Original subtitles

THE IDIOT

Freezing?

Very.

I didn't realise it was so cold here.

I'd forgotten.

Were you somewhere far away? - Yes, four years in Switzerland.

I was sent there to treat...

a neurological disease - some sort of epilepsy or cholera...

with shaking and convulsions.

Well, did it help?

No, it didn't.

So you wasted your money. Just gave it away to foreigners.

That's right!

All our money goes to foreigners. - Stay out of it!

I don't know how others pay...

but my doctor paid my bills for two years...

and paid for the trip back.

You didn't have anybody else to pay? - No.

I did write to a distant relative, but for some reason he didn't answer.

So then I came here.

And where is here?

Where am I staying? - Yes.

I really don't know yet.

Prince Myshkin!

Prince Myshkin?

Never heard the name.

There are no other Prince Myshkins but me.

I am the last one.

Rogozhin. Parfyon. - Pleased to meet you.

The same...?

The very same.

The same one.

I'm acquainted with Nastasya filippovna...

If you say a word about her, I'll kill you.

Based on the novel by F. Dostojevski

How can I be of service?

There is no special purpose in my coming but to meet you.

I just arrived from Switzerland.

I have little time for just getting acquainted.

What business do you have here?

I suspected you might see some special purpose in my coming.

But I have none - just the pleasure of meeting you.

I have that very great pleasure too, but one can't enjoy oneself all the time...

sometimes, you know, you have to do practical things too.

Besides, I can't imagine what we might have in common.

There isn't much.

To force a connection - your wife is a distant relative of mine.

But very distant.

I was abroad in a mental institution for four years.

I need to find some good people.

I have nowhere to go.

Let's make things clear...

since we agree there's no real relationship between us...

it would be best...

To get up and go!

Oh well.

Perhaps that's as it should be. I don't know the local customs or habits.

I'm sorry to have troubled you.

Wait.

Perhaps my wife would want to see her relative.

That would be nice!

Is there a place I may smoke here? - No, there is not.

Every place has its own habits.

A word, please...

Do you have any property? Sorry to be so...

Oh no, I understand. No, I don't have any.

But what do you intend to live on?

I thought I'd start working.

But do you have any skills? I mean, how will you earn your daily bread?

lam ill and I haven't studied much but I have very beautiful handwriting.

Sit here. I'll be right back. Stay here and don't touch anything.

What are you doing here?

What's this?

Nastasya filippovna! Where did you get this?

She sent it to me.

Has she asked for your picture yet? - No, and evidently won't.

That doesn't mean anything yet.

Tomorrow the lady has an important birthday and you and I are going, as invited.

I have a say here too.

Don't you want her any more?

I haven't said that.

If you don't want her, then just say that you don't.

No one's forcing you to.

I do...

You know what she's like!

Don't worry. She's not halfas mad as she seems.

An amusing picture!

She's suffered a lot, hasn't she?

Do you know her?

Yes. I met Rogozhin on the train...

Did you? And what impression did you have?

I don't know.

He seemed passionate, but in a sickly way.

He's probably drunk himself under the table by now.

I suggest you keep away from him.

Here! - What's this?

This is classical English calligraphy.

I changed the oval a little, but I can't go any further...

a dangerous line... or this...

Well, this line... this is the most dangerous one.

It requires exceptional taste, but somehow I succeeded.

You're an artist!

My younger daughter is an artist too.

I'll go talk to my wife.

If she doesn't want to see you, don't take offence.

Some other time.

You like a woman like that?

A very proud face.

Would you marry a woman like that?

I'll never marry. I'm ill.

Would Rogozhin marry her?

Why not?

He'd marry her and kill her a week later.

Hungry and has seizures? - He has them rarely.

Hungry and has seizures? - He has them rarely.

I'd like you to question him a little. - Question him?

Don't take it so literally.

I meant to be nice to him. It's almost like an act of charity.

The poor man came straight from Switzerland.

He must be hungry. Why not feed him?

He really is like a child, you might have fun with him.

How do you mean? - Mother, stop acting the fool, please.

Father, invite him in!

Only if he wears a bib at the table!

He won't have a spasm here? - Mother!

Take a seat, please.

Not there - go over near the light, so I can see you.

Well, talk about something.

How did you like Switzerland?

My first impression was strong.

I arrived in Lucerne and was taken boating on the lake.

It was so beautiful but I wanted to weep all the time.

Why?

I get anxious when I see beauty.

So let's talk about something more cheerful.

Well, Aglaia! She's the artist here, but doesn't do anything.

I'd like to paint something beautiful, but I don't have any ideas!

Suggest something.

Paint the face of a criminal before he dies.

The face?

What kind of a face is that?

The minute before his execution.

What he's thinking, or...

Now he is a human being.

But who will he be in a minute's time?

He sees sunbeams on his head...

and he thinks those sunbeams are his new form.

That in a minute he will dissolve into the light.

Actually they don't think badly of you. You can see that in their faces.

Yes, I can see that.

So what do you see in our faces?

You have the happiest face.

The kindest of the three.

You have a simple and cheerful approach to people.

You have a kind face too...

but there's a strange sadness in your heart.

No doubt you're a good person, but you're not happy.

Aren't I good at guessing?

Yes!

But in your case I don't need to guess.

You're truly a child.

You see!

You thought you'd be prodding him

but he saw right through us.

That's quite right, I am a child and I know it.

But you said it straight out.

What about Aglaia?

I'll tell you later.

Why later? Is she too special?

She's so beautiful that it scares me.

The most beautiful one here!

And that's all?

It's hard to decide about beauty. Beauty is a mystery.

Now he gave the girl a riddle to solve!

But she is beautiful, isn't she?

Yes.

Almost as beautiful as Nastasya filippovna.

As who?

Nastasya filippovna. I saw her picture here before.

Where did you see it?

Bring it here! We want to see it too!

A good person, but a bit childish. - Actually rather ridiculous.

But he redeemed himself - flattered us all, even you.

He wasn't trying...

but I am flattered.

Where to now?

They wanted to see it.

What for?

I told them how beautiful she is. - You don't think of much else.

What did you tell them? Word for word, from the beginning.

I talked about Switzerland...

Lake Lucerne... criminals...

What did you say about me, you idiot?

Did you say I'm going to marry her? - You?!

I didn't know.

And I don't like being called an idiot.

Forgive me!

I'm afraid of that woman.

Nastasya was four years old when her parents died in fire.

The girl was taken into care by Totsky, a family friend...

a wealthy gentleman who started to have relations with her when Nastasya turned 12.

It was all very civil, proper and genteel.

Later Nastasya vowed revenge in any way she could.

Now Totsky wants to marry a new young woman, but he's afraid of Filippovna's revenge.

Totsky offered Nastasya 75,000...

and he wants me to marry her...

he hopes marriage will tame the woman.

So this is what you consider to be beauty?

Beauty like this can move mountains.

Perhaps you've had enough?

Today is my day!

You're flushed, do you have a fever?

Shall I bring you a shawl?

I brought my friend with me.

You're exactly as I imagined you.

Where do you know me from?

From the picture.

Come on in!

May I introduce Totsky - my stepfather. You've surely heard of him?

In passing.

This is my beautiful sister, Varja.

Oh, Prince!

We have known each other a long time! - Don't shout!

Teach us the game you promised us.

What game?

Ah, that game!

There is a game

where everyone has to tell about the worst thing they did in their life...

but honestly!

A special kind of boasting.

No it isn't! I've played it before.

And did it work?

No. But it was a lot of fun.

In its own way.

Then we definitely must try it.

We're not having fun here as it is.

That sounds more depressing than amusing.

I think that game is just silly.

No, it's a brilliant game!

Well, who'll start?

So.

Whoever draws the short straw will start.

A strange idea. - It's meant to be.

What if the story is dirty?

Then don't tell it, for God's sake. Pick another one.

How will we face each other later?

No gain without pain.

I start.

I was so hoping to hear Myshkin. I already know other people's sins.

I always tell the same old story.

I was visiting a friend...

there was money on the table...

I was alone in the room...

I took the money and put it in my pocket.

Why?

I don't even know myself!

Immediately they suspected the maid. The girl was confused.

She said she hadn't taken it.

Even I encouraged her to confess.

The girl denied it, cried...

and was dismissed on the spot.

Did you confess later?

Of course not.

A very dirty deed!

You want to hear our worst deeds and expect something pure!

Shall we stop this?

Now it's your turn.

And after you, it's my turn.

If you promise to tell your deed, I'm ready to tell you my whole life story...

I haven't always behaved elegantly, myself.

I was still young then

Dumas's "The Lady of the Camellias" was all the rage.

A classic tale, which in my opinion will never die or age.

Camellias became extraordinarily fashionable.

My friend and I were secretly in love with the same girl,

whose birthday was approaching.

My friend confessed he found the only place where camellias were grown.

He told me he was planning to get the girl a bouquet of camellias.

That same night I rushed to the greenhouse...

and bought them all, down to the last blossom.

In the morning, the camellias lay at the feet of our beloved.

My friend's hopes were dashed forever.

Instead of the worst deed, you told us your most romantic one. What a pity!

A Pity - why?

I have an anecdote too!

My old friends are terribly keen on marrying me off.

Tell me, what shall I do?

Whatever you say, I'll do.

To whom?

To that one!

No.

Did you hear that?

These things are no joking matter.

I'm not joking. It's decided!

Enough!

Why him?

I don't know - he seems, somehow believable.

That's what I thought...

Myshkin is...

Myshkin must be... - Interested in 75,000?

Is that what you meant?

Nastasya!

Not polite enough?

People will do anything for money.

Why do you let that wench humiliate you?

What did you say? Apologise!

Stay out of my business.

Parties like this are common here.

What's that?

A hundred thousand.

Is that my price?

That's all I have.

Why don't you make him leave?

Why?

What's Rogozhin guilty of?

I'm not even wearing anything that belongs to me.

Who would want me naked?

Lebedev, would you want me?

Me?

No, to be honest.

But perhaps the Prince would.

Really?

Really.

How's that? You don't even know what I'm like.

One can see that straight away.

So what am I like?

You've lived through hell and come out clean - that says a lot.

What hell? Is he a bit...

Nastasya, don't prod him any more, there's no need.

Just now, you gave Totsky his money back.

No-one here is capable of that.

Why be ashamed now and run off with Rogozhin?

You're not much of a suitor, are you?

You need someone to look after you, yourself.

If we're poor, then I'll go to work.

Look how he stares!

I can go to work also...

in a laundry.

But perhaps we're not so poor after all.

I got a letter from Switzerland this morning.

My doctor died and left all his estate in my name!

This is serious.

One and a half million.

Now there's a Prince!

Congratulations! Sincerely!

What do I do now?

Get lost!

Stop it! - Hands off!

What are you raving about? - Go to hell.

You're drunk!

You should goto bed.

You really need to be taken care of.

Help me!

Rogozhin!

Where did you want to take me? - To a restaurant!

Let's go then!

You took me seriously?

Don't cry. I don't know how to handle children.

That's a job for Totsky.

Take the money.

Well then...

You've lost everything now?

I have an idea.

I'll throw it in the fire...

and if you take it out with your bare hands then it's all yours.

But let it burn a little otherwise it's not interesting.

I won't let anyone else near it.

It's my money. Isn't it?

Yours!

Maybe we should restrain her.

Well, what are you waiting for?

You're not going anywhere!

You'll hang yourself later.

Don't be stupid - go!

Somewhere in Africa people are starving.

Get in the fire!

He's fainted!

He resisted.

Go and take it out!

After receiving his inheritance, the Prince's appearance improved slightly.

All his clothes were new...

but too fashionable for someone who takes no interest in such things.

After the romp with Rogozhin, Nastasya disappeared without a trace.

Being found by Rogozhin, she promised to marry him.

Then she vanished again.

It was said that she lived for a month with Myshkin but fled from him as well.

She said that being married to Rogozhin was like running across a knife-edge...

but she'll perish either way.

What are you staring at?

Come on in!

So this is where you live?

It's so dark in here!

Is this your father?

Yes!

What are you smiling at?

You are alike.

She said the same.

You're reading?

She thought I ought to educate myself.

Will you live here together?

You know very well that I'm not the one who decides.

I'm not your enemy!

You know that she visited me and asked to be protected from you.

We lived together for a month...

and then she left me too.

I'm not your rival.

My love is rather more...

pity.

Why did you come here?

I didn't come here for her sake.

Do you use this to slit the pages open? - Yes.

But it's...

...new.

So what? Can't! have a new knife?

I need to leave this place.

A replica!

My father bought all sorts of shit.

But I like this one.

One could lose faith over it.

Some have.

I was joking...

you got so serious.

Do you believe in God?

You ask so harshly.

Many don't believe.

It's hard to speak of faith...

or measure it.

I heard about a man who made the sign of the cross...

and cut his friend's throat to get his watch.

Very good story!

Was it you following me earlier?

My head is heavy.

Like when I had the attacks.

He felt like before the fits started.

With epilepsy, there's a phase that intensifies the senses.

The brain, in the midst of dejection and anxiety, seems to catch fire.

In a brief moment where everything is concentrated into supreme harmony and joy...

which gives a sense of perfection and reconciliation never felt before.

He felt ashamed for having thought badly of Rogozhin.

Rogozhin claimed that there was no pity in his love...

but did that book on his table mean pity was seeping in?

Perhaps one day he'll understand...

that it is a crime to passionately love such a fragile woman.

Perhaps he will then become her servant, a brother and a friend.

Compassion would teach and spiritualise Rogozhin...

because compassion is the only law of human existence.

"YOU FORGOT TO KISS MY SOUL"

Death...

...without the unction.

He's asleep, you can disturb him. - I'm awake.

The poor thing is dying and you won't let anyone near!

It's getting too crowded for us here.

You still live alone?

You haven't married? - No.

Nothing to smile at here.

You've changed so much.

For the better.

She puts on blue glasses and immediately thinks she has personal beliefs.

But her painting still lacks a subject.

The subject already exists. - Already?

What is it?

A poor knight - the subject of a very sad poem.

Even the model exists.

Full of life, as you see.

I've never tolerated poetry, but I do want to hear this one.

A poor and simple knight was there,

Who spoke but little, plain, austere.

On womankind he cast no look

To speak with them had no desire.

He lived his life out, pent inside,

Like a madman, thus he died.

What's with him? Drunk again?

Someone was here. Asked after you. I sent her away.

Who came?

That's a secret.

Whose secret? I don't have any secrets.

Whose secret? I don't have any secrets.

Your secret!

You wouldn't even allow me to tell you about it.

Who visits you here?

You aren't married to her, are you? - No.

And you almost married her in front of everyone. - I almost did.

Is anything sacred to you?

If you're still meeting with her, why do you write letters to Aglaia?

If you're still meeting with her, why do you write letters to Aglaia?

I did write to her.

I felt so bad that I wanted to write something beautiful to someone.

I felt so bad that I wanted to write something beautiful to someone.

Where's the hundred thousand?

Look in Nastasya's panties.

Very beautiful, but painful for the back.

Look to the right.

Do you like this place?

It's very beautiful.

I sometimes come here to watch the sunrise.

I sometimes come here to watch the sunrise.

Don't be afraid, I won't bite.

She sent me after you.

She has something to say to you.

What is it?

We watched you at the concert. She's known about you two for a while.

We watched you at the concert. She's known about you two for a while.

She thinks you're in love. - No.

I don't care...

but she said she wants to see you happy at last.

That means she loves you.

She wants to see you today.

I'll come tomorrow. Listen, what's the time?

Twelve.

I'm going home now; will you come?

Why?

You won't stop by?

You are strange.

You are strange.

I sat here and remembered - it's my birthday today.

Come to my place. Let's drink some wine.

You can raise a glass to me.

What will I tell her then - that I started drinking with you?

What will I tell her then - that I started drinking with you?

Yes.

He's not dying yet, is he?

What's the time? How long was I asleep?

Seven - eight minutes.

Seven - eight minutes.

You're counting the minutes?

That's enough. You're not allowed.

Hello.

What's the time?

What's the difference - everyone's here.

It is time, the right time...

I wrote all night.

What's this? - You'll soon hear.

What's this now? We're just about to eat.

People just arrived. Sit down!

People just arrived. Sit down!

He brought his brother with him.

He was doing much better before.

I'll bring the burned packet back for you.

At the first opportunity.

Are you afraid? - Of what?

Does anyone have a coin?

If it comes up heads, I'll recite my text.

Heads it is!

Motto:

After me,the deluge!

Could I really write such a stupid motto...

I'm ashamed already. - Too much talk.

I'm ashamed already. - Too much talk.

It shouldn't be done like this!

One second.

After me,the deluge.

Yesterday the doctor told me that I have a month left to live.

Yesterday the doctor told me that I have a month left to live.

After he'd gone I dreamed of a terrible creature.

It was like a scorpion...

but it wasn't a scorpion. It was more terrible.

but it wasn't a scorpion. It was more terrible.

A dog bit the creature in half and

white liquid oozed onto the dog's tongue...

then I woke up...

I haven't read through this myself.

It seems I've written a lot of unnecessary things.

Yes, indeed.

Anyone who doesn't like it can leave!

Anyone who doesn't like it can leave!

Are you throwing us out?

From a stranger's birthday.

I won't be disrupted any more.

I started to be haunted by the thought...

I started to be haunted by the thought...

that the couple of weeks I have left...

are not worth living.

Ten days ago I went to see Rogozhin...

as we have all done from time to time.

There was a painting on his wall.

Usually Christ is depicted as an image of unearthly beauty...

Usually Christ is depicted as an image of unearthly beauty...

but this was a mutilated corpse...

whose flesh has completely subjected to the laws of nature.

Who hasn't overcome death.

That picture was like an expression

of the actual brutal power of nature...

to which everyone is subject.

Rogozhin must have understood what I was thinking...

but he didn't say anything.

I went home and lay down.

I went home and lay down.

It was nearly one o'clock.

Suddenly my door opened and in came Rogozhin.

And then it occurred to me...

what if it isn't Rogozhin, but just an apparition?

The next morning I saw that the door was locked and no one could have got in.

And that is what forced me to decide.

I no longer want a life that takes the shape of a ghost.

It's humiliating.

And in that case...

the only act that I can still begin and end of my own free will...

is suicide.

The sun has come up.

Did you think it wouldn't?

Well, shall we go?

Are you trying to hurt me? - You're just stupid.

I've annoyed you, haven't I? - It was a bit long, but...

Leave him be!

That's exactly what he wanted - for us to stop him.

My bones are stiff from sitting.

It's ridiculous, but I really don't know what to suggest.

It didn't go off, then?

Perhaps it isn't loaded. - It is loaded! Look!

I forgot.

I'm sorry, really, I didn't mean to.

Look, the bullets are herein my pocket.

I'll do it over again, otherwise you'll think that...

I'll give it back to you tomorrow.

Right now you are going to bed.

Come on, I'll take you home.

I'm going to say goodbye.

You're asleep! - It's you!

I was asleep.

I can see that.

Wasn't there another woman here?

Another woman?

It was a dream.

What other woman did you dream of?

You know.

You still love her?

I did love her very much...

but then she guessed the truth. - What?

That I only felt sorry for her.

Do you know she wrote to me?

You know, what?

Nothing would surprise me; she's mad.

She wrote that she had fallen in love with me.

And she has noticed that you are also in love with me.

And that only! can look after someone like you.

That is proof of her mad ness.

If you think she's mad, then tell her not to write to me any more.

Or I'll let my father put her in the madhouse.

Are you satisfied now?

So be a martyr, if it suits you so well!

Dear Aglaia,

Who am I?

And who are you?

We are complete opposites.

I have never once asked you if you love him.

But I understood without words that you are the light of his life.

You alone could love him without egoism.

Of course you may ask

whether I want to bring you together for your own sakes or for mine?

For mine, of course.

I heard that you once said of my picture...

that such beauty could turn the world upside down.

But I have given up on the world.

It might be strange for you to read this, seeing me in lace and diamonds...

among all those drunks and scoundrels.

I've given up on life.

My soul is in hell.

And I'm holding on to that hell.

I hardly exist at all any more.

All this time I am here...

I have the feeling that he is keeping a knife wrapped in silk in a drawer.

Rambling.

Those letters were dreamlike.

Sometimes people have strange dreams.

On waking, you smile at the nonsense...

but at the same time you feel

as if your dream had told you something new and prophetic.

Those letters left the same impression.

How could such a crazy idea occur to Nastasya's mind?

But strangest of all, it had become a reality -

Aglaia had professed her love to Myshkin.

Of course it was mad...

but Myshkin understood that the madness

was keenly real and painfully true.

Something bad has happened. - What?

I lost my wallet

from my side pocket.

How?

Someone stole it. - Who?

I don't remember.

It's the booze.

Terrible!

It's terrible when you lose your senses!

It's very hard for me to ask this...

could you lend me a thousand? Until Tuesday.

It's terribly embarrassing. - Don't start.

It really is better to deal with good people than with all kinds of crooks.

May I sit here?

I'm not disturbing you?

Do you think it's a sign? - What is?

Loss of memory!

My grandmother used to see signs from God everywhere.

When the bus came at the right time, she thought

Look, the Lord has sent me a bus.

When she found her lost rake, she thought

God has sent me a rake!

I think like your grandmother -

It must be some kind of longing.

I've always been afraid that a brick would fall on my head if I wasn't good.

I'm still afraid.

Listen to what Osho says:

If you want to find inspiration,

you must turn your back on your own intentions and do something else -

carry water or chop wood.

Thus you rediscover the beauty that God reveals in the world.

Did you hear that, Aglaia?

Myshkin, for example, is oppressed by beauty.

Maybe he's simply a weak man.

A hedgehog!

Wait! Let me see!

It isn't mine. - Whose is it then?

It's his.

Actually, it's our friend's.

He gave us money to buy him "1001 Nights"

but we bought a hedgehog and an axe instead.

So the hedgehog and the axe belong to him.

Bring me my bag!

Do you know Myshkin?

Take this to him and say it's from a young lady...

as a sign of respect.

I always lock the door at night.

I'm not afraid of thieves, but what if a madman came.

Why should I let myself be frightened to death?

By the way, something like that happened to me.

When Nastasya was small, she used to be afraid at night and come into my room.

She just stood there.

I would wake up and be so startled.

Did you get the hedgehog?

I did.

What do you think of it?

You mean, how did I receive the hedgehog?

No, I mean: do you want me or not?

The whole family wants to know.

Look, this is going too far!

If you want to know if! love you, then yes.

So I'd better ask straight out:

are you asking for my hand or not?

I am.

Drink some water. Gather your strength.

I refuse! - We're no longer children.

Now tell them how big your fortune is.

You mean the money? - Exactly.

At the moment I have 135,000.

That's not much but we'll manage.

Do you intend to work too? - Yes, I thought I'd try education.

So you're thinking of becoming a teacher?

A teacher?

No, I havent thought of that but...

It was a joke...

starting with the hedgehog.

I won't allow this any more!

But seriously...

It was a joke.

You mean she was joking, not you?

Wait.

Like idiots.

What can you do? It's fate.

Can I talk to you seriously?

Just for once?

Or do you only talk seriously about how beauty can save the world.

Your eyes are so somber.

I know why. - Please don't!

Are you happy?

Today, now, with her?

What did she say to you? - Calm down.

Wait!

Why didn't you answer - are you happy or not?

No, I'd rather talk.

You must come with me! Have you the strength?

I have the strength, but is there any sense in it?

This is important for me!

You know why! came here.

I don't.

Look at him!

Anyone can cheat him and he'll forgive them.

And that's why I started to love him.

But you are vain.

No, I was wrong...

you're a pathological egoist.

You could only love your own shame.

I've never said I love him.

Why didn't you just leave your Totsky without making a scene?

You are naive.

And you aren't?

Leave it, please!

You want me to tell you why you came here?

You want to see what you're most afraid of.

Afraid of - what?

You want me to simply bid him to stay and he will?

You'll run off home, alone.

Is that what you want?

Why didn't you answer - are you happy or not?

I'm not!

You could have told her you are.

Go away, Rogozhin.

You look good!

You're in love?

Congratulations!

When I saw you,

I thought I'd come say something nasty to you.

But no!

People are already hinting to me...

that a decent person dies quietly.

I read a book about how people used to die.

A man was impaled on a stake for fifteen days, in the cold.

Listen...

you tell me - how does one die with dignity?

You know the subtleties of it.

Go pass us, and forgive us our happiness.

Well said.

I was expecting you to say something like that...

you wordsmith.

Farewell.

Until the afterlife, apparently.

We were very wrong about you, Prince.

One of the characteristic features of my life has always been disappointment in people.

She doesn't want to see you any more!

I have to speak to her.

About what? You don't love her!

I do.

So you want to love them both?

Yes.

You poor idiot!

YOU FORGOT TO KISS MY SOUL

Is she with you?

Yes.

It's so dark in here.

It should be.

Where is she?

There.

Asleep!

Go closer.

It's just that...

Come.

It's strange...

the knife went in deep, just under the left breast...

but there was only a spoonful of blood.

You hear that?

No.

Let's stay here for the night...

we'll sleep on the floor; there are no other beds.

Do you feel ill?

No.

This illness...

before I have an attack...

there is a kind of radiant moment.

Extraordinary light seems to pass through my mind and heart.

It's so good.

I know it's because of the illness...

but it feels so good!