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[voice screaming]
[Woman] # Oh, where have you been #
# Billy boy, Billy boy? #
# Are you trying not to sin #
# Charming Billy? #
# I have been through loss and strife #
# To find the joy of my life #
# She's a young thing #
# And cannot leave her mother #
# Can she bake a cherry pie #
# Billy boy, Billy boy? #
# Can she bake a cherry pie #
# Charming Billy? #
# Yes, she'll bake a cherry pie #
# While her mama's getting high #
# No can save her #
# So don't you even bother #
# Can she sing a pretty song? #
# Billy boy, is she a toy? #
# Can she sing a pretty song #
# Charming dummy? #
# Yeah, she'll sing a pretty song #
# But she often sings it wrong #
# She's a young thing #
# And cannot leave #
# Her mother #
[thunderclap]
[male voice narrating] Well, the story I'm about to tell you
started back in 1993,
when this beautiful woman and I were doing
our ventriloquist act.
We were living in a wonderful place
with her two kids in Hollywood, California,
the place where dreams come true.
[thunderclap]
[knock at door]
You said you were gonna pay the rent yesterday.
I need a little bit more time.
I've already let you slide two weeks.
- My agent just called... - You haven't had a gig
in almost a year,
and there's not a lot of room in this town for a ventriloquist act.
[male voice] Leave us alone, you fat bastard!
[sighs] Listen, I'll give you till tomorrow,
otherwise I'm gonna have to throw you out of here.
Clean up this fuckin' mess.
[thunderclap]
[Man on P.A.] Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome here the Lady and the Dummy
for their final performance!
- ## [drum roll] - [audience cheering]
Angelina! Norbert!
Wake up! Wake up!
I don't think Mom's coming back.
That means from now on, it's just the three of us.
[thunderclap]
[Dummy narrating] And that's just how it was...
the three of us.
For a while, we were sent to different foster homes
until Angelina and Norbert's uncle was found.
[Woman] # Hello, sunshine #
# Over-the-top fun time #
# Skip-and-run time #
# You brought a new kind of day #
# Sleepy sadness #
# Yesterday's madness #
# Makes way for your gladness #
# Happiness is all you have to say #
# I've never known a morning light #
# To make my windows shine so bright #
# I had no inkling you could change #
# The mood I had just last night #
[chorus] # Hello, sunshine #
# Better than that one time #
# Beyond-comparison time #
# You chase the shadows away #
# Love is waiting #
# Anticipating #
# Sorrow is fading #
# Tomorrow is indeed another day #
[Narrator] The uncle never hurt the kids again.
And then, I remember being put in a suitcase,
[muffled] and I was in the darkness
for a very, very long time.
But, as I always say,
every dark cloud has a ray of sunshine.
And after a time, I was taken out.
And Angelina was all grown up
and so was Norbert.
We were a family again.
[Woman] # Headin' down this road again #
# I don't know where I'm goin' #
# Far away#
# Won't they let me go far away? #
# But it seems like #
# Things don't turn out the way #
# I always want them to be #
# Oh, me #
# Well, I'm a little crazy #
# I know I'm a little out there #
# But that's me #
# I'll always be #
# What you see #
# But no one listens #
# And no one cares #
# What I say or what I do #
# Fuck you, fuck you #
We didn't quite fit into this world.
As a matter of fact, Angelina said
there was only one night of the year that we did fit in.
Trick or treat?
Give us candy or I'll eat your feet.
Isn't that cute?
Two little cowboys. And what's the dummy's name?
Norbert. He's my brother.
And the puppet's name is Dummy.
And what are you?
I was savagely raped by Indians as a little pioneer girl,
and now I'm a whore that hangs around saloons
and gives blow jobs for whiskey.
I like to create backstories for my Halloween costumes.
[candy rustling]
[sighs]
There better not be any razor blades in this shit.
Do you happen to have an extra cigarette on you?
She was rude.
[whispering] She's a psycho bitch. She's crazy.
[Angelina] I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.
I'm almost 18, which means I'm gonna need to get a job.
Maybe as a model or a prostitute.
I don't know, but I'm gonna make lots of money.
That way, we won't have to stay with the foster parents anymore.
You said it, angel.
It'll be nice to get out of that dump.
I was thinking we could go to Vegas.
You can do your great ventriloquist act, Norby, just like Mom.
We could headline at the Mirage now that Roy got his jugular
ripped out by his own tiger.
Yeah! Vegas!
This conversation doesn't really concern you.
You gotta relax.
When's the last time you've been laid?
[blows raspberry]
Let's go.
Oh, look. It's nutty Norbert and his stupid dummy.
Go away, rude and ugly children.
Can Norbert talk for himself?
Norbert is a great ventriloquist.
He's the best of the best.
Why does he always need his slutty sister to stick up for him?
First of all, I'm not a slut. I'm just very sexual.
Our parents tell us you two should be in a retard hospital.
I've eaten putrid flesh worse than you.
Retard. Retard.
He's just a stupid old puppet.
You better shut your mouth, or I'll have Dummy cut your tongues out.
How badly do you bleed?
I'm outta here.
[relieved sigh]
[screams]
Your eyeballs will taste great with blood.
[shouts] No! Help!
No! No! No! No! No!
[hatchet blows landing]
[police radio chatter]
[Angelina screams] Help! Help me!
Oh, please, help me.
I tried to get him to stop, but before I knew it,
he used Dummy to kill the poor little boy.
Norbert thinks that Dummy is alive and has a soul.
He's gonna tell you that Dummy did it. Lookit!
It's a stupid, old, wooden ventriloquist dummy. It's not even alive.
He's not right in the head at all. Not right in the head.
Then he chopped the little boy's fingers off, and it was just horrible.
Mama always said he was Satan's child.
Look at these fingers. He'll never be able to use them again.
You'll take my brother somewhere where he can get help, right?
He needs help, you know?
You'll help my brother, right? Group hug.
[siren wailing]
Well, they did take Norbert away,
and that just left Angelina and I all alone,
so she had to come up with a plan to get him out...
a plan that involved making some money.
## [rock]
[Man] # Catch me on the wrong day #
Okay, okay.
- ## [stops] - That's good. We'll call you.
Next!
[Dummy] And now, live from Hollywood, California,
the sexiest act of all time,
Angelina and her very handsome Dummy.
Angelina's the one with the nice tits...
I mean, beautiful smile.
Okay, now here's the first joke. So let me ask you,
what's the worst thing about making love for the first time?
All that pepper spray in your eyes.
Ooh, it burns. It's horrible.
Hey, hey, what the hell is this?
It's a tryout for a strip joint.
Well, I just thought maybe your customers
would like to see something a little more different
than some young woman taking her clothes off.
Well, listen here, my little fruit cup.
Look around. This is a strip joint.
And if you're not gonna strip, get the fuck outta here.
Don't you know a classy act when you see one, asshole?
Yeah. I know what dummies are good for.
Firewood. And I got a match.
Yeah? I got a match, too.
Your mother's mouth and my dick.
Get the fuck outta here.
- He hates me. - Let's go, Dummy.
Obviously, this man does not read Shakespeare.
Oh, yeah? He hates you, too. He hates you, too.
What a freak.
The girl or the dummy?
Joey, give me a drink, for Christ's sake.
Why do I get all the fuckin' psychos?
[Angelina] Hey, mister.
Hey, honey, I told you,
we don't do dummy acts.
Well, I would like to show you how well I strip.
Ever had your dick sucked by a triloquist?
We can do it without moving our lips.
[zipper unzips]
[breathes heavily]
Oh, yeah. Yeah!
[moaning]
[crunch]
[screaming]
Fuck!
[screaming continues]
Oh, yeah. By the way.
Thanks for, uh, the car.
I've always wanted a red convertible.
# Well, I'm a little crazy #
# I know I'm a little out there #
# But that's me #
# I'll always be #
# What you see #
# But no one listens #
# And no one cares #
# What I say or what I do #
# Fuck you, fuck you #
[Woman] We've tried countless times
over the past six months to try and get in touch with you.
Our records indicated that Norbert had no other family.
Yes, I am Norbert's only family.
I, um... I had to take care of some business...
some highly secretive work for the government.
I can't really talk about it,
but, uh, I was in Iraq, Fallujah.
So, um, I just came back
to get things ready for Norbert.
Well, Miss Smith, as I mentioned on the phone,
your brother is not ready to be
out of a controlled environment.
You should be thankful that the courts allowed him
to stay here instead of prison.
But I'm taking him to Vegas
to do his ventriloquist act
just like his dead mother.
His mother was a headliner. Almost made the Carson show.
Angelina, I don't think I'm getting through to you.
Your brother's a very sick person.
I have worked with him for almost seven months,
and he's never uttered a single word.
I'm not sure your brother will ever be able to leave this facility.
But he's an artist,
and artists need to be free.
Did you know that he can actually talk
without moving his lips at all?
He's called a "triloquist."
It's really magic.
She's a bitch.
She's a fucking monkey bitch, and she hates you, Norbert.
She hates you very, very much.
I think she was attracted to me.
She's not gonna let me take you.
She doesn't want us to be together.
She doesn't believe that you're the very rare magic triloquist.
She doesn't believe in you like I do.
Group hug.
Although, you do realize
that I had to tell the cops that Dummy killed the little boy
and chopped his fingers off?
You do understand, don't you?
I did this so you'd have this nice place while I was preparing for us.
Norby, we're going to Vegas,
and you're gonna do your great ventriloquist act.
Look at all these pretty flowers.
You had all these lovely flowers
while I was working a strip joint, sucking dicks for a living?
She's a psycho bitch!
She talks in her sleep.
The secrets I know!
She's a mad woman, Norby.
- Run! - You know what, Dummy?
If I didn't need you to help get Norby out of here,
I'd stick a family of termites down your throat.
Hold me, Norby.
[thunderclap]
Okay, Norbert old boy,
time to take your medicine.
Aha. Are we playing hide-and-go-seek, Norbert?
I know you don't like to take your medicine.
What the hell? Jeez!
Shit, Norbert, where'd you get those clothes?
[Dummy] We're getting outta here, my friend,
[singsong] and ain't nobody gonna stop us.
[thunderclap]
Group hug.
Do you know how much blood came out of that orderly's neck?
You're turning me into a killer.
Of course, right at the end,
he did seem so at peace.
Just like us.
You know, I read somewhere that a person climaxes just before they die.
Or maybe it's the killer that climaxes.
I don't know. I'm not sure.
Norbert, now, I don't want you to be jealous,
but I got a boyfriend while you were away.
I hope he's a psychiatrist.
He likes to cook me romantic dinners.
Red wine, candles.
He loves to serve me red wine.
I like a good shot of whiskey myself.
I have to watch the hard stuff.
Get too many shots in me, and I'll fuck anyone and their father.
We're meeting my boyfriend in Vegas. He's got all of the connections.
I can see our name in lights now.
Bigger than Siegfried and Roy!
And you can hook on the Strip while we do our act.
No. No flames.
No flames!
[steam hissing]
Stupid, stupid piece of shit!
God! Cocksucker! Motherfucker!
Cocksucker!
Motherfucker!
God damn it!
Stupid thing never fucking works!
God damn it!
[scoffs]
I'm telling you, Norby, we gotta figure out a way to ditch that broad.
She's nuts!
She tried to get me on medication!
We've got to figure out a way to kill her.
[sniffing]
[sighs]
[sniffs]
Aw.
What a pretty flower.
He loves me.
Poor bastard.
We need to get another car.
[vehicle approaching]
Fags!
[vehicle approaching]
[tires screeching]
What the...
Stop!
Kind of freak show... What's with this?
Hi. Can we borrow your car?
[chuckles] I don't think so, but can I give you a lift?
Oh, my God! Is that you?
It is you. I mean, you're the guy
from that TV show, Magnum P.I. I
Yeah. I played Rick. My name's Larry Manetti.
I hated that show.
Thanks.
I'm driving down the road.
I'm drooling down the road, and I'm just having fun,
and I'm looking around, and, ooh, there's a girl.
I see boobies! Oh, my goodness!
Ooh, baby, who are you?
Hey, puppet boy, going my way?
Oh, I certainly am going your way.
Oh, I'm going your way!
Dummy, are you daydreaming again?
Get out of the car. You can't drive.
I wanna drive.
I wanna drive. I wanna drive.
[singsong] I wanna drive. I wanna drive.
I wanna drive!
She's losing it, Norby.
I feel she's starting to go to that dark place.
Our plan!
We've gotta come up with a plan to get rid of her.
[clattering]
[ride stops]
I wanna go again.
We're not made of quarters, Dummy.
I bet you guys would like to fuck me, huh?
[motorcycle approaches]
Men are such pigs.
[police radio chatter]
Oh, hello. Mr. Policeman? Hi.
You keep up the good work. We're all very proud of the dangerous job you do.
Would you like to join us?
Uh, no, thanks.
We're just grabbing a cool drink.
I'll tell you, it is a hot day.
I'm sweating worse than a serial killer with the cops on her tail.
Oh.
[chuckles]
You're not eating your food, Dummy.
Chili dogs make me fart.
Guess I'll just have to eat it myself, then.
[radio chatter continues]
Excuse me. That your car?
Oh, why, yes, it is.
You know you got a little problem.
I confess. I did it.
I'm guilty. Take me away.
Right. You got a busted taillight.
Oh, yeah.
I broke it with a rock.
My brother's a master triloquist.
I bet you couldn't even see his lips move.
I'd say he's pretty good.
You'll take care of that broken taillight, right?
Yes, I will. Thanks for pointing that out.
No problem.
[belches] Excuse me.
You know what, Norby? I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.
You're the last male bloodline in the family,
which means if you don't have a son,
then our great triloquist name will die out.
What are you getting at?
I'm getting at the fact that we need to find Norby a bride,
and he needs to have a baby with her.
Yes. You don't have a choice in this. We're going to find you a bride.
But we don't like strangers.
Oh, she won't be a stranger after we grab her.
She should be very pretty, young, and thin.
Don't forget big tits!
What about that one, Norby?
[Man] # Wait until the next time I see you #
# Motherfucker, you're mine It's all true #
# She can bake a cherry pie quick as a cat can wink an eye #
# She's a young thing, and I'd like to fuck her mother #
# Oh, early in the springtime #
# We round up the doggies #
# We mark 'em and brand 'em and bob off their tails #
# Round up the fillies and load up the wagon #
Yee-haw!
Who are you? What do you want?
We're your new best friends.
# Hush, little baby Don't say a word #
- [clicking] - # Mama's gonna buy you #
See if she's awake.
[loudly] # A mockingbird #
Yep, she's awake.
I think you hit her a little too hard.
Hey, honey, congratulations!
[singsong] You're gonna get hit!
[muffled screaming]
Isn't that beautiful?
You're gonna have a baby with my brother.
[muffled screaming continues]
We'll find a place to stay for the night.
Then we'll learn your name, and we'll have a great, big, family group hug!
Cover her with the blankets. Her mumbling's giving me a headache.
[Man] # Break it up, grind it up, One, two, three #
# Now you're ready to roll with me #
# 'Cause all we wanna do is have a good time #
# Eat, drink, smoke, fuck, and that would be fine #
# Check it out now #
# We got the beats, the beats that bump #
# Bang your head to the bass from the trunk, hey #
- # No, no, I'm never gonna grow up # - [no audible dialogue]
# No, baby #
# Never gonna grow old #
# Ah, yeah #
# As time goes by #
# Hey, don't be the one #
# To watch it go #
# It's all okay from now to whenever #
# Don't be afraid #
# To run them down #
This is the best time I've ever had in my entire life!
Do you hear me, world? My entire life!
# Big blue skies, and we're done for the day #
# When you're rollin' through the town where the angels play #
# Somebody pass me the blunt one more time #
# So I can redden my eyes and relax my mind #
[siren wailing]
Fuck! God damn it!
Motherfucking ass bitch pig! [shouting]
Motherfucking pig! God damn it, I hate fucking policemen!
[shouting]
Shit!
[police radio chatter]
- [muffled yells] - Sexy, you make a noise,
I'll have Dummy poke your eye out and eat it.
If he asks any questions, I'm just a hitchhiker.
Good afternoon, ma'am.
License and registration, please.
Oh, I know. He should be in a child's seat,
but he does get carsick from time to time...
I pulled you over for speeding. You were doing 85 in a 55.
[chuckles]
I'm assuming a really good blow job would put this all to rest.
I'm assuming you think that's a really good joke.
[muffled shout]
[muffled shouting]
You got something in the backseat?
- [shouting continues] - Uh, yeah.
It's our little dog. His name is Titanic,
on account of I tried to drown him when he was a little puppy.
You mind if I take a look?
Let me see your hands! Get out of the car!
Get out of the car! Hands up! Hands up!
Freeze! I'm telling you right now, you better freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
[shouting]
How'd you do that?
We can do magic.
[muffled sobbing]
[Woman] # Hello, sunshine #
# Over-the-top fun time #
- # Skip-and-run time # - [gunshot]
# You brought a new kind of day #
# Sleepy sadness #
# Yesterday's madness #
# Makes way for your gladness #
# Happiness is all you have to say #
- # I've never known a morning light # - [gunshot]
# To make my windows shine so bright #
# I had no inkling you could change #
# The mood I had just last night #
[chorus] # Hello, sunshine #
# Better than that one time #
# Beyond-comparison time #
# You chase the shadows away #
# Love is waiting #
# Anticipating #
Looks like you could use some help.
- Boy, this is my lucky day. - Not really.
[engine revs]
Everything looks okay. Your idle was a little rough.
- Might wanna get that looked at. - [muffled grunting]
Oh, no, no. Don't thank me. Your $300 is quite enough.
Watch your feet. It's a little heavy.
[tires screeching]
[muffled screaming]
[screaming continues]
You're very pretty.
[moans]
You don't happen to have a younger wooden sister, do you?
I didn't think so.
I'm thinking now would be a good time to split.
Leave Angelina.
Start the car!
[whispering] Norby,
climb over me and start the car.
Norbert, turn the ignition key and start the car!
Climb over me and drive outta here!
Norby...
[shouting]
Trying to talk Norbert into leaving me, huh?
Give me one good reason
why I shouldn't smash your face
into a million, billion pieces.
One good reason.
Because, uh...
Because l...
I love you, and you have nice breasts.
Aw. Now, that's a reason.
How's our new mother-to-be?
[moans]
Oh, don't worry. I'm sure my brother has plenty of sperm.
He won't have to fuck you too many times to get you pregnant.
You're gonna love Vegas.
We're gonna comp you to Norby's ventriloquist show and everything.
- [helicopter approaching] - [sirens wailing]
[guns cocking]
Get out of the car with your hands in the air!
Thank God you're here! They kidnapped me, and they raped me,
and it was horrible, the things they made me do!
They tied me up to that girl.
They made me perform oral sex on her.
My God, he's Satan's child.
- Get her outta here. - [police radio chatter]
Get out of the car! Now!
It's okay. Everything's gonna be all right now.
- Oh! - Come on.
Okay.
I'm being treated like a criminal.
I wanna report one of the officers touched my pussy when he handcuffed me.
Give my your badge number. I wanna report you.
Come on. Take this thing down to the station house.
Book it in as evidence, all right?
[engine starts]
Listen, as soon as he's finished up with you,
I wanna take you down to the station and ask you some questions, okay?
[siren wailing]
[police radio chatter]
That's one fucking creepy-looking dummy.
Are you looking at my tits?
[siren wailing]
Her brother never even said a word.
Only the dummy talked.
[thunderclap]
[siren continues]
[siren stops]
Detective Kinslow. I need an ambulance out at Highway 14 and North Road.
Better send some extra units.
Looks like I got two escapees.
Just two? You mean I don't count?
[gun cocks]
What a baby.
I think I saw his lips move asking for his mother.
Let's get some drinks.
I got your badge number. I'm gonna report you.
# There's no need to panic #
# Skinny niggas goin' down I know it's called damage #
# You got your whole body pimpin', shoutin', "This is my mission" #
[rifle fires]
# Baby, listen, I'm all in And you're the perfect friend #
# These are the instructions Take a look, and let's begin #
# Take a motherfuckin' look #
Don't move your fuckin' hands.
- Uh, all the money's in the register. - [rifle cocks]
- Do you have a car here? - It's in the parking lot.
I suggest you get in it.
I took the bus, but I can probably get a ride with her.
I think I'll just go with him.
What about some music?
What about some fuckin' respect?
All I want is a song.
[scoffs] All you had to do was ask nice, baby.
- Please? - Let's rock this shit, homie.
# [rap] #
# Tainted love #
# Yeah, it's tainted love #
# Yes, it is tainted love #
# It's tainted love, baby #
# It's tainted love, baby #
# It's tainted love, baby #
# Y'all, check it #
# And so she told me she was in search of a gun #
# So I introduced her to this little twist called tainted love #
# So I approach her #
# Intoxicate her like I'm supposed to #
# Searchin' for a place for me and her to roll to #
# Game's so deadly I'm addicted to fame #
# A true street hustler till the day that I'm burned, hey #
# Get with the program Forgive me, baby, God damn #
A girl as pretty as you must've been touched improperly
as a child at least once.
There's no crying on your honeymoon.
Oh, lookie this. A cell phone.
Need me to call your boyfriend? Is he good-looking?
[thunderclap]
"Robin Patterson."
That's a very pretty name, Robin. Like a bird.
I used to shoot birds with BB guns.
Is this your mommy and daddy?
How nice to have a mommy and a daddy.
I could use this.
Don't you just love the rain and the thunder?
It's so emotional.
I don't mean to pry, but you do menstruate properly, right?
We do need a baby as soon as possible.
We have to carry on our family bloodline. You do understand.
Norbert, unzip your pants and pull your dick out.
I'm gonna go ditch the detective's car
while Norbert and Robin do their business in private.
Dummy, make sure Norbert fucks Robin bird here.
We need a baby as soon as possible.
[door opens, closes]
[singsong voice] You better go do it.
Norby, Angelina's gonna be mad if she comes back...
Can't you help me?
I don't think Angelina would like that idea,
and her and I don't get along that well as it is.
Can't I just use the phone?
Hey, I can't even move off this saddle.
Norbert can give me the phone.
Norbert can't do nothin' I don't tell him to.
Norbert, why do you hide behind the puppet?
Why don't you talk to me?
Just like a woman. You never listen.
I told you, Norbert can't talk.
I do all his talking.
I know you don't like Angelina.
If you help me,
I'll help you and Norbert get away from her.
Huh.
You think you can do that?
Yeah. I can.
No! Who untied you?
It was Norby. It was.
I tried to talk him out of it, but he wouldn't listen to me,
because she used her girly ways.
You're a weak, weak little boy. Don't lie to Angelina.
Tell me, or I'll break your thumb again!
[Dummy crying out]
Let go!
This time I'll tell! I'll tell!
It wasn't Norby.
It was me. I untied her.
I did it. She promised me a blow job.
You did, bitch?
Get up!
Let's go.
Get in!
Tie her up, Norby.
What?
What are you gonna do?
- What are you gonna do? - You were a bad, bad dummy!
Bad dummies will learn their lessons.
No! Please!
Please, no matches!
Hold your tongue out.
Stick it out, now!
[whimpering]
[screaming] God, it hurts!
Norby, help me!
Do something! You bitch!
You bitch! You psychotic bitch!
Get out!
You're a dirty, dirty little whore.
No! No!
[Man] # I want you #
# You want me #
# I don't know #
# What will be #
# All I know #
# Is you're mine #
# Why can't you and I #
# Be one of a kind? #
[Dummy, echoing] # Can she bake a cherry pie #
# Billy boy, Billy boy? #
# Can she bake a cherry pie, charming Billy? #
# She can bake a cherry pie #
# Fast as a cat can wink an eye #
# She's a young thing #
# And should not leave her mother #
Oh, I thought that song would cheer you up.
How's your tongue, Dummy?
It's all right.
I wanna go home!
You don't get it.
Angelina controls everything.
She doesn't want you to go home.
She wants you to have Norbert's baby.
Why are you doing this to me?
- I told you, it ain't me, babe. - [sobbing]
Ow.
Ow! [sobbing continues]
No. No!
[Woman] # Oh, where have you been #
# Billy boy, Billy boy? #
# Oh, where have you been, charming Billy? #
# I have been to seek a wife #
# She's the joy of my life #
# She's a young thing #
# And cannot leave her mother #
This is how it should be, Norby.
just you and me and not that damn puppet.
Do you know how lonely I was when you were away from me?
Do you remember how Dad taught us all that magic?
All those tricks?
We need to have a baby,
and that baby will be magic.
# She's a young thing #
# And cannot leave her mother #
# Can she sing a pretty song #
# Billy boy, Billy boy? #
# Can she sing a pretty song #
# Charming Billy? #
# She can sing a pretty song #
# But she often sings it wrong #
# She's a young thing #
# And cannot leave her mother #
# Did she bid you to come in #
# Billy boy, Billy boy? #
# Did she bid you to come in? #
[thunderclap]
Moments like that can be so beautiful.
It's a special feeling when you know you're pregnant.
Do you ever get the feeling
that no one listens to you?
[thunderclap]
He's dead, Dummy, just like you.
He has no soul.
Why don't I have a soul?
Because you're dead, and dead things don't have souls.
If I had a soul, would I be alive?
You know, you're just one complicated dummy, do you know that?
Ahhh!
Ow.
[Man] # I see you #
# Motherfucker, you're mine #
# It's all true #
# Heard you wanna fight now #
# Well, bring it on #
# Come and get your bell #
# Because I'll show you how it's done #
# Explosion #
# Oh, yeah #
# Explosion #
# Oh-oh, yeah #
# Switch it on the lever to a red light #
# Turn into a dog now, watch me bite #
# Everybody's runnin'... #
Stupid, filthy, perverted Dummy!
Oww! Oww!
Ow!
No! No! No! You psychotic bitch!
What are you gonna do? [screaming]
[screaming continues]
When you die, say hello to the devil for me.
[screaming]
[panting]
I called my boyfriend in Vegas this morning,
and he's getting everything set for us.
But we're gonna have to leave pretty soon.
Dummy, are you looking at my tits?
[blows raspberry]
Mmmm.
I wouldn't want it in my mouth either.
[gibberish]
I saw a nice SUV in front.
Looks like it has a nice V-8.
Maybe we should borrow it.
You spit out the rag?
[singsong] That's not the correct thing to do.
Open up. Open your mouth.
Come on. Open your mouth. Come on.
[muffled gags]
[coughing]
Now, you don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.
[knocking]
[knocking continues]
[muffled shouts]
[Man] Hello!
Maid service!
Anybody here?
[muffled shouts continue, pounding]
I'm sorry, ma'am. I'll come back at a better time.
[muffled screaming]
[crying]
Oh, my God!
I'll go get help.
[body thuds]
[straining]
[groans]
I got ya now, little doggie!
Yahoo!
[singsong] I'm a real cowboy.
Look at him squirm.
Oh, his little eyes are puffing up.
Aw!
My little doggie died.
You're always killing people...
Don't blame me. I'm just a puppet.
How could you do that?
[screaming]
What is this?
We didn't kill the cop. Dummy did.
His picture's not even in here.
I guess I'm pretty much in the clear.
Look at my picture.
That's my driver's license picture.
Oh, my God. If they catch us, they'll do a lobotomy on you, Norbert.
They'll stick these tiny little thin needles in your brain,
and they'll squish 'em around, and then your brain's gonna be all chewed up.
Then you're not gonna be able to do your great triloquism act.
- [lighter clicks] - After your operation,
you two are gonna sit in a tiny little funny room,
and I am going to be in a chair with electricity.
Do you know how bad burning flesh smells?
Can't be as bad as burning wood.
You know, you are the main reason why we are in trouble,
and as usual, I have to stay calm.
[thunder rumbling]
I'm gonna need a plan.
We'll take the girl out tonight, we'll kill her,
then we'll dispose of the body in the dark, and then we'll hit the road to Vegas.
[thunderclap]
Looks like a bigger storm's coming in. That'll be a good cover.
She's really starting to scare me, Norby.
We've gotta come up with a plan to escape with that girl.
Are you talking about me?
Just mentioning how nice your tits look.
[thunderclap]
[sighs] Once we get into the woods,
we'll try to kill you as painless as possible.
It's not like we're animals, you know?
But...
if you do happen to get saved,
I would appreciate it if, at the witness stand,
you would plead the 5th concerning any questions about me.
Oh, that Robin. She's in big trouble now.
You guys want any candy bars? Nothing?
- Oh, no. Norbert, you? - Anything? Something?
Nothing. No, thanks.
- We're okay. - All right.
Start the car. Let's run her over, Norby.
Come on, this is our chance to kill her, be free.
She'll never see it coming.
Come on, Norby. We can do it.
We can escape. From her.
God damn piece of shit.
Damn... Ugh! Cocksucker!
God!
Eh, you chickened out, Norby.
We had our chance.
What'd I say about driving, Dummy?
# Headin' down this road again #
# I don't know where I'm going #
# Far away from... #
Good Lord must be shining down on us.
We're going to Vegas.
# But it seems like things #
# Don't turn out the way #
# I always want them to be #
# Oh, me #
# Well, I'm a little crazy #
# I know I'm a little out there #
# But that's me, I'll always be #
# What you see #
# But no one listens #
# And no one cares #
# What I say or what I do #
# Fuck you, fuck you #
Is there something going on back there?
Highway patrol emergency.
This is highway patrol emergency. What is your emergency?
What is your emergency? Can you hear me?
[whispering] Help me.
I've got an open 911 cell. Wait.
Robin P... Robin Patterson.
Blue SUV.
I think it's the kidnapped girl.
Hang up the phone.
[tires screeching]
[car door slams]
[dial tone]
You want to leave us?
You want to go, Robin bird? You do?
Then go. Go!
[shotgun blast]
I was being sarcastic.
Turn around. Keep moving.
Come on.
[pumps shotgun]
All right, this looks like a good place to die.
You're gonna dig your own grave.
Now, get down on your knees like a dick-sucking whore and dig!
Come on, down on your knees.
[crying]
Come on, dig a grave.
Once you dig your grave, Norbert and I will bury you alive,
and you will not be sad anymore.
Come on, dig!
I didn't tell you to use a stick. Use your hands.
You're a whore, and whores dig with their hands.
Don't make it easy on yourself.
- [coughing] - Come on. Come on.
# As time rolls by #
# Don't be the one #
# To watch it go #
# It's all okay from now to whenever #
# Don't be afraid to run and hide #
This is the best time I've ever had in my entire life!
Do you hear me, world? My entire life!
# Big blue skies and we're done for the day #
# When you're rolling through the town where the angels play #
That's sick!
[shotgun blast]
[trigger clicks]
[yelps]
Dummy? Get her.
[screams]
[screams]
Hello? Help me! Is anyone here?
[Man] Over here.
Who's there?
In the corner. I need help.
Who are you?
I'm the detective who helped you.
She tried to kill me. I managed to drag myself over here.
Do you have a gun?
Yes. My arms are broken. I can't reach it.
Fooled you.
You pathetic girl. I'm dead.
No.
Told you we was magic.
[muffled screaming]
You do what you should've done.
I'll be waiting outside.
[chuckles] Do the bitch.
Do the bitch! Do the bitch!
Norbert, listen to me, you don't want to do this.
You're not like your puppet. You're not bad like him.
Yes, he is.
He ain't got no soul, either.
Listen to me. It's the dummy. He's making you do it.
Make her stop talking.
Why do you talk through your dummy?
Why don't you just talk through yourself?
'Cause he's too stupid.
No. No.
Use the knife.
Slice her vocal chords so she can't scream.
Norbert, you don't wanna do this. You have a mind of your own.
No, he doesn't. I do all his talking and thinking!
Slit her throat now.
I don't know if anybody's ever told you this before,
but I think I'm falling in love with you.
Norbert, look at me!
I love you.
Don't listen to her.
I want you to kiss me.
She's using her girly ways.
Slit that bitch!
Give me the knife, Norbert. Give me the knife...
- [Dummy whines] ...and kiss me.
Kiss me.
Don't!
[both shouting]
She stuck my eye!
The fucking bitch stuck my eye!
Why didn't you kill her?
I told you to kill her, but you didn't kill her!
Why?
You weak, weak little boy, Norbert.
You are a lousy magician.
A great triloquist would've killed the girl, but you let her trick you!
And your magic trick didn't even work.
You're not a great triloquist.
Because I made it up!
There's no such thing as a magic triloquist.
Heh. You can't even talk.
You could never talk, you sick autistic bastard!
[Dummy's voice] That's why mom was so ashamed of you.
She didn't love you.
I had to love you.
Hey, Norby.
I made you think I taught you how to do the voice of the dummy.
You never did my voice.
It was always Angelina. [laughs]
You're no triloquist. Yeah.
[Dummy's voice] Norby, you have no magic.
[normal voice] Dad didn't teach you magic like he taught me.
It was all in your head.
Your sick, psychotic mind.
[gasps] Norby!
[Dummy] Kill her, Norby.
Kill her and we can be free at last.
Norbert!
[Dummy screaming] I'm burning!
[Dummy screaming]
There's no group hug this time, Norbert.
Help me.
I'm dying.
I'm gonna die tonight.
Norbert, you're talking.
You must be dying.
You are a bad boy, Norbert. Look what you did.
He might already be dead.
I told you. Magic.
- You wanna bet? - [Dummy groans]
Abracadabra this, bitch!
[groans] Norbert!
I hate you!
No, Norbert, you can't talk, you fucking creep!
[Dummy screams, gurgles]
It hurts.
It hurts! [groans]
The knife hurts so much.
[panting]
There, you forced me to do it.
Looks like we're gonna bite the big one, buddy.
We're dying now.
For sure, this time
Yes, you are.
You are both dying now.
I didn't think it would hurt this bad.
I'm starting to go.
I just hope I die first.
Would you sing to me?
# Hush, little baby #
# Don't say a word #
# Momma's gonna buy you #
# A mockingbird #
# If that mockingbird don't sing #
[crying] # Momma's gonna buy you #
# A diamond ring #
[groans]
[thunderclap]
Help!
[horn honks]
Help! Help!
Hey, Sergeant, look at this.
Looks like a... Like a doll's arm.
It belonged to the dummy.
Where's the rest of the puppet?
She took him.
They had to get to Vegas.
They had a show to do.
We've got it out on the air.
They're not gonna get far.
I don't know about that.
- They've got magic, you know. - [police siren]
[Dummy] Well, the girl was right.
The police never did find us.
But we never made it to Vegas, either.
And Angelina never became a star.
I think she became too depressed after she killed Norby.
# Where did I go? #
# What the hell #
# Makes me feel this way? #
# I really wish I'd know #
[Dummy] I tried to cheer her up the best I could.
# 'Cause I feel so alone #
I told her jokes, I smiled at her,
but nothing seemed to help.
# And my heart #
# Is a-crying #
# From the tears that I have for you #
# 'Cause I am so alone #
# Alone, alone, alone, alone, alone #
But when she discovered she was pregnant with Norby's child,
I never saw her happier.
She said it was Norby's soul coming back to her.
# I'm so alone #
# Yes, I'm so alone #
When Angelina was ready to give birth,
we found a nice place to have the baby.
We were only there a few days
when Angelina started to go into labor.
It was very scary.
# Where am I today?
Poor Angelina,
she died right after she had the baby.
But as I always say, there's a little ray of sunshine in every dark cloud,
because Angelina and Norbert are back together now.
And the baby?
As a matter of fact, he's very much alive. A healthy baby boy.
And the little baby looks just like his papa.
He looks just like me.
[baby coos]
[Dummy makes baby noises]
# Beautiful dreamer #
# Wake up with me #
# Starlight and teardrops #
# Will soon set us free #
# Sounds of the cruel world #
# Heard in the day #
# Hushed by the moonlight #
# Have all passed away #
# Beautiful dreamer #
# The prince of my song #
# Touch me and soothe me #
# With soft melody #
# Gone are the cares of #
# A life that's gone wrong #
# Beautiful dreamer #
# Awake unto me #
# Beautiful dreamer #
# Out on the sea #
# Mermaids are chanting #
# The wild Lorelei #
# Over the wavelet #
# Vapors are borne #
# Waiting to fade with #
# The bright coming morn #
# Beautiful dreamer #
# You beam on my heart #
# Wake to the sunrise #
# On streamlet and sea #
# Then will the tears fall #
# 'Cause we must part #
# Beautiful dreamer #
# Awake unto me #
## ["Beautiful Dreamer" rock version]
# La, la-la-la, la #
# La-la-la, la-la-la #
# La, la-la-la, la #
# La, la-la-la, la-la #
# La, La-la-la #
# La, la-la-la, la #
# La, la-la-la, la-la #
Subtitles edited by LeapinLar
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