Original subtitles

EVELYN: (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) ..rising to the top.

(MUFFLED LAUGHTER)

And that's why I say treat every day as a do-over

and never accept a job that doesn't exist.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Thank you.

Who will you be supporting in the upcoming federal election?

Well, we won't be making a general endorsement, but...

..personally, I think it's exciting

that we're on the precipice of our first female prime minister.

Elizabeth Myles has my vote. (APPLAUSE)

Hi, I am a mother of two.

Is this your son?

Him? Yep, Alex.

Yeah, I'm just wondering what it might be like for him

having a mother who's so unapologetically ambitious.

Oh! (LAUGHS)

Oh! (LAUGHS)

Alex?

Would you like to comment?

What do I do?

She's your mum. I can't help you.

Yeah, OK.

(APPLAUSE)

Go easy. (LAUGHS)

Uh, yeah, Mum... Mum's the best.

My sister and I are really proud of her.

Uh... I mean, like, there has been some compromises.

From the age of about six

I've had to organise lifts to my own birthday parties.

Oh! (LAUGHTER) Oh, and there was this time

she forgot to pick me up from school,

so I had to walk home myself.

And I didn't have keys,

so I had to try and squeeze in through the doggy door.

(EVELYN LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY)

And I got stuck there for, like, three hours until Dad came home.

Oh, and there was this other time...

No, that's good. He's Very funny.

He's the funniest in our family. (SCATTERED APPLAUSE)

Any other questions, for me?

Relationships at your age are about course correction.

And don't date a boy who doesn't love his mother.

And don't date a boy who doesn't love his mother.

What is that?

It's peanut butter and jam. Ugh, gross.

Says the guy eating yeast extract.

(EVELYN LAUGHS)

Shut up. It's like Australia's national food.

How can you... Uh-huh.

I don't believe in patriotism. It's dangerous.

Ooh, there's a good story.

Try and come up with five first-person stories each morning.

I've only come up with one so far today.

Sex before work.

Did you hear her this morning?

Mum. She's a maniac.

Anyway, we're running late. We've got to pick up Addy.

Don't forget your keys.

No doggie door here!

Are you sure Addy doesn't mind me staying in her room?

I wasn't expecting to be here this long.

No, no, she doesn't really come over much.

She prefers a family home.

CHRISTINE: I don't think we can claim disfiguration.

It was huge. Hey!

No, I can already see the backlash.

Let's get a quote from someone with genuine cystic acne.

OK, I'm thinking six signs you're a difficult first date.

Make it seven. Seven's clickier. Seven? Yeah.

JEET: A lot of people regard me as a difficult first date.

Who's done a wee? Child or the dog?

It wasn't mine. Not mine!

Mine's potty trained. Storm's never wearing pants.

Well, yours doesn't wear pants either.

He's a dog. Dogs don't wear pants.

Oh, it's the bloody building.

PAUL: Who's printing?

Oh, my God. What is that?

Vaginas. PENNY: They're mine.

I mean, one of them's mine.

What's the story, Pen? PAUL: Phone. I'll get it.

Viva La Vulva! That's a work in progress title.

PAUL: Hey, Christine, it's for you.

Do you know where the clit is? Yes, I know where the clit is.

PENNY: Party's over.

You were a little bit rude. No!

I'm going to take this in the cupboard.

This place is like a zoo.

Opal, I want you to do a make-up review on these foundations.

I've got to finish my Biggest Loser recap.

Jeet, can you do it?

Yeah. I haven't watched it though. Does that matter?

No, the make-up piece. Oh.

CHRISTINE: We got her! (SOUNDS HORN)

We got the damn interview with Elizabeth Myles!

Oh! Amazing! Awesome.

Right, when? Where? Where, Christine?

An hour tops, Wednesday, here. Wow!

Let's get it up on the site, so she can't pull out.

Exclusive interview at evelife.com.

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

What am I gonna ask?

What am I gonna ask?

What are you gonna wear?

Who cares?

Right, I've got to come across as credible, but approachable.

Aloof, but affable.

Like Oprah, but with style.

No. Why don't you splurge on something new?

You can afford it.

I'm still not pulling a wage.

Jesus, Evelyn, still?

Yep, still.

Oh, hey, did I tell you that Daniel's meeting up

with someone that he matched with?

No, you did not.

How do you feel about that?

I've laid some ground rules.

Like what? No doctors.

No going back for seconds.

What about age?

Does that matter? I was just thinking legal.

Well, the last thing you want

is for him to meet a younger version of you.

Well, mind you, too young and it's not a threat.

They're just neurotic and needy.

Trust me, I work with them.

Then again, too old and they become romantic

and desperate to lock it down.

No, actually, just keep it simple.

No-one younger than you.

OK.

OK.

I can't believe how calm you're being about this.

Can I have a word?

Mm. Jesus.

Yeah. I don't think I can write this review.

Not positively anyway.

I mean, look at me.

They go from snow white to albino.

You'd think capitalists would realise

they're missing out on half a billion women.

Well, then, write your story.

Make it your own, even if you piss off the client.

But don't piss off the client.

(GROWLS AND BARKS)

Ha. So this is Eve.

Hi, Peter. Hi, Christine.

Fun fact.

Do you know why God created Eve out of Adam's ribs?

No, Peter, I'm an atheist.

So while Adam was sleeping,

So while Adam was sleeping,

God removed one of his ribs and used it to create Eve.

And when Adam woke up, his ribs are completely healed.

Ah, organ trafficking. Good one, God.

(LAUGHS) Anyway, if this is about Gwen, I have apologised...

It's not about Gwen.

I want to take you out for coffee.

Sure.

So how was your reader's event the other night?

Oh, you really are keeping tabs.

Well, you've built quite a following, Ev,

in a relatively short amount of time.

300,000 daily visitors and climbing.

So, how much?

300,000 daily visitors...

No, how much do you want?

Excuse me? (SPOON FALLS)

Whoop! Sorry.

She thinks you're soliciting.

Well, I do want to buy you.

Peter, you are joking?

(LAUGHS) I never joke about business.

Hear me out.

We want to bring you back into the fold.

We don't want to change anything

because what you're doing is clearly working.

Yeah, well, most of the time.

Yeah, well, most of the time.

We're not turning a profit.

I wouldn't expect you to be turning a profit on your own,

but with us you could.

You'll retain full autonomy, final say.

Bring your team across.

Hire a fleet of new writers.

Bigger offices.

All the financial backing to make Eve huge.

Think of it as rocket fuel for your vision.

What about Fontaine?

Oh, you've said it yourself.

Print is in trouble.

I mean, word of its death is slightly premature,

but we want to back the right horse.

Oh.

(LAUGHS) Your personal sign on bonus.

I think you forgot the decimal point.

Just think about it.

You don't need to struggle to survive.

This is your chance to make Eve everything it can be.

I'll need to talk to Christine.

How is Christine?

She's really well. Shrewd as ever.

Get back to me.

You'll never make a bad decision wearing that.

(CASH REGISTER DINGS)

(KNOCKS) What are you doing?

Ah, breaking it in.

Mm.

Are you going to ask whether or not

she'll back same-sex marriage?

She hasn't given a firm answer yet.

And a not answer's as good as a no.

I think it's more important

that we focus on her being the first woman.

That's more important than policy.

Positions change all the time.

History is made once.

Hmm. Yeah.

Yeah, maybe.

(BRUSHES VIGOROUSLY)

(SLURPS WATER)

(SWISHES WATER IN MOUTH)

(GARGLES LOUDLY)

(SPITS)

Goodnight.

CHRISTINE: Can everyone wash their dirty teacups?

OPAL: You're not going outside.

And, Paul, empty the bin.

(OVERLAPPING, INDISTINCT CHATTER)

OK, team, looking good.

No, Penny. Has to go.

Daycare rejected him again.

Not Storm, the vulva wall.

We're not Playboy.

It's a shrine to the power of women.

Looks like porn.

Come with me, I need to talk to you.

PAUL: Brand-new suit. Do you like it?

Just sit down.

Peter wants to buy Eve.

What? Why?

Why are you telling me this

10 minutes before our biggest interview?

They want to bring us back in.

My guess is that they're scared they've missed the boat.

What do you think?

I can't stop thinking about four-ply toilet paper

and those tampon bins the dogs don't get into.

Yeah, no more worrying about bills.

Sparkling water at meetings.

An IT department.

Super. Paid maternity leave.

Super. Paid maternity leave.

No. What about decision making?

Unconditional autonomy.

You and the board.

They'll be all over us, just like last time.

Maybe.

Gosh, it's tempting.

But, yes, there'd be compromises.

There'd be conflicts of interest.

Like, we wouldn't have been able to publish

those untouched photos.

Maybe we shouldn't have.

Please don't.

OK, look, I can't think about it right now.

Let's talk about it after the interview.

What do you think?

It's pretty major, right?

I mean, I think you should sell.

Can you please keep this to yourself?

(CLEARS THROAT)

Beautiful, team.

Evelyn's jacket looks nice on you.

(ELEVATOR BELL CHIMES)

Oh, they're here.

Be normal. Act normal.

Oh, welcome to Eve.

We are so thrilled to have you here.

Thank you.

I'm a big fan.

Oh, fantastic.

What's your favourite segment?

Oh, uh...

General news from a female perspective.

Isn't that right? Yes, exactly.

We love general news from a female perspective.

(LAUGHS) Meet the team.

My deputy editor, Christine.

Lovely to meet you.

And you.

And Pat. (LAUGHS)

I was convinced you were a woman. So funny.

Lovely to meet you.

Just to confirm, we're not filming this, are we?

Just some photos for the website would be great.

And our writing team - Opal, Norma, Jeet.

Hello. Jeet's a Catholic.

Good for you.

This is Penny, and her son Storm,

in case you feel like kissing another election baby.

(LAUGHTER) A big one.

Oh, no, I wouldn't. (LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)

(STORM COUGHS) No, he's got a cough, from daycare.

Come over here.

It's Eve, as in the first woman.

I mean, I'm an atheist, but you know.

Can we do the shot now before her hair drops?

And can Evelyn lose the jacket?

It's reading very Mini-Me.

..a free and independent media. Thank you.

Oh, shit. Paul! Sales.

Hi. Paul Bowen-Clark, Director of Sales.

Such a privilege. Lovely to meet you.

Such a privilege. Lovely to meet you.

Thank you.

Thank you very much. And you're welcome.

Thank you.

OK.

Um, well, I'll take this off.

Just the two of us. There we go.

Alright, well, Jeet, make sure you get the logo in.

And, um, in focus.

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

OK, that's good.

Shall we?

It was a tough call, no kids.

And I often wonder if I'll come to regret it.

How do you cope with that?

It's challenging.

I sacrificed children for power and influence

so that other women wouldn't have to make that choice.

Women are damned if they do and damned if they don't.

Male politicians are completely immune

to that kind of judgement.

All of these challenges.

I mean, what's driving you?

Women have to be twice as smart...

(SOFTLY) Which isn't difficult.

..work twice as hard and be twice as effective

just to be seen as an equal. Mmm.

just to be seen as an equal. Mmm.

I'm trying to change that.

And I think platforms like yours are going to help.

(LAUGHS)

This was fun.

Yes!

I really appreciate the support.

Well, you have my vote.

Yes, and mine. And my mum's, so...

(LAUGHS) Great. Only 13 million to go.

(LAUGHTER) Thanks again.

CHRISTINE: Bye. JEET: Bye.

Bye, Pat. Bye.

Well, I want a cupcake. That was good.

(LAUGHS) Paul, you were a lot, but that's OK.

(LAUGHS) Oh. OPAL: She was so nice.

Are there no more left?

Is that the last one?

Yep. Oh.

Just... Aunty Evelyn will have that one.

ZUMBA INSTRUCTOR: OK, everyone ready?

One, two... one, two, three, four.

(LATIN VERSION OF FEVER PLAYS)

Oh, yeah!

LUCY: What's her bottom like in person?

That's your opening question? Ha!

Smaller than you'd expect, actually.

And she was surprisingly candid.

What's up with you?

I've been stalking Dan's date.

Stalking? In person?

No! On Instagram.

Oh. Well, there's nothing wrong with that.

I stalk.

Remember Chris Finlay, my Year 11 boyfriend?

Obsessed.

He's just got a Hungarian Vizsla called Mary.

Efflin.

She has a terrible nose

but the most perfect fucking boobs.

ZUMBA INSTRUCTOR: Show me, show me, show me.

Really perky.

ZUMBA INSTRUCTOR: I love that energy.

Oh, shit, they're natural, too.

I thought she was in her 40s. I know.

Evelyn, baby, I love you, but no phones.

Their date is tonight.

Tonight? Now? Yes.

Efflin, wrong way!

Can you come home with me?

Oh, I really have to work.

Alright.

Fine.

Oh, shit.

I just liked her photo.

Oh, shit. Shit!

Oh! Luce!

Oh, you're handling this just as I anticipated.

Oh, you're handling this just as I anticipated.

(SIGHS) I want a bottle of wine.

What do you want? Same.

Oh.

Hey.

Back already?

Yeah. My, um, appointment cancelled.

Oh, shame.

Daniel had an after-work thing.

An appointment?

Mm, haircut.

Billy's been calling for you, by the way.

Oh, I'd better go up and say goodnight.

(SOFTLY) I know everything about this new arrangement

and I want you to know I do not approve.

God. Of course she told you.

You, of all people.

You go on and on about the sanctity of marriage.

About trust, values.

You know what, Ev? It's actually none of your business.

She's my best friend. Everything about her is my business.

She's my best friend. Everything about her is my business.

She's not going to cope, Dan.

She thinks she's much stronger than she is.

It was her idea.

What was my idea?

These breast things hanging off the ceiling.

Oh, yeah. What do you think?

Do you like them?

Not really.

I'll leave you guys to it.

I'll be up in a bit.

She cancelled. Mm.

Probably having a nose job. (LAUGHS)

(PHONE CHIMES)

We're back on for next week.

What, your haircut?

Yeah.

Do you really need a haircut?

Yeah.

(GO (EXTENDED MIX) BY CHEMICAL BROTHERS PLAYS)

Just wanted to know, did you have any notes on my makeup piece?

The beauty industry needing to face up to its racist foundations.

Very interesting.

Thanks.

Is it ready to publish?

Uh, we just can't.

I'm sorry, Jeet.

We can't afford to lose a client at the moment.

I'm really sorry.

OK. That's OK.

I probably should've just...

But, you know, it's great writing.

Thanks.

CHRISTINE: Ev, can you come in here a minute?

Does no-one want me to write today?

Yep?

The Daily Convo want you on Girl Grill this afternoon.

The Daily Convo want you on Girl Grill this afternoon.

No, I have to finish the Elizabeth piece.

I don't have time.

Let's get Opal on it. What?

No, I... No, I cannot get on camera again.

I'm still being dragged over the Leila interview.

They want to talk beauty and fashion trends for spring.

Perfect! You're all over that, Opal.

You'll be great. Huge opportunity.

You can do it.

What about Leila?

Oh, Giles wouldn't have a clue who she is.

He's a fuckwit.

Wouldn't know art house from blockbuster.

So, do you feel pressure to adhere to...

Honestly, I just see myself as a director.

Leila McDermott, if you're watching, you are by far

one of my favourite indie mumblecore directors.

And, I mean... (LAUGHS) ..what was that?

NORMA: That guy's a massive dick.

I thought we were here to talk about beauty.

I have some thoughts on trans-seasonal fashion.

What happened? Was that as excruciating for you

as it was for us to watch?

(LAUGHS) I mean, seriously. Oh.

Everyone who left comments, saying,

"Who is this person and why is she so terrible at her job?"

I wholeheartedly agree.

I mean, those telling me to do better, I get it.

I honestly just thought we'd be best friends.

(SIGHS) Good on her.

(SIGHS) Good on her.

I would have hated me too.

(GROANS) Who the hell wrote those questions?

Ah! Me. (LAUGHS)

Don't be so hard on yourself.

I mean, I've had a few stinkers, haven't I, Barry?

Barry, can we get those up, please?

(LAUGHS) No, I think we're out of time.

But I brought my handbag.

Well, we don't do that segment anymore.

I cleaned it out and everything.

You were right, she nailed it. Opal, maybe we do have time.

Wait, what was it you wanted to talk about?

Fashion?

Trans-seasonal, specifically.

Specifically trans-seasonal? What does that even mean?

It means between seasons...

(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)

Ev, the gallery's up.

How are you going?

I don't know what you've been worrying about.

This is really good. Oh, that heading is a bit wordy.

90 characters seems to be the sweet spot.

I'll have a tinker when I get home.

Well, let's get it out there. Mm.

Opal! There she is.

You were amazing! Hello.

PAUL: Good job.

NORMA: It was actually really well done.

Penny! Yeah.

You hung it!

You hung it!

Thank you. You're welcome.

That was charming.

Ugh, this jumper does not breathe, though.

Must have been hot under the studio lights.

It was. It was so boiling. Yeah!

But my make-up was fine? Jeet?

Yeah? No, you looked good.

Your article is great and it deserves to be read.

We're going to publish.

I thought it was too controversial.

Well, we'll figure a way to spin it.

NORMA: Go, Jeet! Our very own moral conscience.

PAUL: Congratulations.

(CHATTER CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

Oh, hey.

I wasn't expecting you so soon.

Hi.

No, I'm OK. I've been sitting all day.

Wow, it's... it's a little weird coming back here.

Wow, it's... it's a little weird coming back here.

(BOTH LAUGH)

I never thought I'd say this,

but I've kind of missed this place.

Really?

Is it the view or the steady income?

Both.

Listen, I am excited

to help you turn Eve into all it can be.

We were a great team.

Were we?

Absolutely.

Well, you acted as if we were.

All aligned, pulling that issue together.

You sat next to me, proving the cover,

cheering me on when we went to print.

And then we didn't sell.

And where were you?

Because I was held solely accountable.

Why do men always do that?

Wipe their hands of failure and then get promoted for it.

You're sounding a little emotional.

Am I?

Am I?

Ha.

You know what?

You wanting to buy Eve is all the validation that I need.

Look, you had the right idea, just at the wrong time,

that's all.

What happened was just business.

So what happens next time?

Same thing?

Peter, being a good boss is about embracing the mess.

Embracing failure and backing your team.

So?

So, I can't do it.

(CHUCKLES)

I think you're making a huge mistake,

so let's say we keep this door open for now.

Yeah?

OK.

But I'm good.

I'll see myself out.

But I need your swipe to get down in the lift.

(THORN IN MY SIDE BY EURYTHMICS PLAYS)

? Yeah!

? You gave me such a bad time

? Tried to hurt me

? But now I know

? Thorn in my side

? You know that's all you ever were

? A bundle of lies

? You know that's all that it was worth

? I should have known better

? But I trusted you at first

? I should have known better

? But I got what I deserved

? But I got what I deserved

? Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa

? To run away from you ? So run, run, run, run

? Was all that I could do

? Run, run, run, run

? Was all that I could do

? Thorn in my side

? You know that's all you'll ever be

? So don't think you know better

? 'Cause that's what you mean to me

? Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa

? To run away from you

? Run, run, run, run

? Was all that I could do

? So run, run, run, run... ?

? So run, run, run, run... ?

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0