Original subtitles

? Hazel moved to the city, feeling all alone ?

? Till her whole life changed with a pair quite strange ?

? 'Cause in reality ?

? They're her new OddParents, Fairly OddParents ?

- ? Wands and wings ? - ? Floaty crowny things ?

? OddParents, Fairly OddParents ?

? A new wish for magic hijinks ?

? Fish guy, pizza fries ?

? Penny-farthing dirt bike rides ?

? Ghost snoops, major whoops ?

? Baryonyx, time loops ?

? Pretty great, you've got it made ?

? With Fairly OddParents! ?

What a beautiful day to be alive on CosWanda Rock.

Where nothing bad happens, ever.

both: Ah!

Did someone order a hero?

That pesky comet won't bother you anymore.

Every good story has one.

You thought you defeated me, but like any good villain,

I just won't go away.

Ha-ha!

Deep-fried seahorse, anyone?

Waaahh!

What a great adventure.

You gave me everything you had out there, and it was awesome.

Aw, you earned it, kiddo.

You had another incredible streak of wishes,

so this Fun Fantasy wish is on us.

Feels like just yesterday you were

nervous and scared and wishing for basic things,

like a talking gut.

That was yesterday, and I stand by that decision.

Me, too.

We just want you to know how proud we are.

We love granting your wishes.

Nothing can break this bond.

I want them broken up!

Split in two!

My boot, their butts.

Cookie, you are interrupting QDT, quality donkey time.

Pets are only good for two things-

doing your bidding and wearing as stunning

fashion accessories.

Listen to me, Cosmo and Wanda are horrible,

unfit, rule-breaking fairies.

They turned their godchild into a fly.

They let her run a hotel.

And they nearly canceled the Electric

Light Ice Cream Float Parade.

Cookie!

One, nobody likes a tattletale, especially me!

And two, none of those things have broken the rules.

Is this about you losing Hazel as a godchild?

Cookie don't lose.

She gets sweeter.

You want proof of rule-breaking?

I'll get you proof.

That's nothing to a boss fairy.

Ha!

Very well.

Until then, can you boss your way to the right a little?

Waaahh!

Oof!

That bag of muscles has no manners.

Huh.

"Folklore, Magic, & Tales Throughout History."

Ooh.

I'm warning you, Fredrick, none of your wild theories

and misinformation.

My fans deserve to hear the truth, like how wizards were

actually yetis in disguise.

That's where their white beards come from.

Your teachers must love you.

Oh.

With a few small tweaks, I can make this the perfect trap

for tricking Cosmo and Wanda into revealing their magic.

Then I can finally take my place as Hazel's

rightful fairy godparent!

What?

It's not breaking the rules when I do it.

Now, let's move.

We've got a diabolical plan to get to.

What else should we do today?

I'm feeling adventurous.

"Go to the museum."

Ooh, I wonder who this is from?

"Don't worry about it."

Welp, color me convinced.

Furray, Cookie Cam.

I knew it.

Uh, stop right there.

Something's off.

Nothing off here.

Just two regular, non-magical human adults.

I'm gonna pat you down.

Uh, gotta bulk up after hitting the gym,

know what I'm talking about?

You never can have too many teeth.

They like to stay on top of their taxes.

Adult humans, am I right?

My grannie was a jacked, toothless accountant.

You're good. - Whew.

Grr.

We have to keep a lower profile.

If people find out you're magic,

I could lose you forever.

So no more slip-ups, OK?

Wait, where's Cosmo?

As the only accurate source for magical facts,

I'd like to welcome my guest, a random audience member.

Have you ever seen a magical creature before?

Seen one? I am one!

both: Cosmo!

Oh, I'm sorry.

I meant, we are one.

Me and Wanda.

She's right over there.

Mwah.

You're a magical creature?

Yeah. A fairy.

Fairly human.

Oh, Cookie.

You brilliant, wonderful work of art.

That was fun.

Cosmo and Wanda, you are charged with fairy crimes

and will appear in fairy court!

Welcome to Cookie's Court.

Cookie.

Age, mind yo business.

Suing Cosmo and Wanda for revealing magical powers.

Defendants, Cosmo and Wanda.

Age, how high can numbers go?

They are innocent, confused, and sleepy.

But mostly innocent.

Order in the court!

I'll have a cheeseburger and a large fry.

You hungry, sweetie?

The only thing I'm hungry for is justice.

Who is representing who?

I'm representing myself.

Cookie don't need no help when truth is on her side.

And I will be representing the defendants.

Don't worry.

I know a ton about court stuff.

My mom and I love watching "This Is Scandal-Us" on TV.

Objection.

A child cannot represent a fairy.

Overruled.

She is tall enough to be a lawyer.

First witness!

Cookie! - Mm-hmm.

Um, where am I?

I'm the one asking the questions around here.

Have you seen those criminals before?

Yes, they were at the museum today.

And did those delinquents exhibit any odd behavior?

I heard the nervous one say he was a fairy.

There you have it.

I am the superior, rule-abiding fairy,

and they are a couple of rule-breaking hooligans.

Cookie rests her case.

James, if that is your real name.

Heh-heh.

You say you heard that nervous man say he was a fairy.

But did you believe him?

Uh, no.

And why is that?

Because fairies aren't real?

Fairies aren't real.

As far as he knows, he was just overhearing

a silly joke in passing.

What we have here is a clear-cut case

of "no harm, no foul."

No further questions Your Jorgen.

Compelling testimony from a scrawny human.

And now I will erase your memory.

You'll what?

I call for a recess.

And a snack break!

Aha.

You are it.

Your happy little trio will soon be over, Hazel.

You will be mine.

Come along, Furray.

With no damages, I have no choice but to rule

in favor of the defendants.

Thank you all for-

Eh!

Not so fast.

I have one final piece of evidence.

Cosmo was not merely overheard, he was recorded on a podcast,

the lowest form of media.

Not only am I a fairy, but Wanda is, too.

Ah!

It's not what it looks like.

Actually, it is what it looks like.

But I can explain.

Well, actually, I can't explain.

Wanda, a little help?

Uh-

Can we be tried separately?

Too late.

Hazel, I am reassigning you to Cookie.

Again!

Cosmo and Wanda, you will serve

10,000 years in Fairy Jail.

Oh, get your hands off of me!

I'm not going back!

No!

Don't be sad, Hazel.

The best fairy won.

You can learn a lot from me.

Come along, Furray.

Wait!

I want to call one final witness to the stand.

Furray.

There's always a plot twist.

I learned that from you too.

Ha!

Furray can't testify.

He's a ferret.

He can't even talk.

Then I wish Furray could talk.

Thank you for joining us, Furray.

Can you please share your perspective of today's events?

My pleasure.

Cookie is a horrible, unfit, rule-breaking fairy,

and I can prove it.

Are you getting this?

Yeah. A fairy.

Fairly human.

Ugh!

Get that camera out my face.

All lies.

Furray, how could you?

I am more than just your pet accessory.

I am Furray,

feeler of feelings, dreamer of dreams.

Sometimes I want to play outside, too.

all: Boo!

Cookie, I find you guilty of being careless with magic,

framing innocent fairies, and wasting my time!

I sentence you to 10,000 years in Fairy Jail.

Oh, Cookie's too cute to be locked up.

Furray, as Cookie's accomplice,

you are hereby sentenced to 10,000 years

of recess!

You did it, kiddo.

We're so proud.

I never doubted myself.

I did.

What?

Like sand passing through an hourglass,

our story comes to an end as we accept our rightful defeat.

Alas, this is how the cookie crumbles.

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