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(gentle orchestral music)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(water splashing)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(gate closes)

(lock clicks)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

- [Cass] Mom, what are you doing?

You're gonna catch your death.

Come on. Mom.

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(branch cracks)

(fountain crashes)

(bird squawking)

- Mr. Sullivan?

(broom thudding) Mr. Sullivan!

God just took out Mrs. Gruper's birdbath.

He's getting closer, Clive.

Last year, it was a street light at the end of the block.

Now, it's Mrs. Gruper's birdbath.

I think God's zeroing in on me.

I have the feeling this is the year he lowers the boom.

- [Sully] Still alive in there, old lady?

Didn't die in your sleep, did you?

- Not yet.

(door opens)

- Well, you're talking to yourself, so it can't be too long.

- [Beryl] As a matter of fact,

I wasn't talking to myself.

I was talking to Clive Sr.

- Good, for a while there,

I thought you were going batty on me.

- Can I interest you in a cup of tea?

- Nope. Not now, not ever.

- Why are you wearing a necktie?

You're not in trouble with the police again, are you?

- Not unless you blew the whistle on all my parking tickets.

- I should. There's probably a reward.

(Sully sighs)

Before they do throw you in the hoosegow,

would you mind fixing the porch railing?

It's been broken for a month.

- [Sully] Sure thing, old girl.

- Just don't forget.

- Do I ever? - Yes.

- Well, I won't this time.

So, what's The Bank been up to lately?

- I wish you wouldn't call him that.

- Is Clive Jr. springing for Thanksgiving dinner?

- Yes, as a matter of fact,

my son is taking me to the country club.

- Uh-huh. We wear the chains we forge in life.

- I don't suppose you remember who said that.

- You did, Miss Beryl. All through eighth grade.

(door opens)

(door closes)

Hey, dummy-

Don't you have enough sense to come inside where it's warm?

- You know what I always wish?

I wish I had me enough money for a warm coat.

You know what else I wish?

- [Sully] No, what else do you wish?

- I wish we'd go back to working together like we used to.

I hear Carl Roebuck has

this big Victorian... Oh, no.

- Well, he's redoing it. - Nah, forget it.

- Six months work, all indoors.

- [Sully] Told you, I'm not working for him again.

Besides, my lawyer says when I get out of court today,

I'm gonna be a rich man.

(truck door opens)

(truck door closes)

- In that case, can I borrow $10?

- Rub, there are women in this town

that I could hang out with that would be cheaper than you.

(engine rumbles)

- [Rub] Yeah, but they wouldn't be your friend.

- Well, here we are again, Mr. Wirfley.

The question is, why?

- Your Honor, we would like to document for the court

the deterioration of my client's knee,

resulting from an injury he sustained

while in the employ of the Tip Top Construction Company.

I have here countless documents from reputable doctors

who have, who have...

I had them here some place-

- Mr. Wirfley. - With your patience-

- Mr. Wirfley. - Your Honor?

- You have failed on numerous occasions to demonstrate

that the injury in question was a result of negligence

on the part of the employer.

The court finds for the Tip Top Construction Company

and against Mr. Sullivan. (gavel clacks)

- Sully. Sully?

- I should've known better than to hire a one-legged lawyer.

- Well, you can't afford a two-legged lawyer.

Don't get discouraged, okay?

It's a temporary setback, that's all.

You've got to remember our strategy.

- Strategy? It's the first I ever heard of any strategy.

- Sooner or later, we'll wear the bastards down.

The court is already starting to get pissed.

You heard the judge.

- He's pissed at you, Wirf.

- Only because he knows I won't go away.

- I know how he feels.

(water splashes)

(clog barking)

(truck door opens)

(truck door closes)

(clog barking)

- He called in sick, he's on the phone, he's in the Bahamas.

Take your pick. He doesn't wanna see you.

- The Bahamas sound swell.

Ruby, grab his checkbook. We'll take off.

- There's about a thousand other guys

I would take with me before you.

- [Sully] Thanks, honey.

- I heard the judge threw you

and that two-bit lawsuit out of court.

- Hope you didn't have to pay him more than you owed me.

- Aw, Sully, don't be bitter. America's a great place.

Where else could a cripple and a drunk, one-legged lawyer

even get to talk to a judge?

Good news is I got a job even you can't screw up.

- [Sully] I told you, I'm not working for you

till you pay me what you owe me.

- Forget about it. You were working off the books, okay?

- You don't hire anybody unless they work off the books.

- And you won't work except off the books, Sully.

Think you got a right to steal from anybody

that's got a couple bucks in their pocket, huh?

I'm supposed to assume the position just 'cause you got

a bum knee and no prospects?

Bullshit.

Besides, you did shoddy work, okay?

You think I got where I got

by doing shoddy work? - What?

No.

(cup clatters)

You didn't get where you are by doing shoddy work.

You didn't get where you are by doing any work.

You got where you are because your daddy gave it to you,

and he drove himself into an early grave

so you could piss it away on ski trips

and sports cars. - I haven't been skiing

in two years, Sully. - Hey, look, personally,

I don't give a goddamn whether you go broke,

which you probably will,

but before you do, you're gonna pay me

what you owe me. - I'm not gonna pay you.

I don't owe you a goddamn cent, okay?

- Goddamn door, I'm gonna grab you by your pin head,

and I'm gonna throw you out the window.

- Five, four, three, two, one.

- What kinda work?

(cinder blocks clattering)

(window crashes)

(window crashes)

(cinder blocks clattering)

(Sully groans)

(Sully sighs)

(truck creaking)

(axle cracks) (air hisses)

Shit.

(car door opens)

(car door closes)

- [Peter] Dad?

- Peter?

- You need a lift?

- A|| right.

Well, been a while.

- Three yea rs.

- Weren't you supposed to be working at teaching...

What's that school?

- University of West Virginia.

- Oh, yeah.

What brings you guys this far north?

- Vera.

Welcome to the Thanksgiving from hell.

- Goddamn it, Charlotte,

if we're gonna start the weekend like this...

- Oh, Vera. How is she, anyway?

I don't think I've seen her since the last time

you guys were up here.

- Well, now, how can you live in a town this size

and not see your ex-wife all the time?

- That's easy, darling.

Peter's mom and I don't exactly travel in the same circles.

As a matter of fact,

Vera pretty much travels in a straight line.

- Somebody in this family had to.

- [Wacker] Who are you?

- He's your grandfather.

- Does he always look like that?

- Yeah, most of the time.

How come they call you Wacker?

(book thuds) (Sully groans)

- [Charlotte] Wacker!

- I didn't do anything. - You okay?

- [Will] He did so. He hit him.

- Stop the car. - You what?

- [Wacker] I did not.

- What happened? - You did so.

- Stop the car before I throw

that little son of a bitch out.

- You're gonna get it. (Sully groans)

(car door slams)

- [Wacker] How come everybody always

picks on me? - Go get your clad

and see if he's okay.

- [Peter] Somebody tell me what's going on?

- [Charlotte] What do you think, Peter? Go get your dad.

- [Peter] All right, all right.

- What did you do? - I'm going, okay?

- [Charlotte] Why are you always hitting people?

(Wacker crying)

- The hell happened, Dad? What's the matter?

(Sully panting)

Jesus Christ.

Wacker did that?

- Oh, don't be a jerk.

I fell off a scaffold about six months ago.

- Have you seen a doctor?

- [Sully] Yeah, saw about 20 of them.

- What'd they say?

- About 20 different things.

(Sully sighs) (Wacker crying)

Well, thanks for the lift.

- Look, get back in the car.

I'll take you wherever you wanna go.

- Oh, no.

(Sully sighs)

See you around.

- [Peter] You sure you're okay?

- [Sully] Oh, I'm good, I'm good.

Don't worry about it.

- Hey, listen, why don't you stop by Mom's tomorrow?

- [Peter] Huh? Better ask Vera about that.

- I don't have to ask permission to invite

my own father to Thanksgiving dinner.

- I'll think about it.

(gate closes)

(door opens)

Hey!

- [Toby] Yeah?!

- You ain't naked or anything, are you?

- [Toby] No, but I can be in about two seconds.

- Ah, take your time. I need a cup of coffee.

(telephone beeping)

- Hello? - East Towing?

- Yeah. - Sullivan.

- [Receptionist] Hi.

- Yeah, I'm just around the corner. 313 Harmon.

- 313 Harmon. - Pick me up.

- [Receptionist] Sure, Sully, that'd be cash or-

- Hey. Charge it.

Tip Top Construction Company.

- Okay. - Thank you.

(telephone beeps) (tools rattling)

Horace?

- Hi, Sully. I ain't naked either.

- [Sully] Oh, thank God for that.

- Lord, how does a man get that dirty?

- [Sully] Working for your husband.

- [Toby] I thought you were never gonna work for Carl again.

- Ah, it's just temporary. (clothes clattering)

- [Horace] Here's your keys.

I wish I hadn't of let you talk me into doing this.

- [Toby] Oh, well. I'd cash it as quickly as possible.

Thanks, Mr. Yancy.

- Hey, while you got your checkbook out,

why don't you pay me what your husband owes me?

Dummy and I ironed the whole thing out down at the office,

but all he had was the company checkbook, see,

so he... Nice try, Sully.

- He does owe me.

- Well, get in line. He owes everybody.

You take a big pile of money,

and you go have a heart bypass,

see how much money you have left after that.

(door opens)

(clothes clattering)

(door slams) - What's going on?

- Changed the locks, and throwing out his clothes.

As far as I'm concerned, he no longer lives here.

- It's a bold move.

(Toby sighs) Won't work.

It might get his attention.

- Well, maybe it will, and maybe it won't.

- You know what?

When my trifecta comes in,

why don't you dump what's-his-name and run away with me?

- Where would we go?

- Hawaii.

Some place where it's warm,

you know, where they got umbrellas in the drinks,

where they rub you with coconut oil.

(gentle orchestral music)

(horn honking)

Gotta go.

Hang in there.

- Hang in there?

That's it? That's the sum of your wisdom on the subject?

- It's the sum of my wisdom on most subjects.

(door opens)

(door opens)

(door closes)

(patrons chattering) (television chattering)

(chips clattering)

- Hey, there you are. Where the hell have you been?

I've been looking everywhere for you.

- Well, you should've given up.

Aces over.

- Three 10s.

- Phooey.

- [Wirf] Deal me in.

(players murmuring)

- I sure do like a woman whose love ain't for sale.

- Screw you, Sully. Gotta go tinkle.

- [Sully] Ruby?

- What now?

- Don't take your love to town.

♪ Ruby, don't take your love to town ♪

♪ For God's sakes, turn around ♪

- Have a little respect, fellas.

(players laughing)

- Look, I know we didn't do so good today,

but there's a zillion things we can try.

- Nope.

- When was the last time you won a case, Wirf?

- What's that got to do with anything?

- Cut.

- Grey river around a green monkey's ass.

(table thuds)

- You know, Sully, you're the only guy I know

still dumb enough to believe in luck.

- I used to believe in brains and hard work till I met you.

(Rub laughs)

Deal.

- Seven-card.

- Which one of your fancy doctors advised you to drink,

smoke, and screw your brains out?

- Those are unreasonable requests, Sully.

They wouldn't have made them if they didn't know me.

- If they had known you, they wouldn't have fixed you.

- Here you go, Jocko. - King bets.

(chips clattering)

- [Birdy] Last call.

- [Carl] You wanna Sheetrock one of them houses for me

over on Nelson tomorrow?

- Hey, I thought you said you were

never gonna work for Carl again.

- Shut up, Rub.

Sheetrock is a two-man job.

- What about it, rubber head?

- Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. I won't work on Thanksgiving.

- Sure, you will.

- [Rub] Hm.

- Double time. - In your dreams.

- Oh, Sheetrock the son of a bitch yourself.

- Why should I pay you double time, Sully?

- Hey, what's tomorrow, Rub?

- It's fucking Thanksgiving.

- Know what burns my ass, Sully?

You wouldn't even know it was Thanksgiving

if it wasn't for Rub.

- Know enough to know that it's double time.

Five. (chip clattering)

- Know what Thanksgiving is? Down and dirty.

Thanksgiving is a time for normal people, Sully,

to do normal things, to be in the bosom of their family.

And that, my friend, is not you.

- Still going to be double time.

- Yeah. Sheetrock the son of a bitch yourself.

- Bet's to you, Jocko.

- [Jocko] 10.

(chips clattering)

- [Wirf] Well, I'm out.

- What's wrong with you?

- I'm trying to communicate with you telepathically.

(Carl chuckles)

- Forget about it.

Only way to communicate with Sully is to whack him

in the head with a shovel.

It's your bet, genius.

(chips clattering) - 15.

- Call. (chips clattering)

- [Jocko] Call.

(chips clattering)

- Eights full.

- All the nines.

(Ruby chuckles)

- Jesus H. Christ. - God.

- I was trying to tell you to fold.

- Cash me in, Jocko.

You know, Rub, I think your supervisor here is in

for a little rude awakening.

Tomorrow morning, about 7:00 a.m.,

gonna be out there shoveling old Miss Beryl's driveway,

10 below, fingers freezing.

Then, all of a sudden, it's going to occur to him,

"Hey, I could be indoors working where it's nice and warm,

working with my old buddy Rub.

I know what I'll do, call my good friend,

Honest Carl Roebuck,

take him up on that Sheetrocking job he offered me,

maybe earn back some of my money I lost playing cards."

But you know what?

By tomorrow, it's gonna be too fucking late.

Think about it, schmucko.

(snowblower rumbling)

(planks clattering)

(window opens)

- [Toby] Is that you, Sully?

- Yeah.

- Did you come to steal our new snowblower?

- I've clone it already, just about.

- I could legally shoot you, and get away with it.

- Not unless I'm breaking and entering.

- Are you gonna break and enter?

(both chuckling)

- So, what's happening with Dummy?

- I don't know.

He took my threat to shoot him

a lot more seriously than you just did.

- The poor guy just had a bypass.

Maybe he's trying to cram everything

he can do into six months.

When he realizes he's gonna live until he's 70,

he'll slow down.

- If I had my way, he wouldn't live till Thanksgiving.

Go ahead, steal our snowblower.

You're the slowest goddamn thief I ever saw.

(window closes)

(door opens)

(Carl snoring)

(door closes)

(snowblower rumbling)

- [Carl] Sully, give me a light!

- [Sully] Huh?!

(dial clicks) — Give me a light.

- Go home, you jerk.

You're married to the best-looking woman in Bath.

- Who was it said, "A man's reach should exceed his grasp?"

- And tell her you love her, huh? Or else I will.

- God, Sully. (chuckles)

I sure hope I don't end up like you.

- I hope you don't either.

- 60 years old, and still getting crushes

on other men's wives.

I would hope, by the time I'm your age,

I'm a little smarter than that.

- Can't hurt to hope.

You sure are off to a slow start.

(car door closes)

(window whirring)

- You know, I got one just like that.

Identical.

(snowblower rumbling)

(chain rattling)

- Does this mean you're finally going to get around

to fixing my porch railing?

- I'll do it today, I promise.

- [Beryl] Do you mind my asking what you are doing?

- I'm keeping the guy that I stole this from

from stealing it back.

- Donald, does it ever bother you

that you haven't clone more with the life God gave you?

- Not often.

Now and then.

(gentle piano music)

- [Clive] And it's not just the theme park,

it's all the businesses

that opens along with it. - How are you?

- Hotels, restaurants, gas stations.

Do you people have any idea

what property values are gonna go to around here?

Why, just this morning, Mr. Lomax and I were talking

on the phone, and he said...

Well, C.W., do you mind telling

these people what you told me?

- The fact is, Clive Jr., we're talking about

an initial investment of a hundred million.

- You're joking. - That's just for starters.

(group chuckling) (bell jingling)

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I think they want us to go up.

Mother?

- Oh, yes, I will say

that I certainly have appreciated your hospitality.

Clive has been just wonderful through all of this.

I couldn't have clone any of it without him.

You must be very proud of your son.

- Actually, he's not really my son.

They switched bassinets in the hospital.

- It's a long story, Clive.

- She's just kidding.

- [Announcer] So now, the Dolphins will set up to kick.

Dallas, back deep to return for the Cowboys.

- Want some help?

- No.

- Mom, Charlotte wants us to leave in the morning.

It's just, it's...

We're not doing too well.

Being here makes it worse.

- You know who I blame for this? Donald Sullivan.

- Mom.

- There was a show on "Oprah" the other clay

about men who can't face responsibility,

about how they had destroyed their children's lives.

I promise you, it fit Donald Sullivan to a T.

There's one thing Oprah understands, it's men.

- What's that truck doing out there?

(engine rumbling)

Dad?!

' HEY, how are you?!

I'm sorry I'm late. I just got here.

Shit. (cigar clatters)

- [Announcer] 10. He's gonna dive for the goal.

Touchdown! Miami!

(door closes)

- Sully, is that you?

- [Sully] Hey. Ralph.

- [Ralph] What a surprise.

Vera will be tickled pink to see you.

- Your mother doesn't know I'm coming?

- I didn't think you'd really show up.

- [Ralph] Vera, guess who's here?

- [Vera] I'll be right there.

- What's taking you so long?

- [Will] I have to pee!

- [Wacker] Out of the way, doofus.

- Wacker!

(Wacker humming) (urine trickling)

Wacker, I'm warning you.

- Listen, I forgot something in the garage.

- Yeah. I'd better check on Charlotte.

(Wacker humming) (urine trickling)

- I really mean it this time, Wacker.

- Sully.

(Wacker humming)

(toilet seat clatters) (Wacker screams)

- Happy Thanksgiving.

- [Wacker] Mommy!

(Wacker screams) - Wacker, no.

Wacker, no.

(dishware crashing)

(Vera screams)

- Hey, come out of there now, Will.

- What are you doing here?

- Open the door right now. - What's the matter, sweetie?

- I mean it. - What happened?

Oh, what did you do to him? - Will!

- What did I do to him? What did he do to me?

What did he do to my mother's china?

- Charlotte, for God's sake!

- Don't "For God's sake, Charlotte" me.

What did you do to him? - I beg your pardon?

This is all your fault!

- [Charlotte] Listen, I have been to this house

long enough that I am-

- [Peter] All right, Will, I'm gonna count to 10!

(group yelling)

One, two, three. (door opens)

(engine rumbling)

(group yelling)

(gentle orchestral music)

(siren wailing)

(gearshift clacks)

(car door opens)

(car door close)

(window rattles)

- What's the matter now, Raymer?

- Broken tail light. This is the third time.

One more time, Sully, and I'm impounding this heap of yours.

- Jesus Christ. Raymer, it's Thanksgiving.

- Yeah, well, if you'd fixed it the first time,

this wouldn't happen!

It's $15. You can mail it in or you can come by the station.

If it's not paid within 30 clays, you'll be held in contempt.

- Boy, I hope you get laid sometime soon.

- You know, someday, smartass, I'm gonna nail you.

Okay? When you least expect it.

(car door opens)

(car door closes) (engine rumbling)

(Sully grunts) (ticket rustles)

(compartment door closes)

(gentle orchestral music)

(truck door opens)

- You okay?

Uh...

Will.

- Yeah, Will.

- Is he dead?

- Who? - Wacker.

- No, but he's pretty bent out of shape.

You better come and sit up front with me.

Come on. There you go.

Yeah!

(line ringing)

- Hello? - Missing anybody?

- [Peter] Oh, thank God. Where are you?

- Cozy Corner. - Okay, I'll be right there.

(handset clacks)

- Thank you. (spoon clatters)

- You and Wacker fight all the time?

- Sometimes.

- At least you got even. That's something.

- [Will] When Mom and Dad get divorced...

- Divorced?

- When Mom and Dad get divorced,

I'm going to go and live with my clad,

and Wacker will go and live with Mom.

She'll find out how really bad Wacker is.

- Yeah?

- [Will] And when Mom and Dad get back together,

everything will be different.

We'll live in a house instead of an apartment,

and I'll have my own room,

and Wacker won't be able to play

with my toys unless I say so.

And Mom and Dad won't argue anymore

or fight about money or anything.

(window knocking)

(door opens)

- Hey, pal. - Hi, Dad.

(Peter sighs)

- Thanks for calling.

The situation at the house has just gone ballistic.

- What's with you and Charlotte?

- Sometimes, I think you did the smart thing,

just running away.

- I only got about five blocks.

- Well, you might as well have gone to the moon.

- You trying to get me to say I'm sorry?

- No. I know better than that.

Come on, pal.

Let's go.

(Peter grunts)

(Peter sighs)

Tell me something. Do you ever even think about me?

- I guess, sometimes.

- Yeah. Well, I thought about you all the time.

(door opens)

(door closes)

(gentle orchestral music)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(truck door opens)

(radio chattering)

(door opens)

- Hiya.

- Hi. Come on in, Sully.

Come on. Take a load off.

This is men's night at Casa Roebuck.

We're drinking from the bottle.

(Sully sighs)

- [Sully] Where's Dummy?

- Where's Ruby?

Why does he do it?

- Well, he's not in love with her, if that's what you mean.

Hey, I don't know the reason why I do

half the things that I do, let alone your dimwit husband.

- Well, did you ever get so mad

that you wanted to shoot somebody?

- That's why I don't carry a gun.

- Well, maybe we should go out

and buy a couple of .357 Magnums and rob banks,

like Bonnie and Clyde.

Just you and me.

- Well, you'd have to be Clyde.

I'm too tired.

(Toby chuckles)

- You always cheer me up.

I think it's because you're the only person I know

who's worse off than me.

- Nah, it's because deep down, secretly,

you're in love with me.

- Really?

- You betcha.

- I guess we'll never know. Not at the rate we're going.

- Well, if you're not in love with me, I'm going home.

Oh, where did numbnuts hide the snowblower?

- [Toby] Over at the Tip Top.

- Huh. I'll steal it back again tomorrow or the next clay.

- Watch out for that mean-ass dog.

- Not worried about the dog.

I'm worried about whether I can get over

that fence with one leg.

- [Toby] Oh, you're a man among men, Sully.

- Well, thanks.

- That wasn't a compliment.

(door opens)

(door closes)

(gentle orchestral music)

- I know you don't like the idea,

but you should sell this place

and let me invest the money in real estate

out by the theme park.

There's big money headed this way. Serious money.

This could be the new Gold Coast.

- You're right, I don't like the idea.

Besides, I can't sell this place. I have a tenant.

- That's another thing. Sully has to go.

I was up there last night.

You should see that place for yourself,

countless cigarette burns.

This house could go up in flames any minute.

- Clive, you know Mr. Sullivan

does not like you snooping around.

- I wasn't snooping around.

I was just looking after my mother's interest,

which is more than she'll do for herself.

I mean, keeping this house is lunatic enough

without having a pyromaniac for a tenant.

Why is it that everyone in town

can see through him except you?

- Oh, dear God in heaven.

Mr. Sullivan?! Mr. Sullivan?!

- Mother, what is it?

Mother, what is it?

What's the matter? (broom thudding)

- Mr. Sullivan, come, quickly! It's Miss Hattie.

- Mother, I'll take care of it.

(door opens)

- Thank heavens you're still here. Hattie's escaped again.

- Stay put. I'll get her.

- [Beryl] Hurry. She's in the middle of the street.

- Hurrying is not what I do best.

- [Clive] I'm looking for my muffler.

- Is that The Bank? Tell him he's in trouble.

- Hurry. - I am hurrying.

It just looks like slow-motion.

(door closes)

(horn honking)

- No driving on the sidewalk.

- Hi, good-looking. You running away from home?

Where you headed?

- To my sister's in Albany.

- Ah. Let me give you a lift.

I think you'll get there quicker.

Okay-

- [Sully] Listen, what say you and me go dancing some night?

' [Hattie] Dancing?

- [Sully] Yeah, just you and me.

(door opens) — Hey, Sully.

- Oh, hey, Jake. - How you doing, Sully?

- [Sully] There you go, safe and sound.

- Oh, God.

Oh, Ma.

What gets into you?

Thanks, Sully.

- Yeah. - Rufus, take care of things,

okay, while I look after Ma.

- [Sully] Well, Rufus, I guess it's just you and me.

- Here, these go to Jocko. He takes ketchup.

- I don't get time for a cup of coffee?

(pot clatters) (cup clatters)

- [Clive] Sully?

- Give these to Jocko in the second booth.

- I wanna talk to you. - Hey.

- I could've... Takes ketchup.

- I could've handled that business.

I didn't need your interference.

- How was your Thanksgiving, Clive?

You have a nice clay? What'd you do?

- Nothing, nothing much. I just had dinner with my mother.

- Nothing much, huh?

I thought maybe you were some place you shouldn't have been.

(pack clatters)

- We've been through this before.

A landlord has- - You are not my landlord.

- My mother- - Is the only reason

I don't kick your ass.

(patrons laughing)

You don't get outta here right now, I may change my mind.

(patrons laughing)

Hey, the ketchup stays here.

(patrons laughing)

(door opens)

- [Host] Judge Wapner's verdict is coming right up.

- First of all, I'm certainly sorry that the bird died,

there's no question about that.

Sympathy is with you,

but we don't decide cases on the basis of sympathy.

- [Sully] Hey, Birdy, you got any aspirin?

- Is it your knee?

- [Sully] Yeah, thought it was getting better.

- That accident caused the trauma to the knee.

That's arthritis.

Arthritis doesn't get better, gets worse.

Here.

Eat these. You'll feel better.

(packet clatters)

- Thanks. Didn't know pharmacists made house calls.

How much do I owe you?

- Nada. They're samples.

- [Judge Wapner] Well, if you're really getting a guarantee,

then it should be in writing.

- [Sully] Okay, shyster, who do you like?

- The plaintiff. It's a lock.

- I'll take your defendant.

- You weren't even here for the stories.

- Yeah, but I know my lawyer.

Turn it up.

- He'd either have to be foolhardy or stupid to say,

"I'm gonna guarantee you a healthy bird."

Judgment is for the defendant.

(gavel clacks)

- You know, you're my only consistent source of income.

- I don't know why I even come in here.

- To be among friends?

- That must be it.

All you people oughta treat me better.

When I'm gone, you'll discover how hard it is to find

a one-legged lawyer who's always in a good mood.

Well...

(Wirf speaking in foreign language) "vaya con huevos amigos"

(door opens)

(Bird y chuckles)

- "Go with eggs?"

(Bird y chuckles)

(door opens)

(door closes)

- [Sully] Peter.

- [Peter] Oh, hi.

"[Sully] What's going on?

- I don't know. Where do you wanna start?

Wife and I had a major shootout last night.

She left, took Wacker with her.

- So where's Will?

- He's staying with me.

Anyway, I oughta be going.

- Hey, you busy right now?

Me?

Well, fact of the matter is, Mom has a headache,

and I promised her I'd get her some aspirin.

- Just the guy I'm looking for. Come on.

- Yeah, but I...

- Come on. Haven't got all night.

- You want some buns?

- Dogs don't eat buns.

- Buying ground beef for your dog?

- I don't have a dog.

(truck doors opening)

- Don't seem to care about that too much.

(truck door closes)

Anyway...

You know, she's been threatening to leave for months.

Thing is, I never should've

made her come up for Thanksgiving,

'cause Mom is the one person in this world

she dislikes more than me.

(dog barking) Jesus Christ!

- No, it's okay. (dog barking)

Here, hold this.

- God.

((109 growling)

(clog barking)

What's that?

(clog barking)

- One. - What's going on?

(clog barking)

- Two.

(clog barking)

Think it's enough?

- What are you doing, Dad? - Think you're right.

I think we need one more.

- [Peter] Dad.

- Oh, yeah.

Hey, Bowser!

(Dog growls)

Look at that. (dog barking)

Come on. Room service.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Come on. There you go.

- Oh, God.

I don't believe this.

I'm a member of Greenpeace, and I just helped poison a dog.

- Well, for one thing, it ain't poison.

For another, you didn't help much.

That part comes later. You had any supper?

- No.

- Well, come on. I'll buy you a hamburger.

(gentle orchestral music)

- [Peter] Hey, if it's not too much trouble,

would you mind telling me what the hell is going on?

- [Sully] Later, maybe.

(truck doors opening)

(truck doors closing) (engine rumbles)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

- [Peter] I'm not sure this is a good idea.

- [Sully] Don't worry about it.

- I don't know.

He could be waiting to pounce.

- Nah, he's all pounced out.

- [Peter] Well, maybe it's a trick.

- [Sully] Ain't the smartest dog in the world, you know.

- [Peter] Yeah, just the meanest.

- Watch. (fence clanking)

See?

(fence rattles)

Looks like a good place. Come on.

(fence rattles)

- Tell me again this is your own snowblower we're stealing.

- [Sully] I knew your mother was gonna raise you like this.

Get going-

- Well, what if somebody comes by-

- [Sully] Hey, hey, hey, climb, will you?

I'm not getting any younger.

- [Peter] All right.

(fence rattling)

(Peter grunts)

- Don't get stuck.

- Don't get stuck? That's it?

My father walks out on his family when I'm a year old,

and all my life, I've been waiting for him to show up

and act like a father.

So here I am, finally with my dad, together at last.

Quality time, right? And what are we doing?

Breaking and entering.

And what are his words of wisdom? "Don't get stuck."

(fence rattling)

Ooh. - You okay?

- [Peter] Yeah.

- All right, here. Watch it.

(bolt cutters thudding)

Try not to cut your arm off.

(chain rattling)

((109 growling)

' Dad?

((109 growling)

- Don't move.

((109 growling)

((109 growling)

(dog whining)

- You were right. That third pill was the winner.

Wow.

I mean, wow, that was...

You know, when I saw that dog, I thought... (chuckles)

I've never clone anything like that before.

You know what Mom's worst fear is?

That your life has been fun.

- Tell her not to worry.

I wanna show you something.

- [Peter] Hey, we're not gonna break

into this place too, are we?

- Nah. I got the key to this one.

Or I used to.

- You own this place?

- City probably owns most of it now in back taxes.

I grew up here. It was my father's house.

As far as I'm concerned, it can rot.

He was some piece of work, your grandfather.

- That good, huh?

- Yeah, he was good, when he was sober,

but then, I don't think anybody ever saw him sober.

Your grandmother took the worst of it.

She was just a tiny, little woman.

My god, he could make her fly.

One minute, she'd be standing over there,

and the next minute, she'd be

on the opposite side of the room, just sitting on the floor.

I made the mistake once of trying to get in between them.

I don't know, I was 12 or something,

and he didn't much care for that.

He...

I had thought he was gonna kill me.

- Jesus Christ.

- Anyway, fuck him eternally.

(Sully sighs)

I suppose you're gonna be saying the same thing

about me when I'm gone.

- You were gone, Dad.

I already said it.

(engine rumbles)

- Well, you sure did get over that fence

pretty good for a college professor.

- Yeah, well, I'm not a college professor anymore.

I was just...

I got fired.

It's no big deal.

University cut back the English Department.

Trouble is, it's just hard as hell

getting a job teaching these clays, you know?

I've been looking, and schools aren't hiring right now.

Anyway, I didn't mean to go on about it.

I'll figure something out.

- I don't suppose you'd be interested

in coming to work for me?

Ah, yeah, that'd be dumb. I couldn't pay you very much.

- [Peter] Minimum wage?

- Well, I could do better than that.

- That's fine. Sure, yeah.

That's fine.

- Sure you know how to do this kinda work?

- How do you think I put myself through college?

(garage whirring)

- Peter?! - Hi, Pop.

- That your clad with you?

- [Sully] Hey, Ralph.

- [Ralph] What's that?

- That's a brand new snowblower.

Thought you might be able to use it.

- I don't know, Sully. I can't afford something like that.

- I don't see why not. Didn't cost me anything.

- Yeah, that's true.

- Just as long as I can come back and borrow it

every once in a while, especially if it keeps on like this.

- No problem.

- Yeah, Pop, I think the best thing would be

to keep it in the garage.

- Under a tarp. - Right.

- Sure thing.

This is really awfully good of you, Sully.

(snowblower rattling)

- Don't mention it.

- I'll leave the door open for you, Peter.

- Thanks, Pop.

(plank clatters)

(tailgate closes)

Oh, damn, I forgot the aspirin for Mom.

- Well, why don't you give her one of these?

- [Peter] Oh, I don't know, that's...

- Don't worry.

She'll thank you for it. (chuckles)

Listen, tonight was pretty...

- Yeah.

(truck thudding)

(truck door opens)

(gentle orchestral music)

(patrons murmuring)

- Can I borrow a dollar?

- Nope. Can borrow a jelly donut, though.

- You can't borrow a jelly donut.

Once you eat it, it's gone.

- Once you borrow a dollar, it's gone.

I'd rather buy you a jelly donut.

- Morning, Dad. Hey, Rub, how you doing?

- Hey. - Morning, Cass.

Hey, you wouldn't have another one

of those for Will, would you?

- Sorry, Peter, that's the last one.

- Huh. You don't mind, do you, Sancho?

- Hey, did you see... It's okay.

You bringing the kid to work today?

- Yeah. Mom had to take Ralph to the doctor.

Don't worry. He won't be any trouble.

- Not the point.

Dumb. What if he gets hurt?

How? - He could fall in a ditch.

He could run into a nail. I don't know.

(Peter laughs)

What's so funny?

- [Peter] Nothing.

- You mean, I worry about him,

and I never worried about you?

- Well, you skipped a generation, didn't you?

(Sully exhales)

Okay-

Why don't you guys get going?

I got some stuff to do in town.

I could take Will with me.

- [Peter] That okay with you?

You stay with your grandad?

All right. Great.

Come on, Sancho, let's go to work.

- How come I gotta go to work with him?

- 'Cause I say so.

- Well, why are you so nice to him?

He doesn't even like you.

- I know, but I'm growing on him.

Come on, hotshot.

Wanna drive?

Come on over.

Come on. Scoot over.

There you go.

Just be careful of my bum leg, okay?

Ah. There you go.

Put your hands on the wheel right up here.

There you go.

Got it? Huh?

- [Will] Yeah.

- A|| right.

See how it goes there?

Okay, you're on your own, kid.

Ooh, there, whoa.

Ho ho ho ho. There you go.

Back, there you go.

There you go.

[Will] It's jiggling.

- No, it's not jiggling, it's wobbling.

That's what old trucks do, they wobble.

- I like it. It's a nice truck.

- Yeah, it is. It is kind of a nice truck, isn't it?

(water splashing)

- An invoice, from how long ago?

No, there's no sign of it, Leon. Mm-mm.

Sorry.

I'll keep looking, but no promises, okay?

Okay. Bye.

(handset clacks)

- So, what's going on? Where's Ruby?

- Alas, Ruby is no more.

She left behind a few tokens of her affection.

Want a souvenir?

- No, I don't think so.

So, where's Dummy?

- He's out at the annex.

He says that he's turned over a new leaf.

He says that he's a changed man.

- No kidding.

- Who's this?

- Hm? That's Will.

He's...

' [Toby] Hm?

- Well, he's my...

He's just kinda shy, you know, so I don't...

Annex, huh? - Yeah.

- You know, when Ruby was here,

she used to wear a see-through blouse,

so if you just wanna keep up with her...

Okay.

- [Will] What's the matter, Grandpa?

- What's the matter, Grandpa?

(Sully chuckles)

- [Sully] I'll see Yo“-

(Toby laughs)

Say hello to Will here.

- Hey, Will. (workers chattering)

- The only thing I have is from 1992,

and it says right on this, "Not an..."

It says, "Not an invoice,"

so I'm not gonna pay it, all right?

What?

You get it figured out and get back to me, all right?

Hey, Don Sullivan, thief of snowblowers,

poisoner of clogs, secret father and grandfather.

How they hanging?

- By a thread, as usual.

(Carl chuckles) Wanna sit over here?

Just don't mess things up.

- Your grandpa tell you how he steals people's snowblowers?

- You oughta feel sorry for a guy like that, you know.

He can't keep track of his toy.

(clog barking)

- That's funny how that dog hates you.

(dog whining) (Carl chuckles)

That's pitiful, isn't it?

Perfectly good Doberman, mean as hell, ruined.

- You seem full of piss and vinegar today.

(Sully sighs)

I was talking to Toby.

She said you were turning over a new leaf.

- You spoke to Toby?

- Yeah.

I didn't have the heart to remind her

who she was talking about.

- You talked to my wife?

Well, forget about it.

She's probably just telling people she likes.

(Sully chuckles)

- Don't tell me she's pregnant.

- Knocked up like a cheerleader.

(Sully laughs)

(Carl chuckles)

Yeah, I suppose now you're gonna wanna be godfather.

- Hey. I can't be the father and the godfather.

You gotta goddamn do something.

- Great white hunter make baby.

- Ha.

Well, big guy, down to some business, here.

I understand you got this Victorian that-

- No way. - That you're gonna remodel.

It'll give us six months work, most of it indoors.

- Forget about it.

- I got my son to worry about now.

- Don't even waste your breath, Sully.

Victorian house is a big job.

I need guys with two good knees

and at least a half a brain between them.

- Guy with half a brain wouldn't work for you.

Drop it.

Should've known better than to bring it up

to someone like you.

Come on, hotshot.

- That rattrap of yours still standing over on Bowdin?

- Why?

- Come on. Let's go take a look at it.

Got an idea I want to talk to you about.

(dog whining)

Breaks your heart, doesn't it?

You know who he reminds me of? You.

- Yeah, he is pretty well hung, at that.

Stay down here for a second, will you, Will?

- Watch your step, Grandpa.

(wood cracking)

(wood clatters)

Hey, hey, Sully. Hey, Sully, wait a minute.

Let's just break one of the windowpanes

and reach inside and unlock the door.

- I know what I'm doing, okay?

(door cracking)

(window crashes)

Don't say a word.

- Excuse me.

(door opens)

(glass shards clattering)

(Carl laughs)

(gentle orchestral music)

(glass shards clattering)

I don't know.

I don't know. I may owe Rub an apology.

He may not be the dumbest man in Bath.

(Carl chuckles)

Goddamn, Sully, you could've saved this place.

Could've fixed it up a little bit, rented it out.

Hell, you could've sold it,

put the money in your own pocket.

You just let it rot.

Just so you could stick it to your old man, huh?

He's been dead, 30, 35 years?

You still keeping score?

Well, here's the good news: You won.

This could be your crowning achievement, Sully.

(foot stomping)

All right, I'll make you a deal.

You sell me this flooring here, at a reasonable price,

and I'll let you and the other two stooges

work on the Victorian house.

Sully.

You Okay?

- Take it.

— What? — Take it.

Just pull out whatever you want.

Give the money to Peter, okay?

- [Carl] Hey, where's that little kid?

(glass shards clattering)

“ Will?!

You didn't think I forgot you, did you? Huh?

Well, I didn't mean to.

You wanna go inside and see where I grew up?

You'd like it.

Okay, you decide.

You can come inside with me

or you can go back and see your clad.

- [Wm] Okay.

- Okay, which?

- Go see Dad.

- Sure. Okay.

Let's go.

There you go.

(engine rumbling)

(truck door opens)

Your dad's right over there, okay?

(truck door closes)

- Hey-

It's okay.

You forgot him?

- Well, it couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes.

- Yeah, well it probably seemed like longer to him.

Probably seemed like forever to him.

You know, you...

God, I should've known.

You're never gonna change, are you?

(gentle orchestral music)

(car door opens)

(car door closes)

(bell tolling)

(doorbell chimes)

(door opens)

(door opens)

- I'd like to talk to Will.

I'd like to talk to my grandson.

Hey, hotshot.

Kinda messed up today, didn't I?

I mean, you were pretty scared, weren't you?

You know what I used to do

when I was your age and I got scared?

I'd try to be brave for exactly a minute,

and the next time, I'd try to be brave for two minutes.

- What were you scared of?

- I don't remember, but, hey,

when you get to be my age, you won't remember either.

Here.

You can time yourself with it.

The big hand will go around once, that'll be a minute.

Goes around again, that'll be two minutes.

Then you can tell how long you've been brave.

Here.

(stopwatch ticking)

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- Can I ask you a question?

Why'd you do it, walk out on us?

(Sully sighs)

- How the hell do I know?

It was a mistake.

Me and your mother was just a mistake.

What would you like me to say? I was a rotten father?

Well, I wasn't around enough for that, remember?

Not around. Not ever.

Safisfied?

- Well, if you're not a father to me,

how come you're a grandfather to Will?

- 'Cause you got to start some place.

(door closes)

(gentle orchestral music)

(stopwatch ticking)

(clock ticking)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

You alive in there, old girl?

Didn't die in your sleep, did...

(clock ticking)

(people chattering)

What happened? What did he say?

- If I tell you, will you promise

not to tell my son about it?

- No, I can't do that.

- Well, then, I won't tell you. Let's go.

No, I can do that.

- All right, I won't tell him. Now, what happened?

- It was a stroke.

(Beryl chuckles) - A what?

- A stroke. Just a tiny one.

It's not uncommon in people of my age,

but he gave me medication, and he said if I'm careful,

there's no reason I shouldn't live for a long time.

- I'm calling Clive Jr. right now.

- No. No, Donald, you promised.

- He's your son. He's got a right.

- Donald.

If you tell Clive about this, he'll put me in a rest home,

and there'|| be nothing I can do about it.

You know I'm right about that.

And if he did, I don't think I could bear it.

- Okay, but you're going to need someone

who can really look after you.

- I have someone to look after me.

- No. No, I don't think so.

I don't think that's a good idea.

- Do you still bet on that horse race of yours?

- What, the trifecta?

- Yes. Has it ever come in?

- Not yet. - But you still bet on it?

- Well, sure, I mean, the odds have

gotta kick in sooner or later.

- Fine. That's exactly the way I feel about you.

Now, will you please drive me home?

(car door opens)

Thank you, Donald.

- [Rub] Wish you hadn't told me those were rats down there.

Know what else I wish?

- What? - I wish some big old company

would move to town, pay us a lot of money.

We could work indoors.

No more Carl Roebuck.

Know what I really wish?

Really wish Peter would quit calling me Sancho.

I hate that name.

Fact is, I wish Peter would just flat go away.

- [Sully] What?

- I said, I wish Peter would go on back to his own home.

I liked it better when it was just the two of us.

I hate it the way you talk to him all the time.

You know, used to be you and me would go places together.

Now, he's always there.

- He's my son.

- Shh. He's coming.

- Hey, Sancho. - See what I mean?

- Any luck? - Yeah, think I found a place.

- Hey. - What place?

- Two-bedroom apartment for me and Will.

It's in a nice neighborhood, rent's not too bad.

- You mean, you're gonna stay?

- Yeah. Pretty much made up my mind.

- He's gonna stay here, work with us from now on?

- Looks like it.

- Well, there's not enough work for the three of us.

- Why don't you let me worry about that?

- Well, I don't like it.

- You don't have to like it.

- Hey, Sully, can I have a beer?

- What are you asking me for?

- 'Cause you're the boss.

- Ask him. He bought the beer.

- Here you go, Sancho.

- Hey. Where you going?

(can clatters) (beer spatters)

- I quit.

— Rub?!

Shit.

(Sully sighs)

Come on back here.

(gentle orchestral music)

(horn honks)

(horn honks)

(horn honking)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

- [Peter] Dad. Dad, you're driving on the sidewalk.

"[Sully] Relax.

Look at that. You ever seen anybody that stubborn?

- Yes, I have.

(horn honks)

- Can't figure it out.

All he's gotta do is duck behind something

and we're screwed.

- Oh, I'd have to say we're screwed anyhow.

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(tires squealing)

- Sully, you're on the sidewalk!

- Up yours, Raymer.

(siren wailing)

(tires squealing)

(tires squealing)

That's not a good place to park, Raymer.

' Enough!

Get out of the truck now, Sully!

Fun's over. Tm gonna have to put you under arrest.

- This is where a smart guy would get out of the truck.

- Come on, Dad. - Suit yourself.

(gearshift clacks) (truck door closes)

(engine rumbling)

Halt!

- Jesus, Dad.

- He'll never use it.

(gun fires)

Did he shoot?

- I believe that was a gunshot, yes.

I vote we surrender, if I have a vote.

(gearshift clacks) (truck door opens)

(Raymer panting)

(truck door closes)

- You stupid prick.

(punch thuds) (Raymer groans)

(Raymer coughing)

Well?

- Nothing. - Good.

For a moment there, I thought you were gonna be critical.

- Haven't I been warning you about something like this?

- Clive. - Haven't I?

The man's a lunatic.

- I'm sure there's an explanation.

- What explanation can there be for attacking a policeman?

I suppose I should be grateful he didn't go berserk

right here in this house.

I want Donald Sullivan out of here,

and I want him out of here now.

(door opens)

And if you won't do it, I will.

(door opens)

(door slams)

- I hate to say it, but for once in his life,

The Bank is right.

I screwed up.

Looks like I'll be spending a little vacation

at the county's expense,

so you'd better get yourself another tenant.

- I don't want another tenant. I've enjoyed your company.

- Face it, Beryl, I'm the wrong man for the job.

(Sully sighs)

Maybe it'll teach us both not to bet on long shots.

(Sully sighs)

(clock ticking)

(gentle music)

- What do you think?

- Sure doesn't feel like Christmas.

Get Rub to help you with the floors. Don't forget.

"[Peter] Okay.

- You can always get him down at the diner, you know.

- [Peter] Right.

- You know how to use a circular saw?

- Better than you.

- I doubt it.

How long do you think it'll take you to finish?

- [Peter] Couple of clays.

- Mm, well, get Rub-

- [Peter] Get Rub to help.

- Did I give you the keys to the Ford?

- [Peter] About an hour and a half ago.

- Mm.

Well, if you get any trouble with it,

just take it down to the Texaco station.

There's a guy down there by the name of Harold.

He's the owner. Just tell him you're my son.

- Right. You run into problems, drop your old man's name.

Watch the doors fly open.

- Can't believe it's gonna take you that long

to get me outta jail.

- Don't blame me, I'm a Jew. These aren't my holidays.

- A Jew, really?

I didn't know that.

How come you ain't smart?

- How can I start getting you out of jail

when you won't go in?

- Got a point.

(Sully sighs)

A condemned man gets a last wish, right?

I got my truck out back.

How about you and me go out there and get ourselves naked

and then just see what happens?

Okay-

- Haven't you got any pride?

- Go to jail, Sully. It's where you belong.

Look, your kid's asleep.

- [Sully] I haven't seen him like that

since he was six months old.

- Touching, isn't it?

- Breaks your heart.

(table thuds) Wake up.

- Oh, god.

Let's get outta here.

- Get the check, will you? - I'll pay your check.

- You okay? - Yeah.

- [Peter] Wirf will have you outta there

in a couple of days.

- Ralph's been a good father to you, you know?

- Yes, he has.

- You turned out all right.

- [Peter] So did you.

- Wanna hear something funny?

I never told anybody this before.

After I got out of the Army,

I went to college for about six months.

I really liked it.

- [Peter] Why'd you quit?

- [Sully] Said I liked it. I didn't say I belonged there.

- [Peter] Well, where do you belong, Dad?

- Right there.

For tonight, anyway.

- Want me to go in there with you?

' [Sully] Nope.

Good.

(gentle orchestral music)

- Well, I'll be out before you know it.

Hey!

Look after Wirf, will you?

And Miss Beryl?

- Right.

(gentle orchestral music continues)

— Oh!

Take care of Rub's jelly donuts.

- It's not gonna be easy being you, is it?

- Don't expect too much of yourself at the beginning.

I couldn't do everything at first, either.

(bottle clatters)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(door opens)

(door closes)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(newspapers clattering)

- But you gave me your word.

People here are counting on you. I'm counting on you.

- [C.W.] Mr. Peoples, did we sign any papers?

Now, listen, this is nothing personal.

I know how much you good people wanted this thing to happen,

but it's flat out not going to work.

- Why?

- [C.W.] Well, the fact is we crunched the numbers,

and they didn't add up.

- [Clive] But you don't understand.

These people bought a thousand acres

of depressed real estate because of you.

- [C.W.] Oh, you got that wrong, Clive.

Those people bought that land because of you.

- [Clive] You promised that this was a sure thing.

- [C.W.] Well, we were a teeny bit wrong

about that, wasn't we?

It's been good talking to you. Nighty-night.

(line clicks)

- [Man] Merry Christmas, Mr. Peoples.

- Merry Christmas.

(car door opens)

(car door closes)

(engine rumbling)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(bell tolling)

(people murmuring)

(car door opens)

- [Sully] Thanks, Ollie.

- God, I love small towns.

Where else in the world would they let a guy outta jail

for three hours just to serve as a pall bearer?

- Yeah. - Been arraigned yet?

- No. No, this afternoon.

- How you gonna plead?

- Temporary insanity.

We're gonna say that those pills

you gave me made me absolutely nuts.

(Carl applauding)

- [Carl] All right, girls, we're on.

(coffin rattling)

All right, here we go. One, two, three.

- Well, you must be feeling great.

- Well, why should I be feeling great? I'm in jail.

Truck's falling apart. I haven't got 40 bucks to my name.

- Yeah, but the trifecta you've been betting

for 10 years finally hit.

- Hey, be careful.

- My trifecta? - Yeah.

- [Sully] You mean, the one I've been betting every clay?

- It hit two clays ago.

- Well, I was in jail. I didn't bet it.

- You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?

- Now do you believe in luck?

- [Carl] Luck had nothing to do with you being in jail.

- [Wirf] Did you hear about Clive Jr.?

- No, what? - He skipped town.

- Hey. - Sully.

- Mr. Sullivan, have a little respect.

- [Sully] What?

- The money for the theme park folded.

Bank's stuck with all that worthless land.

So he disappeared.

- [Sully] Well, what about Miss Beryl?

- Not great.

- Boy, guy goes to jail for a couple of clays,

the whole town goes to hell.

- [Ralph] Sully?

- [Sully] Yeah, Ralph?

- [Ralph] Listen, remember that snowblower you gave me?

- [Sully] Yeah?

- [Ralph] Well, somebody stole it last night,

right out of the garage.

I covered it with a tarp just the way you told me-

- [Sully] Don't worry about it.

I know exactly where to find it.

(Carl laughs)

- [Carl] Never in a million years.

- Well, here we are again, Mr. Sullivan.

How's your knee?

- Rotten.

Your Honor.

- Well, it doesn't seem to slow you down much.

Doesn't keep you from punching out policemen or anything.

- Your Honor, we- - Mr. Wirfley, don't.

There are times when less is more, and this is one of them.

Now, then, how are you doing, Wyatt Earp?

- Your Honor- - Same advice: "Less is more."

Tell me, what do you usually do

when somebody throws a punch at you?

- Duck.

- Next time, do that.

Now, is it true that you discharged your weapon, Officer?

- Your Honor, it was a warning shot.

- Mm-hm. You know who you warned?

A little old lady sitting on her commode two blocks away.

Ollie, you know my feelings about arming morons.

You arm one, you've got to arm them all,

otherwise it wouldn't be good sport.

- Your Honor, Officer Raymer is currently under suspension.

- Anesthesia is what he should be under.

- Your Honor, I'd just like to say,

and what's this country coming to-

- Raymer, shut the fuck up.

(door slams)

(gentle orchestral music)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(gearshift clacks)

(truck door opens)

(truck door closes)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

- Well, I wouldn't sit here too long.

Tip of your dick will freeze to the top of the step.

Oh, I forgot, yours ain't that long.

- Yours ain't either.

- Because I fold it.

Wanna know how many times I fold it?

- It would hurt if you folded it.

Not mine.

(Sully sighs)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

- You know what I wish?

- No. What do you wish?

- I wish we were still friends.

- We are, Rub.

You know what I wish?

Wish we'd get off our asses.

Let's go down to The Horse and place some poker.

What do you think?

(gentle orchestral music continues)

- What about Peter?

- Hey, look at me.

Peter's my son,

and you're my best friend, okay?

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(Sully sighs)

(Sully sighs)

You're not gonna start crying, are you?

(Rub sniffling)

Should've stayed in jail.

(Ollie snoring)

I can bet 40. (chips clattering)

- Oh, boy. (Ollie snoring)

- I'm in. I don't wanna be in, but I'm in.

(Ruby chuckles) - Okay, sucker.

I'll see you

and I'll raise you. (fastener screeches)

- [Jocko] Mm. He's bluffing.

- Goddamn it, Bird y, close the door.

I'm sitting here naked.

- Then you should play better poker.

- [Sully] Jocko.

(Ollie snoring)

- He's in.

Oh, thank you, Bird y. - Mm-hm.

(Ollie snoring)

- [Carl] Don't show him your cards, Rub.

"[Sully] I call.

(chips clattering)

- Ace high flush.

- Read them and weep, guys. Queens full.

- Why not? - God.

- Damn, why shouldn't this be the night

I lose every goddamn hand in the game.

Goddamn theme park goes down the tubes,

I'm stuck with 14 crappy, half-built houses

I'm never gonna be able to unload,

and on top of all of it, for some reason,

Toby has taken exception with my new secretary.

- Whose gun is that?

- It's yours, bonehead. It was your ante.

- Hell, I should've busted this game two hours ago.

- All right, the game is seven-card stud.

One-eyed jacks

and suicide kings are wild. - Oh, come on, Jocko.

What are all these wild cards?

Can we just play a normal game of poker?

- How come she's staring at me like that?

- [Sully] 'Cause you're a good-looking guy, Rub.

- Am not.

- Sure, you are. Carl, is he a good-looking guy?

- He is at that.

- HEY-

- Sully, you might want to drop by

the Bowdin Street house on the way home.

- Oh, something wrong?

- No, nothing's wrong.

I left you a little something over there.

Spirit of the season, so to speak.

- Jocko. - Hm?

- You got any of those yellow doozies around?

- Why, is your leg worse?

- No. They're for Carl.

- [Jocko] Oh, my god,

- Here. Two tickets.

Hawaii. You and me.

- [Carl] Toby.

There's a perfectly logical explanation for this.

- There is?

- Well? - Hawaii?

No bullshit?

- No bullshit.

- Goddamn, Sully, when your luck turns, it turns.

- Luck has nothing to do with this.

I'll have to get a new bathing suit.

- The place we're going, you won't need anything.

I have enough coconut oil for both of us.

- I do you, and you do me.

- Yeah, that's the general-

- Oh, for God's sakes, Toby, you're pregnant.

- You can be the godfather.

- [Karl] Shut up, Sully!

- Sunny skies.

- Sandy beaches.

- No more snow, no more broken down pickup truck.

- [Sully] Oh, yeah.

- Damn, Carl, you going to let him get away with that?

- Ah, don't worry about it, Ollie.

He'll never go through with it.

- You wanna bet?

(Carl exhales)

Cash me in, guys. (chips clattering)

- Oh, I'll bet.

I'll bet you make it about as far as the plane out of spite.

But then you know what's going to happen, Sully?

Somewhere over Kansas, Toby's gonna start crying,

and as your ex-wife can tell you, Sully,

you don't handle that shit very well.

- Rub, in about a minute,

that poor son of a bitch is gonna realize

he's made the biggest mistake of his life.

He tries to follow us, shoot him.

(gun clicks)

- Sully.

- You got something to say?

- No.

- [Sully] Fine.

(door closes)

(truck door opens)

(truck door closes)

(gentle orchestral music)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(Toby sighs) (truck door opens)

Toby... No, don't.

Please, don't.

- [Sully] I wanna thank you for thinking of me.

- Yeah.

I...

You know, until a while ago, I could've,

but I just found out I'm somebody's grandfather.

I'm somebody's father,

and maybe I'm somebody's friend in the bargain.

So...

- Yeah. You are a man among men.

- [Sully] I know, it's not a compliment.

- No, this time it is.

How come you're always wrong about everything?

- You are the best-looking woman in Bath,

and you're gonna be the best-looking woman in Hawaii.

You're gonna be fine.

- Thanks.

We would've been terrific together.

- Yeah, I think so.

(keys jingling) (engine rumbles)

(truck door closes)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(door opens)

- Don't tell me they actually let you out of jail.

- Hey, what are you guys doing here?

- I took Will over to the new apartment,

so he could see his room.

He liked it.

We were on our way back to Mom's. I saw your truck outside.

- Happy New Year.

It's a clay or two early, but, hey, I got faith.

- Thank you.

To the good life.

- You call this the good life?

- [Peter] Sure looks like it from where I stand.

- It occurs to me I forgot to give you

your Christmas present. (quarter clinks)

Call your wife.

Telephone's right there.

- [Peter] You don't understand-

- Do it.

(quarter rattles)

(dial whirring)

- Hi, it's me.

Yeah.

I know.

Hey, don't cry.

Dad. I can handle this part myself.

- [Wirf] You'd keep my leg, wouldn't you?

- You don't need a leg, you need a parrot.

Should we give him back his leg?

You wanna take it to him?

It's not alive. It ain't gonna bite you.

You still got that stopwatch?

Wanna see if it works?

(gentle orchestral music)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

- Come on.

You think...

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

- [Wirf] Thank you.

(gentle orchestral music continues)

- Will, your mom wants to talk to you.

"[Wm] Mom?

(dial clacking)

[Iv] Dick.

- You know, I think I'm getting too old for this job.

- How come?

- You're starting to look good to me.

- I do that, I grow on people.

- Sommelier.

(Wirf speaking in foreign language)

Listen, I need a favor.

I'm serious about this.

It's your landlady. She's clone something for you.

- What?

- You own the house on Bowdin again.

She paid the back taxes.

(pistachio clatters)

- And you let her?

- I encouraged her.

- Fine. She paid the taxes, she owns it.

I told you I didn't want anything to do with that place.

- This isn't about what you want.

I don't give a damn what you want.

This is about need.

Clive Jr.'s gone, he's not coming back.

Now, this is the favor:

When she tells you, be grateful.

Make her feel good.

Is that too much to ask?

Sully, either you do this, or I'm off you for life.

I mean it.

' Dad?

Dad.

- Yeah?

- Could you and Rub spare me for a couple clays?

- Well, Rub sure could.

- How about you?

Okay-

- Could be more than a couple clays.

- Well, you run into problems,

just think what I would do, and then-

- [Bird y] Do the opposite.

- I'll remember that.

Oh. Almost forgot.

- What's that? — Here.

What do you think it is?

- It's a trifecta ticket.

(gentle orchestral music)

The trifecta ticket?

The one that hit?

How much?

- 5,800 bucks.

- And you bet it?

- You told me to, remember? Right before you went to jail.

- Oh, wow.

- How about that?

Intelligence, hard work, and good looks finally pay off.

- And to think, we were here to see it.

- Wow.

(door opens)

(door closes)

(door opens)

(door closes)

(door opens)

(gentle orchestral music)

(doors opening)

(clog barking)

- Hey! Try anything, you'll regret it!

(dog whimpering)

Oh, no, not a chance.

(chain rattling)

(light switch clicks)

(chain rattling)

(light switch clicks) (clock ticking)

(door opens)

- Oh.

Who are you?

(chain rattling)

(door opens)

- I fixed the railing on the porch.

(door closes)

(gentle orchestral music)

Can I come in and pull my boots off?

- Of course, Donald.

- Looks like you're the only one in town who'll have me.

I hope you didn't rent my room out from underneath me.

- Not yet.

- By the way, what's your policy on pets?

- I'm not sure.

- Well, we'll come up with something.

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(door closes)

- I'm going to have a cup of tea. Would you like one?

- No. Not now, not ever.

I'm sorry about Clive Jr.

- Thank you, Donald.

I keep thinking I failed him in some way.

- At least you raised him.

That's more than I can say.

There's a rumor around town that you did a good deed.

You stuck your nose where it didn't belong.

- I know it.

I'm an old woman, though. I'm entitled.

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(Sully sighs)

- Well, you're forgiven.

- Thank you.

Are you sure I can't interest you in a cup of tea?

- No. How many times do I have to tell you?

- Other people change their minds occasionally.

I keep thinking you might.

- You do?

Huh.

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

(door opens)

- You may as well come in too.

(chain rattling)

(gentle orchestral music continues)

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