 00:11:02,425
Hey, what's with
the mopey mug, kid?
237
00:11:02,427 --> 00:11:04,561
Stan, you gotta help me.
238
00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:06,396
Everything you taught me
worked too well.
239
00:11:06,398 --> 00:11:08,298
I think Candy just
asked me out on a date.
240
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,867
Hey, look at
this little champion.
241
00:11:10,869 --> 00:11:12,569
What? No. I mean...
242
00:11:12,571 --> 00:11:14,904
Candy's great, she's sweet,
and she's smart,
243
00:11:14,906 --> 00:11:17,574
but I never thought
of her like that.
244
00:11:17,576 --> 00:11:19,909
This is all moving
way too fast.
245
00:11:19,911 --> 00:11:21,411
[hyperventilating]
246
00:11:21,413 --> 00:11:23,580
Okay, I just need to be
honest with her,
247
00:11:23,582 --> 00:11:26,216
and tell her I'm not
ready for all this.
248
00:11:26,218 --> 00:11:29,152
[laughs] Don't you see
what's happening here?
249
00:11:29,154 --> 00:11:31,087
That's your dumb obsession
with Wendy gettin' in the way
250
00:11:31,089 --> 00:11:33,556
of your future.
If you wanna move on,
251
00:11:33,558 --> 00:11:35,592
you gotta say yes to
whatever comes your way.
252
00:11:35,594 --> 00:11:37,660
Speaking of which...
253
00:11:39,897 --> 00:11:41,931
But I don't wanna
lead her on.
254
00:11:41,933 --> 00:11:44,067
Uh-uh-uh,
watch and learn.
255
00:11:44,069 --> 00:11:46,936
Whoa, I seem to have
lost my number.
256
00:11:46,938 --> 00:11:48,638
Can I borrow yours?
257
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,974
[laughs]
You are a riot.
258
00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:53,076
What brings you here?
259
00:11:53,078 --> 00:11:56,246
We don't normally get
men this handsome
round these parts.
260
00:11:56,248 --> 00:11:59,082
Well, Darlene,
261
00:11:59,084 --> 00:12:02,318
between you and me,
what I'm doin' here
is a little secret.
262
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:05,555
Oh, you seem like
a man with secrets.
263
00:12:05,557 --> 00:12:07,056
[both chuckling]
264
00:12:07,058 --> 00:12:08,625
Ugh!
265
00:12:08,627 --> 00:12:10,326
You know, I'm going
on a break.
266
00:12:10,328 --> 00:12:13,430
You wanna take the sky tram
up to Widow's Peak?
267
00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:17,934
Take my advice or don't,
but clearly, I know
what I'm doing.
268
00:12:17,936 --> 00:12:20,003
Oh, fancy.
269
00:12:27,178 --> 00:12:29,312
Oh, I can't believe
this is happening.
270
00:12:29,314 --> 00:12:31,114
A real date.
271
00:12:31,116 --> 00:12:32,649
I wonder what
they'll name the baby.
272
00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:34,451
If I had a baby,
I would name it
273
00:12:34,453 --> 00:12:37,487
Grenda 2: The Sequel.
274
00:12:37,489 --> 00:12:40,223
You would make
such a good mother.
275
00:12:41,725 --> 00:12:43,993
This place is
so enchanting.
276
00:12:43,995 --> 00:12:45,295
Sort of confused
by the phrase
277
00:12:45,297 --> 00:12:47,096
"new mummies daily"
though.
278
00:12:47,098 --> 00:12:48,431
I mean, how does
that even work?
279
00:12:48,433 --> 00:12:50,667
This mountain's
full of mysteries.
280
00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:53,736
Like why is my head
falling on your shoulder?
281
00:12:53,738 --> 00:12:55,672
Beeoop.
282
00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:58,107
Uh, yep, this is
what I want.
283
00:12:58,109 --> 00:13:00,477
This is all
part of the plan
and stuff.
284
00:13:00,479 --> 00:13:02,111
Oh, Dipper, hey.
285
00:13:02,113 --> 00:13:03,680
[gasps]
Corn maze girl.
286
00:13:03,682 --> 00:13:06,182
I was wondering
when you'd call.
287
00:13:06,184 --> 00:13:07,684
Dipper, who is this?
288
00:13:07,686 --> 00:13:09,452
Nobody. I mean, uh...
somebody, but...
289
00:13:09,454 --> 00:13:11,421
Dipper!
290
00:13:11,423 --> 00:13:13,990
I didn't recognize
you right-side up.
291
00:13:13,992 --> 00:13:15,758
You'll never guess
where my mom gave birth.
292
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,594
Hey, who are
these girls?
293
00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:19,562
Dipper, why haven't
you called?
294
00:13:19,564 --> 00:13:22,065
Did our romantic log ride
mean nothing to you?
295
00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:23,566
I can't believe it.
296
00:13:23,568 --> 00:13:25,435
You agreed to go on
a date with me,
297
00:13:25,437 --> 00:13:27,437
and you are seeing
all these other girls?
298
00:13:27,439 --> 00:13:29,706
Well, answer us.
Which one of us
do you like?
299
00:13:29,708 --> 00:13:32,008
I... I like all of you.
300
00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:33,409
I mean, I don't like
any of you.
301
00:13:33,411 --> 00:13:35,044
I mean...
302
00:13:35,046 --> 00:13:36,579
I was trying to learn
how to talk to girls.
303
00:13:36,581 --> 00:13:38,081
[nervous chuckle]
304
00:13:38,083 --> 00:13:40,049
- Unbelievable.
- So gross.
305
00:13:40,051 --> 00:13:41,518
What a jerk.
306
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:45,021
Dipper Pines, I thought
you were a nice guy,
307
00:13:45,023 --> 00:13:47,156
but I guess you only
care about yourself.
308
00:13:48,692 --> 00:13:51,394
Uh, Candy, wait.
309
00:13:51,396 --> 00:13:53,196
I messed everything up.
310
00:13:53,198 --> 00:13:55,732
I gotta find Stan.
He'll know what to do.
311
00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:58,067
Oh, are you sure
you wanna go
312
00:13:58,069 --> 00:14:00,537
this deep
into the forest?
313
00:14:00,539 --> 00:14:01,771
It's so scary.
314
00:14:01,773 --> 00:14:03,239
Don't worry, toots.
315
00:14:03,241 --> 00:14:05,742
That spider people stuff
is just an urban legend.
316
00:14:05,744 --> 00:14:07,810
I can't believe
people fall for it.
317
00:14:07,812 --> 00:14:09,579
You're so brave.
318
00:14:09,581 --> 00:14:11,748
What can I say?
I'm a real catch.
319
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,516
Yes.
320
00:14:13,518 --> 00:14:15,418
[distorted voice]
The catch of the day.
321
00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:18,154
Uh, I think your contacts
fell out.
322
00:14:18,156 --> 00:14:21,257
[Stan screaming]
323
00:14:21,259 --> 00:14:24,327
[panting]
Uh, have you seen
an old guy around here?
324
00:14:24,329 --> 00:14:26,496
Big ears, orange nose,
a real know-it-all.
325
00:14:28,332 --> 00:14:30,633
Uh-uh-uh.
Flame retardant raccoon says,
326
00:14:30,635 --> 00:14:33,102
don't hug forest fires.
327
00:14:33,104 --> 00:14:35,438
[frustrated groan]
328
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:38,174
Stan, where are you?
I need your advice.
329
00:14:38,176 --> 00:14:40,610
- [static]
- Grunkle Stan?
330
00:14:40,612 --> 00:14:42,579
Hey, buddy boy.
331
00:14:42,581 --> 00:14:44,747
Remember how we weretalkin' about my technique?
332
00:14:44,749 --> 00:14:47,483
Well, sometimes it leadsto unexpected consequences.
333
00:14:47,485 --> 00:14:49,419
Yeah, you can say that again.
Where are you?
334
00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:51,287
The good news is,I've solved the mystery
335
00:14:51,289 --> 00:14:52,689
of where Oregon'smummies come from.
336
00:14:52,691 --> 00:14:54,157
The bad news is,
337
00:14:54,159 --> 00:14:56,192
I'm about to become one.
338
00:14:56,194 --> 00:14:58,828
Turns out Darlene is
one of those spider people.
339
00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:00,830
But beyond that,
the date's been okay.
340
00:15:04,602 --> 00:15:06,336
Wait, wait, wait.
Darlene's a spider person?
341
00:15:06,338 --> 00:15:07,870
How is that possible?
342
00:15:07,872 --> 00:15:09,472
I don't know.
343
00:15:09,474 --> 00:15:11,207
One minute, we're having
a perfect date,
344
00:15:11,209 --> 00:15:13,343
and the next minute,
she's growing extra legs
345
00:15:13,345 --> 00:15:15,545
and encasing me in webbing.
Women, right?
346
00:15:15,547 --> 00:15:17,480
You couldn't tell
she was a spider?!
347
00:15:17,482 --> 00:15:19,549
I was blinded by flattery.
348
00:15:19,551 --> 00:15:21,851
Also this acid
she spit in my face.
349
00:15:21,853 --> 00:15:23,553
I'm up the mountain
at Widow's Peak.
350
00:15:23,555 --> 00:15:26,122
All right, I'm gonna
find you. Stay put!
351
00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:29,659
You got it.
352
00:15:29,661 --> 00:15:32,762
Uh-uh. Trying to escape?
353
00:15:33,864 --> 00:15:35,732
You tricked me.
354
00:15:35,734 --> 00:15:38,468
I'm 80% certain
you don't really
love me at all.
355
00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:41,204
Ha! Men will fall
for anything.
356
00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:43,373
"You're so funny.
Great story.
357
00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:46,309
I love a man
with shoulder hair."
358
00:15:46,311 --> 00:15:49,345
You... you didn't mean it
about my shoulder hair?
359
00:15:49,347 --> 00:15:51,481
Tell me, Stan,
before I transformed,
360
00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:53,850
who'd you think
was in charge?
361
00:15:53,852 --> 00:15:57,854
You, with your cheesy lines
and fake confidence?
362
00:15:57,856 --> 00:16:00,390
I'm the master pick-up
artist here.
363
00:16:00,392 --> 00:16:02,225
Sorry, toots.
364
00:16:02,227 --> 00:16:04,927
This time, you're getting
used for your body,
365
00:16:04,929 --> 00:16:07,764
which, to my weird species,
is food.
366
00:16:07,766 --> 00:16:10,800
Allow me to slip into
something more horrifying.
367
00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:16,539
I wonder what beverage
pairs well
368
00:16:16,541 --> 00:16:19,242
with a vintage
70-something-year-old man.
369
00:16:19,244 --> 00:16:20,877
Be right back.
370
00:16:20,879 --> 00:16:24,580
Come on, Dipper,
where are you?
371
00:16:24,582 --> 00:16:26,716
I feel like
such a fool.
372
00:16:26,718 --> 00:16:29,619
I should have known
to guard my heart
in a cage of ice.
373
00:16:29,621 --> 00:16:33,556
[loudly] There, there.
Let my calming voice
soothe you.
374
00:16:33,558 --> 00:16:35,191
It is helping.
375
00:16:35,193 --> 00:16:36,726
Girls, there you are.
376
00:16:36,728 --> 00:16:39,762
- Betrayer!
- Oh, you. What do you want?
377
00:16:39,764 --> 00:16:43,299
- I need your help.
- With what, some sick
jealousy trip?
378
00:16:43,301 --> 00:16:45,635
- Yes, sing it, Candy!
- Testify!
379
00:16:45,637 --> 00:16:47,770
Look, I'm so sorry
about everything,
380
00:16:47,772 --> 00:16:49,305
but Stan's in trouble.
381
00:16:49,307 --> 00:16:50,807
You can totally
kill me later,
382
00:16:50,809 --> 00:16:52,475
but right now,
he needs us.
383
00:16:52,477 --> 00:16:54,444
I'll explain
on the way.
384
00:16:59,316 --> 00:17:01,417
[humming]
385
00:17:01,419 --> 00:17:03,786
Please. I don't know if
you're really up there or not,
386
00:17:03,788 --> 00:17:06,956
but if you are, please
save me, Paul Bunyan.
387
00:17:06,958 --> 00:17:08,791
[Grenda] Mr. Pines!
388
00:17:08,793 --> 00:17:10,727
Whoa, did that
really work?
389
00:17:14,298 --> 00:17:16,899
Quick, before the rest
of the venom sets in.
390
00:17:19,002 --> 00:17:21,404
No! Where are you?
391
00:17:23,006 --> 00:17:25,308
The sky tram,
everybody on.
392
00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:26,609
I have a plan.
393
00:17:26,611 --> 00:17:29,445
- [Mabel] Ha ha, yeah!
- [Grenda] Perfect.
394
00:17:29,447 --> 00:17:31,748
Ride like the wind,
sky tram.
395
00:17:34,284 --> 00:17:35,952
[man] Welcome to Trambience,
396
00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:37,854
the world's lowesttreetop tram ride.
397
00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:41,557
Enjoy the sightsat 0.1 miles per hour.
398
00:17:41,559 --> 00:17:43,392
[screaming]
Move, move, move!
399
00:17:43,394 --> 00:17:45,661
Can't this thing
go any faster?
400
00:17:45,663 --> 00:17:47,930
No, it can't.This is Trambience.
401
00:17:57,474 --> 00:17:59,709
Enjoying the view?Take a picture.
402
00:17:59,711 --> 00:18:01,844
[all screaming]
403
00:18:05,449 --> 00:18:06,749
We're doomed!
404
00:18:06,751 --> 00:18:08,284
We're all gonna die!
405
00:18:09,787 --> 00:18:11,554
Listen carefully.
406
00:18:11,556 --> 00:18:14,056
This sky tram has
an emergency drop switch.
407
00:18:14,058 --> 00:18:17,059
Below us is Oregon's
largest Paul Bunyan statue.
408
00:18:17,061 --> 00:18:21,030
And Old Reliable goes off
in five, four...
409
00:18:21,032 --> 00:18:23,065
- Candy, wait!
Don't pull that lever.
- [counting continues]
410
00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:24,367
Kid, are you crazy?
411
00:18:24,369 --> 00:18:25,968
Now!
412
00:18:46,857 --> 00:18:50,459
My only weakness,
a giant boot.
413
00:18:50,461 --> 00:18:53,062
A giant newspaper
or a giant cup
414
00:18:56,333 --> 00:18:58,334
Thank you for ridingTrambience sky tram.
415
00:18:58,336 --> 00:19:01,003
Tell your friendsit was a boring, boring ride.
416
00:19:01,005 --> 00:19:02,538
Kid, that was ingenious!
417
00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:04,106
How'd you know
that would work?
418
00:19:04,108 --> 00:19:07,343
Useless travel pamphlets.
419
00:19:07,345 --> 00:19:09,645
[Darlene] Stanley.
420
00:19:11,114 --> 00:19:13,950
I'm sorry. I don't know
what came over me.
421
00:19:13,952 --> 00:19:16,385
You'll let me out, right?
422
00:19:16,387 --> 00:19:17,753
What? After all that?
423
00:19:17,755 --> 00:19:20,089
Seriously, do I look like
an amnesiac?
424
00:19:20,091 --> 00:19:23,860
[laughs]
You're so funny.
425
00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:26,128
Have you ever considered
becoming a comedian?
426
00:19:26,130 --> 00:19:28,965
You know, I actually have.
427
00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:31,434
Comedy is too subtle
these days.
428
00:19:31,436 --> 00:19:33,970
My style involves
more over-sized props.
429
00:19:33,972 --> 00:19:36,138
- Let me get you out--
- [all] No!
430
00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:37,907
Oh, yeah, right.
431
00:19:37,909 --> 00:19:41,077
You win this round, Stan,
but mark my words.
432
00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:43,145
As long as there's
men like you out there,
433
00:19:43,147 --> 00:19:45,114
with their dumb
one-liners,
434
00:19:45,116 --> 00:19:47,817
and pick-up moves,
I'll never run out of prey.
435
00:19:47,819 --> 00:19:51,420
[screams] Get in
the car, get in the car!
436
00:20:01,865 --> 00:20:04,667
[sighs]
437
00:20:06,937 --> 00:20:09,939
All right, kid,
I gotta admit something.
438
00:20:09,941 --> 00:20:11,841
I'm no expert on women.
439
00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:13,843
Truth is, I've been
divorced once,
440
00:20:13,845 --> 00:20:15,678
and slapped more times
than I can remember.
441
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,513
Confidence can
buy you a lot,
442
00:20:17,515 --> 00:20:19,181
but at the end of the day,
443
00:20:19,183 --> 00:20:21,450
pick-up artists tend
to get our heads bitten off.
444
00:20:21,452 --> 00:20:23,152
When it comes to women,
I'm a failure.
445
00:20:23,154 --> 00:20:25,755
Hey, we're both failures.
446
00:20:26,990 --> 00:20:29,926
You know, even if
your dating tips were bad,
447
00:20:29,928 --> 00:20:32,828
I actually haven't
thought about Wendy all day.
448
00:20:32,830 --> 00:20:35,031
Plus, you did teach me
to be more confident.
449
00:20:35,033 --> 00:20:37,033
I guess I just need
to learn to use
450
00:20:37,035 --> 00:20:39,068
that power for good.
451
00:20:40,837 --> 00:20:43,906
Hey, I found a pamphlet
I don't think you've read yet.
452
00:20:48,912 --> 00:20:50,146
It's okay, Dipper.
453
00:20:50,148 --> 00:20:53,449
The open road makes
people do crazy things.
454
00:20:53,451 --> 00:20:56,218
Plus, after seeing you
flee the spider like a baby,
455
00:20:56,220 --> 00:20:58,154
I kinda lost interest.
456
00:20:58,156 --> 00:21:00,990
Yep, yep.
I deserve that.
457
00:21:02,526 --> 00:21:04,794
[all cheering]
458
00:21:04,796 --> 00:21:06,562
I still feel
a little bad
459
00:21:06,564 --> 00:21:08,030
about wrecking
those tourist traps.
460
00:21:08,032 --> 00:21:09,932
Ah, come on.
Everyone loves my pranks.
461
00:21:09,934 --> 00:21:11,834
And the best part is,
I never have to face
462
00:21:11,836 --> 00:21:13,936
any consequences...
Sweet lord!
463
00:21:15,539 --> 00:21:17,473
Ah, come on!
464
00:21:21,244 --> 00:21:24,547
That's what you get.
That's what you get!
465
00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:27,249
[laughing]
466
00:21:27,251 --> 00:21:28,851
I don't understand.
467
00:21:28,853 --> 00:21:31,554
I completely
don't deserve this.
468
00:21:31,556 --> 00:21:33,556
Oh, man, are we gonna
have to help clean this up?
469
00:21:33,558 --> 00:21:35,825
Nah, I'm sure
Soos will take care of it.
470
00:21:35,827 --> 00:21:37,893
Where is Soos anyway?
471
00:21:42,232 --> 00:21:45,568
Okay, Soos, remember
what your grandma taught you.
472
00:21:45,570 --> 00:21:47,703
When you get lost,
stay exactly where you are,
473
00:21:47,705 --> 00:21:50,573
and don't move.
474
00:21:54,077 --> 00:21:56,545
Don't move.
475
00:22:00,517 --> 00:22:02,218
[crows cawing]
476
00:22:02,220 --> 00:22:04,820
You know, I would make
a really good scarecrow.
31851
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