Original subtitles

- Paul! - Mom!

- I cant go anywhere near Keri until the hearing.

- The important thing is youre safe now.

- Thank you.

- Ive been supervising visits with his kids for 2 months.

Its just so hard to understand

how he could go from being so sweet and loving with the girls,

and then just...

- So they told me to come here, that, uh, it would help my case.

- I just need you to understand that Im with Laura now,

and, uh, I really want to make this relationship work, so...

- If you dont want to be in your kids life, thats fine.

Please dont use your girlfriend as excuse.

And now Im worried about losing this kid I love like crazy.

Anyways, I guess you can relate.

Now that Im about to become a mother,

I find myself thinking about Mom.

I just wish we would talk about her sometime.

- We could do that, sometime.

- You cant force your father to be more present.

- We have never been a priority for you.

Just get the fuck out.

(Laughing)

♪ ♪ ♪

- ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday, dear Mia ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

(Laughing)

- Its my birthday tomorrow.

- Happy birthday.

- Im gonna be 40.

- How are you feeling about that?

- Well, its my third time, so Im starting to get used to it.

Sorry.

Its an inside joke,

between me and, well, I guess me.

Does that count as self-love?

Telling jokes only I get?

- Depends on if the jokes on you.

- Hmm.

Its also the age my mom was when she died.

That freaks me out a bit.

Im worried about what comes next.

- Do you feel like youre ready

to talk about what it meant to you to lose your mother?

- Thats painful.

Sometimes, I blame her for dying.

- I like it.

- Uh, this would be Jareds room

if Im allowed to have him overnight.

- I thought all that was settled.

- Apparently not.

And this will be the nursery.

- Oh! Do you like your room, little one?

You talk to it, dont you?

Its important for it to hear your voice.

Just sing a few lullabies to it every evening

so that he, she or they dont inherit our trademark anxiety.

Makes a big difference.

- Well, it hears my voice constantly.

I dont need to sing or speak to it.

And what if it hates lullabies

or cooing or whatever, like me?

- Well, youll be happy here.

- Yep, its a really nice place.

- You freaking out?

- Everything OK?

- Yeah, Pauls really calmed down.

Our lawyers are talking.

Maybe we wont have to hide out much longer.

- Hmm. OK.

- We all want to get out of here.

- And go where, though?

- Not sure yet.

- OK, well, if you need anything, uh, Im around.

- Yeah.

All right, girls, we gotta go.

- Wheres Jared?

- Hes with his dad today.

- Oh, OK.

- All right, have a good time!

- Bye, Mom! - Bye. I love you guys.

- Theyll be fine.

(Chuckling)

- Bye. - Bye.

- Thank you, Daddy! I love it.

- Mines so pretty! - Mine too!

- Just ride them around here to start, all right? OK?

- OK!

- So, this is probably the last time

youll have to supervise us.

- Keri mentioned that.

- Yeah, she might even withdraw the assault charges too.

- Really?

- Hey, Id appreciate it if you, uh,

if you testified in my favour,

you know, strengthened my case.

- What?

- Im only asking you to tell the truth here,

that these visits went well, that I cooperated in good faith.

You know, I didnt have to agree to any of this.

- I know.

- Ive changed.

You can see that, right?

- Are you still angry with Keri?

- No, not at all.

- Think youll be able to handle it

when you find out shes seeing someone?

- She is?

- No. But she will.

Think youll be able to keep it together when that time comes?

- Yeah, Ive--Ive moved on.

- I know its not as easy as that. I mean...

I have to deal with Bryson and his new girlfriend,

and I gotta admit, it, uh, hurts like hell.

Its hard not to think about dark thoughts, ugly thoughts.

- What--what do you do with those thoughts?

- I cant force him to love me.

And Im seeing a therapist.

Its helpful. - Wa-watch out!

- Come with us! - Yes, come!

- Im gonna win.

- Do you mind if I take a bike ride with my girls?

Ill meet you back here in an hour.

- Yeah.

- You can follow me in your car if it makes you feel any better.

Up to you.

Wait up, wait up!

- Look...

I get that its your body,

but surgery, thats...

- Why is it such a thing for you?

- Because its... It makes me sad.

Its Moms nose and my nose.

And people pay good money for our noses.

- You need to stop with that.

- Stop with what?

- Well, its always "we," "us," "ours" with you.

We are not the same person, Mia.

- OK...

What are you talking about?

- You tore into Dad in front of everyone,

and then you name-checked me,

like it had anything to do with me.

"Liz and I have never been a priority for you."

- Are you serious?

That was two months ago.

Please dont act like he didnt hurt you too.

- But that doesnt mean I--I want to humiliate him

in front of our friends and in front of our family.

It just wasnt the same for me, Mia.

I didnt leave home like you did,

and I--I didnt fight with Joan every waking second

after we moved in with her.

- Yeah, you didnt have to. I did that for you.

- And youre not 15 anymore.

I accept Dad for who he is,

and I will take any time with him that I can get.

I dont want to change him,

and I dont want to put him on blast.

- Im sorry.

It wont happen again.

He did send me a message.

Uh, were gonna finally talk before dinner, so...

(Sighing)

- Wow. You seem thrilled about it.

- No, no, its... The babys kicking.

- What?

Oh! Oh!

Hi there, you! Hi, baby!

(Chuckling)

- (Robert): My dear Mimi,

Im writing to you before I see you

because I know I wont be able to find the words

when were face to face.

Coffees not too hot?

- No, its perfect.

- Speaking about your mother is, uh, difficult for me.

It takes me back to that day, finding her in the bedroom,

you girls abandoned and helpless beside her.

The horror on your little faces, Ill never forget it.

You dont find it hard to sleep at night

if you have one this late in the day?

- Oh no, Im usually OK if I have it before 5:00.

- That may be why I cant talk about it to this day;

Im too ashamed.

If you only knew how much I wish I could go back,

do it differently.

Its amazing how little wind there is here.

You know, if it wasnt for the traffic...

- Oh, come on, the traffics not that bad.

- But now I want to make it up to you,

because I would give anything to have my little Mimi back.

Id like to see you before your birthday dinner,

just me and you.

I love you, Dad.

- Thanks, Daddy.

For the coffee and for the walk.

- My pleasure.

- ♪ Happy birthday, dear Mia ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

- Wow!

(All cheering)

- Yeah! - Thank you.

- So, how about a little digestif

to wash down the cake, huh?

- Daddy! Youre driving.

- No, no, no, no!

Your father booked us a hotel, so we dont have to rush off.

His little Mimi doesnt turn 40 every day!

(Chuckling)

- M! Chloe made you a Tinder profile,

and youve already got a few bites!

- Ugh!

- Theyre actually not terrible, youll see.

- Oh my God. You guys are so cringe.

(Laughing)

- Mimi, did I ever tell you about your first birthday cake?

Well, it was an angel food cake.

Your mom made the mistake

of leaving a jar of hot caramel beside you.

And while we were cleaning up,

you were throwing things all over the floor.

And when your mom bent down to pick them up,

you took the jar of hot caramel and poured it all over her head.

- No!

- She had to cut her hair

because she couldnt get it all out!

(All laughing)

Let me know when you want to paint your new place.

Ill come into town and give you a hand.

- OK.

- Seriously, call me.

I want to be there.

- Thanks for a lovely evening, Dad.

- Thank you.

- Bye, Liz! - Bye.

- Love you.

- And?

- Its good.

(Phone ringing)

- It was a good night.

- Hey...

- Oh! There. See?

Told you he wouldnt forget your birthday.

(Laughing)

- Hi.

- Hi. Uh, Paul is here.

He really wants to talk to you.

Ill put him on.

- Hey. Uh, do you know where Keri is?

- Uh, no.

- I did something stupid.

(Sighing)

(Doorbell ringing)

- Hey, come.

- What did you do?

- Id go into a tailspin every time.

Then I would cool off.

Id be nice and loving and apologetic.

Wed have make-up sex.

But then the cycle would start all over again.

When she told me she was leaving me, I...

(Sighing)

I wanted to kill her.

- She said to me: "I dont need this in my life."

And she was right.

She didnt deserve to be treated that way.

Thats when I realized that my head wasnt screwed on straight.

I was making her pay for my mistakes.

Ive been angry for as long as I can remember.

Ever since I was a kid.

My anger is not her fault.

- The hardest part was owning up to what Ive done.

It was horrible.

All of it.

She would forgive me. She did.

But I wasnt able to forgive myself.

- Paul...

So?

- Well, that was, uh, pretty intense.

But, uh, thank you.

Uh, that really helped.

So, Ill see you next week, then.

- No, I think Im good.

Im not like these guys.

I mean, its not-- its not that bad.

- You know where to find us. - Yeah, thanks.

- Im glad you came back.

Its gonna motivate me to keep showing up.

(Keri laughing)

- Well, I was pretty rusty.

(Phone dinging)

- Could have fooled me.

- Everything OK?

Nothing serious, I hope.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, it is serious?

- No, no, no. Its not serious. Everythings fine.

- See you next week.

- Im sorry.

Im supposed to meet someone here for dinner.

- Paul is waiting for you in the kitchen.

This is for you.

Follow me, please.

(Chuckles nervously)

Paul.

- Keri...

- Hi. - Hey, uh, this is Simon.

Hes the chef here.

And he was kind enough to open the restaurant

just for us tonight.

Hes also my new boss. Uh, yeah.

Hey, can you start browning the butter for the veggies?

Yeah, heavy on the thyme, man.

She cant get enough of it.

And Ill get to work on the sea bream.

Youre gonna love this.

- I thought you wanted to talk custody.

- I do.

And, uh, and--and we will.

Its just we-- we have to eat, right?

Also, its just, uh...

one small way to say Im sorry.

- Did you really mean everything you wrote in your email?

- I did.

- Its really beautiful, Paul.

(Moaning)

(Both moaning)

- Whoa!

- Jesus!

I feel like were teenagers staying out past our curfew.

(Laughing)

- Yeah, just a couple of sinners,

hiding out in a seedy motel.

- Like when we used to hook up behind my boyfriends back.

- Poor Mark. I dont think he ever got over it.

- He never got over it.

(Both laughing)

(Thunder rumbling)

(Laughing)

What is that?

- I figured there might not be a lot of plants at the shelter,

so I thought you could...

you could use a little green in your life.

- You dont have to.

- Well, even if I live to be 100,

Ill, uh, Ill never have enough time to make it up to you, so...

- Think youll be able to handle it

when you find out shes seeing someone?

- She is? - No. But she will.

(Knocking on door)

(Shower running)

(Shower stops)

(Shower curtain opening)

- Did you meet someone?

- Did I meet someone at the womens shelter?

- Whos Steve?

- Hes, um, a friend.

- What kind of friend?

- Hes a guy from yoga.

Its motivating, you know, having a yoga buddy.

- And thats all you do together?

- We go for coffee after, sometimes.

- Well, your yoga buddy

sure sends you a lot of fucking texts.

- He suggests shows that he thinks I would like,

that sort of stuff.

- So, you come here to fuck me

while you keep him on the back burner, huh?

- Thats not true. Its nothing.

You and I hadnt even

started seeing each other again.

- You just cant get enough of men falling all over you, huh?

I love you, and Im trying to show you that Ive changed,

and youre starting something with this asshole.

You love it, dont you?

Having all these dicks on standby like a fucking slut.

- No, you cant speak to me like that anymore.

(Keri crying)

Paul, no, dont touch me!

Just leave me alone! Just dont touch me!

Just forget about me. Forget about us.

I never want to see you again. - I didnt mean...

- You fucking psycho!

(Breathing heavily, crying)

- So I went to the shelter to, uh, to apologize,

and they threatened to call the cops.

A woman outside told me--

- How did you know the location of the shelter?

- Well, that--thats where I drop off Keri after.

- Ah, so thats why you agreed to supervised visits.

Youre seeing her in secret.

- Keri asked me not to tell you.

- Did you even go to counselling,

or was that just all bullshit too?

- No, I went.

A couple of times. - A couple of times?

- I got what I needed out of it, all right?

- Obviously, you did not. - Please, I--I...

Now I just need you to help me find her. Please, call her.

Im--Im begging you. She wont pick up if its me.

- Why? So you can beat her up some more?

- Fuck, that was a mistake, all right?

Please, I...

I cant live without her and--and the girls. Im...

Im not-- Im not gonna make it. If...

Please.

- No.

You call me when youre ready for some real change.

- Come on, ple-please dont go.

Dont go, dont go.

- Dont you dare. - Im--Im sorry. Im sorry.

- I always end up at square one, no matter what I do.

I get the same result every time.

- What results are you looking for?

- Change.

Hi. Um, is Keri here?

- Keri!

- I dont want my life to be a waste.

- Whats up?

- I want to serve some kind of purpose.

- You think if you cant change the people around you,

that your life will be wasted?

- Jesus Christ, people are sick.

Mimi, come see this!

- ...straight for the restroom.

He emerged fully armed at approximately 1:25 p.m.

and opened fire when a security guard...

- Fuck, fuck, fuck.

It kills me to know that I cant make the world

a better place or safer place.

Its all meaningless.

And its even worse now that Im bringing a child into the world.

- Do you feel like you have a calling? Or a mission?

Is that why you became a police officer?

- Yes.

- To what end, exactly?

Be specific.

- To catch the bad guys.

Protect the innocent.

Guess thats naive, huh?

A little girls fantasy.

- I think you underestimate your impact as an officer.

The fact is, you have saved lives,

protected the innocent, caught the bad guys.

The problem is it doesnt seem to satisfy you.

- Its true.

- So, whos the original bad guy?

The one you need to catch to put it all to rest?

- My dad, I guess.

He left us, and that wasnt exactly a good-guy move.

- And whos the original victim?

The one you need to save?

- Mommys too tired to eat. Call your father.

Tell him to come get you and your sister.

(Line ringing)

- Daddy? Can you come get us?

- Well, um, its Wednesday, sweetie.

I come and pick you up on the weekend, remember? OK?

- OK.

If I could have just saved her,

even for a little while...

I could have insisted that he come or call 911.

- OK. And what would that have changed?

- Everything.

My life.

Me.

- How so?

- I wouldnt have spent my whole life feeling guilty.

And angry at him, desperate for his affection.

- Your father.

- I wouldnt have scared off every man I ever met

acting like this insecure little girl

that couldnt believe

that anyone worth having could love her.

And I wouldnt be in this situation either.

- What situation?

- Alone. Pregnant.

With a baby that doesnt have a father.

- You were just a child, Mia.

Consider Jared, for example.

Would you expect him to carry such a burden, at his age?

Maybe your life would have changed.

Its just as likely that it wouldnt have.

In any event, youll never know,

because you cant go back in time.

And even if you could,

once youd gone back and changed everything,

what would that Mia even be like...

without her anger and her guilt?

(Doorbell ringing)

- Where are the movers?

- I cancelled the movers.

- Yeah, well, the couch is not gonna fit in your car.

- No, I--I just, I came by to...

see Jared before I...

- Before what?

- Mimi! Are we supposed to see each other today?

- No, baby.

No, I just, uh...

I just came by to tell you that...

I love you so, so much.

- I love you too.

- Are you OK?

I... And I loved you too.

- Um, Mia!

(Crying)

(Phone chiming)

(Line ringing)

- (Woman): Welcome to Plan B agency.

Using the keypad, select your desired destination.

For the year 2023, press 1.

For the year 2022, press 2.

(Buttons beeping)

You have selected the year 1992.

State the reason for your trip.

- Mom, breakfast is ready.

- Call your father.

Tell him to come get you and your sister.

(Sighing)

- Hello?

- Daddy, can you come get us, now?

- Well, uh, its Wednesday, sweetie.

I come and pick you up on the weekend.

- Moms dying. You have to come right now.

If you dont come now,

youll regret it for the rest of your life.

(Line ringing)

- 911, whats your emergency?

- I need an ambulance.

My mothers heart is failing.

(Machine beeping)

- Hi.

- Mom!

You have to stay with us.

I need you.

- I would love to, honey.

But Im sick.

Its out of my hands.

- We have a match!

Were going to give you a complete cardiological overhaul.

You will live a long, healthy life.

- Im so proud of you, pumpkin.

You were very brave.

You saved your mothers life.

- So, shes not gonna die?

(Chuckling)

- No, sweetheart. No, she wont.

Ever.

OK, so, I checked with the office and with Joan,

and I can stay till the end of the week until you recover.

- Yay!

- Robert, you dont have to do that. I can make do.

- No, the doctor said that you needed help

while you were convalescing,

so just let me help, OK?

(Talking, indistinct)

- Chickens ready.

- Mmm. Good job!

(Laughing)

- Good night, pumpkins.

- I cant sleep.

- Me neither.

- Im too excited.

- I know.

You know Im always gonna be there for you, right?

No matter what.

- Time to go to sleep, pumpkins!

Its late. You can talk in the morning.

- Close your eyes. Ill wait for you to fall asleep first.

- And even if you could,

once youd gone back and changed everything,

what would that Mia even be like,

without her anger and her guilt?

- Happy.

Really happy.

- And whats stopping you from shedding that anger and guilt

now that youre 40?

- I wouldnt even know where to begin.

Im not sure I know who I am without them.

- The duration of the requested trip

will require a wire transfer to the following account:

transit number 8900423...

- (James): What would that Mia even be like?

- Youll see, sweetie.

Youll see.

- If you say so, Mom.

But please...

stay close by.

(Line beeping)

(Dog barking)

- Hey.

Thanks for coming with me.

- That was the deal.

- The new boyfriend is loaded.

He hired the best lawyers in the city,

and theyre-- theyre bleeding me dry.

If its up to them, Ill never see my girls again.

- Can you blame her?

I mean, take some responsibility.

You hit her again.

So, yeah, welcome to the consequences.

- Paul, its good to see you again.

Come, and lets talk in my office.

- Hello.

- Hi.

- Can I help you with anything?

- Sorry, I... I wasnt expecting to see a woman working here.

(Woman chuckling)

- Well, if only men can help other men,

and only women can help other women,

how will we ever find common ground?

Are you here with a partner or friend?

- Neither, actually.

Um, its a long story.

- OK.

- Hey, can I ask you a question? - Sure.

- Why did you go into this line of work?

- Ah, thats long story too.

But if I can prevent one victim from being assaulted,

I feel like Ive done good work.

And if we want the violence to truly stop,

we have no choice but to treat the suffering

of the people inflicting it.

- How do you do that?

- I try to remind myself

theres a human being sitting in front of me.

And even if it doesnt work,

I take comfort in knowing I did everything in my power.

What kind of work do you do?

- Well, thats the million-dollar question. Um...

Im a police officer.

But Im still finding myself.

- And a future mom?

- And that.

- You know, its all right to still be searching.

- I need to change.

I want to...

I want to show my girls how a good man should behave.

And, uh...

I want to stop hurting people with, uh, with my pain.

- This is the right place to do that.

- Its OK, Dad. We can handle it.

- But I still want to pay for the paint.

- You dont have to do that.

- No, no, no, no. I insist, please.

- OK.

(Robert talking, indistinct)

Yeah, well talk to you later.

- I love you. - Bye.

- Whats his excuse this time?

- Joans sister is visiting from Italy.

- Oh, not Joans sister!

- Take him as he is, right?

- Yeah. Good.

Remind me again why you let Bryson keep everything?

- I want a fresh start, for real.

- OK, but youre gonna need some furniture and some decor.

- I want to take my time.

- Why?

- To figure out what I want.

What I really want.

- Career change at 40?

Thats a bold move.

Any idea what youre gonna do?

- I dont know what I want to do.

I know what I dont want to do.

- Thought about community work?

I think youd be good at that.

- Yeah, maybe.

I dont know.

I just want to do something

where I feel like Im really helping people.

(Chuckling)

See, thats the problem with good beat cops.

You dont even realize how effective you really are.

(Chuckling)

- Yeah.

Anyway, I, um...

I just wanted to come in person

and tell you that no matter where I end up,

I really hope you still stay in my life.

My babys gonna need a good male role model.

And you are.

- Well, uh, dont come crying to me if the kid ends up a cop.

(Both laughing)

Im gonna miss you, Mia.

Come here.

You take care.

- Ah, total clean slate.

No job, no boyfriend.

I dont know if Im more excited or scared.

Im sorry. Tell me if this is getting too deep.

- What makes you think Im not deep too?

- I know you are.

- OK. And, uh, hows that?

- Just a hunch.

- Any other feelings in there?

- Excuse me, are you flirting with a pregnant woman?

- Oh, I--I hadnt noticed.

(Laughing)

- I know, right? You cant even tell from the back.

(Both laughing)

No, seriously, what I do need

is a solid male role model for my kid.

- Mmm.

For now.

- Count me in.

(Chuckling softly)

- She, uh, she laughed at me, in front of everyone.

When I told her how humiliating that was,

she--she brushed me off.

So thats--thats when I lost it.

You shut your fucking mouth!

Next thing I knew, I had her against the wall,

and then I wanted to, uh, I wanted to choke her, and, uh...

My little girl saw me.

I--I scared her.

What did I do?

(Screaming)

(Crying)

- So...

on some level,

you think that by hurting her, itll stop your own suffering.

Is that right?

(Crying)

Are you prepared to take a long, hard look

at your part in all of this

in order to stop the hurt?

OK.

Because once you do that,

thats when the real work can start.

(Crying)

OK.

(Crying)

- ♪ Hush, little baby, dont say a word ♪

♪ Mamas gonna buy you a mocking... ♪

(Sighing)

What am I supposed to sing?

- (Liz): Huh? - To the baby.

- What?

- Like, does it have to be a lullaby?

- I was sleeping, you know.

Um, hmm... Any song you love?

Just try something.

- ♪ When your day is long ♪

♪ And the night ♪

♪ The night is yours alone ♪

(Phone ringing)

Hello?

- Hes making a lot of progress,

doing a lot of self-reflection.

Hes on the right track, but I think he hit a deep wound today.

His shame...

We didnt think he should go home alone,

and we--we didnt know who else to call, so...

- I understand.

Well take my car. - No, uh, you can go home.

They--they shouldnt have called you. Thanks.

- Paul...

- Please, uh...

Tell my daughters, uh...

I love them.

- Dont do this.

- Look, Ive been going to this help centre

almost every day for a month now.

Where did it get me, huh?

Im a piece of shit, just like my father.

- No. Youre doing the work.

He didnt, thats the difference.

- Theyll be better off without me.

- If you die...

dont you see thats gonna hurt them even more?

On top of everything, you want them to carry that burden?

Your girls need their father.

They need you.

(Paul crying)

What would you be prepared to do if you had one more chance?

- Anything.

I swear, anything.

- Give me your credit card.

- What?

- Come on, hand it over.

(Line ringing)

- What are you doing?

- Welcome to Plan B agency.

For English, press 9.

♪ If youre on your own ♪

♪ In this life ♪

♪ The days and nights are long ♪

♪ When you think youve had too much ♪

(Doorbell ringing)

♪ Of this life ♪

- Paul Whitman?

- Uh, yeah.

♪ Hang on ♪

Hey! What do you think youre doing?

Put me down!

Hey!

♪ Well, everybody hurts ♪

♪ Sometimes ♪

♪ Everybody cries ♪

(Baby cooing)

♪ Well, everybody hurts ♪

♪ Sometimes ♪

♪ Hold on ♪

♪ Hold on ♪

♪ Everybody hurts ♪

♪ Hold on ♪

♪ Hold on ♪

- Mimi!

This is my brother, Leo.

I picked his name.

- Well, we might not have been the best couple.

But...

as parents, well do all right.

- Hes, um, a friend.

Hes a guy from yoga.

Its motivating, you know, having a yoga buddy.

We go for coffee after, sometimes.

- OK.

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ Well, everybody hurts ♪

♪ Sometimes ♪

♪ So hold on ♪

♪ Hold on ♪

♪ Everybody hurts ♪

Closed Captions: MELS

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