Original subtitles

Previously on "A Million Little Things"... I quit my job!

What? Yeah.

Tom: Hey. You're Maggie's friend.

I'm Tom. Gary.

Grape soda. How vintage.

I thought I'd...drop off a little care package.

It can't be easy staring down another round of treatment.

Nope.

Every day, you push away more and more of Dad.

I want to remember him.

Why -- Why don't you?

I don't know where we go from here.

I'm still trying to figure out how we got here.

I could blame it on you and Delilah,

but the truth is,

we were broken long before that.

♪ My house in Budapest ♪

♪ My hidden treasure chest ♪ Delilah: Hey, Gina.

So, I got the, uh, the tile samples,

and I forgot --

what did we say, your place or mine?

Everything okay, sweetie?

Yeah, Mom. Amazing.

My place it is.

Oh, actually, uh, Rome,

can D and I meet here,

or do you have to write today?

Oh, no. You're good.

I got to run an errand later anyway. Great.

She's 15.

She'll be out of the house in three years.

Just stock up on wine.

♪ Oh, for you ♪

Gary: All right, sir, let me ask you this.

How many people are actually gonna be with us

on this thing?

Because between the two of us,

the whole reason I'm planning this trip

is because I'm trying to trick her

into sharing this pretty important secret

she's been keeping from me.

Oh, it's --

You're the guy.

It's -- It's us and you.

Okay, um...

...well, in that case, uh...

Whoa. Whoa.

Here she comes. We'll see you soon.

Just be cool.

Okay, your Larry Bird Celtics soap dispenser

is officially a cry for help.

Please call my office.

I will make you a referral.

And I'll have you know that I painted

that soap dispenser all by myself

when I took Theo to Paint The Rainbow.

Wow. Mm-hmm.

It's a masterpiece.

You know what Theo painted? Hmm?

An ashtray.

Nobody smokes.

Everybody washes their hands.

Go home, change, pack a sweatshirt.

No spoilers.

And I will pick you up at 11:00,

and we will go to an undisclosed location

and share a day that we will cherish

for the rest of our lives.

♪ And, baby, if you hold me, then all of this will go away ♪

Eddie: All right, buddy. Here we go.

Let's put it on.

All right.

All right, now, arms up.

Your arms are branches.

Katherine: No, Carter, I'm e-mailing my redlines now.

Have them inputted before I get to court... Oh!

...so I can give them to the judge. Yeah!

Theo:

Oh, wow.

This is great.

It's really great.

Eddie: Of course it only took us,

like, four trips to Home Depot.

Six.

But it was worth it.

Little man, you're gonna be spectacular!

It's just a small part.

Small part?

There are no small parts.

Mommy's right.

Ooh, I have to get to court,

but my whole office knows that tomorrow morning,

I will be going to the theatre.

But the show's today.

No, it's the 8th.

You told me it was the 8th.

It is today.

It was moved because of the field trip.

I thought they e-mailed both of us. No.

Apparently they only e-mail the primary parent.

You're still coming, right, Mommy?

Hey, you know what, bud?

Why don't you

go upstairs and put on your school clothes?

Theo: Okay.

Damn it. I'm in court all morning.

Listen. It's gonna be okay.

I can just film it.

You don't get it.

I know you think I'm distant.

I am just... trying to survive.

I didn't get to see our son awake yesterday.

Well, no, we did FaceTime --

Don't say "FaceTime"!

Don't you dare say "Face --"

FaceTime was probably invented by a woman

who also didn't get to raise the baby she had.

I don't want to go to court.

I want to watch my son be a tree.

I was never a difficult teenager.

I was a delight.

My parents were the crazy ones.

Oh, my God.

Well, I was the worst.

Did you ever make your mother cry?

I made my father cry.

I once backed his car into his other car.

Sophie's never learning how to drive.

It sounds like you didn't either.

I just -- I have so much on my plate right now,

and my plate just got fuller.

Just breathe.

Everything is gonna be okay.

You're right.

Ugh. Who is it?

The principal at Sophie's school.

Hi, Mr. McIsaac.

Oh, my goodness.

Yeah, I-I'll be -- I'll be right there.

Thank you.

What happened?

Sophie just punched someone.

You sure you don't want kids?

I'm having a sale.

Ooh, I need to get down there.

Do you want me to drive you?

I really don't.

Eddie: Guys, I messed up.

"Snow White" starts in under three hours,

and I need to delay it until Katherine gets there.

Any ideas how?

What do you got? Throw them at me.

Ooh! Ooh!

You could just pull the fire alarm. That's on me.

I should've been more specific.

No felonies.

Well, there goes my idea.

I'm afraid to ask.

Oh, you make a real poison apple.

Okay.

That'll buy a couple hours, or forever.

Come on, guys. This is serious.

What is that noise I'm hearing?

I'm making apple snacks

for Theo's play,

and I got lemon juice in my fret finger.

Fret finger?

No, that's not a thing.

Okay, guys, not helping.

I need a win here. Wait, wait.

H-How -- How is this your fault again?

The whole reason Katherine's not the primary parent

is 'cause she's had to work crazy hours

ever since my band imploded,

and I don't know if you guys are aware,

but we're not in a great place right now.

Well, was that before or after

you slept with other members of our friend group?

Wow. Yeah, I know.

But Katherine has done nothing but support me,

and I want to support her.

And you think getting her to a second-grade play

is gonna make up for years of alcoholism and infidelity?

You might want to check your math on that.

Are you ready to call your first witness, counselor?

Permission to approach, Your Honor?

Your Honor, I move to adjourn until tomorrow morning.

On what grounds, counselor?

Full disclosure, Your Honor.

My son is a tree in the school play,

and the forest takes the stage at noon.

No small parts.

Exactly.

Your Honor, you know hard it is

to be a working mother.

Indeed.

In fact, this morning,

my daughter had a fever of 102.

And yet, here I am.

Shall we call your first witness, counselor?

And there's a part of me that feels like

I shouldn't be allowed to tell them that I need help.

I should be stronger than that.

'Cause you can't be the reason you don't make it.

What?

That's how it works, right?

You can't be the one in your family

who's tapping out.

It's hard enough.

Between racism, gangs,

police messing with us --

you can't be the reason you don't make it.

Am I right?

How am I supposed to drive over here in my Tesla

and tell you that my life is bad?

You have a right to feel depressed, Rome.

You have a right to acknowledge that you're unhappy.

But I can't. And you have a right

to be happy.

I quit my job to pursue my dreams.

I thought I'd feel different.

But I don't.

Is there a history of depression in your family?

There's a history of "we don't talk about that"

in my family.

No, my mom's a solid.

My pops is a real go-getter.

Gets up at 4:30 every morning,

works like 12 hours a day.

He ain't got time to be sad.

Well, I think you should ask your parents

and keep talking to me, if that helps.

In the meantime,

I am gonna start you on an antidepressant.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, so, if I agree to do it,

how long do I have to take the meds?

If they work, for the rest of your life.

Principal McIsaac: As you know, at Holy Cross,

we have a zero-tolerance policy.

But I'm also aware that your family

has been through a lot.

Thank you for being so understanding.

It has been a difficult time for us.

Um, that said, Jon and I never condoned violence,

and I, for one, am embarrassed, and...

I'm sure, Sophie, that you are, too.

If I could, I'd hit her again.

Sophie, I don't understand.

Chloe didn't even touch you, right?

What makes you think it'd be okay to hit her?

She put Dad on a prayer list,

said suicide's a sin and that he's burning in Hell.

I know that you're upset,

and what Chloe did was wrong.

Look, I understand that you're hurting -- Yeah, no.

You don't understand, and I don't expect you to.

Whole reason I go to Holy Cross

is 'cause Dad went here.

He took us to church, he taught us to believe in God,

and now the one person

who understands how I'm feeling is gone.

I still think that I understand --

You know, the Bible says

that you're not supposed to take a life,

but that's exactly what God did,

so either he doesn't exist or he's a hypocrite.

Which is it? You can't believe that.

God, are you kidding me?

You don't believe in any of this.

You've been to church twice in your entire life.

Once when you married Dad,

and then when you buried him.

So, Mr. Andrews, am I to understand

you were unaware that Huntington Properties

misrepresented their second-quarter earnings?

That's correct.

You turned in your work laptop, exhibit 22.

Mr. Andrews, did you delete

any files on the hard drive

before surrendering your laptop?

Objection. Speculative.

He'll answer.

It's possible.

So, it's possible

you deleted financial records of a company

prior to turning in

a subpoenaed piece of evidence? Objection.

Your Honor, can we have the rest of the day

to identify any deleted files?

Counselor? I'm good with that.

Court is adjourned until 10:00 Monday morning.

Well played, counselor. Enjoy the theatre.

Eddie: Perfect.

Oh, cutest tree in the forest.

And thank you, Eddie, for parking respectfully

before getting Theo's costume out.

Unlike Kelly, who thinks

just because she drove three of the seven dwarves

that she can hold up the carpool lane

for the better part of 10 minutes.

Hi, Gail.

Hi. Come on. Beth.

Beth: Eddie.

Hey, Dad. Is Mom gonna be here?

You know what, bud?

She's gonna try her best.

"Try" always means "no."

Child: Hey, Theo!

Hey, what's up?

Hey, GPS has me there in 38 minutes.

Great.

But the play starts in 20.

I'll stall.

How are you gonna do that?

No idea.

Maggie: Wow! Gary: Yep.

I did not think of you as a hot-air-balloon type.

Well, drink it in.

You know, Gary, I got to say,

I'm a little surprised.

I'm a little pleasantly surprised.

Well, there's a lot you don't know about me, Maggie.

Maybe some things I don't know about you.

But I did check this website.

It looks great.

The basket seemed bigger online.

Ooh!

They're serving chocolate-covered strawberries

at 3,000 feet.

3,000 feet?

No, that's...got to be a typo, right?

Gail: Okay, everybody, freeze.

We are missing the evil queen's apple.

What?

No red apple?

There's no "Snow White" without a red apple.

Yeah, that's what I just said.

I will just run to the store

and, uh, be back in like 20 minutes.

Just go to the teacher's lounge.

There's like 40 in there.

Okay, I got it.

You're a hero.

If you're interested in continuing that streak,

my wife is just running a little late from work.

Could you delay the production 20 minutes?

Yeah...

No.

If we delay it, the kids get hangry.

But, you know, the only reason

she's running late in the first place

is because your school

only e-mails the primary parent.

Well, Mr. Taylor, in our family,

we're both the primary parent.

I get it, Eddie,

but a lot of parents here have jobs to go back to.

I promised Gail we'd start the show by noon.

Okay, I get it.

I mean, Gail's a working mother, too.

You know what?

What happened with my wife makes me realize

it is about time working mothers

had more of a say around here.

Am I right, Gail?

Gail: What's that? I mean, you're always telling me

that the drop-off line is inefficient

and doesn't get her back to work on time.

Oh, yeah.

If we're waiting for one kid who forgot his backpack,

the whole line comes to a standstill.

Two lanes -- it just makes sense.

I thought we were talking about the play.

We're talking about the play.

We're talking about pick-up.

We're talking about drop-offs.

We're talking about some kid's backpack. It's everything...

Yes. ...Taylor.

Plus, I know Beth has a few things

to say about snacks.

Beth: Yes, I would like -- Gail: Beth, no.

Okay, just 'cause Lucas can't have sugar

doesn't mean all the kids have to suffer, okay?

Gail: In the afternoon, it needs to be safe

for my second-grader to come in.

Beth: And we need more after-school activities.

Those fifth graders start sooner --

Swimming, drama classes. I-I hear you.

...'cause they're allowed to walk together.

A lot of things that need to be done in this school.

And maybe the buses shouldn't line up in the front.

And honestly, you don't need --

Renee: Walter, for once, will you listen to me?

Walter: I will as soon as you make sense.

Well, you need to call someone.

Someone costs money. I'm free.

Well, it won't be free

when you fall off the ladder and crack your skull open.

I'm not moving into no facility.

I'm not gonna do it.

Hey, Mom.

Romie.

I didn't know you was dropping by.

Maybe you can talk some sense into your father.

I'm not calling a different man

to fix something in this man's house.

Okay, Pop, you go ahead. I got you.

Two things --

how much you pay for those sneakers?

And get your hands off my damn ladder.

Yeah.

Delilah: Sophie, you're suspended.

I get it, Mom.

It's on my permanent record,

and I wrecked my life

because I'm never getting into Harvard.

No, what I was gonna say is you're suspended...

I'm suspended.

We're spending the day together.

What do you want to do?

Gary: Okay.

As we await our inflatable

and, from the looks of it,

highly combustible chariot,

sit back, relax, and enjoy the fact

that I have brought the city of Chicago to you.

Maggie: Oh, my God.

You hate deep dish.

Because it's disgusting.

But if that is the only way

to score points with Maggie Bloom,

then I will eat this soggy excuse for pizza.

Note -- mushrooms on your half.

What is happening?

Just when I think I know you, Gary.

Well, that's what today is all about.

Getting to know each other.

Yeah, it's funny that you say that, actually.

Um...

Um...

I actually did want to tell you something.

You have my undivided attention.

Um...

Well...

Mm, something's happened, and --

Is that grape soda?

I love grape soda.

It's delicious. Please continue.

We've never talked soda.

How did you know?

You know, it's an easy leap to make.

You drink a lot of wine.

Tom.

You talked to Tom.

I don't know a Tom.

I'm Gary with the grape soda.

My God.

When he came by with the care package.

Of course. Oh, my God.

Okay, fine.

The grape soda was boring Tom's idea,

but everything else is me.

Okay, this whole day --

Is a lie.

Is this this day of deception

to try to get me to open up to you?

I mean, uh...

What else did he tell you?

I am so sorry.

I'm sorry. I should've told you.

I should've been more straightforward.

Okay, I know that.

I blew it. I wanted to.

I just -- I wanted you to tell me yourself

so that I could tell you that I am here, okay?

I am here,

and I will do whatever it takes to get you well,

and we will fight this thing together.

Oh. Okay?

Look.

The thing is that he didn't tell you everything

because he does not know everything.

What doesn't he know?

I'm done with treatment.

I'm not gonna fight my cancer.

Mmm! Wow.

So, you're just gonna let yourself die.

I don't know if you've heard, Gary,

but we're all gonna die.

The question is,

what are you gonna do with your life

before that happens?

I, myself, am going to eat

half of a mushroom deep-dish pizza

and take a romantic hot-air-balloon ride.

I encourage you to join me.

With all due respect,

that's the stupidest thing that your face has ever said.

Maybe.

But I learned it from you.

What?

The night we met -- In a remission group.

Mm-hmm, exactly.

I was not supposed to be there,

but I'm glad I was because I met you.

Do you know where I was supposed to go the next day?

Chemo.

My first round...again.

But instead,

after hooking up with a devilishly handsome guy,

I went with him to a funeral,

and I met his crazy, wonderful friends,

who made me realize

that I would rather keep the life that I have right now

than waste it fighting for a future

that I probably won't even get.

It doesn't have to be that way! Well, exactly.

You of all people should know that!

No, I do know that.

That's why I'm not letting it.

Gary, these last few weeks have been better

than the whole 28 years before that.

No way. I don't buy that. No, you do the chemo, Maggie.

You do the chemo,

and then you get 28 more great years!

You can't guarantee that, Gary.

You can't.

No one can.

But I can guarantee

the quality of the time that I have left.

You're a numbers guy.

You know that I could fight this

and have what the doctors say is a 30% chance of living,

or I could keep doing

exactly what I'm doing right now

and have a 100% chance

of loving the time that I have left.

Wow.

I -- I --

I don't want you to take this the wrong way,

but I...

really, really wish you hadn't met me.

Man: Got another one!

Mom, it's back on!

I thought we were watching a movie.

What -- What are you doing with Doug?

You still mad at Chloe?

Yeah, I hate her stupid face.

Thought so. That's why I brought up Doug.

Let's put the gloves on.

Dad bought all this equipment and only used it once.

He burned more calories

taking it out of the packaging.

All right, let's take it all out on Doug.

Can I call him Chloe?

I don't think we should.

So, when are you gonna put a baby in that wife of yours?

You know we ain't doing that.

I just want you to have what I have.

Dad.

Mm-hmm?

You ever feel, uh...

You ever feel down...

for more than a couple of days?

Maybe after your grandma died.

I'm not talking about that.

Everybody feels sad, son.

Feeling sad is just a part of life.

Gail: Oh, God.

That was incredible. Just incredible.

I got so emotional.

Oh, my God. I missed it.

You didn't miss it.

You didn't miss it.

It starts in two minutes.

What? Yeah.

Beth and, uh, Gail started this whole thing

with Mr. Taylor. Oh.

Your husband, can I just tell you,

he spoke up for working moms,

and for the first time,

we're getting some results around here.

Yeah, I, uh, may have incited a 20-minute debate

about carpool lanes.

For me?

Uh, excuse me, guys?

Uh, there's a problem with Theo.

Theo: Jenna says I have a stupid part

because I'm just a tree,

and no one will even notice if I'm up there or not.

That is not true.

She should know, Dad. She's Snow White.

You don't get it.

When you were in your band, you were the lead.

Well, I know how you feel.

You know what's funny?

Sometimes in the family, I feel like that.

You do?

Sometimes.

It's 'cause you and Dad do such a great job

of being the leads,

but sometimes 'cause of work and stuff,

I feel like just another tree in the forest.

You know what, buddy?

Snow White can't get lost in the forest...

...without the forest.

You know, sometimes it's easy for us trees

to forget how important we really are.

But it's nice to be reminded.

Isn't it?

What's he doing?

He wants you to put his costume on him.

Oh!

Ready? Yeah.

Oh, my goodness.

Mwah!

Oh, for God's sake.

Where are we going now?

We are gonna play basketball.

Yeah, you want to live in the moment?

Play some basketball in the moment.

The game is to 21.

Winner takes all.

If I beat you,

you're gonna fight cancer with me by your side,

and you're gonna win just like you won last time.

Unfortunately, right now, you're gonna lose.

Deal.

But if I win,

I am not getting any treatment,

and you can't so much as mention it ever again

to me or anyone.

Game on.

Gary: Come on. I'm waiting.

Show me what you got. I'm right here.

Let's see. Huh?

What are you waiting for?

You want to retire this jersey, Deep Dish?

You're gonna have to get by me.

I will get by you

and your wannabe James Harden beard!

Oh, no!

Why would I go and do that?

Not again!

The beard must be...

too tight.

6-1?

6...1?

1, yeah.

You're gonna be spending your golden years in Boca.

Also, I think we can probably ix-nay

the full-court element. Yeah. Yeah.

What? Are you tired?

What? You tired?

No, I just don't want to be here all day, you know?

Oh, okay.

Ohh! Wow!

Sophie:

Nice. You feel better?

No.

Okay.

Plan "B" -- let's eat our feelings.

Yeah!

Yeah.

Sophie: Okay.

I'm not gonna lie.

I'm just --

I'm a little bit worried

about your ankles.

Oh, come on.

Great.

15 for me. 6 for you.

We are going to chemo.

We're going to chemo.

What else you got?

Huh, Hammer pants?

Please, Hammer.

Don't hurt 'em. They're just --

Maggie: You want to talk about pants?

You just got pantsed.

Okay.

So, you've got one move.

That's gonna work one time.

Well, they did call me "Magic Mags."

Everybody thinks they're Magic in grade school.

Oh, no, this is college.

Brown University, Division I.

Hold up. Division I? No.

You're 5-foot...child.

Yes, I am,

and that's what every college recruiter used to say.

And then I would...

do this.

That's bush league.

You can't feel good about that.

It was all right. Two can play at that game.

Bye, Dad.

Walter: Thanks for the help, son. Yes, sir.

I love you, Mom.

Bye, baby.

Bye.

Listen.

I heard you talking to your father.

Don't let him fool you.

He's had his share of dark days.

Believe me.

You've got to take care of yourself.

Not just for you, but for Regina, too.

Watch your ankles.

Oh, no! 20-19.

I guess I'm keeping my eyebrows.

Maggie: Oh, my gosh.

You are living to be 100.

You're gonna be cruising the applesauce aisle

in a velour track suit made for a baby.

Next point wins.

Next point wins.

Uh-oh.

Picked up your dribble.

You'll never make this shot, Deep Dish.

Haha!

I win!

I win!

It's not fair. You hustled me.

You know you did.

Cancer's not fair.

Okay.

Nice game.

Well played, Ms. Bloom.

Have it your way.

All right, we've done chicken wings,

nachos, movie-theater candy.

What's next?

How about you take me to school

so I can throw up on Chloe?

You know, Chloe doesn't know where Dad is.

I don't know where Dad is.

I wish he was here

because I think he'd have all the answers for us.

And I don't know if there's a Heaven or a Hell,

but if there is,

I would love to believe that he's in Heaven

'cause I just refuse to believe that he's in Hell.

I just have all these questions

and hardly enough answers.

You're 15.

You're not supposed to have these questions yet.

I'm 43.

I'm still trying to figure it all out.

Really?

Yes.

It's like that song goes, remember?

"Someday you'll find it."

"Rainbow Connection."

Your dad sang that to you right through my belly.

Yeah, I came out thinking

my dad was Kermit the Frog.

Maybe Kermit's trying to tell us something.

Hmm?

Someday we'll find it.

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow,

but I'm gonna be right here with you

until you find all the answers you're looking for.

Thanks, Mom.

And when you find them, share them with me.

And from now on, only hit Doug.

Deal.

And you're going to Harvard

and I'm coming with you.

Oh. Kidding.

Okay.

Hey, buddy. Brush your teeth!

Then you get 15 minutes of screen time.

All right, I'm gonna smell your breath.

I'm not.

Man, he was so great today.

I can't stop thinking about, uh,

the curtain call.

He started bowing and he never stopped.

I wanted to yell "Timber!"

On the plus side,

his costume was all padding, so he was fine.

Thanks for today.

I wanted you to see your son be a tree.

I can't be with you anymore.

We worked well together today,

and it reminded me of what we don't have.

This isn't us.

Maybe it can be.

We were great today.

Yeah, but instead of making me happy,

it made me angry about everything.

I don't think I can get past it,

and I don't think I should have to.

I don't know if I believe in us anymore.

I spent so much time trying to figure out

why you've done the things you've done,

and I realized what I need to figure out

is why don't I feel like I deserve more.

So, tomorrow night,

you want to go check out that new taco place

in Coolidge Corner?

You're asking me if I want to eat tacos?

Of course I want to eat tacos.

Okay, well, I finish with my last patient at 6:00, so...

6:01 it is.

Okay.

♪ Take me down a road ♪

♪ I believe in ♪

♪ Lost the way ♪

I can't -- I can't do this.

I ca-- I can't watch you die.

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

Okay.

Please, please.

Please don't ask me to.

Please ask me to stay.

Look, I'm -- Look, I'm right --

I'm right here,

and we'll fight this together.

And we will beat this... together.

That's not the deal.

♪ No reflection ♪

♪ Take me to a place ♪

Wait, don't do it.

Don't go. Don't. Don't. Don't.

♪ I believe in ♪ Don't get out of the car.

Don't. Don't. I --

♪ Lost my way ♪ Don't get out of the car.

♪ Lost all reason ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Give me something ♪

Thank you for a great day.

♪ Give me something ♪

Bye, Gary.

♪ Give me something ♪

♪ To hold on to ♪

♪ I've got nothing ♪

♪ Since I lost you ♪

Eddie: You guys have been saying for months now

that Katherine and I should split.

You finally got what you wanted.

Gary: Come on, Ed, that's not what we wanted.

What we wanted was for you to be happy.

Yeah.

And you weren't. Remember?

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Okay.

My couch is your couch.

As long as you need it.

Rome:

Thanks, roomie.

Maggie's gonna love that. Oh, yeah.

Who doesn't love dating an adult man

with a roommate?

Yeah, my life isn't going

exactly the way I want it to right now.

Announcer: Get an icing call.

When we come back... Then we're gonna get along great.

...2:12 left in the second.

Commercial break.

Bathroom break!

Gary: I'm -- I called it!

This is exactly why -- I called it!

This is why you're getting the couch, Ed.

I'll go to the master.

Stay out of Regina's cosmetics,

and for the last time,

cocoa butter is not a food.

Uh, Rome?

No, no, no, no.

Gary: Okay, okay. Relax.

This is just a box.

No! It doesn't mean that she's --

Don't even say the word.

Well, that's not how you get someone pregnant.

You should know that.

Guys, let's look at the stick. Where is the stick?

There it is. Eddie: Oof.

How are you so nonchalantly

touching the part of the stick Regina urinated on?

Come on.

Why would sh-- Why would she do that?

Well, don't smell it.

How does a man

who's had as much promiscuous sex as you

not know how a pregnancy test works?

Congratulations, Papa.

Dude. Dude.

q I just quit my job.

I -- Oh, man.

Gina and I said no kids.

I just quit my job.

I just quit it.

Listen to me.

My life sucks.

I'm gonna be sleeping on Gary's couch.

I don't even get the guest room.

What is this speech? Okay.

Even though everything is so bad for me right now,

I wouldn't change a thing

because if I did anything differently,

I wouldn't have Theo.

And he is the greatest thing I've done ever,

and this baby might be

the best thing you've ever done.

Come on, man.

The best thing I've ever done

is wash my hands.

♪ Why are there so many ♪

♪ Songs about rainbows? ♪

♪ And what's on the other side? ♪

♪ The other side? ♪

♪ Rainbows are visions ♪

♪ But only illusions ♪

♪ And rainbows have nothing to hide ♪

Sophie: ♪ So we've been told ♪

♪ And some choose to believe it ♪

♪ But I know they're wrong ♪

♪ Wait and see ♪

♪ Someday we'll find it ♪

♪ The rainbow connection ♪

♪ The lovers ♪ Hey, Theo.

♪ The dreamers and me ♪ Katherine: So, Mom and Dad

have something to talk to you about.

♪ Who said that every wish ♪

♪ Would be heard and answered ♪

♪ When wished on the morning star? ♪

♪ Somebody thought of that ♪

There you go.

♪ And someone believed it ♪ Can we FaceTime later, Dad?

♪ Look what it's done ♪ Of course we can, pal.

♪ So far ♪

♪ What's so amazing ♪

♪ That keeps us stargazing? ♪

♪ What, so we think we might see ♪

♪ Someday we'll find it ♪

♪ The rainbow connection ♪

♪ The lovers, the dreamers, and me ♪

♪ La, da-da, dee, da-da-dee ♪

I know we've had our history,

but when things get tough,

you're the friend that's always there.

Take care of him.

I will.

♪ Have you been fast asleep ♪

♪ And have you heard voices? ♪

♪ I've heard them calling my name ♪

♪ Is this the sweet sound ♪

♪ That calls the young sailors? ♪ We might be out of mint chip.

Mmm!

♪ The voice might be one and the same ♪

♪ I've heard it too many times ♪

♪ To ignore it ♪ I know that you're pregnant.

♪ It's something ♪

♪ That I'm supposed to be ♪ I saw the stick.

It wasn't mine.

Oh.

Oh!

Oh, okay.

Okay. Mm-hmm.

Whose was it, then?

It's Delilah's.

Sophie: ♪ Someday we'll find it ♪

♪ The rainbow connection ♪

♪ The lovers, the dreamers, and me ♪

Mm.