Original subtitles

Welcome

to my guide to kinky sex for couples.

So, tell me how you would define

it.

Kinky sex has become more popular than ever.

If you're ready to explore some of your fantasies in real life, you've come to the right place.

I would define kinky sex as whatever my partner is not normally used to doing.

Kinky is probably not what most people would imagine their parents doing.

I

want to start by defining some common terms.

I use the word kink to describe a range of desires and activities that also fall under the umbrella term BDSM.

BDSM is an acronym that encompasses several abbreviations.

B and D for bondage and discipline, D and S for dominance and submission, and SM for sadomasochism.

Bondage and discipline are just what they sound like.

Dominance and submission is a power exchange where one person takes the lead and the other follows.

Sadomasochism is the enjoyment of giving or receiving intense sensations, pain, or discomfort.

Sadists like to give it and masochists like to get it.

You may be thinking, who wants to experience pain?

Well, what is painful in another context can become pleasurable when you're turned on.

Plus the endorphins are flowing and it's a flood of intense physical sensation.

Remember that sadists and masochists experience these pleasures in the context of consensual BDSM.

Play is a common term used to describe the practice of BDSM, as in, I want to play with you.

A scene is where two or more people come together to do BDSM.

Beyond definitions, kink is an intimate experience, an exchange of power between people that can be physical, erotic, sexual, psychological, spiritual, or most often, some combination.

Kink is one area on the spectrum of sexual practices, so people do kink for as many reasons as people have sex.

To give, to take, to connect, to discover, to trust, to experiment, to imagine, to learn, and to grow.

People who practice kink explore the territory between pleasure and pain, eroticize the exchange of power, and experience intense physical sensations and psychological scenarios.

Kink can be a unique laboratory, a sacred space where we feel safe enough to try new things, test, and push our boundaries.

There is conversation beforehand.

What do you like?

What do you not like?

And it's not just like, what are your yeses and what are your nos?

That's so generic.

You know, it's like, well, don't elbow me in the face.

And it's like, that's not what I mean.

I want to know a little bit more about you.

A lot of people always talk about negatives.

You know, don't do this, don't do this, don't do this.

I want to know what are off limits or what are hard limits, things that you definitely will not do.

But I also want to know what you enjoy.

If the person, non-consensual is a big thing for me, if they're really not into it, I don't want to do anything to them.

Consent is a confident and secure, yes, I want to do this.

It's the bedrock of sex and relationships and one of the most important elements of kink.

It's what separates kink from abuse.

When you ask your partner for their consent, you clearly speak your part in the exchange.

I need to know you've agreed to this before we begin.

Giving your consent to a partner prior to a scene establishes that you're ready, willing, and able to proceed.

You've discussed what's likely to happen, shared any concerns, talked about your limits, and agreed to dive in.

Okay, you ready to go?

Yes.

Yes.

We initiate a safety word, which is called a safety word, which is a trigger which stops whatever's going on or slows it down or changes the direction of it.

A safe word is a word that you and your partner choose in advance.

Your safe word is your safety net.

If you don't like something that's happening and you want the scene to stop right away, simply say your safe word.

Words like stop or no or please don't, which we commonly use to communicate this sentiment in day-to-day life, aren't effective as safe words, because you may want to use them as part of role play if you want to resist or be forced to do something.

So if you're yelling stop, and that's because you want to play like you're being, you know, like the burglar is coming in and attacking you, you have to have something else that your partner actually know means stop, rather than just the word stop or something else that happens within the context of your play.

The most common safe word is red.

Sometimes people pick two different words, like red, which means stop right now, and yellow, which means please slow down.

If you can't speak, say you have a gag in your mouth or you're supposed to perform oral sex until you're told to stop, then agree on a safe signal where you hold something in your hand during a scene, and if you drop it, that means stop.

Like we have the three tap rule, so it's tap, tap, tap.

You're a tap out, right?

They're on camera, and I got your hand over your mouth, and you can't talk because you're kissing.

Something gets uncomfortable, the penis goes in the wrong way, so you get the three tap, tap, tap, tap.

And then you don't go so far or so deep.

A safe word that I always like to use is banana, because it doesn't sound like anything.

That's the one thing that you have to make sure your safe word doesn't...

What did you say?

Did you say harder?

No.

You know what I mean?

So you want to make sure that your safe word is something that it's like, okay, you said your safe word.

You were saying something about it being funny.

That is a good thing to have, because in case the moment got a little too much, you say the safe word, and it's like, okay, it makes you laugh, it makes you giggle.

But the importance of it is so that you don't go too far.

You don't make your partner feel uncomfortable, or if your partner is about to feel uncomfortable, they can say their safe word so that maybe you can stop, reassess the situation, maybe restraints are too tight, or maybe you're just hitting in that one spot and you maybe need to move over just a little bit,

you know, because that spot's just getting a little tender.

Whatever it may be, it's just your safe word.

You use it.

If you hear it, you stop.

You ask, is there something that I can do?

What is it that's bothering you?

And then you continue playing.

At the time that you need to use a safe word, you might not be completely capable of forming a sentence that makes a lot of sense.

So it's much easier for you to just blurt out one word rather than having to explain, I'm in pain, I don't feel good, my leg hurts, you're freaking me out, or just to not have to say you're freaking me out because some people who are submissive are incapable of saying you're freaking me out.

So they have a safe word so they can just use one word to stop the scenes the dominant knows to check in with them and, you know, move the control from play to checking in with them.

The first step in translating your fantasies into reality is to share them with your partner.

If you have a direct communication style, then get ready to put yourself out there.

Tell your partner about your fantasies or share a particular scenario you read or a scene you watched in a movie that really turned you on.

Watching an erotic movie will give you a visual encyclopedia of different activities, power dynamics, and scenarios.

Use that language to begin to talk about what you want to do.

What would you say to somebody who's having kinky fantasies and is nervous about telling their partner?

I don't know.

I think that probably something that I would try is finding a way to bring that scenario up or, you know, maybe if it's in a video or if it's in, you know, some type of situation and then use that as a talking point.

I think a really good way to break the ice about anything kinky or anything you secretly want to do is by renting a movie or getting a movie and putting it on and kind of feeling out how your partner reacts to it.

If they're like, ew, gross, maybe find someone else to do it with.

But if they're open to it, then, you know, you can start talking about it from there.

If you're not quite ready to talk face-to-face, you can write a note or an email or a text.

Chatting online with instant messages gives you the chance to have a real-time dialogue, but there's still a little distance, which may give you more confidence.

Give your partner the space to listen and tell him he does not have to respond right away if he doesn't want to.

If your partner has questions, be prepared with answers.

Emphasize that these fantasies excite and arouse you, and you want to share that excitement with your partner.

Come to the conversation with an open mind, patience, and compassion.

I think that my personal hesitation has been around, like, dirty talk in the past.

And I feel the most comfortable place to talk about things I might be interested in sexually is right after I've had great sex with my partner and we're laying in bed.

Because I feel like you're completely open and vulnerable, but you feel safe because everyone's got their endorphins rushing.

Yeah, you've already exchanged.

So it's like, it's not as scary.

Communication from the very beginning, like what, you know, what both people are comfortable with, what they're definitely not comfortable with.

One popular kinky activity is sensory deprivation.

When you take away someone's sense of sight or sound, their other senses become heightened.

For example, when you're blindfolded, noises sound louder, smells are more intense, and even the lightest touch can send chills down the spine.

When you can't hear anything or you can only hear one particular sound, you can focus on what you can feel, smell, possibly see if you can, or simply sense around you.

Sensory deprivation play focuses on depriving someone of sight or sound with blindfolds, hoods, earplugs, headphones, or some combination of these.

This deprivation can help to put someone in a particular frame of mind.

People wearing these devices often feel curious and excited as they anticipate what might come next in a scene.

Sensory deprivation toys can also help someone focus on what's happening to their body, making every sensation stronger.

Deprivation is awesome because it opens up so many more senses than just sight.

It heightens smell and feeling.

So when you don't have your sight, you have to rely on your other senses as well as you knowing your partner.

And the feelings that you guys share with comfort, your comfort level is also heightened as well because you're feeling their energy and that's really all that you're feeling.

You know what I mean?

It's not, you're not physically seeing them coming towards you.

You just feel their energy getting stronger as it gets towards you or as they come closer to you.

Blindfolds come in various fabrics and styles.

Some sleep masks, those that really block out light, work very well as blindfolds.

Some blindfolds have an elastic strap.

Others fasten with Velcro or a buckle.

An adjustable elastic strap is preferable to one that isn't adjustable.

Although, if there is enough give, a non-adjustable blindfold should be fine.

Just make sure the blindfold fits snugly but isn't too tight.

If you're going to be lying on your back for most of the time, then you may not want a blindfold with a buckle since it can become uncomfortable against the back of your head pretty quickly.

If you want to obscure someone's vision but not take away their sight entirely, try a sheer scarf that's folded several times.

Putting a blindfold on someone is a great way to neutralize the environment.

If they can't see, suddenly they have to rely on you to tell them what's going on or not.

This is a great opportunity to shift their sense of reality, spin a fantasy, or control what they know or think they know.

For some people, a blindfold immediately makes them feel submissive.

For others, it puts them off balance enough that they can slip more easily into a fantasy.

Blindfolds can also give the non-blindfolded partner a boost of confidence.

It's easier to project a sense of confidence, discipline, and precision if your partner can't see you fumble with something.

A blindfold takes away your sense of sight, but another way to engage the senses is to stimulate them, especially our sense of touch.

Sensation play is all about creating unique sensations on the skin.

Approach the flesh of the body like a sculptor begins with a fresh lump of clay.

It's a blank canvas to manipulate and stimulate with different textures, temperatures, and maybe even a little torture.

There's a reason that in the popular French maid fantasy, the maid is usually carrying a feather duster, and it doesn't have anything to do with cleaning the house.

Feathers are sensual, luxurious.

They feel great against the skin and stimulate our touch receptors.

They can stroke, flutter, tickle, and tease the flesh.

They're a fun way to get someone in the mood without intimidating them, so they're a good bet for beginners and lovers who aren't ready just yet to bring out the whip.

Combining a feather with a blindfold or bondage can make your partner feel like they're at your mercy.

You can buy a large single feather or a tickler made of many feathers attached to a handle.

Run a feather tickler down the entire length of your partner's body.

Brush the feathers lightly against the skin, then follow each swipe with a kiss.

If you're feeling playful, you can use your feather to torture her as you target her ticklish spots.

If tickling turns both of you on, then go for it.

If you love the idea of licking chocolate sauce, whipped cream, or honey off your partner's body, then you'll love edible body paint and dust.

Imagine soft baby powder sprinkled on your skin, then nibbled off by someone you love.

Some dusts come with a feather, so you can combine the sensuality of feathers against the skin with a delicious powder.

Edible body paints are just as tasty as sundae toppings, but these paints are safe for the body, moisturizing to the skin, and much easier to clean up.

Edible body paints come in different colors and flavors and offer all sorts of fun opportunities.

Create a colorful masterpiece on your naked body.

Draw a bikini on and have him take it off.

Write naughty words on your body and ask your partner to lick them off.

Paint your partner's sensitive spots, then erase them with your mouth.

Candles are a wonderful way to set a romantic mood in the bedroom.

Some folks fantasize about another use for those candles.

They want to seductively drip hot wax all over their partner's body or have it drizzled on themselves.

It looks great in the movies, but the reality doesn't always live up to the hype.

If you use the wrong kind of candle, the wax can actually burn someone's skin.

If you get a candle with a low burn temperature, you're still left with a lot of cooled wax to clean up.

Massage oil candles are a great solution.

They burn at a very low temperature, making it gentle and safe to use without fear of burning your partner's skin.

Light the candle and let the wax begin to melt.

Lift your hand up and away from your partner's body.

The farther away the candle, the cooler the wax will be when it hits the skin.

You can drip hot wax almost anywhere on the body except the face and genitals.

Once you've drizzled your partner's body with warm wax, start rubbing your fingers into it, and it will transform into silky smooth massage oil.

Now you're ready to give an erotic massage, which is a great way to start an evening of sexy fun.

You don't need to be a licensed masseuse to give a good massage.

You just need to be generous, listen to your partner, and use the healing power of touch.

The most important thing to keep in mind with massage oil is that if it does in fact contain oil, it can stain sheets, fabrics, and clothes.

And it may be hard to clean up, so make sure you put a towel down first.

Oil-based products should not get near your genitals if you're planning to have sex.

They're generally bad for vaginas and can cause vaginal infections.

You can follow up these warm sensations with an ice cube to surprise your partner, shift the temperature of the skin, or cool things down.

Do you like being told what to do?

No, I don't.

Do I like to tell people what to do?

Only when my penis is erect.

So I have something for you.

If I give this to you, it means you have to do something for me.

Okay, what do I have to do for you?

You have to be something for me.

You know what this is?

We just talked about it, right?

Yeah, it's a collar.

I know you just told me you have problems with authority and don't like to be told what to do.

I do.

But if I put this on you, you become my pet, right?

This is true.

I'm not mean to my pets.

If you have a pet, right, you take care of it and you're very sweet to it.

Yes.

But it also obeys you.

This is true.

So I have to obey you.

Because it knows you have its best interest in mind.

Okay, it sounds like I can deal with this.

Take this off.

Put your head up for me.

I'll hold it for you.

How does that feel?

It feels good.

Is that a good level of tightness or do you want it one more?

No, that's good tightness.

I like that.

Nice and snug.

Pink looks good on you.

Thank you.

And it pops.

What I want

is for you to take care of yourself.

What do we have under here?

Underwear.

You can do it harder.

Harder than that?

A little bit harder.

I gotta make sure you don't run away then.

A

little bit.

I do.

You

have to forgive me.

Buttons aren't my strong suit.

It's okay.

I'm making a hard focus.

That

way it doesn't get all wrinkled.

Can you see anything?

I cannot.

That's kind of the point.

See anything.

But I can feel you.

Are you ticklish?

I am a little ticklish.

I

feel good though.

Ticklish in a good way.

It tickles more.

My

pussy tickles the most.

Are you asking me to tickle your pussy some more?

I'm just letting you know.

Just in case you wanted to tickle me.

A lot.

And make me squirm.

I

love watching you squirm around like that.

I figured.

Keep your hands up there.

Okay.

I'm getting tired.

Does my

pussy taste good?

What's on your face?

What's on your face?

Why do you

keep pussying all over your face?

Oh my gosh.

You have a tick there.

You have a tick there too.

Oh my gosh.

It is getting really squishy.

Oh my goodness.

I love you.

That's the best way to taste.

Look at

it.

I hear a thing.

It tastes

good.

What does it taste like?

I'm only getting like...

a back splash.

How does it taste?

I'm going to

take this off, okay?

But you have to promise not to open your eyes.

Okay.

Onto your stomach.

No peeking.

That was fire.

Is that what you think that is?

Yeah.

What if I'm just playing around with magic?

Do you feel that it's hot?

Magic smells like fire.

You better not move, right?

That's right.

If you flinch, you're going to burn yourself.

Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh.

Hey.

Oh my goodness.

That's not what I was expecting.

I'm just going to play around with you.

I'm not going to hurt you.

But you still can't move too much.

Because you have fire on your back.

I know.

Maintain proper posture.

That

feels so good.

You're

a naughty teaser.

That was so close.

I'm watching it.

I'm not going to let you burn.

I'm trying to stay perfectly still.

Oh my gosh.

It's so deep in there.

It feels so good.

Oh my gosh.

It's just holding that cup in there.

I can feel that spot.

It's so swollen.

Look at you.

I'm tightening it up even more.

Oh my gosh.

You are my boy.

I like it.

I like this.

Yes.

I don't have to stay still anymore.

Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh.

It rubs in.

Massage.

Oh my gosh.

I've been so good.

I know you have.

I think you can open your eyes if you want.

Thank you.

I almost disobeyed you once.

And opened them.

But I remember you.

I'm not going to tell you.

You're a little baby from now on.

I can see.

So thank you very much for telling me.

Look at this.

Yes.

Oh my gosh.

Thank you.

Oh my gosh.

I think

this makes it easier to obey you.

I surrender.

Have at me as you will.

That's what I like to hear.

Thank you.

I wish I still had that fire.

You know why?

I want you to stay still for me all the time.

Okay.

I think I can handle this.

I'll close your eyes.

It's a lot of the same shit.

I'm already there.

We're in the training process.

Okay.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

No!

It's

okay, it's okay, it's okay.

Fuck!

Oh, fuck!

Oh, I've been your good little pet, have I?

Have I?

I'm so glad I saved it for you.

Remember this?

You know how to use this.

I do.

Thank you.

Show me how it's done.

Oh, my goodness.

Okay.

It tickles so good.

Oh, yes.

Oh, I'm

getting so tight.

That

feels so good.

You fucking, that look.

Oh, you can change that if you can give it to me fast.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my

gosh.

I'm gonna be slow.

I'm the one in control here, so I kind of like...

You asked.

I did ask.

Oh, my gosh, it's like pushing my spot down.

You're a dick.

I got it on my spot and now it's swollen.

And it's squeezing.

Oh, I feel like I'm being spoiled here.

It's like, oh, my, it really looks good.

She just slips apart and finding her way in that hole.

Oh, please.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

I can feel it, dickhead.

Oh, it's getting so fucking hard.

Yes, you are.

Oh, yes, yes.

Oh, I'm coming.

I'm still coming.

Oh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, yes.

You're making like a squishy mess out of my pussy.

I like it so much.

It's so good.

It's good to bounce on your dick.

That's my pussy talking to you.

It's telling you how much it likes you.

Can you hear it?

Oh, my goodness.

Oh,

my gosh.

I like how you're like holding my other leg down.

I'm so fucking hot.

Little

pussy, get away until it comes all over you.

Lay down.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's so

good.

It tastes good, too.

Yeah.

A butt hole in the air.

Huh?

On your fucking back.

Oh, my goodness.

Yeah.

You're going to pin me down?

You're going to fucking pin me down and take it?

Is that what you're going to do?

Huh?

You're

mine for as long as I fucking have my dick inside you.

You're my hand inside you.

I'll put anything inside you, alright?

Yes.

Say it.

I am...

yours...

as long as you have your hands or cock inside me.

That's why I have my hands or cock inside you.

So you're going to try to escape me?

No.

No, because I want your cock or hands inside me.

Please?

What do you want?

I think we have a tedious balance.

That's life.

Oh, my goodness.

Are

there some more?

Some more.

Are there something for me?

You should.

Thank you, baby, for me.

Now it's your turn.

You're going to reward your pet.

I've been such a good girl.

I think so.

Oh, my

gosh.

Look at all that.

It's so fucking hot.

You're a healthy boy, aren't you?

Yummy.

See, I take good care of my pets.

Yes, you do.

You're a fucking fantastic pet.

Thank you.

One of the first things to consider as you talk about what kinds of kinky activities you might like to try is what role you'll take in a scene.

Do you want to be in charge, or do you want your partner to be in charge, or both?

A top is the doer who initiates activities and actions and does things to the bottom.

Do you love the idea of blindfolding your partner, tying him up, or spanking him?

If you like doing things to your partner and want your partner to receive, you'll probably enjoy taking on the top role.

A bottom follows the top's lead, receives stimulation from the top, and has things done to him or her.

If you fantasize about giving control to your partner, being put in bondage, or being spanked, then you should explore the bottom role.

Top and bottom can also be used as verbs, as in, I topped my girlfriend last night.

A switch is someone who enjoys playing both roles.

Whether a switch becomes a top or a bottom can change from one scene to the next.

Switches may take on a particular role based on the partner they play with or the activity.

They can also switch between both roles within one scene.

Erotic or fantasy roleplay gives folks a chance to be someone else, even if it's only for an hour or two.

Lots of popular erotic roleplay has a power dynamic already built right into it.

Think about some of the most common scenarios.

Doctor-patient, teacher-student, cop-robber.

Often these scenes revolve around one person submitting to another, being forced to do something, or feeling vulnerable.

A dominant person in a scene, their job, I feel, is to carry the scene.

To basically, okay, here's the rules, and here's how I want you to follow the rules.

And if you don't follow the rules, then this is what's going to happen.

A dominant is someone, it's the person in control.

To me, a dominant's role in a scene is the person who is the sexual aggressor.

In dominant-submissive roleplay, the dominant runs the show, exerts control over the submissive, and may direct her to complete tasks, or behave in a certain way, follow rules, or submit to various kinds of BDSM.

We're responsible for the submissive's safety, checking in with them, even when they may or may not be asking for it, just to kind of keep an eye on them, and really to make sure that things are going smoothly for them.

A submissive gives up control and surrenders to the dominant, gets turned on by being told what to do, and has an investment in pleasing her dominant.

Being submissive is great because I think it's a way to really let go.

And once you do learn to let go, it's just amazing.

Tell her that submissive means to you that you do everything that I tell you to do.

Tell her.

Submissive means to me that I do everything that Evan tells me to do.

Submissive's main job is to enjoy.

I think so, too.

Ultimately, that's why you're trusting your dom, is so you don't have to think about those things.

All you have to do is react.

It's not your responsibility to come or to not come.

You know what I mean?

You do whatever is set out for you.

If you're a man interested in exploring domination, remember, this isn't about hurting your partner or being mean.

It's play acting, and it's about giving her exactly what she wants.

If you're a woman who wants to tap into her submissive side, remember that submission can give you the freedom to tell your partner what you want and to surrender to the experience.

The roles of dominance and submission, it's kind of like cowboys and Indians for adults.

This is a game, and in this context, the dominant person is in control for the extent of this game, and the submissive person is going to be not in control for the extent of the game.

But any one of them can stop the game at any time, so that's important.

One way to explore dominance and submission is through sexual power games, which are role-playing scenarios that use sex as the central tool for control.

They often revolve around giving or withholding certain types of stimulation and pleasure, ordering the submissive to perform sex on herself or on you, and controlling her orgasms.

Remember, just like with other kinky activities, consent is key.

So when I use the terms control, order, force, or torture, I use them in the context of a scene where people have agreed to consensual dominance and submission.

Tease and Torment is a fun game where the dominant is not only clearly in charge, but uses that power to torment the submissive.

The idea here is to get your submissive nice and turned on, squirming in pleasure, and then stop what you're doing.

Watch her squirm even more.

Put your mouth just an inch away from her body and stay there.

Turn the vibrator down or off suddenly and don't let her have the controls.

Hover over her lips, just barely touching them.

Then tease.

Don't let her get close enough to your hand, your mouth, your body, to whatever she craves.

You can combine this game with bondage to make it even more difficult for her to get what she wants.

Teasing builds tension, anticipation, and arousal.

It puts what your partner desires just out of reach.

This can lead to someone asking, begging, pleading, or even bargaining.

Eventually,

you will give in and let her have what she wants, and by then, she'll be so beside herself, the payoff for both of you will be even bigger.

Imagine if your ability to orgasm was decided by someone else.

If you like the idea of handing over control of your pleasure, then this kind of surrender may really appeal to you as a submissive.

For dominance, do you like to take charge of your partner's body and use sex as a way to control her?

Orgasm control can take several different forms, each of them a different kind of sexual power play.

One popular practice is when the dominant requires the submissive to first ask permission in order to have an orgasm.

It's a simple yet symbolic act that says, I control you.

Your orgasms belong to me.

Usually this means that the submissive is right on the edge of coming, but she has to pause and ask or beg, and the dominant can decide to extend or deny permission to orgasm.

Creative dominance can require a task first, like lick my boots or administer 10 strokes of the paddle before permission is given.

And speaking of permission, orgasm denial is another form of control, one that's a bit more devious.

When the submissive asks for permission, your answer is a confident and resounding no.

You can do it as a correction, a punishment, or just to see the look on her face.

You're not going to come.

You're going to hold it.

You're not going to come because I want to come.

You're going to fucking hold it.

Hold it.

Don't you fucking do it.

Don't you fucking do it.

It feels really good.

I bet it does.

Don't you fucking do it.

Denying orgasm makes a submissive squirm, squeal, beg, plead, all the while getting more turned on in the process.

It's a great way to take someone to the edge of climax, then flip the switch.

It's another kind of tease and torment sure to drive her crazy, where the reward, a much-anticipated orgasm when you say so, is even sweeter.

Yes, don't you fucking come.

Don't even fucking think about it.

On the other end of the spectrum is the forced orgasm.

Let me start with a disclaimer.

If your partner has trouble achieving orgasm, this is not the game to play.

It could create anxiety, shame, and fear, and that's not what we're after.

But if your partner is reliably orgasmic, then this is another fun way to control her.

Think of it as making your partner have an orgasm on demand.

When you feel like she's getting close, or she's told you she's getting close as instructed, you can demand that she has an orgasm.

Or you can put her in some nice bondage, then strap a vibrator to her clitoris so she has no choice but to come.

The dominant gets to call the shots.

The submissive gets to follow the command and have an orgasm.

It's win-win.

You're going to come on the count of ten, you understand me?

And if you don't come on ten, you don't get to.

One...

Two...

Three...

Four...

Six...

Seven...

Eight...

Nine...

Ten!

You get bonus points for incorporating sex toys into this game, which can make it even more difficult for her to not come, or easier to come on command.

Let's say your partner loves to have her nipples played with.

You can try nipple clamps.

Chests, breasts, and nipples are all wonderful erogenous zones on our bodies.

Both men's and women's nipples can be very sensitive, though the level of sensitivity varies from person to person.

Lots of folks like their nipples licked, sucked, rolled between fingers, and tugged gently.

If you like your nipples twisted, tweaked, and especially pinched during sex, then you may like nipple clamps.

Nipple clamps are small clips attached to a chain, and they come in a wide variety of styles.

The best starter set for beginners are tweezer style or adjustable nipple clamps.

Other nipple clamps, as well as other similar pinching implements like clothespins, paper clips, or hair clips, are not adjustable at all.

Their clamping strength might be too intense to start out with for a lot of people.

With adjustable clamps, you can start out with the loosest clamping and work your way up to a tighter and more severe pinch.

Take your partner's nipple and rub it until it's hard.

Place each side of the clamp on the nipple, then slowly begin to slide the ring on a tweezer clamp or turn the screw on an adjustable clamp toward the nipple to tighten it.

Check in with your partner to see what feels good.

When you put a clamp on a part of the body, you cut off the circulation.

The nipples can get very sensitive, so tugging on the chain in between the clamps sends a zing throughout the body.

While it hurts to varying degrees when you put the clamps on and tug at them, it feels a heck of a lot worse when the clamps come off.

The blood quickly rushes back to the area in a big burst and bang, your brain registers pain.

So, if your partner is a beginner, leave nipple clamps on for less than a minute before you take them off.

You can gradually work your way up to longer amounts of time, but you shouldn't leave clamps on for more than 15 minutes.

Tell me about how you like your nipples played with and why you like nipple clamps.

Well, oh.

Which one?

This one's for you.

Me?

Evan.

Say, why do you like... the reason I like my nipple clamps on...

You can totally put those nipple clamps on, Evan.

I would love that.

You can pretend you don't like it.

Probably we can.

Oh, stop it!

No, no, tighter.

Yes, tight, definitely.

More... yeah.

Really?

Tighter.

Tight nipple clamps.

You like nipple clamps that are tight?

With your fingers or... yeah.

Just like a squeeze or a squeeze and a twist?

No, just a squeeze.

Just a squeeze, because a squeeze and a twist is different.

No, that's different, yeah.

You like that?

Well, no, I just like... I have very sensitive nipples.

I can play with them, yeah.

Mine are, you know...

Yeah.

Do more.

We'll get that one to swing off.

Alright.

Did you hear action?

I didn't hear action.

Action.

Don't touch me.

Don't touch me.

I didn't hear action.

It's not a dating service.

Action.

Was it... was that action?

Action.

Action.

Stop it.

It's not funny.

It's a serious act.

Serious business.

Take my strong hands on your little flick of hair.

I'm going to give that pussy to you.

I'm just going to take it from you.

I'm going to teach you.

Take it from me.

Feel that?

Feel how wet your foot's getting.

Now, baby, I'm going to have you suck my cock.

I'm going to put it in your mouth.

Is your little pussy getting wet?

Is your pussy getting wet?

Can I see your pussy getting wet, yeah?

It's getting off the fucking

pussy in your hand now.

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

At the end of this bath, I want you to take your dress off nice and slow.

I want you to stand there in your underwear in front of me, okay?

End of the bath.

Look at me.

Look out there.

Slowly.

Look out that way.

Spread your legs.

Now reach down there on the outside of your panties.

I want you to play with your pussy, baby.

I want you to rub it.

Crack

your little fucking pussy.

Yeah.

Put your hands on my knees.

Feel that fucking flesh in my hand.

Squeeze them.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, there they are.

These are all mine.

Every bit of your hot little fucking body belongs to me.

You okay?

It's okay.

I'm going to

tell you about teasing me all day.

I'm going to put your pussy all wet.

Yeah, take it.

Take it.

Take it.

Oh, yeah, fucking, that's intense.

You're so, so quick.

Fuck you.

Yeah.

Don't put it in your mouth, just lick it.

Yeah, you can touch this bone.

Right there, right there.

Fuck you.

See the teeth marks on my fucking cock?

Yeah, right there, fucking.

There it is, right there.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, fuck you.

That's new.

Oh, yeah.

Come over here and lick my fucking balls, baby.

I'm going to

get you dirty, baby.

That's it.

That's your fucking head.

That's your fucking head.

That's it.

Come on.

That's it.

Get your fucking girl.

Get my fucking ass, you little fucking son of a bitch.

Come on.

Get your fucking balls.

Swallow.

Try to swallow my fucking balls.

Oh, fuck you.

Swallow my fucking balls.

Swallow.

Don't lick my ass.

Get

your dirty fucking mouth up here.

Get your fucking cock inside here.

Get my fucking cock.

Just lay right there.

Come on.

Yeah.

Come on, I told you.

Come on.

Oh, yeah, I like that.

Oh, yeah.

Get your fucking cock.

Move out of your fucking dump.

Come on.

No.

Get that fucking leg.

Get that pussy.

Get that fucking leg.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah.

You want it?

You want me?

You know what you want me to do?

You want me to put that hard cock in your little fucking pussy?

Spread it over.

Just rub it up and down the crack of your ass.

Come

on.

Stick it out there.

Stick it out there so I'll fuck it.

Stick it out there.

Stick it out there.

Yeah, you want it, don't you?

Tell me what?

Fuck you like that?

Fucking pussy, please.

No.

Just curse the nipple, Chris.

Fucking cocksucker.

Fuck you.

Tell me you fucking want it, you little fucking son of a bitch.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Come on, that's all you get.

Just the fucking head.

That's all you get.

Yeah.

No.

Just get the fucking head.

You know?

I can make that happen.

You know?

Yeah, I can.

Fuck you.

I don't want my fucking job.

You're worth it.

Just get the fucking head.

Just get it back to me, please.

No.

Yeah, right there.

Fuck you.

Come on.

Come on, you big fucking cocky pussy.

No, give it back to me, please, please, please.

What do you want?

Tell me what you want.

Yeah, you fucking want to cum, don't you?

Yeah, you want to fucking cum, don't you?

I don't want to fucking cum.

I don't want to fucking cum.

No.

No.

I'm just gonna tease you.

I'm gonna fuck you.

Just a second.

Come here.

Just a second.

Just a second.

Come on.

You gotta get me all the way inside your fucking throat, baby.

Come on, come on.

Oh, yeah.

Fuck, it's still fucking coming.

Yeah, yeah, now you gotta clean it all up, baby.

You missed a spot.

Can I use that dog shit again?

Yes, you may.

Okay.

Yeah.

Oh, my fucking God.

Oh, yeah.

There it is.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, uh-huh.

As

a woman, if you're interested in exploring your dominant side and your partner wants to take on the role of submissive, know that you're not alone.

This is a very popular fantasy for a lot of couples.

Begin by choosing some strong women who you identify with, people you know, public or historic figures, or fictional characters.

Think about what makes them powerful, and that will help you tap into your own power.

Remember, you're the boss, you make the rules, so own it.

As a woman over the years, I've learned to embrace my dominance because I was surrounded at a young age and I continue to surround myself with very sex-positive people that I can communicate with on a personal level about my sexual preferences.

It really helps, I feel like, as a woman to have a core group of female friends that you can talk to about these things.

So if a woman is thinking about being a dominant or thinking about dominance in general or alternative lifestyle, I would encourage her to find a group, let's say, on the Internet where even if she doesn't meet people, she can chat with back and forth and share her ideas and talk to women who are more experienced on a one-to-one level.

Guys, don't be afraid to explore your inner submissive.

It's fun to hand the reins over to someone else, follow directions, and put her wishes above yours.

During a scene, a submissive basically just follows orders.

Whatever they are.

Communication during sex is obviously really important.

Saying things like, can you slow down a little?

Can I adjust these nipple clamps?

Can you take more spanking?

All make sense.

But if you're striving to maintain the dominant-submissive role play, then what you say needs to be more cleverly solicited and spoken.

In fact, you can reinforce the power dynamic while communicating.

Have the submissive ask for each slap of your hand.

Count each stroke of the paddle.

Or even beg for the next drop of hot wax.

Instruct your submissive to add some pleases and thank yous after each thing you do.

Not only does this move the scene along nicely, it gives the submissive the opportunity to communicate his state of mind.

If he begins to wince or hesitate as he speaks, he may be nearing his limit.

Would you like me to fuck you with my pussy?

Oh, yes.

Tell me.

Yes, please.

Beg for it.

Please.

Please what?

Please can I have your vagina?

What do you say?

Oh, thank you.

I'm going to fuck you nice and slowly and I want to hear you say thank you every time I pull it out.

Oh, thank you.

Remember, communication can also be non-verbal.

As a top, your ability to read your bottom's body language is essential.

Make eye contact.

Pay attention to his breathing rate, facial expressions, how his body reacts to sensation, and whether the reaction changes.

Use your judgment about whether something should continue, ratchet up, or wind down.

What's the thing you want most in the whole world?

To give you pleasure.

My pussy.

During role play, dominance can require all kinds of service from submissives, but sexual service is one of the most popular fantasies.

Demanding sexual service and making your pleasure his only priority is a clear way to exert power.

Do you want it?

Yes.

Not only can you make a specific demand, but you can enhance the experience in different ways.

For example, require he be sexually available to you whenever you want.

Provide specific directions about how you want something done to you.

Make the task more difficult by binding his hands so he can only use his mouth.

Put a hood on him and tell him you're going to use his body for your pleasure.

Or combine a service that turns him on, like cunnilingus, with orgasm denial for him.

Providing sexual service is a big turn-on for many submissives who enjoy being focused on the dominant's pleasure or being sexually used.

Some really enjoy the role of the sexually available, willing and able sex slave who could be called on at a moment's notice.

Provided it works with everyone's hectic schedule, of course.

They enjoy creating a scenario where they're forced to do things.

Things they've actually agreed to beforehand.

In these scenes, there's no question about who initiates, who does what or what's expected.

They don't have to overthink anything.

They just have to do what they're told.

For some, this allows them the freedom and permission to be constantly horny and ready to go since that's part of being a great sex slave.

Forced masturbation is a good game to play whether you're in the same room, in separate places or connecting long distance.

It's a great way to exercise control over your partner's pleasure.

He gets to have it, but only when you say so.

In fact, maybe he can only touch himself with your permission.

Perhaps you give him instructions about exactly how he should do it and he has to follow your directions to the letter or risk punishment.

You don't get to come yet.

Maybe he needs to describe to you in detail what he's doing, what he's fantasizing about or what he wants you to do to him.

Maybe he needs to get over his shyness and perform for you.

Maybe he must dedicate his orgasm to you or say your name when he comes or ask your permission before he has an orgasm.

Whatever way you design it, this once solitary activity, which was his domain, now belongs to you.

In addition to sexual games, bondage is an ideal vehicle to explore power dynamics.

A collar is both a form of bondage and a symbol.

It may signify submission, subservience or surrender.

For many, when a lover puts a collar around their neck, it helps them to give up control and become more submissive.

Putting a collar on someone is also a great way to begin a role-playing scene, to transition from your real-life personalities into dominant and submissive, master-slave or whatever roles you've chosen for the scene.

Like other bondage toys, collars can be made of leather, rubber, nylon and other materials.

Some collars have velcro or buckles, and others have a ring where you can insert a lock.

A collar should be snug around the neck, but never tight, choking or cutting off circulation.

Make sure you can fit two fingers between the collar and the person's neck.

You can grab the front ring of a collar to pull someone towards you, but never yank someone's collar or drag them by the neck.

You can lead someone around the room on a collar and leash to demonstrate their submission to you.

This is something you don't do ordinarily, so it's one way to begin a scene that can get both partners in the right frame of mind.

Using a leash is meant to be playful.

You can give a gentle tug to remind her who's boss or lead her to where you want to have sex.

While it

may be tempting, you never want to pull someone by the leash or jerk the leash suddenly with any force.

I want her to tell me what to do, what to say.

And do you like to talk?

I do.

Why?

Um, I'm loquacious.

I just like to talk in general.

I like to talk all the time.

Take your clothes off.

Are you ready to do whatever I say?

Yeah, of course.

What a sexy fucking beast you are.

Put your wrists out.

Can you see?

No.

No?

Stroke that cock for me.

Whose cock is that today?

Yours.

My God.

What's the thing you want most in the whole world right now?

To make you happy.

That's so sweet.

You'll say anything to get what you want, won't you?

What's the thing you want most in the whole world?

Tell the truth.

To make you happy.

To give you pleasure.

My pussy.

You want my pussy most.

Yes, ma'am.

In the whole world right now, don't you?

What do you say?

Yes, ma'am.

Say thank you.

How fucking hard that cock is for my pussy.

Keep stroking it.

Slowly.

Don't get yourself too excited.

You're not allowed to cum.

Not until I cum.

Maybe not at all.

Keep stroking it.

Stick your tongue out.

Wait for it.

Stick your tongue out.

Do you want it?

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Lick my pussy.

I'm going to smother you with my ass while you lick my pussy.

You don't really need to breathe.

Just have my ass cheeks over your nose.

And let your tongue sit in my wet little cock.

You like that so much.

I want it.

How hard your fucking cock is.

What do you say?

I like it.

I'm trying to put it down there.

Keep stroking yourself.

Don't get too excited.

You wouldn't cum without permission now, would you?

No.

Kiss my ass.

Have

you been thinking about the inside of my pussy?

Yes.

Definitely.

How warm and wet and tight it is.

I love it.

Mm-hmm.

Would you like me to fuck you with my pussy?

Oh, yes.

Tell me.

Yes, please.

Beg for it.

Oh, please.

Please what?

Please can I have your vagina?

Mm-hmm.

I'm going to tease you first.

That cock's so fucking hard.

Oh, my God.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah.

Nice and slow.

I'm going to tease your cock with my little pussy.

Oh, yes.

What do you say?

Thank you.

I'm going to fuck you nice and slowly, and I want to hear you say thank you every time I pull it out.

Oh,

thank you.

Oh, thank

you.

Oh, yeah.

Play with my nipples.

Oh, yeah.

My good little slave.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah?

You always have a hard cock for me to fuck it whenever I want to.

Yes, ma'am.

Mm-hmm.

Tell me how much you love it.

I love it.

You love it?

You love it.

I'm going to tell you to strip and push you on your back and make you masturbate for me.

Get your big fucking cock hard and use you like a tight little wet pink pussy.

Because that's what you're here for.

You're here for me to use to get myself off.

You feel how tight my pussy is?

Oh, it's so tight.

And my ass bouncing up and down on you?

It feels so good.

What do you say, then, if I feel so good?

Thank you.

Thank me...

Thank you.

...for fucking you and using your cock with my wet little pussy.

Yes.

You can't even talk, can you?

You're so fucking excited.

You're so fucking excited.

Mmm...

We're going to play the thank you game again.

You're going to thank me when I pull it out.

What do you say?

Thank you.

What do you say?

Thank you.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah.

Ugh.

I need to play with another toy with you.

Ready for some more toys?

Yes.

Mmm?

Let's have a little...

I think you need this necklace.

It's in my way.

Stick your tongue out.

Lick.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Keep touching yourself for me.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Yeah.

Keep fucking licking.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Yeah.

Mmm.

I'm going to fuck you like this until I'm done counting on you like this.

And then I'm going to fuck you a different way.

I'm going to come like that.

Ugh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mmm.

Yeah.

Yes, yes, yes.

I'm going to fucking come at you.

I'm going to fucking come at you like that.

Ugh.

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to fucking do it.

Don't you fucking do it.

I felt that.

Don't you dare.

Ugh.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Ugh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, fuck.

This is so fucking good, I think.

You fucking big cock.

I mean, that's my fucking cute spot right there.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Get up on the couch.

I'll put you back over here.

Ugh.

Put your back over here.

Come here.

Take my shoes off.

Slowly and gently.

It's a good thing you have a nice cock.

You're not very good at removing shoes, are you?

Sorry.

Fuck my pussy nice and slowly.

Mmm.

Fuck.

Oh, my fucking God.

That feels so good.

Yes.

Oh, my fucking God.

Mmm.

Do you love that pussy?

Yeah.

Can you say...

Yes.

Say thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Mmm.

Oh, keep

fucking...

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Faster.

Do it faster.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Oh, yes.

Mmm.

Oh, my fucking God, yes.

Mmm.

You love that wet pussy?

Hmm?

Do you love it?

Tell me.

Tell me how you love my fucking pussy.

I love it so much.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Oh, fuck.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Don't stop.

Don't fucking stop.

Oh, my God.

I'm gonna come on you.

Oh, my God.

I'm gonna come on your giant motherfucking cock.

I'm gonna come on your giant fucking cock.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes, you feel it?

You feel it fucking tighten you, motherfucker?

Yes, motherfucker.

Yes, motherfucker.

I'm gonna fuck, fuck, fuck that fucking pussy.

Oh yes, I want that pussy.

Ahhh.

Keep fucking me, don't you fucking stop.

Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, oh yes.

Mm, you're such a good boy.

You do such a good job fucking my pussy, just like I tell you to.

Oh, right there.

Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes.

Um...

Right there.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Right there.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Yeah.

Yes.

There.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Like that.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Like that.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Don't stop.

Don't stop.

Don't stop.

Don't you fucking come yet.

Don't you dare.

Not yet.

Not until I fucking come first.

Oh.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Ah.

I love to cum on your fucking cock so much.

Ah.

Sit up.

Jerk off.

Sit up over there.

I want to watch you fucking jerk off.

Mm.

Mm.

Give me a little show.

A little dirty show.

Dirty pussy.

Mm.

Mm.

I'm watching you fucking jerk off.

You can masturbate for me.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Yeah.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Don't you fucking come.

Don't even fucking think about it.

Mm.

Keep jerking off.

I'm not done yet.

Show off how you stroke your big fucking cock.

I'm watching you get wet.

I'm watching you get excited.

You can see how fucking wet your cock is getting.

Are you excited, slave?

Yes.

Mm.

You want to cum, but you're not going to because you're not allowed.

Yes.

Mm.

This isn't about you.

Put your hands behind your back.

Such a good sex slave.

Good.

You made your mistress so happy.

Mm.

Negotiation creates a space for everybody to talk about their needs, wants, limits, fantasies, and fears before they play.

Kink encompasses so many different activities, turn-ons, fetishes, and scenarios.

Make a list of all the ones that come to mind.

Do an internet search to supplement your list.

People sometimes make a yes, no, maybe checklist, marking yes for the things they'd like to do, no for the things they definitely don't want to do, and maybe for the activities that fall in between.

Activities that you're curious about, but need more information, or aren't opposed to, but aren't enthusiastic about yet, or represent something you or your partner don't have the skills for, can go on your maybe list.

These lists help you think about what you want to try, as well as assist you in communicating that information to your partner, and vice versa.

I think some toys I really enjoy to incorporate into kinky sex are definitely a vibrator, like a really strong one like the magic wand.

I think that's that's kind of one that's pretty versatile.

As far as kinky sex goes, there's a lot of different ways you can use it.

It helps with anal for me.

It almost like distracts me from tensing up.

You like a harness in your mouth?

Like a horse harness type thing?

I like other things in my mouth.

Like ball gag?

Big mouth.

Balls?

I love dirty talk.

Right?

Latex?

Really?

I like the smell of latex.

I like the smell of latex.

Like when they finally peel it off you.

I just like smelling things.

Really?

Yeah.

You like to smell things.

Butt plugs are cool.

Um...

Let's say you have like a feeling or something where like maybe I am touching a wall or something or I'm pressed up against the wall and I get hot wax over here.

My feeling is no longer on that wall.

It is totally just on that hot wax.

I don't think any bedroom set is complete without a plug in the wall vibe actually.

I think that should be like a mainstay.

It should be like in that dresser drawer.

And plugged in.

Yeah.

You never know.

And that in itself, like a vibrator that has to plug into the wall, that in itself is pretty kinky.

Like I have one at home.

Is it plugged in?

Yeah, it's always plugged in.

Always.

I mean...

What's the point of not keeping it plugged in?

You can usually take it longer and harder if you warm the ass up first.

Begin alternating sides with a light spank followed by a massage.

Keep your hand as close to the ass as possible in the beginning.

The farther away you take your hand, the less control you have over hitting the exact spot you're aiming for.

And the more likely you are to hit it too hard.

Remember, the more aroused she is, the more enjoyable the spanking will be for both of you.

So don't hold back on stroking the other nearby parts, too.

And the act of spanking is not necessarily what turns me on.

It's, um, like you know, for me, hitting, like that's not what it's about.

It's uh, like she has a great ass.

Like, ah, it's really nice.

And so like when it's over like, it's in my head, you know?

Like when she's like bent over, you just see like the curve of the ass and you get to hit that and when you hit her ass, it doesn't move that much.

It like jiggles once, right?

It's like really nice.

And so when you hit it, it might be in too detailed.

So when you hit it, it feels good.

Like on my hand, I don't even know if she likes it or she doesn't like it at that point, to be really honest.

I don't care.

I just want to smack it.

Yeah, the visual of spanking I think is so hot.

Physically, the temperature change.

Like you can feel the difference from when you've been spanking somebody in one area.

It's hot.

Yeah.

And so you rub your hand over it and you can feel the difference between here, where you haven't been hitting, and here where you have.

And it's like, oh, that's nice and warm right there.

You know?

I like that.

I think it's also like what spanking signifies.

I think it's very it's...

Like spanking in itself as an action, I don't think is like the best sensation just by itself.

But I think what it signifies is just, it's hot.

Like it's, yeah, like you kind of play into that.

Like, oh, I'm such a bad girl.

Like, that's what I like about it.

As you move on to harder slaps, experiment with different sensations.

The tips of your finger versus your entire hand.

The middle of the ass versus right where the cheek curves into the thigh.

You can add variety to your spanks by wearing a pair of soft leather gloves or wetting your hand or putting your hand on a heating pad first.

Many people get very turned on by spanking.

Slapping someone's butt cheeks can be gentle and sensual or deliberate and painful.

Either way, the consistent smacks release endorphins into the bloodstream and fuel the body's arousal.

While the ass is usually the target of a spanking, you can also slap the butt cheeks, thighs, and other fleshy parts of the body.

Always avoid bones and joints, like the tailbone, the back of the knees, and organs like the kidneys.

To add a little something more to a spanking, position a vibrator between her legs so it's nestled against her clitoris exactly where she likes it.

A wand-style clitoral vibrator with a large head or a rounded one meant to rub against work really well for this.

With each spank, her body will press into the vibrator with a little more pressure, and the vibration will feel more intense.

Or, slip a set of Benoit Balls, which are also called Kegel Balls or Smart Balls, inside her.

As you spank her butt cheeks, the balls will move against each other, which will create a vibrating sensation.

If she's on her stomach or leaned over something, gravity will work in her favor, and the balls can actually massage her G-spot.

Have her clench her pelvic muscles around the balls to intensify the sensation.

You could also use an insertable vibrator or a dildo to combine penetration with a rhythmic spanking.

As the spanking progresses, the toy will move inside her, or you can move it for her, delivering double the pleasure.

You can also spank or slap the genitals, but start out very gently.

The tissue of the vulva and the penis are much less fleshy than other parts, and a lot more sensitive.

To spank a vulva, put your hand up, fingers together, facing the vulva.

Start with light taps and see how she responds.

For some women, this will be too intense, but for others, especially once they're aroused, it can be both exciting and stimulating.

Try concentrating on the pubic mound and above the clitoral hood, or spank over the hood directly.

In between slaps and taps, use your fingers to stroke her labia and clitoris.

Talk to her, pay attention to her body language, and only escalate your spanks when you know she's enjoying it.

To spank a penis, hold the shaft with one hand and slap with the other.

Try light taps on the head and see how he responds.

You can increase the speed and strength of the slaps if he's into it.

Look no further than your own house for some great do-it-yourself spanking toys.

Things like wooden spoons, spatulas, hair brushes, or rulers.

All of these tools provide different materials and sensation possibilities.

Make sure you try out a toy on yourself to get a sense of what kind of smack it produces, how much force you need to use, and what it feels like.

You can purchase a range of spanking toys like paddles, slappers, and crops at Sextoy and BDSM stores and websites.

Most of these tools can produce a light sensation or a heavy, painful one, depending on how much force is behind it.

Most paddles have a broad, striking part and a short handle.

Paddles are made of leather, vinyl, rubber, wood, acrylic, and other materials.

Generally, the harder the material, the more intense sensation it can produce.

They come in a variety of colors and some feature one side made of leather or wood and the other side covered in fur.

This double-sided paddle is delightful, since you have both soft and hard in one toy.

You can begin with strokes of fur, move on to taps, slaps, and smacks of leather, then alternate between the two.

A firm slap of leather against the flesh, followed by a soothing rub of sensual fur can feel amazing.

Spanking can feel so good because the ass is full of nerve endings and super sensitive externally and internally, which is why anal penetration can feel so good, too.

Plus, anal sex is a little naughty, which itself is a big turn-on.

Talk about it before you go there.

Share any fears you might have and know that many of them aren't true.

Anal sex can be safe, clean, pain-free, and most importantly, pleasurable.

The first step?

Realize that it's your butt in the driver's seat.

Embrace that power and don't be afraid to call the shot.

I love anal sex.

I actually didn't start having anal sex until pretty late in my life.

I mean, relatively.

Until kind of recently, yeah.

And it's honestly, it's not something like I was really that into the idea of.

And then I started doing it.

When it comes to your ass, there is no faking it.

If you're hesitant, nervous, or not into it, it simply won't work.

Your relaxation and enthusiasm are key and will translate into a ready, willing ass.

I can definitely have an orgasm from anal sex.

One thing that might worry you is if it will be dirty.

Take a soapy bath or shower beforehand and go to the bathroom.

To get sparkly clean, give yourself a plain water enema at least two hours before you start.

It can prevent a messy situation and give you more confidence.

Unless you're monogamous and STI free, use a condom every time.

Protection is even more important for butt sex since anal tissue is more delicate than vaginal tissue.

Lube isn't just nice, it's necessary to make anal penetration feel good.

Try a thick water-based lube that's the consistency of hair gel or a silicone lube.

Contrary to popular belief, anal sex does not have to hurt.

If it hurts, you're doing it wrong.

Don't skip the foreplay and don't go straight to anal.

Begin with plenty of what you know gets you hot, whether it's kissing, teasing, oral sex, or vaginal penetration.

The more turned on you are, the more receptive your ass will be.

Butt plugs are a great way to warm up the ass.

You slide in a well-lubed plug, then get into a 69 position.

As he goes down on you, your arousal builds while your ass gets used to the feeling of fullness.

Win-win.

Most people's number one mistake is that they rush the process and end up in trouble.

If you're an anal virgin, agree in advance on a realistic goal.

How about just one finger or a slim toy plus a great orgasm and call it a night?

If you're experienced, he still needs to take his time and gently coax those sphincter muscles to relax with his mouth, fingers, or a toy before his penis goes anywhere near your ass.

Once you've worked your way up, bear down slightly to help the sphincters relax.

He should begin with slow, gentle strokes as you breathe deeply and sink into the feelings.

Spooning position is good for beginners since his thrusting can be gentle and he can't go too deep.

Or you can take charge by getting on top so you control the angle, depth, and speed.

If you're flexible and love eye contact and kissing, try missionary with your body folded back and your legs on his shoulders.

In a version of doggy style, if he enters you from behind and slightly above, his penis is aimed toward the front wall of the vagina and he can indirectly stimulate your G-spot through the thin membrane.

For many women, clitoral stimulation is the difference between I don't get the allure and oh my God.

His tongue, your hand, or even better, a powerful vibrator on your clitoris can transform anal sex into an intense, full-body experience.

You know, girls feeling that anal sex is going to hurt and the other one is it's going to be messy.

For me, adoption is always, let's go in the shower.

You can do the whole joint.

You can put candles, you can pop in the shower and get into the mood.

The water's too much, you can always turn the nozzle over.

There's a thousand things you can do.

Lube cleans up really easy in the water and if there's anything else that needs to be cleaned up, it literally is like, oh, there's water.

I think this attitude is so important for the girl.

Because like, if the guy is relaxed about it and kind of like, whatever happens happens, don't worry about it, then we're that much more at ease.

And I think that, for me, is like the main thing.

To be comfortable with not getting messy and if I do, the guy's going to be like, he's not going to like, never speak to me again.

What should I give you first?

Both.

The paddle and the hose.

I've never used those.

First time for everything.

I'm a little nervous.

Yeah?

You like water?

You're watching, aren't you?

That feels good.

That's what that's for.

Hold on, I got one more.

I got one more.

I can feel them moving inside of me.

That's what they're for.

Oh, yes, yes.

I think so too.

I like it.

Oh my god!

I don't want to flip over.

Did you just do a video?

My favorite.

Shocker.

Oh my god!

Should I stop?

No, no, no.

Don't stop.

Don't stop.

No, no, no.

If you move, I have to stop.

Oh,

fuck!

Stay here.

Holy fuck.

Holy fuck.

Oh, that felt really good.

Oh, fuck.

I like these.

This?

These?

Is it a V?

I

like when you pull my hair.

I like it a lot.

I wish I could just lift my whole face.

Oh.

Oh,

fuck.

I want your cock.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah, I'm glad.

Let me take it.

Go, fuck!

Right there.

Right there.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Oh,

fuck.

Oh, fuck.

That feels good.

Oh, fuck.

Oh,

fuck.

Oh, fuck.

What did

you forget?

Oh, fuck, I want to go, I want to go, I want to go.

Please, please, please, please, please.

Stay there, stay there, stay there.

Fuck.

Again?

Fuck, I can't take it, I can't take it.

Oh, my butt.

Are you preparing me for something?

Oh, fuck, maybe.

If I was, I would say you're pretty prepared.

Is it in this box?

In a pretty box for you.

Fancy, it's heavy.

Fuck, babe, you got it all the way in there.

It feels good.

Oh, yeah.

I like when you spank me.

I know.

Oh, my God.

Fuck, that feels good.

Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck.

What does this feel like?

Oh, I like it.

Holy fuck.

Holy fuck.

I'm gonna...

Comfort me.

I want your cookies in my ass.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Where is it?

Your cookies in my ass.

Yeah, you like hearing that?

You like hearing your cookies in my ass?

Yes.

Oh, fuck.

Like that?

Or just like that?

Just like that.

Just like that.

Oh, just like that.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Right there.

Right there.

Oh, my God.

Don't talk.

Holy fuck.

It makes me quiet.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, yeah.

This fucking feeling.

Oh, fuck.

Please, baby, don't leave.

Fuck, that feels so good.

Oh, my God.

Holy fuck.

Oh, my God.

Holy fuck.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God.