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(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
A night of slumming it in the park
with a bunch of rich capitalists
has had quite the effect on you.
Yeah, I looked around and I thought,
"I don't want to be one of these arseholes."
(LAUGHS) You already are, Ev.
Sparkling water? No.
So, what's on your mind?
I want to reopen our conversation.
Which one?
The one where you buy me out for a lot of money.
That doesn't sound very anti-capitalist.
Anyway, the board's a little...
..tetchy about the whole Gwen episode.
Oh, that was business. (CHOKES, LAUGHS)
Oh, come on, you've been there.
Evelyn, you want to be one of the nice guys,
but you have this killer ambition
that just keeps getting in the way.
that just keeps getting in the way.
I'm a businesswoman.
I want Eve to be successful.
But I want it to become more of a collective.
Wait a second, you just posted a piece called,
'Feminism Is A Blood Sport'.
I'm assuming that you've read the comments?
I know people have strong opinions about me...
"Evelyn Jones criticises the patriarchy,
"yet does nothing to identify the power structures
"that reinforces those systems."
"I don't like her. She's disingenuous."
Well, I don't read the comments anymore.
"An intellectual lightweight."
"She co-opted feminism,
"profiteering off her beautiful face."
That's nice. "Fuck her and her privilege."
Just stop at "beautiful face", Peter.
(GRANDIOSE MUSIC)
DAN: Just like the good old days.
What are we having? I'm famished.
I haven't eaten since lunch.
Oh, look, Jon, there's goat curry.
Remember Peru?
I'd rather not. Are we sharing, or...?
I want to hear about what happened in Peru.
We just ate these beautiful llamas
that had carried our bags all the way to the summit.
that had carried our bags all the way to the summit.
You ate the llamas. I ate dahl and rice.
You did eat it. I saw you. I didn't.
But if it makes your story better...
You guys are monsters.
You literally ate the help.
Oh, it's just me. I'm the monster.
Well, I'm sure it was a great honour, and very tasty.
(JON CLEARS HIS THROAT)
Divorce papers, really?
Jon thought it might be fun if we all signed together.
Wow. I mean, time and a place, you know.
Not that I'm officially your lawyer,
I'm just advising both of you.
WAITRESS: Ready to order?
Sorry, could you just give us a minute?
We're trying to finalise our divorce.
Thanks.
Can't you do anything in private?
What? Me? What are you talking about?
I just don't understand why signing your divorce papers
has to become a thing.
Well, it doesn't.
We're trying to view this as a life change
rather than something traumatic.
Well, I think you're trying too hard.
Oh, come on, Luce.
You were such a big part of our marriage,
we just... we want to involve you in the...
The divorce part.
Yep. Mm.
(JON CLEARS THROAT)
Just put it away, Jon. Yeah.
Can we sign, please?
Can we sign, please?
Just, quickly.
Come on, just there.
There you go.
You're unreal.
And, Luce, just at the bottom.
Done. We're divorced.
Yay. Cheers.
Cheers. (HALF-LAUGHS)
Well, actually, you're going to have to file those to the courts,
and if you haven't forgotten anything in about eight weeks,
it'll be finalised, so, cheers.
(SLURPS)
(BABBLES)
(TICKS)
(FUSSES)
(TICKS) (GURGLES)
(FUSSES)
Penny, do something.
He's entitled to express his emotions, Opal.
Can he express them elsewhere?
Like home?
Or the bathroom, perhaps?
OK. Here's the thing. Uh-oh. Watch this.
Storm! Storm, my darling.
Where are we?
Home. Yeah.
That's fucked up, Penny.
Home.
It's pretty sweet,
but perhaps he is spending a bit too much time here.
He'll be on the payroll soon. That'd be nice.
Uh, Ev, can we have a quick chat?
Any more news about Norma's book deal?
Millennials are dangerous.
I read a thing in the New Yorker.
Apparently, they have no empathy.
Oh, don't worry about it.
Plus, she was in the wrong, not me.
Yeah, I just think you handled it in an overly emotional way.
Do you?
What would you have done?
Given her a pay rise?
Endorsed her book?
No, I just would have chosen my words carefully
and phrased it in such a way that she would have resigned.
Ah.
Well, you're clearly a better boss than me.
(SIGHS)
Oh, do you want me to go?
What? No, why?
For therapy Thursday.
You always disappear in here at 11.
Don't tell me you haven't noticed that we leave
all our biggest decisions till Thursday afternoon.
Why haven't you said anything?
Why can't people just say how they're feeling?
Why do we all have to be so scared of our emotions?
I hate subtlety, Christine.
I hate restraint.
I hate that fucking water bottle.
The plant needs watering.
The plant needs watering.
Let's fucking water it.
Ev, you're gonna drown it.
This plant as a metaphor is so fucking boring, Christine.
I'm going out.
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
Oh, so...
Evelyn? Robert?
That's me.
But you're so young.
How old are you?
Have you even had a relationship?
That's funny.
Please, come in.
What, are you in your 20s or your 30s?
I'm wondering what it's all for.
The work, the criticism, the disappointment.
Not in a midlife crisis kind of way, because that'd be boring.
In a more intelligent, existential way.
In a more intelligent, existential way.
Could it be that your identity
is linked to ambition?
Oh, I'm self-centred?
Evelyn's ego.
Case in point, I just referred to myself in the third person.
What else?
My by-lines, my click throughs, my retweets.
My wardrobe.
But what does it mean?
A sugar rush.
A high.
And?
Approval.
Approval? Bingo.
You are seeking approval.
Well, I'm never satisfied.
What's the barrier?
Well, I'm struggling to just make decisions.
I change my mind all the time.
I act before I think and then it's usually too late.
I act before I think and then it's usually too late.
I hurt people.
I feel like I've pulled the rug
from underneath Addy's childhood.
I want her to feel safe.
I want them both to feel safe in a way that I didn't.
(CLEARS THROAT)
And you're going to ask me why I didn't feel safe,
and I can't tell you.
Did I do the wrong thing?
Only you can answer that.
But I will say that our conversations are never linear.
I feel myself...
..quite fragmented just trying to follow you.
Well, I'm just trying to answer your questions.
OK.
And...
..you know, I think in...
..I think in stories and... and headlines,
and... and Addy's coming to sleep over finally
and I haven't even done a grocery shop.
So, I'm... I'm trying, Robert.
Like, I'm... I'm really trying.
I think there's more to this.
As a psychologist, I can't prescribe medication.
So with your blessing, I'd like to refer you to a psychiatrist.
Don't kids get high on that stuff?
Yeah, well, it has to be perfect.
It has to be the best sleepover ever.
Speaking of kids, I think we should promote Penny.
If we give her more money, maybe she'll put Storm into daycare.
Opal's on the verge of quitting.
Fanta, lemonade or Coke?
Uh, I always like creaming soda.
Oh, it's a bit retro for Gracie.
She's very modern.
I'm not getting it.
OK, well, what about Penny?
It's you I want to promote.
I want you to be Eve's editor-in-chief.
I'm going to focus on the big picture.
I've just told Peter I'm ready to sell. What?
I thought that we decided that wasn't the right move for us.
Well, I've changed my mind. Well, unchange it.
It's a mistake. You can't trust Peter.
It's not all about you, Evelyn.
Do I get a say in this?
Do I get a say in this?
This is going to be better for you.
This is the most unselfish thing I can do.
Liquorice!
Who makes blackcurrant? Oh, maybe I'll try it.
CHRISTINE: You heading home?
Yeah, soon. I'm just about to post.
See you tomorrow.
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
(SPRIGHTLY MUSIC)
? If I told you things I did before... ?
GRACIE: I like your dad's place better.
There you go. Thank you.
Yeah, me too.
Who wants pizza?
Garlic bread?
Salad?
Salad?
Is it gluten free?
Are you coeliac?
What's that?
What movie are we gonna watch?
Grease?
A Chorus Line?
The casual sexism is horrific, but the tunes are great.
No, Mum, we wanna watch a horror film.
OK.
(CHATTER, LAUGHTER)
Where are all your normal clothes?
These clothes are ridiculous.
Good morning. Hi.
Would you like me to make you some cereal?
Uh, I'll just have mushrooms on toast.
OK. Sure.
Addy, Earl Grey?
She's not here.
What?
She went home last night.
Wha...
Is this some prank? She went home last night.
She got scared so she got her dad to pick her up.
I think it was that photo of the old lady on the wall.
Angela Merkel?
Well, why didn't... why didn't she wake me up?
Didn't want to.
She's a baby at sleepovers.
I'll have an Earl Grey.
Everything's fine, alright?
She just got scared, she couldn't sleep,
so she called me.
She could have slept with me.
Well, we didn't want to wake you,
and you were snoring quite deeply.
I can't... I can't believe this.
I tried to call your mobile. It wasn't on.
Well, I feel awful.
We... we had a great time.
We were laughing and mucking around.
Gracie told me my clothes were ridiculous.
I taught them how to prank call.
Yeah, thanks for that.
Look, don't worry about it, OK?
We'll get there. Alright?
Alright.
(PHONE RINGS)
GRACIE: Uh, Evelyn, your mum's here.
And how's the tea coming along?
Am I a failure as a mother?
Be honest.
Darling, don't be so dramatic.
It's not you, it's this place.
There's boxes everywhere.
Your fridge is always empty.
Doesn't scream home.
Well, I've only been here for six months.
I've been very busy at work.
And why haven't you unpacked your books?
Because.
Because why?
Because they remind me of my failings as a writer, Mum.
I didn't know you wanted to write a book.
Well, now you do.
Tea? What's stopping you?
You're a brilliant writer.
White with one.
There's no milk.
Oh, and you're out of conditioner. Heads up.
Let's go.
Gallery opens soon.
Yep, let's go.
Am I coming?
No.
GINNY: I did the whole 24 hours the other day.
(LAUGHS) What a thrill.
EVELYN: You are nuts.
I don't see what the appeal is.
I don't understand it.
24 hours of time.
Why?
To illustrate we're not alone,
that we all do the same things at the same time.
Time is the continuum.
What should I do about Addy?
Maybe you're right.
She's struggling with the separation
more than I want to admit.
And I'm trying to sell Eve, so I can spend more time with her.
And Alex.
Do you think I speak in non-linear patterns?
Do you think I speak in non-linear patterns?
Work makes you a better mother, Ev.
It's just like me.
(SCOFFS)
What?
My therapist
says that I've been seeking approval my whole life.
I don't think a therapist would say that.
They may have revealed it to you.
I've been seeking your approval.
And what do you want me to say to that?
There's not a thing you've done I haven't approved of.
From rolling over to giving birth
to starting up your own business.
That has amazed me.
Well... I didn't know that.
So are you saying that it's all been in my head?
That I have...
..a nurturing, loving mother?
I'm in therapy, Mum.
I can tell.
I'm pleased.
Look at that.
The mechanism.
The perfect structure.
Chaos keeps time moving forward.
I think, Ev, you project your own self-doubt.
And I think you're seeking your own approval, not mine.
Addy will come back to you, or you'll come back to her.
Here we go.
(TICKING)
Are you ready?
(TICKING)
(BELLS TOLLING)
It's called bird nesting.
It's called bird nesting.
You and I would move between the houses
and the kids would just stay put.
Yeah, it's not really convenient for me though, is it?
I mean, here's a lot closer to work,
and who's going to walk Finn?
I will. I'll walk the dog.
No, you won't.
Yes, I will.
Jon, the current situation's not working for me.
I miss them terribly.
Please, let's just try.
OK. Uh...
What about other people?
What do you mean?
Well, can we have other people to stay at the apartment?
Sleepovers?
Oh, women?
Oh.
Well, I can't believe you're actually thinking about that,
but...
(SIGHS) I just...
I just want to know the details
before I agree to anything, that's all.
Kids! Dinner!
Oh, well, I've only got one set of sheets at the apartment,
so...
Are you seeing someone?
No, Evelyn,
No, Evelyn,
I'm just thinking about the future.
Well, let's just cross that bridge when we come to it.
OK. (DOOR CLOSES)
Are you inviting me for dinner?
Would you like to stay for dinner?
Yes, please. OK.
Darling! Hi!
Oh, hi, Mum.
(CHUCKLES)
I'm staying for dinner.
Cool.
So, this is the nest?
Yep.
And Dad and I are the birds.
And you guys never have to leave.
So we're flightless birds?
What kind of bird are you?
Um, a quiet one.
With colourful feathers.
What do you think?
Mum, I don't mind coming to your house.
I like my room. It's dark. Yeah, it's good, isn't it?
This way you won't have to worry about packing your textbooks
and your bloody football boots.
Addy?
Well, it sounds a bit weird, doesn't it?
It is a bit weird.
It's not weird. It's Swedish.
And it's about preserving the family home.
And it's about preserving the family home.
But we're not a family anymore.
Yes, we are, Addy. Yes, we are!
Alex, did you drop your resume into that deli?
No. Why not?
Because I'm not going to go work in sub-human conditions
for $10 an hour, am I?
Sub-human? (MOCK-LAUGHS)
The staff there dress better than I do.
Well, he could work for you, Mum.
Now, that would be exploitation.
(LAUGHS)
Does it pay well, though? Nah.
SONG: ? Right through the revolution
? Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping
? Into the future
? Time keeps on slipping... ?
Why are you giving away all these beautiful clothes?
I'm having a bit of a cleanse.
PAUL: I don't suppose there's any man style...
You'll look great in that.
Quick, before the vultures swoop.
Thanks. Who are they for?
Oh, my girlfriend.
I didn't know you had a girlfriend.
I didn't know you had a girlfriend.
Well, I don't exactly, because it's not official,
but I am hopeful.
That would look really good on me.
No. No. Yes, it would.
I'm gonna sell it. That one's for Christine.
I can't. Really? (PHONE RINGS)
Yeah, I want you to have it.
Oh, I love it.
Evelyn, call.
Sophie?
Paul, you should try that on. It looks good, though.
(PHONE BEEPS)
I knew she couldn't do it.
She's inexperienced.
Looking for another job and asked if we have any vacancies.
Is Fontaine closing?
Looks like it.
Oh, this is good for us.
Peter should be calling any minute.
I mean, is it? Do we want to be associated with a sinking ship?
Fontaine closing means more funds for us.
Come on, let's get brainstorming.
I want to be ready for when Peter calls.
(CLEARS THROAT)
OK, right.
Start throwing ideas at me
on how to take Eve to the next level.
Anything you can think of.
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
Podcasting.
Mmm. You sure?
Yes. Start brainstorming some ideas ASAP.
Opal, feet. A confession series.
We get our readers to share their deepest, darkest secrets
and then we open up the comments section.
And they're all anonymous.
And then people can be like, I don't know,
"I also regret having children," you know?
Yeah, I've got one.
It's a men's column.
Adam. OK?
It's gonna have stuff like fashion tips,
it's gonna have, like, friendship,
positive male relationships,
camping, grooming, hygiene,
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu... Maybe.
Sex diary. Oh, yeah.
The sexual reawakening of a suburban mother.
No, instant turn-off. Why does everything have to be about mothers?
Because, Opal, I am a mother. (PHONE RINGS)
PAUL: Evelyn, Peter.
CHRISTINE: Guys, Penny's a mother.
OPAL: I would never have guessed.
PAUL: What do you think about Adam's column?
Peter, how are you?
Ev.
So, here's the thing.
I wasn't completely honest the other day.
OK.
We have indeed changed the business model.
We have indeed changed the business model.
We, uh... we won't be buying Eve.
Right.
That's that, then.
There is one more thing.
We won't be buying Eve
because... we're launching our own women's website.
You're what?
And what about women's media being cute and niche
and unsustainable?
Well, I'm man enough to admit that you were right, all along.
And this is my reward?
Who on earth are you going to get to run it?
There's only about three... I've got someone.
Actually, they came to me.
I'm sorry, Evelyn.
Oh, fuck off, Peter!
So, change of plans.
Where's...
(SOFTLY) Yeah. I'll call you back.
(DOOR OPENS)
Sorry, folks.
It's you, isn't it?
Oh, fuck.
It is.
"Don't trust Peter," you said.
"Selling will compromise our integrity."
Integrity?!
You just sat through that brainstorm,
eavesdropping on all our excellent ideas.
And you knew.
If you start a podcast, I'll fucking sue you.
Say something!
I'm not doing this to you, Evelyn.
I'm not doing this to you, Evelyn.
I'm doing it for me.
And I tried to warn you about Peter.
You're not good enough to take me on.
(SCOFFS)
You're not creative.
You're a worker.
A follower.
You'll fail.
Wait!
Not the coat.
I need a drink.
Right.
This is what we're gonna do.
SONG: ? Bunny is a rider
? Satellite can't find her
? No sympathy
? Hmm, ain't nothing for free
? Bunny is a rider
? Satellite can't find her
? No sympathy
? Hmm, but I'm so non-physical
? I do, I do, feel like the lady
? I do, I do, fireworks blazing
? I do, I do, heart is unbreaking
? I do, I do, but don't drop my name
? Bunny is a rider Bunny is a...
? Satellite can't find her
? No sympathy
? Hmm, ain't nothing for free
? Dirty like it's earth day
? Dirty like it's earth day
? Can you cut that check
? Crush that wreck
? Run out empty on 'em?
? AWOL on a Thursday
? Tryna go ask Alice
? Tryna catch that rabbit
? But I'm so non-physical
? I do, I do, feel like the lady
? I do, I do, fireworks blazing
? I do, I do, heart is unbreaking
? I do, I do, but don't drop my name
? Bunny is a... Bunny is a...
? A rider
? Can't find her
? Eeh
? Ain't nothing
? Bunny is a... Bunny is a...
? Bunny is a rider. ?
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