Original subtitles

Let's have some service here.

Oi, new AG.

Where's Frankie Abbott?

Hang on.

We'll be with you in a minute, sir.

Oh!

Whoa!

It's Cabaret time, fellas.

Oh, it's you.

It's not my fault I'm late.

See me mum's away, aren't I?

I overslept.

You never guessed he was looking after himself.

It worked, I slipped.

Oh, being casual, ain't I?

And Cabot can look after himself.

Yeah, I'm living it up.

Do you know what I have for breakfast?

Gin of sardines and a banana.

Overworked?

Nah, the sardines was after.

With me cornflakes.

Yeah, but you're having a way any time now, your mum's away, eh, Frankie?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Getting the birds round for the evening, eh?

Candlelit table for two.

Bottle of lemonade in a bucket of ice.

Sardines and bananas laid out ready.

The climax of the evening?

Yeah, and a thing from the hidden depths is on the telly tonight.

Oh, I'm sure any girl would jump at a chance of an evening like that, Frankie.

Yep.

Let's start chatting one up, then, Frankie, eh?

Yeah, right.

Oh!

Yeah, sure.

Oh, come on, I'll get you round, budger.

Oh, spoils, spoils!

I've never been chatted up by a man in Donald Duck's liquid.

Hello, everyone.

How you doing?

All right?

Here, Moa, what do you say?

The sardine's candles, the thing from the hidden depths all in one evening?

Yeah.

See?

It done worked.

He's trying to chat you up to go round to his place for an evening with

romance.

Drop did.

Oh, but you'll be chocked, Moa.

Will he stop talking to me as I've just dropped off a cake stand?

Anyway, the answer's no.

Oh, right.

If that's the way I want to play, consider it all over between us two.

Ann Cabot, I'll look around for a new tart.

There's loads more out there.

That's the bus queue, Frankie.

Oh, what?

I'll cruise the joints.

On this tricycle.

Ann Cabot, the lone wolf.

Why'd it ease you in a pair?

A pair of what?

Oh, two of you, to give you immoral support.

All right, I'll take along a sidekick and we'll take this burger part.

I'll show them a thing or two.

Oh, well, that's a very funny thing.

Oh,I love his tits.

Here, Frankie, why are you sleeping on the sofa?

It's practical, isn't it?

Yeah,

I bet it's because you're scared of going upstairs in the dark on your own.

Right, not.

It's a good job your toilet's downstairs, isn't it?

Where am I, really?

F .A.

has never looked sharper.

Look, why have you dragged me round?

Because F .A.

has given his tot the bullet.

And I'm looking round for somebody new.

Well, don't look at me.

Greatly, boy.

It's looking for his new bird.

You can help me look if you like, then.

Oh, all right.

Where's she hiding?

Somewhere, out there in the teeming Acropolis, there's a tot with my name on.

Oh, do you think there's one with mine on?

Sure, kid.

All we've got to do is find them, then chat them up.

Oh.

Oh, I don't know about that.

Let's go and see Flash the teenage otter instead.

Nah, it's kid stuff, innit?

I've seen it, anyhow.

Now, we'll bring him back here, shall we?

What for?

You know, to do what people do on dates.

What's that?

Well, they...

They look at each other's belly buttons.

That's rude.

Ah, come on, Dan.

You're me mate, Dan.

You've got me grown up about these sort of things.

Now, I mean, I'll tell you what, you can borrow one of me moustaches.

No.

Ah, come on, Dan, please, Dan.

I've never done it before.

Oh, all right.

Honey, I don't know what to do either, Frankie.

It's OK, kid.

You just stick by me.

Aunt Cabot knows a thing or two.

Well, where do I start?

It's OK, kid.

Just follow me.

Do exactly what I do.

Oh, what am I going to do?

Do what Uncle Luigi says, Gina.

Find a man.

He's the only one in the family with any sense.

And like he says, somewhere out there is a man with your name on.

Oh, but what man or in his right mind would look at me like this?

Huh, thought so.

This town's no good to F8.

No talent around.

Oh, there's two over there.

Is there?

Yeah.

Go on.

All right, all right.

Stop pushing.

Go on.

I'm trying to play it cool, aren't I?

Hello, darling.

Hello, darling.

Stop using my chat.

Oh, they're not up too much, are they?

Look, it's too late to back down now.

Bloody old Frank Abbott magic is still there.

It's starting to work.

Can we sit down?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Do you come here often?

You've done this before, haven't you?

Hello, darling.

Well, you want to sit down, too?

Oh, yes.

Ah, good idea.

I'm Dennis, East Franklin.

I'm Lisa.

Gina.

Come here often, do you?

She's got a cold.

She's crying with Frankie.

Oh, I know a great cure.

Night out with Frankie Abbott.

What do you say?

The sardines, bananas and a thing from the hidden depths.

I'm not!

You are!

Shut up!

If you're going to be like that, I'm going.

Come on, Dan.

We're in here.

Play our cards right and it's belly buttons all the way.

This is a man of experience.

Yeah, well, I am, ain't I?

I've been a tech, you know, and in the army.

Oh, yeah, and Abbott's been around.

Yeah, he is trying to chat you up.

Am I?

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, well, man of the world, ain't I?

Do you know what I like to do in the evening?

Grab me some wheels and get away from it all.

Hear that, Gina.

He want to take you away from it all.

Where?

Oh, out of town.

Yes, but where?

Anywhere.

Sudbury, Dorking.

Who knows?

What's it talking?

Who knows?

But whatever it is, they'll find it.

Come on, then.

Where?

Dorky.

Oh, well, Dorky is a bit dead on Friday nights.

Sudbury, they know this is such a nice, a fulsome.

Fulsome?

We pair off, you know.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Come on, then.

Oh!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All clear?

All clear.

James, we can't go on a meeting like this.

Oh, no!

Don't do that!

Hey!

Brian, stop!

There's someone coming!

And just watch it!

Watch it!

We haven't done nothing yet!

You have noticed that.

What you talking about?

We had a hamburger, didn't we?

Yes, one between four of us.

Here, do you want to see this joke?

Go on, then.

That is a joke.

If round talks glow up the road, she has to go and get some ice cream.

I get it.

Oh, all right, then.

I'll get it.

Oh, enough dark up there, then.

Come with us, mate.

Come on.

Come on, scaredy cat.

What do you think of yours, Regina?

He's stupid.

So is mine.

Yes, but yours is nice, stupid.

Mine's nasty, stupid.

Well, it's just as we have shown he likes you.

What, have I thrown your glove up the road?

Look, Gina, you've got to find a man the way you are.

Maybe he's better on his own.

Oh, I'm sorry.

He's mad.

Oh, look, there's the bastard.

Shall we all go, then?

We will, Dennis.

You know?

Oh, yeah.

What?

Good riddance, aye, sir.

I'll do that, David.

Oh, why?

Because I've got a bar of chocolate.

We could have four squares each day.

Oh!

All right, then.

We can have six squares.

Oh!

Oh, look, Frankie, darling, what's in there?

Oh, I've got to tell somebody.

I've got to tell my mama and papa they will kill me.

Have you done something dreadful, then?

Yes.

Oh, but it's not as dreadful as something I've done.

What did you do?

I put snuff in me.

Mum's smelling something.

Oh, very much worse.

Frankie, I am in trouble.

Why?

Well, I got into trouble.

Oh, how?

The usual way.

Well, look, don't worry.

You've come to the right bloke.

Have I, Frankie?

Yeah, yeah.

I understand.

You only have to see him once a week.

What?

Your probation officer.

That's all you get for a first offence.

Oh, you don't understand, do you?

Oh, come on, take me home.

That is another boss, isn't there?

Yeah, relax.

There's one at 2245.

The one that's just gone.

Oh, come on, it'll be hours before we are home.

Not the YFI operator, right?

Can you afford a taxi, then?

Nah.

We'll wrap!

Oh, no!

Oh, Brian, I thought they'd never go!

A typical of kids today, sex maid.

I know.

Jane, tell me to walk life's beat together,

otherwise life won't be worth living.

Neither of your lives will be worth living if you don't clear out that bus,

Sheldon.

Come inside.

Oh, God!

Don't go!

Don't go!

Don't go!

Don't go!

But what is he like, this man with Gina?

Well, to look at his...

His...

Up underneath his...

Oh, wait till you meet him, Mama.

Hey, little.

Gina!

Oh, uh, Miss Sarah.

Why are you so late, my little Gina?

Well, you see, we had a walk all night, so you're not, my little Gina!

No, no, I suppose not.

Where have you been?

We went to Sudbury, Papa, under a roof!

What's up, sonny?

Whoa, whoa, we didn't actually get there, see?

Gina thinks we caught the wrong bus, but we didn't.

Ah, it's just me, innit?

I like surprising people.

Sit down!

Oh, it's all right.

I don't mind standing.

Sit down!

When Papa says to sit down, you sit down?

Oh, Tom.

No, listen, Frankie.

My lizzie, she come home before 11 o 'clock.

You are bringing my Gina home at 1 .15.

That's a quarter past 25, innit?

Don't try to confuse me.

What have you been doing with my daughter?

Sitting in a bus shelter.

A bus shelter?

Bus shelter?

It's true.

She...

She was there.

Not all the time.

Papa knows we caught the earlier bus.

Yeah, and we were going to catch the last one.

So, why didn't you?

There are no last buses from Sudbury.

You were all along with my daughter!

What?

She was there with 10?

We were on the bus.

And one is never alone in a green -lying bus.

Come on, sure, Mama.

Listen, Gina,

is it true that you have been alone for so long with these cetera -depressed

shelters?

Yeah!

Oh, Mommy, you did this so well!

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Now it's not the time to swap, to scamper away with the head.

Now, nobody loves our Gina more than I do.

I do.

No, you don't.

Yes, I do.

No, you don't.

Yes, I do.

Now, you don't have a place where you are scampering again.

Now, our little Gina, she is known as Sofia Loretta.

Eh, Carlo Ponte, maybe, but not Sofia Loretta.

The irritant, quit prepared to take her to Sudbury.

It could be a blessing in disguise.

In a row.

Frankie.

You are a man, no?

No, uh, yeah.

Always in the army.

Ah, then you know all about the honor.

Oh, yeah, it was written on my cat badge.

This is good.

Now listen, Frankie.

In my country,

when a man goes into a bus shelter with a woman It is the matter of honor,

you see, Frankie?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Throw it off.

I can see that.

I'm glad we sorted it out.

I'll see you around then.

Oh!

So you are prepared to stand up to the right things with my daughter, eh?

Eh?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, well...

CHEERING Oh, that is fun, isn't it?

Thank you.

APPLAUSE Yeah, Frankie, I'm not wasting my money.

I mean, you are serious, ain't you?

Yeah, straight up, I'm engaged.

You don't get engaged on your first...

F8 does.

Oh, well.

Here's to Señor and Señorita Abbott.

Señor and Señorita Abbott.

Yeah.

Hope they're getting an invite at a wedding, isn't it?

A wedding?

Oh, yeah, they'd be flocking in for miles around.

Yeah.

Where you gonna live then, Frankie?

Rome, Naples, Barba?

Ah, around me mum's house.

Oh, not Frankie.

Your mum's place won't be big enough to hold all them Bambi nodes.

No, just think of it.

Baby Abbott's everywhere.

Oh, you've put me right off me rum, Barba.

I can't have babies.

They'll set me mum's legs off.

Yeah.

That's all I've got there, Frankie.

Sharpish.

Yeah, you're right, El.

No, he can't do that.

They're Italian, remember?

Oh, yeah.

Honor and the mafia and all that.

Yeah, like in that film where they fed that bloke's feet to the fish.

While he was still in them.

No, like that.

They'll encase him in concrete and float him down the river.

They can't do that or sink.

Looks as though you were in trouble, Frankie.

Huh, Matthew, don't scare me.

Frankie Abbott knows what to do.

Oh, we shouldn't really poke fun at him.

I mean, marriage is a sacred institution.

With Frankie Abbott in it, it'd be more like a bleeding madhouse.

Yeah, don't worry.

Course we'll see him again, unfortunately.

Won't be able to get near him with the smell of garlic.

And plonk.

Is that what garlic makes you do?

Luigi says you are all the friends of Frankie Abbott.

What if we are?

Who are you?

Alfredo.

Lorenzo.

Nice to meet you.

We're looking for Frankie.

Where is he, huh?

We want a word with him.

What about?

Mama and Papa know about Gina.

And Papa, he said get Frankie.

Are you going to feed his feet to the fishes?

Well, you are the mafia.

We don't know where he is.

He said, do we?

No, no, no.

We'll find him.

Vieni.

Things to keep Fe alive, him hiding.

Food, bananas, cornflakes, sardines.

Oh, someone to talk to.

Mustn't be late for work, exile or no exile.

Dear Mum, this is your son Frankie writing.

I'm in deep with a mafia because of me tattoos and a bus shelter.

Sudbury is no place for an ex -tech.

I'm sure he'll understand.

Good.

Bye.

Your little soldier is retreating.

Ha, ha.

And if the mafia do come near me, I'll be ready for him.

And so, Hey Cabot, ex -tech and soldier of fortune,

steps into a whole new world.

Franky!

Franky?

Anybody home?

Anything?

Nah, nothing.

Find him?

No, no, no, but he will be back and we will wait for him, huh?

No, no, no.

Come on, come on, Frankie, we know you're there.

Come on, how do you know it's me?

It is, isn't it?

Yeah.

Well, there you are, don't I?

Come on out, Frank.

Now!

OK.

Oh, come on, fellas.

Let us out.

It's dark in here.

We'll suffocate.

Oh, thanks, fellas.

Anything I can do to repay...

Oh!

Get back.

I'll let you have it.

Listen, fellas, I'll take the honourable way out.

You Italians like that sort of thing, don't you?

Don't look.

This is the end.

Goodbye.

Papa wants to see you, Frankie.

Mama, we have to fire up young Jerry Papa.

We cannot do this to the boy, no ne or nastay.

He may be a cretin, but he must have a heart somewhere.

No, Mama.

It is the Anna Arey family.

What must be done, must be done.

Listen, I've only got three weeks to live from a sick man doing the tightness.

Listen, listen.

Frankie!

Papa?

Frankie, I'm sorry to ask you to come round like this.

Oh, that's all right.

I was passing anyway.

Frankie, yesterday, you say that you are the man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I still am.

Well, today you've got to prove it.

What, here?

No, in here.

Mama mio, you poor boy.

We do not want to do this to you, Paarello.

Oh, that's all right.

You don't have to.

I don't mind.

We've got to.

You see, Frankie, for two months, our Gina have been with baby.

Oh!

Oh, that's a long time to be with a baby.

No, you don't understand.

She's expecting this baby.

She is in trouble.

Oh, I...

Oh, that's sort of trouble.

Now, don't look at me.

It won't be.

I never looked at a belly button once.

You were used four squares of chocolate.

Four squares of chocolate?

No, we know that you are not a belly.

This, this, Ricardo.

Please, tell me...

Please.

No, no.

Do not push your temper.

I know you want to kill him.

I know you want to fight him.

But you cannot.

You must not.

Hey?

Oh!

Oh, let me get out of here.

Come on.

Anyone see it?

Faith or fish.

No, no.

No, no, no, my son.

No.

They don't call me TNT.

You have it for nothing.

It's the honour, aren't you, Seth?

The honour?

Kill him, hey?

Oh.

I don't want to fight him in your ass, do I?

It's bad manners, isn't it?

Oh, look at this boy.

Even when you're broken heart, he's still a gentleman.

Yeah.

Why have I got a broken arm?

Because our Gina would not want to be your wife!

Oh!

Oh!

No, no, no, please, have a wee.

We want Mars.

Yeah, do you mind?

I reckon this is Aunt Cabot's most tragic act.

The family will apologise, do you?

Well, that can't help me see the agony.

Do it.

I was looking forward to having a really Italian mamma and papa.

A really Italian mamma and papa?

Yeah, you've dealt a crippling blow to the future of the Italian F5.

Italian F5!

Oh, you would have had a beautiful son.

Ah, yeah, I know I would have, papa.

You couldn't lend me some money for some ships, could you?

I'm on my own at home.

To the solo?

You really want to belong to a family, eh?

Oh, yeah, I did.

And you really want to marry a nice Italian girl?

Well, I don't want any heart set on it.

What, until it was broken?

We can mend it.

Chips!

Now, my other daughter, Sophie!