Original subtitles

♪ Hazel moved to the city, feeling all alone ♪

♪ Till her whole life changed with a pair quite strange ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality ♪

♪ They're her new OddParents, Fairly OddParents ♪

- ♪ Wands and wings ♪ - ♪ Floaty crowny things ♪

♪ OddParents, Fairly OddParents ♪

♪ A new wish for magic hijinks ♪

♪ Fish guy, pizza fries ♪

♪ Penny-farthing dirt bike rides ♪

♪ Ghost snoops, major whoops ♪

♪ Baryonyx, time loops ♪

♪ Pretty great, you've got it made ♪

♪ With Fairly OddParents! ♪

[dramatic rock music]

♪ ♪

In honor of the new "Gregory" movie out today,

I'ma teach you how to make a Wells family special,

Popcorn Palooza!

First pour your butter, Biddle Bites,

and Boom Bams into the bucket.

- Ooh, Boom Bams, my favorite. - Ooh, yes.

Ooh, when do we add the turkey and the stuffing?

Ooh, and the candied yams?

What? No.

That's Thanksgiving. [phone rings]

[gasps] Hey, Antony, what's up?

Hey, lil' sis.

Guess who's going to see "Gregory 6: The Puppet Master"?

It's gonna be so--oh! [groaning]

Antony?

Uh-oh, I'm being possessed.

It's Gregory!

[laughs sinisterly]

[laughter]

You going with Deja?

[smooching mockingly]

Nah, she's busy.

It'll just be me, myself,

and a bucket of Popcorn Palooza.

Oh, fun!

A solo movie trip sounds awesome.

But since "Gregory" is PG-13,

I'd have to go with Mom and Dad.

Have fun with that.

Dad's always scared...

[yelps, mumbles]

And Mom talks the whole time.

Mm-hmm, that is classic projection.

That doll hacks off limbs

because he feels emotionally hacked off from society.

Aw, man, if I ask Mom and Dad to take me,

they'll ruin the whole movie.

Yeah, I couldn't wait to turn 13

so I could go to the movies by myself.

[gasps] That's a great idea.

What's a great idea?

Aging?

[phone clatters]

Where's the--

All good. I can make

all the Popcorn Palooza I want at the movie theater.

I wish I was 13 so I could see "Gregory" by myself!

[chuckles]

Notice anything different about me?

Your neck is longer.

My arms and legs, too.

Plus I feel older, wiser,

more able to go to the movies by myself-er.

Were y'all teenagers in the 1950s or something?

No, we were teenagers in the 1590s.

Let's get this "Gregory" party started.

I wish we were at the theater.

Ugh, the movie doesn't start for another four hours.

What are we gonna do till then?

Anything we want.

The mall is a teenage utopia...

Where teens try on sunglasses and hats

and take pictures in sunglasses and hats,

but never buy the sunglasses or hats, and--

wait, why do teens go to malls?

I'm gonna find out.

Here goes something-- teenager edition.

[camera shutter clicking]

Wh--what are we doing?

Being teenagers, duh.

Yeah, duh, Wanda.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[scoffs] Wow. Look at all the sheeple, man.

Just lining up to buy stuff, man.

Consumerism, man.

[all giggle]

'Fit check!

Hold up.

Is that... a pimple?

Huh? It's a... pepperoni?

You don't put pepperoni on pasta.

It's a meatball.

What does pasta have to do with it?

Wait. [sniffs]

Speaking of pasta, what smells like spaghetti?

You do, silly.

Uh, Cosmo, Wanda, what's happening to me?

both: Pasta puberty!

Why are we in a classroom?

"Your changing body.

Pasta puberty is hard, but not im-pasta-ble."

Yeah, this isn't clearing up anything.

You see, Hazel,

when fairies reach a certain age,

powerful fairy-mones cause big emotional and physical changes,

like pesto pits, antipasto acne,

and even mozzarella mood swings.

Thank you, Cosmo, for that amazing demonstration.

Any questions?

Yes.

What? Why am I going through pasta puberty?

I'm human!

Well, you wished to be a teenager,

so we used fairy-mones to age you up fast.

You're having our version of puberty.

Cosmo, I can't take you seriously

with your face like that.

Someone's mozzarella mood swings are starting to simmer.

[groans]

Every day it's something with y'all.

You want us to undo the wish?

On the one hand, I have noodles coming out

of my armpits, but on the other,

I still really want to see "Gregory" by myself.

Another bucket, please.

Okay, I feel like I can handle this

for a few more hours until the movie premiere.

How hard can it be?

There has to be something here that can help me.

Pimple cream, maybe?

Squirt, you're trying to treat it like regular puberty.

You need to treat it like pasta puberty.

Oh, pasta puberty, you mean the magical process

that was just poorly explained to me five minutes ago?

Why would I know how to deal with this?

Here, try these.

It's not working!

I know what will help.

Just say when.

[screams]

Um, Hazel, you forgot to say "when."

When! When, when, when!

When have you two ever stopped to think things through?

Why wouldn't you warn me that pasta puberty

was a side effect of my wish?

And why am I feeling so emotional right now?

[sobbing]

Uh-oh, looks like your mozzarella mood swings

are coming to a boil.

How do you know?

You don't know what I feel!

Nobody knows how I feel!

[sobbing]

[yelps] It's gonna be okay.

We're here to help.

Well, you're not helping.

I wish you two would just get lost!

Wait! Don't leave me.

How am I supposed to deal with this by myself?

[sobbing]

Garlic tears?

[squeakily] I can't.

Where's Hazel?

Was the toiletries kiosk this way or--or that way?

It was by Forever 13.

Or was it Never 13?

Oh, Wanda, help!

We're lost!

Oh, this is not good.

We need to find Hazel before this gets out of control.

[sobbing]

[angrily] I want to go home!

- It's a bird! - It's a plane!

It's a kid made of pasta?

I'm a teenager!

And we're rollin'!

Tina Churner reporting live from downtown,

where a pasta supervillain is on a rampage.

If your car is on the street, ooh, I recommend moving it

unless you want it to get "al dented."

See what I did there? [laughs]

Why are you looking at me?

[grunting]

Don't look at me!

[groans] Pasta puberty.

I do not miss that.

[muffled sobbing]

Sweet pea, are you okay in there?

No!

Well, does whatever's wrong have something

to do with all the spaghetti in the hallway, Hazel Basil?

Please don't mention basil right now.

[sighs] I wanted to go to the movies by myself,

but I couldn't because I'm too young.

So I was trying to be older, but it got out of control.

And I'm having these mozzarella--

I mean, human mood swings.

And everyone was looking at me, and--and--

I think I know what's going on here.

You do?

Hey, I know being older looks fun,

but there's no need to rush, baby girl.

Growing up is going to be hard,

full of trials and tribulations.

It sounds like you went through a tribulation today.

Yeah, my armpits smell like mushrooms...

[choking up] And noodles.

Wait, did she just say mushrooms and noodles?

Your mom's right, Hazelnut.

When the time comes for you to grow up,

we're gonna have your back no matter what.

But until then, you should enjoy

just being a super cool little kid, okay?

[sniffling] Okay.

Now can we come in and give you a big hug?

No! I mean, thank you so much,

but can I have some space right now?

Of course. We respect your privacy.

We're here for you, Hazelnut.

There's nothing that you're going through

that we haven't gone through ourselves.

I'm sure of it.

Is it just me or did we just nail that?

Yeah, we did. [laughter]

Go us!

[gasps] Cosmo! Wanda!

I'm so sorry for blowing up at you at the mall.

I was scared y'all were gone for good.

I was, too. When you told us to get lost,

we ended up wandering the mall for hours, and we were lost.

Good thing our puberty pamphlet

had a mall map on the back.

And once we got outside, it was pretty easy to follow

the trail of pasta sauce and destruction you left behind.

I wish I was 10 again!

But I thought you wanted to see "Gregory" by yourself.

Nah, that movie is PG-13.

I don't even want to think about being 13--

not yet, anyway.

[sniffs] Ahh.

The sweet nothing smell of prepubescence.

Did that come from my armpits?

We didn't want to let it go to waste.

Say when, Wanda!

[gulps]

[eerie music]

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