Original subtitles

Oh, it's happening!

It's finally,

finally happening.

Physical form?

Don't mind if I do!

Oh! What just happened?

Oh! Oh, man.

This is bad.

This is real bad.

Guys, we've got

a situation.

All right, listen up,

you one-life-spanned,

three-dimensional,

five-sensed

skin puppets.

For a trillion years,

I've been trapped

in my own decaying

dimension,

waiting for a new universe

to call my own.

Name's Bill, but you

can call me

your new lord and master

for all eternity.

Now meet the gang of

interdimensional criminals

and nightmares

I call my friends.

8 Ball,

Kryptos,

The Being Whose Name

Must Never Be Said.

Ah, what the heck.

It's Zanthar.

Then of course,

there's also Teeth,

Keyhole, Hectorgon,

Amorphous Shape,

Aronica Pacifier and these guys.

This is our town

now, boys.

Now see here,

you unholy triangle fella.

As mayor, I strongly urge you

to get on outta here.

Yeah. Things with

one eye are weird.

We don't like

out-of-towners.

We punch what

we don't understand.

I would just like to say

that as a rich capitalist,

I welcome your

tyrannical rule.

Perhaps I can be

one of your, uh,

horsemen of

the apocalypse.

Dad!

Not now, sweetie.

The grownups are talking.

Oh, wow,

that's a great offer.

How about instead,

I shuffle the functions

of every hole

in your face?

Durland!

My precious Deputy Durland!

It's time we do

a little redecorating.

I could really use

a castle of some kind.

And how about some bubbles

of pure madness?

This party never stops.

Time is dead,

and meaning has no meaning.

Existence

is upside down,

and I reign supreme.

Welcome, one and all,

to Weirdmageddon.

So this is how

the world ends.

Not with a bang,

but with a... cuckoo.

- Weirdmageddon.

Move it, stretch!

Hey, we're

scampering here.

The rift is shattered.

Bill's world

is spilling into ours.

Every minute,

his powers grow stronger.

Mabel... the rift must have

cracked inside her backpack.

She must be in danger.

I have to go find her.

Mabel. Come in, Mabel.

Mabel!

Dipper, listen to me.

We can find

your sister soon,

but first, we have

to stop Bill.

If we can blast him back

through the rip he came out of,

we just might

be able to stop him

before his weirdness

spreads across the entire globe.

Are you sure defeating Bill

is even possible?

No, I'm not sure.

But being a hero

means fighting back

even when it seems

impossible.

- Will you follow me?

- To the ends of the earth.

Good, because

that's where we're heading.

You also might

want to step inside.

Weirdness wave!

Ah! Abuelita,

a tidal wave of madness

just went over us.

Oh, Soos,

such an imagination.

Ah!

You turned into

a chair!

Why don't you have

a seat and relax?

What about you,

and my friends?

I'll be fine.

You go help the others.

When the universe

is broken,

only one handyman

can fix it.

I'm coming for you,

friends.

Time for a nap.

Hey!

That's it, goat.

It's time I threw you

off this property for good!

On second thought,

I'm gonna run like a coward now.

Freedom, freedom!

Okay, inmates,

it's time to review

your finger paintings.

Good. Nice.

Gideon, does this look like

someone who's ready

to re-enter society?

Gideon's unappreciated

in his time.

Oh, Ghost Eyes,

you're making me blush.

Gideon makes prison

life worth living.

Gideon, Gideon...

Oh, my,

Bill came through.

Ready to cause

some havoc, boys?

Ah, my quantum

destabilizer.

Been waiting a long time

to use this.

We're only gonna have

one chance to take this shot.

Steady. Steady.

And...

I'm alive now.

Oh, no!

Well, well, well.

And here I thought today

couldn't get any better.

Great-uncle Ford!

Dipper, take my journals.

Listen. I know of

one other way to defeat Bill.

It's...

Oh, no, Dipper, run!

Get down!

Good old Six Fingers.

I've been waiting

an eternity

- to have a chat face to face.

Everyone, this Armageddon

wouldn't be possible

without help from

our friend here.

Give him

a six-fingered hand.

This brainiac is the one

who built the portal

in the first place.

Don't look

so sour, Fordsie.

It's not too late

to join me.

With that extra finger,

you'd fit right in

with my freaks.

I'll die before

I join you.

I know your weakness, Bill.

Oh, yeah?

And I know a riddle.

- Why did the old man do this?

- This?

Because I needed

a new back scratcher.

That's enough!

Hand over my uncle,

or else!

Now isn't this...

interesting?

My old puppet

is back for an encore.

You think

you can stop me?

Go ahead, Pine Tree,

show me what you got.

I...

Uh...

"I, um, I..."

Do it, kid.

Do some brilliant thing

that takes me down right now.

What do you got,

Pine Tree?

Everyone's waiting.

Do it!

Bill!!

That's right.

Don't be a hero, kid.

This is what happens

to heroes in my world.

No! The journals!

Not much of

a threat now, are you?

Now can anyone remind me

why we came here?

To get weird!

That's right.

VIP party at the Fearamid.

Oh, and 8 Ball, Teeth,

you've earned a treat.

- Have the kid for a snack.

- Huh?

Hench maniacs,

roll out!

So you wanna eat him

or something?

Oh, definitely.

Let's eat him.

We're day three in

this strange cataclysmic event

which some are calling

Weirdmageddon,

or the Odd-pocalypse.

Weather today calls for

black clouds, blood rain,

and frequent showers

of eyeball bats

turning people

into stone.

I'm Shondra Jiminez,

and I ate a rat for dinner.

Mabel, it's me.

So far,

I've eluded capture,

but I haven't been able

to find you or Stan anywhere.

I don't know if

you can hear me,

but wherever you are,

whatever happens,

- I'm going to find you.

The mall! Maybe they're

hiding in there.

- Oh, no.

- Hey. Hey, you.

Hey, I wanna

talk to you.

I wanna talk to you about

going inside my mouth.

I think you wanna

get in here.

Hey, you! Hey,

I'm talkin' to you!

You don't have to make

a big deal outta this.

Hello. Hello!

Why are you

just ignoring me?

That's seriously rude

to just ignore

someone like that.

Stan! Mabel!

Maybe at least I can

get something to eat.

The last nachos

on Earth.

Help! The nachos

tricked me!

Dipper?

Wendy? Oh, no.

You've been transformed into

some sort of tree monster.

It's just camouflage.

My dad made me and my brothers

do apocalypse training

every year instead of

Christmas.

Guess it's sort of cool

their paranoia paid off.

Nice! Bat meat.

Let me get that for you.

Wendy, I'm so glad

to find you.

I thought everyone

I knew was gone.

Hey, hey, it's okay.

We have each other now.

And Toby Determined, who I

accidentally mistook for a monster.

This just in:

This arrow in my shoulder.

We shouldn't stay

out in the open for too long.

Let me show you

my hideout.

We were playing

Truth Or Dare in the cemetery

when it happened.

The eyeballs froze Nate, Lee, Tambry

and Thompson.

Robbie almost got away,

but had to pause to take a selfie.

What about you?

I was in a fight with

Mabel when it happened.

Uncle Ford asked me

to be his apprentice

after the summer was over.

But that would mean

I wouldn't go back home.

It would mean growing up

without Mabel.

Oh, dude.

Mabel didn't

take it well,

and she ran off

into the forest.

She couldn't even

look me in the eye.

Come on, let's get

some fresh air.

Toby, you watch the camp.

Don't call me Toby

anymore.

Call me Bodacious T.

No one will ever

call you that.

End of the world.

Man.

Those death metal

album covers

got it shockingly right.

You know, I used to think

I could get out of anything.

But this?

The journals are destroyed,

Ford is captured,

and I can't find

my family anywhere.

Bill said it himself.

There's no room

for heroes out here.

We lost.

Look, dude,

it's not over yet.

You've beaten Bill

twice before.

Why is this time

any different?

'Cause then,

I had Mabel.

Then you need to get

Mabel back.

Look, this summer,

I've seen some amazing things,

but nothing as amazing

as you and your sister.

I don't know if

it's dumb luck,

or yin and yang

or whatever,

but when you two

work together,

there's nothing you two

can't accomplish.

You just need

to make up and team up,

and save the universe.

But how will

I ever find her?

The shooting star

from Mabel's sweater.

She's in there.

I know it.

Whoa, is that like

twin ESP?

No, we don't have that.

But we do have this thing

where our allergies

totally act up

at the same time.

Mabel needs us.

How are we gonna get out there

without being caught?

I have an idea.

Spin that person,

spin that person.

Spin that person.

Go nuts, guys.

When we're done partying,

I unveil phase two.

Open up.

This is the police.

Time police.

Just play it cool.

Ditch the time punch.

Let me do the talking.

Bill Cipher, you are

in violation

of the rules

of Spacetime,

and possessing the body

of a time officer.

My body is a temple.

How dare you?

Hear this, Cipher.

Ugh, Time Baby.

If your rip in this dimension

continues,

it could destroy

the very fabric of existence.

Surrender now

or face my tantrum.

Oh, no, a tantrum.

Whatever will I do

about that?

How about this?

- Aw, snap!

He just killed

Time Baby.

Oh, man, this has gone

from bad to worse.

I gotta get out of

Time Dodge.

Boss, the pine tree kid got

away before we could eat him.

Are you worried he might

try to cause some trouble?

Yeah, trouble with

Mabel's bubble?

Ha! I'm not worried.

I've got someone

on the case.

The abandoned auto mart.

Free cars,

ripe for the hot wiring.

We have found

our ride to Mabel.

Wonder if they

have a tank.

I always wanted

to drive a tank.

I can't believe

this place is just abandoned.

Oh, an air freshener.

Finally, I'll smell like

a person.

Stealy, stealy. Ah!

Huh, it's gonna take more

than one dart

to keep me...

Oh, no. Tony!

Was it Tony? I can never

remember his name.

Well, well, looks like

we got ourselves

a pair of

ground walkers.

Ha ha, ground walkers.

Ain't got no wheels.

Listen, discount

auto warriors.

We just wanna make it

to that bubble out east.

We have no quarrel

with you.

Oh, but that's

where you're wrong.

Hands where I can see 'em.

Y'all fellers ain't

goin' nowhere.

Y'all?

Fellers? Wait.

Gideon?

That's Sheriff Gideon.

Under the authority of

Bill Cipher,

I place you two

under arrest.

Hi, Wendy.

Have we formally met?

Ooh-wee.

Look who the apocalypse

dragged in.

Y'all are in

a 12-piece bucket

of deep fried

trouble now.

Ghost Eyes, spittoon.

It's Gideon.

And he's gotten

folksier.

My old pal Bill

figured you might try

to rescue Mabel,

so he appointed me

master of these wastelands,

and keeper of the bubble.

My sweet, precious Mabel's

trapped inside,

and I have the only key

wrapped around my...

well, I wouldn't

call it a neck exactly.

Wrapped around this little

pocket of fat under my head.

Gideon, you have no right

to keep her in there.

Bill explained it to me

nice and simple.

She was always

destined to be mine,

and now that I have her

in a cage,

she'll learn to love me.

I have an eternity to wait.

Ghost Eyes, ready to escort

our friends to Bill's dungeon?

No. Hey!

This isn't gonna

work, Gideon.

Oh? And why's that?

Because after I break

Ghost Eyes' arm,

and steal that key

from your neck,

I'm gonna wear your butt

on my foot

- like a rhinestone slipper.

And what makes you think

you can do all that?

'Cause I'm a flippin'

Corduroy!

Ghost Eyes,

my hench angel.

Get back!

Get back, or I will

drop-kick him, I swear.

You'll never

get away with this, you hear me?

Guess what?

We already did.

Wendy, you're

the coolest person I know.

I know, dude.

Tell me about it later.

After them!

- You want your baby seat?

- Yes, please.

We are not letting them

get Mabel.

Discount Auto Mart warriors,

roll out!

Okay, all we have to do

is outrace Gideon's henchmen,

unlock the bubble,

save Mabel, save the world.

Quick question: did you ever get

your driver's license?

Definitely not.

Arm!

I can't let 'em

free Mabel.

Remind me why you're keeping

your girlfriend in a prison bubble again.

Have we, the prisoners,

become the wardens?

She loves me.

She just doesn't know it yet.

- Now quit the philosophy.

- Sorry. It was my major.

Ha! Weirdness bubble

blockin' the path.

Ooh-wee!

We got 'em now.

Watch it. Go around

that bubble field.

No way around.

Hold on! We're goin' through.

What's even in there?

That was horrible.

Here comes another one, dude.

Brace yourself!

Wendy, we're

almost there.

We just have

to make that jump.

Total lack of driver's training,

don't fail me now.

So close.

Mabel... I'm...

almost there.

Hey, Dipper.

How's it hangin'?

- Soos!

- Soos?

Handyman of the apocalypse,

at your service.

Soos, how'd you...

where'd you...

I've been wandering

the plains like a desperado,

helping strangers.

I guess there are

some folk songs about me now.

Let me see

what the damage is here.

The good news is,

your arm is okay.

What's the bad news?

Bad news is,

we're surrounded, dudes.

Ooh-wee!

I daresay you almost

had a jump on me

there for a second.

But this ain't

your Gravity Falls anymore.

Out here, I win.

Bill's hench bats

will be here any minute

to retrieve y'all.

Mabel's mine now!

Is she?

Well, yeah.

I have her trapped.

Ergo, Mabel is mine.

Gideon, listen to me.

If I've learned

anything this summer,

it's that you can't

force someone to love you.

The best you can do

is strive to be

someone worthy of loving.

Oh, I'm worthy

of lovin'.

These prisoners love me.

But Mabel doesn't,

because you're selfish.

But you can change.

Bill thinks there's

no heroes in this world,

but if we work together

and fight back,

we can defeat him.

You wanna be

Mabel's hero?

Stand up to Bill

and let us save her.

That's crazy.

You know what Bill would do

to me if that happens?

- You scared of Bill?

- No, I...

It's a complicated

situation.

Look inside, Gideon.

If all this

is for Mabel,

then ask yourself what Mabel

would want you to do.

Dipper, will you tell her

what I did?

Of course.

I hope you're right

about this.

Guys, new plan.

Bill's minions are gonna

be on us in seconds.

But I'm not gonna let

that dumb triangle

be the warden of me.

Y'all ready for a good,

old-fashioned prison brawl?

We're behind you

for life, brother.

Fighting children

is boring.

Fighting a chaos god

sounds fun.

Let's do this!

Henchmen, roll out!

Whew! And I thought I was

gonna have to throw down.

Okay. Remember, guys,

this is a prison bubble

designed by Bill.

We've gotta prepare ourselves

for what we find in here.

Whatever it is,

we'll do it together.

- For Mabel.

For Mabel.

Anybody wanna

get in my mouth?

I'm a big, hungry monster.

I'm a big, hungry

monster here.

I would really appreciate it

if someone...

You, ma'am,

you, ma'am,

- how would you

like to get in--

Anybod... hello!

Hey, sir, sir.

False alarm.

It's just a bird.

Not one person.

Not one person

has gotten in my mouth.

I don't care anymore.

I just...

I gotta call my mother.