Original subtitles

Where is it?

Where are you?

Once more unto the bag.

What have you lost?

Jacket pocket?

I mean, how am I supposed to find anything in...?

In the car?

Well, surgery's started.

James, have you...?

Siegfried!

God! Sorry, Mrs Stokes.

Ladies.

Ladies, ladies, out of there!

Open the door.

Ladies.

No, sir, that must be an oversight.

Yeah. I'll make sure we pay it as soon as possible. Thank you.

It's a right mess in there.

No, no, no. Dispensary. James, you all right?

Not in there. Hither!

Not the lunch. Oh, 'eck, my ironing.

Come on, ladies, come on.

That's it.

No, no, not in there. Not in my pantry!

James, grab her. Grab her! Got you!

I'm so sorry.

Not your fault. Come here.

Ooh. Get down from there.

As I was saying, Mrs Stokes,

keep her legs dry and apply this twice a day. Aye.

I know.

These are goats. Why are they here?

Yeah, well, Betty's got mud rash,

and she won't go anywhere without Hilda.

Aye.

We got a lift down to Darrowby with my neighbour.

The girls loved riding on that cart, didn't you?

Will you excuse me, Mrs Stokes? Yeah.

What were you thinking?

You said we should ask owners to bring animals in if they could.

What did you mean? I meant...

..use your judgement.

Look at this.

Come in. It cost a fortune.

You can't have used it all up on one goat.

Or did you give Hilda a good dusting, too,

so she wouldn't feel left out?!

I...

Mr Cargill called. Chasing payment for his invoice.

We're up to our eyes in farm visits, we're drowning in paperwork,

and you're chucking expensive wound powder around like confetti.

The goats knocked it over when you charged in.

I suppose we're lucky Mrs Stokes doesn't have a cow!

What were you doing anyway?!

What did you want?!

They're having a right ding-dong.

We'll send your bill, end of the month.

Well, there's no need, I'll settle up now.

First prize in t'Women's Institute.

Best autumn preserve. Thank you.

A hoof knife. MY hoof knife!

Well, if you leave things lying around...

Perhaps instead of an equipment cupboard

we should bury things in the garden. Worth a try.

Sorry, are you waiting...?

Maybe that's where I'll find my bloody suture kit.

Excuse me.

I can hear every word out there. You're gonna have to keep it down.

Mr Farnon.

Miss, erm...

Harbottle.

I've been wrestling goats.

They seem to have won.

Miss Harbottle and I met at the Farmers' Union dance last week.

The foxtrot.

Carpe diem.

You told me to call.

So I'm here.

To discuss your offer.

You need someone to take over the administrative burden,

leaving you free to concentrate on your veterinary work.

Miss Harbottle, I couldn't have said it better myself.

I think that was...

what you said. And what I said was...

"Bringing order to chaos is my speciality."

You're in the middle of lambing season,

you must be exhausted.

Especially without your brother to help.

Frankly, it's a wonder you've been able to manage at all.

Yes, I suppose it is.

Have you come far?

Oh, from Broughton.

I've just finished at Henshaw's, the feed merchants.

Oh. Secretary...

clerk and assistant to the manager.

Mr Farnon, perhaps you could show me around.

Yes, of course. Excuse me, Mrs Hall.

James!

..Mrs Herriot and Mr Herriot.

Ah. Yes, the junior partner.

Hello. How do you do?

We have two treatment rooms... for small animals.

But the majority of your practice is farm animals?

Mm.

And you're blazing a trail... with your TB testing, as I recall.

Yes. It's-It's very much a joint effort.

Shall we?

Ah! One of our brochures.

Our second treatment room. Ah-ha! Suture kit!

Oh. Well done!

Darrowby 2-2-9-7.

Oh, hello, Mr Dakin.

Oh, not again.

Poor Blossom. No, you...

you can't leave her like that, can you?

Ah.

My office.

I'm afraid paperwork rather has the upper hand, at the moment.

As does everything else.

What's that?

Hello.

You know that rats are as intelligent as dogs.

Aren't you? Yes.

And very affectionate.

Where's your cash box?

Oh. We just, erm...

Hm.

You just stuff it?

You go out, and you leave that money there day after day.

Well, it's never come to any harm before.

How about your petty cash?

It's all in there - petty and otherwise.

In my experience, Mr Farnon,

what's needed to transform even the most shambolic of businesses

are a few particular changes...

with the right person to implement them.

Mr Farnon.

Cow's got a torn udder.

Tell him I'll be up as soon as I can.

Already have. I've seen all I need.

I'm going to get started right away.

Terms as agreed.

You have a cow to attend to,

I need to get this place shipshape.

Now, where's your appointment book?

Oh. Excellent.

Oh. Thank you, Mrs Hall.

Now, any queries I have, I shall record it on one of these.

And I...

I shall keep it here for addressing at your leisure.

Splendid idea, Miss Harbottle.

Thank you, Mr Farnon.

Look, calm down before you talk to him.

Why didn't you ask me?!

At the farmers' ball?

I didn't realise we were handing out jobs

Oh, carpe diem. Quam minimum credula postero.

Oh, that explains it, then What will she do?

Save us from this paperwork apocalypse,

rescue us from our administrative quagmire.

Is it really that bad?

How many invoices have you sent out in the last month?

Er...

We have suppliers calling daily. We have to do something, James.

You could use an extra pair of hands.

Miss Harbottle's not a vet, that's what we're missing.

The point is, she'll allow us to be vets.

Maybe he's right. Maybe she can sort things out in there.

I doubt she knows what she's in for.

She's just dazzled by the Latin and the foxtrot.

If she can get the better of that paperwork,

I'll spin her round the dance floor myself.

You will not.

Well, she's 'ere now.

Only just. You took your time.

Worth coming up for the view. Always lifts the spirits.

Aye. Well, views don't pay bills,

and you can't see much when it rains.

Hello. Poor Blossom.

Let's see how bad it is this time.

Ah, it's a right mess again. Another cow trod on her.

Shh, shh, shh.

Yes, well, a sharp cow's hoof can do a great deal of damage.

I speak from bitter experience.

Blossom's never kicked anybody in her life.

It's up to you, but...

..this is the third time I've come out to stitch her up,

and I'm afraid it's going to keep on happening.

A low udder comes with age, and Blossom's getting on.

Oldest one here.

Apart from me.

She doesn't owe me anything.

It might cost more to keep her going than she brings in.

I'm just thinking of your business, Mr Dakin.

You think she should go, then?

Well, if there's nowt else for it,

I'll get young Jack at Mallock's to come and pick her up.

Listen, I'll sew her up again, so she's not in pain.

There's no charge.

I'll get you some hot water.

James! I'm going to the farm.

Drovers later?

Ahem!

Mr Herriot!

Erm...

Who's handwriting is this?

And this?

Oh.

I've had a go at his paperwork before.

Good luck.

See you later.

The accent, Paisley?

Aye. You?

Oh!

Now, solving Siegfried, Mrs Hall says there's an art to it.

I think of it more as code breaking.

Makes it more exciting.

Oh, that is a tricky one.

No, that's a D.

Hello? In here!

Gerald. I've been up the allotment.

Oh!

Oh!

Ooh, this is Miss Harbottle.

She's just joined us. How d'you do?

Mr Hall.

Oh, no, I-I'm Gerald Hammond.

Mr Hammond is a friend. Oh!

I assumed...

Glandular!

It's glandular fever.

Thank you. Come on, Rock.

You still wanna go to the pictures Friday?

A Girl Must Live.

That's the film.

Oh, sorry. Yes. I do.

I didn't, er... know there was someone new.

Nor me. One of Mr Farnon's ideas.

Oh. One of those.

Well...

Till Friday.

Come on, Rock.

Out we go.

Hello.

How's she getting on? The belle of the farmers' ball.

Ah, she's been at it all day and barely made a dent.

What you got there? Benjamin!

Ahh, that's good.

You're not supposed to be in here.

I know what you're thinking.

You must be thinking it, too.

I know.

I'm just not sure what we're waiting for.

It could all be over soon.

Oh, sorry to keep you. Hello.

The usual?

You heard anything more from Tristan?

Mostly smutty cartoons.

It's amazing how he can wind up Siegfried

from hundreds of miles away.

I reckon they'll all be home soon.

If it wasn't for the ration books and the victory gardens,

you'd have no idea there's a war on.

Oh! Miss Harbottle.

How have you found the herculean task

of tackling our paperwork?

Invoices.

I'll pop them in the post on my way home. You're a wonder.

And if you could take a look at these.

Scout's honour.

Good evening, Mr Farnon.

All rights, ladies and germs, sorry, gentlemen.

It's the moment you've all been waiting for.

Is it gonna be your lucky day? Because it is ferret roulette!

The coat is going down, the ferret's going in,

but where's he gonna come out? That's the big question.

Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen,

while I retrieve our little star from his dressing room.

It's the pride of Yorkshire, here is the ferret!

He's gonna go in, here he goes. Oh, go on, Maggie.

Oh, brave bet, thank you very much.

OK, he's going in. Here he goes.

Oh, no, is he getting to the bottom?

Yes, there he goes.

Yes, is it gonna be that one, is it gonna be that one?

Is it gonna be that one? Where's he gonna come out?

There we are, we're gonna see it right now.

'Ey, where's he going?

Ohh!

Aww!

I did not know there was a hole in the pocket.

Not bad. Rum?

No!

Pure luck.

Hello!

Don't worry, he's a gent, he'd never bite a lady.

What about a vet?

Well, I don't know about that.

Oh, he's beautiful.

Yeah, he's best of t'lot.

If you want rats catching or rabbits, there's none better.

Aw.

They are, if you treat them right. I've had ferrets all my life.

My dad brought a polecat over with him for the rats on the ships.

Yeah.

Bred 'em with Yorkshire ferrets, made them stronger.

Yeah.

Wilf. Aw!

Hello, Wilf.

Oh, he's got a lump here.

Oh, well. Doesn't seem to hurt him.

Ferrets get nipped all t'time. A bit of salt water'll sort it out.

Doesn't look like a bite.

Bring him over to the surgery, we'll take a look.

You can see him now.

We'll give him an anaesthetic, make him sleep.

Operate on the lump. We'll remove it if we need to.

You'd do all that for a ferret?

Of course.

Thank you.

Ferret roulette. Man's a genius.

Thank you, driver.

Good morning. Morning.

Ah, you... you're... there.

It sends the right message to the clients, I think.

You've moved things.

Oh, a place for everything, and everything in its place.

How was your visit to Mr Dakin yesterday?

Er, a simple job.

A cow's udder needed stitching.

Oh, no need.

Hand me the money, and I'll balance the books.

Yes...

I have taken the liberty of starting a cash box.

Petty and otherwise.

All transactions can be recorded in here, legibly.

I sometimes dip into the jug when I'm a bit short.

Oh...

I shouldn't, really.

I assume Mr Dakin has paid you in cash and not rhubarb jam?

I must've spent it.

Mr Farnon, what does the good of my trying to keep

an accurate account of the money in this practice

if you do not respect my methods?

Now... there's something else I want to discuss.

Every cancelled or rearranged appointment costs you money.

Animals are unpredictable.

Your clients are extremely predictable

when it comes to paying their bills.

Mm.

But it's not just jam, Mr Farnon.

I have found references, as far as I can read them,

to sausages, honey,

This is a farming community.

Now and again, we get gifts in lieu of fees.

How do you enter THEM in the balance sheets? Hm?

We... twiddle things about a bit.

Have you tried the jam?

If we ask the clients for a small fee when an animal is booked in,

I really don't think...

..we wouldn't be asking them to pay more, just pay better,

and preferably in cash.

If you want an efficient system,

you must be prepared to accept change.

It is nothing to be afraid of.

After all, you cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs.

I just don't think our clients...

It pains me to see a man of your talents,

forward thinking, full of vigour,

be held back by antiquated practices.

I am here to help you.

We'll give it a go. A trial run.

Leave it with me. Thank you, Mr Farnon!

Oh, erm, one more thing.

I think the rat would be better somewhere else.

I don't want to upset it... him.

Oh, he's not upset. He likes company.

Ah! Erm...

Hello.

There.

Now he's out of the way, and he can still see what you're doing.

Happy?

James, you couldn't lend me a few bob, could you?

I'm doing a lecture for the Young Farmers. They're a thirsty lot.

Is the pint jug empty?

Miss Harbottle's put it all in a box.

Are things not going quite as smoothly as you planned, Siegfried?

Of course they are! It's an excellent system.

So you're happy with all the changes, then?

Well, why shouldn't I be?

After all, you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.

Well, if it's too much trouble... Ahem!

Thanks, old chap.

Miss Harbottle might take some getting used to,

but I think she's just what we need.

Hector, please.

Hello, Hector. Come on in, boy.

Come in.

Veterinary said to make an appointment.

Hm. This way.

How are you, Joe?

An appointment for... Wilf, my ferret.

I meant your name. Oh. Mm-hm.

Joe Coney.

Coney. As in rabbit. C-O...

Yes, thank you. I know how to spell it.

Course, it's not my real name.

Which is? Joe Di Gervanacum.

Best stick with Coney, eh?

Mr Herriot said he'd be needing a surgical appointment

with an anaesthetic.

Mm. We'll need a deposit, Mr Coney.

Eh?

Half a crown, deductible from the cost of treatment.

Well, I in't got cash, but it's your lucky day.

I have summat much better.

Oh, good Lord.

What's the matter? Oh, you want to meet you skin it for you?

Please would you kindly get that thing away from me.

Hey.

You never said owt about half a crown. I'm sorry?

All clients must make a deposit to receive an appointment.

Didn't Mr Farnon mention this to you?

Just book him in, and we'll discuss the details later.

No money, no appointment.

It's all right.

I wouldn't take one if you paid me.

In veterinary practice, the animal comes first. Always.

In my book, obedience to rules is the mother of all success.

What's this about paying to book an appointment?

It's just a trial.

So can I book Joe Coney's ferret in without a deposit?

If you must.

Mr Dakin telephoned.

Not Blossom again? A cleansing.

Oh, it's a different cow. So, can this wait?

Mr Farnon has a farm call.

Excuse me.

Who's in charge here, you and me or Miss Harbottle?

Oh, that is ridiculous.

We need to build trust with our clients, not scare them away.

We need a functioning business.

We're vets.

If you have more blinding insights, they'll have to wait.

Not only does she not seem to care for animals,

she's putting them at risk.

Whatever personal animus you may have against Miss Harbottle,

I suggest you set it aside for the good of the practice.

This can't be what you want!

Look, we're all missing Trist, but this, it's madness!

Look, all I'm saying is...

whatever it is you're trying to fix, Miss Harbottle is not the answer.

Hello, Blossom. How are you?

In here!

The scar looks good. Do you want me to take the stitches out?

Don't matter. She's off to t'knackers.

Just waiting for Jack to come and pick her up.

Are you gonna wait around all day?

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

You've got room for a few more calves in here.

Suckling calves need milk. I sell all mine.

It would be an investment.

Too much work at my age, lugging buckets of milk around.

Oh, that'll be Jack.

This the one? Aye.

She must be nearly as old as you.

Don't hit her!

She'll go wherever you want, always has done.

And shut the gate.

Now, aye, our Blossom. Not your fault, eh?

Goodbye, old girl.

Come on, then.

I remember the night she was born.

Snow coming down hard.

I put a sack over her to keep her warm.

I picked her up, help her stand.

She never made a fuss.

She's always been a gentle soul has Blossom.

And I wouldn't like to count

the thousands of gallons of milk she gave.

She still gives four a day.

No...

She don't owe me a thing.

Wait!

You said suckling calves are too much work,

but Blossom's got plenty of milk.

Put her in there by herself.

With no cows standing on her, she'd live like royalty.

What's to do, Dakin?

Am I taking this cow or not?

No, she's staying here.

I fear I've misled you, Mr Dakin. Oh.

You saw there was a problem, Mr Farnon,

and you came up with an answer.

Just wasn't the right one.

Come on, Blossom. Aye, Come on.

You going out?

Is everything all right?

Miss Harbottle and I have had a polite disagreement.

About what?

Where is he?

Where is he?!

Sorry, old chap.

This won't do at all.

Is it a comedy?

Yeah, and it's got Margaret Lockwood in it.

Violet creams.

Before we go in, there's something I wanted to say.

It's been on my mind, and I wanted you to know.

When Ms Harbottle mistook you for my husband...

It was a simple mistake.

Well, I didn't know what to say. I'm sorry.

You've nothing to apologise for.

Now, this is your evening off...

let's make the most of it.

German guns tried to achieve

what Nazi bombers failed to do.

From the French coast, high-velocity guns bombard our shipping.

In you go. There you are.

Yes. In you go.

Oh, you were out late.

How are the Young Farmers?

Their devotion to the brewing industry is admirable.

The Women's Institute do lectures. No-one gets drunk.

Good thing, too, they're formidable enough sober.

Mrs Hall, I'd like your advice.

Erm...

It could be argued that I'm not one readily to admit

when I've made a mistake.

I've heard it said.

Miss Harbottle's convinced that she's right about everything.

I don't think she'll accept there's a problem.

How does one handle someone like that?

First... be kind.

It's not her fault you offered her a job.

Be kind.

But be honest. She's not daft.

Be kind, be honest.

That's exactly what I had in mind. Thank you.

I'll speak to her tonight. Except the longer you wait...

Quite right. Best do it now.

Be kind, be honest.

Miss Harbottle, I wanted to say...

I wanted to tell you...

Miss Harbottle.

I wanted to tell you how very grateful I am

for all the work you've put in here.

You've done so much in such a short space of time.

Thank you.

You came aboard a rudderless vessel and steered us

between the Scylla and Charybdis of chaos and debt.

You're too kind.

All of which is to say...

Please, your embarrassing me.

In truth, I relish challenges,

and I look forward to staying as long as the practice needs me.

Oh, and, Mr Farnon...

When you have a moment...

It's like some kind of sorcery.

So she doesn't know she's been let go?

A spectacular derailment. What was?

He tried to give Miss Harbottle the boot. You did?

I had a Damascene moment after you and I last spoke.

So, what went wrong? Suaviter in modo, fortiter in re.

The iron hand in the velvet glove.

Looks like I'm treating Wilf in The Drovers, then.

No, this is a veterinary practice.

Whatever happens, the animal must come first.

So what do you suggest?

Bring the ferret in tonight after six,

when Miss Harbottle's gone home.

I'll tell Joe.

Well, he may need some persuading.

What do you want?

You should never have been treated like you were. I'm really sorry.

It weren't your fault.

Could you bring him by the surgery just after six?

Will she be there, Miss La-di-da?

It'll just be me and Mr Farnon, don't worry.

They'll look after Wilf, and you as well.

There's always an ale or two on offer at Skeldale.

Go on, Joe. We'll come wi' you. Aye.

I think it would be better if Joe came alone.

No. I'll come if we can all come.

Are you getting them in? Top rum?

Aye. Aye. Look after Dash for me.

Oh!

Mrs Herriot.

Have you seen Mr Farnon?

Afraid not.

Hmm... I was really hoping to see him before I went.

No matter.

I'm sure I will see him tomorrow.

Good night.

Good night. Good night.

The bird has flown. Thank you.

She's gone.

Are you sure?

So, are we ready, then?

As we'll ever be.

Eh, Wilf? Oh, God.

Wilf!

Give up. Give up.

Oh, God, hang on. Ah!

Come on.

Ladies and gentlemen, the first thing we're going to do

is a biopsy of the growth,

like coring an apple, take a look, and depending on the results,

remove the lump in some way.

A lumpectomy, so to speak.

The suffix "ectomy" is a Latin version of the Greek "ectomia",

a cutting out of.

Right, let's get on with it.

Now that the animal is anaesthetised,

we'll shave the area around the lump

and then use this to find out what's inside.

Depending on what we find, we'll either drain it

or make an incision and then scrape it...

..or cut it out.

Siegfried.

Right. Help me get him out.

We know it's not an abscess.

We know it's not a cyst either.

Yes, I don't like the look of that.

Let's make sure we get it all out.

Feeling better?

Is it over? Is he all right?

It's a good job you brought him in when you did.

Any longer, and I think we'd have seen some metastases.

In English.

The operation was a success. What operation?

I forgot to take the post.

You went behind my back.

Mr Farnon, you have undermined my authority.

An authority I should never have surrendered.

You, I am sorry to say, Mr Farnon, are...

disorganised, erratic and irresponsible.

And you are ignoring the fact that we're vets.

We put animals before profits.

Your ambition and talent are unquestioned, Miss Harbottle.

But this is not a place for you.

I'm afraid I'll have to let you go.

You can't sack me, Mr Farnon.

Because I resign.

I see.

Perhaps...

we should have left it at the foxtrot.

Here we are, Joe.

Thanks, Mr Herriot, Mr Farnon.

Let me settle up with you.

Don't worry about it, Joe. We had a whip-round earlier.

Your mate said it was worth it

to watch you keel over like a sack of spuds.

Are you sure?

Cos I've half a dozen rabbits out back if you'd rather...

That's quite all right, Joe, thank you.

Usual for you all?

I realise I've made everyone's lives a bit miserable.

Thank you, Siegfried.

I hope you're not planning on using those.

I'll pay it back.

If not in cash, then in labour.

Dash!

Hello. Hello. Hello.

Did Uncle Herriot forget you? No.

Maybe.

Come on. Let's get you a pork pie.

Poor Siegfried.

"Carpe diem" kind of bit him in the bum, didn't it?

I don't know.

Maybe it wasn't such a terrible idea.

Miss Harbottle? No. Carpe diem.

I've been thinking about what you said...

and I'm starting to think that we should...

..carpe some diem.

Are you saying what I think you're saying?

If you want to start a family...

You know I do. Me too.

Well, then...

Shall we... Get cracking?

I was trying to think of something a bit more romantic.