Original subtitles

[JAKE] YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. [NIKKI] THANK YOU.

[JAKE] MOM?

[ELAINE] HEY BABY.

BEAUTIFUL WEDDING.

[JAKE] IT'S TOO BAD YOU COULDN'T BE HERE TO SEE THIS.

[ELAINE] IT'S TOO BAD IT'S NOT GONNA WORK OUT.

[JAKE] I'M SO SORRY.

I TRIED.

[ELAINE] NO YOU DIDN'T.

BUT CHRISTIAN IS TRYING.

[JAKE] WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

HEY!

[LESLIE/CHRISTIAN]

[JAKE] WHAT ARE YOU TWO SNICKERING AT?

SHUT UP!

[NIKKI] JAKE, GIMME BACK THE RING.

[JAKE] I DON'T HAVE IT. [NIKKI] WHERE IS THE RING JAKE?

[JAKE] I DON'T KNOW. [NIKKI] GIVE ME BACK THE RING PLEASE!

[WALTER] JAKE?

WHERE IS THE RING?

[JAKE] MY GOD.

[WALTER] THE RING? MAKE WITH THE RING.

[JAKE] I DON'T KNOW. [WALTER] I GIVE YOU ONE RESPONSIBILITY, THE RING.

[JAKE] OKAY, WOULD YOU JUST--

[WALTER] IF YOU'VE LOST IT, MARY IS GONNA FREAK.

[JAKE] OKAY, JUST RELAX.

OKAY, I GOT IT.

[WALTER] GOOD. [JAKE] I GOT IT. OKAY I GOT IT.

[WALTER] IS THAT A GAS CAP?

WHERE IS THE RING?

[JAKE] I THINK I GOTTA GO BACK TO THE GAS STATION.

♪OH YEAH (OH YEAH)♪

♪OH YEAH (OH YEAH)♪

♪OH YEEAAH OH YEEAAH♪

♪OH YEAH♪

[MALACHY] I LOVES A GOOD WEDDING.

THIS CHURCH IS SPECTACULAR.

[MALACHY] HI, HOW YOU DOING?

[MALACHY] I GUESS THIS IS A RETURN TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME FOR YOU? HUH?

[JAKE] HA, HA. YOU THINK THEY GOT A BATHROOM IN THERE OR WHAT?

[MALACHY] I TOLD YOU TO GO BEFORE WE LEFT.

[JAKE] JUST MIND YOUR OWN BATHROOM SCHEDULE THERE OLD MAN.

[MALACHY] YOU KNOW WHEN I WAS AWAY,

YOUR BROTHER TOOK ME TO CANADA'S WONDERLAND.

[JAKE] GOOD FOR YOU.

I'M SURE YOU GALS HAD A GRAND OLD TIME.

[MALACHY] YOU SHOULD SEE HIS CONDO.

RIGHT OVERLOOKING THE WATER.

NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT.

[JAKE] REALLY?

MAYBE THEY GOT A JOB AS A DOOR MAN THERE FOR YOU.

SAVE UP FOR THE PENSION.

[MALACHY] GROWN MEN WITH THEIR OWN ROOMS.

THEY BOTHER YOU, DON'T THEY?

[JAKE] NO YOUR TIE BOTHERS ME,

OKAY? IT'S GONNA GIVE ME AN ANEURYSM.

[MALACHY] YOUR BROTHER'S DONE VERY WELL FOR HIMSELF.

DON'T BE JEALOUS. BE PROUD.

LET THE SUNSHINE IN.

HEY WALTER. [WALTER] JAKE.

HEY YOU FOUND THE RING AFTER, RIGHT?

[MALACHY] "FOUND"? [JAKE] I GOT THE RING, YEAH.

LOOK IF HE'S DOING SO GREAT,

THEN WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING BACK HERE? YOU KNOW?

HE HATES NEWFOUNDLAND.

[WALTER] CAN I GET A HAND HERE?

JUST-- I COULD USE A LITTLE HELP. LIKE A LITTLE--

[JAKE] WALTER, THIS IS YOUR SISTER'S WEDDING.

JUST TRY AND ENJOY YOURSELF.

[WALTER] JUST LET ME RUN IT BY YOU FOR FEEDBACK. SHEESH.

[JAKE] ALRIGHT.

[WALTER] "WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY DEFINES MARRIAGE AS THE--"

JESUS, THAT'S NOT EVEN THE RIGHT ONE.

[JAKE] RIGHT.

CHEERS.

[WALTER] WHOA! HEY! WHOA!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

[JAKE] I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM. IS THAT OKAY WITH YOU?

[MALACHY] MAKE IT SNAPPY, IT'S SHOW TIME HERE.

[WALTER] I COULD GO WITH YOU.

[MALACHY] YEAH, GOD IDEA. KEEP AN EYE ON HIM.

[JAKE] LOOK WHY DON'T YOU READ YOUR SPEECH TO MAL, OKAY?

HE'S A GREAT LISTENER.

[WALTER] OKAY, I GOT IT I THINK.

OKAY, YEAH.

"THE OXFORD DICTIONARY..."

BETTER.

[JAKE] EXCUSE ME LADIES. I'M SORRY.

[MARY] JAKE DOYLE? [JAKE] MARY.

CONGRATULATIONS.

[MARY] I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE YOU HERE.

[JAKE] OH YEAH?

[MARY] GIVE ME ONE SECOND. [JAKE] WHY IS THAT?

[MARY] I CAN THINK OF ONE OR TWO REASONS.

[JAKE] AH HA! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

[MARY] WOULD YOU CARE FOR A CLUE?

[JAKE] NO, I'M GOOD THANKS. [MARY] SEE:

LOSS OF VIRGINITY, BANNERMAN PARK, HALLOWEEN, 1995.

[JAKE] OKAY, MARY. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

AND NEITHER DOES MY VERY, VERY GOOD FRIEND WALTER WHO HAPPENS

TO BE YOUR BIG BROTHER OKAY?

SO LET'S JUST LEAVE IT THAT WAY.

[MARY] OH RELAX, I'M ONLY TEASING YOU.

YOU WANNA SNAP ME UP?

[JAKE] SURE.

HAVE YOU MET MY DOUGGY YET?

[JAKE] NO I HAVEN'T HAD THE PLEASURE. BUT I'M SURE HE'S A

NICE GUY. [MARY] OH!

DOUG PUDDISTER IS A GREAT GUY.

I COULDN'T BE MORE THRILLED.

I'M OVER THE MOON.

HE IS AMAZING.

[JAKE] I BELIEVE YOU. [MARY] YEAH YOU SHOULD.

[JAKE] I DO.

RIGHT THEN WELL, THIS IS BEEN REALLY SWEET AND NICE AND

YOU LOOK GREAT. SO I'LL JUST BE HEADING ON MY WAY.

CONGRATULATIONS.

[MARY] OH! I HEAR YOUR BROTHER IS BACK IN TOWN.

IS HE HERE TOO?

[JAKE] I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE. I DON'T KNOW.

[MARY] WELL IF I DON'T SEE HIM,

YOU BETTER GIVE HIM A BIG HUG FOR ME.

[JAKE] YEAH, I'LL GET RIGHT ON THAT.

[JAKE] DOUG? [DOUG] YEAH.

HOW MUCH TIME I GOT LEFT?

[JAKE] I THINK YOU GOT A FEW MINUTES.

EVERYTHING OKAY?

DO YOU WANT A DRINK OR SOMETHING?

TAKES THE EDGE RIGHT OFF THE COMMITMENT SOMETIMES, I FIND.

[DOUG] I JUST NEED A FEW MINUTES BOSS.

[JAKE] CONGRATULATIONS.

[JAKE] OH THANK GOD.

[JAKE] I'M REALLY SORRY.

I JUST GOTTA USE THE BATHROOM.

CHRISTIAN? [CHRISTIAN] BUTTONS?

[JAKE] WHO INVITED YOU? [CHRISTIAN] WHO INVITED ME?

I KNOW MORE PEOPLE HERE THAN YOU.

[JAKE] YEAH, I CAN SEE THAT.

BUT I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S ONE OF OUR FIRST COUSINS.

[CHRISTIAN] BY MARRIAGE.

OH, YOU LEFT THIS ON THE KITCHEN TABLE.

I'M GUESSING IT'S PROBABLY IMPORTANT? YEAH?

[JAKE] THANKS. [CHRISTIAN] YOU CLEAN UP SOME

GOOD BUTTONS. [JAKE] DON'T CALL ME BUTTONS.

[CHRISTIAN] OH, YOU'RE STILL MAD AT ME ARE YA?

[JAKE] NO. [CHRISTIAN] WHAT?

YOU WANNA HIT ME?

[JAKE] IF I WANTED TO HIT YOU, I WOULD.

[CHRISTIAN] YOU'RE ALL GROWN UP NOW. WHY DON'T YOU FINALLY TAKE ME?

[JAKE] YEAH. I JUST NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM. THANKS.

[CHRISTIAN] OH DON'T WORRY,

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A LONG CHAT YOU AND ME. I GOT SOME THINGS I WANNA SAY.

[JAKE] THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY. WHAT'S DONE IS DONE.

[CHRISTIAN] YOU'RE STILL SO MAD, LOOK AT YOU.

[JAKE] RIGHT. AS CHARMING AS THIS CHAT IS,

WOULD YOU MIND GETTING OUT OF MY WAY SO I CAN GO TO THE CAN?

[CHRISTIAN] OKAY. OH, THAT TOILET IS NO GOOD NO MORE. FYI.

[JAKE] WILL YOU BE MY WIFE?

[WALTER] TOOL.

[NIKKI] HEY THERE? [JAKE] OH GREAT!

EVERYBODY IS HERE.

[NIKKI] JAKE, YOU REMEMBER DAVID.

[JAKE] THE DIVORCE LAWYER!

NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

LET ME ASK YOU, YOU GO TROLLING AROUND FROM

WEDDING TO WEDDING LOOKING FOR POTENTIAL CLIENTS OR WHAT?

HEY HERE IS AN IDEA!

YOU FIND ALL THE WEDDING GIFTS, YOU SPLIT THEM UP NOW.

SAVE EVERYONE THE HEADACHE LATER.

[NIKKI] JAKE, DAVID IS HERE AS MY DATE.

[DAVID] HEY JAKE. [JAKE] YOU'RE DATING YOUR

DIVORCE LAWYER? [NIKKI] SHHH!

[JAKE] YOU'RE DATING YOUR FRIGGIN' DIVORCE LAWYER?

[NIKKI] OKAY-- [CHRISTIAN] EASY, BUTTONS.

THIS HERE'S A HOUSE OF GOD. [NIKKI] OH MY GOD.

[CHRISTIAN] HEY NIKKI. [NIKKI] HI!

CHRISTIAN, WOW. HI.

[JAKE] WHAT IS THE HOLD UP HERE?

YOU LOOK REALLY NICE.

[NIKKI] THANK YOU.

[JAKE] I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DATING YOUR DIVORCE LAWYER.

[NIKKI] CAN YOU KEEP IT DOWN. QUIET.

[CHRISTIAN] TOOK YOUR MONEY, TOOK YOUR WIFE.

YOU NEED A BETTER LAWYER.

[NIKKI] OH. SORRY. I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.

[JAKE] WHAT IS THE PROBLEM HERE?

[WALTER] DOUG IS M.I.A. [JAKE] HE'S NOT M.I--

FOLLOW ME, I KNOW WHERE HE IS.

C'MON.

[JAKE] HE WAS HERE LIKE 5 MINUTES AGO.

[WALTER] OH, NO! [MARY] THIS ISN'T RIGHT.

HE ISN'T ANSWERING HIS PHONE.

DOUG ALWAYS ANSWERS HIS PHONE.

THIS ISN'T HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING, RIGHT NOW?

[TINNY] WHAT THE HELL ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE DOING HERE?

[ROSE] HAND THESE OUT. HAND THESE OUT.

[TINNY] NO! I WAS TRYING TO WATCH TV!

[ROSE] TINNY! HAND THEM OUT PLEASE, OKAY?

PEOPLE ARE GONNA GET UNRULY.

[TINNY] HEY DES? [DES] WHAT?

[TINNY] CAN YOU HOLD ON TO THIS FOR A SEC? [DES] HEY!

AMUSE BOUCHES. DEADLY.

[TINNY] JUST HOLD IT.

MY PHONE IS RINGING.

[DES] OKAY.

WHERE YOU GOING? WHAT ARE--

[MARY] JAKE! YOU!

YOU SAW DOUG LAST.

WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO HIM? WAS HE OKAY?

[JAKE] I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO HIM.

[MARY] OH, DON'T YOU LIE TO ME, JAKE. I KNOW YOU.

[WALTER] HEY JAKE, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SEC?

[JAKE] YEAH.

[WALTER] NOW, MARY HAS BEEN THROUGH A LOT OF DIRT BAGS IN HER LIFE.

[JAKE] YEAH.

WALTER, LET ME EXPLAIN, I WAS REALLY DRUNK AND SHE--

[WALTER] DOUG PUDDISTER, YOU KNOW, HE'S A GOOD GUY,

HE MAKES HER HAPPY.

SO I DON'T CARE IF ITS JITTERS OR COLD FEET OR WHATEVER IT IS.

I JUST NEED YOU TO BRING HIM BACK, ALRIGHT?

[JAKE] HE'S PROBABLY JUST SITTING IN A PUB SOMEWHERE.

YOU KNOW THAT ONE LAST PINT BEFORE HE ENTERS FOREVER INTO

MARITAL BLISS. [WALTER] HE'S MISSING.

YOU KNOW THAT, I KNOW THAT.

SHE'S MY LITTLE SISTER MAN.

I'M EMPLOYING YOUR SERVICES.

[JAKE] WALTER, YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIRE ME.

[WALTER] SHUT UP!

I'M HIRING YOU BECAUSE I TRUST YOU,

AND I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA BRING HIM BACK, RIGHT?

PLEASE?

[JAKE] OF COURSE.

I'LL DO EVERYTHING I CAN.

[WALTER] OKAY. [JAKE] ALRIGHT, C'MON.

[DES] HEY.

SUP?

HERE YOU GO LADIES, JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING THAT

I THREW TOGETHER PERSONALLY FOR SUSTENANCE.

FOR STRESSFUL SITUATIONS LIKE THIS

I FIND SMALLER PORTIONS ARE BEST.

THERE YOU GO.

[CLAIRE] RIGHT. [DES] MY NAME IS DESMOND,

AND YOU CAN CONSIDER ME YOUR SERVANT IN THESE TRULY,

TRULY TROUBLING TIMES.

[CLAIRE] COULD YOU LEAVE US ALONE RIGHT NOW, PLEASE?

[DES] YEAH. YEAH, NO PROBLEM.

WHAT?

WHAT?

[CHRISTIAN] [JAKE] HI.

[JAKE] LISTEN, WALTER'S GOTTA HIRE US, OKAY?

[CHRISTIAN] RUN AWAY GROOM.

BIG CASE AT MY FIRM. [JAKE] YEAH CHRISTIAN,

CAN YOU GIVE US A COUPLE OF MINUTES HERE PLEASE?

[CHRISTIAN] EXCUSE ME? [JAKE] WOULD YOU GET OUT?

WE GOTTA TALK BUSINESS.

[MALACHY] JAKE, IT'S ALRIGHT.

[CHRISTIAN] YEAH JAKE.

C'MON YOU NEVER KNOW, MY EXPERTISE MAY COME IN HANDY.

[JAKE] DOUBT IT.

[CHRISTIAN] JAKE WE'RE BOTH PROFESSIONALS.

ONLY DIFFERENCE IS YOU MAKE HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS,

I MAKE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS.

[JAKE] WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER DRINK?

[CHRISTIAN] EXCUSE ME? [JAKE] A LITTLE EARLY IN THE DAY TO BE HAVING A BIT OF WHISKEY,

DON'T YOU THINK? [CHRISTIAN] IT'S...

A WEDDING. [MALACHY] C'MON, C'MON BOYS.

[CHRISTIAN] NO RECEPTION.

THIS TOWN...

[MALACHY] NOBODY SUCKS THE AIR OUT OF A ROOM BETTER THAN YOU MY SON.

[DES] SOME MUSE BOUCHE?

TAKE THE TRAY BOY. TAKE THE TRAY.

[JAKE] SUPPOSE DOUG HAD A CHANGE OF HEART.

WHERE WOULD HE GO?

[MARY] HOW COULD YOU EVEN ASK ME THAT? YOU OF ALL PEOPLE?

[JAKE] YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M TAGGING OUT.

[MALACHY] WHERE IS HIS FOLKS?

[MARY] HE'S ONLY GOT HIS FATHER K.C, AND THEY DON'T TALK THAT MUCH.

[MALACHY] K.C PUDDISTER? PUDDISTER CORDAGE?

[MARY] YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

DOUG DIDN'T WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BIG FAMILY ROPE EMPIRE.

THE OLD MAN NEVER EVEN RSVP'D.

LOOK JAKE, YOU'RE THE LAST PERSON TO SEE HIM,

WHAT DID HE SEEM LIKE TO YOU?

[JAKE] HE...

SEEMED MAYBE...

A LITTLE NERVOUS. MAYBE...

[MARY] WHAT WOULD HE HAVE TO BE NERVOUS ABOUT? I MEAN IT'S ONLY ME.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

I WAS WAY MORE NERVOUS THAN HE WAS.

IF ANYBODY SHOULD HAVE HAD COLD FEET HERE, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME.

I MEAN, WHAT DOES HE THINK? DOES HE THINK THAT HE'S GONNA DO BETTER?

YEAH! NICE TRY BUDDY! [JAKE] OKAY, JUST CALM DOWN.

[MARY] YOU KNOWS WHAT? I NEEDS A CIGARETTE!

DOES ANYBODY HERE HAVE A CIGARETTE?

[K.C.] HELLO.

HELLO, MARY.

[MARY] K.C-- MR. PUDDISTER.

[K.C.] WHERE IS MY SON?

WHERE IS DOUG?

[K.C.] WHERE IS MY SON? [JAKE] WE THINK HE MIGHT HAVE GOT A CASE OF THE COLD FEET.

[K.C.] YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? [JAKE] WELL, HE JUMPED OUT OF A WINDOW

A FEW MINUTES BEFORE THE CEREMONY, SO...

[K.C.] ABOUT AN HOUR AGO I GOT A MESSAGE.

IT WAS A STRANGE VOICE, SAYS THEY HAVE DOUG.

[JAKE] WHAT DO YOU MEAN? [K.C.] THEY HAVE DOUG.

[MALACHY] WHAT WAS THE NUMBER?

[K.C.] UNKNOWN.

[K.C.] THERE IT IS AGAIN. [JAKE] WELL, ANSWER IT.

[K.C.] K.C. PUDDISTER. [KIDNAPPER] IF YOU GO TO THE

POLICE YOUR SON WILL BE KILLED.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

[K.C.] YES. YES.

[KIDNAPPER] KEEP YOUR PHONE ON,

WE'LL BE IN TOUCH WITH MORE INSTRUCTIONS.

[K.C.] WAIT! WAIT!

HELLO?

[JAKE] EXCUSE ME. DES? COME HERE.

SIT. SIT. SIT.

[DES] OKAY. [JAKE] NOW LISTEN TO ME.

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT I DO NOT MISS THIS CALL.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

[DES] YEAH, OKAY. [JAKE] YOU'RE IN CHARGE OF

THE PHONE.

[DES] I AM? [JAKE] YOU ARE.

DON'T LET ANYONE TOUCH IT, AND IF IT RINGS DO NOT

ANSWER IT.

[DES] I WON'T. [JAKE] IF IT RINGS,

IF IT VIBRATES, IF IT BEEPS, IF IT MOVES,

YOU GET ME RIGHT AWAY.

ARE WE CLEAR? [DES] YEAH.

[JAKE] YEAH? [DES] YEAH.

[JAKE] GOOD BOY!

EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME.

[DES] DON'T WORRY EVERYBODY.

I GOT THIS.

[K.C.] THEY SAID IF WE GO TO THE COPS, DOUG IS DEAD.

[JAKE] WELL LUCKILY WE'RE NOT COPS.

[WALTER] THIS IS WHAT THE DOYLES DO MR. PUDDISTER.

THEY CAN HELP.

[DWAYNE] IS TINNY AROUND?

WHAT'S UP? [DES] YOU LOOKING FOR TINNY?

[DWAYNE] YEAH. [DES] TINNY MOVED OUT MAN.

LIKE A MONTH AGO.

SHE DIDN'T TELL YOU THAT?

THAT'S KIND OF WEIRD.

I WASN'T AWARE YOU WERE HAVING FRIENDS OVER TODAY?

[TINNY] C'MON.

[DES] UNKNOWN NUMBER! UNKNOWN-- JAKE?! JAKE?! UNKNOWN NUMBER!

[JAKE] DAD!

[K.C.] LET ME GET IT.

[JAKE] WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. EVERYONE JUST WAIT.

JUST CHILL OUT, OKAY-- [DES] IT SAYS "UNKNOWN".

[JAKE] CALM DOWN! EVERYONE BE QUIET! OKAY?

NOW BE QUIET. PUT IT ON SPEAKER PHONE.

[K.C.] PUDDISTER.

[KIDNAPPER] YOU HAVE 3 HOURS.

PREPARE SWISS FRANK FOR THE EXCHANGE.

WE WILL CALL BACK WITH FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.

NO POLICE, YOU ARE BEING WATCHED.

[K.C.] WAIT.

WAIT, WAIT HOLD ON!

[JAKE] SWISS FRANK? [DES] WHO'S SWISS FRANK?

[JAKE] DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?

[K.C.] NO. [MARY] WELL MAYBE--

MAYBE THEY WANT THE MONEY IN SWISS FRANCS.

[WALTER] WHY WOULD THEY WANT THAT?

[DES] WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. WHO DO YOU KNOW WHO WAS BORN IN SWEDEN?

[JAKE] DES-- [EVERYBODY] SHUT UP!

[JAKE] OKAY, LOOK. THEY SAID WE HAVE LIKE 3 HOURS.

WE BETTER GET GOING.

[MALACHY] C'MON, START AT THE BEGINNING.

[JAKE] WE'LL BE IN TOUCH. EVERYONE STAY CALM.

LESLIE] BACK AGAIN BUMPY?

[CHRISTIAN] LESLIE?

GOD I NEVER WOULD HAVE FIGURED YOU FOR A COP IN A MILLION YEARS.

[LESLIE] WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN HERE?

[CHRISTIAN] I WAS JUST CATCHING UP WITH AN OLD COLLEAGUE.

[LESLIE] WHAT IS IT YOU SAID YOU DO AGAIN?

[CHRISTIAN] I DIDN'T.

I'M WITH BARTLETT & MORGAN.

IN TORONTO.

[LESLIE] OH, LAWYER.

I'LL TRY TO HOLD THAT AGAINST YOU AS BEST I CAN.

[CHRISTIAN] AS YOU SHOULD.

I JUST DISCOVERED MY OLD COFFEE SHOP IS NOW A SUSHI JOINT.

WHAT'S GOOD THESE DAYS? [LESLIE] THERE IS A DECENT

SPOT AROUND THE CORNER.

IF YOU DON'T MIND DRIP.

[CHRISTIAN] I PREFER DRIP.

WANNA JOIN ME? [LESLIE] SURE.

I COULD GO FOR A COFFEE.

AFTER I SORT THIS CHARACTER OUT.

[BUMPY] SCORE BUDDY. [MALACHY] NOBODY SAW DOUG OR

ANYONE ELSE GOING IN OR OUT OF THAT CHURCH WINDOW.

WHAT'S THIS?

[JAKE] DOUG'S CAR. [MALACHY] BY THE WAY,

DID YOU SLEEP IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM LAST NIGHT?

[JAKE] SOMEBODY GAVE CHRISTIAN THE IDEA THAT HE COULD SLEEP IN

MY BED.

[MALACHY] I THOUGHT YOU TWO WOULD WANT TO SHARE AGAIN.

FOR FUN.

[JAKE] FOR FUN. YEAH.

IT'S OBVIOUS THAT THE NURSE MIXED UP YOUR MEDS AGAIN.

[MALACHY] FINE. GO AHEAD, LIVE IN THE BASEMENT LIKE AN AXE MURDERER.

[JAKE] ALRIGHT C'MON, WE ONLY GOT 2 HOURS.

[MALACHY] ANYTHING? [JAKE] NO.

[MALACHY] POP THE TRUNK.

[MALACHY] AH. MOOSE SAUSAGE, IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN.

[JAKE] IT'S FOR THE WEDDING MAYBE?

[MALACHY] I'D SAY THAT WEDDING WAS A STEP ABOVE A BAG OF FROZEN SAUSAGE, WOULDN'T YOU?

[JAKE] YOU CAN'T GO JUDGING A WEDDING BY IT'S SAUSAGE.

[MALACHY] RECEIPTS FROM THIS MORNING.

"HALLIDAY MEAT MARKET".

[JAKE] HOW YOU DOING?

[HALLIDAY] SHOULDN'T COMPLAIN. STILL GOT ALL ME FINGERS.

WHAT'S ON THE STOVE FELLAS?

[JAKE] A BIT OF TOFU WOULDN'T GO ASTRAY.

[HALLIDAY] GET OUT OF MY STORE.

[MALACHY] ACTUALLY, WE'RE TRYING TO TRACK DOWN A CUSTOMER OF YOURS.

DOUG PUDDISTER.

[HALLIDAY] PUDDISTER AND SON CORDAGE.

[JAKE] THAT'S RIGHT. DOUG'S THE SON PART.

[HALLIDAY] WOULDN'T KNOW HIM. MAYBE BY FACE.

[MALACHY] FUNNY,

CAUSE YOU SOLD HIM WHAT LOOKS LIKE

5 KILOS OF SAUSAGE THIS MORNING FOR 78 CENTS.

THAT'S A PRETTY FRIENDLY RATE.

[HALLIDAY] SLIP OF THE FINGER.

[JAKE] IT'S A HARD OLD PROFESSION TO BE AT THAT.

[HALLIDAY] YEAH. [MALACHY] FAIR ENOUGH.

[HALLIDAY] WELL, GOOD LUCK GENTLEMEN.

[MALACHY] GOOD BUTCHER...

DECENT LIAR.

[JAKE] LET'S KEEP AN EYE ON THAT.

[DWAYNE] BABY I'VE BEEN MESSED UP.

[TINNY] OH, YEAH?

HOW MESSED UP?

[DWAYNE] I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID WRONG, OKAY?

BUT I'LL DO ANYTHING TO FIX IT, OKAY? ANYTHING.

YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO AND I CAN CHANGE.

[TINNY] THIS IS GETTING REALLY UNATTRACTIVE.

[DWAYNE] I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY. LET ME START OVER.

[TINNY] DID YOU HEAR ABOUT

"HALF SKEETY PALMETER'S" PARTY OUT IN KILBRIDE TONIGHT?

[DWAYNE] NO.

OH YES!

SKEETY PALMATER'S PARTY.

YEAH.

[TINNY] HOW DID YOU GET HERE?

[DWAYNE] I TOOK MY UNCLE'S CHEVELLE.

YOU CAN DRIVE IT IF YOU WANT.

[TINNY] OKAY. [DWAYNE] OKAY, WHAT?

[TINNY] OKAY, WE'LL GO.

JUST NO CRYING, OKAY?

[JAKE] WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.

[MALACHY] YOU GOT A LEAD I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?

[JAKE] OKAY.

BUT IF DOUG'S HEAD END UP AT OUR DOOR STEP, YOU CAN BE THE ONE TO TELL MARY

THAT WE WERE SITTING AROUND ALL DAY IN FRONT OF A MEAT MARKET.

[MALACHY] OH.

THIS LOOKS PROMISING.

[JAKE] WHAT'S WITH ALL THE GROCERIES?

[JAKE] LET'S GO TAKE A PEAK? [CHRISTIAN] I LIED.

I WASN'T THERE TO SEE AN OLD COLLEAGUE.

[LESLIE] I FIGURED THAT.

HOW DID YOU FIND ME?

[CHRISTIAN] OH, I HAVE MY WAYS.

[LESLIE] LAWYERS ALWAYS DO. [CHRISTIAN] YEAH, THEY DO.

LOOK AT THAT VIEW.

I LOVE THIS TOWN.

[LESLIE] WHY DID YOU LEAVE? [CHRISTIAN] I ALMOST DIDN'T.

MY LIFE WAS THIS CLOSE TO BEING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

[LESLIE] HOW'S THAT? [CHRISTIAN] FAMILY STUFF.

I HAD A DEAL TO OPEN UP A BAR WITH MY BROTHER. IT WAS ALL

READY TO GO, BUT AT THE LAST MINUTE I GOT CLAUSTROPHOBIC

AND PANICKED. TOOK ALL THE MONEY I WAS GONNA INVEST IN

THE BAR AND HOPPED ON A PLANE.

[LESLIE] OH REALLY?

SO LET'S SEE YOU'RE IMPULSIVE, UNRELIABLE, UNTRUSTWORTHY

WITH NO REGARD FOR FAMILY.

[CHRISTIAN] AND THOSE ARE MY GOOD TRAITS.

WAIT TILL I SHOW YOU THE BAD ONES.

[LESLIE] I SHOULD...

I SHOULD BE HEADING BACK.

[CHRISTIAN] I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU.

WHAT TIME YOU OFF SERGEANT?

[JAKE] WELL IF THEY'RE KEEPING DOUG HERE,

THEY MUST BE FEEDING HIM WELL WITH ALL THOSE GROCERIES.

[JAKE] IT'S OPEN.

[JAKE] JUST KEEP AN EYE.

MAKE SURE THE BUTCHER DOESN'T COME BACK, ALRIGHT?

[MALACHY] BE CAREFUL.

[JAKE] HELLO THERE FELLER?

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

MY NAME IS JAKE DOYLE.

WELL HELLO SWISS FRANK, NICE TO MEET YA.

[JAKE] ALRIGHT, LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN.

HOW DO YOU KNOW DOUG PUDDISTER?

[HALLIDAY] I TOLD YOU, I DON'T KNOW HIM.

[MALACHY] OKAY THEN, HOW DO YOU KNOW SWISS FRANK?

[JAKE] WE GOT PICTURES OF HIM IF YOU LIKE. SOME OF THEM HE'S

EATING LETTUCE. HE'S REALLY PARTIAL TO THE CARROTS. JURY

IS STILL OUT ON THE SAUSAGE. [MALACHY] HORSES TEND NOT TO

APPRECIATE MOOSE, LIKE THE REST OF US.

[HALLIDAY] OKAY, I USED TO MOONLIGHT DOWN AT PUDDISTER'S,

SORTING ROPE.

AND ANY TIME THAT DOUG AND THE OLD MAN, THEY'D GET INTO A

FIGHT, HE'D END UP DOWN AT THE WAREHOUSE SORTING ROPE

WITH ME. THAT'S HOW I GOT TO KNOW HIM, OKAY?

[MALACHY] SO, HOW DID YOU COME INTO POSSESSION OF THAT HORSE?

[HALLIDAY] I DIDN'T.

DOUG DID.

AND BESIDES, I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE GOT IT AND

I DON'T KNOW HOW HE GOT IT.

[JAKE] YOU DIDN'T THINK TO ASK?

[HALLIDAY] HE JUST CALLS ME UP, OUT OF THE BLUE AND SAYS

HE'LL PAY ME IF I'LL TAKE CARE OF THE HORSE, DOWN THE ROAD.

SO I SAYS, "OKAY, YES BOY", AND THAT'S WHAT I DID.

I JUST KEPT BUDDY HEALTHY AND FED.

I THOUGHT IT WAS A WEDDING PRESENT.

[ROSE] MALACHY? [MALACHY] MHMM?

[ROSE] YOUR BUDDY SWISS FRANK IS A BIT OF A CELEBRITY.

[MALACHY] IS THAT RIGHT? [ROSE] YES, HE COMES FROM A

LONG LINE OF HALL OF FAME HORSES. SIRED IN IRELAND BUT

HE WAS CONSIDERED A DUD SO THEY SOLD HIM OFF OVERSEAS.

[MALACHY] WONDER IF IT'S NOT TOO LATE FOR ME TO TRY THAT.

[ROSE] OKAY, SOMEHOW HE WOUND UP IN THE RAINBOW STABLES OUT

NEAR THE GOULDS TRACK.

BUT HE'S DESTINED FOR A CAREER

OF OBSCURITY, SHOCKS EVERYBODY WHEN HE STARTED WINNING RACES.

BIG, BIG RACES.

THEY SAY HE'S WORTH OVER HALF A MILLION DOLLARS RIGHT

NOW.

[JAKE] NEVER COUNT OUT A DUD.

[ROSE] AND THE BEST PART?

GUESS WHO THE OWNER OF SWISS FRANK IS?

[MALACHY] OH, DO TELL. [ROSE] CORDAGE MAGNATE K.C. PUDDISTER.

[MALACHY] REALLY? [ROSE] MHMM.

YUP!

[JAKE] I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[JAKE] CAREFUL, MIGHT RUIN YOUR SUPPER.

[CHRISTIAN] I'M SKIPPING SUPPER.

I GOT ME A HOT DATE LATER.

[JAKE] REALLY? WHO'S THE LUCKY "CRAIGSLIST" ESCORT?

[CHRISTIAN] FUNNY.

SHE'S SOME FOXY, YOU'D LIKE HER.

I'LL CHECK IF SHE'S GOT A SISTER.

[JAKE] APPRECIATE THAT.

SO...

HOW WAS REHAB, BROTHER?

[CHRISTIAN] HOW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THAT?

[JAKE] I GOT MY WAYS.

[CHRISTIAN] KEEPING TABS ON YOUR BIG BROTHER, HUH?

[JAKE] ALL BETTER NOW, ARE WE?

[CHRISTIAN] IT'S AN ONGOING PROCESS.

WHILE WE'RE ON THE TOPIC, SOMETHING I NEED TO GET OFF MY CHEST.

HAS TO DO WITH OUR BAR.

[JAKE] I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D BRING IT UP.

[CHRISTIAN] I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.

[JAKE] AN APOLOGY?

[CHRISTIAN] THIS IS A PART OF THE PROCESS.

JAKE...

I'M SORRY.

[JAKE] UNBELIEVABLE. [CHRISTIAN] WHAT?

[JAKE] I DON'T WANT AN APOLOGY!

I WANT 4000 DOLLARS!

[CHRISTIAN] WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

[JAKE] I INVESTED 4000 DOLLARS ON THAT BAR,

AND IT ALL DISAPPEARED

WHEN YOU DECIDED TO RUN AWAY FROM HOME LIKE A TEENAGE GIRL.

[CHRISTIAN] OH, 4000 DOLLARS.

THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SO CROOKED ABOUT?

[JAKE] WHAT ELSE WOULD IT BE?

[CHRISTIAN] YOU DIDN'T TALK TO ME FOR YEARS

BECAUSE OF FOUR GRAND. GOD YOU ARE SOME STUBBORN.

[JAKE] 4000 DOLLARS IS A LOT OF MONEY FOR SOME PEOPLE, OKAY?

WHY DO YOU THINK I'M STUCK LIVING WITH THE OLD MAN?

[CHRISTIAN] HOLD UP, LEMME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU'RE BLAMING ME FOR THE FACT THAT YOU LIVE HERE WITH DAD?

[JAKE] NOT TO MENTION THE STRAIN IT PUT ON MY MARRIAGE.

[CHRISTIAN] AND I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DISSOLUTION OF YOUR MARRIAGE.

[JAKE] PARTIALLY. SORT OF. MAYBE.

[CHRISTIAN] WELL, I'LL "SORT OF, PARTIALLY, MAYBE" PAY YOU BACK SOME DAY.

[JAKE] I WANT THAT MONEY.

[CHRISTIAN] YOU WANNA FIGHT ME FOR IT?

[LESLIE] YES, THIS IS SERGEANT BENNETT OF THE ROYAL NEWFOUNDLAND CONSTABULARY.

I WAS HOPING YOU COULD HELP ME TRACK DOWN A MEMBER OF YOUR FIRM.

[WOMAN] CERTAINLY, WHAT IS THIS REGARDING?

[LESLIE] IT INVOLVES A SENSITIVE CASE HERE IN ST. JOHN'S.

A LAWYER BY THE NAME OF CHRISTIAN...

[WOMAN] DO YOU MEAN CHRISTIAN DOYLE?

[LESLIE] CHRISTIAN... DOYLE.

THAT SEEMS ABOUT RIGHT.

[WOMAN] MR. DOYLE IS NO LONGER AN EMPLOYEE OF BARTLETT & MORGAN.

[LESLIE] OH, HE ISN'T?

[WOMAN] HIS CONTRACT WAS TERMINATED SOME TIME AGO.

[JAKE] SO...

THE NAME SWISS FRANK DIDN'T RING ANY BELLS FOR YA, HUH?

[K.C.] HEY, I OWN A LOT OF HORSES.

[JAKE] OKAY, WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.

IF YOU WANT YOUR SON TO LIVE, START TELLING ME THE TRUTH RIGHT NOW.

[K.C.] LAST WEEK I RECEIVED A NOTE.

CLAIMING MY HORSE WAS KIDNAPPED

AND THEY WANTED 50 THOUSAND DOLLARS OR

SWISS FRANK WILL WIND UP IN THE GLUE FACTORY.

[JAKE] YOU SEE, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN HELPFUL INFORMATION

A COUPLE HOURS AGO.

WHY WOULD YOU KEEP IT A SECRET?

[K.C.] BECAUSE I'M IN THE PROCESS OF SELLING THE HORSE.

FOR A VERY NICE AMOUNT.

IF WORD OF THE KIDNAPPED LEAKED, IT WOULD'VE JEOPARDIZED THE SALE.

[JAKE] BUT YOUR SON'S LIFE IS NOT IMPORTANT TO YA?

[K.C.] IT WAS DOUG WHO SENT THE NOTE.

[JAKE] SORRY? [K.C.] MY SON HAS SOME CHALLENGES.

[JAKE] CHALLENGES? [K.C] THE RANSOM LETTER WAS ON MY STATIONARY.

[JAKE] WHY WOULD YOUR OWN SON KIDNAP YOUR HORSE?

[K.C] HE'S BEEN ANGRY WITH ME FOR MONTHS.

TRYING TO GET REVENGE. I DIDN'T RSVP TO HIS WEDDING.

I REMARRIED LAST SPRING.

DOUG DOESN'T MUCH LIKE MY NEW WIFE.

HE DIDN'T COME TO MY WEDDING. WHY SHOULD I GO TO HIS?

[JAKE] UNBELIEVABLE.

[CHRISTIAN] LOOK AT YOU.

[LESLIE] CHRISTIAN, I'M GONNA HAVE TO CANCEL.

[CHRISTIAN] OH. WHY IS THAT?

[LESLIE] THAT LITTLE BROTHER YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT...

HIS NAME DOESN'T HAPPEN TO BE "JAKE", DOES IT?

[CHRISTIAN] MIGHT BE. [LESLIE] LOOK CHRISTIAN,

YOUR BROTHER AND I, WE HAVE HISTORY.

I'M SORRY, WE CAN'T DO THIS.

[CHRISTIAN] JAKE AND YOU? [LESLIE] YES, SMALL WORLD.

[CHRISTIAN] FORGET JAKE.

WHAT'S PAST IS PAST.

DOESN'T BOTHER ME.

[LESLIE] WELL IT BOTHERS ME.

I'VE ALREADY BEEN DOWN DOYLE'S ROAD AND TRUST ME,

IT'S A DEAD END.

[CHRISTIAN] I'M NOTHING LIKE MY BROTHER.

[LESLIE] I'M NOT SO SURE ABOUT THAT.

I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.

[CHRISTIAN] HAVE YOU GOT A YOUNGER SISTER?

MAYBE I SHOULD MAKE OUT WITH HER. CALL IT EVEN.

[LESLIE] GOOD BYE, MAINLAND.

[CHRISTIAN] THIS DOESN'T SEEM FAIR!

[LESLIE] YOU SEEM LIKE A SURVIVOR! YOU'LL WORK IT OUT!

[MARY] JAKE, WE'RE OUT OF TIME. WHAT'S GOING ON?

HAVE YOU GUYS FIGURED ANYTHING OUT YET?

[JAKE] WELL THERE IS A THEORY.

[MARY] WHAT KIND OF THEORY? [JAKE] WELL WE THINK THAT

MAYBE, POSSIBLY...

DOUG KIDNAPPED HIMSELF.

[MARY] WHAT?!

[JAKE] YEAH.

HE STOLE HIS FATHER'S HORSE LAST WEEK.

YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT?

[MARY] NO.

NO THAT'S RIDICULOUS, BECAUSE LAST WEEK DOUG WAS ON

WOODY ISLAND FOR THE STAG PARTY.

[JAKE] WAS HE?

BECAUSE WE'RE PRETTY SURE HE STOLE THE HORSE.

THEN DIDN'T GET THE RANSOM HE WANTED FROM HIS OLD MAN,

SO HE KIDNAPPED HIMSELF.

MAYBE. [MARY] WHY WOULD HE DO THAT

TO US?

[JAKE] OKAY, JUST WAIT.

LET ME GET IT.

DES?

[JAKE] SHH!

[JAKE] HELLO?

[KIDNAPPER] WHO IS THIS?

[JAKE] THIS IS...

THE BEST MAN.

WHO'S THIS?

[KIDNAPPER] PUT MR. PUDDISTER BACK ON THE PHONE.

[JAKE] WHY DON'T YOU PUT DOUG BACK ON THE PHONE?

[KIDNAPPER] IF YOU DON'T FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS,

YOU'RE GONNA REGRET IT.

[JAKE] DOUG, IS THIS YOU?

[DES] OW! WHAT THE HELL?

[JAKE] LOOK JUST EVERYONE RELAX.

[JAKE] WHOA!

[DES] WHAT'S THAT A SAUSAGE OR SOMETHING?

[MARY] NO, THAT'S HIS RING FINGER JAKE.

THAT'S DOUGGY'S RING FINGER!

[K.C.] HELLO? HELLO?

[KIDNAPPER] DID YOU RECEIVE THE MESSAGE?

[K.C.] YES, YES. WE'RE SORRY.

[KIDNAPPER] IF YOU WANNA SEE YOUR SON ALIVE AGAIN,

AT 6 AM DRIVE TO THE TOP OF MOUNT SIO.

YOU AND YOU ALONE.

WE WILL BE WATCHING.

WAIT THERE FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.

[DES] WHAT DID THEY SAY?

OH GOD!

OH JE--!

[NIKKI/CHRISTIAN] [NIKKI] AND TO THIS DAY, JAKE

STILL DENIES THAT THERE WAS A STRIPPER AT HIS STAG.

[CHRISTIAN] "RAVEN" WAS HER NAME.

SHE'S A NICE OLD GAL.

HEY WALTER AND HER WENT ON TO DATE FOR 3 MONTHS.

[NIKKI] OH YEAH?

I'M GONNA HAVE TO CALL JAKE ON THAT ONE.

[CHRISTIAN] NAH, HE NEVER EVEN LAID EYES ON HER.

HE WAS SO HAMMERED BY THE TIME SHE ROLLED UP TO THE

CABIN, HE HAD ALREADY WANDERED OFF. I FOUND HIM TWO MILES DOWN

THE ROAD, PASSED OUT IN A PAY-PHONE.

[NIKKI] OH MY GOD. WHAT WAS HE DOING?

[CHRISTIAN] WELL, HE WAS TRYING TO CALL YOU.

BUT HE DIDN'T HAVE A QUARTER.

TELL YOU THE TRUTH...

I WAS REALLY...

SHOCKED WHEN I HEARD YOU GUYS CALLED IT QUITS.

[NIKKI] YEAH. WELL... YOU KNOW.

[CHRISTIAN] I SHOULD HAVE ASKED YOU OUT FIRST.

[NIKKI] [NIKKI] RIGHT, ANYWAY, SO...

YOU AND JAKE, HAVE YOU GUYS RECONCILED? ARE YOU--

[CHRISTIAN] OH YEAH. IMMEDIATELY.

HE APOLOGIZED, I FORGAVE HIM.

IT'S LIKE WE'RE KIDS AGAIN.

[NIKKI] THAT IS REALLY GOOD.

I'M VERY RELIVED TO HEAR THAT, AFTER ALL THESE YEARS,

I MEAN...

[CHRISTIAN] YOU KNOW HOW HE IS.

HE PUTS UP A TOUGH FRONT.

[NIKKI] DO I EVER!

[INTERCOM] DR. REYNOLDS, CALL 47--

[NIKKI] IT WAS REALLY GOOD TO SEE YOU.

[CHRISTIAN] YEAH, GOOD TO SEE YOU. [NIKKI] OKAY, SEE YOU SOON.

[JAKE] WHERE IS DAD?

[ROSE] IN BED, WHERE I SHOULD BE.

I LOOKED IN TO THE SALE OF SWISS FRANK.

HE WAS BOUGHT BY A NUMBERED COMPANY IN THE BAHAMAS.

[JAKE] THAT'S ODD. [ROSE] BUT THAT NUMBERED COMPANY

ALSO HAPPENS TO BE THE MAJOR SUPPLIER TO

A WHOLE STRING OF COUNTRY BARS AROUND THE BAY.

[JAKE] WHY DO I GET THE FEELING THAT YOU'VE DISCOVERED SOMETHING INTERESTING?

[ROSE] I FOUND OUT THAT THOSE COUNTRY BARS,

ARE OWNED BY THE DUDE IN THAT FILE,

RENÉ CALLAGHAN ST. JULES.

[JAKE] HUH.

WAS HE A HORSE ENTHUSIAST OR SOMETHING?

[ROSE] YUP.

AND COCAINE TRAFFICKING.

[JAKE] HUH.

WHAT DID YOU SAY HIS NAME WAS?

[ROSE] RENÉ CALLAGHAN ST. JULES.

[JAKE] SO THIS ST. JULES BUYS THE HORSE FROM K.C. PUDDISTER.

THEN K.C PUDDISTER'S SON KIDNAPS THE HORSE SO ST. JULES

KIDNAPS K.C'S SON FOR THE HORSE.

[ROSE] YEAH. [TINNY] THAT OLD CHESTNUT.

[DES] HI TINNY.

OW!

WHY WOULD YOU SLAP ME? [TINNY] I DON'T KNOW!

[CLAIRE] IS THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND?

[DES] NO!

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!

WHERE YOU--

[JAKE] K.C? YOU READY TO GO?

[K.C.] I DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT THIS.

[JAKE] DON'T WORRY, WE'LL GET DOUG BACK SAFE AND SOUND.

[K.C.] HOW DO I KNOW THAT?

I COULD VERY WELL JUST BE GIVING AWAY A MILLION DOLLAR HORSE HERE.

[JAKE] JUST...

STAY COOL, AND FOLLOW THE PLAN ALRIGHT?

[JAKE] NIKKI, I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW, I GOTTA GO.

[NIKKI] THANKS FOR THE FINGER. ALL OUT OF ROSES WERE THEY?

[JAKE] OH, YEAH. WHAT DID YOU MAKE OF IT?

[NIKKI] NOT MUCH.

BUT EVER KNIFE WAS USED TO CUT IT OFF HAD A STRANGE CURVE TO IT.

[JAKE] STRANGE, HOW? [NIKKI] STRANGE CURVED.

THAT'S NOT STRANGE ENOUGH FOR YOU?

[JAKE] OKAY, WHATEVER. LOOK,

I REALLY GOTTA GO RIGHT NOW.

[NIKKI] WAIT, ARE YOU WITH CHRISTIAN?

[JAKE] NO, WHY?

[NIKKI] I DON'T KNOW. IS HE GOOD?

[JAKE] IS THAT A TRICK QUESTION?

[NIKKI] MAYBE IT'S NOTHING

BUT HE STOPPED BY THE HOSPITAL TO SAY "HI" LAST NIGHT.

[JAKE] DID HE? WHAT A GENTLEMEN.

[NIKKI] YEAH, AND NOW ONE OF MY PRESCRIPTIONS PADS IS MISSING.

[JAKE] HE TOOK IT, DIDN'T HE?

[NIKKI] WELL, I CAN'T SAY FOR SURE BUT...

IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN ANYBODY ELSE.

[JAKE] OKAY LOOK, I REALLY GOTTA GO. I'LL CALL YOU LATER.

[ST. JULES]

TOLD YOU, YOU COULD HAVE EVERYTHING RIGHT? HUH?

[DAUGHTER] THANK YOU! [ST. JULES] OH YEAH!

[DAUGHTER] THANK YOU!

[ST. JULES] HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET HEART, YOU DESERVE IT.

[JAKE] K.C?

K.C?

[K.C] THIS IS BULL SHIT.

[JAKE] K.C PUDDISTER COME IN?

[JAKE] WHAT AN IDIOT.

[K.C] WHERE IS MY SON?

[ST. JULES] WHAT DO YOU WANT?

[JAKE] WHAT IS HE DOING?

[K.C] DROP THE HORSE, GET OUT OF THE CAR!

[ST. JULES] EXCUSE ME? [K.C] GET OUT OF THE CAR!

[ST. JULES] OUT OF MY WAY!

[ST. JULES] IT'S OKAY. IT'S ALL RIGHT.

[K.C] THAT'S A WARNING!

[ST. JULES] HERE'S MY WARNING: I'VE GOT MY LITTLE GIRL IN THE CAR!

[K.C] I SAID, DROP THE HORSE!

[JAKE] OH HEY THERE, BRAINIAC.

DAD?

CALL THE COPS.

CALL AN AMBULANCE.

[JAKE] MARY...

THINGS DIDN'T GO EXACTLY ACCORDING TO PLAN.

[MARY] YOU DIDN'T BRING HIM BACK TO ME?

[JAKE] NO I'M SORRY.

THERE WAS NO SIGN OF ANY KIDNAPPERS.

BUT EVERY COP IN TOWN IS ON THE HUNT FOR THIS RENÉ ST. JULES CHARACTER.

[MARY] THAT'S IT, IT'S OVER.

[WALTER] WHERE YOU GOING?

[MARY] I HAVE TO GET OUT OF THIS DRESS NOW.

[JAKE] WALTER BUDDY...

I'M SORRY, I TRIED.

AH!

AHH!

WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!

[WALTER] BANNERMAN PARK, HALLOWEEN, 1995?

[JAKE] SHE TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT, DID SHE?

[WALTER] YEAH. LAST NIGHT SHE MADE UP A LIST

OF EVERY BAD THING SHE EVER DID IN HER WHOLE LIFE.

SHE WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT SHE DID TO DESERVE THIS.

[JAKE] I WAS ON THE BAD LIST?

[WALTER] YEAH. YOU AFTER STEALING WINE FROM THE CHURCH,

AND BEFORE RUNNING OVER THE NEIGHBOUR'S CAT.

[JAKE] OKAY YOUR OBSESSION WITH THIS, IT'S UNHEALTHY,

OKAY? SHE IS YOUR SISTER, SHE IS NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

[WALTER] I KNOW.

YOU'RE FIRED.

[MALACHY] NICE ONE.

[MALACHY] WAS CHRISTIAN IN HERE?

HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BACK FOR DINNER.

[JAKE] WELL, I WOULDN'T HOLD YOUR BREATH, OLD MAN.

THAT CHRISTIAN DOYLE IS A BUSY BOY.

[MALACHY] YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU WANNA SAY ABOUT YOUR BROTHER?

[JAKE] NO.

[MALACHY] JAKE, I KNOW EVERYTHING. I'M NOT STUPID.

[JAKE] WHAT IS "EVERYTHING", EXACTLY?

[MALACHY] WHO DO YOU THINK PICKED HIM UP FROM REHAB?

WHO DO YOU THINK CHECKED HIM OUT AND BROUGHT HIM HOME?

[JAKE] I'M SORRY, I JUST...

I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU WERE BUYING IN TO ALL OF HIS CRAP,

YOU KNOW?

[MALACHY] LOOK, WE ALL KNOW YOUR BROTHER HAS PROBLEMS.

BUT HE'S GETTING BETTER NOW.

[JAKE] BETTER?

REALLY?

[MALACHY] HE'S DOING HIS BEST.

POINT IS HE'S HOME, AND NOW HE KNOWS WE'RE HERE FOR HIM.

MOST OF US AT LEAST.

JAKE, YOU ONLY GOT ONE BROTHER.

REMEMBER THAT.

[EMILY] BEAUTIFUL WEDDING.

[JAKE] IT'S TOO BAD YOU COULDN'T BE HERE TO SEE IT.

[EMILY] IT'S TOO BAD THIS IS NOT GONNA WORK OUT.

[JAKE] I'M SORRY.

I TRIED.

[EMILY] NO.

YOU DIDN'T.

YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS WANTED YOU TO HAVE A LITTLE GIRL,

AND A STABLE TO KEEP YOUR HORSE IN.

[TINNY] HEY NICE HORSE.

[DAUGHTER] THANKS.

[TINNY] WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS FOOT?

[DAUGHTER] HE HAD AN ACCIDENT.

THEY SAY HE CAN'T RACE NO MORE, BUT I STILL LOVE HIM.

[TINNY] WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THAT?

[DAUGHTER] CLEAN HIS HOOF.

[TINNY] CAN I SEE THAT KNIFE FOR A SECOND?

[ST. JULES] CAN I HELP YOU? [TINNY] NO, I'M GOOD ACTUALLY.

[ST. JULES] WHO ARE YOU? [TINNY] ME?

[WALTER] HEY!

[WALTER] WHERE IS DOUG?

[JAKE] OKAY, SPREAD OUT.

[JAKE] I GOT HIM!

YOU OKAY BUDDY?

OKAY STAY WITH ME.

CALL AN AMBULANCE.

[JAKE] HEY THERE! HOW YOU FEELING DOUG?

[DOUG] DOWN A FINGER, BUT NEVER BETTER.

[WALTER] THE DOCTOR SAYS YOU'LL BE OUT IN A COUPLE DAYS ANYWAY.

[MARY] OH NO, HE'LL BE OUT OF HERE TONIGHT.

WE STILL HAVE A BOOKING AT THE ALL INCLUSIVE IN ORLANDO,

AND THEY CHARGE YOU AN ARM AND A LEG IF YOU TRY TO CANCEL.

[DOUG] CAN'T MISS THE HONEYMOON.

[JAKE] NO, I SUPPOSE YOU CAN'T.

LISTEN I GOT JUST ONE QUESTION FOR YOU.

WHY DID YOU KIDNAP YOUR FATHER'S HORSE?

[DOUG] TO PAY FOR THE WEDDING.

[MARY] OH BABE.

[DES] YOU LOST YOUR RING FINGER, TO PAY FOR THE WEDDING.

TOTAL GIFT OF THE MAGI.

[WALTER] OKAY, AND UH...

LISTEN NOW... UH...

ABOUT BEFORE... UH... YOU KNOW?

[JAKE] OH NO, NO, NO MAN. IT WAS MY FAULT, FORGET IT.

[WALTER] THANKS.

PSYCH!

[CHRISTIAN] HERE YOU GO BUTTONS.

[JAKE] ENOUGH WITH THE "BUTTONS" CRAP, ALRIGHT?

WHAT IS THIS? [CHRISTIAN] YOU HAPPY NOW?

[JAKE] LOOK, I DON'T WANT IT.

ALRIGHT? JUST FORGET IT.

IT'S PROBABLY GOING TO BOUNCE ANYWAYS.

[CHRISTIAN] YOU CAN BUY YOURSELF TO SOME NEW SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR.

YOU DESERVE IT.

[JAKE] SURE YOU DON'T NEED IT FOR YOUR NEXT ROUND OF REHAB?

[CHRISTIAN] I'VE BEEN CLEAN FOR 4 WEEKS NOW.

[JAKE] RIGHT.

[CHRISTIAN] YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME DO YOU?

[JAKE] NO. BUT I AM FULLY SUPPORTIVE OF YOU.

[CHRISTIAN] YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?

[JAKE] YES I AM. BUT AGAIN, I'M FULLY SUPPORTIVE OF YOU.

NIKKI TOLD ME ABOUT THE PRESCRIPTION PAD, CHRISTIAN.

[CHRISTIAN] IS THAT WHAT SHE'S TELLING YOU?

SHE IS NUTS, YOU KNOW THAT.

SHE TRIED TO WRITE ME A PRESCRIPTION FOR "PERCOCET".

I TOLD HER, THAT I DON'T NEED THAT ANYMORE.

[JAKE] YOU DON'T NEED TO LIE, OKAY?

SO JUST KNOCK IT OFF WITH YOUR CRAP.

[CHRISTIAN] AFTER THE FAVOUR I DID YOU?

[JAKE] WHAT'S THAT NOW?

[CHRISTIAN] YOUR LITTLE HOT COP FRIEND, LESLIE.

I BACKED OFF THAT.

[JAKE] EXCUSE ME?

[CHRISTIAN] YEAH, I HAD A CHANCE TO GO THERE BUT

I FOUND OUT ABOUT YOUR "THING" AND I DECIDED TO LET IT SLIDE.

I SAID, "LET BUTTONS HAVE A FAIR CRACK AT IT AT LEAST".

HE NEEDS IT MORE THAN I DO.

[JAKE] JUST CALL ME "BUTTONS" ONE MORE TIME. I DARE YA.

[CHRISTIAN] EASY, EASY, EASY...

BUTTONS!

[JAKE] DON'T PUSH ME, CHRISTIAN. [CHRISTIAN] HEY BUTTONS!

[JAKE] JUST...

[CHRISTIAN/JAKE]

♪I'M NOT GONNA BE A CRUCIFIX PIN CUSHION♪

♪I'M NOT GONNA BE A VOODOO DOLL♪

♪I FLY WITH MILITARY PRECISION♪

♪THIS IS MY HOLY GROUND♪

♪OH YEAH (OH YEAH)♪

♪OH YEAH (OH YEAH)♪

♪OH YEEAAH OH YEAH♪