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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
2
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All of existence will be
gone by the end of the day,
3
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:21,062
but whoever or whatever
4
00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,189
wove together space and time,
5
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,942
they left a way to put
things back together
6
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:29,112
if the universe ever
faced total annihilation.
7
00:00:29,946 --> 00:00:32,907
There is a portal in the universe.
8
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:35,160
I built this hotel around it,
9
00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:38,288
and on the other side... is the answer.
10
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:42,542
You're a sadistic lunatic who's
planning on gambling all of our lives
11
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:44,002
in another pointless mission.
12
00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:47,464
I can't do this without
you. Do we have a deal?
13
00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:52,802
You and Dad made some kind of deal.
14
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,471
What did you agree to?
15
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,056
I made a deal with Dad.
16
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:57,515
Why tell me now?
17
00:00:57,599 --> 00:01:01,561
Because I need you to believe me,
okay? That I did this for all of us.
18
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,439
I need you to trust me.
19
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:08,985
This place is a test and a trap and
a means of salvation all at once.
20
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,572
- Does anyone know what that sign says?
- Yeah. "Do not ring the bell."
21
00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:15,366
What you guys need to
know right now is that...
22
00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:18,119
Dad killed Luther.
23
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,622
And he locked me out of the tunnel.
24
00:01:20,705 --> 00:01:21,706
No, Dad!
25
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,585
And he rang that stupid bell!
26
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:29,756
Does no one listen to me?
27
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:36,471
The sigil is in the lobby
floor. It's the stars!
28
00:01:36,554 --> 00:01:37,847
Number Five! Quickly!
29
00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:53,988
This wasn't part of the deal.
30
00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:55,740
The marigold inside their bodies
31
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,659
is the only thing
that fuels the machine.
32
00:01:57,742 --> 00:02:00,036
He won't stop until we're all dead.
33
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,412
You're killing them!
34
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:03,164
Everything in life has a price.
35
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,424
Do you trust me?
36
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:18,221
Viktor, what are you doing?
37
00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:19,304
Stop her!
38
00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:20,765
Don't do this!
39
00:02:29,507 --> 00:02:30,566
Where is she?
40
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:31,985
Please take your hand off me.
41
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,653
Not until you give me an answer.
42
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:34,737
Screw this.
43
00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:38,199
Something's wrong.
44
00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:43,121
My power. I can't blink.
45
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:44,622
How do we get 'em back, you idiots?
46
00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:31,294
Your play, Gene.
47
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:33,504
Thank you, Jean.
48
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:39,344
Ooh!
49
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,639
Look at Merle. Big dick move.
50
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,224
Don't be using that language.
51
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,809
What? You're gonna lay me on
your lap and spank me, Milt?
52
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,354
Nothing wrong with a good spankin'.
53
00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:52,565
Trump.
54
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:59,030
- Thank you for the setup, Gene.
- You are welcome, Jean.
55
00:03:59,113 --> 00:04:01,241
You just got euchred, peewee.
56
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,576
- The hell with this, Merle.
- Yeah.
57
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,453
Let's find another table, huh?
58
00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:07,038
Game's not over, fellas.
59
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,708
- It is for us.
- Oh, all right.
60
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:13,544
- So I'll put you down as a forfeit, then?
- Says who?
61
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:14,921
League rules.
62
00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:17,799
Walk away, and you're
out of the tournament.
63
00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:23,011
They're back.
64
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:24,596
Yeah.
65
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:36,692
Gotta whiz.
66
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,111
Right behind you.
67
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:40,738
Oh, for Christ's sake.
68
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:42,991
Come on. Don't get
your boxers in a bunch.
69
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:44,575
We'll be right back.
70
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:51,791
I'm Dr. Jean Thibedeau,
71
00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:54,002
and this is my husband,
Dr. Gene Thibedeau.
72
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,670
Don't need your names.
73
00:04:57,171 --> 00:04:58,548
Don't care who you are.
74
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:01,884
Cash or trade, straight up.
75
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:10,600
Whoa.
76
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:15,273
What do you see, Jean?
77
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:19,736
Oh, Gene, look. Love on Loan.
78
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:22,947
Gene, look at the name.
79
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,700
Hargreeves!
80
00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:28,369
Oh yeah. Yeah, yes. I see it.
81
00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:31,748
Ten grand for the pair.
82
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,374
Ten grand?
83
00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:36,836
Best we can do is five.
84
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,756
This ain't a negotiation, pal.
85
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Ten grand or fuck off.
86
00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:44,635
Huh?
87
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:57,314
Good call.
88
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:05,530
Hey.
89
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,456
Nice shot, hon.
90
00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:17,543
Knew he'd be a bleeder.
Head the size of Jupiter.
91
00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:25,843
Oh!
92
00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:35,019
You knew I had trump
all along, didn't you?
93
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:39,899
You old rascal.
94
00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:06,426
- Where is he?
- Who?
95
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:09,637
Don't play dumb with me, Jerry.
I know he's here. Where is he?
96
00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:12,390
Hey, Vik! Are you here or not?
97
00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:16,060
Hey.
98
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,231
Amy, what... what's up?
99
00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:21,482
You know what's up.
100
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,485
Call me when you grow up.
101
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:26,529
Amy.
102
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,448
Well, that does it.
103
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:31,325
Vik's officially blown
through every woman in town.
104
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:34,537
No, that's not true. It's not true.
105
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:35,830
- Vik.
- What?
106
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:37,414
Phone call.
107
00:07:42,904 --> 00:07:43,920
Hello?
108
00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,631
Hey. Long time.
109
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,008
Luther?
110
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:48,592
How's it going?
111
00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:52,513
- I'm... I'm fine. What's wrong?
- Uh, nothing's wrong.
112
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:54,807
Why does something have to be wrong?
113
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:58,060
No, I was just calling to see
if you're going to that thing.
114
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,229
- What thing?
- Uh, Diego and Lila's thing.
115
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,106
Little Grace's birthday party.
116
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:03,900
Oh. Um...
117
00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:06,819
Uh, well, you know, I... I really...
118
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,821
I really want to.
119
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,282
It's just, you know,
it's our busy season.
120
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:12,366
It's my bar, Luther.
121
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,994
- If I'm not here to watch over things...
- You should come.
122
00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:17,163
All right? Just this once.
123
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:20,875
I'll think about it.
124
00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:34,222
T-minus five, four, three, two, one...
125
00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:39,310
The man who puts the ass in astronaut,
126
00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:41,354
Spaceboy!
127
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,955
♪ Sweat baby, sweat baby ♪
♪ Sex is a Texas drought ♪
128
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:02,833
♪ Me and you do the kind of stuff
that only Prince would sing about ♪
129
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:07,213
♪ So put your hands down my pants
and I'll bet you'll feel nuts... ♪
130
00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:09,966
Ah! Shit!
131
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:12,843
♪ You've had enough of two-hand touch ♪
132
00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:18,724
Yes!
133
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,643
♪ Come quicker than FedEx ♪
♪ Never reach an apex ♪
134
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:22,478
♪ Just like Coca-Cola stock ♪
♪ You are inclined ♪
135
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,562
Spaceboy!
136
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,524
♪ To make me rise an hour early ♪
♪ Just like Daylight Savings Time ♪
137
00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:28,191
Fuck!
138
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:30,486
♪ You and me, baby ♪
♪ Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
139
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:34,198
♪ So let's do it like they do ♪
♪ On the Discovery Channel ♪
140
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:37,868
♪ You and me, baby ♪
♪ Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
141
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:42,456
♪ So let's do it like they do ♪
♪ On the Discovery Channel... ♪
142
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:46,377
You were supposed to be on
Center Street 45 minutes ago.
143
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:49,880
- What the hell is going on out there?
- Relax, all right, I'm coming.
144
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:53,634
No! No! My job is not to relax.
145
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:56,095
It's to make sure you stay on schedule!
146
00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:59,974
Time is money, and your lazy
ass is costing me a fortune.
147
00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:02,101
What the hell is your malfunction?
148
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:04,186
I got the spreadsheet
right in front of me.
149
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,440
Top-down, best to worst performers.
150
00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:10,735
You know where your name is? At
the bottom! In capital letters!
151
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:12,028
Hargreeves!
152
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,279
I said I'm coming!
153
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:23,456
Why don't you pick up your phone?
154
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:25,374
- It's inside. Yes.
- Help me!
155
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,793
- Do we have peaches?
- We do.
156
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,420
- Sodas?
- We have everything.
157
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:30,880
- Take this inside.
- Yes.
158
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,048
Oh my God.
159
00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:35,426
Share with your brother.
Coco, stop crying.
160
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,553
You're going to Linda's
later. That'll be fun.
161
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,472
- What about the DJ?
- DJ?
162
00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:42,058
- Tell me what you're wearing?
- I'm not ready yet!
163
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,393
- Are the guests here?
- The guests are inside.
164
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,103
Give me a second. The
children are crying.
165
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,649
Touch that horn again,
166
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,320
and I'll drag you out of this Land Rover
167
00:10:52,321 --> 00:10:54,236
and disconnect your brain stem.
168
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,738
Do you understand me?
169
00:10:58,074 --> 00:10:59,074
Hi, Steven.
170
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,450
♪ Getting horny now ♪
171
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:13,797
Fuck me.
172
00:11:27,837 --> 00:11:28,853
Oh no!
173
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,981
I always wanna look
good for the paparazzi,
174
00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:33,693
so this is a job for Toss N' Wash,
175
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:37,238
the no-nonsense, petroleum, and
artificial dye-free detergent...
176
00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:38,948
- Cut!
- What?
177
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:40,116
Cut.
178
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:41,450
What is wrong now?
179
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,661
Uh, nothing's wrong. We
lost the monitors. Stand by!
180
00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:45,413
Wait. I have a hard out at noon.
181
00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,373
You're shitting me. Noon?
182
00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:50,292
Don't put this on me. I told Jill,
I have to pick up my daughter.
183
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:53,421
- I'm taking her to a party.
- You don't have somebody who can do that?
184
00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:57,258
Can somebody get me my phone?
185
00:11:57,341 --> 00:12:00,469
Hey, hey, hey. Hold your
horses, madam. Not yet.
186
00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:02,387
Uncle Klaus...
187
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,098
Start ignoring the rules of the road,
188
00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:06,100
next, the whole world goes to anarchy.
189
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,477
Trust me on this, Claire.
190
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,190
And now we go.
191
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,650
Quick, quick, quick! Fast.
192
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:15,985
You are such a pussy.
193
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,840
Do you have any idea
how many pedestrians
194
00:12:17,841 --> 00:12:19,650
are killed annually in this country?
195
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:20,655
Watch the puddle.
196
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:23,033
- 6,977.
- ... 977.
197
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,243
That's correct.
198
00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:28,330
One minute you're alive, and
then the next, poof, you're dead.
199
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:31,041
Forever. That's not what we want, right?
200
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:34,920
I wanna get home before climate
change ends the world as we know it.
201
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,255
Well, yeah.
202
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:37,338
Ew, ew.
203
00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:40,968
Secondhand smoke, three o'clock.
Come over here. Stay on this side.
204
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,555
You're fine, Uncle Klaus.
205
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:49,852
Yeah, I know. I... I'm fine.
You'll be fine. We'll all be fine.
206
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,188
My name is Gus.
207
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,856
Hi, Gus.
208
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:56,567
I've been searching for
the truth my whole life.
209
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,153
Then I found this group.
210
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:02,239
And it was like a lightbulb went off.
211
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,300
For the first time, I
heard people talking about
212
00:13:05,301 --> 00:13:06,535
what I was going through.
213
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:09,789
- Exactly.
- I realized there's nothing wrong with me.
214
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:13,250
- It's this timeline, man.
- Yeah.
215
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:15,336
It's screwed up!
216
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:18,672
- I know I can come here and say anything.
- Yeah.
217
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:22,384
I... I could say Sir Reginald
Hargreeves is actually an alien
218
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:25,721
who is secretly grooming a
cabal of teenage super soldiers,
219
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,891
and all you guys actually
know what I'm talking about.
220
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,684
Keep going.
221
00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:33,102
And now,
222
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:35,356
I have hope.
223
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,984
'Cause I know a cleanse is coming.
224
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,486
- Yes.
- Amen.
225
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,077
Thank you, Gus. Thank you.
226
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:54,166
How about you? Got
anything you wanna share?
227
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:57,961
Yeah, sure.
228
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,298
Hi, my name's Jerome.
229
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,300
Hi, Jerome.
230
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:06,512
I'm still new to all this,
231
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:10,015
but I can tell you folks, what
you're talking about is real.
232
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:13,310
You're not crazy.
233
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,938
I know because I've
been to other timelines.
234
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:19,859
I don't look it, but I'm 63.
235
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:24,446
I spent 45 years lost
in a future apocalypse.
236
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:28,200
And I was involved in
the Kennedy assassination.
237
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:29,743
Speak your truth.
238
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,704
All that's unraveling now.
239
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,832
I don't know what's real
and what's not anymore.
240
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:38,043
I feel like I can't trust anybody.
241
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,923
All I know is I'm glad
to have found all of you.
242
00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:46,385
That's it. That's all I got.
243
00:14:46,468 --> 00:14:47,845
It's okay.
244
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:50,723
Good share.
245
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:55,895
You wanna hear some real shit, kid?
246
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,355
I'll take you to a real meeting.
247
00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:07,656
You're late.
248
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:08,740
I know.
249
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:10,826
Mustache.
250
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:11,910
Right.
251
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:16,790
He's waiting in his office.
252
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,963
The Keepers function
mainly as a support group,
253
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:25,341
but with strong cult-like tendencies.
254
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:28,969
Membership is rapidly growing
across all metro areas in the US,
255
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:30,053
as well as Europe.
256
00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:32,598
It's all there in my report, sir.
257
00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:34,683
What's the organizing principle?
258
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,480
They believe we're all somehow
stuck in the wrong timeline.
259
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:44,944
Well... just a bunch of
loony tunes, if you ask me.
260
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:48,364
Drop this Keeper nonsense. Move on.
261
00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:52,117
I think it's time you got
back to your other cases.
262
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,578
Ladybug, Panama, Chicken Wing.
263
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:57,915
- Sir, I am making progress with this.
- Now, you listen to me.
264
00:15:57,998 --> 00:16:00,751
You have the makings
of a fantastic spook.
265
00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:03,212
A suspicious mind.
266
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,422
A love of complexity and detail.
267
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:09,051
A certain maturity that
most of my young agents lack.
268
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:13,514
Play your cards right, you'll
be running this place someday.
269
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:16,892
Thank you for saying that, sir.
270
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,230
Hey, buddy!
271
00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:26,860
Ah, it's good to see ya! How long's
it been, huh? About four years?
272
00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,779
Minus six months for good behavior.
273
00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:31,782
Well, you better keep that
up now that we're roommates.
274
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:33,245
The only reason I called you is because
275
00:16:33,246 --> 00:16:35,452
I need a fixed address for my probation,
276
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:36,954
and the feds seized my apartment.
277
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:41,083
Well, whatever the reason, the
universe brought us together,
278
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:42,584
and I think that's fun.
279
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:43,668
Come on. Let's go.
280
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,848
Claire? Klaus?
281
00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:56,932
Anybody home?
282
00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:58,516
Hello?
283
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,857
Another catastrophic weather event.
284
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:07,776
You do realize that we
have a TV upstairs, right?
285
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,364
Hey, Klaus, are you
going to the thing today?
286
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:13,490
What thing?
287
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:16,285
Diego and Lila's thing. It's
little Grace's birthday party.
288
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:17,911
- Not a chance.
- Please?
289
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:20,873
I need somebody to take Claire.
She's sleeping over at her cousins'.
290
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:22,583
- I'm not going.
- Yes, you are.
291
00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:25,419
Allison, attending an all-day event
292
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:29,715
with problematic family
members and alcoholic beverages?
293
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:34,386
I mean, that's a one-way ticket to
"Trigger Town, USA," if you ask me.
294
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,388
I'm just gonna stay
down here in my room.
295
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,307
Okay. Klaus?
296
00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:39,308
Yes.
297
00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:40,750
You have been sober for three years.
298
00:17:40,751 --> 00:17:43,187
Give yourself a little
credit, all right?
299
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:44,354
You can handle this.
300
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,605
Your faith in me is very undeserved.
301
00:17:46,606 --> 00:17:49,193
But, hey, why don't
you take Claire Bear?
302
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:52,196
I can't. I have a big callback
tomorrow. I need to prepare.
303
00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,198
Oh, which one again?
304
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:57,076
The Wichita PD pilot.
305
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:58,494
Wichita PD.
306
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:00,162
Sounds gripping.
307
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,340
It's a really big part, Claire,
308
00:18:02,341 --> 00:18:04,458
and it's between me and one other woman.
309
00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:07,461
This is important. I can't keep
doing laundry detergent commercials.
310
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,965
All right. Fine. But
you owe me, big-time.
311
00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:13,467
Thank you. Lunch. Come on.
312
00:18:14,034 --> 00:18:15,051
Not hungry.
313
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,637
You never eat.
314
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,139
- Like you give a shit.
- Whoa!
315
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,891
Excuse me! Claire!
316
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:22,600
Claire!
317
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:25,813
Would it make you feel
better to remind you
318
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:28,398
that we were exactly
like that at her age?
319
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:30,483
No.
320
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:44,540
- Where the hell are we?
- Come on. I got a surprise for you.
321
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:46,917
It's a, uh, little welcome-home gift.
322
00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:55,509
Yeah, don't worry about it.
323
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:05,018
- No, no, no!
- Oh, come on. Don't be such a sourpuss.
324
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:06,785
Look, it'll be good for you to reconnect
325
00:19:06,786 --> 00:19:08,272
with the family after all these years.
326
00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:10,607
Hey, this is not my
family. My family's dead.
327
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:11,859
Remember? The Sparrows?
328
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:12,942
Fine.
329
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,236
Either come inside,
330
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:17,322
or I'm gonna tell your parole
officer you missed your curfew.
331
00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:22,286
You have to at least stay for cake.
No one leaves before cake, Ben.
332
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,333
Hey, sorry. Excuse me.
333
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:31,420
What are you doing?
334
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,256
- Cake.
- We haven't even done the piñata.
335
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:38,385
Piñata first, then cake. What
the hell is wrong with you?
336
00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:43,140
What was it? A Ponzi
scheme? White-collar fraud?
337
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:44,975
Crypto exchange.
338
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:46,476
Web 3.0, baby.
339
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,729
Feds only went after me
because I'm an outsider.
340
00:19:48,812 --> 00:19:50,439
A fucking maverick like Elon.
341
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:53,358
Well, that and you
bankrupted 100,000 people.
342
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:54,776
The whole thing was a witch hunt.
343
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,461
Yeah, well, say what you will.
344
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:58,530
It's still good to
have you back. Cheers.
345
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:02,868
Ha-ha!
346
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:04,036
Gotcha!
347
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:08,540
Come on. It's been years since
we've been together like this.
348
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:10,792
Ever think maybe there's
a good reason for that?
349
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,085
Where's Viktor?
350
00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:14,046
Oh, uh, he said he was coming.
351
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:18,800
- What about Allison?
- Oh, well, she's usually a no-show, right?
352
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,011
Maybe it's better that way.
353
00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:24,181
Survived another one.
Congratulations, everybody.
354
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:27,517
All right. Please call
me before you go to bed.
355
00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:28,518
Yes.
356
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:32,022
Why don't you come on in? Just
for one little slice of cake.
357
00:20:32,522 --> 00:20:34,650
We've already talked about
this. Nobody wants me there.
358
00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:37,236
- That's not true. Not true.
- It is.
359
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,571
- Even if it wasn't, I have lines to learn.
- All right.
360
00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:42,616
Well, I'll tell
everybody you said hello.
361
00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:55,754
The money's decent, and I make
my own hours, so there's that.
362
00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:57,765
But my team supervisor
is a real dickhead.
363
00:20:57,766 --> 00:21:00,175
He's always riding the stick.
364
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,301
Yeah, that seems tough.
365
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:04,346
Most importantly, it's just a
waste of my God-given talents.
366
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,640
When do you think I'll be
hearing back from the agency?
367
00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:08,934
- Sorry?
- The CIA, bro.
368
00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:10,936
- You gave 'em my résumé, right?
- Right.
369
00:21:11,019 --> 00:21:13,897
- That's heading up the ladder as we speak.
- That's what I'm talking about!
370
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:15,857
You told 'em I know
multiple disciplines?
371
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:19,236
Hand-to-hand. Karate. Aikido.
Hapkido. Krav Maga. Jujitsu.
372
00:21:19,319 --> 00:21:21,029
Muay Thai. Kendo. Sambo...
373
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,156
Diego, I let 'em know. I told 'em.
374
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,104
... in a panic, you can't get to,
375
00:21:25,105 --> 00:21:27,452
so that's my new thing I'm trying out.
376
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,079
Hey, whoa! Hold your horses.
377
00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:31,665
Just wait for your Uncle
Klaus to get situated
378
00:21:31,748 --> 00:21:35,043
because right now, it feels like
he's about to hyperventilate.
379
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:38,088
Hey. Did I forget to
pack my little brown bag?
380
00:21:38,171 --> 00:21:39,548
- Claire! Come on!
- You're fine.
381
00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:43,093
- It's just a six-year-old's party.
- You're right. You're always right.
382
00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:46,638
It's obnoxious. Put that on the
table, and don't touch anything sharp.
383
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:49,850
- Soles of the feet.
- Klaus?
384
00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:51,727
- Hey, buddy!
- Hey.
385
00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:53,770
Good to see ya! Come here!
386
00:21:54,896 --> 00:21:57,691
Sorry. Don't touch. Spasibo.
387
00:21:57,774 --> 00:21:59,026
Right, yeah, of course.
388
00:21:59,109 --> 00:22:01,695
He is a germaphobe now and
extremely sober. Hi, Klaus.
389
00:22:02,554 --> 00:22:03,612
Benjamin!
390
00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:04,781
Klaus.
391
00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:06,867
Wha... When did you get out?
392
00:22:06,868 --> 00:22:07,908
About an hour ago,
393
00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:11,371
but I'm strongly considering
robbing a bank to get back in.
394
00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:15,041
Yeah, but just give me a second.
395
00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:18,295
Okay. Hey, let go of her!
Sorry, excuse me. Hey.
396
00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:20,672
What are you doing? Just string it up.
397
00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:23,133
You said you were on the
west side this morning?
398
00:22:23,216 --> 00:22:26,720
Yeah. I dropped off the kids, and
I picked up the piñata. So what?
399
00:22:26,803 --> 00:22:28,430
So this is an east side piñata.
400
00:22:28,513 --> 00:22:29,514
Excuse me?
401
00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:31,433
This is clearly an east side piñata.
402
00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:33,435
Check out the craftsmanship, the fringe.
403
00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:36,897
Okay, listen, we needed a
piñata, so I got a piñata.
404
00:22:36,980 --> 00:22:40,942
And right now, we need more
soda, so please, can you hurry up?
405
00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:43,820
Where were you this morning?
406
00:22:45,072 --> 00:22:47,115
Fine. I'll get it myself.
407
00:22:48,408 --> 00:22:50,744
Yeah? All right. I'll go get her.
408
00:22:53,413 --> 00:22:55,457
Bye, Donnie. Bye, Zack.
409
00:23:21,024 --> 00:23:22,901
Oh, oh, sorry. I was...
410
00:23:22,984 --> 00:23:25,195
As you were. I just need a minute.
411
00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:29,574
Tell me it gets better
when they're older.
412
00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:32,953
Tell me it gets easier.
413
00:23:36,373 --> 00:23:38,250
- Once they hit puberty...
- Give me that.
414
00:23:52,514 --> 00:23:53,514
That's better.
415
00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:05,444
You coming in, or you just gonna
linger out here like a total psycho?
416
00:24:05,527 --> 00:24:06,778
I can't. I can't.
417
00:24:06,862 --> 00:24:08,530
Mmm. Mm-hmm.
418
00:24:09,489 --> 00:24:11,616
- You can.
- No. Nobody wants me in there.
419
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:14,494
Nobody cares anymore.
420
00:24:15,078 --> 00:24:16,078
I don't.
421
00:24:16,538 --> 00:24:18,123
It would be so awkward.
422
00:24:18,874 --> 00:24:21,418
- They're over it. Let's go.
- No, Lila...
423
00:24:21,501 --> 00:24:23,503
Give me my... Hey! Give me my keys!
424
00:24:23,587 --> 00:24:24,588
Chop-chop.
425
00:24:26,256 --> 00:24:27,257
Come on!
426
00:24:27,757 --> 00:24:28,800
Li...
427
00:24:31,553 --> 00:24:34,222
Lila! Gimme my keys! Please
don't make me go in there.
428
00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:35,724
Allison, listen to me.
429
00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:38,268
- No... Nobody likes me here.
- You're being dramatic.
430
00:24:38,351 --> 00:24:40,103
I'm telling you, nobody wants me here.
431
00:24:40,187 --> 00:24:42,856
- Please. You don't understand.
- Trust me, you're fine.
432
00:24:46,109 --> 00:24:48,278
Lila, I'm too stoned for this.
433
00:24:49,654 --> 00:24:50,780
This was a mistake.
434
00:24:51,656 --> 00:24:55,535
You're right. This
is incredibly awkward.
435
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:57,287
Uh...
436
00:24:57,996 --> 00:24:59,289
Hey, uh, Allison!
437
00:25:01,541 --> 00:25:04,294
Uh... Uh...
438
00:25:04,377 --> 00:25:05,377
Hey!
439
00:25:05,962 --> 00:25:07,464
So glad you made it.
440
00:25:07,964 --> 00:25:08,964
Just...
441
00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:11,927
thought I'd pop in and say hello.
442
00:25:12,677 --> 00:25:14,012
- Hello.
- Yeah.
443
00:25:14,721 --> 00:25:15,721
Great.
444
00:25:17,432 --> 00:25:19,601
It's, uh, been a minute, huh?
445
00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:21,520
Since we've...
446
00:25:22,479 --> 00:25:23,479
Yeah.
447
00:25:25,148 --> 00:25:27,067
Yeah. Um...
448
00:25:28,610 --> 00:25:29,819
Is Viktor here?
449
00:25:29,903 --> 00:25:34,324
No, no. He's not here yet, but,
uh, he said he was coming, so...
450
00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:36,033
Yeah.
451
00:25:37,244 --> 00:25:38,453
Okay, see you later.
452
00:25:44,626 --> 00:25:47,837
I mean, you do the job,
even though it's killing you,
453
00:25:47,921 --> 00:25:51,633
and the kids, they suck
whatever energy you have left.
454
00:25:51,716 --> 00:25:52,717
Mmm.
455
00:25:53,426 --> 00:25:54,844
And the in-laws, I mean...
456
00:25:56,471 --> 00:25:58,473
I'm glad they're alive in this timeline,
457
00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:01,935
but that don't mean I want
them living in my house.
458
00:26:05,146 --> 00:26:06,481
And then there's Lila.
459
00:26:09,609 --> 00:26:10,609
You know,
460
00:26:11,486 --> 00:26:14,698
she told me she couldn't get
pregnant while breastfeeding.
461
00:26:16,449 --> 00:26:18,785
You can, by the way.
462
00:26:26,543 --> 00:26:28,503
Diego, come on, man.
463
00:26:30,338 --> 00:26:32,632
Some people would kill
to have what you have.
464
00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:35,218
You know? I mean...
465
00:26:38,138 --> 00:26:40,640
I know Sloane and I would
have killed to have this.
466
00:26:43,852 --> 00:26:44,853
Shit.
467
00:26:49,649 --> 00:26:50,650
You're right.
468
00:26:51,484 --> 00:26:52,485
I'm sorry.
469
00:27:18,178 --> 00:27:19,178
Viktor.
470
00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:24,351
- Who are you?
- Uh...
471
00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:27,854
I need you to get in the van.
472
00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:35,028
If my father has something to say
to me, he can come say it himself.
473
00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:37,030
Please.
474
00:27:37,530 --> 00:27:38,865
I don't wanna hurt you.
475
00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:42,410
I'd really like to see you try.
476
00:27:43,536 --> 00:27:46,331
I just... I really need
you to get in that van.
477
00:27:55,882 --> 00:27:57,550
Diego, where's the cake?
478
00:27:57,634 --> 00:28:00,011
You said piñata before cake.
479
00:28:00,095 --> 00:28:02,514
That was like two hours ago!
480
00:28:02,597 --> 00:28:05,225
Can we get this show on the
road? I have book club tonight.
481
00:28:07,310 --> 00:28:09,396
One, two, three...
482
00:28:09,479 --> 00:28:10,522
Yeah, Grace!
483
00:28:10,605 --> 00:28:13,692
... four, five, six.
484
00:28:13,775 --> 00:28:14,775
Now go!
485
00:28:20,156 --> 00:28:21,950
- Harder!
- A little more.
486
00:28:22,033 --> 00:28:23,034
All right.
487
00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:27,038
All right. That's enough. Good job.
488
00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:28,373
- Good effort.
- Good job.
489
00:28:28,456 --> 00:28:29,708
Come here, birthday girl.
490
00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:32,126
Yes.
491
00:28:33,628 --> 00:28:34,629
Oh!
492
00:28:37,215 --> 00:28:39,300
Wow. They really can't
break that thing, huh?
493
00:28:40,343 --> 00:28:43,263
East side piñatas are
notorious for their difficulty.
494
00:28:45,056 --> 00:28:46,558
Screw this. I'm starving.
495
00:28:49,102 --> 00:28:51,855
Out of the way, kid! I'll
hit you, son of a bitch.
496
00:28:53,481 --> 00:28:54,481
Oh!
497
00:28:55,150 --> 00:28:56,651
Come on!
498
00:29:01,197 --> 00:29:02,699
What the... What...
499
00:29:02,782 --> 00:29:05,243
All right, you asked for it!
500
00:29:23,928 --> 00:29:26,306
- It's okay, sweetie.
- My cake!
501
00:29:27,348 --> 00:29:28,683
What is wrong with you?
502
00:29:30,393 --> 00:29:31,394
I got it open.
503
00:29:34,647 --> 00:29:38,276
All right, just be cool, Jerome.
Anybody asks, you're with me.
504
00:29:41,237 --> 00:29:43,740
It's always so good to see you, Diane.
505
00:29:51,039 --> 00:29:53,124
These are the real Keepers.
506
00:29:53,208 --> 00:29:54,334
Best of the best.
507
00:29:55,668 --> 00:29:56,668
Oh, hey, Renee.
508
00:29:57,337 --> 00:29:58,630
People are talking.
509
00:29:58,713 --> 00:30:00,840
I'd love to know what you think.
510
00:30:03,218 --> 00:30:04,260
Excuse me, Larry.
511
00:30:06,137 --> 00:30:09,265
You know Hilary. She used
to know every single thing.
512
00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:10,975
So this is book club?
513
00:30:14,103 --> 00:30:16,064
Will you excuse me just a second?
514
00:30:17,398 --> 00:30:19,692
You blow my cover,
I'll rip your balls off.
515
00:30:19,776 --> 00:30:21,152
You're gonna blow my cover.
516
00:30:21,236 --> 00:30:22,262
Nice mustache, by the way.
517
00:30:22,263 --> 00:30:24,697
What are you supposed to
be? A Greek serial killer?
518
00:30:24,781 --> 00:30:28,243
I'll have you know this is
top-of-the-line horse hair.
519
00:30:28,326 --> 00:30:32,247
The real question is, what
are you doing here, "Nancy"?
520
00:30:33,331 --> 00:30:36,251
Let's just say the transition
from full-time assassin
521
00:30:36,334 --> 00:30:38,150
to full-time caregiver
to 3 small children
522
00:30:38,151 --> 00:30:40,296
and one chunky husband is no picnic.
523
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:42,632
I needed to get outside the house.
524
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:45,635
I saw a sign and took a chance.
525
00:30:46,135 --> 00:30:47,554
It's cheaper than therapy.
526
00:30:48,763 --> 00:30:51,641
But you know, these losers
might be onto something.
527
00:30:51,724 --> 00:30:56,062
If everyone can take their seats,
the presentation's about to begin.
528
00:30:57,814 --> 00:30:58,857
Come on.
529
00:31:08,241 --> 00:31:09,242
Who are they?
530
00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:12,495
You never heard of Gene and Jean?
Sure you're part of the right CIA?
531
00:31:12,579 --> 00:31:14,831
- Just spit it out.
- Okay!
532
00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:20,503
Gene and Jean started the first
chapter in Clovis, New Mexico.
533
00:31:20,587 --> 00:31:23,506
Since then, the movement
has been everywhere.
534
00:31:26,175 --> 00:31:27,175
Wow.
535
00:31:27,510 --> 00:31:28,678
Wowie!
536
00:31:29,387 --> 00:31:31,890
I mean, holy shit!
537
00:31:33,516 --> 00:31:38,021
Pardon my French, but look at
all these beautiful shining faces.
538
00:31:38,104 --> 00:31:39,731
It is too much.
539
00:31:39,814 --> 00:31:41,774
Thank you for being here.
540
00:31:42,358 --> 00:31:48,114
We have a big night planned, because
tonight, we will be discussing...
541
00:31:50,950 --> 00:31:52,744
"The Umbrella Effect,"
542
00:31:53,620 --> 00:31:55,788
and how I believe
543
00:31:56,623 --> 00:31:59,751
we can return to a restored...
544
00:32:01,753 --> 00:32:04,339
and correct timeline.
545
00:32:07,926 --> 00:32:13,222
Now, what do we mean when we
talk about the Umbrella Effect?
546
00:32:13,306 --> 00:32:14,306
Well,
547
00:32:15,350 --> 00:32:21,147
some people refer to it
as "timeline sickness."
548
00:32:24,734 --> 00:32:27,946
These artifacts from other timelines...
549
00:32:31,199 --> 00:32:36,955
Like the shared memories so
many of us have experienced, huh?
550
00:32:37,038 --> 00:32:38,331
Yup.
551
00:32:38,414 --> 00:32:42,627
Memories the powers that
be would have you believe
552
00:32:42,710 --> 00:32:46,798
are just figments of our imaginations.
553
00:32:48,508 --> 00:32:53,096
A dapper dandy holding an umbrella,
standing on the grassy knoll.
554
00:32:54,138 --> 00:32:58,267
An obscure sex cult called
"Destiny's Children."
555
00:32:59,394 --> 00:33:03,564
A litter of child
superheroes in short pants,
556
00:33:03,648 --> 00:33:07,110
from which we derive the
name of this phenomenon,
557
00:33:07,193 --> 00:33:09,362
the Umbrella Effect.
558
00:33:11,322 --> 00:33:12,322
Question is...
559
00:33:14,867 --> 00:33:17,203
who benefits from covering this up?
560
00:33:20,081 --> 00:33:23,167
The elites, of course.
561
00:33:24,585 --> 00:33:29,215
The ruling class has always
been threatened by the truth.
562
00:33:30,341 --> 00:33:33,344
But they cannot stop
the truth, now, can they?
563
00:33:35,096 --> 00:33:37,265
No, I didn't think so.
564
00:33:38,141 --> 00:33:41,602
These artifacts are proof
565
00:33:42,645 --> 00:33:45,064
that we're living in
the wrong timelines.
566
00:33:46,065 --> 00:33:47,066
And they're the key
567
00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:50,695
to bringing about
568
00:33:52,572 --> 00:33:53,865
the Cleanse.
569
00:33:56,242 --> 00:33:57,577
What the hell is the Cleanse?
570
00:33:57,660 --> 00:33:59,704
No idea, but shut your mouth.
571
00:33:59,787 --> 00:34:01,539
Your whisper is very high-pitched.
572
00:34:01,622 --> 00:34:03,249
Don't blow our covers.
573
00:34:03,750 --> 00:34:04,751
You're gonna.
574
00:34:04,834 --> 00:34:06,377
Is there a problem back there?
575
00:34:06,461 --> 00:34:07,462
Shit.
576
00:34:08,629 --> 00:34:09,797
I'm sorry.
577
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,384
Could you little Chatty
Cathys stand up, please?
578
00:34:13,468 --> 00:34:15,178
- Don't...
- I don't...
579
00:34:15,261 --> 00:34:17,472
Can't really see your
pretty little faces.
580
00:34:20,099 --> 00:34:23,352
Oh, Papa, it's Nancy.
581
00:34:24,103 --> 00:34:25,396
Hi, everyone.
582
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:28,357
And who's your little friend?
I don't believe we've met.
583
00:34:29,567 --> 00:34:31,694
- This is my handsome fella...
- Jerome.
584
00:34:31,695 --> 00:34:32,736
Jerome.
585
00:34:32,737 --> 00:34:34,530
From the Orlando branch.
586
00:34:34,614 --> 00:34:35,740
Mmm.
587
00:34:36,365 --> 00:34:39,035
Jerome from the Orlando branch.
588
00:34:39,118 --> 00:34:42,663
Looks like your suntan could
use a little work there, Jerome.
589
00:34:47,251 --> 00:34:49,545
Maybe there's something
we could help clarify,
590
00:34:49,629 --> 00:34:52,423
Jerome from the Orlando branch.
591
00:34:53,007 --> 00:34:54,133
No, so, um, sorry...
592
00:34:54,217 --> 00:34:58,012
We were hoping maybe you could
elaborate on the concept of the Cleanse.
593
00:35:00,556 --> 00:35:02,517
Some believe it's the end.
594
00:35:07,814 --> 00:35:11,818
Others believe it's
but a great restoration.
595
00:35:12,527 --> 00:35:14,070
What do you believe?
596
00:35:15,404 --> 00:35:18,324
Well, you're in luck,
597
00:35:18,407 --> 00:35:24,664
because we are preparing a very
special lecture on just this topic.
598
00:35:25,289 --> 00:35:27,375
Aren't we, darling?
599
00:35:28,209 --> 00:35:29,585
That's right, darling.
600
00:35:30,545 --> 00:35:32,880
If you're interested,
give us your information.
601
00:35:32,964 --> 00:35:34,507
Address, phone number.
602
00:35:36,175 --> 00:35:38,344
We'll make sure to
send you an invitation.
603
00:35:39,554 --> 00:35:40,555
Both of you.
604
00:35:43,349 --> 00:35:44,350
Thank you both.
605
00:35:45,893 --> 00:35:47,436
So sorry about that.
606
00:35:51,524 --> 00:35:54,777
Look, if these artifacts
are from different timelines,
607
00:35:54,861 --> 00:35:56,112
and now they're showing up...
608
00:35:56,195 --> 00:35:59,073
It's possible the old
man's reset didn't take.
609
00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:00,825
What does that even mean?
610
00:36:00,908 --> 00:36:02,160
I have no idea.
611
00:36:03,286 --> 00:36:06,789
Look, whatever this is, don't say
anything to the family just yet.
612
00:36:06,873 --> 00:36:08,833
All right? Not even Diego.
613
00:36:08,916 --> 00:36:11,544
Absolutely not. He
thinks I'm at book club.
614
00:36:13,254 --> 00:36:15,131
It's just easier that way.
615
00:36:15,882 --> 00:36:18,885
All right. Well, it's a good
thing I never got married.
616
00:36:18,968 --> 00:36:20,636
Too much deception involved.
617
00:36:21,387 --> 00:36:22,387
Wow.
618
00:36:23,723 --> 00:36:26,976
Didn't your dad teach any of
you Hargreeves men how to eat?
619
00:36:28,102 --> 00:36:29,145
Wait, no, come here.
620
00:36:40,823 --> 00:36:43,034
Book club, my ass.
621
00:36:53,127 --> 00:36:54,754
Welcome home, brother.
622
00:36:55,588 --> 00:36:56,588
Welcome home.
623
00:36:58,257 --> 00:36:59,884
What the hell, dude?
624
00:37:00,468 --> 00:37:02,637
You're squatting in
some condemned building.
625
00:37:03,137 --> 00:37:04,722
Condemned? What?
626
00:37:05,932 --> 00:37:08,809
Well, yeah, it's a touch
run-down, I'll give you that,
627
00:37:08,893 --> 00:37:11,604
but come on, I've put a
lot of work into this place.
628
00:37:12,939 --> 00:37:14,482
Not sure I'm seeing it.
629
00:37:16,525 --> 00:37:18,236
Come on, I'll show you around.
630
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:23,074
I, uh... I read a lot of DIY
books, which is tough at first,
631
00:37:23,157 --> 00:37:25,117
but you kinda get a
knack for it, you know?
632
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:27,161
Check it out.
633
00:37:30,665 --> 00:37:32,250
Ah, let's get a fire going.
634
00:37:35,586 --> 00:37:36,587
Oh, uh...
635
00:37:37,463 --> 00:37:40,925
You should avoid using the
toilets on the second floor.
636
00:37:50,351 --> 00:37:51,978
Looks like you got mail.
637
00:37:51,979 --> 00:37:52,979
Huh?
638
00:37:52,980 --> 00:37:55,356
Probably the city
condemning this shithole.
639
00:37:55,856 --> 00:37:58,609
No, no, no, no. They stick
those to the front door.
640
00:37:59,819 --> 00:38:00,819
What's this?
641
00:38:10,204 --> 00:38:11,706
We gotta call the others.
642
00:38:12,206 --> 00:38:14,792
Okay, Luther, we're here. What is it?
643
00:38:14,875 --> 00:38:17,920
It says, "Your brother
Viktor has been kidnapped."
644
00:38:18,004 --> 00:38:21,257
"Follow my exact instructions,
and no harm will come to him."
645
00:38:23,718 --> 00:38:26,554
All right. Any idea on
who might be behind this?
646
00:38:26,637 --> 00:38:29,140
- My money's on you-know-who.
- Dad? Come on.
647
00:38:29,223 --> 00:38:33,060
Dad didn't kidnap Viktor. He
doesn't give a shit about us.
648
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:35,771
It just really hurts when
family stabs you in the back.
649
00:38:37,481 --> 00:38:39,150
Five, can't you just
call your CIA buddies?
650
00:38:39,233 --> 00:38:42,190
Well, the CIA doesn't
investigate kidnappings.
651
00:38:42,191 --> 00:38:43,790
- That's the FBI.
- Wait. Hey, hey, no.
652
00:38:43,791 --> 00:38:46,282
We don't need anyone.
We can handle this.
653
00:38:46,365 --> 00:38:47,491
Yeah.
654
00:38:47,575 --> 00:38:49,577
We're not exactly a team anymore, Diego.
655
00:38:49,660 --> 00:38:50,660
Or ever were.
656
00:38:51,078 --> 00:38:53,331
Then there's the whole
"no powers" thing.
657
00:38:53,414 --> 00:38:56,876
No. I don't care. If Viktor's
in trouble, I'm in, right?
658
00:38:59,503 --> 00:39:01,505
What are you looking at me
for? I'm not your mother.
659
00:39:01,589 --> 00:39:02,965
- I'm in. What?
- Good luck.
660
00:39:03,049 --> 00:39:05,384
You can't even run up stairs
without getting a coronary.
661
00:39:05,468 --> 00:39:06,969
I'm in the best shape of my life.
662
00:39:07,053 --> 00:39:09,347
Jesus. Okay, anyway, now what?
663
00:39:09,430 --> 00:39:14,268
It says we're supposed to meet at
Sy's Dry Cleaning on 5th Avenue.
664
00:39:15,227 --> 00:39:16,687
Perfect. Let's roll.
665
00:39:16,771 --> 00:39:17,813
Yeah!
666
00:39:17,814 --> 00:39:18,855
What?
667
00:39:32,203 --> 00:39:34,330
Stay behind Five. He's got the gun.
668
00:39:54,975 --> 00:39:59,230
Guys! Can't you smell that? This
place is a chemical wasteland.
669
00:40:12,118 --> 00:40:14,370
Hey, there he is.
670
00:40:14,453 --> 00:40:15,663
Looking good, buddy.
671
00:40:15,746 --> 00:40:17,456
Thank God! What's up, Vik?
672
00:40:18,958 --> 00:40:20,709
Couldn't make it to
your niece's birthday?
673
00:40:21,210 --> 00:40:24,713
Well, I was on the way, and
then I got kidnapped, so...
674
00:40:24,797 --> 00:40:25,881
Yeah, nice excuse.
675
00:40:25,965 --> 00:40:27,216
Diego.
676
00:40:27,299 --> 00:40:28,926
Do you guys wanna untie me, or...
677
00:40:29,009 --> 00:40:30,094
Oh, yeah, sure.
678
00:40:31,554 --> 00:40:33,973
Who grabbed you? Was it
Hargreeves and his goons?
679
00:40:34,056 --> 00:40:35,850
No way. This is amateur hour.
680
00:40:37,143 --> 00:40:40,020
I apologize if my methods
are a little crude,
681
00:40:40,104 --> 00:40:42,690
but this is my first kidnapping.
682
00:40:42,773 --> 00:40:44,442
And hopefully, my last.
683
00:40:45,443 --> 00:40:47,111
But I need your help.
684
00:40:47,194 --> 00:40:49,864
Well, kidnapping our brother
and pointing a gun at us
685
00:40:49,947 --> 00:40:51,782
isn't gonna buy you much goodwill.
686
00:40:52,783 --> 00:40:56,871
It was the only way I could make
sure that you came here. All of you.
687
00:40:57,371 --> 00:41:00,708
I couldn't leave anything to chance.
Especially when it comes to...
688
00:41:02,877 --> 00:41:04,128
the Umbrella Academy.
689
00:41:04,211 --> 00:41:06,797
No one's called us that in six years.
690
00:41:08,966 --> 00:41:11,677
Sorry, pal. The Umbrella
Academy doesn't exist.
691
00:41:12,678 --> 00:41:13,679
Um...
692
00:41:13,762 --> 00:41:14,972
Okay, but...
693
00:41:16,223 --> 00:41:18,726
Okay, but... Just...
694
00:41:20,644 --> 00:41:22,688
Can... Can you explain this, then?
695
00:41:27,193 --> 00:41:29,028
Umbrella Academy saves what?
696
00:41:29,528 --> 00:41:32,990
When the hell did we
save the Eiffel Tower?
697
00:41:33,073 --> 00:41:34,408
Where did you get that?
698
00:41:34,492 --> 00:41:37,661
It was in this box of things in
the trunk of my daughter's car.
699
00:41:37,745 --> 00:41:38,746
Her name's Jennifer.
700
00:41:38,829 --> 00:41:41,081
- Where did she get that?
- I don't know.
701
00:41:41,165 --> 00:41:42,249
But, okay, listen.
702
00:41:42,333 --> 00:41:43,876
So, about a year ago,
703
00:41:43,959 --> 00:41:46,253
she met these new friends,
704
00:41:46,337 --> 00:41:49,673
and, uh, they started going
to these strange meetings.
705
00:41:49,757 --> 00:41:50,815
They're very strange people.
706
00:41:50,816 --> 00:41:53,344
They call themselves
the Keepers, and, uh...
707
00:41:53,928 --> 00:41:55,513
And then, over time,
708
00:41:55,596 --> 00:41:58,224
she stopped talking to me.
709
00:41:58,307 --> 00:41:59,307
Just stopped.
710
00:41:59,308 --> 00:42:02,853
And that was about three months
ago, and I haven't seen her since,
711
00:42:02,937 --> 00:42:06,565
and I believe that something
terrible has happened.
712
00:42:06,649 --> 00:42:09,568
No offense. Maybe she just
wants nothing to do with you.
713
00:42:10,361 --> 00:42:12,990
No, no. My daughter
and I are very close.
714
00:42:12,991 --> 00:42:14,448
She would never do this to me.
715
00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:17,284
Wait, hold on. How did you find us?
716
00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:20,412
I saw you on TV. Toss N' Wash.
717
00:42:20,496 --> 00:42:23,374
Ha! See? No small parts.
718
00:42:23,874 --> 00:42:28,504
I... I've actually been watching
you for quite a while now.
719
00:42:29,547 --> 00:42:30,547
Uh...
720
00:42:30,965 --> 00:42:34,802
And I'm... I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. I apologize.
721
00:42:35,386 --> 00:42:39,932
Uh, but, I mean, she's all
that I have left, and, uh...
722
00:42:40,641 --> 00:42:42,851
What do you need us for? Call a cop.
723
00:42:42,935 --> 00:42:45,813
I did. They didn't do anything.
724
00:42:45,896 --> 00:42:47,950
We'd like to help, but
we're not the same people
725
00:42:47,951 --> 00:42:49,233
in that picture anymore.
726
00:42:49,316 --> 00:42:51,777
Yeah, we don't even have powers now.
727
00:42:51,860 --> 00:42:53,195
Yeah, we're not special.
728
00:42:53,279 --> 00:42:54,947
Speak for yourself, tubby.
729
00:42:56,991 --> 00:42:58,742
Give us 24 hours.
730
00:42:58,826 --> 00:43:00,411
Five, what are you doing?
731
00:43:00,494 --> 00:43:02,955
- 24 hours. We'll find your daughter.
- Yes. Thank you.
732
00:43:03,539 --> 00:43:05,874
- Guys, let's go.
- What are you talking about?
733
00:43:05,958 --> 00:43:10,629
Thank you very much, Umbrella
Academy. I think you're special.
734
00:43:13,949 --> 00:43:14,966
Five.
735
00:43:14,967 --> 00:43:17,094
- Come on.
- What the hell was that, man?
736
00:43:17,636 --> 00:43:19,888
Hey, why are you
considering helping that guy?
737
00:43:19,972 --> 00:43:21,265
- Five.
- What's going on?
738
00:43:22,182 --> 00:43:23,182
Because...
739
00:43:25,769 --> 00:43:26,770
of this.
740
00:43:34,111 --> 00:43:38,574
What I'd like to know is how the
daughter of some random dry cleaner
741
00:43:38,657 --> 00:43:41,368
ends up with a jar of marigold
in the trunk of her car.
742
00:43:41,452 --> 00:43:44,246
How do we know that's not
just a jar of glow stick juice?
743
00:43:44,330 --> 00:43:46,832
Why don't you take a sip
and find out, tough guy?
744
00:43:46,915 --> 00:43:49,335
- I will if you will.
- Don't even think about it.
745
00:43:49,835 --> 00:43:53,714
Okay, for the sake of discussion,
let's say this is legit.
746
00:43:54,465 --> 00:43:56,300
Does anyone here want their power back?
747
00:43:56,383 --> 00:43:57,885
- No, siree, Bob.
- Yeah.
748
00:43:58,594 --> 00:44:01,305
For the first time
in my life, I'm sober.
749
00:44:02,348 --> 00:44:04,516
And... happy.
750
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:08,604
But most importantly,
100% poltergeist-free.
751
00:44:09,104 --> 00:44:11,106
Free? You rarely leave the house.
752
00:44:11,190 --> 00:44:14,068
And when you do, you're wearing
surgical gloves in public.
753
00:44:14,151 --> 00:44:16,028
Yeah, well, at least I'm in control.
754
00:44:16,111 --> 00:44:17,111
Showtime.
755
00:44:19,865 --> 00:44:21,367
Look at this chump.
756
00:44:22,576 --> 00:44:23,661
Angle's wrong.
757
00:44:25,245 --> 00:44:26,455
Sloppy form.
758
00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:31,377
- Good job, sir.
- Nice.
759
00:44:31,460 --> 00:44:32,753
He is so good.
760
00:44:34,380 --> 00:44:36,715
Look, guys, it's a hard no for me too.
761
00:44:36,799 --> 00:44:38,550
I've got a bar to run, friends.
762
00:44:38,634 --> 00:44:39,677
Like, a real life.
763
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:41,428
You're all nuts, all right?
764
00:44:41,512 --> 00:44:43,806
We should be mainlining
this shit right now.
765
00:44:44,973 --> 00:44:47,810
Look, come on, big
guy. I know you want it.
766
00:44:47,893 --> 00:44:50,062
Wait! I mean, that's a tough one.
767
00:44:50,145 --> 00:44:52,856
Come on. You don't need that, Luther.
768
00:44:52,940 --> 00:44:54,817
Your life is fantastic.
769
00:44:54,900 --> 00:44:58,862
I don't know about fantastic,
but you know, I'm... I'm managing.
770
00:44:58,946 --> 00:45:01,031
Is that where the bar is set these days?
771
00:45:01,782 --> 00:45:02,991
Managing?
772
00:45:03,075 --> 00:45:05,577
I'll do whatever the
group decides. How's that?
773
00:45:05,661 --> 00:45:07,246
Yeah, I'm with Luther.
774
00:45:08,247 --> 00:45:09,581
Majority rules.
775
00:45:10,124 --> 00:45:11,417
Yeah, right.
776
00:45:11,500 --> 00:45:15,379
You're not actually
considering this, are you?
777
00:45:17,631 --> 00:45:19,049
No.
778
00:45:20,342 --> 00:45:23,011
No, my life is great. I
have everything I need.
779
00:45:23,095 --> 00:45:24,972
Yup. Me too.
780
00:45:26,390 --> 00:45:27,390
Same.
781
00:45:27,391 --> 00:45:30,686
All right, then. Motion fails.
We don't drink the mystery juice.
782
00:45:30,769 --> 00:45:32,062
So we don't get our powers back.
783
00:45:32,146 --> 00:45:33,355
Thank God!
784
00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:38,777
I tried. You're all morons.
785
00:45:38,861 --> 00:45:40,195
Hey! Where are you going?
786
00:45:40,279 --> 00:45:42,573
To take a piss! Is that okay, Luther?
787
00:45:42,656 --> 00:45:45,826
Or do you need to run that
by my parole officer too?
788
00:45:45,909 --> 00:45:48,120
Oh shit! I was supposed
to call him at 6:00!
789
00:45:51,707 --> 00:45:54,126
- Is that what I think it is?
- Yeah, it is!
790
00:45:54,835 --> 00:45:57,880
- That's disgusting.
- All right, I gotta hit the road.
791
00:45:57,963 --> 00:45:59,047
No, so soon?
792
00:45:59,131 --> 00:46:00,716
Come on, Vik! Stay a bit longer!
793
00:46:00,799 --> 00:46:02,342
No, wait! Stay, man!
794
00:46:02,426 --> 00:46:04,636
It's just such a long drive. So, yeah.
795
00:46:04,720 --> 00:46:06,889
I should go too. I've
got an audition tomorrow.
796
00:46:08,432 --> 00:46:13,312
Like a big, important audition,
and we have to boot camp the lines!
797
00:46:13,395 --> 00:46:15,647
You've gotta drive the kids
to the dentist at 7:00 a.m.
798
00:46:15,731 --> 00:46:18,901
Why you gotta make it so early again?
799
00:46:18,984 --> 00:46:20,569
Because they have school at 8:00.
800
00:46:20,652 --> 00:46:23,447
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey!
Where's everyone going?
801
00:46:23,530 --> 00:46:25,949
We haven't even gotten to the steak yet!
802
00:46:26,033 --> 00:46:27,451
- Party's over.
- No! No!
803
00:46:27,534 --> 00:46:30,579
Okay. One last shot, on me.
804
00:46:30,662 --> 00:46:32,080
For old time's sake.
805
00:46:32,623 --> 00:46:33,623
Please!
806
00:46:34,374 --> 00:46:35,834
- Klaus!
- No!
807
00:46:35,918 --> 00:46:38,212
- Ignore him!
- Come on. He doesn't drink.
808
00:46:38,295 --> 00:46:39,838
Sake doesn't count.
809
00:46:39,922 --> 00:46:41,590
- Exactly.
- It doesn't?
810
00:46:41,673 --> 00:46:43,884
- Hey. Dude's sober.
- Thank you.
811
00:46:47,262 --> 00:46:48,514
Okay, then.
812
00:46:48,597 --> 00:46:52,059
Here's to the nonexistent
Umbrella Academy!
813
00:46:52,643 --> 00:46:53,769
Kanpai!
814
00:46:53,852 --> 00:46:54,853
Kanpai!
815
00:46:58,899 --> 00:46:59,899
Thank you!
816
00:47:07,491 --> 00:47:08,575
Hey! You comin'?
817
00:47:09,910 --> 00:47:11,540
I'm gonna savor my
last minutes of freedom
818
00:47:11,541 --> 00:47:13,789
and finish this shrimp,
if you don't mind.
819
00:47:15,666 --> 00:47:16,750
What about curfew?
820
00:47:17,501 --> 00:47:21,463
Relax, Captain Tight-ass. I'll meet
you back at your shithole later.
821
00:47:23,215 --> 00:47:24,508
Captain Tight-ass?
822
00:47:44,319 --> 00:47:46,697
See ya on the other side, fuckfaces.
823
00:47:54,496 --> 00:47:56,999
♪ You and me, baby ♪
♪ Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
824
00:47:57,082 --> 00:48:01,003
♪ So let's do it like they do ♪
♪ On the Discovery Channel ♪
825
00:48:01,004 --> 00:48:02,004
♪ Do it again now ♪
826
00:48:02,005 --> 00:48:04,798
♪ You and me, baby ♪
♪ Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
827
00:48:04,882 --> 00:48:08,802
♪ So let's do it like they do ♪
♪ On the Discovery Channel ♪
828
00:48:08,886 --> 00:48:11,805
♪ Getting horny now ♪
829
00:48:11,806 --> 00:48:16,806
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
830
00:48:40,918 --> 00:48:44,254
♪ Love, the kind you clean up ♪
♪ With a mop and bucket ♪
831
00:48:44,338 --> 00:48:47,966
♪ Like the lost catacombs of Egypt ♪
♪ Only God knows where we stuck it ♪
832
00:48:48,050 --> 00:48:49,092
♪ Hieroglyphics ♪
833
00:48:49,176 --> 00:48:51,929
♪ Let me be Pacific ♪
♪ I wanna be down in your South Seas ♪
834
00:48:52,012 --> 00:48:54,097
♪ But I got this notion that
the motion of your ocean ♪
835
00:48:54,181 --> 00:48:55,724
♪ Means small craft advisory ♪
836
00:48:55,807 --> 00:48:59,603
♪ So if I capsize on your thighs ♪
♪ High tide, B-5, you sunk my battleship ♪
837
00:48:59,686 --> 00:49:03,315
♪ Please turn me on ♪
♪ I'm Mr. Coffee with an automatic drip ♪
838
00:49:03,398 --> 00:49:05,400
♪ So show me yours, I'll show you mine ♪
839
00:49:05,484 --> 00:49:07,611
♪ Tool time ♪
♪ You'll Lovett just like Lyle ♪
840
00:49:07,694 --> 00:49:09,404
♪ And then we'll do it doggy style
841
00:49:09,488 --> 00:49:12,074
- ♪ So we can both watch X-Files ♪
- ♪ Do it now ♪
842
00:49:12,157 --> 00:49:15,035
♪ You and me, baby ♪
♪ Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
843
00:49:15,118 --> 00:49:18,956
♪ So let's do it like they do ♪
♪ On the Discovery Channel ♪
844
00:49:18,957 --> 00:49:19,997
♪ Do it again now ♪
845
00:49:19,998 --> 00:49:22,834
♪ You and me, baby ♪
♪ Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
846
00:49:22,918 --> 00:49:26,922
♪ So let's do it like they do ♪
♪ On the Discovery Channel ♪
847
00:49:27,005 --> 00:49:29,508
♪ Getting horny now ♪
848
00:49:43,397 --> 00:49:46,233
♪ You and me, baby ♪
♪ Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
849
00:49:46,316 --> 00:49:50,237
♪ So let's do it like they do ♪
♪ On the Discovery Channel ♪
850
00:49:50,238 --> 00:49:51,238
♪ Do it again now ♪
851
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:54,074
♪ You and me, baby ♪
♪ Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
852
00:49:54,157 --> 00:49:58,203
♪ So let's do it like they do ♪
♪ On the Discovery Channel ♪
853
00:49:59,037 --> 00:50:01,832
♪ You and me, baby ♪
♪ Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
854
00:50:01,915 --> 00:50:05,711
♪ So let's do it like they do ♪
♪ On the Discovery Channel ♪
855
00:50:05,794 --> 00:50:06,794
♪ Do it again now ♪
856
00:50:06,837 --> 00:50:09,673
♪ You and me, baby ♪
♪ Ain't nothing but mammals ♪
857
00:50:09,756 --> 00:50:13,593
♪ So let's do it like they do ♪
♪ On the Discovery Channel ♪
858
00:50:13,677 --> 00:50:16,471
♪ Getting horny now ♪
63177
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